Darendukes

Pity the youth ministry. It's a real struggle recruiting kids to your cause. You know who else struggled to recruit the young people? Life Savers Ministries of Opelika, Alabama, sure does.

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Two people are dead and three others were injured after a woman dropped her mobile phone into a pit toilet in China's Henan Province. The woman's husband climbed into the cesspit to retrieve the lost device, but fainted from the stench, initiating a series of rescue attempts that ended in tragedy.

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Meet Pig. Pig the dog of Birmingham, Alabama. She was the big new star of Do Dah Day. And y'all know how B'ham is about its Do Dah Day dogs, bless their hearts. Pig is kinda screwed-up, aesthetically, which of course just deepens the Five Tuesdays In Heaven With Marley and Me narrative potential, fulfilled here by the Birmingham News' Joey Kennedy:

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An 89-year-old veteran who went missing from his retirement home in Sussex, England yesterday morning has been located: He showed up today on the beachhead of Normandy, medals pinned to his coat, to take in the anniversary celebration of the D-Day invasion.

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A newlywed husband and wife died Wednesday morning after their cars collided in a head-on crash in north Texas.

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Austin police are warning people to stay away from a pond in Southeast Austin, after getting reports of alligators sightings.  According to APD:

There have been recent reports of an alligator being seen in and near a pond in the 13000 block of Thome Valley Dr. Residents have put up alligator safety signs to warn other residents, especially children. There is also a sign indicating that it is an alligator habitat. We urge residents to stay out of the pond. Do not swim in it. Safety tips posted from the Texas Parks and Wildlife:

• Don’t feed them
• Don’t get close to them
• Don’t swim or wade, where they are
• Don’t let your pets near them
• Don’t agitate or tease them
• Don’t try to catch one
• Don’t approach an alligator’s nest
• Do observe from a safe distance on land
• Do discourage others from feeding them
• Do treat them with respect as an important element of nature

If you have questions about the alligator please call TPWD 409-736-2551or email txgator.info@tpwd.texas.gov.

There's a megachurch in Texas, 90 percent of whose 4,500 members are LGBT. And it's been officiating gay marriages for like 40 years. Give us that old-time religion!

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If you, for whatever reason, think it's a good idea to run around in a gorilla costume, let this be a tale of warning: Earlier this week, a veterinarian at a zoo in Spain reportedly shot an employee dressed in an ape suit after confusing him for a real gorilla.

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Cyclist Malcolm Fox was wrapping up a bike ride at a popular trail in Somerset West, South Africa, when three men, one of the armed with a gun, approached him. They took his bike, phone, car keys, and sunglasses, but left the GoPro camera mounted on his helmet.

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LeVar Burton has always been a big believer in the power of literacy. So, with the imminent return of his beloved kids' series Reading Rainbow, he's also debuting a new theme song about how books have allowed him to go anywhere and do anything. Literally. LeVar Burton is a living god.

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The punishment for the Georgetown cop caught on video tripping high school students during a soccer game has been revealed. Officer George Bermudez was notified of his punishment on Tuesday, but the Georgetown Police Department would not reveal that punishment until Wednesday night. Bermudez will receive a 40 day suspension without pay. He does not have the right to appeal the punishment as previously reported. Bermudez has five business days to officially accept his punishment. If he refuses, he will be indefinitely suspended.

See Officer Bermudez' discipline notice.

The streets in front of the Capitol have been transformed into a half pipe and BMX bike track for the first day of X-Games Austin starting this afternoon downtown.  Skateboarding legend Tony Hawk says there are many local competitors at this weekends games who got their start in Austin area skate and BMX parks, "I'm glad that kids can start at such a young age and they have facilities available to them.  Because when I was young, there was one skate park in Southern California and you had to really love skating and live it to even go there." 

Hawk kicks off today's festivities with a demo.  Things wrap up with a MySpace concert by Holy Ghost.  After today, all competition will be at the Circuit of the America's.

 Chase Hawk is an Austin born and bred BMX bike competitor.  He will be participating in this weekend's games as well. 

 Find a complete listing of events here.

Before he was Tyrion Lannister—before he was even the Station Agent—Peter Dinklage was a high school kid with a kickass mullet.

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A Florida teen and his father were driving home when they came upon a semi-truck stuck on the train tracks. When it became clear that the train was going to pulverize the truck, 15-year-old Austin Broderick did as any teen would: he took out his phone and started recording. His narration is on-point: "That was not...good."

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Alexander "Sasha" Shulgin, pioneer, pharmacologist, author, and medicinal chemist, passed away this evening at the age of 88. He is best known for introducing MDMA, the purest form of ecstasy, to psychologists in the 70s.

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George Jung, the notorious "cocaine cowboy" portrayed by Johnny Depp in Blow, has been released from prison after serving 20 years.

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Whether you're a fan of Mike Judge's late-night HBO comedy Silicon Valley or not, you should know it has contributed the greatest dick joke of all time to pop culture. Why? Because it uses math. Watch above and learn, my friends.

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United Flight 1637 was supposed to be a quick holiday jaunt for off-duty Air Force Captain Mike Gongol and his family. But when the 737's pilot suffered an apparent heart attack, Gongol ended up in the cockpit, helping guide the plane to an emergency landing that saved 160 souls.

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After declaring martial law Tuesday, the Thai military has launched a coup in earnest, taking over the government in response to months of political turmoil and the removal of the country's prime minister and members of the administration.

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