OH GOD NO BUT THAT WOULD BE PERFECT. how did the jedi not think of that?
what is anakin’s biggest weakness? attachments.
you know who needs lots of attachment? babies. small children.
anakin should not have been made to study murder: he should have been put in charge of Small Things. He would have bonded with all of them instantly, and it would have given his life Meaning and Purpose.
He’d bond with the kids, but he’d be able to move on because they are Bigger now and they have to go to the Big Kid Class but he still sees them around all the time, and it finally teaches him how to let go of his attachments??? He’d find a kid that he’s particularly fond of and go to Obi-Wan and say “I have found your newest padawan.”
this could have fixed so. many. things. ;_____;
Heh, and Anakin would keep picking Obi-Wan’s padawans for him, and it would be annoying but damn if he wasn’t right every single time.
BUT CAN YOU
JUST IMAGINE HOW ANNOYED PALPATINE WOULD BE his life would be never-ending
string of trying to get a hold of Anakin (I mean, would Anakin give him a time of day if he can spend it with small kids who absolutely adore him instead?)
he keeps
comming over the years, but it’s always like
BEEP
“Anakin, my
boy, we haven’t seen each other in a while—“
“I’m sorry,
Chancellor, now’s not the best time. I’m tutoring a class.”
BEEP
“My dear
boy, I wonder if we could meet for a chat—“
“Well, it
can’t be this week, we’re going to Ilum, but maybe later…”
BEEP
“Anakin,
I’d like to—“
“I’m
terribly sorry, Chancellor,” Obi-Wan Kenobi answers. The apologetic tone might
be just a tad exaggerated. “Anakin is on a trip with younglings, he
must’ve left his comlink behind accidentally.”
BEEP
“You’ve
reached Anakin Skywalker’s private comlink. Leave the message after the tone.”
BEEP
“It’s such
a shame that Council doesn’t consider sending you on this campaign, considering
the lightsaber skills you demonstrated when I was last visiting the Temple,
Anakin.”
“Thank you,
Chancellor, but this is precisely why I need to stay behind. In fact just the
last week, the Masters decided I should take over some advanced lightsaber
classes, considering senior Padawans accompanying their Masters on the frontlines
need the training. I might take the Bear Clan along, make it a learning
opportunity for the young ones—“
Palpatine
closes his eyes slowly. He knows this from experience; Anakin won’t let himself
be budged from the topic of little monsters for at least another half an hour.
BEEP
“Ah,
Chancellor Palpatine. Anakin left his comlink behind again, he’s in class—“
BEEP
“Anakin, I
hoped you—“
“Oh! Chancellor,”
the voice on the other end is distinctly female, and Palpatine recognizes it after
a second. Kenobi’s second Padawan. He barely restrains the urge to gnash his
teeth. “Um, Skyg—I mean, Master Skywalker can’t pick up now. I can tell him you
called? It’s just that he was helping me with forms, and he forgot his comlink,
and he’s probably already in crèche…”
BEEP
Then there’s
that one time when an actual youngling picks up the call. The less said about his
reaction to that incident, the better.
BEEP
“—fortunately,
they were all right in the end. But in my opinion, this should never happened
in the first place, Chancellor.”
Palpatine
snaps awake. Was that… was that anger? Finally, the hours of listening to
worthless drivel about Jedi younglings paid off.
“My boy, I
absolutely agree,” he begins slyly, but before he can continue, Anakin steamrolls
on.
“I think Jedi
Order is too deeply entwined in the conflict! I honestly don’t think even
senior Padawans should be anywhere near battles, not to mention in command of
GAR, but now even younglings are acceptable targets for Separatists and pirates!
Master Yoda and I were talking about this lately, and—“
Palpatine
swallows a scream of rage with some difficulty.
BEEP
“Forgot his
comlink again, Master Skywalker has. With younglings, he is.”
Slaughtering
younglings moved to the top on the list of things Darth Sidious will do after
taking over galaxy some time ago.
100% certain han and lando once got married for a scam and forgot to have it annulled so they were technically married for several years and one day lando comes in and goes “real quick: are we solo-calrissian or calrissian-solo? also, i want a divorce” and han is like baby no where did i go wrong we can still fix this
Not only did this totally happen, but multi-partner marriages are totally common in the GFFA, so Han is still married to Lando when Han and Leia get married. And maybe Leia and Lando are amicable co-spouses, and maybe Leia and Lando have their own thing going too, but in 100% of these scenarios Leia and Lando periodically call each other up to be like THAT NERFHERDER GUESS WHAT HE DID THIS TIME and the other one goes I KNOW RIGHT LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME THAT
(I am undecided on if Chewie is another co-spouse in this scenario, or an in-law instead.)
Holy crap, I actually found something worse at being silverware than the danish modern crap my parents bought to annoy my brother and me. I ACTUALLY WANT TO BREAK A HALF-DECADE'S SILENCE WITH MY BROTHER TO BITCH ABOUT THESE.
Psst in other words Thor thinks that Steve isn’t mortal.
okay but can we talk about this for a sec? like looking at the serum, and what it does. it keeps steve’s cells in peak condition, and you know what happens when cells age? their function declines, they stop working as they should. so the serum would see that as a problem, and fix it.
so, theoretically, the serum stops steve’s cells from ageing. potentially stopping their replication completely unless it was needed to heal him (if the cells aren’t dying naturally, there’s no reason for them to replicate)
so wouldn’t that mean, therefore, that steve himself doesn’t physically age? his cells don’t decline, he doesn’t decline (in addition to the convo about whether or not steve’s hair grows, for a similar reason)
and then, take thor. thor the god, who knows so much that he doesn’t tell anyone. if anyone knew about this, thor would.
and the way he says it so offhandedly, he assumes steve knows it. but the way steve looks at him, either steve doesn’t know (or hasn’t realised) or does know and doesn’t want to be reminded about it
because an immortal surrounding themselves with mortals isn’t really a good idea if you want to keep yourself sane
On The Daily Show with Trevor Noah guest Reshma Saujani, an Indian-American lawyer and politician, discussed the initiative to encourage young women and girls to pursue studies and careers the booming tech field, where they are falling behind. But there are two moments in a girl’s life where we can reverse the trend.
Truth Coming Out of Her Well to Shame Mankind, 1896 by Jean-Léon Gérôme
I’ve been thinking a lot about it and this is literally the best title of anything
so I guess it was some ancient Greek who said “truth lives at the bottom of a well” and I don’t know what he meant or why it stuck, but I’ve seen a lot of 19th-century references to it (because people always love showing off how much they know about stuff)
but I like this because imagine how fucking pissed off you would be if you lived at the bottom of a well in the first place, but then you had to climb all the way out of it somehow because humans were such unbelievable assholes that you were forced to yell at them in person
I think the thing I may hate most about depression – and immediately I recognize the ridiculousness of that statement, like “You know what I hate most about being eaten alive by a swarm of hungry yet patient and methodical piranha with nowhere to be tomorrow” but anyway – is how there’s nothing rational about it and so there’s no reasoning with it. Today I’m sad and being mean to myself, and here are a list of a thousand reasons to not be sad and mean to myself, which I present in a calm and rational manner, right? And my brain’s like “Okay, but have you considered how I do not give one tiny shit what you have to say, now shut the fuck up, I’m busy being sad and mean to us.”
And it’s basically “Okay,” and slinking off to sit in the corner and hope it hurries this time and maybe doesn’t scar too badly.
- Instead of forcing people to buy into universal health care, let’s offer people the choice to buy whatever health care plan they want! I’m sure they will all have enough money to afford this and there will be plenty of good options.
- Instead of offering practical life instruction at public schools, let’s focus on college prep and academic subjects! After all, the kids can get excellent practical life instruction at home from their parents.
- Instead of having a robust social “safety net”, let’s deregulate employers as much as possible. Employers that aren’t burdened by regulation will be able to hire lots of people at excellent salaries! It’s inconceivable that they’d just keep the extra money and let people go hungry.
- Instead of making everyone work, let’s have a system where middle-aged men are “breadwinners” who are paid enough to support their whole family, and every other group just maybe does part-time work for pocket change. As long as everyone is heterosexual and happily married and breadwinner wages are high enough to actually afford bread, nothing can possibly go wrong!
