Amber.pasternak

First up...
The shortlist for the Cybils was announced this week and it is going to be a hard decision for 2ns round judges.  All the contenders are just so good.  This year, I am happy to be a 2nd round judge in the Middle Grade Fiction category and I am looking forward to [re]reading the books that were chosen by the 1st round judges.  You can view the complete list of all the books in all the categories on the Cybils website.



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I wished it and now my wish has come true - Alyson Beecher has announced the 2014 Nonfiction Picture Book Reading Challenge but with a twist.  This year you can read not just nonfiction picture book, but also middle grade and YA nonfiction.  If you would like to know more about this or if you would like to participate, you can find the details over at Kid Lit Frenzy.  This was a fun reading challenge last year and it got me to read more nonfiction than I usually do.

Basically, Tess Derbyfield’s life was one middle finger after another.

With George Zimmerman free from domestic violence charges thanks to his girlfriend changing her story so they can reunite and continue trying to find ways to get paid for TV appearances, he now has time to return to his true passion: pulling a gun at the drop of a hat painting! Apparently George Zimmerman is quite the artiste and his newest painting is already just shy of $100,000 on eBay because America is a shithole full of dumb and guns. And while I was at first happy that a moronic husk of humanity would be down $100 grand in three days, Mediaite reports that the “painting” was clearly Photoshopped from a Shutterstock stock image which could potentially negate the sale:

The best guess is that Zimmerman wanted to paint an American flag, so he searched for an image of one on Shutterstock or another site that features that company’s images and then just painted over it. While there’s no big art rule that says use of multimedia or even tracing is inherently “bad,” Zimmerman does not disclose the use of the foundation image, calling the piece “original” and “hand-painted.”
Seeing as Shutterstock’s images are copyrighted and are not free to use, things could potentially become legally complicated if Zimmerman did, indeed, crib the image from the stock photo company.

George Zimmerman has reportedly agreed to private negotiations with Shutterstock, but as of this post, all that could be heard from the room were a series of loud bangs followed by the sound of a window being opened. I’m sure it was nothing.

I have written papers on existential philosophy that is easier to bullshit which by the way is basically a class about a horny French philosopher by the name of Sartre who wanted to basically justify all the stupid shit he has done in his life.  

I didn’t realize that when you said to email you our essays you didn’t want them written as an email.

Many thanksgivings have left my lips but none so full of truth than the day that I whispered it over you softly, so as not to overburden your yet unformed ears with the sound.

I am thankful for many things, not the least of which are tiny lungs that fill with air and expend all the energy she can muster, bursting forth with what we in the south call “a holler.” She screams now, in the background of my phone conversations is a constant screeching noise, distracting, and I am thankful for the irritation because remember when a machine breathed for her? Remember when they said the damage meant that sound might not come? Remember when her cries were miniature and trapped by the plastic of the box she lived in?

Today I am honored to be writing over at Incourage, where my gratitude extends for a sacred space in which to share my story. This is the story of the first Thanksgiving that I spent with my daughter, just a few weeks old, when we were both fighting to breathe. I hope that you will read it, and that reading it today will bless you in the way that living it has blessed me. Happy Thanksgiving.

By now if you are a grumpy American who hates happiness, joy, and Christmas, you’ve heard of Krampus.

Wait! I haven’t. But I do hate all those things. Tell me more.

Krampus is the shaggy-haired. horned sidekick of St. Nicholas, who whacks bad children with this bundle of sticks, throws them into a bucket and takes them to…I’m not sure where exactly Krampus takes them to, and as long as it’s not my house, I really don’t want to know.

When does Krampus come calling?

December 5th is Krampusnacht, the night St. Nicholas and his pal parade through town scaring the bejeezus out of children. While a tradition in the Alpine countries, Krampus is relatively new to the United States. But he’s gaining popularity, which cheers my black little heart.

I have some rotten kids I need to shuffle off on someone. Where can I meet Krampus?

Here’s a not-totally-comprehensive list of krampuslaufen in the United States:

The third annual Krampuslauf Philadelphia encourages revelers to dress up like other terrifying pagan figures such as the Yule Lads. Here’s a bit from last year’s lauf (although I don’t think any of these kids look properly terrorized):

There were a few more screamers at last year’s Krampus Night in Bloomington, Indiana:

Then again, I don’t see any children at The PDX Krampusnacht Ball. Maybe in Portland, Krampus throws hipsters in his basket and takes them back to their crappy Midwest hometowns.

Speaking of which: you can also eat Breakfast with Krampus in Rochester, New York. I’ve long suspected that Krampus takes all those rotten kids to the Rust Belt, so this doesn’t really surprise me. You’re invited to bring an unwrapped toy for needy children, but “if it’s crap, Krampus is going to harrass you and drag you straight to hell.”

Last but not least, Krampus Los Angeles goes large: there are multiple events throughout the city during the month of December. Also: don’t miss The Truth About Krampus by Krampusfest LA director Al Ridenour on Atlas Obscura.

Any Krampus events near you? Let us know in the comments!

A covenant is a legal spiritual agreement between a person and God.  This was shown in a Barmitzfa, when children accept Christ into their lives and promise to follow him.

Hello, and Welcome to Munchen, Minnesota!

Like a lot of older industrial cities in the Midwest, Munchen (pronounced “Munchin’”) has fallen on hard economic times. As people and businesses have moved away, many of the town’s neighborhoods have emptied, leaving old houses vacant and crumbling. Crime is rampant. The public schools are in disarray.

But Munchen’s got an even more serious problem: It’s on the verge of a supernatural invasion. The threat seems to loom ever larger as the town declines. And the only people with the power to save it are a geeky teenage girl, her gay librarian father, and an ambitious city planner who didn’t have a clue what he was in for when he transferred from the East Coast.

This blog is a platform that Christine and Justin developed for launching our series about Munchen and its unlikely heroes. It is our Sunnydale, if Sunnydale were in flyover country and overcast 267 days of the year. We’re both attracted to the mystique that place holds for certain people – whether for good or ill. Munchen is as much a character in our story as any of our humans (or non-humans).

We developed Munchen after deciding to try our hand at writing a TV pilot. After a couple months crafting characters over feta omelets at My Friends Restaurant in Cleveland, we enrolled in Wendy Riss‘s class, Writing the TV Pilot, to learn how shows are plotted and structured.

We’re planning to launch “Welcome to Munchen” as a serial, though right now we’re still experimenting with format. Will it be a web comic? A series of e-books? A full-cast audio production? Surely the answer will come to us in a dream, or leap out from behind a door when we least expect it.

Meanwhile, we’re going to chatter at you about writing, weird fiction, creatures with sharp teeth, and the forgotten places at the far corners of the psyche. Oh and also TV.

–Justin and Christine

John Cleese turns 74 today, which is great because it gives us all an excuse to enjoy this clip from the Life of Brian and contemplate all the wonderful things the Romans have done for us.

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The few problems that I see is that humanity is so fixated on making sure everything has only one true definition that they don’t stop to realize that maybe there is no such thing as anything.

Each year, millions of children enjoy trick-or-treating on October 31. However, for some children, traditional candy isn’t an option. Between childhood obesity, juvenile diabetes, food allergies, and other special needs, the population of children excluded from Halloween traditions grows each year. Help us make Halloween fun for ALL kids! It’s a simple three-step process: Add some non-food treats […]

I don’t think they should try more than once in 8days because it’s too much. Not mention the female usually ejaculates way before the man so the sperm of both male and female will not interact immediately. It’s also been said that the females usually ejaculates during sleep time. I don’t know if that would be possible to concept then, because the male wouldn’t know when to. I also think when the woman is ready to concept she should tell her partner because the woman is the key holder of ejaculating when she wants to. It’s like she can shut it on or off at any time.

(+61): A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM.

(206): I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.

For example, if I wanted to I could take someone to Antarctica to kill her because Eskimos think it’s ok to murder girls.

(858): I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well".

(781): Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.

My friend Angela over at AJ Arndt Books Blog a Young Adult Summer Reading Flowchart that was too good not to repost.  After all, the dog days of summer are just ahead and what would be nicer that curling up with a good book or two before school begins?  Here is a chart that has something for everyone, depending on what you are in the mood for.  So, take a look and maybe, find a good book.


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