The NFL had just finished sweeping Adrian Peterson under the rug yesterday when barely a few hours later Jonathan Dwyer was arrested for allegedly assaulting his wife (twice) and 18-month-old son because it was only a matter of time before Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson formed their own fucked-up Voltron. TMZ Sports reports:
According to police, the 25-year-old allegedly roughed up his wife at their home in Phoenix on July 21st and again on July 22nd.
Shortly after the incidents, cops say, Dwyer’s wife left the state with their child.
Cops list 2 victims — a 27-year-old female (his wife) and their 18-month-old child.
Amazingly, the Cardinals immediately suspended him instead of waiting for pressure from corporate sponsors who have to be going, “Goddammit, AGAIN?!” by now. That said, let’s make sure we still have a rational dialog about this because football is serious business. Okay, so we all agree beating his wife is wrong (provided there’s video), but was the one-year-old perhaps in need of a whooping? Because we should probably take that into consideration before condemning a grown 25-year-old professional athlete for physically assaulting an infant. Hitting an adult is one thing which is why we have crimes against it, but don’t nobody tell no one how to raise their kids. All clear? Good. Now let’s move on to Stat Man which is what I’m calling this special brand of commenter that popped in our threads under the name “teddy r” while someone by the name of “GMAN” made essentially the same bullshit argument on TMZ’s Dwyer story:
And still compared to the national average of men in the same age range, NFL players commit far far less domestic violence and overall crime. TMZ would never report this because it doesn’t jive with their agenda. But the stats are out there for anyone to see.
If you’re scratching your head, that’s because this shitbird is literally arguing that because the NFL has a lower crime rate than the national average, the media should really be reporting on how awesome football players are instead of focusing on the times they finally manage to get charged with domestic violence and/or child abuse. It’s not like these guys are ducking arrests skewing those statistics or held up as role models by schools, parents, and hundreds of every other institution in America that over-glorifies sports, so let’s let ‘em off the hook for beating the shit out of women and children. They seem like good people.
"What happened to your arm?"
"I was walking down the stairs and looking at the stars."
“My grandmother always told me: ‘It doesn’t matter if you’re crippled, blind, or crazy. All this world cares about is how you survive. As long as you don’t do drugs or go to jail, you’re gonna be fine.’”
“What do you mean by: ‘The world only cares about how you survive?’”
“The only thing people care about is if you’re working, and if you’re paying your taxes. I worked for the city for six years. During the time that I was working, I was Mr. Matthew Phillips. The moment that I wasn’t able to work anymore, I became a social security number.’”
This is the BLURBOMAT feed
I don’t know how he did it, but this is an amazing piece of writing in the face of the worst news a parent could get regarding their own health. Sending all the best energy I have to Oren and his family. Cancer | A Blogger and a Father: “”
We’re huge fans of sweet potatoes at our house. And muffins. And Indian food.
When I saw this muffin recipe and noticed it had garam masala in it, I made a weird face. That’s the honest truth.
If you’re not familiar with Indian spices, garam masala is a spice blend commonly used in curries and other Indian dishes. Not something you’d find in a muffin, that’s for sure.
It sounded odd to me, but I really, really wanted to try it. (Story of my cooking life, much to my kids’ dismay.)
I won over all three of my picky little girls with these muffins, though! Spiced Sweet Potato Muffins, submitted by Tasty Kitchen member Kristin, are an exotic spin on a simple sweet potato muffin. They’re not only gluten-free, but they’re grain-free as well and easily made dairy-free!
And they have chocolate chips. Maybe that’s why they liked them so much?
OK, let’s gather ingredients. You’ll need cold, mashed sweet potatoes, almond flour, real maple syrup, nut butter (I used almond), chocolate chips, cinnamon, cocoa powder, garam masala, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and vanilla extract.
Here’s my garam masala. You can find it in most grocery stores nowadays in the spice section. I ordered mine online a while back and have been refilling this bottle with a homemade blend.
First crack the eggs into a large mixing bowl and loosen them up with a fork.
Add the sweet potatoes, nut butter, and maple syrup.
Mix it up until you get something that resembles pumpkin pie filling. Speaking of pumpkin, you could totally use canned pumpkin in place of sweet potatoes in this! Just add an extra splash or two of maple syrup.
Add the almond flour and the rest of the dry ingredients.
Mix it well, and then fold the chocolate chips into the batter. The nice thing about not using wheat flour is that you don’t have to worry as much about over-mixing and ending up with cone-head muffins!
Scoop the batter into muffin molds. I used a silicone muffin pan, but you can use any type you like. I would recommend using paper liners if you don’t use a silicone pan so they come out easier. And in one piece.
Throw them in the oven …
… and out they come! I’ve consistently gotten 11 muffins out of this batch, and I’ve also double and tripled this recipe before with success. They also freeze and reheat nicely!
These tasty little grain-free morsels have become a staple in our muffin collection! I thought the spices blended beautifully with the sweet potatoes. And the chocolate chips were a nice touch. (They usually are.)
1. I omitted the yogurt to make them dairy free. Because it was only one tablespoon, I didn’t think it would make a big difference if I left it out.
2. Garam masala is a potent blend, and after making this recipe several times, I decided to cut the amount down by two-thirds. Any more than a 1/2 teaspoon gave the muffins a strange, “am I eating curry or a muffin” flavor. Perhaps my spice blend is more potent because I make it myself? Try it and see what you think!
A healthy and gluten free baked good that’s perfect for fall.
1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
2. In a large bowl, whisk the two eggs with a fork until they are a bit frothy.
3. Stir in sweet potato puree, peanut butter, yogurt and maple syrup.
4. Add all of the remaining ingredients except the chocolate/cacao chips. Once all the dry ingredients are combined stir in the chips.
5. Line a 12-count standard size muffin pan with muffin liners (I used silicone muffin liners, which I love), and fill each muffin tin. These muffins expand some, but not a lot, so you can fill them almost to the top.
6. Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. I rotate the pan once, halfway through the cooking. Remove pan from oven and set on a rack.
7. Let muffins cool in the pan before serving.
Be sure to check out Natalie’s own beautiful food blog, Perrys’ Plate, where you can see her growing collection of lovely recipes. There’s always something new to see there. Go visit now!
On February 1, 2013, actress Sam Futerman got the most astonishing Facebook message. A French fashion designed living in London named Anais saw her in a Youtube video, and realized that they looked exactly alike. While messaging back and forth, the two also found out that they were born on the same day and in the same city in South Korea, before Sam was adopted by an American family, and Anais by a French one.
Being a man is a good thing when getting a job, they don’t get periods, they don’t take as long to get ready, and they very rarely get kidnapped and raped.
Basically, Tess Derbyfield’s life was one middle finger after another.
With George Zimmerman free from domestic violence charges thanks to his girlfriend changing her story so they can reunite and continue trying to find ways to get paid for TV appearances, he now has time to return to his true passion:
pulling a gun at the drop of a hat painting! Apparently George Zimmerman is quite the artiste and his newest painting is already just shy of $100,000 on eBay because America is a shithole full of dumb and guns. And while I was at first happy that a moronic husk of humanity would be down $100 grand in three days, Mediaite reports that the “painting” was clearly Photoshopped from a Shutterstock stock image which could potentially negate the sale:
The best guess is that Zimmerman wanted to paint an American flag, so he searched for an image of one on Shutterstock or another site that features that company’s images and then just painted over it. While there’s no big art rule that says use of multimedia or even tracing is inherently “bad,” Zimmerman does not disclose the use of the foundation image, calling the piece “original” and “hand-painted.”
Seeing as Shutterstock’s images are copyrighted and are not free to use, things could potentially become legally complicated if Zimmerman did, indeed, crib the image from the stock photo company.
George Zimmerman has reportedly agreed to private negotiations with Shutterstock, but as of this post, all that could be heard from the room were a series of loud bangs followed by the sound of a window being opened. I’m sure it was nothing.
I have written papers on existential philosophy that is easier to bullshit which by the way is basically a class about a horny French philosopher by the name of Sartre who wanted to basically justify all the stupid shit he has done in his life.
I didn’t realize that when you said to email you our essays you didn’t want them written as an email.
Many thanksgivings have left my lips but none so full of truth than the day that I whispered it over you softly, so as not to overburden your yet unformed ears with the sound.
I am thankful for many things, not the least of which are tiny lungs that fill with air and expend all the energy she can muster, bursting forth with what we in the south call “a holler.” She screams now, in the background of my phone conversations is a constant screeching noise, distracting, and I am thankful for the irritation because remember when a machine breathed for her? Remember when they said the damage meant that sound might not come? Remember when her cries were miniature and trapped by the plastic of the box she lived in?
Today I am honored to be writing over at Incourage, where my gratitude extends for a sacred space in which to share my story. This is the story of the first Thanksgiving that I spent with my daughter, just a few weeks old, when we were both fighting to breathe. I hope that you will read it, and that reading it today will bless you in the way that living it has blessed me. Happy Thanksgiving.
"Maybe in Portland, Krampus throws hipsters in his basket and takes them back to their crappy Midwest hometowns."
By now if you are a grumpy American who hates happiness, joy, and Christmas, you’ve heard of Krampus.
Wait! I haven’t. But I do hate all those things. Tell me more.
Krampus is the shaggy-haired. horned sidekick of St. Nicholas, who whacks bad children with this bundle of sticks, throws them into a bucket and takes them to…I’m not sure where exactly Krampus takes them to, and as long as it’s not my house, I really don’t want to know.
When does Krampus come calling?
December 5th is Krampusnacht, the night St. Nicholas and his pal parade through town scaring the bejeezus out of children. While a tradition in the Alpine countries, Krampus is relatively new to the United States. But he’s gaining popularity, which cheers my black little heart.
I have some rotten kids I need to shuffle off on someone. Where can I meet Krampus?
Here’s a not-totally-comprehensive list of krampuslaufen in the United States:
The third annual Krampuslauf Philadelphia encourages revelers to dress up like other terrifying pagan figures such as the Yule Lads. Here’s a bit from last year’s lauf (although I don’t think any of these kids look properly terrorized):
There were a few more screamers at last year’s Krampus Night in Bloomington, Indiana:
Then again, I don’t see any children at The PDX Krampusnacht Ball. Maybe in Portland, Krampus throws hipsters in his basket and takes them back to their crappy Midwest hometowns.
Speaking of which: you can also eat Breakfast with Krampus in Rochester, New York. I’ve long suspected that Krampus takes all those rotten kids to the Rust Belt, so this doesn’t really surprise me. You’re invited to bring an unwrapped toy for needy children, but “if it’s crap, Krampus is going to harrass you and drag you straight to hell.”
Last but not least, Krampus Los Angeles goes large: there are multiple events throughout the city during the month of December. Also: don’t miss The Truth About Krampus by Krampusfest LA director Al Ridenour on Atlas Obscura.
Any Krampus events near you? Let us know in the comments!
A covenant is a legal spiritual agreement between a person and God. This was shown in a Barmitzfa, when children accept Christ into their lives and promise to follow him.
John Cleese turns 74 today, which is great because it gives us all an excuse to enjoy this clip from the Life of Brian and contemplate all the wonderful things the Romans have done for us.