Philip.paulsson
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Earth to cross 1°C warming marker this year for the first time

Warm ocean water is speeding the loss of ice from Greenland's glaciers. (credit: NASA/NordForsk)
The planet continues to set global temperature records and not in a good way. According to the United Kingdom’s Met Office, the Earth’s surface temperature will reach 1°C above pre-industrial levels this year for the first time.
The Met Office’s Hadley Center for Climate Science, in conjunction with the University of East Anglia’s Climatic Research Unit, based its estimate on temperatures from January through September, which show the global mean surface temperature at 1.02°C above pre-industrial levels. The margin of error for this temperature measurement is 0.11°C.
The peak in global temperatures this year is being partially driven by the development of a very strong El Niño in the Tropical Pacific Ocean. Human activity, however, remains the underlying driver according to scientists. "We've had similar natural events in the past, yet this is the first time we're set to reach the 1°C marker and it's clear that it is human influence driving our modern climate into uncharted territory," said Stephen Belcher, Director of the Met Office Hadley Center.
Hey Parents: BuzzFeed Has A Newsletter For You!
Philip.paulssonLOL Buzzfeed is maybe the last place I'd go looking for parenting advice...
Being a parent is tough — but the BuzzFeed Parents newsletter will make it a little bit easier.
Want a little help figuring this parenting thing out?

Whether you're looking for advice or just a laugh, the BuzzFeed Parents newsletter has you covered. When you sign up, you'll get great parenting posts twice a week: Real talk about what it's like to become a parent. Brilliant tips that will make every day easier. DIY projects and recipes your kids will love, and inspired activities to keep them busy. Hilarious proof that it's OK not to have all the answers, heartwarming reminders of how wonderful kids really are, and much more!
Enter your email address to sign up now!
$635 poop pills cure deadly gastrointestinal infection
Philip.paulssonPoop pill!

(credit: Ana C./ Flickr)
The country’s first stool bank, OpenBiome, is now selling capsules of fecal matter to treat life-threatening Clostridium difficile, or C. diff, infections.
The $635 pill-based therapy, a type of fecal transplant, is highly effective against the difficult-to-treat gastrointestinal infection, according to results of a pilot study. A single dose, which includes a whopping 30 pills, cured 70 percent of patients. A second dose bumped the success rate up to 94 percent. The treatment, currently being sold only to doctors, may offer an easier alternative to other effective fecal transplant routes, namely colonoscopies, nasal tubes, and enemas.
Scientists have known for years that fecal transplants in general are highly effective against C. diff infections, which can be extremely difficult to cure. The infection can cause severe, recurring diarrhea. It can be resistant to antibiotic treatments, and sometimes it turns deadly. In the US, C. diff causes more than 450,000 infections a year, leading to about 15,000 deaths.
Clip-On Man Buns Are Here And They Absolutely Must Be Stopped
Philip.paulssonLOL
When April Fool’s jokes go too far.
Clip-on man buns are currently being advertised on Groupon for $9.99.

And they look like this.

The advert – which features some delightful photoshopping, as you can see – reads: "One of the hottest trends in men’s fashion, the man bun has been popularized by fixed-gear bicyclists and introspective Hollywood actors alike."

It continues by saying that "although the hairstyle oozes with fashion sense, those who sport it might find themselves outcasts in sports bars, motorcycle gangs, and the annual government-mandated machismo test."
So that's why it's important that the man bun is detachable – it "lets you blend in with your surroundings, putting it on when you smell fair-trade coffee or hear a banjo, and taking it off when someone utters the word bro."
It's fair to say this advert doesn't take itself entirely seriously. Here is the advice section on "how to wear it":
- Comb your hair back toward the crown of your head, in a similar motion to lacquering a reclaimed-wood coffee table
- Attach the man bun to your natural hair the way the lay public attached itself to Arcade Fire
- Use bobby pins to secure the man bun, decide bobby pins are too mainstream, use antique paper clips instead
This Drone Video Of Montreal In The Fall Will Make You Feel Things
Philip.paulssonAwwww, I miss Montreal..
Look at those colours!
This drone video shot in Montreal will give you a whole new perspective of the city. Behold Mont-Royal in all its colourful fall glory.
The video was made by Florent Conti, a Toronto-based filmmaker who's also big into drones. When his passions intersect, he makes some truly beautiful stuff.

Conti told Buzzfeed Canada he shot the footage over an hour while visiting Montreal recently. "I was very excited about finally being able to share shots of this city that I love and where I am originally from," he said.
Florent Conti / Via youtube.com
Conti said he only started droning with his quadcopter in the last couple months, but he's already hooked.

Florent Conti / Via youtube.com
Here's another video Conti made recently, this one featuring aerial views of Casa Loma and the Toronto skyline.
"I can't wait to spend more time travelling around and filming with my drone because there are so many amazing places in Canada that have yet to be explored by drone," Conti said.
He's also interested in incorporating more aerial footage in his documentaries and other film projects.
You can follow Florent Conti's work on YouTube, Twitter, and Instagram.
Disney and Lucasfilm Grant Star Wars Fan’s Dying Wish, Screen ‘The Force Awakens’ for Him at Home
Philip.paulssonHe better die before Dec 22nd now...
11/5/2015 — UPDATE:
Daniel Fleetwood, the terminally ill Star Wars fan, has seen “The Force Awakens” ahead of its December 22 release date. According to a post by Fleetwood’s wife to Facebook, Disney and Lucasfilm screened an unedited cut of the film for him at his Texas home. J.J. Abrams apparently phoned to let them know it was happening. A petition to screen the film for Fleetwood went viral earlier this week under the hashtag #forcefordaniel with “Force Awakens” cast members lending their support. Continue reading for our original coverage.
Daniel Fleetwood, 32, of Spring, Texas has terminal cancer. He’s also a huge Star Wars fan. A campaign is underway to screen the latest entry in the saga, “The Force Awakens”, for Fleetwood before time runs out.
Some of the cast from the film have lent their support to the effort, retweeting this call to action:
A dying man’s wish to see #StarWars The Force Awakens Help spread the word : #ForceForDanielhttps://t.co/0tA3ET3DdHpic.twitter.com/zbWM7VhvGK
— Nerd Fu (@TheNerdFu) October 30, 2015
Mark Hamill, John Boyega, Gwendoline Christie, and Carrie Fisher have retweeted along with the official Star Wars Twitter handle and the one for J.J. Abrams’ production company, Bad Robot. The hashtag #Forcefordaniel continues to trend on Twitter. Daisy Ridley also posted this to Instagram:
Fleetwood’s wife, Ashley, has been active on social media as part of the drive to screen the film.
#forcefordaniel help my man get his last wish, to see a screening of Star Wars before cancer takes him. @bad_robot pic.twitter.com/XCuYD0KlpY — Ashley Fleetwood (@pandorashley) October 29, 2015
If history is any indicator, Fleetwood may just get his wish. Abrams once screened “Star Trek Into Darkness” for a terminally ill Star Trek fan named Daniel Craft. Craft passed away days after seeing the movie. Colby Curtin, a ten-year-old sufferer of vascular cancer, is another wishful movie fan. She wanted to see the movie “Up” before its release and a Disney employee arrived at her bedside with a copy on DVD. She passed away the next day.
“Judging by how progressive the disease has gotten in the past two months, I really don’t think that I’ll be able to make it,” Fleetwood told Houston’s KPRC-TV in an interview. Watch the whole segment below:
Related
Doctors breach the blood-brain barrier for the first time
Philip.paulssonWow, this is exciting news!
Our blood-brain barrier is a highly selective membrane specially designed to only allow very specific molecules access to our grey matter while keeping everything else out -- regardless of whether they're invading foreign bodies or potentially life...
Crypto e-mail service pays $6,000 ransom, gets taken out by DDoS anyway
Philip.paulssonWell, the guys doing the attacking just screwed themselves.

(credit: Quinn Dombrowski)
A provider of end-to-end encrypted e-mail said it paid a ransom of almost $6,000 to stop highly advanced denial-of-service attacks that knocked its networks, and the networks of some of its upstream providers, offline.
In a blog post published Thursday, officials of Switzerland-based ProtonMail said they "grudgingly agreed" to pay 15 bitcoins, which at current valuations came to about $5,850, to the attackers in exchange for them halting the assault. Even after paying the sum, however, crippling attacks continued, although at the time the blog post was being written, they had subsided. The ransom payment is generating protest from critics who say it will only encourage more attacks. ProtonMail officials wrote:
We hoped that by paying, we could spare the other companies impacted by the attack against us, but the attacks continued nevertheless. Attacks against infrastructure continued throughout the evening and in order to keep other customers online, our ISP was forced to stop announcing our IP range, effectively taking us offline. The attack disrupted traffic across the ISP’s entire network and got so serious that the criminals who extorted us previously even found it necessary to write us to deny responsibility for the second attack.
The campaign began shortly after midnight on Tuesday, when ProtonMail received an extortion e-mail from a group of criminals said to be responsible for a string of DDoS attacks across Switzerland over the past few weeks. The message was soon followed by a distributed denial-of-service attack that lasted for about 15 minutes. The attack resumed at 11am the same day and was already showing "an unprecedented level of sophistication." By 2pm, the flood of junk traffic reached volumes of 100 gigabits per second and began targeting ProtonMail's datacenter and upstream providers, including routers in Zurich, Frankfurt, and other locations where the ISP has nodes.
10 Gin Cocktails With 4 Ingredients Or Fewer
Philip.paulssonMmmm...gin.
Everyone has a gin story. Yours is about to get better.
Since we're gin people, it only makes sense to test the best and brightest gin cocktails. See below for your one stop shop to gin happiness. If you didn't already know, it's the best kind of happy.
Tom Collins

All of these ingredients are attainable. No excuses now. Get the recipe.
Mark Weinberg/Food52 / Via food52.com
The Negroni

This is a time when mixing two of your favorite alcohols is a good idea. Get the recipe.
Mark Weinberg/Food52 / Via food52.com
Martinez

This will have you feeling warm, real warm. Get the recipe.
James Ransom/Food52 / Via food52.com
Quendolin says FML
Philip.paulssonLOL totally doing this next time I'm at a grocery store.
Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML
Bob Ross coming back to Twitch with weekly broadcasts and annual marathons
Philip.paulssonGamers are weird.
Twitch's recent marathon of 403 episodes of the charming PBS show The Joy of Painting introduced a new generation to Bob Ross and his painting technique, capturing our hearts. Over its week-long broadcast, Twitch recorded more than 5.6 million unique viewers and 3.8 million uses of its new KappaRoss emote. The final episode was seen by more than 180,000 people, making it far and away the most popular stream on Friday night when it was shown, leading to widespread calls to "#keepbob."
After the stream ended, instead of going dead, it showed a mysterious countdown with just under three days on the clock. That countdown expires at 6pm Eastern/3pm Pacific, and we now know what it's counting down to. Those hoping to #keepbob are getting their wish.
Starting today, Twitch will show one season of The Joy of Painting a week at 6pm Eastern every Monday. Each season will run as a six and a half hour mini-marathon, performing the full cycle over 31 seasons every seven months or so.
PSY is finally getting the monument he deserves in Seoul
Philip.paulssonLOL
PSY's "Gangnam Style" is so recognizable, the second it starts to play people know what to do. To commemorate the the track that broke YouTube's view counter, the Gangnam District Office announced that it will be erecting a statue in PSY's honor be...
14 People Who Accidentally Cockblocked Themselves
Philip.paulssonI feel like I probably have done very similar things and *still* haven't realized it.
“Took a girl to the movies. She says, ‘I haven’t had sex in months,’ I say, ‘Neither have I,’ and we left it at that.”
This person, who forgot to get an address.

Thinkstock
This person, who wasn't the smoothest teenager.

Massonstock / Getty Images
This person, who went with the classic method.

Gpointstudio / Getty Images
This person, whose musical tastes crowned them "King of the Morons."

Ibrakovic / Getty Images
I didn't listen to a pair of $55,000 headphones
Philip.paulssonHahahahaha they brought a guy in to listen to their fancy schmancy $55k headphones, and the things didn't even work!!
I was supposed to try out Sennheiser's new Orpheus headphones yesterday. Priced at $55,000 and a decade in the making, they're a reimagining of the company's 1990 model of the same name. But just as I put their opulent band over my head, before eve...
9 Butt Plugs That Dared To Dream Big
Philip.paulssonHahahah!
The anal canal’s the limit, apparently.
This one of Donald Trump.

Via shapeways.com
And Vladimir Putin.

Via shapeways.com
And Kim Jong-il.

And that Duck Dynasty person.

Anonymous posts the names of people it believes are KKK members
Philip.paulssonNice.
Online activist group Anonymous has followed through on its promise to divulge the names of people it believes are involved in the Ku Klux Klan. On November 2nd, Anonymous outlined its plan to release about 1,000 names, with a chosen date of Novemb...
Quadruped Robot Sets Guinness World Record With 83 Mile Walk
Philip.paulssonI like that it has a moustache.
You can close this video in 5 seconds.
 
We've seen robots that can run, jump, do both at the same time, stay upright when pushed, and even birth smaller robots. But now it seems they really are just steps away from world domination. A team in China recently set the Guinness World Record for the longest walk by a quadruped robot, with a distance of 83.28 miles.
The team, led by Professor Li Qingdu at Chongqing University of Posts and Telecommunications' College of Automation, built the robot (Xingzhe No. 1) with four articulated legs and a box for a body containing the circuitry and mechanical components. According to Guinness World Records, the idea was to "study electrical efficiency, increase the length a robot can trek, its reliability, durability, and ability to perform remotely-controlled missions in situations that would be dangerous for humans."
Xingzhe in Chinese means "walker," so the little guy is definitely living up to his name. The record-setting 1405-lap journey took place on an indoor track at the school and took 54 hours and 34 minutes to complete. (Even then, the only thing that stopped the robot was a dead battery.) The previous record was held by a robot at Cornell University, which walked 40.39 continuous miles in 2011.
[h/t Live Science]
Anonymous says FML
Philip.paulssonLOL
Today, I had to explain to my 35-year-old husband that "Honda" and "Hyundai" are two separate car companies, not to two different pronunciations of the same one. FML
Boston company launches spy drone that can fly indefinitely
Philip.paulssonI didn't think anyone could come up with a worse way to spell sci-fi than the TV channel (Syfy), but these guys managed to do it!
Boston company CyPhy Works has just launched the commercial version of the Persistent Aerial Reconnaissance and Communications (PARC) drone, which can stay up in the air for however long you want it to. The military's been using it to monitor its c...
19 Struggles All Cheese Haters Constantly Face
Philip.paulssonUhhh if you hate cheese you ARE weird.
It’s not easy not being cheesy.
The harsh judgement from your peers.

It's hard disliking what seems to be the most popular food in the world.
FOX
Seriously, people think you're really fucking weird.

And they will express that. Constantly.
Universal Pictures
And there are always demanding questions about your "choice".

I didn't CHOOSE to hate cheese, it just happened OK?
Because it turns out everyone else on the planet loves cheese...

18 German Shepherd Puppies Who Need To Be Snuggled Immediately
All. So. FLUFFY.
This little TICKLE MONSTER.

This pup who's just hanging around.

This demure puffball, who is also half-Rottweiler!

This flopsy-wopsy who just wants a break from his walk.

jponsiek / dailypuppy.com
http://www.lostateminor.com/2015/10/02/this-is-a-vinyl-record-being-played-under-1000x-magnification/
Philip.paulssonThis is kinda cool.
ThyssenKrupp unveils model of the MULTI, a vertical mass transit system
Philip.paulssonCool.
Elevators haven’t changed much in 150 years; the controls got more sophisticated, but they basically remained a box pulled up by a cable, with one cab per shaft. This becomes a real problem as buildings get taller; the multiple shafts end up taking up a lot of valuable real estate, with only one little box in each. The cables get so heavy that you end up spending more energy moving cables than cab. As the buildings sway, the cables start swaying too. The elevators end up being a real limiting factor on the height of our buildings and the density of our cities, and a big factor in the high cost of high buildings.
Lloyd Alter/ Andreas Schierenbeck in Gijon/CC BY 2.0
This is an important urban issue; as ThyssenKrupp CEO Andreas Schierenbeck notes,
With severe restrictions on space, mid to high-rise developments have proved to be the most economically and environmentally viable developments to accommodate these rapidly growing urban populations.
Last year, ThyssenKrupp announced a solution to this problem: the MULTI lift system which gets rid of elevator cables, and instead runs each elevator cab as an independent vehicle on a vertical track, powered by linear induction motors. They promised a working model within a year, and today at their Dijon Innovation Center, in northern Spain, they delivered.
They weren’t kidding when they said model; my first reaction was to paraphrase Derek Zoolander and scream “what is this, an elevator for ants? It has to be at least…. three times as big!” Because what they have built is a one-third full scale working model. Being fairly small, I asked to ride it but they said no, I could just watch it move.
Lloyd Alter/CC BY 2.0
And move it does, in the most remarkable ways, unlike any elevator ever built. The cabs rise up on the tracks, powered by the linear induction motors; when they reach the end, top, bottom or any point where they want to move sideways, a section of track rotates and the cab goes sideways.
Clip35 from Lloyd Alter on Vimeo.
Watch my terrible video to see how this happens as Research Head Markus Jetter describes it. Note toward the end that Cab 4, resting by the side of the road, joins the fun; this demonstrates how cabs can be taken out of service and have maintenance done while the elevator keeps working.
It also shows how the elevator can run horizontally to connect other buildings, and to change the form of the buildings we build. The engineers at ThyssenKrupp were not trying to solve this problem; they just wanted to be able to switch shafts and run them in a loop. After all, they also make another product, the Accel moving walkway, which is probably a more sensible solution for moving horizontally (and the subject of another post). But the architects and designers who saw the concept just loved the idea of being able to break out of the standard vertical box.
A vertical mass transit system
From an operating point of view, it is much more like a mass transit system on its side than an elevator; a cab comes along every twenty seconds or so, one after another. Don’t try and hold the door, because they are following a sequence where the next cab is coming up behind you. It won’t have any floor buttons, because it is serving as a vertical express train; you get off at what used to be called a sky lobby and transfer to the local that works like a normal elevator. The cabs are slower and smaller, because there are a lot more of them another is almost no waiting, (and since fast elevators have lots of problems) people probably won’t mind. The advantages add up:
In a manner similar to a metro system operation, the MULTI design can incorporate various self-propelled elevator cabins per shaft running in a loop, increasing the shaft transport capacity by up to 50% and making it possible to reduce the elevator footprint in buildings by half… The overall increase in efficiency also translates into a lower requirement for escalators and additional elevator shafts, resulting in significant construction cost savings and increased rent revenues from the greater availability of usable space.
© ThyssenKrupp
There are so many issues that have had to be resolved to make this work. Because linear induction motors are very expensive, and the more weight it has to move the bigger it gets, and because the entire cab has to pivot around a single point, the cab has to be made as light as possible, so it is being built out of carbon fibre. There is also all those usual things that have to be solved, like emergency brakes and controls to keep one cab from running into another, or dealing with what actually happens if some jerk tries to hold a door open.
Lloyd Alter/CC BY 2.0
Linear induction motors require tight tolerances so everything has to be machined to a high degree of precision. Those powerful magnets in the carbon fibre carrier have to line up perfectly with the coils in the machined aluminum section here.
Reshaping buildings, but also perhaps the urban fabric
Lloyd Alter/ Dario Trabucco/CC BY 2.0In his presentation, Dario Trabucco of the Council on Tall Buildings and Urban Habitat foresaw big implications on building and urban design. He noted that more and more, designers are looking at horizontal connections to make connections between buildings easier and more convenient. As cities get denser and more crowded, the pressure for alternate ways of moving will increase as the sidewalks get more crowded.
So fact that the elevator can go sideways will affect building design, but its real impact may well be on a larger, urban design scale, making useful horizontal connections between buildings.
ThyssenKrupp/Screen capture
When you look at the ThyssenKrupp video, toward the end they visualize a city with crazy Jenga Jacks buildings that jog all over the place, which is fun but not exactly solving a problem of significance. In fact, it is probably giving architects a dangerous tool that lets them do some very silly architecture.
© Steven Holl's Linked Hybrid
Dario Trabucco used the example of Steven Holl’s Linked Hybrid building, linked together with horizontal connections. Imagine how urban and building design might change when the elevators can do this. It will change not only the way our buildings might look, but the way they connect and become part of the urban fabric.
The Shard/Promo image
Whatever one thinks about the trend to ultra-tall buildings, the facts of urbanization and increasing density are all around us. Currently, these buildings are serving only the very rich in cities like London, New York and Shanghai; the buildings are hugely expensive, and I have argued that they are not particularly dense, nor are they particularly good for the cities they are in. One one of the major contributors to the cost and size of the buildings is the space taken up by elevators, with each like a vertical limousine on a dedicated roadway, taking up all that space to deliver a couple of people to their destination.
However, when you think of the elevator as mass transit, one cab after another, delivering people to vertical neighbourhoods serviced by local elevators that are stacked on top of each other, it changes the picture. Tall buildings will always cost more to build, but this technology might make them more accessible and affordable for a wider audience, the kind of people who are used to changing trains.
That’s the kind of super-tall that they could use in cities like London or New York.
At the press conference in Gijon, Andreas Schierenbeck set what is perhaps a more difficult deadline: to make it three times as big, and demonstrate it in their new test tower in Rottweil that was just topped off, on time and on budget. After seeing what they have done so far, I have no doubt that they will pull this off.
Lloyd Alter’s travel and accommodations to attend the press conference in Gijon, Spain, was paid for by ThyssenKrupp, for which he is very grateful.
Here's The Official Step-By-Step Guide To Opening Bagged Milk
Philip.paulssonI like bagged milk.
It’s really not that complicated.
First off, don't do any of this dumb shit:

What are you, new?
Kat Angus/BuzzFeed Canada // Thinkstock
Seriously, you just need to follow three simple steps:

BOOM. MILK IN YO' GLASS.
Kat Angus/BuzzFeed Canada // Thinkstock
But you can still just keep things simple:

But at least now you can stop asking us Canadians about it.
Kat Angus/BuzzFeed Canada // Thinkstock
14 Reasons You Need To Get Excited For "Ash Vs. Evil Dead"
Philip.paulssonI don't think I have Starz. Will have to figure out how to watch this!
Hail to the king baby, he’s back!
In case you haven't heard, Starz is quenching our thirst for scariness with an Evil Dead-themed show called Ash Vs. Evil Dead. It hits the screen tonight, and here's why you absolutely need to be excited.

Starz
First of all, it will bring back the greatness that was the original Evil Dead trilogy.

What 2013 remake?
Lionsgate / Via vixensandmonsters.tumblr.com
The king himself is back, and in full uniform — it’s not always easy to slip right back into your old clothes.

Starz / Via ashvsevildead.tumblr.com
And not only is the king back, but the Raimi team is back, as well.

Starz
Doctors Remove Live Tapeworm From Brain Of Student Who Thought He Had A Migraine
Philip.paulssonI like the A x-ray with his eyeballs.
Luis Ortiz was rushed to hospital where doctors discovered that a tapeworm larva had wedged inside his brain, leaving him with just half an hour to live.
A 26-year-old student who thought he was suffering from severe headaches actually had a live tapeworm wriggling around inside his brain.

J.L. Sousa/Register / AP
After a month of pain, Luis Ortiz, from California, became disorientated and began vomiting. His mother rushed him to hospital where his condition worsened and he eventually lost consciousness.
Doctors at the Queen of the Valley Medical Center, in Napa, performed numerous tests and a brain scan finally revealed that a tapeworm larva had wedged inside his brain and formed a cyst that was blocking the circulation of water.
Surgery was performed immediately, without which Ortiz could have died within half an hour.
"We made a hole in skull bone over the eyebrow and drove the camera into the centre of the brain and fished out the cyst and the worm… The worm was still wiggling when we pulled it out," Dr Soren Singel, one of the neurosurgeons who performed the emergency surgery, told the Napa Valley Register.
"Another 30 minutes of that blockage and he would have been dead. It was a close call," he said.
Once the cyst was successfully removed from his brain, Ortiz was shown the tapeworm. "I was like, 'That came out of me?' It looked pretty gross," he said.
"I was shocked … I just couldn't believe something like that would happen to me. I didn't know there was a parasite in my head trying to ruin my life."

A magnetic resonance (MR) and computed tomographic image of the brain of a 51-year-old woman infected with Taenia crassiceps tapeworm larvae.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention / Via wwwnc.cdc.gov
These eggs would have travelled into his intestine, and the larvae would've eventually made it into his brain, causing a parasitic tissue infection called cysticercosis.
"I was really lucky," Ortiz said. "They said, 'If you came in a hour later, you wouldn't be alive.' I'm grateful for all the things the doctors and my parents have done."
Hillary Clinton's Campaign Is Powered By Pizza And Anal
Philip.paulssonLOL
This is the new Netflix and Chill.
Late last night, Hillary Clinton's team shared this lighthearted NBC article on how much pizza her campaign team eats.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending), if you are one of the 63% of users who access Twitter via mobile, this is what you saw:

That's right.


17 Embarrassingly Gross Stories Of People Shitting Themselves
Philip.paulsson#14 is all kinds of crazy.
Moral of these stories: Never trust a fart.
When I was seven, my friend and I were terrified of this painting of George Washington my parents had hung in our living room. So I decided one night when she was sleeping over, that we should sneak out of my room and go teach George a lesson. I climbed onto the back of the couch and pulled down my pants, trying to push out a fart, but my friend and I were laughing so hard that I projectile-sharted all over the face of our first president. We woke my parents up and learned it was a painting that valued at more than 20k, so they had to get it professionally cleaned.
Side note: My mom was moving a couple years ago and ruined it via puncture.
Submitted by dakotad460ba6538
One time as a counselor at a church camp I was leading my third-grade campers out of the wilderness when I felt something heinous drop to my colon. Wanting to share the experience, I trusted that it was just a fart and yelled "listen to this!", bent down, and then proceeded to just fill my pants in front of all my campers and best friend. I had to waddle to the women's outhouse to throw my soiled shorts away.
Submitted by coleb45633b85c
I had been studying abroad in Florence, Italy, and decided to take a quick trip to Rome. I had heard that the water from the public fountains would be just fine to drink, so I did. We were almost done with a tour of Vatican City, and it hit me: I shit my pants in the gift shop of Vatican City. It was a 20-minute metro back to my hostel and a two-hour train ride home to Florence.
Submitted by lexyd3

