This will come as no surprise to most of you but when it comes to terrorism in the U.S., you are nearly 2x more likely to die at the hands of a neo-nazi racist terrorist than you are to die at the hands of a Muslim extremist terrorist.
Are you fucking kidding me? Like, no, Shakespeare wouldn’t tweet a sonnet cause 140 characters is a bit short for that. Wrong medium. But you know what he would have? A very active twitter FULL OF DICK PUNS AND YOUR MOM JOKES okay. (And probably also a blog for the sonnets and longer works, that cross-posts links to twitter anyway.)
Get out of here with that pretentious anti-technology bullshit.
He’d rock the fuck out of memes. Don’t deny it.
Exit, pursued by a doge.
much run wow
I don’t understand people who try to make Shakespeare into a pretentious thing cause he was basically an uneducated dick-joke making dude for the common masses. His historical plays are straight up fanfiction. There’s a scene in Macbeth where two guards are having a conversation as a dude pees on a wall. Get out of here with your Shakespeare snobbery.
ALL OF THIS
Also, the comment ‘Exit, pursued by a doge’ alone makes this worth reblogging :D
Heck, the line that’s based on, “Exit, pursued by bear”, only exists because Shakespeare couldn’t think of any other way to get rid of the character, so opted to have him attacked by a bear, which did not exist in the play before that moment.
He literally made a bear appear out of thin air, just to kill off a character, purely due to writer’s block.
“Fiona had always been shot as a waif – tendrils of hair blowing (dressed in lingerie), out in some sort of lily field. She told me she wanted to chuck that scene and be a warrior woman in a suit of armor.”
“No writing is wasted. Did you know that sourdough from San Francisco is leavened partly by a bacteria called lactobacillus sanfrancisensis? It is native to the soil there, and does not do well elsewhere. But any kitchen can become an ecosystem. If you bake a lot, your kitchen will become a happy home to wild yeasts, and all your bread will taste better. Even a failed loaf is not wasted. Likewise, cheese makers wash the dairy floor with whey. Tomato gardeners compost with rotten tomatoes. No writing is wasted: the words you can’t put in your book can wash the floor, live in the soil, lurk around in the air. They will make the next words better.”
This is nothing. For a while I was pretty sure I was cycling between two universes in which the only distinguishing characteristics was the presence of three, versus 4 cups from the set of drinking glasses in the house.
“You need to look up the Berenst#in Bears problem.”
It was this innocent comment left on a post about parallel universes that first pulled by Rob Schwarz of Stranger Dimensionsinto one of the internet’s strangest theories. It involves The Berenstein Bears,a loving family of anthropomorphized bears who taught children life lessons via hundreds of picture books and two TV shows. But the problem is they aren’t The Berenstein Bears, they’re The Berenstain Bears.
Though a startling number of people remember the name as BerenstEin, it’s in fact spelled BerenstAin, just like the authors Stan and Jan Berenstain. But is it possible that so many people are just wrong about the title? Back in 2012, blogger Reeceoffered up another explanation: Some of us have recently crossed over from a parallel universe.
He argues:
… at some time in the last 10 years or so, reality has been tampered with and history has been retroactively changed. The bears really were called the “BerenstEin Bears” when we were growing up, but now reality has been altered such that the name of the bears has been changed post hoc.
Somehow, we have all undergone a π/2 phase change in all 4 dimensions so that we moved to the stAin hexadectant, while our counterparts moved to our hexadectant (stEin). They are standing around expressing their confusion about the “Berenstein Bears” and how they all remember “Berenstain Bears” on the covers growing up.
Those who remember the name as “Berenstain” are native to this “A” Universe, while those who are sure it’s “Berenstein” traveled over from the “E” Universe.
More at avclub.com
This is… fucked up
Man couldn’t we have had a cooler dimensional change?
This is some Fringe shit here.
I want to believe. (And I do, because it was always BerenstEin Bears. I know, because I had all the books. I even read them to my kids, so the post-hoc reality change happened in the last 20 years.)
do u ever start typing out a long opinion post and feel very heated and then halfway through realize nothing matters and time is a flat circle and whatever i’m tired
okay this story falls under the ‘sarah is bonkers & has to make everything she does way more difficult than it should be’ category of life decisions
so this happened when i was an undergrad, & i lived in an apartment with this other girl in the same town my parents live in, which was actually an ok setup because i could borrow their car & get free food without having to listen to my father snore or play james taylor’s christmas album. my mother belonged to this farming co-op thing where she’d get a bunch of weird ass veggies & stuff once a week from local farmers (& i grew up in arizona so like. sometimes it was weird shit). & i often got all the extra weird food my parents didnt want to bother cooking because i was a poor college student & didn’t complain about it.
so one week my mom picks up her veggie order & gets this giant monstrous spaghetti squash, its HUGE. my mother HATES spaghetti squash for whatever reason. hates it. naturally she offers to give it to me & i’m like ‘yeah ok sure’ & she’s all ‘sarah i can walk you through how to cook this but i don’t want it in my house i hate these things but tell me if you need help cooking this’ & i’m like ‘MOM i can cook a fucking squash it’s fine i’m 20 years old’
& i become VERY DETERMINED to cook this damn thing because my mother had implied that i didn’t know what i was doing & was helpless & just floundering my way through life. how cooking a giant evil orange oblong squash was gonna prove this i can’t tell you but that’s what i thought. i think i wanted to demonstrate that i was RESOURCEFUL and HEALTHY and ATE ADULT FOOD SHE DOESN’T LIKE.
naturally it was NOT FINE.
i bring the damn thing home & decide it’s too big to really do anything with so i’ll cut it open before i cook it because that’ll be easiest. i DID NOT read any directions on how to cook a spaghetti squash because i was determined to DO IT MYSELF LIKE AN ADULT WHO EATS SPAGHETTI SQUASH AND NEEDS NO HELP FROM NOBODY.
so i pretty quickly realize that i’m pretty unable to actually cut the squash open. it’s massive & has a thick rind & i can’t get a knife into it. i spend probably twenty minutes sitting on my kitchen floor with the squash in my lap trying to stab it with every knife in the kitchen & i can’t even get it fucking started. if i’d owned a fire ax i probably would’ve taken a fire ax to it. & naturally the situation evolves from simply a test of my adulting abilities to a TEST OF MY HONOR AND STRENGTH. I’VE GOT A 4.0 i tell myself I CAN OUTSMART A SQUASH but i can’t because i can’t cut it open. i have a bit of a meltdown at this point because my self worth, which is fragile & bewildering on a good day, is being torn to shreds by a stupid fucking orange gourd.
the logical thing to do at this point would have been to give up because i’m not all that wild about spaghetti squash anyway but i CANT ADMIT DEFEAT I HAVE TO OWN THIS STUPID MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!
so i decide to stick the squash in a giant pot & boil it for a while until it gets soft enough to be cut open. brilliant. i’m a genius. i’m so pleased with myself. everyone in the entire world could have told me this was a bad idea. if i’d called my mother to ask for her help she would have probably had a heart attack but i didn’t do that because i’m DETERMINED TO WIN.
so i stick the damn thing in the biggest pot i have, put it on the stove, & feeling very pleased with myself go to take a nap because i’ve fought a battle that i am winning
my roommate gets home maybe an hour and a half later, drops her stuff off, sees me sleeping on the couch and walks into the kitchen. and naturally, as soon as she walks into the kitchen the vegetable bomb that i planted in a pot of boiling water on our stove goes the fuck off which is what happens when you put a large round semi-hollow object in a pot of very hot water so steam builds up inside and then forget about it. so roommate walks into the kitchen
and the squash TAKES FLIGHT.
because, surprise, when you let an incredible amount of steam build up inside something shaped like a bomb it will BURST A HOLE IN THE SIDE AND FLY INTO THE AIR LIKE A RED HOT GOURD PROJECTILE
it sounded kind of like someone firing a cannon in our living room so i wake up thinking someone is SHOOTING AT ME, vault over the couch screaming to see the squash launch out of the pot of water straight up into the air. it misses my roommate’s head by maybe a half a foot. she screams and i scream and we both hit the deck and the squash smacks into the ceiling and then to the ground, splattering squash insides all over us and the floor.
needless to say i had a lot of apologizing to do because i almost murdered her with dinner, & i then had to tell my mother that i’d completely failed in making my point about being mature & self sufficient, but had discovered that spaghetti squash work really great as weaponry if the situation ever arises.
i think she laughed at me for forty five minutes.
so there you go, that’s the story about how i almost accidentally committed squash bomb homicide
““When someone works for less pay than she can live on — when, for example, she goes hungry so that you can eat more cheaply and conveniently — then she has made a great sacrifice for you, she has made you a gift of some part of her abilities, her health, and her life. The ‘working poor,’ as they are approvingly termed, are in fact the major philanthropists of our society. They neglect their own children so that the children of others will be cared for; they live in substandard housing so that other homes will be shiny and perfect; they endure privation so that inflation will be low and stock prices high. To be a member of the working poor is to be an anonymous donor, a nameless benefactor, to everyone else.””
- ― Barbara Ehrenreich, Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America. (via howtobeterrell)
Oh… Oh jeez, dude, you are late to the party. I’ve been so busy with work I haven’t done that is AGES. But I can see this means a lot to you, so you know who is just OBVIOUSLY trans?
She-Hulk’s whole schtick is a transformation narrative brought about by the miracles of science (specifically, changing her blood chemistry). She changes from a self-loathing, meek person who wants to please others because she doesn’t feel much self-worth, to a strong, vivacious, and happy woman. Unlike the He-Hulk’s “woe is me” narrative, Jennifer’s transformation is a blessing (especially once she learns to control the mood swings that come early in the transition) that makes her happier even if it doesn’t solve all her problems, and at times even causes new ones. Later on in the series she even rejects her old life entirely and loses the ability to transform back into her meek form, in much the same way most trans people eventually reach a point in transition when they can’t look back. Later narratives examined how She-Hulk herself has problems finding work while her hated old identity is still considered very hireable, and eventually She-Hulk is forced to run her own business on a shoestring budget and depends heavily on specialty work from friends. If those aren’t metaphors for a post-transition working life, I don’t know what is.
But I’m not saying She-Hulk is a metaphorical trans woman. I’m saying Shulkie is a literal trans woman. If you go back to her earliest issues (and I have), Jennifer Walters is weedy and tomboyish with sharp features. She and her father love each other very much, but have a strained relationship because of how “everything changed” after her mother died. Jen has very few friends, and none who seem to have known her longer than a few years—it was hard to get permission to transition back in 1980 unless you cut out your old life and hid most of your past. She-Hulk’s go-to color for her costumes is purple, the queer-coded color; more significantly, across her many (many) costume changes, she always comes back to purple with a white accent, and what is purple if not pink and blue? Now, I’m not saying She-Hulk literally wears a trans pride flag, but…
Nichelle has devoted a good chunk of her life to helping others Boldly Go…
“Nichols has served as a member of the Board of Directors for the National Space Institute (now the National Space Society), and been active in the leadership of the Space Cadets of America, an organization for young people interested in space and space careers. Through her consultant firm, Women in Motion, Inc., Nichols was instrumental in the NASA Astronaut Corps pioneering effort to break away from their all-white, all-male past. She received NASA’s distinguished Public Service Award for her efforts and continued success.” — NSS
Nichelle Nichols’ recruits for NASA include:
Dr. Sally Ride, first American woman in space
Colonel Guion Bluford, first black man in space
Dr. Judith Resnik, second American woman in space
Dr. Ronald McNair, second black man in space
Dr. Mae Jemison, first black woman in space
Lt. Col. Ellison Onizuka, first Asian-American in space
please be aware that the correct way to replace ä, ö, ü, ß is turning them into ae, oe, ue, and ss, not just taking the dots away or typing “B”.
Otherwise you can get things like,
“Das Wetter ist sehr schwül heute.” = “The weather is very hot and humid today.”
“Das Wetter ist sehr schwul heute.” = “The weather is very gay today.”
well I now know how to call the weather gay
So, it’s like in Polish.
“Zrobić łaskę” means “Do mercy to someone”
but
“Zrobić laskę” means “Make a blowjob”.
I cannot think of a case where removing the dots of ä and ö in Finnish would result in something naughty (if you can, please contribute) but the same thing applies, ä and ö are completely different from a and o, and one does not simply remove the dots.
Finnish:
Näin appelsiineja = I saw oranges.
Nain appelsiineja = I fucked oranges.
its even worse in turkish doe cus like
Sık dişini?? Hang in there/Endure
Sik dişini?? Literally just fuck your tooth
that’s it
amazing
Even in Spanish:
Feliz año nuevo = happy new year
Feliz ano nuevo = happy new butthole
Irish:
Tá mo chroí briste = My heart is broken.
Tá mo chroí bríste = My heart is trousers.
Danish:
Bølle = thug
Bolle = fucking
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a language that uses diacritics must have a minimal pair with and without diacritics that means something rude.
A selection of the colorful illustrations by Laura Callaghan,
a British illustrator based in London who uses a mixture of watercolor,
markers and pen, featuring her girls into explosive and girly trash
compositions.
