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12 Feb 18:39

Fully Cocked: 10 British ‘Cock’ Pubs & Taverns

by Steve
Timmy the Tooth

I've been to Ye Old Cock, it's not really welcoming. Locals in there told me to get the fuck out and I did. The Famous Cock is literally steps off the Highbury and Islington tube station and is a proper place to get robbed. But if you're meeting someone for the Arsenal, that's the pub. Also, it gets smashed on match day.

[ By Steve in Design & Graphics & Branding. ]

Call it a Cock & Bull story but a disproportionate number of British pubs, bars and taverns have ‘cock’ in their name. What’s up with that?

Ye Olde Cock

While we’re on the topic, why don’t these outwardly manly establishments have any femininely-titled counterparts, as in “hen”… what did you think we meant? Anyway, the real reason England boasts so many “cock” pubs has nothing to do with salaciousness, Beavis- er, faithful reader, but for now feel free to feast your eyes upon one of the better known examples: Ye Olde Cock Tavern, on Fleet Street in central London.

It’s uncertain whether the famed 17th-century diarist Samuel Pepys really “drank a cup of Cock ale” at Ye Olde Cock Tavern, though he was known to frequent a number of watering holes in and around Fleet Street. Modern-day publicans should have no hesitation when it comes to getting their Pepys on, however, because what happens at Ye Olde Cock Tavern STAYS at Ye Olde Cock Tavern. Credit photographers quite peculiar, David, and nikoretro for posting the images above at their respective Flickr accounts.

The Famous Cock

Note, if you will, that Pepys wasn’t just enamored of any type of ale. No indeed! The er, barley literate wordsmith expressed a specific hankering for “Cock ale”… not that there’s anything wrong with that. He wasn’t the only Brit-brew-bro to feel that way, either, although with the passage of time the cocks have fled from the beer barrels to the pub signs. Ponder on that if you will, while you ogle Flickr member Ewan Munro‘s shot of The Famous Cock (formerly The Cock, and before that The Old Cock Tavern) near Highbury & Islington station in north London.

Cock O’ The North

So, just what WAS this bewitchingly “cocky” beverage that had the perspicacious Pepys, pen in hand, popping into pub after pub? According to Hannah Woolley, who wrote “The Accomplish’d lady’s delight in preserving, physick, beautifying, and cookery” in 1670, the standard recipe for Cock Ale called for infusing a boiled cock in eight gallons of ale along with raisins, nutmeg, dates, mace, and fortified wine for about a week. And by “cock”, she means “rooster”… that’s almost a relief! Flickr member crabchick brings us this September 2000 image of Cock O’ The North (since renamed the Westbury Park Tavern) from the very cocky city of Bristol.

Cock & Crown

One might say Cock Ale was chicken soup for the drunkard’s soul, and you wouldn’t be far off the mark. Sure, pickling a whole chicken in spiced beer may be weird (not to mention being a gross violation of the German Beer Purity Law of 1516) but the restorative qualities of such con-cock-tions were rather well known by the late 1600s. Flickr member Tim Green snapped the Cock & Crown tavern in Crofton, West Yorkshire, late in 2014.

The Fighting Cocks

Them’s fightin’ words… or fighting cocks, which strikes us as being illegal, unpleasant, and a lyric from ELP’s Karn Evil 9. In any case, a pint of cock ale would really hit the spot iffen you was a’fixin’ to do some fightin’. A case of cock ale, on the other hand, might have you fightin’ to get up off the floor. Seems like a textbook example of the Fight or Flight reflex in action, and the action’s happening at The Fighting Cocks pub in Moseley, Birmingham. Snapped by Flickr member Elliott Brown in December of 2009, this Grade II Listed building dates from the dawn of the 20th century and boasts its own integral cock tower. Make that CLOCK tower, dangnabbit!

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Fully Cocked 10 British Cock Pubs Taverns

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[ By Steve in Design & Graphics & Branding. ]

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14 Jan 14:56

Mysterious death of Kit Carson leaves too many questions unanswered | Daniel Taylor

by Daniel Taylor
Timmy the Tooth

No mystery - he killed himself rather than give those people the justice they deserved. I hope they try him in absentia.

Alleged victims may never get the answers they seek about former coach who was set to face trial for child abuse

Of all the many unanswered questions, there is one that leaps out in particular: why, 15 minutes before he was due to start the first day of his trial for multiple child-abuse charges, was the former football coach Kit Carson driving on a country road 45 miles from where he was supposed to be?

The difficult truth is that his alleged victims may never get the answers they seek about why, rather than taking his place in the dock at Peterborough crown court, he was behind the wheel of his red Mazda on the A1303 between Cambridge and Newmarket and, for reasons as yet unexplained, driving in completely the wrong direction.

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14 Jan 14:40

'To hell with the rest of the world': Neil Warnock attacks government's handling of Brexit - video

Timmy the Tooth

"Old man shakes fist at cloud"

Neil Warnock has used a post-match press conference to attack the government's handling of Brexit negotiations - insisting a clean exit form the EU will be better for Britain 'football-wise', and 'in every aspect'

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14 Jan 14:36

snow angel



snow angel

12 Jan 23:24

List: Top Dinner Suggestions According to a Three-Year-Old’s Eating Habits

by Kristen Mulrooney
Timmy the Tooth

It's funny

A French baguette, but only the inside — NO CRUST

Seven slices of American cheese

A frozen waffle, cooked

A frozen waffle, raw

The ricotta layer of an entire lasagna

Half a stick of butter

Four very specific Oreos

Pizza, just the cheese

Applesauce through a straw

Macaroni and cheese, the “real” kind that cooks in a plastic cup in the microwave

A $4.99 half-pint of organic blueberries

A cheese quesadilla dipped in maple syrup

Gum, swallowed

Carrot sticks, not swallowed

Chicken noodle soup with oyster crackers, minus the soup

The jelly half of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Toast cut into four triangles: one with butter, one with jam, one with mayonnaise, and one with pepperoni

Pizza, just the sauce

Around the edges of a cheeseburger without ever actually biting into the meat

A Swiss Miss hot cocoa packet

One bite each of three apples

A grilled cheese sandwich, served with a cup of orange juice so he can soak the sandwich before eating it

Spaghetti bolognese with the sauce rinsed off in the bathroom sink after he pretends he needs to wash his hands

Cheez-Its aged in the car seat for three weeks

Birthday cake even though nobody we know has a birthday coming up

Something he’s allergic to

Teddy Grahams eaten from a bowl on the floor like a dog

The dog’s actual food

Sour cream that he thought was ice cream and continued eating to save face

Those little packets of coffee creamer they have at diners

The poisonous red berries on those bushes outside

Cheerios and milk eaten from the Lightning McQueen cereal bowl, and if you can’t find the Lightning McQueen cereal bowl you might as well go kill yourself

Soap

Ketchup licked off a matchbox car

A bite of whatever you’re eating, even if you’re both eating the same thing

11 Jan 19:34

15 Salmon Recipes to Celebrate America's Favorite Fish

by Rabi Abonour
Timmy the Tooth

Just fucking eat it.


These pan-seared, poached, broiled, and raw salmon recipes will please just about everyone. Read More
11 Jan 19:30

If You Liked Tough Mudder, You’ll Love the Latest Obstacle Course for Adults… NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION

by Riane Konc
Timmy the Tooth

Just the title.

From the minds that brought you TOUGH MUDDER, the WARRIOR DASH, and SPARTAN RACE comes … NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION — the latest in ultra-tough obstacle-course competitions for adults!

If you love an extreme challenge, then NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION is the obstacle course for you. Forget what you’ve heard about those other races… participants in NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION are given the ULTIMATE warrior’s task: just making it through a single goddamn day!

Sound crazy?! It literally is!

But that’s not all: while trying to complete the course, our Serotonin Spartans will also have to deal with our world-famous obstacles! In Tough Mudder, those obstacles include the Mud Mile, Everest 2.0, and a barbed-wire crawl! In Spartan Race, you’ll face the sled drag, the seven-foot wall, and the Hercules Hoist! In NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION, you’ll face our world-famous obstacles like PUT ON SOME PANTS.

The PUT ON SOME PANTS obstacle is a brutal test of will, so don’t worry: if you can’t manage to get into a real pair of jeans, you’ll be allowed to continue the race if you can at least put on a DIFFERENT pair of pants. Fresh sweats are at least… something! But that’s not all …

Once you’ve PUT ON SOME PANTS, there’s no time to relax! Hop the Unexplained Pain Partition, sprint up Restlessness Road, and you’ll run straight into your first WATER OBSTACLE! Specifically, the water is in a SHOWER, and the obstacle is you need to TAKE A SHOWER. As with all water obstacles, we have a crew standing by for emergencies, but also to shout encouragement, like, “Come on, man, it’s such a small thing, but it will make you feel like a new person. It’ll take five minutes. Please? For me?”

WHEW. Two obstacles down, a lifetime more to go! Hope you didn’t get too cozy after that last water obstacle, because things are about to get messy! Scale the Crag of Uncontrollable Crying, crawl through the Mud of Muddled Thinking, and just like that, you’re coming up to Obstacle 3, which is GO OUTSIDE FOR LIKE TWO SECONDS. You don’t get to move on in the course until you GO OUTSIDE FOR LIKE TWO SECONDS and remember what real air smells like! Flowers exist, you idiot! Take a big damn sniff!

This course is RELENTLESS, but we know our Dopamine Divas and Dudes won’t give up! Dig deep to sprint through Anxiety Alley, take a break with some Off-Road Sobbing, and then muscle up and get yourself through Obstacle #4: TAKE YOUR MEDS. No excuses this time! Oh, you were starting to feel better so you decided to skip a few days? Look: you can either dominate this obstacle and TAKE YOUR MEDS, or you can have brain zaps and finish the course nauseous and weepy. Your choice, Wellbutrin Warrior!

If you think that was tough, then think again. You’re going to shimmy through the Trouble Concentrating Trap, Scale the Wall of Unexplainable Sadness, and then, oh boy, here comes Obstacle #5: GIVE A TRUTHFUL ANSWER TO YOUR DOCTOR WHEN SHE ASKS YOU ABOUT YOUR DRINKING! This word game is more of a thinking-person’s obstacle, but careful — if any of our officials catch you using the phrases “a few” or “a moderate amount,” then we’re blowing a whistle and you go RIGHT BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF THE COURSE!

Obstacle #6 is deceptively simple, but it’s the one where most people fail. After completing the Loss of Interest Ladder Climb, you’re going to hit the penultimate obstacle, the one that requires you to dig into your deepest well of strength and STOP LISTENING TO MITSKI. Yeah. We went there. Dig deep, Angsty Athletes, and STOP LISTENING TO MITSKI. IT’S NOT HELPING ANYTHING.

The rare few who survive obstacle #6 will round the Bend of Blubbering, climb the Wall of Waking at 3 p.m., and head for the grand finale. And for the seventh and final obstacle, you’re gonna get MESSY! Specifically, you will meet with one close friend in the middle of a muddy field, and they will ask how you are doing. Here’s where it gets messy: to complete the course, you must GIVE THEM AN HONEST ANSWER THAT DOESN’T ATTEMPT TO PROTECT THEIR FEELINGS BY DIMINISHING YOUR OWN PAIN. Wowza! This obstacle is just about impossible, but you’ll have fans cheering you on from the sidelines, yelling your name and chanting, “BY PUSHING AWAY YOUR FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES, YOU ARE TURNING DEPRESSION’S LIE THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU INTO A SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY. FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, GIVE YOUR FRIENDS THE CHANCE TO BE THERE FOR YOU!” Catchy, right?

FAQ

I can’t find the “sign up” tab on your website. Where is it?
You can’t find the “sign up” tab on our website because no one signs up for this. Participants join our competition not so much by signing up as they do by suddenly waking up one day to find that this is just… what they’re doing now.

How much does it cost to participate in NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION?
Depends on how good your insurance is! But… probably a lot!

My grandmother or grandfather participated in NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION. Am I guaranteed a spot?
This isn’t the Ivy League — we don’t guarantee spots for legacies! That said, the more people in your immediate family who have participated in NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION, the more likely it is that you will, too.

During my time on the NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION obstacle course, I encountered an unexpected obstacle that I hadn’t been warned about. Please explain.
We don’t really know what to say, except that sometimes small, unexpected things happen on the NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION course, and your main job is to just try and deal with it instead of what you usually do, which is to turn a harmless event into a referendum on why you’re undeserving of love.

Are performance-enhancing drugs allowed?
Performance-enhancing drugs are not for everyone, but a lot of competitors find them to be extremely effective. If you’re competing in NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION, we strongly encourage you to talk with your doctor about the use of performance-enhancing drugs.

How long will NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION take?
Some racers will only stop by for a few weeks, while some will spend the rest of their lives navigating the course! Which will you be? It’s best not to think about it!

I trained for weeks to face the “TURN OFF MITSKI: IT’S NOT HELPING AND YOU KNOW IT” obstacle, but when I arrived, my course said that obstacle wasn’t available. What gives?
Availability of the TURN OFF MITSKI: IT’S NOT HELPING AND YOU KNOW IT obstacle varies by region. Your region may not have the TURN OFF MITSKI obstacle; depending on your location, you may instead have: TURN OFF ELLIOTT SMITH or TURN OFF JULIEN BAKER or TURN OFF LANA DEL REY or TURN OFF THE SMITHS or TURN OFF THE ANTLERS or TURN OFF SUFJAN STEVENS or TURN OFF JONI MITCHELL or TURN OFF THE MOUNTAIN GOATS or TURN OFF A SPOTIFY STATION THAT JUST PLAYS AIR RAID SIRENS. Please inquire beforehand to see which challenge you will face.

My friends keep casually talking about how they know what the competition is like because they’ve totally competed in NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION before, even though I know for a fact that they haven’t. What are they talking about?
Your friends are confused. They’ve actually competed in our sister course, THE SADNESS RACE, which is infinitely shorter and easier and is only superficially affiliated with NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION.

Is your course available seasonally or year round?
Yes.

11 Jan 17:35

Turn Speckled Bananas Into Spectacular Banana Pudding

by Stella Parks
Timmy the Tooth

DAVID... It's your dream come true.


Served warm, this stovetop banana custard is comfort food at its best, but it can also be chilled and whipped into a sophisticated mousse-like dessert. Read More
11 Jan 00:59

The forgotten story of … Di Jones and the footballers who died of tetanus

by Simon Burnton
Timmy the Tooth

I remember when Tetanus was all the rage. Those damn long blue bricks were the killers.

The infection was a serious threat to British players in the years before a vaccination was introduced, claiming several lives, including that of the Manchester City full-back in 1902

In the past five recorded years, there have been 29 confirmed cases of tetanus in England and Wales and two fatalities, both women in their 80s. Vaccination has been so successful that the vicious, fatal effect of the infection has been forgotten.

But before a vaccination was introduced in the UK in 1961 tetanus was startlingly common and, as it is possible for even the most trivial wound to lead to infection, it made almost any activity potentially fatal. To give a few British-based examples: in 1923 a seven-year-old died after hurting his hand on a toy pistol; in 1927 a farmer died after falling over a pig; the previous year a 62-year-old woman died after scraping her elbow while picking peas; and in August 1899 a man died from an injury sustained while playing the leisurely garden game of quoits. His was the fourth death from tetanus in Kent that week.

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27 Dec 18:07

Sigi Schmid's contribution helped shape the very ground MLS stands on

by Graham Parker

The most successful manager in MLS history, with Bruce Arena, topped a tree including virtually every active coach in the league

In the summer of 2016, as the LA Galaxy and Seattle Sounders prepared to face each other in an MLS regular season game, a graphic did the rounds showing the profound influence that the two coaches, LA’s Bruce Arena and Seattle’s Sigi Schmid, had had on the coaching culture of the still young league.

The family tree of young coaches in MLS who had either played for, or coached with, one of the two men, was so extensive that it represented virtually all the active coaching body in the league. The likes of Patrick Vieira, then at NYCFC, represented an extreme exception to the Arena/Schmid rule.

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24 Dec 17:54

MLS champions Atlanta United appoint Frank De Boer as new head coach

by Press Association
Timmy the Tooth

LOL... this won't end well. He's a joke manager.

  • Dutchman’s last job was brief spell with Crystal Palace
  • De Boer replaces Tata Martino, who left after title win

MLS champions Atlanta United have appointed Frank De Boer as their new head coach.

The Dutchman is back in management for the first time since his short-lived spell in the Premier League at Crystal Palace at the start of last season. De Boer was fired by the Eagles in September last year after five games and 77 days in charge. Palace had lost all four of their Premier League matches without scoring a single goal during his time in charge.

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19 Dec 00:10

Transfer news: sacking ends José Mourinho's record 895-day hotel stay

by Guardian Staff
Timmy the Tooth

Me reading this article and seeing that the room had a river view: "I HATE THE PHRASE RIVER VIEW".

The former Manchester United manager has been living in a £600-a-night hotel since July 2016 – racking up an enormous bill

Name: The Lowry hotel.

Age: Opened in 2001.

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19 Dec 00:06

José Mourinho just the latest casualty in Ed Woodward’s failing regime | Daniel Taylor

by Daniel Taylor
Timmy the Tooth

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
(breathe)
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Manager did not help himself but the man in charge, the owners and the players at Manchester United have to share the blame

If you ever needed to know what a mess Manchester United have made of replacing Sir Alex Ferguson, perhaps we can start with the tragicomedy that there are still 194 days before the six-year contract handed to David Moyes was supposed to lapse. Moyes lasted nine months and, in the process, seemed to age 10 years.

Louis van Gaal gave Old Trafford two seasons of drift. And now José Mourinho is history, too – with his lip curled, his bank account swelled by a reputed £15m in severance pay and a very public decline in which he demonstrated that the higher a man climbs the more you see of his backside.

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14 Dec 22:37

How to Make the Best Holiday Cookie Assortment

by Stella Parks
Timmy the Tooth

I have the secret right here: bake whatever with friends and family.


The best Christmas cookie assortments deliver a range of textures and flavors and a long shelf life, for cookies that can be enjoyed all holiday season long. Read More
14 Dec 18:52

Shell Game: How to Serve Oysters on the Half-Shell at Home

by Sasha Marx
Timmy the Tooth

Weird fact: the best place to get oysters in Tacoma is the Whole Foods. Best prices, selection, etc. I have shopped everywhere and that's just the place.


To properly serve oysters on the half-shell at home, take care with the simple details. Read More
12 Dec 20:28

Sicilian Christmas Pizza (Sfincione) – Finally, a Pizza with More Carbs

by foodwishes@yahoo.com (Chef John)
Timmy the Tooth

I have anchovies!

Topping a thick-crust pizza with breadcrumbs might sound like a strange idea, but it really is the secret sauce behind this Sicilian Christmas Pizza. Well, that and the actual secret sauce. Speaking of secrets, whether you tell your friends and family that the sauce is made with onions and anchovies is your business, but if you think that’ll turn them off, then maybe keep it to yourself, at least until they realize it’s one of the most delicious things they’ve ever had. Hey, all’s fair in love, war, and pizza.

Besides the crispy, cheesy, crumb topping, and super savory sauce, the other secret to this amazing pizza is the extremely wet and sticky dough. You could use a more standard pizza dough for this, but it won’t be the same experience. One reason we can get away with putting breadcrumbs on the top is the contrast between that texture, and the feather-light, spongy crust. Besides, if you use enough oil on your fingers, it’s really not that hard to work with anyway.

As usual, I’m not claiming any kind of authenticity here, so I don’t feel bad that I didn’t use casciocavallo, which is the traditional cheese for this pizza. I ended up using mozzarella, aged provolone, and pecorino, which I think work very well on this, but having said that, use whatever melty cheeses you like. The same goes for adding other toppings, but I can’t imagine anything making this any more amazing that it already is. Either way, whether it’s for Christmas, or another occasion, I really do hope you give this a try soon. Enjoy!


Ingredients for a 18" X 13" Sheet Pan:

For the dough:
2 cups warm water (105 to 110 F.)
1 package dry active yeast
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 teaspoon sugar
3 tablespoons olive oil
4 1/3 cups all-purpose flour, or more as needed to achieve a very wet, sticky dough

For the sauce:
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 large yellow onions, diced
1 teaspoon red-pepper flakes
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon tomato paste
1 teaspoon dried oregano
9 oil-packed anchovy fillets
1 1/2 cups marinara or tomato sauce
1/4 cup water to rinse sauce container
salt to taste
Note: For best results, sauce should be highly seasoned

For the crumb topping:
3/4 cup fine plain dry bread crumbs
1 cup finely grated pecorino cheese
1 tablespoon anchovy oil
2 tablespoons olive oil

For the pizza:
3 ounces grated mozzarella
3 ounces aged provolone cheese

- Bake at 400 F. for about 35 minutes (go as long as you can without the crumbs on top burning, so that the crust cooks as much as possible)
-- For best results, slide cooked pizza on to a cooling rack to prevent the bottom from getting soggy. 
--- If bottom gets soggy, pizza slices can be reheated in a dry pan, which will crisp up the crust nicely.
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10 Dec 16:54

Refugee Baggage: Suitcase Dioramas Show Dark Scenes from Countries Fled

by Kurt
[ By WebUrbanist in Art & Sculpture & Craft. ]

The project of a Syrian-born artist and architect and an Iraqi-born author, this installation invites viewers to imagine what refugees leave behind when the pack up the few things they can carry and flee an oppressive regime or war-torn country.

The UNPACKED: Refugee Baggage installation by Mohamad and Ahmed Badr “sculpturally re-creates rooms, homes, buildings and landscapes that have suffered the ravages of war. Each is embedded with the voices and stories of real people — from Afghanistan, Congo, Syria, Iraq and Sudan — who have escaped those same rooms and buildings to build a new life in America.”

Visitors can listen to the stories of refugees on headsets attached to each diorama in the series, complete with “miniature cars, tiny living room sets, and even fake plants adorn the open luggage—installations which each” took months to complete.

The work hits at all levels: the scenes look small and fragile, familiar but derelict, while framing them inside baggage conjures images of flight. Together with the audio, they are powerful awareness-raising tools in the fight to humanize refugee situations.

More about its creators: “A Syrian artist and architect, Mohamad was born in Damascus, raised in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, and educated in the Midwestern United States. Expressing the juxtaposition of East and West within him, Hafez’s art reflects the political turmoil in the Middle East through the compilation of found objects, paint and scrap metal. His work has been profiled by NPR , New Yorker Magazine, and The New York Times. With four highly acclaimed exhibits under his belt, Hafez creates surrealistic Middle Eastern streetscapes that are architectural in their appearance yet politically charged in their content.”

“Ahmed is a writer, social entrepreneur, poet, and former refugee from Iraq. With work featured by Instagram, NPR, The Huffington Post, Adobe, United Nations, and others, Ahmed explores the intersection between creativity, the refugee experience, and youth empowerment. Ahmed is attending Wesleyan University, where he is a Fellow at the Allbritton Center for the Study of Public Life. Ahmed is the host of TOGETHER, a UN Migration Agency podcast that is centered around the stories of refugee and migrant youth across the world.”

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[ By WebUrbanist in Art & Sculpture & Craft. ]

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10 Dec 16:40

Welcome to Our Modern Hospital Where If You Want to Know a Price You Can Go Fuck Yourself

by Alex Baia

Welcome to America General Hospital! Seems you have an oozing head injury there. Let’s check your insurance. Okay, quick “heads up” — ha! — that your plan may not cover everything today. What’s that? You want a reasonable price quote, upfront, for our services? Sorry, let me explain a hospital to you: we give you medical care, then we charge whatever the hell we want for it.

If you don’t like that, go fuck yourself and die.

Honestly, there’s no telling what you’ll pay today. Maybe $700. Maybe $70,000. It’s a fun surprise! Maybe you’ll go to the ER for five minutes, get no treatment, then we’ll charge you $5,000 for an ice pack and a bandage. Then your insurance company will be like, “This is nuts. We’re not paying this.” Who knows how hard you’ll get screwed? You will, in three months.

Fun story: This one time we charged two parents $18,000 for some baby formula. LOL! We pull that shit all the time. Don’t like it? Don’t bring a baby, asshole.

Oh, I get it: you’re used to knowing a clear price for products and services. The difference is that medicine is complicated and scary — unlike, say, flying hundreds of people in a steel tube across an ocean, or selling them a six-ounce hand-held computer that plays movies and talks to satellites. Anyway, no need to think this through rationally while you’re vulnerable, right? Your head is really gushing, ma’am.

Sure we could start posting prices and discussing our costs, but then it turns into a public debate about transparency, and people get all huffy and self-righteous about $15 pills of Tylenol, $93 to turn on a single goddamned light, or $5,000 worth of sanitary gloves. We’d rather just mail you a bill later for $97,000, full of obscure medical codes you can’t understand. Oh, you like understanding things? Here, maybe this will help:

Hit your head, and talk to a doctor for one minute? $2,500, you idiot.

Want your pesky appendix out? That’ll probably be $33,611. Or it could be $180,000. Shrug. Don’t know. Don’t care.

Need an hour in the ER? How does $15,000-$50,000, sound? Hint: we don’t give a piss how it sounds you stupid fucking helpless human wallet.

Our medical system strikes you as “insane?” Well, you can’t do much about that now. Except of course to go fuck yourself. Yes, ma’am, as a matter of fact, we do have a special room where you can go fuck yourself. Yes, it does cost money to use the room, and no I cannot tell you how much. Want a hint? It’s between $1 and $35,000 per minute. Will you be reserving the go fuck yourself room?

Oh, you think you think we’re cruel and illogical? Well, no one forced you to come here. It’s your decision, you head-injured meatball. Feel free to go out into the parking lot and just die. I suggest you do that out in section F. Try to lean your corpse against a light pole. Our dead body disposal fee is $3.75 and is not covered by your shitty, confusing, out-of-network medical plan.

So, will you be dying in our parking lot today, you pathetic, impotent, walking insurance code? Okay, great! Your husband will get a bill for that soon, and if he doesn’t like it, he can fuck himself too.

10 Dec 16:40

Your Future Grandchildren’s Responses to How Dating Worked Before Apps

by Amy Collier

“Wait, wait, wait. You just had to guess if they were attracted to you? That’s terrible.”

“How did you pass time on public transit?”

“I don’t have to ask my friends if someone likes me. Everyone I know has DateChip installed in their brains.”

“Tell me again about the part with the bars.”

“I mean, sure, I’ve heard of a few people who’ve met that way. But only after noticing they were single through DateChip’s surveillance mode. How did you know if someone was single? You had to figure it out? What does that entail?”

“Wow, that sounds really awkward and anxiety-inducing.”

“I get that it’s ‘just how things were done back then’ but all of this lead up to asking someone out sounds vaguely like stalking to me, in this the year 2072.”

“What is flirting?… Oh, so it’s one of those old slang terms like necking or petting. What other old slang terms were there?”

“‘Hitting on’ doesn’t mean what I would guess it means, right? Why is it called that?”

“So what’s the difference between flirting with someone and just being nice to them and joking around cause you want to be friends?”

“That sounds like a nearly imperceptible difference. Seems like something that would be easy to waste hours on with obsessive analysis, about which you would only really be sure retroactively. If then.”

“How much did you have to flirt and hit on before you were going steady?”

“Sorry, I forgot which terms were from when. How much did you have to flirt and hit on before you were hanging out?”

“But how did you know for sure it was a date and not just spending time as friends?”

“You had to ‘feel it out’? But wasn’t that what all the flirting and hitting on was supposed to accomplish?”

“Yes, I am familiar with the term plausible deniability.”

“This is madness. I’m so glad I didn’t exist during that time period. If I had to choose between DateChip and indoor plumbing, I honestly don’t know what I would pick. Times were really rough back then.”

“Yeah, no, fuckboys are still a thing.”

10 Dec 15:13

I stand with Raheem Sterling

by imothyt
Have I witnessed racism in football? You bet.  On a trip to Liverpool some of the supporters I was travelling with started singing about “gassing the Jews” until one of my traveling companions reminded them that what they were doing…
10 Dec 14:48

'The wisdom was you needed a Beckham': What can Atlanta’s rise teach MLS?

by Graham Parker
Timmy the Tooth

No country for old men

Graham Parker speaks with Atlanta United president Darren Eales on continuing their improbable rise and learning from their peers

It could have been so different.

As the second-half wore on, and it became increasingly obvious that Atlanta were going to win their first MLS Cup on Saturday night, it was possible for thoughts to drift to other phantom versions of this final in other cities and stadiums.

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10 Dec 14:27

Racism in football: have you witnessed abuse at a match in the UK?

by Guardian readers

After a troubling week with two high-profile incidents in the Premier League, we want to hear from fans

Raheem Sterling says sections of the media “fuel racism” in football after being the subject of alleged racist abuse during a Premier League match on Saturday. The England and Manchester City forward wrote on his Instagram account that young black footballers are treated differently to their white counterparts and, because of reporting like this, he expects no better from fans.

Related: Raheem Sterling has kicked up a storm but as ever the outrage will pass | Stan Collymore

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05 Dec 00:00

Kimchi Pancakes – Come for the Savory Pancake, Stay for the Dancing Fish Flakes

by foodwishes@yahoo.com (Chef John)
Timmy the Tooth

Kind of a kimchi okonomiyaki. It's a good idea, to be honest, but I would certainly add okonomiyaki sauce and kewpie mayo on top.

I remember getting a request for kimchi pancakes many years ago, and while I recall being intrigued, apparently not enough to actually research the recipe, and do a video for it. That all changed after seeing it on a local bar menu, where Michele and I enjoyed not one, but two orders of these incredibly tasty, and visually thrilling, savory pancakes.

I loved the taste and texture, but what really got my attention were the dancing bonito flakes on top. I’d never seen anything quite like that, and found it as mesmerizing, as I did delicious. As I mentioned in the video, those kimchi pancakes came with a little drizzle of spicy mayonnaise, which depending on how decadent of an experience you’re going for, isn’t a bad idea, especially if you plan on frying these up, and cutting them in wedges to serve as a snack at a party.

If you want a thicker, and more substantial kimchi pancake, you want to use less liquid, or more flour, so that your batter isn't quite as runny as mine. Personally, I enjoy this style a little more, since you end up with a thinner pancake that’s crispy around the edges, but still moist and tender inside. Having said that, you should definitely experiment with different textures to see what you like best.

These are also a perfect catchall for leftover meat and vegetables. Just chop it up, toss it in, and see what happens. Speaking of seeing what happens, if you want to watch fish flakes dance, you’ll have to find some bonito, which means finding an Asian market, or buying them online, and I highly recommend you do just that. Either way, I really do hope you give these a try soon. Enjoy!


Ingredients for 4 Appetizer Size Kimchi Pancakes:
1 1/2 cup chopped drained kimchi (12 ounce jar)
1 large egg
3 tablespoons kimchi juice
1/4 cup water
1 teaspoon brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon sesame oil
1/2 cup thinly sliced green onions
about 3/4 cup all purpose flour, or as needed
4 tablespoons bonito flakes for the top, optional
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03 Dec 23:54

Ada Hegerberg: first women’s Ballon d’Or marred as winner is asked to twerk

by Ed Aarons
Timmy the Tooth

He then "apologized" by saying the "I apologize if you were offended" thing. He's a fucking asshole.

• Host DJ Martin Solveig has since apologised for his comment
• Luka Modric won men’s award to break Ronaldo-Messi duopoly
The 100 best female footballers in the world 2018: part one

Luka Modric ended a decade of dominance by Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo in the Ballon d’Or but the Croatian’s win was overshadowed when the inaugural winner of the women’s award, Ada Hegerberg, was asked to twerk live on stage by the host DJ, Martin Solveig.

Related: The 100 best female footballers in the world 2018

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28 Nov 15:29

Lemon Gingersnap Posset – A Lemon Pudding to Die For

by foodwishes@yahoo.com (Chef John)
Timmy the Tooth

Looks delish!

This lemon posset seems too good to be true. Not only does it feature a rich, thick, luxurious texture, and intense, clean citrus taste, but it’s also egg-free, starch-free, and gelatin-free. As if that wasn’t enough, it only takes three ingredients, and could not be easier to make. Notwithstanding its calorie count, this may be the perfect special occasion dessert.

Like I said in the video, I used lemon since my posset was being paired with gingersnap crumbs, but the first time I ever had this it was done with lime and graham cracker crumbs, and was equally stellar. Next time I think I’ll try it with both, since once you experience this magical mixture, there’s always going to be a next time.  

This reminds me a lot of lemon curd, especially with how perfectly it pairs with fresh seasonal fruit, but the lemon flavor is even more intense, despite actually using less juice. It’s also significantly faster and easier to make. So yes, this does seem too good to be true, and yet somehow it is, which is why I really do hope you give this lemon posset a try soon. Enjoy!


Makes 4 Portions of Lemon Gingersnap Posset:
2 cups heavy cream
2/3 cup white sugar
1 generous tablespoon grated lemon zest
1/4 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
1/2 cup crushed gingersnaps, or other crunchy cookie
4 or 5 teaspoons melted butter, or enough to moisten crumbs
whipped cream and seasonal fruit to garnish
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28 Nov 15:07

'A message for my lovers': Mourinho hits back at critics – video

Timmy the Tooth

Wounded Mourinho is best Mourinho.

Manchester United manager José Mourinho was in a combative mood after his team’s narrow Champions League win over Young Boys. Despite qualifying for the knockout rounds with a game to spare, United’s performance was far from convincing, with Marouane Fellaini’s injury-time goal the difference. But Mourinho defended his record in Europe, saying: ‘I play Champions League 14 years, and I qualify 14 times. The two years I wasn’t in the Champions League, I won the Europa League twice.’

He also stood by his decision to drop star players Alexis Sánchez, Paul Pogba and Romelu Lukaku from the starting lineup, claiming those who had played ‘gave everything’

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28 Nov 14:40

Sol Campbell finally gets his chance to manage after years in the shadows | Sachin Nakrani

by Sachin Nakrani
Timmy the Tooth

He's one of the weirdest people in football. He's the human version of disquieting. For example, in his instagram posts he often takes 360 selfie videos in which he whispers weird shit. None of that, however, has ruled out Joey Barton getting a job and Joey Barton isn't just a weirdo, he's a racist, a gambling addict, violent, abusive, drunk, and he loves Morrissey, but is also a huge homophobe. Joey Barton is one of the worst people on the planet. If he can get a job Sol Campbell should get a job.Still, I'd be surprised if this ends well for Sol.

The former England defender has had to deal with rejection and said he would take an unpaid role. Now he is taking over at the Football League’s bottom club

Back in July 2017, I sat down with Sol Campbell at an Italian restaurant off the King’s Road. I had interviewed him at the same venue six years earlier and, having maintained a line of contact with the former Arsenal and England defender in the interim, our latest meeting was designed to be nothing more than an informal chat on a warm summer’s afternoon.

It came as a surprise, then, when Campbell used the opportunity to open up on his desire to become a manager. Normally reserved and a little withdrawn, he spoke like a man at his wits’ end. He had standing, qualifications and coaching experience but simply could not nail down a job, and such was his desperation to do so he claimed he would be willing to work for free. “I’m up for that,” Campbell said. “I’m itching to start, I just need a chance, even just an interview in which I can say: ‘Take me for free and I’ll show you what I can do.’”

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28 Nov 14:30

Our Favorite Splurge-Worthy Gifts for Cooks and Food Lovers

by Ariel Kanter
Timmy the Tooth

Ha! I asked Avie for a waffle iron for Christmas.


Buy your way into any food lover's heart with one of these big-ticket holiday gifts for the kitchen. Read More
26 Nov 19:23

Nera: The World’s First Fully 3D-Printed Motorcycle Features Airless Tires

by SA Rogers
Timmy the Tooth

Watch the video, that looks like a scary ride. It wiggles all over the place. No thanks.

[ By SA Rogers in Conceptual & Futuristic & Technology. ]

All black, electric and completely 3D-printed: BigRep’s Nera Motorcycle is here, and ready to change the game. The electronic components of this brand new, futuristic-looking motorbike are the only elements that weren’t created on large-scale 3D printers. Flexible bumpers replace traditional suspension systems, and those custom tires are as cool as they are intriguing.

BigRep is a leader in industrial large-scale additive manufacturing, and the Nera was created by the company’s NowLab innovation consultancy.

“The Nera combines several innovations developed by Nowlab, such as the airless tire, functional integration and embedded sensor technology,” says Nowlab’s Daniel Büning. “This bike and our other prototypes push the limits of engineering creativity and will reshape AM technology as we know it.”

The Near E-bike is preternaturally sleek, its small electric motor hidden within the rear wheel and the batteries embedded into its bodywork to eliminate the bulk of an engine. 15 different parts were printed to assemble the bike, and it weighs a total of just 132 pounds. But no performance statistics are available just yet – probably because the bike is just proof of concept to show off the possibilities of 3D printing.

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[ By SA Rogers in Conceptual & Futuristic & Technology. ]

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26 Nov 19:21

How to make croissants: the perfect pastry, perfected

by Susan Reid
Timmy the Tooth

Try it!

How to make croissants via @kingarthurflour

Want to take your holiday baking to new heights? The Holiday 2018 issue of Sift magazine features lots of special-occasion recipes. And no baking adventure is more impressive than creating the light, shatteringly delicate layers found in buttery croissants. If you’ve ever wondered how to make croissants, we’re happy to share our step-by-step sequence for […]

The post How to make croissants appeared first on Flourish - King Arthur Flour.