Steve Dyer

In just a few years, Sevilla, Spain went from almost no bike paths and low ridership to robust network of bike paths and many people using them. To do it, the ruling party used the positive results of a public poll to move quickly, annexing 5000 parking spots and spending a relatively meager €32 million to build 80+ kilometers of bike paths in just 18 months.

The year after the basic network opened, Calvo said, it seemed like every family in the city had suddenly bought one another bicycles for Christmas.

“Everyone was talking about the success of the bike lanes at that point,” he said. “The sports shops, they ran out of bikes. They needed to get bikes from Barcelona, from Madrid, and over from France.”

Once that happened, it became clear that the huge bike network investment had been a fiscal bargain.

“The whole network is €32 million,” he says. That’s how many kilometers of highway - maybe five or six? It’s not expensive infrastructure. … We have a metro line that the cost was €800 million. It serves 44,000 trips every day. With bikes, we’re serving 70,000 trips every day.”

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My coworker is keeping a notebook about me

I have been at my company for over four years. I have a coworker who for the past two years has been keeping a notebook about me. He puts several things in there to account for his day, but I am the only coworker mentioned. I have been told he is keeping account of his day because he has been put on Performance Managements (fancy word for write-up) before because he does not meet his quota for the day.

My issue is that he puts in there when I take my break, who I talk to, how long I talk to them, etc. And often times, he puts that I take my break for several minutes when in fact I wasn’t on my break at all; I was called away to do other duties. I have brought up to management the fact that if he is taking account of his day, then why is my name written all over that book? He doesn’t mention any other coworkers’ break times or their whereabouts. (I know all this because he left his book out in another workstation and someone took a picture and sent it to me.)

He has been very unprofessional with me to the point where he’s dragging two other coworkers on the same path with him. He has “shoulder checked” me on a few occasions. I have brought this to management several times and they have done nothing about this. Is there anything I can do? It has been causing me a great deal of stress because it has gotten to the point where I feel like I’m being stalked. Is there anything I can do about this?

If your managers have even a tiny amount of sense, this is going to make your coworker look ridiculous and won’t reflect on you at all. I totally understand why this is aggravating, but the best thing you can do is to ignore it.

Your coworker has been warned that he’s not meeting expectations. The best thing he could do is to focus on improving his performance. Instead, he’s keeping a journal about other people. That is not likely to end well for him.

He’s presumably trying to make a case that if you’re not in trouble for your work habits, he shouldn’t be either — but as long as you’re doing your job well, I would try very hard not to worry about this. You’ve already talked to your managers about this, so they know it’s happening.

To be clear, they should tell him to stop and that they want his attention on his own work, not on yours. But since you can’t make them handle it that way, all you can really do here is to roll your eyes and ignore it.

However, the shoulder-checking is not in any way okay (and frankly is the more serious issue), and you absolutely have standing to insist that’s addressed, including going over your manager’s head if necessary. Instead of calling it “shoulder-checking,” call it “deliberate pushing,” because that’s what it is and that might help drive the point home that it’s unacceptable.

2. Should I say something about my coworker’s old self-harm scars?

I (a man if that matters) was talking to a coworker (a woman if it matters) and her sleeves were rolled up. As we were talking, I noticed a series of parallel white scars on both of her arms that are pretty clearly deliberate.

I’m a little bit unsure of what, if anything, I should do. On one hand the ones I saw are old and my one inclination is to say that people’s mental health histories are their own thing and are not something that is discussed at work, plus she might become self-conscious about the scars if she realizes I noticed them. But on the other hand, they’re evidence of unhealthy coping strategies and she might appreciate an offer of help (even if it’s just “hey you should talk to a doctor, here’s the number”). For what it’s worth, we’re in completely seperate departments with completely seperate management chains.

It’s kind of you to want to help, but you should leave it alone. They’re old scars, there’s no indication that she needs immediate help, and I’m sure she wants to be able to roll up her sleeves without having doctors’ phone numbers pushed on her (especially by people she’s not emotionally close to).

3. Can I ask for advice from businesses that might be competitors in the future?

So I currently have a full-time government attorney job that I plan on staying in for about eight more years to get student loan forgiveness. I’m already looking forward to the future and have realized that I actually – really really – want to start a business of my own, and am specifically looking at something like a cat café and/or a bookstore (or a cat bookstore!). I would love to learn more about these businesses before I start one on my own and have been considering reaching out to owners and managers at these businesses to ask for informational interviews (which are super common in the legal field) and possibly the chance to shadow them at work and learn more about their business. I’m not entirely certain how to go about doing this, though, as these are of course, plans that likely won’t come to fruition for many more years, and I’m also essentially asking people for free help so I can then become their competitor eventually. Do you think this is a thing I could do without stepping on toes? And if so, how would I go about conveying this desire without putting my foot in my mouth?

Yeah, it’s true that it might not go over well to ask a business owner to coach you on how to become their competitor … so what about instead contacting a business that isn’t local? If your job doesn’t prohibit it, you might even be able to arrange a barter where you offer some limited amount of legal work (as an individual, not as a representative of your employer) in exchange for their time, depending on what kind of law you practice. (I’m told by commenters that was terrible advice.)

An alternative would be to try to get a very part-time job at one of the businesses that appeals to you, but that would be a significant time investment and possibly not practical.

4. Can I ask if my job is going to be phased out?

I’m currently about three-quarters of the way through a two-year contract with a board of a professional association in Canada. This is the second time I’ve had a contract with them, so it’s been over three years of work with this organization. It’s a very active board — I’m currently working about 22.5 hours a week, mostly on operations/member management, and they do the bulk of the budgeting, annual planning, financial controls, etc. The board is going through a strategic planning process, with an aim to reduce their workload, which I think is great. But they’re talking about taking on a staff person, probably someone like an executive director or an operations coordinator.

Should I ask what they’re planning for my role? I really like my job, and would hate to lose it. I have a good rapport with the executive committee, and I would like to be able to throw my ring into the hat, if appropriate, for whatever “next step” role they’re planning. It would be nice to know if they’re planning to keep my role and bring on another layer of management, and a relief to know that it will be phased out, just so I know. Either way, I don’t want to appear needy or presumptuous or out of touch, but if they are planning on eliminating my role, I’d like some notice (other than my two weeks of contract-mandated notice). It’s not a situation where I would quit out of spite — I would happily finish my contract — but is there any elegant way of asking what my future is here?

Absolutely! You can say, “Are you able to give me any sense of what’s likely to happen to my role under this new structure?” Depending on the answer to that, you can also say, “If it does turn out that my role will be phased out, I’d be really grateful if you can tell as soon as you know so that I can start lining up other work for once my contract here ends.” And if it sounds like you might be qualified for whatever new role they’re planning, you can also say, “I’d love to be considered for that, if you think I might have what you’re looking for. Is there anything I should do to ensure the board knows I’m interested?”

5. The hotel workers at a conference I have to attend are on strike

My workplace hosts an annual convention. This year, the hotel workers union from the conference location is holding a strike during the convention. I strongly support labor rights and workers’ right to strike. It troubles me that by working the convention, I’ll be complicit in undercutting the strikers’ legitimate demands. I don’t want to support the hotel over the workers, or the ‘scabs’ over brave people advocating for themselves. However, I don’t think I am in any position to show any helpful support. I don’t know what to do.

The organization I work for is, thankfully, an ethical one. I understand why they don’t want to cancel their annual conference–an event that educates and helps nationwide/worldwide professionals in the field. The organization officially has no position, no comment re: union strikes. Also, I have not worked with this business for long (less than 1 yr). I occupy probably the most unskilled, lowest-paying, most junior gig in the organization. It seems wildly inappropriate to advocate for canceling the conference or any solidarity of that nature. Especially since my job is the first I’ve ever had that allows me to live independently, have good health insurance etc. Personally boycotting the conference just seems like a good way to annoy my colleagues, and get out of their good graces without, y’know, impacting the strikers’ collective bargaining needs. Seems like it’d only hurt me or at the very least not help anyone. If I could afford to, I thought I might donate to the union to offset my participation in the conference, but I really can’t afford to.

The kernel of my rambling question is: Is there anything appropriate I can do as an individual to support workers’ rights in this situation? What do you think?

I’m throwing this one out to readers to see what suggestions people have.

my coworker is keeping a notebook about me, should I say something about my coworker’s self-harm scars, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

flip-this-table:

HE HAS CLAIMED HIS RIGHTFUL TITLE.

For his newest project IDENTITYCHRIST, Joseph Lee is pushing representational abstract painting to its limits.

I love how rough these are but you can still tell they’re people. Prints are available.

P.S. Lee is also an actor — you may have seen him playing the brother of the lead character in Searching, which is worth watching if only for the unique way the story is told. (via colossal)

Read more...

After he retired from making feature length films in 2013, legendary animator Hayao Miyazaki started work on a short film using CGI animation techniques, which he had never worked with before. For two years, a film crew followed him and his progress, resulting in a feature-length documentary, Never-Ending Man: Hayao Miyazaki. You can watch the trailer above.

I’m a weak used-up old man. It’d be a ridiculous mistake to think I’ll ever regain my youth. But what do I do with the time I have left?

The documentary was shown on Japanese TV in 2016 but will make its American debut in December, showing on December 13 and 18.

Possible spoiler alert for the documentary: Miyazaki unretired last year and is turning that short film into a full-length feature.

Over at In Focus, still the world’s best photoblog (remember those!?), Alan Taylor is looking at different parts of the world from the same height.

Spending time looking at the varying and beautiful images of our planet from above in Google Earth, zooming in and out at dizzying rates, I thought it would be interesting to compare all of these vistas at a fixed scale-to see what New York City, Venice, or the Grand Canyon would look like from the same virtual height.

Each of the 38 images selected by Taylor shows about seven square miles of the Earth’s surface. The three images I’ve excerpted here are, from top to botton, Venice, Wisconsin farmland, and Manhattan. This planet really is dizzyingly beautiful.

This reminds me of The Jefferson Grid project (showing 1 sq mile satellite photos of the US). There’s another project which I swear I’ve seen recently that shows the grids of streets in cities from around the world and how they vary widely, but I can’t find it. Anyone?

Update: Re: the other project I couldn’t remember, several people sent in Geoff Boeing’s city street orientation project (which I posted about here) but it was probably another project of Boeing’s that I was thinking of: Square-Mile Street Network Visualization. He based the project on the work of Allan Jacobs in Great Streets. (thx, @simiasideris)

stupidente:

windows-98:

windows-98:

a lot of people these days are afraid to show fruit and vegetables being thrown through a cascade of water and that’s fucked up

there is NOTHING shameful about this

that’s how they flavor la croix

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My coworker’s medication is affecting their work and our manager doesn’t know

On four separate occasions in the last month, a coworker has come into work completely spaced out. Slightly slurring, eyes not focusing, forgetting things we had just talked about, unable to stay on conversation topic, stumbly and unfocused when walking. They haven’t made any egregious mistakes, but it’s a problem. They talk in circles, don’t pick up on normal social clues and are a distraction to others on the work floor. I fear them talking to clients or our directors like this. The team started noticing but was not sure how to react or how to escalate it.

Last week, the same coworker came in and announced without prompting to our immediate team that they have been long diagnosed with a bipolar disorder, have been having trouble managing manic/low episodes, and are taking heavy doses of prescribed Xanax before coming to work sometimes to even it out. They told us our manager did not know.

This doesn’t feel like something as coworkers we should be touching. I don’t feel comfortable being involved in their health and medication issues, so how it is affecting their lucidity/professionalism at work it isn’t something I feel like we should navigate directly with them like one would a typical teammate issue. I don’t know if privacy concerns should keep me from saying something higher. I wish they had not brought us into it. At the same time, it doesn’t seem right that our team would know the medication cause of our coworkers very obvious impairment, but keep that from our management. Mistakes in our team’s work could have rippling affects that could potentially jeopardize our client accounts. Plus it’s negatively affecting our team dynamic. It’s the elephant in the room no one knows how to talk about or signed up for. What obligations do we have in this situation to our company or our coworker? Help?

What kind of relationship do you have with this coworker? If you’re pretty close with them, one option is to say privately, “You mentioned that you’re on a new medication, and I wasn’t sure if you realized that it’s causing some side effects that would be alarming to people who don’t know that — such as slurring, stumbling, and seeming unfocused in conversation. Until you told us what was going on, I was really worried about you. I didn’t know if you realized those things were noticeable to the extent that they might cause real concern with clients and directors.”

Alternately, I do think this is reasonable to discreetly mention to your manager. You wouldn’t share your coworker’s diagnosis — which isn’t yours to share — but you could certainly mention your concerns that it’s making it tough to have work conversations and that they may appear impaired to clients. You could frame it as “I feel awkward mentioning this, but I also feel uncomfortable not mentioning it.” The idea here isn’t to get the person in trouble, but to flag for your manager that she needs to take a look at the situation and presumably talk to your coworker about how to best manage it.

2. How to I get out of being filmed for “fun office videos”?

I work at an established company that has recently decided to up its social media profile … by taking pictures of us to use on email, in-house IM, and “even your personal LinkedIn if you want,” and by shooting videos of us in the office over the next few weeks to show potential clients how fun we are.

While I can’t believe we’re the only ones who feel this way, one coworker and I want absolutely nothing to do with this. I have had my share of online stalking/harassing and I don’t want to open the door to the possibility of more of the same, especially in my professional life. Plus, I just plain don’t think this is appropriate at all and want no part of it. I’m even afraid to socialize outside of work with my coworkers for fear I’ll get ambushed. I’ve managed to avoid the new social media person’s camera so far, but according to a coworker, they’ll be coming to harass us about it on Monday. I would like to plainly state to them that I do not and will not consent, now or in the future, to my picture being taken or being shown in “fun” work videos. I’ve tried searching for laws to back me up, but I can’t find anything for my state. Please help me avoid this!

I don’t know your state’s law on this, but it’s very likely that if you and your coworker can get out of this, although it might require some hoop jumping to do it. First, I would go to whoever is coordinating this and explain that you’ve dealt with online stalking in the past and it is not an option for you to have your image shared online. Say that you will be opting out of the photos and videos, and that you wanted to make them aware of the situation. You’re not asking for permission here; you’re letting them know. Then, if you see anyone around you with a camera, say, “Please don’t photograph or film me; I’ve talked to Jane about not being included in this.” If you get the sense they’re not respecting your wishes, you can get up and leave the room (if whatever you’re doing is optional at that particular moment) or call them out more assertively (“hey, I need you to stop filming me right now; please turn that off”).

3. Coworker is blasting vanilla pumpkin fragrance into the office

How do I deal with a coworker who fires up the aromatherapy without asking those nearby if they are okay with the headache-inducing smells? It seems pretty inconsiderate to just assume that plunging the office into a cloud of vanilla pumpkin will be okay with everyone.

Some people genuinely don’t realize that other people can be sensitive to smells, or assume it’s so rare that it’s unlikely to apply to anyone around them, or assume that if anyone who doesn’t like it will speak up.

Just be direct: “Unfortunately I seem to be sensitive to that scent — it’s giving me headaches. I’m sorry to ask, but can you not use (scent plug-ins/fragrance sprays/whatever they’re using) in the office?”

Most people will be fine with that. A handful will dig in their heels and be rude about it. If that happens, give it one more try: “I’m sorry to push, but it’s really causing me physical discomfort and I need to ask you not to use it.” And then if that doesn’t solve it, talk to your manager or HR, who should handle it from there (but you want to be able to say that you attempted to handle it yourself first).

4. How strongly can you block your former company from asking for your help once you’re gone?

How strongly can you block your toxic ex-company and your toxic ex-coworkers from asking for your help once you’ve left toxic ex-company?

I am a senior project manager and I left Very Toxic Company (VTC) a few months ago for a new position at Competing Great Company. One of the other very toxic senior PM’s at VTC who inherited most of my projects and clients has been reaching out to me “to get my history and knowledge of my recent projects.” I answered his first email out of courtesy – and these were not short answer type questions – but I did it anyway in the hope that my replies help him on his way and close things out. Nope. A second email followed with many more questions. Again, not short answer type questions. Both emails were rudely written and I feel they were looking to cast blame rather than get answers. Red flags regarding professional liability started popping up in my mind. I decided not to respond to email two. This though led to follow-up texts (“Hey, did you get the email that I sent? We really could use your input”). I ignored the texts. The texts were then followed up by my past manager reaching out to me via email (“Hey, did you get toxic PM’s email? We could really use your input”).

At this point, I wrote a profession but pointed email to my past manager saying please stop contacting me. My ex-manager replied that they would stop contacting me.

Is there any other way to handle this? Is it even remotely possible to walk the line of wanting to be helpful without it leading to getting “sucked back in”?

Generally you start off with a softer approach and then escalate it to a firmer one if it turns out you need to — because often the softer approach will work, and if you can preserve the relationship, that’s generally a better outcome for you. So typically that would mean saying something like, “My new job is keeping me really busy and unfortunately I don’t have time to do these questions justice. I’m sorry I can’t help!” Or, “I can answer one or two quick questions, but won’t be able to do more than that because of commitments to my current job.” And then if they keep pushing after that: “I’m getting the sense you’re hoping for some substantial help from me. Normally I’d suggest that we could figure out an hourly consulting fee, but the reality is that my schedule won’t allow even that. I’m sorry I can’t help!”

All but the most ridiculously toxic places will leave you alone at that point (and you’ll probably still have preserved the relationship and the reference because you were polite about it). But if they don’t, you absolutely can ignore any further contact after that.

5. Explaining to an interviewer that I’ve been caring for a sick family member

I’m writing because I have a question regarding what’s appropriate to talk about in an interview setting. Since the end of my most recent contract gig earlier this year, I’ve been helping to care for my mother, who was recently diagnosed with cancer. When the topic of what I’ve been doing comes up, I typically phrase it as “providing care and support for a sick family member.” This is usually enough to satisfy an interviewer on the topic, but I’m a little concerned that not going into further detail makes me look like I’m just trying to not give a full answer to the question. Is it appropriate to go into more detail about what I’m doing and why I’m not actively working? I have no problem talking about it, but I’m just worried that interviewers might think it was oversharing.

Nope, your current answer is fine. Interviewers don’t need more detail than that; you’re telling them the relevant part … and some people may actually be made uncomfortable by hearing more detail than that, because it’s not necessary and it will shift the focus of the interview to the details of a really tough situation rather than keeping them on you and the job. “Caring for a sick family member” is such a typical way to say this that it would be odd for someone to think you were trying to hide something.

coworker is blasting us with vanilla pumpkin fragrance, Xanax at work, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

The post More on statistical discrimination appeared first on Marginal REVOLUTION.

A reader writes:

My husband works for a well-known and well-respected organization. The supervisor of one of his projects, “Jane,” is also a personal friend of ours since before she was promoted. We’re pretty close; we house-sit for each other, etc.

Jane broke up with her long-term boyfriend earlier this year because she fell for her boss, “Bob” (also my husband’s boss on another project, and one of the overall department supervisors) and they’ve been sleeping together in secret for several months. Only I and one of her other friends know. He is married with two kids, and is pretty obviously in it for the thrill with no intention of leaving his family. He comes across aggressively in my opinion, but my friend is in love with him. She is absolutely miserable with herself. She can’t make herself break it off so she’s looking for a new job several cities away. My husband has no idea, and thinks she broke up with her boyfriend due to stress that has been getting worse, and that’s why she must be leaving. He himself is worried now and gets depressed about work, because he feels like his workload will soon be as impossible as hers must be, and her example has been one of self-destructive, workaholic misery.

I don’t want to betray Jane’s trust, and since my husband works for Bob, I don’t want to jeopardize their relationship either by telling him what’s actually happening. But it’s getting hard to keep it a secret, and it almost seems like she isn’t trying. She doesn’t give anyone (of the 6-10 coworkers who know she’s looking) a reason for why she’s taking an offer elsewhere. Not even a fib like “the workload is just too much” or “I want a change of pace.” Most people think it’s because of the break-up. I have a feeling I will need to keep supporting her because her new job is still only an hour away … not that far from this married man.

What do I tell my husband? Is there anything I can do to intervene, when talking to her directly just results in sadness and destructive behavior? Can I reasonably confront the predatory boss (who has always been SO charming and truly loves my husband)? Can I put in an anonymous note to HR without him knowing it’s me? I’m at a loss, sad for her, and feel weird keeping a secret from my partner.

This is tricky because parts of this are affecting your husband; because he doesn’t know what you know, he’s drawing incorrect conclusions about what’s going on with Jane and starting to worry about his own job.

And Jane has put you in a difficult situation by asking you to keep a secret about your husband’s boss that your husband might care about quite a bit if he knew.

But it is absolutely not your place to get involved to the extent of talking to your husband’s boss or sending a note to his HR department. You don’t work there, and both of those would be oversteps. The fact that you’re considering those is, I suspect, a sign that you’ve gotten too close to the situation and aren’t thinking clearly about where your responsibility for fixing this begins and ends. (Can you imagine if a friend of yours who didn’t work for your company contacted people who worked there about your affair? Even if they had your best interests in mind? It would be wildly inappropriate.)

As far as intervening goes, you really only have standing to intervene on the part that’s affecting your husband. But you do very much have standing there.

At a minimum, you could say something to your husband like, “I know you’re concerned that Jane is under so much work stress that it’s driving her to think about leaving, and that that bodes badly for your own workload. Jane talked to me in confidence about what’s going on, and while I can’t share details, I do want you to know that she’s dealing with some personal stresses right now — it’s not about work at all, and it doesn’t sound like you need to worry that it means anything for your own workload.”

You could also talk to Jane about this aspect of it, saying something like, “I can’t tell you how to handle this, but I do want you to know that (husband) has assumed that the reason you broke up with (old boyfriend) and the reason you’re looking for a new job now is because of work stress — and he’s really concerned that his own workload will soon be as impossible as he assumes yours will be. He’s becoming depressed about work because of it. I don’t want to betray your trust and tell him what’s really going on, but you’re putting me in a position where I know information that would make him feel significantly better about his own workload, and preventing me from telling him. That’s not something I want in my marriage, and I’m asking you to find something to communicate with him to fix that.”

If Jane blows that off, it’s reasonable to tell her that you can’t stay silent with your own husband when you know information that would significantly change how he feels about something, and that you’re going to need to let him know what’s going on. It’s not that you can’t know things your husband doesn’t know or that you won’t keep friends’ secrets; it’s that in this particular case, her secret is actually affecting him, and as his spouse you can’t watch that happen, know more than he does, and say nothing. If he finds out at some point that you knew and said nothing, he’d rightly feel betrayed.

Frankly, you might even decide to go straight there rather than start with the “tell him something that will fix this” request of Jane. That’s up to you and your sense of what your intimacy with your husband requires, but you’re allowed to decide that you’re not willing to have this big of a secret from your husband, particularly when it involves his job and his boss.

It also would have been okay to say to Jane at the very start of the affair, “Hey, I can’t have this kind of secret from (husband) when it involves his job and his boss. If you want to talk to me about this, I need you to know that I won’t be comfortable keeping it from (husband).” And it’s not too late to say a version of that now.

But those are really the only pieces of this that are yours to handle: what you discuss with Jane, and how you and she handle it with your husband. The rest of it, as gross and problematic as it is, is not yours to fix.

my husband’s boss/our friend is sleeping with their married department head was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

NASA recently published this visualization of sunrises and sunsets on the Moon set to the strains of Claude Debussy’s most famous work, Clair de Lune.

The visuals were composed like a nature documentary, with clean cuts and a mostly stationary virtual camera. The viewer follows the Sun throughout a lunar day, seeing sunrises and then sunsets over prominent features on the Moon. The sprawling ray system surrounding Copernicus crater, for example, is revealed beneath receding shadows at sunrise and later slips back into darkness as night encroaches.

A lovely way to spend five minutes. (thx, gina)

dollribbons:

cute little cow baby in a field of red flowers

illchangethislater-probably:

throwbackblr:

These are the two best videos I’ve ever seen in my whole life

Where did the word “OK” come from and how did it become so popular?

Young Boston intellectuals in the early 1800s used a humorous code of abbreviated phrases, like “KC,” or “knuff ced”; “KY,” “know yuse”; and “OW,” “oll wright.” And while most of them eventually fell out of fashion, one abbreviation persisted: “OK,” or “oll korrect.”

OK started off as the LOL of its time. Then Martin Van Buren’s presidential campaign popularized it and its brevity proved useful for sending telegraph messages. You can read more about the history of the word in Allan Metcalf’s book, OK: The Improbable Story of America’s Greatest Word.

positive-memes:

programmerhumour:

Pure savage

Girls can be coders too

shi1498912:

shadamy22:

sp00ky-teacup:

williamhmasqets:

fandomsandfeminism:

firebreathingeli:

Please watch this series of Japanese gum commercials

You won’t regret it I promise

……wow

omg

OMG?

@thisismouseface

wtf?!

Yeah, I’m not sure what else needs to be explained here, it’s what it says on the tin, etc. Owen Wilson likes saying “wow” in movies, people like pointing out that Owen Wilson likes saying “wow” in movies, and this is a collection of those moments. Purple monkey dishwasher.

A reader writes:

I work for a medium-sized company that has had some morale difficulties recently, for reasons that are too long to get into. As a result, the higher-level executives have been making more of an effort to be a “fun” place to work. Most of these efforts are pretty normal, such as a company outing to a sports game.

Recently, we had an all-hands meeting that was broadcast to all of our offices where our CEO made it clear that they were trying to reformat our normal meetings to be more enjoyable and less formal. Midway through the meeting, he asked someone in his conference room if they would be interested in challenging him to a game for a prize.

Someone agreed and stepped up to the front, where the game was revealed to be a contest to see who could eat a handful of dead crickets the fastest. The CEO did check that the contestant was still okay with this, the contestant agreed, and they both went at it. The contestant won a box of chocolate for eating them the fastest, and then the meeting continued.

My question is: is this as weird and terrible an idea as I think it probably is? Most everyone in the office seems to have been weirded out by this display, and they probably won’t do it again if our survey feedback is negative enough. That said, it still already happened, and the person who competed was already put on the spot before it was revealed to be bugs. Granted, I was not the bug eater, and I don’t know this person even casually, so he might not have minded it at all. Is this as strange as I think it is?

A handful of dead crickets?!

It’s extremely weird.

I’d like to know more about the contestant because his willingness to plunge ahead and eat dead bugs is disturbing interesting remarkable. Unless you’re in a really odd office culture, most people would gone with a resounding “nope” when your CEO asked if they wanted to participate once the game was revealed. While it’s certainly true that there’s pressure involved when the CEO asks you to do something in front of the whole company, I think most people would feel comfortable opting out when explicitly given that option, particularly given how gross and over-the-top most people would find this.

That said, there are people who might see it as a way of scoring points with the CEO and thus decide to do it for that reason even if they didn’t really want to. And your CEO should know that.

Any chance this is a super bro-ish culture? Or that their recent efforts to be more “fun” are leaning in that direction? Because this is not really screaming “adult business environment.”

our CEO challenged someone to eat dead bugs was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

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Santana Feat. Rob Thomas -  “Smooth”  (1999)

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A reader writes:

I have a candidate in our hiring process. Due to the industry (skilled trades) I work in, we require a number of safety tickets, orientations, supplemental training, and coordination of flights and camp prior to an employee starting. This candidate, we will call him Bob, seems to be a good fit for the position, but I am having difficulties communicating with him because his wife, Sue, is very involved to the point of interfering.

If I leave a voicemail for Bob, Sue will call me without Bob being present. If I am able to get Bob on the line, and he is with Sue, he will put the call on speaker phone with Sue. Sue is also the one responding to the emails I have sent requesting training certificates and confirming booking times.

She asks all the typical questions candidates themselves would ask ask: travel, accommodations, what the process is, what the deadlines are for the documents I need, where/when the supplemental training will happen.

Bob said she likes to “be involved.” I told him while I appreciate that, it makes it difficult to complete the onboarding process when she is as involved as she is and I need to have confidence that he can perform independently.

I have let Sue know that I cannot discuss Bob’s employment with her, but she continues to call and email. I have been making a point of calling Bob’s cellphone and not their shared houseline to ensure that I am speaking with Bob only, but they have a shared email.

It’s not uncommon for some of our tradespeople to have their spouses help them throughout the process. Sometimes they are out of town and have poor phone service or they are not very computer literate and need help with that aspect of it all. But I’ve never had a spouse this involved ever, and it’s fairly off-putting, to be honest.

I’m tempted to pull his offer and find another candidate, as this is proving to be much more work on my end managing both Sue and Bob and, to be frank, this is reflecting very poorly on Bob’s capabilities of being independent and competent. In your opinion, what is the best way to proceed?

In most hiring contexts, my response to this would be “nope, absolutely not, a spouse cannot be involved like this, and this is a huge red flag about Bob’s understanding of professional norms.

But you’re in a field where apparently spouses sometimes do get involved and it’s not considered weird. So we should make some allowances for that. But this sounds like it’s way beyond anything that would be considered normal in your field and, what’s more, it’s continued after you’ve told them both that it needs to stop.

If Bob had had cited computer literacy when you asked about it, I’d cut them both more slack, since this sounds like a job where computer literacy isn’t required.

But if this is happening just because Sue “likes to be involved”? After you’ve told them both it’s a problem? That’s alarming. Is she going to “like to be involved” after he’s hired too, when you talk to Bob about salary increases, project assignments, work travel, and so forth?

Of course, it’s possible that there’s a more reasonable explanation that Bob wasn’t comfortable sharing. For example, maybe it’s reading literacy, not just computer literacy … or a brain injury that has left him terrible with this kind of process but great at the kind of work you’re hiring him for … or who knows. But if there is an explanation like that, one of them should have explained it to you, particularly after you clearly told both of them that it needs to stop. The fact that they didn’t, even after you pushed back, is what worries me the most, because it says that they don’t see anything odd about what they’re doing, despite your explanations to the contrary … and that means that you can’t be confident that it won’t continue after Bob is hired.

That said, you do want to be open to the possibility that there’s more to this and they don’t realize that it would be better to explain it than to leave you in the dark.

I’d try saying this to Bob: “We’ve talked about how I need to deal with you directly about our hiring and onboarding process, but your wife has continued to call and email me. While it’s fine for candidates to get a bit of assistance with the process from a spouse, for the most part I need to be dealing with you and only you. I’m concerned that it’s continuing even after we’ve talked about it. Is there anything I need to understand about the situation and what’s driving her involvement?”

But if that doesn’t elicit anything that helps this make more sense, then I’d say: “Talking to two different people is additional work on our end, and we need to ensure we’re hiring someone who will be self-sufficient in the role. So I’m really only able to work with you going forward. Is that something that will work on your end?”

job candidate’s wife keeps contacting me, even after I’ve told her to stop was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes:

I’ve had several situations lately where a colleague has claimed I didn’t tell them something when I did, or that I was supposed to do something when in fact they were supposed to do it. How do I tactfully point this out? In the past, I’ve forwarded emails or tagged them in old chat posts, proving that I had done my part, but I worry that this may come across as defensive. However, while I’ll gladly admit when I’m in error, I’m concerned about being blamed for things that aren’t my error could damage me long-term.

For example, one colleague asked me where an agenda was for a meeting. I said “Oh, I thought you were coming up with the agenda” and the colleague responded that no, I was supposed to. I found an email where I specifically had asked the colleague to create the agenda.

In another example, a different colleague didn’t do something, claiming that I hadn’t asked them to do it. I found a chat between us where I had asked the person to do so. They had responded to the chat about another question I had, so, presumably, they saw it.

It’s not uncommon for people to make this kind of mistake without any ill intent. They just forget or they misunderstood something originally. All you really need to do is to correct the record while still being kind about it. For example:

* “Ahhh, we’d actually decided when we talked last week that you would call Bob. I’ll forward you the email so you have it!”

* “Nope, I did take care of it! I sent around an email updating everyone afterwards, but you might have missed it. I’ll forward it on to you.”

The tone you want there is cheerful and matter-of-fact. You’re forwarding the original email to be helpful — because maybe they missed or accidentally deleted it or so forth — not to be defensive.

You can even take this approach when you don’t think the person made an innocent mistake. In fact, in the face of sketchy behavior, it can be remarkably effective to be cheerful and matter-of-fact. You’re remaining upbeat, but the subtext is “I am on top of my shit and you can’t pull this on me because I will cheerfully call you out on it, and I will do it in a way that no one watching could ever fault me for my tone.” It’s pretty formidable, actually.

how can I tactfully point out to coworkers that a miscommunication error is theirs? was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

lesbian-xephos:

portentsofwoe:

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Big nut energy!

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