Shared posts

20 Oct 20:06

Escaped NYC Carriage Horse Hassled By The Fuckin' Pigs

by Tom Ley

This extremely chill carriage horse escaped from his oppressors in New York City this weekend, and proceeded to take advantage of his freedom by going on a morning jaunt down 11th Avenue.

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18 Oct 18:40

Spry Dog Doesn't Give a Fuck About the Weather Forecast

by Dayna Evans
Krankota

Ripple is the best meteorologist.

Spry Dog Doesn't Give a Fuck About the Weather Forecast

While attempting to tell the people of Edmonton, Canada what their weather forecast for the week looked like (note: horrible), one weatherman was left to deal with a scrappy dog who was having none of it. I'm a dog. I don't even get what he's saying. Let's play.

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18 Oct 20:55

That Dude From Buffy Arrested at Idaho Comic-Con

by Dayna Evans
Krankota

Man. Xander looks like b-hole.

That Dude From Buffy Arrested at Idaho Comic-Con

Nicholas Brendon, 43-year-old former star of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, was arrested Friday night in Boise, Idaho for "malicious injury to property," TMZ reports. He was also charged with "resisting or obstructing officers."

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19 Oct 18:10

Wanted Man Discovered In a Dark Closet, Casually Munching On Salad

by Dayna Evans
Krankota

Why the hell not.

Wanted Man Discovered In a Dark Closet, Casually Munching On Salad

A man who was wanted for stealing a car and shoplifting in Monroe County, Tenn. was discovered inside the dark closet of another person's house, casually eating a big bowl of salad, WRCB3 reports.

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20 Oct 16:21

Marcel the Shell (With Shoes On) Returns, Is Still Adorable

by Jay Hathaway
Krankota

This is absolutely delightful, y'all.

Comedian Jenny Slate has brought back her most famous character, the adorably earnest little Marcel the Shell (With Shoes On) for a surprise third installment of his YouTube series. Slate's also-very-funny husband, Dean Fleischer-Camp, returns as Marcel's unseen, but very understanding interviewer.

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19 Oct 16:13

Here Are Some Otters Eating Sushi From Chopsticks

by C.A. Pinkham
Krankota

I love this so much.

Because you've been good, here's a video of otters eating sushi from chopsticks. You're welcome, world.

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17 Oct 20:11

These Are Our Favorite Vines

by Tom Ley on Rabbithole, shared by Tom Ley to Deadspin

These Are Our Favorite Vines

Vine is great. The Deadspin staff spends a good chunk of every work day sharing and laughing at Vines, and earlier today I asked everyone to share their favorite Vine of all time with me. These are the responses I got.

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20 Oct 04:49

One TV Station Is Willing To Tell The Truth

by Timothy Burke on screengrabber, shared by Timothy Burke to Deadspin
Krankota

Hahahaha!

One TV Station Is Willing To Tell The Truth

Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to tips@deadspin.com.

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17 Oct 20:56

This Woman Wants You To Help Her Bone Sergio Romo

by Tom Ley
Krankota

The internet is really doing a great job today!

This Woman Wants You To Help Her Bone Sergio Romo

We got a lot of emails this week, but none were better than the one we received on Wednesday from a woman who calls herself K.G. We want to share it with you, not only because we admire K.G.'s free-spirited outlook on life, but because she is seeking assistance.

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17 Oct 18:00

All Pumpkin Everything: How Did Fall Turn Into Nutmeg Season?

by Will Gordon
Krankota

Finally some goddamn perspective.

All Pumpkin Everything: How Did Fall Turn Into Nutmeg Season?

The list of pumpkin-spiced items to which we are seasonally exposed grows longer every year: Since Starbucks opened the floodgates with the Pumpkin Spice Latte in 2003, we've been enticed, repulsed, and confused by similarly flavored vodka, bagels, yogurt, donuts, oatmeal, M&Ms, etc. And yes, this year they even came for our Oreos.

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17 Oct 18:47

Brooklynites Demand Removal of Homeless to Make Park Safe for Dogs

by Hamilton Nolan
Krankota

White people! smdh

Brooklynites Demand Removal of Homeless to Make Park Safe for Dogs

Fort Greene is one of the loveliest, and most expensive, neighborhoods in Brooklyn. It's the neighborhood that inspired Spike Lee's anti-gentrification rant earlier this year. Wealthy Fort Greene dog owners will not put up with homeless people, in the park.

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17 Oct 16:47

Dinosaurs

by Reza
Krankota

Ha!

dinosaurs

16 Oct 00:30

The World’s Best Cat Ruined This Woman’s Ukulele Solo

by isaacand
Krankota

So simple and so delightful.

This lovely woman *wrote a song about dentists and pretty girls and being scared of the dark. Then she grabbed her ukulele, plopped in front of a camera and went to town. And you know what, it was good, damn good really. Girl was rockin’ out for a few verses there.

But then her damn cat got involved, knocked over the camera. That’s when our heroine absolutely lost her mind.

*UPDATE
: This a cover of Vance Joy’s “Riptide.”

16 Oct 15:50

Calvin Peeing On Obama Isn’t The Most Redneck Thing About This Texan’s Truck

by Josh Kurp
Krankota

Meanwhile, in Tyler...

texas truck

REDDIT


I could stare at this photo, taken in Tyler, Texas, for the rest of the day (and will!). It’s like a Magic Eye where the longer you look at it, the more you see. Not only is our president wearing a turban and Calvin is peeing on him and the driver stopped short of spelling out “ass” (he wanted to teach, not offend), but if you look closely, you’ll notice that the banana is dangling from a fishing rod taped to the truck.

Honestly, I’m impressed. Horrified, but impressed.

Via Reddit

16 Oct 15:40

The New York Giants Were Briefed About Ebola Before Their Game In Dallas

by isaacand
Krankota

That's a good checklist to follow.

Eli Manning face

FOX


Two people have contracted Ebola in the United States. Both these people were nurses with close contact to patient zero, Thomas Eric Duncan. Despite all that, people are freaking the hell out. This includes the NFL, who briefed the New York Giants ahead of their game in Dallas.

“Our athletic trainers and team physicians have been briefed on the scope of the Ebola virus disease,” Pat Hanlon, the team’s senior vice president of communications, told the newspaper Wednesday in an email. “We have distributed a fact sheet to our employees and distributed similar information to our players electronically this morning.’’

Eli Manning added:

“With what we’re doing and where we’re staying, I think we’ll be fine.”

Let’s go through the checklist, shall we guys?

1) Don’t stay at the Texas Presbyterian Hospital…check
2) Don’t go into the room where the infected nurses are staying…check
3) Don’t have sex with the infected nurses…check

Pretty sure you’re good from there guys. Enjoy your stay in the Big D.

[Dallas Morning News]

16 Oct 14:40

Aaron Rodgers’ Doppleganger Made His Way To Green Bay To Fool The Locals

by Brian Sharp

Tom Wrigglesworth

Tom Wrigglesworth is a British stand-up comedian. Earlier this year while appearing on a show on the Science Channel, it was discovered by viewers that he bore a striking resemblance to Aaron Rodgers. On Wednesday, NFL Films released a video of Wrigglesworth making his way to Green Bay to meet with Packers fans to see if he could fool the locals into believing he was actually Aaron Rodgers. Later, he would end up at Lambeau Field to meet some of the Packers players, as well as Aaron Rodgers himself. The results were spectacular.

Aside from their throwing motions (and probably 50 pounds or so), the resemblance is uncanny. I wonder if Rodgers would be willing to fly to England to do some standup comedy.

“Oh thank you, thank you. Oh stop you’re too kind. I just flew in from Green Bay and boy are my arms tired.”

Make it happen, NFL Films.

 

16 Oct 03:02

Paul Rudd Invites Royals Fans To Kegger At His Mom's House

by Kevin Draper

Paul Rudd is from Kansas City (actually Overland Park) and seems like a pretty fun and chill guy, so you can trust that he knows the sweetest place to celebrate the Royals winning the American League pennant. And that place isn't the Power & Light District, Westport, or some over-priced joint on The Plaza. No, the place to be tonight is the kegger at Paul's mom's house. Don't worry about being out of place, because you're definitely invited. Everybody is invited!

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14 Oct 18:00

A Glossary For Common Acronyms In Parenting Forums

by Mallory Ortberg

BF = bullfighting

DH = Don Henley (everyone is married to Don Henley)

BFP = big fucking prince (if a big fucking prince appears in your house)

MIL = mops in living room

DD = Dudley Do-Right

DF = death fog

MOH = Master of Hessians

DPO = don't party outside

Read more A Glossary For Common Acronyms In Parenting Forums at The Toast.

15 Oct 16:58

Look At This Fat Dog

by Samer Kalaf on The Concourse, shared by Samer Kalaf to Deadspin

Look At This Fat Dog

A friend I trust sent this fat dog to me. It is real. We have taken steps to protect his identity.

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10 Oct 14:00

Normal Milestones In Child Development

by Mallory Ortberg

0-1 months 

  • Capable of babbling at parents and other familiar figures
  • Often seen speaking to a presence invisible
  • Vocalizations come from someplace deeper and more primal than the throat
  • Caul of silk appears around the face
  • Soul impermanence

1-3 months

15 Oct 15:59

Good With People

by Reza

good-with-people

14 Oct 19:46

The Future Of The Culture Wars Is Here, And It's Gamergate

by Kyle Wagner
Krankota

This is a really great article.

The Future Of The Culture Wars Is Here, And It's Gamergate

Over the weekend, a game developer in Boston named Brianna Wu fled her home after an online stalker vowed to rape and kill her. She isn't the first woman who's been forced into hiding by aggrieved video game fans associated with Gamergate, the self-styled reform movement that's become difficult to ignore over the past several months as its beliefs have ramified out from the fever swamps of the internet into the real world. She probably won't be the last.

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14 Oct 00:05

Martha Stewart Mocks Gwyneth Paltrow With 'Conscious Coupling' Spread

by Rebecca Rose
Krankota

OH SNAP

Martha Stewart Mocks Gwyneth Paltrow With 'Conscious Coupling' Spread

Do you think you know how to feud with someone? You don't know shit.

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13 Oct 22:00

This Puppy On The Field Is The Cutest Idiot On The Field

by Greg Howard on Screamer, shared by Greg Howard to Deadspin

Aw, jeez.

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09 Oct 16:00

Please Don’t Forget That American Classic The Godfather Had An Important Subplot About A Big Vagina

by Mallory Ortberg
Krankota

What in the actual fuck.

I'm worried that not enough people are aware that Mario Puzo's The Godfather, bestselling classic and source material for beloved films The Godfather, parts I and II, features a significant subplot about a woman named Lucy Mancini who is friendly with the Corleone family and whose biggest problem is her roomy vagina.

A lot of people think I'm joking, when I tell them that. I'm not joking. There are a significant number of pages given to Lucy's vagina problem. As someone on Twitter pointed out, "this is sort of like if a fifth of The Great Gatsby was about how one of the party guests had one leg that was shorter than the other."

Think, for a moment, about how close we all came to living in a world where universally-acclaimed masculinist classic The Godfather devoted a half-hour of screen time to a minor character's vagina surgery.

Read more Please Don’t Forget That American Classic The Godfather Had An Important Subplot About A Big Vagina at The Toast.

06 Oct 04:00

October 06, 2014

Krankota

Ha! That was an unexpected punchline.

13 Oct 04:00

Lightsaber

Krankota

SCIENCE!

A long time in the future, in a galaxy far, far, away, astronomers in the year 2008 sight an unusual gamma-ray burst originating from somewhere far across the universe.
09 Oct 20:39

We Have A Halloween Cereal Problem

by Albert Burneko
Krankota

Ha!

We Have A Halloween Cereal Problem

It's Halloween season, now, and if you've taken your keen consumer eye into certain participating supermarket chains, you may have noticed the (for a limited time only!) return of the familiar monster-themed General Mills cereals of yore: Count Chocula, Franken-Berry, and Boo-Berry.

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11 Oct 18:48

How To Braise A Big Chuck Roast, And Stave Off Scurvy, For Now

by Albert Burneko
Krankota

This sounds pretty amazing.

How To Braise A Big Chuck Roast, And Stave Off Scurvy, For Now

Living the life of a regular person—teetering indefinitely on the edge of total destitution, that is to say—you get familiar with the tension between the limits of your financial wherewithal and the ugh like totally selfish desire to not just eat pasta and plain rice and cereal all the time and get scurvy.

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10 Oct 15:26

Winter

by Reza

winter