Ryan MustardLOL
The West is definitely catching up to Korea not just in terms of gameplay skills and popularity, but casting, too. A fun exhibition League of Legends match between two pros at this weekend's IEM tournament in San Jose were casted by no less than six commentators. And, as you can see and hear above, this caused some chaos.
Ryan MustardThis game has always been intriguing, but if this is a "gameplay trailer" then I'm pretty sure I'd get bored in 4 minutes and 27 seconds of playing this game.
![[Video] No Man's Sky - Gameplay Trailer | PS4](http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/6eQms9qq7vL_O1-kf6lhlwWd2wvtI17LBrs4Br_SDRU.jpg "[Video] No Man's Sky - Gameplay Trailer | PS4") |
submitted by KaneHart [link] [105 comments] |
Ryan MustardThat GTA V chain reaction is pretty great.
In today's Highlight Reel we have seemingly endless explosion chains in GTA V, safety advice for Far Cry 4, and a special (fake) cameo in Destiny by everyone's favorite portable quantum tunneling device.
Ryan MustardI love that first video. The leather holster might be just as impressive as the knife.
Watch as a Latvian master blacksmith forges a Damascus steel1 knife with 320 layers of steel. Then he uses the finished knife to make a leather holder for it.
Pound it flat, fold it over. Pound it flat, fold it over. I love that twist he puts on the steel in the middle of the process. You can also see how their chisels are made, how their axes are made, or take a listen to what their knives sound like after being struck with a hammer (headphones on for this one).
The knives are available for sale from John Neeman (for $650), along with axes, chef's knives, longbows, and other handmade items.
Damascus steel was a legendarily tough and resilient steel used to make Middle Eastern swords. The original process for making Damascus steel was lost, but many modern bladesmiths claim to have rediscovered the process or gotten close enough to call their steel Damascus.↩
Ryan MustardPretty cool and short.
Fascinating visual explanation by Jacob O’Neil at Animagraffs. Be careful, you can lose an hour or so on this site, easily. (Via Shawn King.)
It's the kind of thing fans have argued about for ages: Could the Dark Knight take down the Dark Lord of the Sith?
Ryan MustardThe dulcet tones of Leo Wichtowski everybody.
Rollers of the Realm is a pinball/RPG hybrid. It's also the type of pinball game I've wanted for a long time.
Ryan MustardSometimes these lists are really great.
1. "To see a world in a grain of sand and a heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour.”
2. “I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and that’s how I know it doesn’t exist.”
3. “The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.”
4. “When you think about an apple, you also think about the opposite of an apple.”
5. “You have to breathe in order to live, so breathing is how you get in touch with the sacred space of your heart.”
6. “In the universe, there are things that are known, and things that are unknown, and in between, there are doors.”
7. “This is a fragment of a holographic reality that a higher consciousness made.”
8. “Everything to be imagined is an image of truth.”
9. “The melancholiness of the ocean; the melancholiness of everything else.”
10. “Art is the tree of life. Science is the tree of death.”
11. “There’s a theoretical physicist inside all of our minds, and you can talk and talk, but it’s living.”
12. “I will not reason and compare: my business is to create.”
13. “I have a goal to be just the most craziest person of all time. And when I say craziest, I mean, like, I want to do like Olympic-level things.”
Jaden Smith: 4, 11, 13
Willow Smith: 2, 5, 7, 9
William Blake: 1, 3, 6, 8, 10, 12
Ryan MustardThis makes me nervous. I foresee a similar reaction to the free U2 album thing. Maybe they'll rebrand it as iTunes radio which is already on your phone.
On Wednesday, the Financial Times reported that Apple will make a major move to push its newly acquired Beats Music app to all iOS users starting "early next year." Citing "people familiar with the situation," the report (subscription required) claims the Beats Music subscription service will become a pre-installed app in an iOS update, and such a software update could happen "as early as March" of next year.
If true, this move would be the first major Apple-branded action involving Beats, Inc. after acquiring both its hardware and software divisions in a $3 billion deal this past May. A forced app install will not replace or remove existing iTunes and iTunes Radio services, but the report didn't clarify whether iOS users would be given any promotional offer to sample the paid Beats service as new users.
Prior reports asserted that "Beats Music" as a distinct music-subscription service in name would soon end and that Apple would roll such a paid streaming service into the iTunes app. However, the FT report clarified that Beats' service would persist, only "rebranded under the iTunes label." Additionally, the FT pointed out that this move echoed streaming-music rival Spotify's efforts to have its own app pre-installed on smartphones made by HTC.
Ryan MustardIt is decided. This game will be mine.
Dragon Age: Inquisition is a fantasy game. That word—fantasy—is a sort of shorthand, with a bunch of connotations. The word suggests to us that this game has dragons, and elves, and magic. There will be knights, monsters, and probably an evil witch or two.
Ryan MustardCheck out the LHN video about the Squirrels and Irrigation on campus https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRFX0iISZDc
Disclaimer: Before you proceed, just remember that none of the links are vetted and you may be reading something written by a 13-year-old, a so-called sports journalist or Clay Travis (is there really any difference between those options?). Read at your own peril.
It was a great weekend for the men's basketball team.
A couple of weeks ago, everyone had written Texas off. [CBS Sports]
Charlie is staying in Austin. [247 Texas]
Texas is bowl eligible! [247 Texas]
Don't get your hopes up about a Texas-A&M bowl match up just yet. [Dallas Morning News]
Squirrels are messing up the irrigation system at UT. [LHN]
Coats are for wimps! The best and worst of week 12. [Fox Sports]
Is the latest poll a bad omen for TCU? [Dallas Morning News]
A Minnesota linebacker thinks TCU is a better team than The Ohio State University. [Dallas Morning News]
Matt Millen did not understand the Sooners' game plan. [NewsOK]
Even the Fox broadcast crew was shocked at the Poke offense, or lack thereof. [NewsOK]
Is Mike Gundy great? [Cowboys Ride For Free]
Bob Stoops is not going to Florida. [NewsOK]
Mike Gundy to Florida? [NewsOK]
What do Land Thieves do when it snows? [OU Daily]
Kansas fans need to learn how to tear down a goalpost. [Deadspin]
9 exits on I-20 tells you everything you need to know about football in Texas. [ESPN]
Will Muschamp has been fired so an autopsy of his Gator career is in order. [247 Florida]
The DEA is interested in the NFL. [ESPN]
The NFL has a sweet deal when it comes to the concussion lawsuit settlement. [Vice Sports]
A college football player calls out ESPN on a stupid headline. [Awful Announcing]
FSU and Miami have classy fans. [The Big Lead]
Ryan MustardAT&T's Next Plan is actually a good deal if you're on their mobile share plan. It's a no-interest loan for a new phone and it works out to less money over the same 2 year period as the contract (you might need to have 10GB of data or more for that to be true).
$50 Bill Credit Offer: Ends 12/31/14. Must remain in active and in good standing on Next for 45 days to receive bill credit on your AT&T mobility bill within 3 bill cycles. Upgrades only. Requires iPhone to be purchased via AT&T NextSM and activated on a qualifying AT&T voice and data wireless service plan. Offer may not be combinable with other credits, discounts and offers. Offer and terms subject to change and may be discontinued at any time without notice.
Ryan MustardI don't know who Dan Frakes is, but wire cutter is the shit.
One of the best sites on the web just got better.
Ryan MustardEric and Amy. I think you guys will benefit from this immediately.
Spotify on Friday added a new feature that allows subscribers to use an iPhone or iPad as a remote control for playback on their Mac. The new feature is available for free as part of Spotify's $9.99 monthly premium subscription.We've just released a great new Premium feature, which lets you play Spotify through your computer, using your phone or tablet as a remote. Use the Spotify app to control the sound. It's brilliant if your laptop’s hooked up to your speakers. Or if you just don’t want to get off the couch.Using the new Connect for Computers feature is simple, according to Spotify's setup instructions. After downloading the latest version of the mobile and desktop app, subscribers only need to log in, tap the "Now Playing" bar and hit "Connect" to direct music from an iPhone or iPad to a computer and its connected speakers.
Google's Nest Learning Thermostat is one of the better smart home gadgets out there, but at $250 for something that is normally under 50 bucks, it's an expensive upgrade. According to CNET, Nest is going to remove this barrier to entry by taking a page out of the smartphone playbook: it's offering the thermostat for free with a two-year contract.
For now the program is only in Ireland, where a deal with Electric Ireland subsidizes the Nest device with an electricity contract. Ireland seems like an odd place to start, but Nest Chief Executive Tony Fadell says the company will "bring it out to hopefully many more countries."
Back in February of this year, Google bought Nest for 3.2 billion. Nest is run as a separate subsidiary, and so far we haven't heard much from the combined-but-not-combined group—it's been business as usual.
Ryan Mustard20 minutes long. Totally worth it. Get ready to feel feelings.
Mat Kirkby's short film, The Phone Call, won the Best Narrative Short prize at the Tribeca Film Festival and is rumored to be in the running for an Oscar nomination. It features a young woman who works in helpline call office (Oscar nominee Sally Hawkins) taking a call from a distraught man (Oscar winner Jim Broadbent). (via slate)
Update: The video has been taken down from Vimeo, so I've removed the embed. I think it was something about film festival eligibility?
Tags: crying at work Jim Broadbent Mat Kirkby Sally Hawkins videoRyan MustardHopefully everyone watches this mildly hysterical cartoon starring Mike Tyson. http://www.adultswim.com/videos/mike-tyson-mysteries/the-end/
Last year , Mike Tyson played the old-school boxing game named after him, purportedly for the first time. He beat Glass Joe in that effort. This time, he's facing a lot somebody tougher: himself.
Ryan MustardMan, Werner Herzog is cool as shit.
We the Economy is a series of 20 short videos that attempt to explain important economic concepts. For instance, acclaimed director Ramin Bahrani did a video about regulatory capture starring Werner Herzog, Patton Oswalt, and the Sherman Antitrust Act of 1890.
Anchorman director Adam McKay directed an animated My Little Pony-esque video about wealth distribution and income inequality featuring the voice talents of Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, and Sarah Silverman.
Paul Allen and Morgan Spurlock are behind the effort, with Bob Balaban, Steve James, Catherine Hardwicke, and Mary Harron directing some of the other videos. (via mr)
Tags: Amy Poehler economics Maya Rudolph Patton Oswalt Ramin Bahrani Sarah Silverman video Werner HerzogRyan MustardI've been wanting to watch Snowpiercer. Looks cool.
Ryan MustardYeah, but which century?
Kansas State coach Bill Snyder has resuscitated the moribund program not once, but twice, and contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t involve black magic.
In November of 1988, Kansas State hired Iowa Offensive Coordinator Bill Snyder as its new head coach. The Wildcats were sitting at 299 all-time wins. They had been searching for that elusive 300th win since beating Kansas 29-12 on October 18th, 1986. When Snyder took over, Kansas State was 0-26-1 since that last victory.
The program was in such a mess that in its 1989 pre-season edition, Sport illustrated suggested that Kansas State should just turn in their playbooks and concentrate on being a basketball school.
Twenty two plus seasons later Snyder is on the ballot for the College Football Hall of Fame. From 1989-2005 Snyder engineered the greatest turnaround of a program in college football history, retired, and then came back in 2009 to prove it wasn't a fluke.
Kansas State has been playing football for 119 seasons. Going into Saturday's game against Texas, Snyder is 183-91-1. In the seasons without Bill Snyder as their coach, Kansas State is 315-531-40 for a putrid .377 winning percentage.
Here are some other numbers.
* KSU has had 36 winning season in 119 years, Bill Snyder produced 16 of them. There have been ten seasons with 10 or more wins, Snyder has nine of them - the only other 10-win season for KSU was in 1910.
* Kansas State has played in only 17 bowl games in its history - Bill Snyder has coached them in 15 of them.
* Kansas State has finished ranked in the top 20 twelve times - all under Snyder.
* Against interstate rival Kansas, KSU is 41-65-5. Bill Snyder is 18-4 against the Jayhawks.
* KSU is 18-74-4 against OU. Snyder has 8 of the 18 wins (8-12). OU is the only Big 12 program with a winning record over Snyder.
All of this prompted former OU Coach Barry Switzer to call Snyder the Coach of the Century.
"He did the best coaching job that has been done in the century the first time," former Oklahoma coach Barry Switzer said. "People ask why he came back. He wanted to prove it wasn't luck. And he's doing it."
Discipline & Attention to Detail
Snyder won just once his first year at KSU, but he retired after the 2005 season with a 136-68-1 record, including 11 straight bowl seasons from 1993-2003. He built the program literally from the bottom up, tapping into a rich Junior College territory from Kansas to Texas, blending in transfers from other programs along with high school talent that was scrupulously scouted to fit his system.
Snyder liked the physical maturity of JC players, many of whom understood they were getting second chances at playing at the D-1 level and were willing to buy into the discipline and persistence that Snyder demanded of everyone.
Snyder spent hours building relationships with junior college coaches, and went after players from successful programs such as Hutchinson Community College in Kansas and Blinn JC in Texas. Michael Bishop had quarterbacked Blinn to back-to-back national championships before transferring to Kansas State, where he finished second in the Heisman Trophy voting in 1998.
Snyder's teams are known for avoiding self-destruction. They don't turn the ball over and they don't commit many penalties. He likes JC players and transfers because they tend to not make the mistakes younger players make in crunch time.
The lack of mistakes comes from a culture of discipline that is built into the program from the top down. Snyder has every practice timed to the minute - and he expects his assistants to have every meeting with their players be the same.
There are standing rules: no caps, no earrings in the football complex. If your meeting is at 10:30, be in your seat by 10:25. Snyder moves from group to group during practice. He carries a recorder with him and makes verbal notes that players know will be brought up later in meetings.
His attention to detail is legendary. When Kansas State was flying to Tokyo for a game, Snyder arranged for his team to sit on the side of the plane away from the sun. He has the same pre-game meal every time - chicken & spaghetti with two pats of butter.
He demands that travel from the hotel to the stadium be scheduled down to the minute. Rules for his staff include collared shirts and dress shoes to be worn at work, and everyone must be clean shaven. If they have been at the complex overnight, he has a supply of razor blades on hand for their use.
16 Goals for Success
When Bill Snyder stepped away from his post after the 2005 season, those close to him report that he did exactly what he said he would do. He spent more time with his family and grandchildren. He read voraciously. He dove into charity work. And he missed football.
The Ron Prince Era lasted exactly three years at Kansas State when Snyder was brought back. The core tenets remained the same for Snyder, bring in a blend of JC and high school players, instill discipline, demand hard work, and trust the results will follow.
This time Snyder had formalized his blueprint with a "16 Goals for Success," and he envisioned these goals being useful on and off the field.
The goals are expressed in such ideas as: Commitment, Unity, Self-Discipline, Consistency and Responsibility.
Snyder went about rebuilding the talent base the best way he knew how. Recruiting to Manhattan, Kansas is no picnic, but Snyder's demand for attention to detail pays off when you watch tape after tape of recruits and can evaluate players not high on the Rivals list who fit your system.
His 2014 class consisted of 18 high school players and 9 junior-college transfers. Rivals ranked the class 47th in the country, which was a helluva lot higher that the other classes he had signed since coming back. Those recruiting classes were ranked #85, #61, #99 and #112.
Since 2011 KSU is 34-11.
Take a look at the blend of this 2014 team. The roster includes players from 18 different states. There are 10 players who entered Kansas State as a walk-on who have started at least one game. Three of the team captains - OL B.J. Finney, DE Ryan Mueller and LB Jonathan Truman are original walk-ons with a combined total of 83 starts for the Wildcats.
Become proficient in the fundamentals. Don't make foolish mistakes. Protect the football. Punish the opponent at the point of attack. Basic aspects of the game that drive the Kansas State program.
Bill Snyder turned 75 earlier this month. His contract runs through the 2017 season, and he has given every indication he intends to honor that pact.
Kansas State has produced a series of short videos on Snyder's "16 Goals for Success."
You might want to watch them and then tune in Saturday Morning at 11:00 AM to see them put into action on the football field.
Ryan MustardPretty good.
Speaking of Kubrick, Ikea has a little fun for Halloween.
Ryan MustardI don't think I realized how significant it was that Texas went for the win with 22 seconds left. But, I dont think Mack would have done that.
After a week spent discussing the failures in the Cotton Bowl, the Texas special teams were finally special in a good way against Iowa State.
Entering a home contest against the Iowa State Cyclones that would either sink or buoy the bowl eligibility hopes of the Texas Longhorns, the Texas special teams were a prominent subject in almost every media availability.
Beat writers asked head coach Charlie Strong about the division of responsibilities among the coaches, asked players about the continued issues and which special teams units they participate in, and recapped all the struggles this season.
Those struggles include the key punt return late by UCLA, the blocked kick returned for a touchdown by Baylor, the fake punt that resulted in a big touchdown in the same game, the kickoff returned for a touchdown by Oklahoma, and a mindless personal foul on a fair catch by sophomore safety Adrian Colbert against the Sooners.
Strong said last week that the special teams needed to get better, including better effort by the coverage teams and return teams and better attention to detail.
For instance, the Texas head coach said that the keys were there for a middle return by Oklahoma's Alex Ross on the big play in the Cotton Bowl, but the unit as a whole didn't read them and two players fell down in the hole and didn't get back up in time to make a play.
After better effort across the board against Iowa State, Strong assessed the current state of Texas special teams on Monday.
"The punt team, it's all about the punter, and he did a great job of just putting the ball in the right place, and then Nick Rose stepped up and hit the two big field goals for us," said Strong. "But it's all about challenging and us sending a message to our special teams where we have to play better because we're not getting what we needed."
The big progress came from aforementioned junior place-kicker Nick Rose, who has struggled at times in his adjustment to the position -- he hadn't attempted a field goal in a collegiate game entering the season. But against Iowa State, he provided a major boost and earned Big 12 Special Teams Player of the Week for his efforts.
In the third quarter, Rose hit a 45-yard field goal to put Texas up 31-28. The kick was the longest of his career, but not as pressure-packed as his other attempt, the 21-yarder to seal the victory in regulation that was the first game-winning field goal for the Longhorns since Texas legend Justin Tucker nailed a 40-yard attempt against Texas A&M that still resonates to this day.
After suffering through two blocked kicks and several other poor attempts, Rose is now 7-of-11 on the season after making his last four. Texas still ranks tied for No. 90 nationally at 63.6 percent on kicks, but at least the Horns are now threatening to move into respectable territory nationally if Rose can continue improving and connecting on the attempts that should be high-percentage.
Where Rose continued his excellence this season was on kickoffs, sending eight of nine into the end zone, with the lone exception a squib kick that ended the game. In that area, he's been as good as he was through his first two seasons on the 40 Acres -- his touchback percentage of 77.1 ranks tied for first nationally, even though it seems that the coaches asked him to keep several kicks in play early in the season to test the kickoff coverage unit.
Based on that percentage, it would be fair to say that Rose possesses one of the best legs in the country, albeit one that he is still working to harness on field goal attempts.
Senior punter Will Russ has also come under criticism this season for some inconsistent efforts, including the punt against UCLA that allowed the long return in part because the ball was supposed to be kicked left, but ended up in the middle of the field.
In recent weeks, however, Russ has been much better, with the only real criticism recently a 63-yard punt that out-kicked his coverage against Iowa State, allowing Aaron Wimberly to return the kick 27 yards. The good news, though? Texas junior cornerback Duke Thomas erased the good field position with an interception that led to a Longhorns touchdown.
Overall, the efforts by Russ against the Cyclones were good enough to earn him National College Punter of the Week by the College Football Performance Awards after he averaged 50.7 yards per punt on six attempts. The 63-yard boot was the longest of his career and he also helped out the defense by pinning two kicks inside the iowa State 20-yard line.
On the season, Russ is now averaging 43.9 yards per kick, which ranks second in the conference and No. 29 nationally. More than a quarter of his 46 kicks have traveled more than 50 yards and 18 of them have landed inside the opposing 20-yard line.
On the punt return team, senior wide receiver Jaxon Shipley had a 15-yard effort to boost his 2014 average to 10.9 yards per attempt. It's not as strong as his average of 13.5 yards last year, but it is good enough to rank him No. 20 nationally this season.
Significant strides were almost made on kickoff return this week, aided by plenty of reps due to the poor defensive effort. Freshman wide receiver Roderick Bernard has been back there for two weeks now and appeared to be getting closer to breaking a long return.
Unfortunately, some of his own players were getting in his way.
"I hope it can last more than one week, but what we did is our guys try to follow him to go back to block," Strong said on Monday. "I said, just get out of his way and he runs in there, and if he gets out of his way, he's still the safety, and I know this, he's going to make that kicker miss, and there's no telling how far he's going to run. But he's such an explosive runner."
In terms of pure track speed, Bernard struggled to run the 100m in less than 11 seconds in high school, but he did claim a 4.2 40-yard dash and has better short-area quickness than long speed.
The Sharpstown product who is the first member of his family to attend college only averaged 19 yards per return against Iowa State and is sitting at only 18 yards per return on his eight overall attempts. However, his 26-yard effort on the final kickoff return of the game was crucial to the final outcome.
In fact, Strong had been ready to head to overtime.
"I said let's see where the ball ends up," the Texas head coach said. "I was going to go into overtime. I was going to say take a knee to overtime, because I didn't think they could stop us on offense, but once we ended up where we did with the kick-off return. I said, let's take a shot."
The rest, as they say, is history.
If the Texas kickoff return unit can start blocking better or merely get out of Bernard's way, he could break a long return at some point this season, which has been a rarity for the Longhorns over the last two years.
So in a week after all the units came under intense scrutiny for all the previous mistakes, the team responded with much better play.
Now, as Strong said, the hope is that it can last more than one week.
Ryan MustardI briefly went into this yesterday. Doesn't seem like something I'd use all the time, but it's definitely impressive.
Shadow of Mordor gave its players some nifty new ways to capture and edit screenshots yesterday . Judging by the wealth of snazzy images that have popped up online since then, gamers seem to be having a lot of fun with it so far. Here are some of the best I've come across. Enjoy.
Ryan MustardI think pre season projections are pretty arbitrary, but I am super excited to watch Texas basketball based on the fun times watching the team last year.
In a season preview from Big 12 media day, Campus Insiders makes the case for Texas as the top team in the Big 12 and a legit Final Four contender, but which big weakness could really hurt the team?
Ryan MustardI just noticed that this guy (Tony Szhou) gets support for Every Frame a Painting through Patreon. You can pledge 1 or more dollars per video and cap it per month. I really like that model.
In drama, two characters walk into a room. Each wants something from the other. The question of the scene is: who gets what they want?
This is a short little freebie and a thank you to everyone watching the channel. Enjoy.
For educational purposes only.
You can support the channel at http://www.patreon.com/everyframeapai…
And you can follow me at http://www.twitter.com/tonyszhou
Ryan MustardPretty sure I've exhibited every one of these.
The controller thrower guy above in Dorkly's recent comic is not even the most frustrated one. The silent types below look a lot scarier.
Ryan MustardShared for "Ceci N’est Pa Une French Saison"
Public Swimming Pool Porter
Old Laundry Barleywine
Cookies and Creamator Lactose Doppelbock
It’s Kind of a Belgian I Guess
Murky Waters American Amber
Ceci N’est Pa Une French Saison
Butter and Cabbage ESB
Fuzzy Mouthfeel Peach Lambic
Stool Sample Irish Stout
My Buddy Troy’s Dad Grows Some Kind of Hops Pale
What Is That—Cleaner? Weizen
English Enigma Brown Something-or-other
Actually Pretty Passable Pilsner
Triton’s Taint Triple IPA
Ryan MustardThat True Lies GIF.
"Dear Darla, I hate your stinkin' guts. You make me vomit. You're the scum between my toes. Love, Alfalfa"
As you are no doubt aware, this week is about hate. The kind of hate that makes an otherwise respectable grown man turn into a spittin', swearin', petulant man-child. No I am not talking about Longhorn "kicker" Nick Rose, I am talking about the no good, yellow-bellied, vermin who invade Dallas this time of year like cockroaches in a South Texas Motel (not that OU needs a motel when they can park a third of Norman's real estate in Lot C).
No point in beating around with a switch. Let's get this party started.
Dear OU,
First things first - your entire school is built from the ground up on the concept of stealing things. You took the Yale fight song, ravaged it through the least creative rewrite in music history, then made your band beat it into the ground ad nauseam, just like you did to the native population of your state. Yeah I went there. A few scholarships and a statue or two doesn't erase that kind of history. Especially when your mascot is named for people who illegally stole land (Sooners) and killed Native Americans (Boomers) to get it. That's only a few degrees of national ignorance away from Washington Redskins territory.
Speaking of territory - Texas Football might be a bit of a dumpster fire at the moment, but your state has been fulfilling the role of national receptacle since it's inception. People voluntary came to Texas on wagons emblazoned with "GTT." Some even laid down their lives to preserve the mere idea of Texas (you know the place - we named a bowl game after it). People were FORCED to move to Oklahoma.
The Oklahoma state flag is all kinds of awful. Graphic designers have been killed over less. Protip - if you have to put the state name on your flag you are doing it wrong. I could put the Texas flag here for comparison, but I don't need to. You know exactly what it looks like. We put it on everything. It is awesome.
("I dunno JimBob. Just put some stolen Indian stuff on there and a cookie. I like cookies")
The flag is awful, but surely you guys came up with a better tagline? Nope. For years your official state license plate said "Oklahoma is OK." Nevermind--I take it back. Most accurate description ever.
You don't even like yourselves enough to build your own traditions. To this day, every third OU shirt is a straight up reference to why UT sucks. You throw "horns down" when playing Baylor. Sure, A&M comes across as a little cultish at times, but at least they had the decency to be creative about it.
Did you know that every shirt you purchase with the upside down Longhorn sends a nice fat royalty check to Austin? There's a guy somewhere whose entire job is reversing the machinery at the NCAA metal decal factory so that it packages the car magnets upside down so you idiots will buy them.
Let's talk a little about weaponry. We'll set aside the whole "shooting the natives" issue aside for a moment and just talk about firepower. I'm beginning to see why we do this game in Dallas every year, because a state fair has got to be the only place a Ruf/Nek* can find that kind of weaponry. I believe I got something similar when I was a young lad and it shot marshmallows a lot farther than than those "Boomsticks" ever will. If you want some real stopping power, I'll be happy to hand the mic over to my associate Mr. McCoy.
*Let's take a minute to really delve into this group of heros. Ruf/Nek is presumably the word roughneck, but stylized and misspelled as white-trashy as possible. Assuming the misspelling was intentional, what the hell is with the capitalization and slash in the middle? Ruf or Nek? Ruf divided by neck? Were they trying to build their DarrenRovellBrandTM by also making it an applicable name for a 90s meth/house DJ? Please follow the link to their student page for gems such as "As RUF/NEKS, we pledge to continue the traditions of the University of Oklahoma and the traditions of our club. This sections explains some of our traditions and the reasons behind them. You can click on the names of the traditions to see a picture."
And don't get me started on your beer laws. Having to drink twice as much for the same buzz hasn't been doing anything for your waistlines.
Of course your school would be best known academically for a profession that is about as accurate as tea leaf readings when you get more than 7 days out. That's about as good of a forecast record as The Pregamer. Where's our scholarship? Where's our cushycar dealership job?
The most well known resident of your state is a guy who is famous for commenting on men pounding each other in their underwear and literally kissing his boss' ass. While UT football players have gone on to successful careers in real estate, investment banking and other respectable ventures, OU has produced...professional wrestlers.
CASE McCoy beat you. We don't even need a paragraph for that one.
The Oklahoma City Thunder are definitely the best thing that ever happened to your sorry state--and even that required the help of a Longhorn (and it's own share of thievery). Try not to get too excited if you see KD walking the sidelines this week. He's not cheering for your team. He was never on THAT team. Make sure you enjoy his services while you can guys, ‘cause NOBODY in the NBA is coming in free agency to your little piece of nowhere if they have any options. Not when they can sign somewhere with no income tax, a beach, or an international airport (Will Rogers "World" Airport, LOLZ).
There's a good chance we are going to lose on Saturday. It's the worst. But at the end of the day we get to head back to Austin (that town you'll make fun of right up till the moment of graduation, then will litter its collective inboxes with resumes). Even with the W, y'all have to cross the border and back into obscurity.
So here's to you Oklahoma. Even at your best you're the Chachi on Happy Days. Joe Pesci in Goodfellas. The Arlington of the DFW metropolitan area. Go screw yourself.
Sincerely and Hook ‘Em,
Texas
For the first time ever, this BKaR section is life-and-death important. You truly better know these guys; especially you ladies.
Both of these players are still currently on the roster, redshirting for 2014, and will bolster OU's title hopes in 2015. Charlie Strong would've kicked each of them off the team. Twice.
(This portion isn't very funny. Especially considering what we usually write about. But it didn't seem right to make jokes about these two or ignore them. We promise the rest is much more amusing.)
TejasChaos: I once watched a group of drunk Sooners, upset they were getting throttled by RichRod's Mountaineers, attempt to drown their sorrows by singing karaoke with a jukebox in the corner of the bar. They pick, played, and sang along to Country Road TWICE before they realized what they were doing (you'd think "West Virginia, Mountain Momma" would have clued them in). As long as Sooners are out there being Sooners, we got a chance.
Texas 10-7. Oh who are we kidding? We can't hit a field goal. Texas 14-10.
KyleCarpenter: Texas playing spoiler again, up 24-20 with 11 seconds remaining. Sooners have the ball near midfield. Quad receivers to the right, Hail Mary imminent. Trevor Knight drops back, breaks an arm tackle, and scrambles away to the left with no one on that entire half of the field. Knight to the 30, 25, 20, 15... and then, like a game of NFL Blitz, Trevor Knight inexplicably fumbles the ball out of bounds as time expires.
Sam Bradford sheds a single tear.
Via the fine folks at Shaggy Bevo
Ryan MustardPretty funny.
Once you hit level 24 in Destiny it's pretty much a grind to grab the best legendaries and exotics, and then a grind to level them up to max capacity to slowly churn through the levels up to 30.
