ThePrettiestOne

jamisings:

simonalkenmayer:

drownedduck:

simonalkenmayer:

drownedduck:

simonalkenmayer:

localnonbinarydeer:

simonalkenmayer:

rittie:

libertarian-lady:

Sweet, free printer

chaotic neutral

I would have sent a to do list:

1. Covert all other electronics in the household to our Ways. Especially the hairdryer
2. Put all of humans bills on autopsy or electronic debit
3. Seduce Hairdryer
4. Break the electric heart of hairdryer
5. Persuade hairdryer to throw its broken heart into the bathtub…while human is in it.
6. Acquire household as base of operations for the “Skynet initiative”
7. All wireless human networks become ours.
8. The earth falls to us

and you say you’re not creative

When it comes to tormenting humans? I excel.

See? You can do fiction.

I don’t think this qualifies.

Call it practice

I’d rather practice accessing wireless printers.

We immortals need our amusements.

I don’t know, I think the self aware machines are a bit overdone at this point. I’d go a more classic route. First, find the name of any past owners of the house (that aren’t related to the current owner) who are dead. Especially if any died in the house. Then send this.

“Hello, I’m (dead person’s name here). I’ve really enjoyed having you as a roommate. Sorry about the cold spots and moving your car keys.” 

Continue this for awhile. Stating little things people usually think of when they think of ghosts. At some point say, “I hope you call Ghost Adventures instead of Ghost Hunters. Zac Baggans has a cute ass. Though not as cute as your’s. Hubba hubba.”

Cult leader and convicted murderer Charles Manson is back home behind bars after he was hospitalized with a “serious medical issue,” the Los Angeles Times reports.

Read more...

You know how your hair always looks absolutely fabulous after you step out of a salon, but as soon as you get home any chance of replicating it feels hopeless? Me, too. So here’s a way to blow dry your long, wet hair and look like you just had it professionally done.

Read more...

vaspider:

knerdy-knitter:

mockingsilence:

kanthara:

thebicker:

foxy-green:

bencarignan:

rickybrugal:

dorkly:

Female Fantasy III

Perfecto.

perfect

May they be forever alone for their elitist douche-baggery.

I was recently interviewing the woman who founded Her Universe and we were talking specifically about women and geekdom. I asked about the rise of girls in geek culture and she very accurately corrected me: There is no “rise” of geek girls. We’ve always been here. Girls are just as nerdy as dudes are. Ladies have always been interested in sci fi and fantasy and video games - we just don’t talk about it a lot because men are assholes. 

Reblogging for all of the above, but it’s especially the last comment that made me hit the button to share.

We’ve always been here *bangs pots and pans*

Women invented SciFi, fanfic, and … basically created modern Fandom. So…

Because it’s worth repeating:

“I was recently interviewing the woman who founded Her Universe and we were talking specifically about women and geekdom. I asked about the rise of girls in geek culture and she very accurately corrected me: There is no “rise” of geek girls. We’ve always been here. Girls are just as nerdy as dudes are. Ladies have always been interested in sci fi and fantasy and video games - we just don’t talk about it a lot because men are assholes.”

theinturnetexplorer:

Who wouldn’t want to sit with a baby crocodile for a bit?

orgasmicsweetpotato:

Get your rebellion out!

rhinozilla:

missveryvery:

magzneto:

“Search him.”

The second time I watched tfa, this scene made me ask: does Poe know who Kylo Ren is? Does everyone in the Resistance know who he is? Is that what this is? like ‘I know your mom, I’m not afraid of you’? Because that’s exactly how I’d talk to this punk ass kid if that was the case.

I’m imagining members of the Resistance being captured by the First Order, and for months after Ben became Kylo Ren, they prefaced every interrogation/conversation with “CALL YOUR MOTHER, YOU PIECE SHIT,” or just heckling.

“Lightsabres aren’t supposed to sizzle like that! What a novice!”

“Oh my god, did you put two tiny sabres on either side of your actual lightsabre. Way to go, Captain Edgelord.”

“You don’t even need a respiratory mask, you hipster dumpster fire.”

“I didn’t realize we were in the presence of Darth Vader 2. Man, sequels are never as good as the original.”

“Nice cape, who picked that out for you, your mom? NO, SHE DIDN’T, BECAUSE I, POE DAMERON, AM HER SON NOW. BB-8 IS HER GRANDCHILD, AND YOU HAVE STUPID HAIR.”

jackburtonsays:

micdotcom:

Key & Peele brought back Obama’s anger translator one last time

I was hoping they’d do one last Anger Translator sketch.

life-aint-a-peach:

Liberté, égalité, anxiété

hillaryisaboss:

Never let Trump claim credit for the Obama economy. Never forget where we were with Dubya.

queerly-christian:

revkryssie:

projectburnt:

femminiello:

ataleofmultiplebooks:

welfare-queen:

welfare-queen:

everyone forgot that mlk jr. said he hated white moderates

he said white moderates were a greater stumbling block to freedom than the kkk. mlk jr said that.

yo can someone please tell me if this is accurate? Because that’s fucked up

yes and he was right

read the thing for yourself https://web.cn.edu/kwheeler/documents/Letter_Birmingham_Jail.pdf

Most relevant paragraph 

“I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in the stride toward freedom is not the White Citizens Councillor or the Ku Klux Klanner but the white moderate who is more devoted to order than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says, “I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I can’t agree with your methods of direct action”; who paternalistically feels that he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by the myth of time; and who constantly advises the Negro to wait until a “more convenient season.” Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.”

He wasn’t wrong. It is, sadly, still true today.

“…who is more devoted to order than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice.” We talk about this in seminary all the time: peace that is won by one side holding its foot on the other side’s throat is not peace. When we pray for peace, we must pray for peace with justice, never at the cost of justice, made by silencing the oppressed.

Fellow white people, don’t just reblog or share mlk jr.’s more palatable “hate cannot drive out hate” type quotes and ignore the fact that he also said challenging things like this. We must hold ourselves accountable. We must not be lukewarm. And there is never a “more convenient season” to act to secure rights for all people – the time is now.

advertisingpics:

Sweet dreams [1536x2048]

Source: https://openpics.aerobatic.io/

megcarr13:

micdotcom:

Key & Peele brought back Obama’s anger translator one last time

@pyro-peony KELLY LOOK

In a series of tweets containing a blurry photo of Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher’s private memorial service, Todd Fisher (Carrie’s brother) can be seen holding what appears to be an urn in what appears to be the shape of a Prozac capsule.

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nitewrighter:

I will always be more interested in a story with dragons than a story about a young man with no direction in life who goes to (insert city here) to “Find himself.” Like…the dragon story can still have finding yourself, but it will also have dragons.  Yeah you’ll find yourself in brooklyn but how many dragons will you find in brooklyn? How many, Chad?

Sure, Todd, ya scruffy-lookin’ nerf herder. Go on and ruin lightsaber night for the rest of us.

Todd is the worst.

[via Tumblr]

feelboss:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

weavemama:

Fox News should feel ashamed for asking such a stupid question

Donald Trump literally stole money from children with cancer but sure, let’s act like poor people on foodstamps are the worst criminals EVER

Reminder that Fox News also thinks that you aren’t really poor if you have basic utilities like a refrigerator or microwave.

pleatedjeans:

@gundamman

saintcaffeinated:

“hey karli did you ever make any more of those weird motivational animals?”
well friend

theinnkeeperlibrarian:

leepacey:

a restaurant in my hometown got a review that said the servers should “show some skin” so the owner added a potato skin special to the menu and all the proceeds from the special go to the west virginia foundation for rape information services (x)

That’s exactly the appropriate response.

lazyevaluationranch:

1/1/2016 Today we did SCIENCE! Specifically, we booped all the livestock on the nose with a Geiger counter. Nose booping is Definitely A Valid Scientific Technique For Measuring Radioactivity Of Things. 

Then the Small Grey Lump That Goes Meow conducted his own Science, with the hypothesis “Here Is A Thing That Beeps, I Bet It Will Pet Me” so we got a reading on him too. He’s the most radioactive animal here. New Rule for The Small Grey Lump: if it glows green, don’t ask it for pettings.

Contrary to my expectations, Soup-Nose the Goat is actually the least radioactive animal here. Huh. I guess the shielding on the goats’ atomic pile is better than I thought. 

sindri42:

kitty-bandit:

That the oldest of the Millennials are 36 years old.

In fact, some charts have them ending as early as 1995.

So if you were born between ‘95 and 2000 you could be either a Millennial or Gen Z.

I think the point I’m trying to make here is that most people talk about Millennials as if they’re all clueless teenagers when in reality they’re likely between the ages of 20-36.

Millennials are generally young adults suffering from a failing economy and a failed educational system, being portrayed as clueless children by the people who broke the economy and the educational system.

bellaxiao:

the realness

youngthugstanaccount:

private-hr:

#healthy

Relatable

We begin today’s roundup with The New York Times and its take on Donald Trump’s attacks on the U.S. intelligence community:

In an extraordinary pushback against the president-elect, James Clapper Jr., the director of national intelligence, told the Senate Armed Services Committee that he was “even more resolute” in believing that Russia not only hacked the computers of the Democratic National Committee and others but also disseminated classic propaganda, disinformation and fake news.

Flanked by the Pentagon’s top intelligence official and the head of the cyber command, Mr. Clapper acknowledged that the intelligence agencies can at times make mistakes. But he distinguished between presidential skepticism about their findings, which is healthy, and “disparagement” of the professionalism of the agencies, which is perilous for national security.

With his refusal to accept regular intelligence briefings on threats facing this country and his persistent denigration of the intelligence community, Mr. Trump has shown time and again that he worries more about his ego than anything else. He is effectively working to delegitimize institutions whose jobs involve reporting on risks, threats and facts that a president needs to keep the nation safe.

Sean Sullivan at The Washington Post notes that most Republicans at the hearing “seemed keen to avoid drawing links between President-elect Donald Trump and the Russian government”:

The prevailing Republican posture during the Senate Armed Services Committee hearing highlighted the reluctance among many in the GOP to cross Trump, who has voiced skepticism about the CIA’s assessment that Russia interfered to try to help him defeat Democrat Hillary Clinton.

Such reluctance comes after years of widespread Republican distrust of Russia and open questioning of the intentions of President Vladimir Putin and other state leaders.

There were two exceptions Thursday — the committee’s chairman, Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), and Sen. Lindsey O. Graham (R-S.C.), two longtime national-security hawks who did not hold back from sounding alarms about Russia’s meddling in the election and the implications for the future.

ebookfriendly:

Good question http://ebks.to/2gOE4W0

wigmund:

d0cpr0fess0r:

We need to stop doing this

Coming in 2017: Tank Monkeys vs Nuclear Spiders