Philip.paulsson

Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML

Contrary to popular belief, a new study says parents may want to prevent their newborns from being bitten by horses.

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

DEARBORN, MO—Less than 24 hours after last night’s Powerball drawing, reports confirmed that the two winners of the $587 million jackpot are both already divorced from their respective spouses, alienated from their friends and families, and co...

This is Trotify, a wooden device powered by your bike's front wheel that makes it sound like you're a horse clopping along down the road whenever you're riding. There's no horse though, it's just you and your handlebar mustache on a bicycle. The £19.99 (~$32) kits come with everything you need to build your own EXCEPT the coconut. The coconut is your responsibility. The folks behind the product need at least 1,000 orders to begin manufacture though, and so far they've only received 119. I dunno, maybe they overestimated the 'bike that sounds like a horse' market. Now a bike that sounds like a rocketship -- that's a million dollar idea. Hit the jump for a video of the Trotify in action. SPOKEY DOKES FOR LIFE.

PHOENIX—Retail chain PetSmart Inc. came under fire this week after a police investigation revealed the company’s loose background-screening process had allowed a deranged gerbil to slip through the cracks and be sold to a Los Angeles family, d...

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

LIC’s emergence as a new business and residential hub is no surprise to those of us who live and love it here. But did you know that LIC is not just about new high-rises and giant corporate groups? In our new column,  our newest contributor Ivy Esquero explores some LIC businesses that offer some unique surprises.

 

photos by Ivy Esquero

 

If you’ve shopped at Food Cellar or Duane Reade, you have probably passed by an unassuming garage door on 5th and 47th, heard the sounds of huge machines and assumed, like me, that it was an auto-body shop. Turns out that behind the door, there’s some serious magic happening.

Andrew Baccon calls “digital fabrication” the bread and butter of Tietz-Baccon. “It’s very easy to create designs nowadays using software that any designer has access to. The trick is getting that translated into the real world. That’s where we come in. Designers will come to us with something that might be awesome, but can be 20 times more expensive than their clients will allow. There are a lot of ideas that we bring to the table that enables the design to happen.”

Ever thought it would be cool to have a “tufted” headboard made of wood? They’ve done that. Tile that looks like a desert landscape? Check. Reptile skin fabricated from plastic? They’ve got you covered. Even their scraps look like pieces of art.

“We wish we could keep some of this stuff, but we just don’t have the room,” says Erik Tietz. Tietz-Baccon, who has been in LIC since early 2008, is moving to a bigger shop a few blocks away in early 2013. They may even get a showroom. “It’s really great to be part of the industrial history of LIC,” says Tietz. “We would love to stay and grow with the neighborhood”.

Take a peek at their website www.tietz-baccon.com for some gorgeous examples of their work.

Already have a design and just want help fabricating and producing the pieces? The partners are launching a new company in December to do just that. Designers will be able to upload their own digital images and order the pieces directly, cutting production time significantly. Check out their site at: www.machinemade.com

Follow Ivy Esquero on twitter @lic_biz

 

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

NEW YORK—According to emergency personnel, early estimates indicate that more than 42 million Americans were killed this past weekend in what is now believed to be the bloodiest Black Friday shopping event in history. First responders reporting from...

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

History would kindly tell us that this isn't the very first deal Netflix and Warner Bros. have struck in past months -- and, well, chances are it won't be the last one either. Earlier today, the streaming giant announced it had reached a new agreement with the California-based studio which will bring a hefty amount of new content to subscribers in Canada. Starting January of next year, Netflix streamers in the Great White North can start watching TV shows such as The Vampire Diaries, Fringe and Pretty Little Liars, as well as films like The Hangover Part II, Horrible Bosses and even the critically-acclaimed blockbuster The Dark Knight Rises -- although these movies will come "for a limited period following their pay television window." There's still some time before the deal bears fruit, so perhaps the next few weeks could be used to start clearing that overloaded Instant Queue of yours.

Continue reading Netflix announces new deal with Warner, will deliver popular content to Canadian streamers

Filed under: Home Entertainment, HD

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Source: Netflix

We now know which two astronauts will have to pack their bags very, very well in the next three years: NASA's Scott Kelly and Roscosmos' Mikhail Kornienko have been picked for the year-long stay aboard the International Space Station in 2015. Both voyagers are old hands at space travel, having each spent a total of six months in orbit and at least some time on the ISS crew. There's no great shock in the choices when the mission will track the long-term effects of near-zero gravity on the human body -- after all, most of us would want a crew comfortable in its spacesuit boots for such an ambitious (though not record-setting) trip. Kelly and Kornienko will start a two-year training program shortly into 2013 that should have them in shape by the expedition's launch... and hopefully remind them to bring a good toothbrush.

Continue reading NASA, Roscosmos pick seasoned astronauts for year-long ISS trip

Filed under: Transportation, Science, Alt

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Source: NASA (1), (2)

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML