Patrick Kennedy

Hypothesis: "Where's my fucking iPad prop? I need m...Just give me some fucking paper or something! Wait, not that, oh for FUCK'S SAgood morning and welcome to BBC News."

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As reported by Canada’s CTV and confirmed by a post on the band’s website, Tragically Hip frontman Gord Downie has died. Downie had been diagnosed with glioblastoma—a terminal brain cancer—last year, with the band embarking on one final tour shortly after that. Downie was 53.

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My Swedish-born (former Rubik's Cube champion) pal Lars Petrus has created a Swedish-to-English IKEA product name dictionary.

He writes:

Part of what makes IKEA unique is their product names. Each name means something, often in a funny or ambigious way. When IKEA went international, they decided to use the same Swedish names everywhere. This makes sense from an organizational sanity standpoint, but it deprives most of the world of this particular joy.

It's not complete nor current but it still is a lot of fun!

(Lifehacker)

Previously: IKEA now has furniture for cats and dogs

For a NY Times piece on cancelled weddings, Jessica Hische created these anti-invitations in the style of fancy wedding invites.

My thoughts immediately went to fancy wedding stationery, and I had a lot of fun both writing and designing these fake anti-invitations. I tried to poke fun at some of the current trends in wedding stationery design, which meant I got to have fun playing with watercolors!

Contrary to Jeff Session's alternative fact that pot is a gateway to hard drugs, a study reveals that Colorado has had a drop in opioid deaths since it legalized marijuana for recreational use in 2014.

From Reason:

Since legal recreational marijuana sales began in Colorado in January 2014, the state has seen a 6 percent drop in opioid deaths, according to research published in the American Journal of Public Health. The drop follows 14 years of rising opioid deaths, going back to the first year for which the esearchers had data.

That suggests yet another argument for marijuana legalization: Pot might stem and even reverse some of the trends unleashed by America's decades-long drug war.

...

A [different] 2014 study found that from 1999 to 2010, states that had medical cannabis laws had a nearly 25 percent lower "mean annual opioid overdose mortality rate" than states that prohibited medical cannabis.

"Because chronic pain is a major indication for medical cannabis," those researchers wrote, "laws that establish access to medical cannabis may change overdose mortality related to opioid analgesics in states that have enacted them."

2015 gave us the wonderful kinetic LEGO sculpture of the tragic Greek mythological character Sisyphus perpetually pushing a boulder.

When creator Jason Allemann of JKBrickworks saw fellow LEGO artist Josh David's lawn mower kinetic sculpture, he knew he had to make one of his own &mdashl; but with a twist.

Building on his original idea, Allemann swapped out Sisyphus for his modern-day counterpart -- a suburban man in shorts and knee socks -- and replaced the fate of eternally pushing a boulder with mowing an ever-growing lawn.

(Sploid)

Though Puerto Rican law prohibits ownership and bearing of most long-guns and especially semiautomatic weapons, the streets of the stricken US colony now throng with mercenaries in tactical gear bearing such arms, their faces masked. They wear no insignia or nametags and won't say who they work for, apart from vague statements in broken Spanish: "We work with the government. It’s a humanitarian mission, we’re helping Puerto Rico." (more…)

many text-based things
written using a predictive text keyboard, by many people at BOTNIK
source: wikipedia, advertising copy, romance novel blurbs
graphics by natalie peeples and mike frederickson

BOTNIK is a machine-human writing collective
main feed: botnik.org
twitter: twitter.com/botnikstudios
join our writing community via this slack invite link [temporary link for october 2017]

Sometimes, life pushes even the most boring or predictable of people too far. The results of these sudden snaps can be dangerous and hard to see coming; maybe they start an international drug empire as part of an ultimately futile effort to defy the natural order and take some control back of their own lives. Maybe…

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UNESCO is about as good as it gets in the world of UN Specialized Agencies, responsible for designating and protecting world heritage sites, running literacy for the poorest people on Earth, supporting potable water programs, protecting fragile and endangered ecosystems, running disaster preparedness plans for all to use, protecting indigenous knowledge, protecting the free press, and digitizing the world's libraries. (more…)

Pro Football Hall of Famer and former ESPN analyst Mike Ditka dove again into the NFL protest controversy last night in an interview with Jim Gray on Westwood One Radio, saying that players kneeling during the national anthem need to “go to another country and play football” because he “doesn’t know what social…

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Lest you thought that maybe Donald “I love Hispanics!” Trump got slapped by an angel while throwing paper towels at the people of Puerto Rico earlier this week, today Trump once again demonstrated his utter contempt for the Latinx community—at an event celebrating National Hispanic Heritage Month.

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Jeremy Nguyen imagines a set of achievement stickers (or perhaps merit badges) for people who freelance or otherwise work from home and need a fun way to mark their accomplishments.

The struggle is real. Today, I earned the “put on pants” and “went outside” stickers but sadly not the “talked to someone in person” one. Will try to do better tomorrow.

President Donald Trump is scheduled to complete what will amount to a toe touch on the hurricane-ravaged island of Puerto Rico on Tuesday. According to the itinerary posted by the White House, Trump is expected to spend a whopping five hours in Puerto Rico. In fact, he’ll only be spending some 35 minutes with victims…

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Eleven years after amicably splitting, downbeat indie rock band Pedro The Lion is getting back together, with frontman (and prolific solo artist) David Bazan announcing the news today. This incarnation of the band—which always had a rotating roster built around Bazan—will feature returning bassist Jonathan Ford, as…

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With one of his state’s most well-known universities once again embroiled in a national recruiting scandal, Kentucky governor Matt Bevin took time in an interview with radio station WKYX to address Louisville’s latest missteps and, opposed to his hollow, bullshit statements on gun control, addressed the problem in an…

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The object of this retro arcade game, called Thoughts and Prayers is to send and many thoughts and prayers as you can in order to stop mass shootings before the timer runs out. Play it it and post your score in the comments.

Just over a year ago, Yahoo admitted that it had been hacked in 2013, and estimated that 500 million accounts had been compromised (the company blamed state-sponsored actors, and federal prosecutors have indicted two Russian spies for ordering the operation). Now the company has admitted that all three billion of its accounts were affected. (more…)

The FDA is finally putting a stop to food companies trying to tempt customers who can’t distinguish baking ingredients from symbolic forms of affection. Officials from the US Food and Drug Administration sent a letter to the owners of Nashoba Brook Bakery warning them the company was violating label regulations by listing “love” as an ingredient in its granola, according to Bloomberg News.

"Love" is not a common or usual name of an ingredient, and is considered to be intervening material because it is not part of the common or usual name of the ingredient,” the FDA wrote in the letter.

John Gates, CEO of Nashoba Brook Bakery, said the FDA’s warning about the granola “ingredient” was “silly.”

“I really like that we list ‘love’ in the granola,” Gates said in a telephone interview with Bloomberg News Tuesday. “People ask us what makes it so good. It’s kind of nice that this artisan bakery can say there’s love in it and it puts a smile on people’s face. Situations like that where the government is telling you you can’t list ‘love’ as an ingredient, because it might be deceptive, just feels so silly.”

The letter also warned food products were “prepared, packed, or held under insanitary conditions whereby they may have become contaminated with filth, or whereby they may have been rendered injurious to health.”

“Some of FDA’s observations, particularly on some of the sanitation issues, were helpful,” Gates said.

Image: pxhere

In the race-to-the-bottom rhetoric of much internet humor, you don’t need a setup or a punchline, you just need a meme, the easier and dumber the better. Rickrolls and “All-Star” and Bee Movie are their own fully structured jokes, and the less funny their context, the better. They are designed to be infuriating.

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A week after President Trump galvanized the entire NFL against him following remarks about how owners should fire any “son of a bitch” who protested the national anthem and somehow made commissioner Roger Goodell—Roger fucking Goodell—into the good guy, he’s returned to that well, because his strength is rambling…

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A dead body sat in a pickup truck for eight months in a parking lot at the Kansas City International Airport before someone discovered it. 53-year-old Randy Potter disappeared January 17, and had parked at the airport that same day. When his family contacted the airport police to report their missing relative and to see if his truck was still in the parking lot, the police said if it was, they would find it. Astonishingly, they somehow missed it.

It wasn't until someone reported a bad odor that the body was spotted inside the truck. Apparently, according to police, Potter had committed suicide, but no other details were released.

According to Time:

The truck's windows are tinted, but are light enough to allow anyone to see inside. When an airport police officer found the body, it was covered up by a blanket, according to a police report. "No one should go through what we went through," said Potter's wife, Carolina. "We should not have gone through eight months agonizing, speculating."

Potter's truck had been listed in the missing person flyers circulated by Lenexa police. The family had visited the airport early on.

Kansas City spokesman Chris Hernandez said city officials were gathering facts to determine how Potter's body remained in the lot as long as it did. The economy lot where Potter's body was found is one of three lots situated about 2 ½ miles (4 kilometers) north of the airport terminals. Shuttles carry travelers from the lot to the terminals.

The airport has over 25,000 parking spaces, and clearly needs a better way of managing them.

Image: Dean Hochman

For the last 18 years, French chef Sébastien Bras' restaurant, Le Suquet, has received 3 Michelin stars. Now the chef wants to part ways with Michelin. He's tired of the pressure that the rating puts on him and is begging Michelin to release him from the stars.

While Michelin has called his food "spellbinding," the anxiety of having anonymous judges come into his restaurant at any given time is too much for the 46-year-old chef.

According to The Guardian:

He said his job had given him a lot of satisfaction but there was also huge pressure that was inevitably linked to the three Michelin stars first given to the restaurant in 1999. He asked to be allowed to continue his work with a free spirit and in serenity away from the world of rankings, without tension. He said he wanted to be dropped from the guide from next year.

Bras, who took over the family restaurant from his parents 10 years ago, later explained to AFP: “You’re inspected two or three times a year, you never know when. Every meal that goes out could be inspected. That means that, every day, one of the 500 meals that leaves the kitchen could be judged.

“Maybe I will be less famous but I accept that,” he said, adding that he would continue to cook excellent local produce “without wondering whether my creations will appeal to Michelin’s inspectors”.

Michelin says Bra's reason and method of asking to have his stars stripped is a first. Although they respect his plead, his stars won't automatically be stripped – they are in the process of considering his request.

Here is Bras on Facebook asking Michelin to keep him out of the guide, in French:

Yours for $695, though sold out at the moment, are the Natasha Zinko High Waist Double Jeans.

Layered waistbands give these wide-leg Natasha Zinko jeans a modern high-low profile. Contrast side stripes. 7 pockets. Button closure and zip fly at each waist panel. Raw hem.

Via:

https://twitter.com/lbennett/status/908422113563987974

Oh gosh, parenthood is so hard sometimes. I'm a mom to a nearly-teen daughter and I teach her that she should do the right thing as much as humanly possible. This often mean explaining why I can do certain things as an adult that she shouldn't do as a child.

I'm pro-cannabis all the way. I've worked in the industry, have a current medical card, and am publicly vocal about it. I don't, however, want my kid using it until she's older and her brain is finished developing. So, I don't use in front of her. That's my line. We've definitely had some interesting conversations about the subject though.

That's why this video by the Cut caught my eye. It features several parents telling their children that they use cannabis. The kid's reactions range from curious to downright judgmental.

The world certainly is changing, isn't it? A video like this couldn't have existed even just a few years ago.

A recurring outrage theme on the internet is hard-working restaurant servers whose "tips" turn out to be fake US currency printed with Bible verses, bearing the reassurance that these are "more valuable than money." (more…)

Attendees at a silent candlelight vigil in honor of Prabagaran Srivijayan -- a Mayasian migrant worker who was executed for drug trafficking on July 14 -- have been notified that they are the subjects of a police investigation. (more…)

Alarming news from the north.

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Amateur photographer Kristi McCluer took what will probably be one of the most iconic photos of 2017 of the wildfires in the Pacific Northwest.

“I don’t golf at all,” Kristi McCluer said over the phone on Thursday morning. Instead, she said, “I have spent a great part of my life in the Columbia River Gorge, hiking.”

So when the Eagle Creek fire began, she decided she needed to see it for herself.

“I was actually going to drive up to the Bridge of the Gods,” McCluer said. But she saw a parking lot and decided to pull in. After being told she couldn’t park there because it was actually a road, she found a real parking lot that was nearly empty.

“Around the corner was this golf course,” she said, “and you could see the fire.”

So she started snapping pictures.

I was amazed to discover that it wasn’t Photoshopped. For a similar metaphorical punch, see also Theunis Wessels mowing his lawn in Alberta, Canada while a tornado spins in the background (photo by Cecilia Wessels).

2017: this is fine. (via @mccanner)

After much discussion about the relative pros and cons of the strategy, Premier League teams have reached an agreement today that, starting next year, the league’s summer transfer window will close the day before the season starts.

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