December 24th, 2014: That's it for 2014, everyone! We'll have some KLASSIK KOMIXs to end out the year and then I will be coming back at you to hit you up with some MAD FUNNY CHUCKLEPROMPTS in 2015, in the format of an arcane merging of text and the graphical arts!!
THANK YOU as always for reading my crazy comic about the dinosaurs who talk!
The boy’s family believes it was meant to humiliate him for acting out at school.
Dakota Nafzinger is an 8-year-old from Kansas City, Missouri, who goes to Gracemor Elementary. He was born without eyes, a condition called Bilateral Anopthalmia.
Dakota’s family are furious. They told local affiliate WDAF-TV that taking away Dakota’s cane is the same as taking away his eyes. “He shouldn’t be treated the way he’s being treated,” Dakota’s father Donald said.
The school said that Dakota has to use the pool noodle for the next two weeks, claiming the boy used his school-supplied cane to hit someone while riding the bus.
The woman's parents have requested that the machine be switched off, but doctors have been unwilling to do this because of the constitutional amendment, which gives the rights of mothers and the unborn equal status.
The woman, who is 17 weeks pregnant, suffered a catastrophic internal injury over a fortnight ago and has no chance of survival, but the foetus she is carrying is still alive.
Taoiseach Enda Kenny has announced that there will be no "knee jerk" reaction to the case, the paper reported.
Francois Lenoir / Reuters
The paper has interpreted this as a signal that there will be no "legislative changes or referendum" in the lifetime of the current government. It also quotes two other politicians – environment minister Alan Kelly and health minister Leo Varadkar – as saying there will not be a referendum or revisit of the legislation.
A cyclist in China's eastern Ningbo city has somehow survived being run over by a massive truck, with its 14 wheels passing over him completely at a busy intersection.
Need to remember to watch the christmas special tonight. The show is great.
Wondering how to get the weekend started? If you're a fan of Netflix's original series Bojack Horseman, there's a pretty easy choice, since the service just released an extra episode out of the blue. As Bojack (voiced by Will Arnett) and Todd (voiced...
It’s not what they asked for, but they are still delighted.
Tim Cocker worried his kids might be spoiled, so he tried an experiment. Two weeks before Christmas, he let them each open one present. These presents were far from the toys they were expecting, and their responses will melt your heart.
In a message sent to company executives, someone claiming to represent the hacker group calling itself the Guardians of Peace has given Sony Pictures Entertainment the go-ahead to release the film The Interview—with some minor caveats. First of all, they want any death scene for Kim Jong-un dropped from the film.
"This is GOP. You have suffered through enough threats," the message, which was also posted to Pastebin, read. "The interview may release now. But be careful. September 11 may happen again if you don't comply with the rules: Rule #1: no death scene of Kim Jong Un being too happy; Rule #2: do not test us again ; Rule #3: if you make anything else, we will be here ready to fight."
Sony dropped plans for the release of the film following the cancellation of screenings by major theater chains.
Hackers threatened theaters that screened The Interview, forcing Sony to cancel the movie release.
-/AFP / Getty Images
On Wednesday, Sony canceled the release of The Interview following threats from hackers. The threats mentioned 9/11 and said that "those who seek fun in terror" would be "doomed" to a "bitter fate."
The FBI also warned theaters this week that they could face cyber attacks for screening the film.
Pretty sure they're probably saying "cheese dick", dude. Can't even get his FML right!
Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML
When International Space Station Commander Barry Wilmore needed a wrench, NASA knew just what to do. They "e-mailed" him one. This is the first time an object has been designed on Earth and then transmitted to space for manufacture.
Made In Space, the California company that designed the 3D printer aboard the ISS, overheard Wilmore mentioning the need for a ratcheting socket wrench and decided to create one. Previously, if an astronaut needed a specific tool it would have to be flown up on the next mission to the ISS, which could take months.
This isn't the first 3D-printed object made in space, but it is the first created to meet the needs of an astronaut. In November astronauts aboard the ISS printed a replacement part for the recently installed 3D printer. A total of 21 objects have now been printed in space, all of which will be brought back to Earth for testing.
This new T-Mobile CEO is just frickin' killing it.
T-Mobile US has won a declaratory ruling that could force AT&T and Verizon Wireless to charge lower prices for data roaming.
T-Mobile argued in a petition to the Federal Communications Commission that the biggest carriers charge their smaller competitors artificially high prices. The petition asked the commission to offer specific guidance and enforcement criteria for determining whether any given data roaming agreement is commercially reasonable.
The FCC granted T-Mobile’s request today, rejecting arguments made by AT&T and Verizon. The ruling by itself doesn’t lower the rates that T-Mobile has to pay AT&T and Verizon. However, T-Mobile could now challenge the rates it pays those companies and have a better shot at winning because the commission largely accepted T-Mobile’s proposed guidance. The greater possibility of FCC intervention could also improve T-Mobile's leverage in negotiations.
What if I made a lava lamp out of real lava? What could I use as a clear medium? How close could I stand to watch it?
Kathy Johnstone, 6th Grade Teacher (via a student)
This is a surprisingly reasonable idea, by What If standards.
I mean, it's not that reasonable. At the very least, I'm guessing you would lose your teaching license, and possibly some of the students in the front row. But you could do it.
Just a warning: I'm going to be linking to a lot of videos of lava flowing and people poking it with sticks, so you may have a hard time getting to the end of the article without getting sidetracked into watching a bunch of them like I did while writing it.
You have a few choices for transparent materials that could hold the lava without rupturing and splattering half the classroom with red-hot droplets. Fused quartz glass would be a great choice. It's the same stuff they use in high-intensity lamp bulbs, the surface of which can easily get up to mid-range lava temperatures.[1]This bulb, for example, can supposedly handle bulb temperatures of up to 1000°C, which is hotter than many types of lava. Another possibility is sapphire, which stays solid up to 2,000°C, and is commonly used as a window into high-temperature chambers.[2]That link wasn't a lava video, but this is.
The question of what to use for the clear medium is trickier. Let's say we find a transparent glass that melts[3]Some people say glass is a liquid that flows very slowly. Other people smugly point out that this is actually wrong. Then another group of people dissects how we know it's wrong, and where this incorrect idea got started. And then at the end of the chain, a Metafilter user steps back and asks some supremely insightful questions about what's really going on here as we variously repeat and debunk these kinds of factoids. at low temperatures. Even if we ignore the impurities from the hot lava that would probably cloud the glass, we're going to have a problem.[4]And later, when the school board finds out, we'll have another.
Molten glass is transparent. So why doesn't it look transparent?[5]Which sounds sorta contradictory. "This music is loud, but it doesn't sound loud." The answer is simple: It glows. Hot objects give off blackbody radiation; molten glass glows just like molten lava does, and for the same reason.
So the problem with a lava lamp is that both halves of it will be equally bright, and it will be hard to see the lava. We could try having nothing in the top half of the lamp—after all, when it's hot enough, lava bubbles pretty well on its own. Unfortunately, the lamp itself would also be in contact with the lava. Sapphire might not melt easily, but it will glow, making it hard to see whatever the lava was doing inside.
Unless you hooked it up to a really bright bulb, this lava lamp would cool down quickly. Just like individual blobs of lava, the lamp would solidify and stop glowing within the first minute, and by the end of the class period you'd probably be able to touch it without being burned.
A solidified lava lamp is just about the most boring thing in the world. But the scenario made me wonder: If making a lamp out of molten lava wouldn't be very exciting, then what about a volcano made of lamps?
This is probably the most useless calculation I've ever done,[6]Ok, there's no way that's true. but ... what if Mount Saint Helens erupted again today, but instead of tephra,[7]The technical term for "whatever crap comes out of a volcano." it spewed compact fluorescent bulbs?
Well, if it did, the mercury released into the atmosphere would be several orders of magnitude larger than all manmade emissions combined.[8]45% of which come from gold mining.
All in all, I think making a lava lamp out of lava would be kind of anticlimactic, and would much rather go find some actual lava and poke it with a stick. I also think that it's probably good that Mount Saint Helens didn't erupt compact fluorescent bulbs. And I think that if I were in Ms. Johnstone's class, I'd try to sit toward the back of the room.
Sony may have pulled "The Interview" – about a mission to assassinate North Korea's Kim Jong-Un – from being released, but one movie theater in Texas won't let the hackers win.
In response, the Alamo Drafthouse in Texas decided to screen the 2004 film "Team America: World Police" instead.
"Sure, you can celebrate your independence the usual way: slow sipping a beer as you stand over a grill while people you have only mild contempt for wait inside for their free meal. OR you can join The Action Pack as we celebrate TEAM AMERICA's 10th anniversary," the theater posted on its website.
Minecraft's silent landscaper Steve is exiting his blocky world and stepping into Telltale's world of stories: Minecraft is getting a "narrative-driven" game from the folks behind The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones games. Like Telltale's other work...
This is heartening, in that it makes it seem like it's going to be reclassified as a utility, which would be great: "Even reclassifying broadband service as a utility or common carrier service will not give the FCC that power" - Verizon's General Counsel
Verizon told the Federal Communications Commission yesterday that it has no right to regulate paid interconnection deals like the ones Netflix struck with Verizon and other Internet providers.
Even reclassifying broadband service as a utility or common carrier service will not give the FCC that power, Verizon VP and Associate General Counsel William H. Johnson wrote in a filing in the FCC's net neutrality proceeding.
"The Commission cannot under any circumstances lawfully impose Title II common-carriage requirements on interconnection, as some regulatory proponents propose. Such requirements apply only to 'common carriers,' that is, to telecommunications service providers already 'engaged as a common carrier for hire," Johnson wrote, citing US communications law and court precedents. "As the DC Circuit has explained, when a provider is not operating as a common carrier, the Commission cannot 'relegate' that provider 'to common carrier status' by imposing common-carriage regulation. The Commission does not have 'unfettered discretion... to confer or not confer common-carrier status on a given entity depending upon the regulatory goals it seeks to achieve.'"
The good folks at Toyark have provided us with a much needed translation of the press release for Tamashii Nation’s upcoming Star Wars figures. To hear news.toyark.com tell it, not only will Tamashii Nation be dropping traditional Stormtrooper and Darth Vader figures, but they will also be making samurai versions available for purchase.
The bad news: It is only hitting shelves in Japan this March.
The good news: If you have $70.00 to spare (not including international shipping fees) then it could be yours when it releases.
Tamashii Nations has posted some updates related to their upcoming SH Figuarts Star Wars and Movie Realization Stormtrooper Figures. The SH Figuarts Darth Vader will include an interchangeable severed hand and a lightsaber. The description also reveals that a Return of the Jedi Luke Skywalker is coming next year. There will also be a campaign of some sort (can’t translate the flattened text), which will see the release of a Return of the Jedi Death Star Diorama for the SH Figuarts Star Wars Figures. The 1/12 scale SH Figuarts Stormtrooper and Darth Vader are scheduled for an April 2015 release. Vader is priced at 5,940 Yen (about $50 USD), while the Stormtrooper is priced at 4,320 Yen (about $36 USD). Check out pics of those Here.
Tamashii Nations also released official images and info for their Movie Realization Samurai Stormtrooper. The figure will include interchangeable hands, a sword and a rifle. It stands at 170MM tall (about 6.7″). It’s scheduled for release is May 2015 at a price of 8,424 Yen (about $70 USD).
Damnit Carmike! You're letting the terrorists win!
Varietyreports that in light of major US theater chains' decision to stay away from The Interview, Sony will not do a theatrical release for the film at all.
The company released the following statement after 2pm PDT on Wednesday:
In light of the decision by the majority of our exhibitors not to show the film The Interview, we have decided not to move forward with the planned December 25 theatrical release. We respect and understand our partners’ decision and, of course, completely share their paramount interest in the safety of employees and theater-goers.
Sony Pictures has been the victim of an unprecedented criminal assault against our employees, our customers, and our business. Those who attacked us stole our intellectual property, private emails, and sensitive and proprietary material, and sought to destroy our spirit and our morale – all apparently to thwart the release of a movie they did not like. We are deeply saddened at this brazen effort to suppress the distribution of a movie, and in the process do damage to our company, our employees, and the American public. We stand by our filmmakers and their right to free expression and are extremely disappointed by this outcome.
Sony's action comes after the Hollywood Reporterreported the nation's largest cinema chains (including Regal and Cinemark) decided not to screen The Interview following a terrorist threat on Tuesday from hackers who said moviegoers could face doom while watching the comedy about North Korea.
Ugh why!? You already have it, and it's called Google Wallet!!
Samsung is edging closer to debuting its own take on wireless payments, according to a report from Recode. Following the launch of Apple Pay earlier this year, Samsung has reportedly been trying to license technology from startup LoopPay to create a ...
T-Mobile's latest Uncarrier announcement might lack the pomp and circumstance of a big media event, but CEO John Legere's conversation with Yahoo Tech's David Pogue is already proving fruitful. Once January rolls around, T-Mobile customers will be ab...
I mean, at this point, shouldn't we just have a barbeque so we can all know what they taste like? It's not like there's any hope now, right?
The death of Angalifu at San Diego Zoo over the weekend brings the rare rhino population, decimated by poachers, closer to extinction.
Angalifu is shown in this Oct. 21, 2014, photo provided by the San Diego Zoo.
Ken Bohn / AP Photo/San Diego Zoo
The male rhino was receiving veterinary care at the time for a variety of "age-related" conditions, according to the park.
Angalifu's death means there are just five known northern white rhinos in the world – one elderly female at the San Diego Zoo, one at a zoo in Czech Republic, and three others at a national park in Africa.
"Angalifu's death is a tremendous loss to all of us," Randy Rieches, curator of mammals for the San Diego Zoo, said in a statement. "Not only because he was well beloved here at the park, but also because his death brings this wonderful species one step closer to extinction."
Angalifu's cause of death was not released, although the zoo said he was suffering from "age-related" issues.
Ken Bohn / Reuters
The white rhino is the second-largest land mammal — only the African elephant ranks larger, according to the World Wildlife Fund.
In 1960, there were 2,000 northern white rhinos, which once roamed southern Chad, the Central African Republic, southwestern Sudan, northeastern Zaire, Democratic Republic of Congo, and northwestern Uganda.
But driven by a lucrative black market for rhino horn, poaching decimated the population. By 1984, just 15 northern white rhinos remained, all of them in Congo's Garamba National Park, according to the WWF.
Under strict protections, the population rebounded to roughly 30 by 1993. But by 2004, the population had shrunk to between 17 and 22. It never recovered.
The Cliffs of Comet ChuryumovGerasimenko 
Wondering how to get the weekend started? If you're a fan of Netflix's original series Bojack Horseman, there's a pretty easy choice, since the service just released an extra episode out of the blue. As Bojack (voiced by Will Arnett) and Todd (voiced...
Minecraft's silent landscaper Steve is exiting his blocky world and stepping into Telltale's world of stories: Minecraft is getting a "narrative-driven" game from the folks behind The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones games. Like Telltale's other work...
Samsung is edging closer to debuting its own take on wireless payments, according to a report from Recode. Following the launch of Apple Pay earlier this year, Samsung has reportedly been trying to license technology from startup LoopPay to create a ...
T-Mobile's latest Uncarrier announcement might lack the pomp and circumstance of a big media event, but CEO John Legere's conversation with Yahoo Tech's David Pogue is already proving fruitful. Once January rolls around, T-Mobile customers will be ab...
