The Wall Street Journal has a Q&A today with Mark Waller, the NFL's chief marketing officer. There's a lot of corporatespeak, and then the conversation turns toward the children. The NFL is most definitely thinking of the children.
This is REALLY worth the clickthrough.
how much do you love me
are you in prison again?
lol that was like one time in france
it doesn’t count as prison if you’re in france
what are you doing like right now
I’m trying to finish The Importance of Being Earnest
stop doing that and sue my dad
you should sue my dad
why would I do that?
he’s been telling everyone you’re gay
I am gay
well but he’s being really shitty about it
everyone’s shitty about it
well then just sue him because he sucks and I hate him
that doesn’t seem like much of a basis for a legal case
oh my god
are you going to sue him or not
all I want is a boyfriend who will sue my dad
I really don’t think that’s too much to ask
a boyfriend who will sue my dad and also come down to the Savoy to bail me out because they keep saying I owe them like £300 for champagne and sex grease
like I brought my OWN sex grease obviously
babe come over
are you all right, my ivory poppet?
come over and take care of me
it’s the boys’ first day of school
and Constance’s birthday
come over im dying
I’ll be there
sweet Christ, Bosie
the lawyer has produced the letters I gave you in court
how in God’s name did they find their way to his hands?
I told you to burn them
our — letters of an intimacy, Alfred
did u give them to me when I was wearing that velvet suit
I don’t know
I think so
I do think so
because i gave that away
or the suit?
i mean both i guess
like the letters were in the suit probably
lol idk i gave that guy a LOT of stuff
the sex guy
that one guy who has sex for money
or like one of the guys who has sex for money
obviously there’s not just the one
Bosie, what is this?
its my translation of Salmoe i did for you?
thats what i said
its the version i did of your Salmon in English
do you even speak French
uhh what kind of a question is that
yes i speak french
what does this sentence mean?
‘On ne doit regarder que dans les miroirs’?
“don’t look in mirrors”
“buy low, sell mirrors”
“a mirror saved is a mirror earned”
“ONE SHOULD ONLY LOOK IN MIRRORS”
something about mirrors
it’s French, it’s all the same thing
oh and not to be a dick or anything by the way
but i havent gotten my translators fee yet??
Bosie, are you at home?
do u want me to CUM OVER
Bosie, I’m ill and Constance is away
could you please come by the house and see me?
ahhh sorry im actually not in town right now?
you said you were going to come over a moment ago
a lot of things
im in jail right now
in french jail so
hope u feel better soon babe
get better so we can have sex when youre better and not gross
Bosie darling, they’re sending me to Pentonville for two years
I must see you before I go
sorry new phone who is this
also like whoever this is I like girls now
I mean I liked them before
just like a heads up
girls: I’m for ‘em
their legs and what have you
all the various bits that make up girls, physically and sexually and so on
so if you know any girls for sex
send them my way
send them my sexual way
weather tank and tactical water
medicine hat, part 2
a sexy horse
thorn hat and body of crows
a man who is always biting you
cigar + vest + crimping
This is outrageously dumb, and also amazing.
Following is a list of the first 100 Police Academy films, as they appear in Halliwell’s Film Guide.
The first movie to focus entirely on the antics of the gay men in the Blue Oyster Bar, PA10 was ninety solid minutes of non-consensual dancing with a procession of increasingly straight men who unwittingly walk through the doors of their gay enforcement zone.
*The Hitched To A Herb spin-off series were not the celebrated cinematic releases that the Police Academy movies remain to this day. Hard Thyme, Jack and Dill, and Cumin My Anise all went straight to DVD.
This movie featured two Micro-Precinct spin-offs. “A Girl Gets A Job In The Micro-Precinct, Ruining It For The Men Who Just Wanted To Have Sexy Posters On The Walls While They Did Their Paperwork After A Hard Day Being Heroes”, and “Although She Did Turn Out To Be A Lesbian Who Shared Their Enjoyment Of The Posters, There’s Still Something The Boys Aren’t Happy About, And They Decline To Analyse Their Discomfort”
Police Academy 71 had an illegal title, and was never released.
(The Police Academy ownership of the lucrative Weekend At Bernies franchise was short-lived, and Bernie went on to feature instead in a number of Nightmare On Elm Street films. Tip! When the hell-hound resurrects Freddie Krueger by pissing a fireball onto his junkyard grave in Nightmare on Elm Street 4, check out the Bernie-led conga-line in the background!)
The Crow movies went on to have their own rich history, which you can read here.
A version of this list was read out for the 100th episode of the Regular Features podcast. With thanks to Simon Swatman.
Ha! That's some good contest, right there.
A new contest has Taco Bell offering the hypothetical perfect prize for many hungry, grease-loving Americans: a literal lifetime of free Taco Bell food.
Hello Kitty is one of the most easily recognizable characters in the history of modern culture. She's the smileless (well, mouthless) Mona Lisa. And this year, she's turning 40 (just two years until Esquire can deem her bangable )! But did you know that Hello Kitty is not actually a cat? No? Well that's probably not the only thing you don't know about the enigmatic Kitty.
Last year: 2-14, last in AFC South, no. 1 pick recipient
Acquisitions: Jadeveon Clowney, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Tom Savage,
Andre Brown, Chris Clemons
Departures: Matt Schaub, Ben Tate, Owen Daniels, Danieal Manning, Earl Mitchell
Disgruntled star player who desperately wants out: Andre Johnson
Guy who’s just trying to be the best teammate he can be: Arian Foster
Vegas 2014 win total over/under: 7.5 wins
Five places where Ryan Fitzpatrick attended college:
– Fair Harvard
– “A school in Cambridge”
– Beardy State University (Harvard)
– The Harvard of the Harvards
Fan forecast by Stephanie Stradley:
So as the Texans were going 2-14 last year because they were a team adrift without a solid quarterback, Texans fans were going, “Well, I can deal with this because at least we will get a top quarterback next year.”
Goodbye Matt Schaub. Hello Ryan Fitzpatrick. Let the excitement commence!
The 2013 Texans cleaned house, but they didn’t. They got rid of their first time NFL head coach who is reputed to be good developing quarterbacks and replaced him with a first time NFL head coach who is reputed to be good developing quarterbacks.
And they’ve kept the GM who was a first time GM when he was hired by the Texans. His greatest career accomplishment might be being the youngest GM in the league when he was hired at age 36 after accomplishing nothing of note for the Broncos. The best articulation why he didn’t get canned was something to the effect of, “Well, he wasn’t responsible for the roster composition and bad picks, and was merely ineffectual as opposed to affirmatively terrible at his job.”
Being human kevlar may be the handiest skill for anyone working for a company.
So what are the Texans going to be in 2014? Football Outsiders projects them to have the easiest schedule in the league, so they might just be good enough to not to be able to draft a top quarterback in 2015.
There’s a thin reed of hope about developing 4th round quarterback, Tom Savage. Cool name, really strong arm, looks like Nick Cage if you are drunk and squinting. If he is turned into something above serviceable, the Texans could become one of those cheap quarterback teams that can sorta afford to pay
Captain AmericaJ.J. Watt.
The new head coach, Bill O’Brien is a former Patriots assistant hoping to break the curse of all former Patriot assistants being abysmal NFL head coaches. He begins his tenure with the same problems the previous staff had: 1 Eh quarterbacks; 2. A small core group of stars, surrounded by some starters and depth that might not make some other rosters; 3. Not much cap room to try to fix obvious problems.
So far, Texans fans don’t really have much of a sense of what their team will be in 2014. Many of their best players are coming off of injuries, haven’t played much in preseason games, and their health is being preserved for the regular season. The coaching staff claims that what they’ve run in the preseason is vanilla.
Possibly this extreme rest thing works for them, or they start the season looking like a bucket of rust. Given the errant passes I’ve seen in practice without a real pass rush, I’m not optimistic for the offense. Apparently a member of the Denver Broncos defense who faced them in practice agrees:
— Brandon Krisztal (@BKDenverSports) August 19, 2014
With J.J. Watt and Jadeveon Clowney, there’s the possibility of seeing some pretty cool quarterback crushing Vines, so there’s that for entertainment value.
But in summary, there are fans who are not embarrassed about their quarterback. Then there are fans that have semi-realistic hope for the development of their future quarterback. Then there are Texans fans.
It is everything you'd hope/fear it would be.
Still Plenty Of Places For Us To Put Our Garbage Before We Have To Start Worrying About Anything
There Are Over 1300 Species Of Birds In Danger Of BIRTHDAY PARTIES
Pretty Much All Trees Are Doing Fine And Also There Are No New Diseases For You To Worry About
People Just Don’t Seem To Be Getting Alzheimer’s Any More
You’re Getting Plenty Of Sleep; Don’t Worry About It
Increased Sausage McMuffin Consumption Linked To Gracefulness, “Swan-like” Necks In 27-Year-Old Bloggers
Temperatures Normal For This Time Of Year
Yosemite Fire Goes Out All By Itself
Some Good News About Whales
Everything In The Rainforest Is Normal And Great
Sitting’s Honestly Not That Bad
We’re So Far Away From Any Kind Of Tipping Point That It Would Be Ridiculous To Worry
Southern California Faces Another Week Of Moderate, Seasonally Appropriate Rain
Shocking Pictures Demonstrate How Consistently Level California’s Water Reserves Are
Not Eating A Burger Right Now Linked To Depression, Is Easily Cured By Eating A Burger Right Now
Scientists Find Evidence Of Life On Europa, The Good Kind, That’s Conscious And Mobile And Friendly, Not An Outline Of What Might Have Once Been Bacteria
Mosquitos? Never Heard Of ‘Em
https://twitter.com/RoyHalladay/statuses/503393978214256640 The replies. The simplicity of 'ROY WHAT' is still killing me.
A guy can’t even tweet about butt plugs anymore without people getting their panties in a bunch. Shame on you world. Former MLB pitcher Roy Halladay made a casual comment on Twitter about a boat taking on water.
I recomend putting in a butt plug beforez putting the boat in the water but im no expert! pic.twitter.com/RmAGbpCfbM
— Roy Halladay (@RoyHalladay) August 24, 2014
In truth, I didn’t know the term “butt plug” could be used like that. I thought it was called a boat plug or drain plug but whatever I’m not boat savvy. I’m #TeamDryLand after all. Anyway, the butt plug stuff got scooped up by the Twitter world because heh, butt plug.
I should know twitter people my not be up to snuff on boat terms. At times I feel Im talking to Beavis & Butthead "uh he said butt plug uh!"
— Roy Halladay (@RoyHalladay) August 24, 2014
Listen, I laughed at butt plugs. I laughed pretty damn hard. I’m also a 12-year-old masquerading as a 30-some blogger, ok? Stop judging me Roy.
Brittney Griner slammed home the first dunk in the history of the WNBA playoffs during last night's rout of the L.A. Sparks.
“I moved here the day this place opened,” Bill Hader says as he walks into the film haven Cinefile Video in West L.A. “I didn’t have a lot of friends. I didn’t have a job. So I just kind of hung out, trying to talk to the movie nerds.”
Fresh off the set of his first romantic leading role, in Judd Apatow’s Amy Schumer vehicle Trainwreck, and with the wide release of his dramatic Sundance smash The Skeleton Twins around the corner, Hader is quietly enjoying a bubbling post-SNL existence. But he can still effortlessly evoke the petrified peon he once was. “I’d be at the counter like, ‘Hey, uh, you guys gonna hang out and watch Eraserhead at the Nuart tonight? I am.’ And I’d be saying that as I’m wearing an Eraserhead T-shirt?”
After a comfortable, quiet childhood in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and a misguided few years at a community college in Scottsdale, Arizona, a 20-year-old Hader moved to L.A. with dreams of making movies — dreams he was too shy to share. “I never said ‘I want to be a filmmaker’ out loud,” he says, while re-browsing the aisles with great focus and plucking out gems for careful perusal: the bloody The Phenix City Story; Ken Russell’s infamous The Devils; the obscure Deadhead Miles, a trucker movie starring Alan Arkin and written by Terrence Malick. “Because I’d never made anything.”
As a kid, he first became aware that “director” was a job because of John Landis. “My dad showed me Animal House, and then I saw his name on Trading Places. ‘Oh, the same guy did that … ’” When he was a bit older, Hader became consumed by Stanley Kubrick, in part because he’d never seen a photo of the legendary filmmaker. “I would daydream: What does he look like? And I remember watching the making of The Shining, and my stomach was in knots: I was finally gonna see him.”
Oklahoma wasn’t exactly a hotbed of cinematic culture, and brief journeys elsewhere proved unfruitful as well. “When I was 17, literally within the first hour I was ever in New York City — my dad was there for business — I walked into a video store,” Hader recalls. “And this guy goes, ‘Hey, Stretch, you gonna rent anything?’ And I said, ‘No?’ And he went” — and here Hader drops into a perfect caricature of a New Yawk accent — “‘Then get the fuck outta my stoaah!’” In the back pages of The Hollywood Reporter (it was 1999!), he found work as a PA. He was lonely and underemployed in L.A., but finally blessed with the free time and the wherewithal to indulge his movie obsessions: ’40s musicals, ’50s noir, Robert Altman, Jean Vigo, Jean-Pierre Melville.
“Back then, you’d get a free episode of Mr. Show when you rented [a video],” he says. “So I’d go up with Le Samourai or Bob le Flambeur or something, all these orange VHS boxes, and I’d go home to my tiny little apartment and watch those two movies, and watch Mr. Show. And then I’d usually come back the same day.”
Years passed, and Hader climbed the PA ranks, quietly imagining this would lead to an assistant director gig and some kind of creative fulfillment. Then one night, while in California’s Mystery Mesa, shooting the Rock vehicle The Scorpion King, Hader reached a breaking point. “I’d been up for like 20 hours,” he says. “I couldn’t find the hotel. And I was so bleary-eyed and tired, and I just pulled my car over and I sat there for a while, and I thought, Why am I doing this? And that was it. I finished that movie a week later, and I never PA-ed again.”40
To pay the bills, he got a job as an assistant editor at a postproduction house;41 to feel not-dead inside, he joined his buddies in comedy classes at Second City L.A., where small rewards came almost immediately. “I move out here, and next thing I know I’m 25,” he says, “and the only thing I’ve heard is, ‘Can you get a coffee, can you hurry up with the thing, blah blah blah.’ It was nice doing something and hearing someone go, ‘Hey, you’re good at this.’” But he was still watching a lot of movies, he makes sure to point out, running through more selections: “Merry Widow. It’s insane, so good. One of the best comedies ever. Eyes Wide Shut. It’s hilarious. A whole movie about Tom Cruise trying to go out and fuck somebody and he can’t get laid.”
Eventually he started a sketch group, Animals From the Future, with three other dudes; they did backyard shows in Van Nuys. It was a small and simple joy. And, in a move that’ll make you believe in the inevitable correctness of the universe, that was enough to get him his big break. One of the dudes in his group was Matt Offerman, Nick Offerman’s younger brother. Nick came to one show with his wife, Mullally. And Megan Mullally, ever the oracle, told Lorne Michaels about Hader. Soon, Hader got an SNL audition.
Hader’s professional experience at that point was basically nonexistent, though he had played a driver on a particularly mindlessly cruel segment of Punk’d (starring poor Bizarre), but, perhaps for the best, hadn’t actually gotten to say anything. Battling nerves before the audition, he set up a meeting with his now-manager, Naomi Odenkirk,42 whom he knew through a friend.
“She was like, ‘What are your characters?’ I said, ‘I don’t really have characters?’ She was like, ‘What are your impressions?’ I said, ‘I don’t really do impressions?’ And she was like, ‘Well, do you do anything? A voice? Anything?’ I was like, ‘I can do this Italian guy?’” Hader had recently been to Mann’s Chinese Theatre to see A.I., and he had overheard a lecherous older Italian gentleman hitting on pretty young girls by offering to acquire them gelato. Sitting with Odenkirk, he mimicked the man. “She said, ‘That’s good! That’s a start! You can do voices!’” That voice would become the befuddling talk show host Vinny Vedecci, Hader’s first recurring SNL character.43
Hader has said he never truly felt comfortable throughout his first four seasons on the show. “The way I looked at it was, ‘Suddenly, you got SNL. And now, you got something to lose.’” Laser-focused on “How do I stay here?” he worked on filling a utility-man role, like his hero Phil Hartman. “It was like the A-Team: ‘OK, I’m the impressions guy.’ And I’d do someone at the table read, even if I had a bad idea, just so the writers could go, ‘OK, we don’t like that sketch, but we know he can do that guy …’”
Hader has never been a good sleeper and six years on SNL only exacerbated his troubles. “It would take almost a month [after a season] to fully come down and feel like a human being again. I’d wake up in the middle of the night — ‘What do you need?’”
During one Christmas episode — at the end of the first half of the season, when the cast and crew are typically beaten-down and ready for a break — he had a full-on panic attack while performing as Julian Assange. “It felt like someone was sitting on my chest. I couldn’t breathe, I started sweating. I thought, This is not good — abort! abort! I remember getting my makeup taken off and saying, ‘I don’t know what’s going on out there. I don’t know what just happened.’”
It wasn’t until the after-party of a Seth Rogen–hosted episode in 2009 when he felt fully at ease. That was the night Michaels pulled Hader aside and told him, “You can work here as long as you want.”
“I was so rigid,” Hader says now. “It’d be a sketch where I’d be, like, a customer at a Jamba Juice, and I’d run my line over and over again, all the different permutations of how I could say it. That was his way of saying, ‘Relax.’”
“Bill is super neurotic,” Andy Samberg says now. “That makes him so lovable. For someone so talented, he has to have that level of neurosis — it’s the only way you’re gonna love him so much!”
Hader came up in the same SNL class as future stars Samberg and Kristen Wiig; it was, we know now, the dawn of a new era. On a recent episode of Marc Maron’s WTF podcast, Mike Myers recalled Michaels telling him, “It’s the court of the Borgias. If someone offers you a drink, check their hand to see if they have a poisoned ring.” But by 2006, the treachery and narcotics that had fueled the show to greatness in decades past had been quietly swapped in favor of squad-first civility. And Hader was the Prince of the Nice Guys.
On his first sketch ever, he played a TV psychiatrist flippant about the possible death of hundreds in an imminent plane crash. (He recalls: “Darrell Hammond was playing the news anchor, asking me, ‘So do people want to know when they’re going to die?’ And I’m like, ‘Oh, no no no no, they don’t wanna know.’”) That same night, he had a memorable impression-off with new pal Samberg, and did a wonderfully doddering Al Pacino, in mid-Katrina relief efforts, swinging a hammer with no apparent awareness of its intended usage. It was a good first night out, but more so, it was telling.
“The first episode, when he did Pacino,” Samberg says now, “the crowd went fucking bananas. I knew, This dude’s gonna destroy.“
Samberg had the grace and looseness of a guy who’d lost his virginity at summer camp at 14 to a counselor. Wiig was an odd bird, but a naturally manic star. Hader’s secret was his blankness. In person, wearing jeans, flip-flops, and an untucked dress shirt, he’s aggressively casual; his tall frame slumps and his speech drawls. But in the middle of an anecdote he will transform, seamlessly slipping into an impression — like, say, a perfect raspy rendition of Christian Bale’s Batman, mucking his way through a justification of the ending of The Dark Knight. And when he does, the trademark Bulging Bill Hader Eyes will come out.
The template for his SNL Hall of Famer career was laid down that first night. From his neutral state, he could go to extremes: sports anchor Greg the Alien; talk show host Jame Gumb; James Carville, king of the snakes. Which is not to say he shouldn’t have been operating under fear and powered by anxiety: It might not have been therapist-approved, but it certainly worked.
Hader yanks out a copy of It’s Always Fair Weather, Gene Kelly’s follow-up to Singin’ in the Rain. “People did not like it when it came out,” he says. “But it’s really wonderful. At SNL that would happen all the time. We’d think something was the funniest thing ever, and the audience would just be like — NO.”
“John Mulaney and I wrote this thing once. It was Casey Kasem talking to his estranged son. Dana Carvey was Kasem, and I was coming back in the middle of the night to ask for forgiveness. It was a really tense scene, but we were talking like Casey Kasem the whole time. I was always asking, ‘When are you gonna get a job, when are you gonna get out of the house — and what recording artist had more no. 1 hits than anyone in history … that’s Mariah Carey, with 17.’ We thought it was the funniest fucking thing we’d ever written. And it went up at dress and it bombed like nothing has bombed. I could feel it on my face, like, ‘Are you joking?’ This is what I get for going into something with full confidence.”
And so believe him when he says that when he and Mulaney first collaborated on Hader’s breakout character, Stefon, they never foresaw the legend blooming. They tried it first in a sketch with Ben Affleck, which aired to little fanfare. They tried it in another sketch with Bradley Cooper, where it went to dress and didn’t play well. Writer Doug Abeles, who was working on “Weekend Update” at the time, suggested they try it one more time there.
“I remember it was the Gabourey Sidibe show, and it was the last ‘Update’ feature of the dress, which means they didn’t have a lot of confidence in it,” Hader says. “And then at dress, it played! And then I ended up closing out ‘Update,’ and that was crazy. And the next week was the final show of the season, and Lorne was like, ‘I want another Stefon.’ And I remember going out and getting a recognition applause? And then seeing past the cue cards, and Andy’s hitting John’s shoulder like, ‘Dude, you got yourself a fucking recurring character!’”
He may always sweat it out, but deep down Hader knows he’s always been good. “I remember telling my dad as a kid, after a particularly bad basketball game,” he says, “‘The only things I’m good at are being funny, and knowing a lot about movies.’ And nothing’s really changed.”
Hader has never been one to watch himself onscreen, which is becoming more awkward. “I couldn’t sit through the Sundance screening of The Skeleton Twins, and apparently it went unbelievably well,” he says. “And afterwards they’re like, ‘Hey, how about that reaction, huh?’ ‘Oh I wasn’t there!’ ‘Why?’ ‘’Cause I’m scared!’” But it’s not pessimism, not quite. It’s just a typically modest notion: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
Hader has a holding deal with HBO — basically a green light to pitch a show, although he’s in no hurry to make that happen. Those early auteur dreams are still kicking around, too, but he’s in no rush there, either. Maybe, if the HBO thing happens, he says, he’ll direct an episode or two and see where that’ll take him. There is, for now, not too much to prove. “I’m from Oklahoma,” he says. “The fact that I live in L.A. is newsworthy there.”
But there is more, of course. Since 2007, his second season on SNL, Hader has strung together a progressively more impressive selection of bit movie parts, moving from a blip of dying Jabba the Hutt in Knocked Up to the heartbroken cop of Superbad44 to the mustachioed, repressed theme park boss of Adventureland. They’re the “‘insane authority figure’ kind of guys,” he says of his characters — “the weird, tall, creepy-looking guys.” With The Skeleton Twins, he takes a leap forward as Milo, a failed, suicidal actor still in love with his own (male) Mary Kay Letourneau. Hader turns in a pissy, winningly bitter performance. He wasn’t after anything like this. But he may have a broader range than anyone, even he, expected.
We take a couple of more laps around Cinefile, Hader fully engrossed in the treasures contained therein. “Thieves Like Us, this is bonkers. Woman Under the Influence, it’s unbelievable — just seeing this thing spiral out of control. 8 Million Ways to Die — there’s this scene … it’s supposed to be, like, a tough scene, but Jeff Bridges is just eating a snow cone the whole time?”
Then we step outside, where the sun is dazedly bright. “It really is bizarre, just walking back into that store,” he says. “Sometimes you feel like, ‘Is this for real?’ Right where we’re at, [I can remember] I’m 20, 21 years old, bumming around this street, kind of back over to that doughnut shop, walking around, not knowing many people, just, like, trying to fill time. And being like, ‘Did I make a mistake?’ There’s a pit in your stomach, and you’re trying to stave it off, trying to distract yourself from it: ‘Did I make a mistake?’ And coming back here, it’s — look at this!
“Right now, it worked out. Right now, it’s working out.”
Illustration by Linsey Fields
I love this so much.
National Geographic magazine, a mail-order Caring About Things merit badge for baby boomers, has been running a "Future of Food" series on the Plate, its food blog, for the past few months. This month's entry was written by Mary Beth Albright, an attorney, food writer, and former contestant on Food Network Star's seventh season, and it's ... hhhehhhhh ... it's something.
It's August. If you are reading this it is because you are stuck at work while your friends are off at their "lake houses" and "beach trips." The news, domestic and international, is awful. You need to relax. You need a cool beverage to relax. Allow me to suggest that the optimal beverage is a lemon rosemary vodka fizz.
There’s is now a definite ruling on the copyright status of the monkey selfie you see pictured above. In a copyright dispute that stretches all the way back to 2011, Wikimedia has been proven correct in their belief that the photo isn’t bound by copyright law because it was taken by the monkey and monkeys have no copyright claim.
The U.S. Copyright office settled the debate between British photographer David Slater and Wikimedia by updating their rules to reflect any photos taken by animals in addition to a few other interesting things. From Mashable:
“The Office will not register works produced by nature, animals or plants,” the federal office, which operates under the Library of Congress, wrote in a recent update to its regulations. “Likewise, the office cannot register a work purportedly created by divine or supernatural beings, although the office may register a work where the application or the deposit copy(ies) state that the work was inspired by a divine spirit.”
You can read the whole thing in PDF form here, but the money is in that quote. All those dog paintings and pieces of toast with Jesus on them are copyright free. It is a joyous decision that wasn’t a waste of time at all.
Still that only covers the United States. Slater’s equipment was still used to take the photo during his trip to Indonesia back in 2011 and other countries might see it differently. Until then though, The black macaque from the photo stole the equipment and got away with it. It’s no wonder it is smiling.
Josh Brolin is neat.
Josh Brolin stopped by Reddit yesterday for an Ask Me Anything. The purpose of the visit was ostensibly to promote Sin City: A Dame To Kill For, but Brolin — unlike Woody Harrelson — brushed off the promotion and instead talked about The Goonies, surfing, Thrashin’, leopard print thongs, what George W. Bush thought about W, and a few other longer anecdotes about hanging with Tarantino and ripping the seam of his pants in front of Russell Crowe.
We’ve collected some of our favorite answers and things we learned from the full thread.
Let’s get the Goonies references out of the way:
GrandMasterT: Is there a possibility of a sequel to The Goonies?
Josh_Brolin: We just wrapped!
axcairns: Please don’t tease us like that!
Josh_Brolin: There’s always a possibility. Seriously, no teasing. About every 5 years it comes up. I’ve never read a script. It seems that recently in the last year, there’s been more talk of it than usual from the likes of Corey Feldman and Richard Donner. But that’s as far as it’s gone for me. I don’t know how I feel about a sequel, given that I love the original movie so much.
GrandMasterT: The Goonies is the all time best adventure kid’s movie for my generation. Do you have a funny or interesting story from making that movie?
Josh_Brolin: They didn’t show us the – actually, I do! They didn’t show us the ship that was being built, which would now be CGI I’m sure, so this was long enough ago that everything was practical (which made things much more fun & fantastical) – so it was on a stage, the stage was a massive pool with a practical 110 foot boat built in it. And they backed us up into the stage, into the water, had the camera set up so that we could have an “organic” reaction, put us underwater, I came up out of the water, turned around, we all came up out of the water, I turned around and said “Holy sh*t!” which ruined the whole take. And the surprise. So we had to resort to acting in the end.
trios13: Did you guys giggle everytime someone said “one eye Willy”? I never realized it was a euphemism until I went back and watched it in my teens! I’ve heard this story before…Why would “holy sh*t” ruin the take? Sh*t was said at other times in the movie.
Josh_Brolin: My first day at work, half the day was ruined because I giggled so much. My dad didn’t often bring me to the set, being an actor himself, so my infancy as an actor was wracked with a lot of giggles and nervousness.
8_Wolf: Hi Josh! Thanks for this AMA! Two questions: A. Being The Goonies your first movie, does it have a special place in your heart? If yes, more because of being the first or for the “adventure type of film and success it had? B. When you made MIBIII, how many times you cracked up in laughter portraying a young Agent K that had to be serious but not too serious, working with Will Smith?
Josh_Brolin: I’ve never had more fun on a movie than I did on The Goonies. I thought that was how it was going to be for the rest of my career. And even though there have been massive fluctuations in the past 30 years, I still hold that as my greatest experience.
Watch the gag reel for MIBIII on YouTube. Very hard to keep a straight face the entire film.
But let us never forget that other ’80s classic, Thrashin’.
judomonkeykyle: How much training did you have to do for Thrashin’? Did you already know how to skateboard?
Josh_Brolin: I did. On the audition, part of the audition process was me having to skateboard outside while they watched me from across the street, second floor window. I hit a pebble, my skateboard went out into the street, and an 18 wheeler ran over it. The only reason I got the part was because the Goonies poster was up at the time. But yes I got the part.
LouisArmstrong3: HEY JOSH! when will you be making Thrashin’ 2?
Josh_Brolin: Right after Goonies 2. Back to back.
Steven Spielberg is not having that Stanislawski bullsh*t.
I_am_solipsism: What’s your craziest on-set story?
Josh_Brolin: My craziest on-set story comes from during the Goonies, when I came up to Spielberg and said that I wanted to climb the walls of the tunnels and that it represented my mother’s womb, for some odd reason. I was reading Stanislawski at the time and Spielberg’s response was “Why don’t you just act.”
Bill Clinton loans DVDs to George W. Bush.
GrandMasterT: What did George W think of your impersonation of him?
Josh_Brolin: Oliver Stone saw Clinton at a art exhibit in China, where Oliver was selling some of his art. They started talking about W, Clinton (who’s very close friends with W) loaned him his DVD, Oliver found out, and when Oliver asked Clinton how W liked it, his response was “Funny, but kind of sad.”
Josh Brolin’s video game tastes run old school.
dynamoJaff: Would you consider playing Joel in the adaptation of The Last of Us? I think you would be perfect casting!
Josh_Brolin: Thank you very much. I’m stuck on Robotron and Asteroids and Galaga. But that sounds interesting…
Not all of the questions were serious.
lmanders32: Tell me which is grittier: Tommy Lee Jones’ glare, or a literal bucket of grits?
Josh_Brolin: Glare. Hands down.
SullivansTravels: When are you going to record a cover of Chamillionaire’s Ridin’? They see me Brolin, they hatin…
Josh_Brolin: It’s been a joke my kids’ entire lives. Should we set it up now?
baltikorean: When will you start hosting the web series “Trollin’ with Josh Brolin,” in which you scour internet articles and post outrageous comments in message boards?
Josh_Brolin: I LOVE THAT IDEA! RIGHT NOW! Better than my old buddies’ idea of “Brawlin’ with Brolin”
Merrizon: what super power would you have?
Josh_Brolin: Always loved X-ray vision. I bought those glasses. I spent most of my allowance on those f*cking glasses that never worked.
bozobozo: What is your favorite dinosaur?
Josh_Brolin: Dinosaur? Tyrannosaurus Rex, because we have the same length arms.
Ladylovelybones: Any tips on how to be as awesome as Josh Brolin?
Josh_Brolin: Leopardskin thong.
richardwrinkle: To prepare for your role as a young Tommy Lee Jones in MIBIII how many hours a day did you practice making your face extra weathered and wrinkly?
Josh_Brolin: I have been practicing my whole life.
jasonml: Since you’re like, Thanos now, can you beat the bullies in my school up? Please?
Josh_Brolin: I was severely bullied as a kid. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. The misfits always win.
I'm ashamed at how funny I found this.
This really couldn't have gone worse for the young fan wearing a popcorn tub as a hat.
This is profoundly sad.
A Tumblr quote floated over to me about around the time of Trayvon Martin's murder, from a Jonathan Lethem book that I've never read (The Fortress of Solitude). At this point, I don't really need to read it, because it's already asked me the most important question I've heard in a long time: "At what age is a black boy when he learns he's scary?"
This is kind of hilarious
DONT LET “THE MAN” TELL YOU WHAT TO FUCKING DO WITH YOUR BODY
AND YOUR KEYBOARD
YOU WILL NEVER LIVE UP TO THE SEXIST, PATRIARCHAL STANDARD OF WHAT MAKES A “GOOD” SOURCE CODE OR AN “ACCEPTABLE” ALGORITHM
REFUSE TO LEARN TO CODE
STOP EMPOWERING YOUNG WOMEN IN YOUR COMMUNITY AND PREPARING THEM FOR FRUITFUL CAREERS IN THE TECH INDUSTRY
YOUR DEBUGGING WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH
YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR USABILITY
YOU ARE A REAL RAW PUNK ROCK FUCK TALK SOUL HEART SPACE CRUSADER
NOT A CODER
CODING IS FOR FUCKING SQUARES AND SELLOUTS AND LITTLE KISSASS PUNK BITCHES
YOU DON’T NEED TO INCREASE YOUR JOB PROSPECTS
YOU JUST NEED TO KICK ASS
REFUSE TO LET THEM INCORPORATE YOU INTO BOY CODE STANDARDS
RESIST THE CODING ESTABLISHMENT
ASSIMILATE SOMEONE ELSE, THIS GIRL’S NOT YOUR FUCKING CODING TOY
WHY THE FUCK SHOULD YOU BECOME A FUTURE INNOVATOR JUST BECAUSE SOME MALE CORPORATION THINKS YOU SHOULD
DON’T LET THEM TEACH YOU HOW TO CODE
FUCK THEIR INPUT
FUCK THEIR OUTPUT
THE ONLY PYTHON YOU NEED IS AN ACTUAL FUCKING SNAKE
GIRLS DON’T CODE
GRRRLS DON’T CODE
TELL THE MEN WHO WANT YOU TO CODE THAT THEY CAN GO DISRUPT THEMSELVES
Pemberley Digital’s latest modern web series has finally arrived! It’s the team’s first deviation from Jane Austen-inspired adaptations and into classic horror with Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, and so far it’s pretty solid. Newcomer Anna Lore hits just the right balance of overenthusiastic scientific interest and total disregard for her own limits in her portrayal of Victoria Frankenstein, and there’s even a great nod to Igor from the movies!
Future episodes will go up on the PBS Digital Studios YouTube channel, and you can find additional material on the official site. Keep an eye out for how Victoria (I am never going to get over that, by the way) talks about her mom in the second episode. Mary Shelley would be so proud.
(via The Daily Dot)
Previously in Pemberley Digital