Shared posts

26 Mar 12:59

The UFC Was Willing To Pay Brock Lesnar Double What The WWE Was Offering

by Ryan Harkness
Bill Hanstock

i forgot how much better shape borp lunchface was in while he was in UFC

Brock Lesnar retires UFC

Getty Image


While Brock Lesnar’s retirement from MMA and re-signing with  the WWE seemed to come out of the blue, you better believe there was crazy action behind the scenes. Brock and the WWE had been enmeshed in pre-negotiation headbutting for months, with Lesnar using every opportunity to rub the UFC’s Lesnarmania in Vince McMahon’s face and extract every last cent out of the sports entertainment company.

When Vince made an offer Brock couldn’t refuse, he still called UFC owner Lorenzo Fertitta who sounded perfectly willing to not just match it but double it. Here’s Brock talking to the Associated Press:

“Lorenzo said to me, ‘Can we sharpen our pencil? Can we double it'” Lesnar said. “I said, ‘It’s not about that. I’m calling you to tell you where my heart is, and it’s not about the money.’

“And then in the back of my mind, I’m thinking, ‘Well, yeah, it is about the money, but I don’t have to beat myself up for it.’ To prepare for another MMA fight, we’re talking 16, 18 weeks of pure hell, and then the cage door shuts and it’s on.”

Compare that to the WWE, where he just has to keep his beef on at the gym, show up at occasional RAW tapings and PPVs, and do what he’s done well since 2000. With MMA, he would have had to suck at a whole slew of martial arts to close up massive holes in his game, all the while worrying that one of them would open him up to an ass whupping of epic proportions.

And it turns out that Lesnar just wasn’t feeling as indestructible as he used to after that bout with diverticulitis.

“When you’re sick for two or three years and you don’t know what’s going on, all of a sudden I went from the baddest man on the planet, to vulnerable,” Lesnar said. “It’s reality. My whole life I’ve been this superhuman freak that just kills people, a savage beast. I wasn’t that guy anymore. … Of course my confidence was totally jaded on my last three fights. Whose wouldn’t be? Is Anderson Silva the same guy he was (after breaking his leg)?

“I’ve been a barbarian my whole life. I’m just a smarter barbarian now. Evolution, you know?”

“I tried to picture myself coming down to the cage, and it was like a bad dream,” Lesnar said. “It just wasn’t right. It didn’t feel right.”

It’s too bad that Lesnar’s last experiences in the cage were brutal beatings at the hands of Cain Velasquez and Alistair Overeem. They underscored the fact that Brock would never be the best in the world at heavyweight, which is what a competitive superfreak like Lesnar needs in order to not be a miserable bastard (or at least less of a miserable bastard than he would be otherwise).

He could have fought Frank Mir again at Madison Square Garden and made millions. He could have fought guys like Mirko Crocop and Josh Barnett or been Big Nog’s retirement fight in Brazil. So many exciting and interesting options that would have kept him away from the killers in the top five and earned everyone tons of money and publicity. Instead he’ll finish his career in the WWE working to try and get guys like Roman Reigns over. As a fan of both pro wrestling and mixed martial arts, I feel like fans got the short end of this stick on this one.

(Via: Associated Press)

24 Mar 15:28

Conan O’Brien Turned Robert Durst Into a Terrifying Pop-Up Ghoul

by Sean Fitz-Gerald

Capitalizing on the recent (rabid) popularity of HBO's The Jinx, Conan O'Brien took a moment at the beginning of his late-night show to lampoon "the creepy millionaire accused of three murders." According to Conan, Robert Durst is so sneaky that his floating, ghostly likeness can pop up anywhere and everywhere. ... More »






18 Mar 22:15

gravyholocaustsucks:It’s been driving me nuts trying to figure...





gravyholocaustsucks:

It’s been driving me nuts trying to figure out who old man Sean Penn looks like; finally figured it out Penn has devolved into Al Pacino from ‘Dick Tracy’

17 Mar 20:25

Everything We Know About Robert Durst’s Second Wife, Debrah Lee Charatan [Updated]

by Nate Jones

Of all the characters who cross paths with Robert Durst in The Jinx, perhaps the most enigmatic is Durst's second wife, Debrah Lee Charatan. First seen bailing Durst out of jail after his 2001 murder arrest, Charatan appears only in archival police interview footage, where she's a brash, sarcastic presence. (She declined ... More »






16 Mar 18:09

Scientific Podcast Goes Boink, Episode 126: Super Embarrassing And Also Bad

by Bill Hanstock

Bill goes through some of his bad teenage writing. Get ready to be embarrassed on another person's behalf.

Bill recently went through storage and found a bunch of his writing, going all the way back to elementary school. In this week's episode, he sits down with Pete to read some stuff from middle school, a short story from community college and a bunch of painfully bad, lovestruck songs from high school. Buckle up.

If you like this podcast and would like to become a patron, please check out our new Patreon page.

You can click the below Flash player to listen immediately. Extended show notes and links are below.

This podcast is available on Stitcher Radio! Download the free Stitcher app for your smartphone and listen to your heart's content.

You can also subscribe to the show on iTunes and leave a review if you so desire. If that isn't enough, you can download the podcast directly at Libsyn and you can subscribe to the RSS feeds at Libsyn and right here at Progressive Boink.

If you have feedback, want to bring something to our attention, or would like to hear us discuss something, please email us at scientificpod@gmail.com

For your full enjoyment, links to things discussed on the podcast:

A drawing of a shirtless man holding a glowing guitar
Greek architecture (to scale)

16 Mar 18:09

Revisiting the Kevin Smith library: 'Clerks'

by Emily Rowley

Emily Rowley and Bill Hanstock have decided to re-watch the entire Kevin Smith oeuvre. First up: his first film, naturally!

EMILY: I originally got the idea to revisit Kevin Smith's films a few months ago when Tusk was released, and I realized I had absolutely zero interest in watching it. It made me wonder when, exactly, had Kevin Smith fallen out of our collective favor? A decade ago I, and a lot of my friends, worshiped the guy. He was a the geek made good, the no budget indie guy who got to make Hollywood movies. More importantly, he made awesome, funny movies.

But then l started to wonder just how good those early films are. Most of the "Jersey Trilogy" movies I hadn't re-watched in years. Are they still any good? Were they ever objectively "good," or is any remaining fondness just nostalgia on my part? How do I feel about these characters and these stories as 30-something, as opposed to a teenager or discontent 22 year-old? Do I even like Kevin Smith at all?

And so we begin with Clerks, which I'm happy to say that I did still like quite a bit. Like, not love. Once upon a time, Clerks was a top 10 movie for me. Not so anymore, mostly because (and I imagine this will become a theme in these reviews) I just don't like Kevin Smith's writing as much as I used to. Part of this could be attributed to the cast at that time being only semi-professional actors (if that), but the larger issue is that every Kevin Smith character talks like Kevin Smith. That's why they all veer from comfortable crassness to, "I have been to college and here are all the words I know."

Bill, you're an actual writer of movies and not just a couch-satisfied asshole like myself. How did you feel about the writing here?

BILL: Well, having recently re-watched former longtime favorite movie Garden State, I sort of knew what I was signing up for here going in, but excited about this experiment all the same. Much like Garden State, what I'm going into these Kevin Smith movies expecting is that I'll still be able to largely appreciate them for what they were at the time and what they meant to me as a 20-or-whatever-year-old, but I expect some of them to be very much artifacts of their time and dated. But that's the thing about historical context: it matters!

As for the writing, yes, Clerks is possibly (only possibly!) Kevin Smith at his Kevin Smith-iest. Clerks (and to a ... not really lesser, but different extent, Pulp Fiction) is the move that launched a million filmmakers ... or at least scriptwriters. With Clerks, an absolute assload of movie-loving kids and dorks (who were all really smart and made sure everyone around them knew at all times how smart they were) suddenly realized they could write movies, plays and stories featuring kids like them, sounding more or less like they sounded. More accurately, they realized they could write dialogue that sounded like an idealized version of what they imagined they sounded like. Suddenly, a million word processors and Windows 95-ready computers were bustling with dialogue that everyone felt was endlessly clever, brilliant, hilarious and snappy -- His Girl Friday, but with dick jokes. It all originated here, with this movie.

And in Clerks, you get the birth of a lot of the sins that are symptomatic of people who were inspired to write by Kevin Smith. I should know; I'm one of them. Dialogue that is a little too smart, a little too verbose, a little too clever and a little too crass. It's not all the time, and it doesn't hurt the movie overall, but every 20th or 30th line, you'll get a piece of dialogue that's a real mouthful. The repertory theater-level actors aren't quite ready for it, don't quite believe it and it doesn't sound like something a real human being would say. That's a lesson I never learned for myself until I started actually putting some of my own stuff on film. The dialogue looks clever and brilliant on the page, but when it makes the leap into an actual human mouth, there's a real disconnect there. That's a red flag that it's time to rework that line. But writers are stubborn and especially the Kevin Smith acolytes don't know why they should have to kill their darlings while Dante got away with delivering a line like "I believe I'm the impetus behind your refusal to wed."

And as you pointed out while we were watching it, all the characters sound the same. Like, all of them. I don't have a problem with that in Clerks, because all these people hang out in the same small Jersey town, and groups of friends WILL all generally sound the same. Blake Snyder talks about giving all your characters "a limp and an eye patch," which is shorthand for "give each character something BIG and immediately noticeable that will make them distinct from one another." I don't think it's necessary in Clerks, but it is worth noting.

Overall, the writing of Clerks holds up, because stuff like "Didn't I see her change your tire once?" and "I don't care if she's my cousin or not; I'm gonna knock those boots again tonight" are quasi-forgotten gems, the funny stuff is still (mostly) funny, and it was groundbreaking and important for a reason, which we can still largely appreciate. And little things like the reveal of the Chewly's gum representative is kind of sublime. From a story standpoint, I appreciate that it starts off seeming like a lot of little, disjointed, Slacker-type vignettes and gradually coheres as things progress.

While we're talking about craftsmanship, I think another thing we were struck by when we were re-watching is how surprisingly cinematic the whole thing was. You're with me on that, right?

Yes! I went into this expecting to still enjoy the performances and writing, but to find a film that was shot and cut with a level of skill usually seen in a local commercial for Grandma Pat's Upholstery Outlet. Even Smith himself has long derided his own skill as a director. He's a guy whose reputation is for movies with clever and unique dialogue, but utilitarian direction. So I was really pleased to find that, while my tolerance for the writing has diminished, this is actually a pretty gorgeous movie.

Now that I've said that, let me qualify it. This movie isn't Manhattan, and it isn't Ikiru. But to its credit, it was made well before the days when any kid with a digital camera and a Macbook Pro could make a decent looking movie. The Wikipedia fairies tell me that the budget for the movie was $27,575. For context, that's only $5000 more than The Blair Witch Project, which looks like it was shot by accident. In fact, a lot of the indie movies of this era look like shit, but get a pass because of what they were attempting to do. This doesn't. Clerks looks like a movie with a tiny budget, but it also thoroughly looks like a movie.

One scene which particularly stands out for me is at night, outside the Quick Stop. Jay is under the lone street light, dancing to music from a nearby boombox. Silent Bob leans against the brick wall, half-cloaked in shadow. It's naturalistic, but still cinematic. Which is an incredibly pretentious thing to say, but I'm going to roll with it. It shows that Smith was actually invested in trying to make his movie look pretty, and not just a catalyst for getting his writing out.

The scene also illustrates how well Smith worked with black and white in the film. Like I said before, this isn't beautiful Hollywood black and white, which is really a palate of fluid greys. The contrast here is sharp, and harsh. As it should be in a movie about kids in a crappy town who work menial jobs. The B&W cinematography also serves to elevate the proceedings, I feel. That community theater vibe that you touched on would, I think, be far less acceptable in full drab color. As I mentioned when we were watching the movie, black and white hides a lot of sins. And this movie has A LOT of them. From Randall's acid wash jeans and fanny pack, to Caitlin's belted suspender dress, to Dante's date-night Cosby sweater (do we have to start calling those something else now?), to Veronica's literal everything, this movie is a showcase for a decade of terrible decision-making. Paul Simon said everything looks worse in black and white, but he hadn't yet lived through the 90's.

What (aside from Dante's jeans tucked into boots look) stood out to you?

What stood out is how exceedingly competently the movie was directed, which is difficult for almost all first-time directors. Hell, some directors never get to the level of craftsmanship that this film exhibited. The composition of nearly every shot is really well-done. All the two-shots (of which, as Smith has noted incessantly, there are many) are terrific, in large part because the real-world backdrop of the cluttered-by-nature convenience store -- when captured in black and white, with no garish colors to distract -- is at once urban, utilitarian and strangely gorgeous. When Dante and Caitlin hasten to the video store for a heart-to-heart late in the film, the background comprised of the spines of black video cases is absolutely lovely.

While there are questionable decisions directing-wise (most notably some of the coverage choices, such as the Dante POV of customers winging cigarettes at him and the close-up shots of Dante during the Rick Derris scene), almost all of the inserts are great and almost all of the shots are well-composed. As you noted, the editing is top-notch. A veteran director would have attempted to make things move or come up with more "business," but that would have ruined this film. The sedentary nature of the directing in turn mirrors the life-on-a-treadmill everyday lives of the characters. The camera sits, but so did we when we were that age and trying to figure out what the hell we were going to do with our lives.

Similarly, film grain has never been grainier than in this film. This also helps deepen the emotional aspect of the film itself. Nothing was ever more serious than how shitty life was when we were fresh (or not-so-fresh) out of high school. Filming these mundane, too-clever-for-their-own-good conversations on some wholesale film stock that might have been otherwise used for a stag reel really carries that perceived weight of what the characters thought they were going through.

Anything else I'm forgetting? Don't want to give Clerks short shrift, because eventually we're going to be up to Jersey Girl and then who knows what the hell will happen.

Aside from looking at the film as a film (and it seems we're pretty much in agreement that this guy holds up), one of the biggest questions I had going into this was how I would relate to these characters at this point in my life. Clerks was originally released when I was about 12, and I didn't watch it until my later teens. But I then I proceeded to grow into a 22 year-old college drop-out who also worked a serious of jobs which would have been great if it wasn't for the fucking customers. So I worried the movie would suffer from, "Holden Caulfield Syndrome." Caulfield seems revolutionary when you're a kid. Then you become a real, actual adult and realize, "nah, that kid's just an asshole."

Our friend (and Progressive Boink Emeritus) Brandon Stroud once told me that Clerks is Kevin Smith's only truly good movie, because it's the only movie where he had something to say. I'm not sure I agree with that, but this is certainly the movie with the most heart. Because while Smith might be comfortable with dick jokes and screwball comedy (if necrophilia counts as screwball), he's actually telling a really personal, painfully honest story. Dante Hicks isn't a particularly likeable person, but he is a relatable one; a smart guy who is unhappy with his life, knows he probably deserves better but can't figure out how to make things BE better. Every whiny repetition of, "I'm not even supposed to BE HERE today!" is a reminder not that he got called in to work one day, but that every day his life is far worse than the one he'd imagined for himself. This is even reflected in his shoddy treatment of poor Veronica. His obsession with getting Caitlin back is not some misguided attempt to recapture his glory days; it's an attempt to self-sabotage the one good part of his life because it doesn't mesh with all the relentlessly shitty parts. Like I said before, I relate to that. Those feelings of angst and disappointment still color who I am now. I may not like Dante, but his struggle still hits me right where I live.

If anything, I found that age has changed my perception of Randall more. Jeff Anderson famously auditioned as a joke, but he's the only one in the movie with a true handle on Smith's sometimes unwieldy dialogue. Randall Graves is a terrible employee, far worse friend, and all around unrepentant dirtbag. Though he still gets all the best lines, I just can't fully embrace such an unlikeable character anymore. Which is not to say that a character must be likeable to be enjoyable; as stated, I don't think Dante is a particularly good person, either. But whereas I can still connect with Dante's motivations, Randall's worldview just feels hollow. I know this is me showing my age. As a disenfranchised 20-something I might've cheered when Randall spit water in the face of an annoying customer; as a mostly franchised 32 year-old, I would write a strongly worded email to corporate. I just feel like ... "fuck 'em if they can't take a joke" is a great in theory, but it isn't really how the world works.

Any final thoughts?

No, I think you pretty much nailed it. Although I feel like a lot of Kevin Smith's movies actually have a lot of heart, particularly Clerks 2, which Smith often says is his personal favorite of his films. I'm interested to see how THAT one holds up on a re-watch.

At any rate, we'll see you next time, when we handle Mallrats.

16 Mar 18:08

Kevin Smith Confirmed Your Mallrats Sequel Hopes

by Sean Fitz-Gerald
Bill Hanstock

what timing


Talking with Arizona radio host Shmonty this weekend, Kevin Smith officially revealed that there will be a Mallrats 2. It's only a half-script right now, but Smith said he and his team should start production next May. "Yeah, that's what we're working on," he said. "Nobody's clamoring for a Mallrats ... More »






14 Mar 00:41

10 Mad Men Characters We Want to See Again

by Margaret Lyons
Bill Hanstock

SAL OR BUST


With Mad Men's final season right around the corner, it's time to accept that we only have a few more weeks with Don and Peggy and Roger and Joan. But who else might we see, just once more? I'm not suggesting all these characters should return, nor do I have ... More »






12 Mar 15:31

Watch the New Trailer for I Am Big Bird

by Joe Hennes

iambigbirdposter

May 6th seems so far away.  Of course it does, since that’s the date we’re waiting for to see I Am Big Bird in theaters (or a day earlier on iTunes).  The good thing about looming release dates is that it brings us things like posters (seen above) and new trailers (seen below).

Enjoy both of these new things, and get yourself excited for the official release of this excellent film!

Click here to try on the orange pants on the ToughPigs forum!

by Joe Hennes – Joe@ToughPigs.com

12 Mar 15:05

keepin it clean: travel edition

by kris

20150311-sickness

long story short i got sick

12 Mar 15:03

The Bizarre, Unsolved Mystery of ‘My Immortal,’ the World’s Worst Fanfiction Story

by Abraham Riesman

Like Stonehenge or the works of Shakespeare, we’ll probably never know who was behind “My Immortal” — the massive Harry Potter–inspired text that is widely regarded as the worst piece of fanfiction ever written — but there’s no shortage of theories. Was it, as the text’s pseudonymous author’s notes suggest, a ... More »






10 Mar 21:41

No-Talent Ass-Clown Michael Bolton Gamely Agrees to Office Space Parody

by Nate Jones

We all knew Michael Bolton could take a joke, but we never knew Michael Bolton could take this joke. ... More »






10 Mar 21:22

Tim Burton Will Navigate the Minefields of Animal Rights and Racism for a Live-Action Dumbo Remake

by Nate Jones

It's a big week for elephants: Days after Ringling Brothers announced it would retire its last circus elephants, Disney announced that Tim Burton will direct a live-action Dumbo remake for the studio. If that seems like the sort of thing wouldn't fly in the age of PETA, don't worry — The ... More »






09 Mar 21:09

Missing comic book artist Norman Lee presumed dead

by Phil Yu
Bill Hanstock

jesus christ

Search called off for DC and Marvel inker, who went missing while snorkeling in Grand Cayman.



Tragic news... The search for Marvel and DC comic book artist Norman Lee, who went missing last week during a snorkeling trip in the Cayman Islands, has been called off. Lee is presumed dead.

Search called off for missing comic book artist Norman Lee

Lee was snorkeling with his wife of the eastern coast of Grand Cayman on Thursday when they were separated and he went missing approximately 250 yards off shore. The search, which was hindered by strong currents, was called off on Friday evening. It is now being considered a recovery mission.

Read more »
09 Mar 19:08

I Grew Up in a Cult. Here’s What Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Gets Right.

by Flor Edwards

For most viewers who stream the new Netflix show Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, the story line will be an unfamiliar peek into what it’s like to emerge into the world after living in an underground doomsday cult. But for me, having grown up in an apocalyptic cult, which cut me off from ... More »






04 Mar 22:36

CSI: Cyber Is As Dumb As It Seems

by Margaret Lyons

I tried every possible way to get out of writing about CSI: Cyber. "Oh, just round up the dumbest things," my bosses said. "It's all dumb things," I pleaded, but they were unmoved. The dumbest things, the dumbest things. Would that be the line, "Unlike drugs, babies have a value ... More »






04 Mar 21:42

It turns out the Village People recorded a punk song in 1981

by wil@wilwheaton.net (Wil Wheaton)

I came across this punk rock masterpiece on one of my very favorite blogs, Dangerous Minds.

Now, look, I’m going to warn you: it’s the longest 2:27 of your life, and the video is sort of the ancient progenitor to a looping .gif, likely due to budget constraints, and the possibility that the band involved wasn’t particularly into recording a punk song because the band was THE VILLAGE PEOPLE.

Yes, those Village People.

BEHOLD:

Dangerous Minds says:

“Food Fight” is an anomaly in the Village People’s oeuvre: a first and last attempt to cash in on the punk audience from a band clearly grasping at straws, willing to try absolutely anything to stay relevant.

Musically, one can hear the best elements of DEVO, as well as The Dickies, and Hodo’s nerdcore vocals sound remarkably like Weird Al.

“Food fight” plays out like the music you’d hear in an early 80’s teenage T & A movie where there’d be some marginally “punk” band playing on the beach in wrap-around sunglasses and clam-diggers, while a bunch of girls in string bikinis did robot dances in the sand. Yes, it’s that good. The subject matter would seem to indicate the Village People’s new target demographic was middle school children.

I’m super conflicted about it, because on the one hand, it’s pretty epic … but it’s also pretty horrible, and it feels like ten minutes of repetition to me.

But, still, the fucking VILLAGE PEOPLE recorded a song that would have been perfectly at home in Valley Girl, or Night of the Comet, or Midnight Madness, or even on an episode of CHiPs, if they did something about the way old white people thought punk rock and new wave kids acted in 1981.

What do you think?

03 Mar 23:51

Kacey Musgraves’s New Single Is a Wonderful Sing-along Ode to Nosy Neighbors

by Lindsey Weber

"Mind your own biscuits / and life will be gravy," Kacey Musgraves sings in "Biscuits," her first official song since Same Trailer, Different Park, the album that won her Album of the Year at the CMAs and Best New Artist at the Grammys back in 2013. Now she's tackling the meddling ... More »






28 Feb 20:10

Michelle Rodriguez Says She Wants ‘Minorities’ to ‘Stop Stealing’ Superhero Roles From White People, Then Apologizes [Updated]

by E. Alex Jung

Michelle Rodriguez quickly shot down rumors that she might star in the Green Lantern, and it seems like it might be out of principle. "That's the dumbest thing I ever heard," she told a TMZ reporter. "I think it's so stupid because of this whole minorities in Hollywood thing. It's ... More »






26 Feb 22:14

Good Riddance- Peace In Our Time -record release shows!

Bill Hanstock

yeah might have to make it to the troubadour for this one

Last week, we announced Good Riddance’s hotly anticipated full-length, Peace in Our Time. Today, the band announced a grip of record release shows in California (sorry rest of the world, you’ll have to wait to get your dates!), culminating in their hometown of Santa Cruz! Our very own Bad Cop/Bad Cop will be joining them. Stay tuned as we’ll be premiering a new song very soon!

26 Feb 18:44

Pimp My Ride, Like Your Entire Childhood, Was a Lie

by Lindsey Weber

Excuse us if we're bursting your bubble here, but it turns out that MTV's beloved fixer-upper car show Pimp My Ride was total bullshit. The Huffington Post interviewed a few of the show's past contestants, who each had different complaints about the show's "reality" — everything from producers removing the add-ons after ... More »






26 Feb 16:27

Babs Tarr’s Batgirl swings onto WonderCon program cover

by Kevin Melrose
Bill Hanstock

batgirl is swinging onto wondercon

Babs Tarr’s Batgirl swings onto WonderCon program cover

Batgirl heads from Burnside to Anaheim with series artist Babs Tarr’s program cover for WonderCon 2015. The convention’s Toucan blog unveils the cover, along with a glimpse into Tarr’s creative process — and a hint that a T-shirt may be on the way. The program books will be given free to attendees at WonderCon Anaheim, […]
25 Feb 21:09

thatzak:majiinboo: kateoplis: School lunches worldwide The US...

















thatzak:

majiinboo:

kateoplis:

School lunches worldwide

The US is such a joke

I’m so mad.

25 Feb 21:08

There Will Be a Bob's Burgers Cookbook

by Sean Fitz-Gerald

If you love Bob's Burgers and the punny burgers of the day names, then you probably love Cole Bowden's Tumblr, The Bob's Burger Experiment. Bowden takes the names you see on Bob's chalkboard, creates a recipe, and then crafts an outlandish, gourmet burger from scratch. NPR's The Salt reports that ... More »






25 Feb 16:15

DuckTales Is Coming Back: You Should Start Having Kids

by Nate Jones

In case the Parks and Rec finale didn't convince you that you would only find true fulfillment by bringing a child into the world, Disney XD today announced its plans to bring back DuckTales (a-whoo-ooh!) in 2017. That's the 30-year anniversary of the original show, and oh, by the way, ... More »






24 Feb 22:45

Everything We Know So Far About Kurt Sutter’s New Show, The Bastard Executioner

by Leigh Kolb

Sons of Anarchy creator Kurt Sutter and his team are in full-on preparation mode for upcoming TV series The Bastard Executioner, a historical-fiction drama set to air on FX. The show is the brainchild of executive producer Brian Grazer, who said he finds the medieval executioner to be a “fascinating” and “morally complex” ... More »






24 Feb 17:55

All 26 Tom Haverford Business Ideas on Parks and Recreation, Ranked by Viability

by Nick Robins-Early

This piece originally ran in November of 2013. It has been updated in advance of the Parks and Recreation series finale tomorrow, February 24. When Parks and Recreation says its good-byes in its hour-long series finale, there's a better than average chance that we’ll hear Tom Haverford (Aziz Ansari) toss out ... More »






23 Feb 14:53

Who Was Left Out of the Oscars ‘In Memoriam’ Montage?

by Nate Jones

Every year, the Academy honors dozens of departed in the Oscars' "In Memoriam" segment. And every year, they manage to leave people out. Sometimes it's a timing issue, sometimes it's an indication that an actor was primarily known for TV work, and sometimes it's just an oversight. Here are the ... More »






20 Feb 23:14

I Once Watched Two and a Half Men for Two and a Half Days Straight. The Finale Was One of the Most Bizarre Things I’ve Ever Seen.

by Gil Ozeri
Bill Hanstock

i don't know how i forgot about the two and a half men thing when pete did the dawson's creek thing


Have you ever left hell and then gone back? I have. In 2011, I decided to binge-watch every single episode of Two and a Half Men. One hundred seventy-seven episodes. Seventy-five hours. In a row, without sleep. And I succeeded. It was stupid and torturous and, as it turns out, ... More »






20 Feb 00:39

Tina Belcher Is Sleater-Kinney’s Biggest Fan With the Bob’s Burgers–fied Video for ‘A New Wave’

by Dee Lockett
Bill Hanstock

this video is great but i'm not sure what show it's from


We've probably all, at one point or another, dreamed about our favorite band randomly appearing in our childhood bedroom for our own private jam session. Well, as Bob's Burgers has repeatedly shown us, anything can happen in the mind of Tina Belcher, and here she is — along with Louise ... More »