pileofcrapola

We're always grateful to our women and men in the armed forces for keeping us safe. Our country shows its gratitude by giving some discounts to former and current members of the armed forces. Rather Be Shopping has compiled a list of all the discounts military families can get.

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Egg salad is a great lunch for work or a picnic. You've got a variety of ways to crush the eggs, but the best way is with your hands.

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To many car lovers, the idea of paying a stranger to change your oil is just wrong. Some people don't have the time or the inclination to pull off the self-serve oil change and they often go to those quickie oil change places. This can lead to horrific results.

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You already know the common strategies for saving money: Automatically set aside a portion of your paycheck, stick to a budget, plan your purchases, and so on. But there are also simple (if surprising) psychology tricks that can help us save even more. Here are ten such mind hacks.

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Being a good speaker is easy, but being a good listener is a lot harder. If you're trying to work on your listening skills, The Wall Street Journal outlines a few simple tips to help you tune in.

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If you set your mind to it, you can achieve most short-term goals, like losing weight in a few months. Future targets are much more difficult, like where you see yourself three years down the line. Before you set off on these long-term goals, it's good to know what pitfalls you can expect and mentally prepare for them.

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Most of us have an opinion one way or another about having children (and for those who aren't sure yet, this post may be especially for you). We asked you the reasons behind your choice, and here are some of the best ones we heard.

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Most of us assume keywords only really matter when it comes to getting your resume past a bot and into human hands . A new survey of over 3 million resumes, all ranked by hiring managers, reveals that keywords are still important to people, too, and leaving them off could cost you an interview.

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It may sound like the last thing you want to do, but The Art of Manliness explains why you should grab your shower cap, bite your lip, and jump into an ice-cold shower.

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You nominated many dashboards full of smartphone car mounts, and we've dug through to come up with the five most popular. Now it's time to vote by starring your favorite.

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If you already finished all of your back-to-school shopping back in June when Staples started up its sale campaigns, maybe it’s time to get started on other ridiculously early holiday tasks. For example, it’s almost August: do you have your kids’ Halloween costumes ready?

Tim was shopping at Costco when he noticed these racks of costumes. Of course, children are fun because some of them like to wear costumes year-round, but this is clearly a display for highly organized parents who are planning way ahead.

Those dollar purchases really add up, but for Dollar Tree it’s just one proposed purchase that’s creating a rather substantial tab. The discount store recently announced plans to acquire its larger rival Family Dollar.

Chesapeake, VA-based Dollar Tree announced Monday that it would acquire Matthews, NC-based Family Dollar for a whopping $8.5 billion, CNNMoney reports.

Combined, Dollar Tree and Family Dollar have more than 13,000 stores and annual revenues of $18 billion, propelling the combined company ahead of current dollar store leader Dollar General which operates 11,000 stores and has $17.5 billion in revenue.

Officials with Dollar Tree say in a news release that the company will continue to operate under both brands when the merger is completed in early 2015.

Dollar store chains experienced a period of high patronage during the recession when consumers traded in shopping trips to big box retailers for those at discount joints. Companies, such as Family Dollar and Dollar General, took their popularity as a sign that consumers needed more stores, and a dollar store bubble was born.

It appeared that bubble may have been on the verge of bursting earlier this year when Family Dollar announced it would close 370 stores, reduce staff and cut prices on more than 1,00 items. It’s unclear if the proposed merger would change any of those plans.

Dollar stores joining forces [CNNMoney]

Calling all avians with a thirst for the hard stuff — workers at an IKEA store in Florida are handing out rum to birds for free. Not because IKEA decided to open a bar for our feathered friends, but to try and get a couple bothersome birds drunk enough on rum that they’d slow down and be easier to catch.

The store isn’t open yet, but employees were still annoyed by a pair of birds flying around the building pooping everywhere. They’ve ruined at least one mattress that had to be thrown out, reports CBS Miami, and were proving elusive.

That’s when workers had the idea to soak bread crumbs in rum, in the hopes of impairing the birds’ ability to drive themselves home and instead just get tipsy enough to dull their reflexes. That way, workers could catch them more easily and then release them humanely.

While IKEA officials confirmed the rum plan had been tried, it didn’t say whether or not that’s what eventually got the birds to go. A spokesperson said the company didn’t want to harm wildlife, so it hired an expert to get the birds back to the wild and off all that MALM furniture.

“We reached out to bird abatement contractors and provided direction to ensure removal as respectfully as possible,” said the rep. “Basically, we hired someone to take care of it in a good way and they did.”

Rum seems like a pretty good way to get captured, just saying.

Exclusive: Ikea Workers Try Rum Trick To Remove Bothersome Birds [CBS Miami]

The world has gone entirely mad. That’s the only reason I can think of for why someone would create a chair that not only feels like human flesh (shudder shudder shudder, okay that’s better) but also looks like it and smells like it, too. Nope, not done yet (shudder shudder shudder aaaand shudder).

It’s at least a relief to know that the chair isn’t made from the skin of humans who have been imprisoned in a pit with only a yappy dog and a basket of lotion to pass the time: According to Quartz, the London-based designer Gigi Barker spent two years perfecting the texture and smell of the furniture’s “pheromone-impregnated” silicone base.

That way, you can feel like you’re relaxing in the lap of a giant who smells vaguely of aftershave. Because that’s the scent the designer used to infuse her chair with humanness — the same aftershave worn by the anonymous guy whose form serves as the inspiration for the piny, peachy, flesh-colored set.

You can buy your own human furniture (SHUDDER sorry, that one slipped out) for the bargain basement price of £1,500 ($2,545) and a matching ottoman is £440 ($747).

Finally, a chair that replicates the look, feel, and smell of human flesh [Quartz]

Any beachgoers that enjoy puffing away on a cigarette while they sit on the sand or frolic in the surf may have to get their nicotine fix elsewhere, as Oregon has proposed a ban on smoking that would include all 362 miles of beaches on its coastline.

The Oregon Parks and Recreation Department has followed up an earlier ban on smoking at most state park properties with this proposal, partly because the agency is worried that all those smokers pushed out of parks will come to the beach, reports the Associated Press.

The move would also serve to cut down on litter on the beaches and ensure consistent rules throughout the entire state parks system, an agency spokesman added.

According to the executive director of a nonprofit organization called SOLVE that collects trash on Oregon beaches, cigarette butts are the most prolific item.

“Most of the debris picked up by the volunteers consists of either small plastic items or cigarette butts, which both harm marine life in various ways,” she told the AP.

Those caught smoking could face a $110 fine under the proposed ban, though the department would rather educate visitors and save the heavy fines for the worst repeat offenders. Park rangers would be responsible for enforcing the ban, as they are for the February ban that only allows smoking inside vehicles or campsites when on state park property, or in specially designated areas in day-use parks.

Rangers have already started asking people to put out their cigarettes in state parks, but won’t start ticketing anyone until next year, the spokesperson adds.

Oregon moves to ban smoking along its Pacific coastline [Associated Press]

While Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s get the headlines, Wawona Packing Company sold fruit that’s potentially contaminated with Listeria to wholesalers, who then sold it to local and regional grocers. According to Food Safety News, reports in the media indicate that contaminated fruit may have been sold at Food 4 Less, Foods Co., Giant Food Stores, Martins, Hannaford, BJ’s Wholesale, Dillons, Save-a-Lot, Fry’s Food Stores, King Soopers, Raley’s, Stop & Shop, Big Y Foods, and Ralphs. [Food Safety News]

Just like the rest of the Internet, Yelp is not immune to idiots who pepper their “reviews” with boorish, sexist statements that are probably intended to be funny. Most businesses would simply ignore this sort of non-feedback, but a restaurant in Portland (the one to the upper-left) saw a chance to turn a cheap abortion-based semi-joke into a worthwhile cause.

On the Yelp page for East Portland eatery EastBurn, someone named “Lee M.” wrote the following groaner (which has since been deleted):

“My friend and I picked up some hot girls here, but he got his pregnant. But she was Canadian so she went home and got a free abortion so it’s all cool now. You can get grilled cheeses here for $5.”

To which EastBurn owner Mike Bender replied:

“5 stars to you Lee M. for making an example of how this kind of disrespect toward women is shameful and not at all funny… As a thank you for spotlighting this kind of behavior, all proceeds through August from the sale of EastBurn’s Grilled Cheeses will go to the Portland Women’s Crisis Line.”

“It just seemed like a good thing to do,” Bender tells the Oregonian about his decision to donate the money to the crisis line. “We do a lot of benefits here and thought it was a good opportunity to give back…It’s especially pervasive in the restaurant industry [disrespect towards women] and it’s not cool.”

[via Eater]

You see an ice cream sandwich and think, “Mmm, ice cream sandwich!” But wait — it’s been sitting out for more than 24 hours… and it’s still recognizable as an ice cream sandwich. Something seems freaky here.

We joined one woman in a collective side-eye at the idea of an ice cream sandwich that refuses to melt, even after spending hours outside of the freezer’s frigid embrace. It just didn’t seem right, the Cincinnati mom told WCPO News (warning: link has video that autoplays), after she found her son’s ice cream sandwich sitting mostly intact on the patio table, 12 hours after he left it there, on an 80-degree day.

“I thought that’s quite weird,” she said of the Walmart Great Value brand sandwich. “So I looked at the box, and it doesn’t say artificial ice cream. It says ice cream.”

She repeated the experiment with another sandwich and got the same result. That made her wonder what could possibly be in there to extend the life of a very meltable food past what would seem reasonable.

Walmart says it’s just got less cream in there, making it more affordable, it said in a statement to WCPO (*editor’s note: a previous version of this post said there was more cream, based on the print statement accompanying WCPO’s news story. That statement appears to be wrong or at least contradicts itself in the video with a totally different statement regarding the amount of cream.).

So basically don’t worry about it not melting, it’s cheap!

Other ingredients might have something to do with it as well — WCPO points out that the Walmart sandwich includes corn syrup, guar gum and cellulose gum. A cup of Haagen Dazs ice cream with no syrups or gums left out by WCPO melted into a puddle quickly.

All the ingredients in the ice cream sandwiches are A-OK under Food and Drug Administration guidelines, so we’ll just have to get used to ice cream that doesn’t melt, or buy something that does.

Why don’t ice cream sandwiches melt anymore? [WCPO News]

Regular readers of Consumerist likely know there’s a big difference between the “use-by” date and the “sell-by” date on food labels. But while most people take note of this information on highly perishable items like meat, eggs, and dairy, we often ignore those dry goods stashed in our pantries. And these unrefrigerated items are often allowed to sit around until we go to use them and realize, “Oh no… that went bad back when Bush — the first one — was president.”

Rather than wait for that discovery when you’re in the middle of a recipe, take a few minutes to check your shelves.

We’ve covered some of this ground in our recent Spoilage Wars series, but one never stops learning tips on how to properly store all the food we eat.

Without further ado, here’s how to not suck at cleaning out your pantry.

Bread crumbs

Unopened bread crumbs can last for two years in the fridge, or up to six months in a cool and dry place. Make sure to keep ‘em in an airtight container after opening.

Coffee beans

These will be the freshest if used in two weeks, but they won’t be “bad” after that. Keep them in a dark, cool place, or freeze the beans for up to a month.

Dry Pasta

Pasta can last for a year in an airtight container.

Flour

If you store all-purpose flour in an airtight container and in a cool and dry location, it should last for 10 to 15 months.

Whole wheat flour can last for two months if refrigerated and in your freezer for six months.

Honey

Honey can last longer than most other items if kept at room temperature. As it gets older, the honey may crystalize, but it’s not spoiled. Soak the honey bottle in warm water and the contents will look like liquid honey again.

As we noted in one of the Spoilage Wars stories, there’s a caveat to buying honey in large containers: If the whole jug o’ sweet stuff crystalizes, you’re going to have to fill up a stock pot’s worth of hot water to return the to honey to its liquid form.

Condiments

That depends on the condiment and whether or not it has been opened. This comprehensive list from StillTasty.com will give you info on just about everything you could want, but here are a few:

• Ketchup: Unopened, it should stay okay in your pantry for about a year. Once it’s opened, it’ll go six months in the fridge. The same figures go for BBQ Sauce, since most commercial sauces are heavily ketchup-based.

• Mayonnaise: Stilltasty says unopened mayo is good to go for about 3-4 months beyond the date on the package. Opened mayo will last 2-3 months past the label date in the fridge.

• Mustard: That unopened jar of mustard in your pantry can last about two years. An opened container of mustard could hold in the pantry for a month or two, but you’ll do better in the fridge, where it should still taste fine for about a year.

Maple syrup

This can last for a year in the fridge, and pretty much forever if you freeze it. The experts say syrup in glass bottles helps to prevent mold, so watch out for interesting science-experiment-type growths if you have the plastic type.

Nuts

It depends on the kind of nut and how you store it. They’ll last longer in the refrigerator or the freezer.

The following sites have even more information on food storage:
America’s Test Kitchen
EatByDate.com
Still Tasty
Good Housekeeping

Oils

Corn, canola and olive oil can stay in the pantry, sealed tight and away from heat, but more delicate and fancy oils — truffle oil, walnut oil, etc. — should be kept in the refrigerator to preserve the flavor. Depending on the oil, it can last for several years.

Peanut butter

This just needs to pass a simple smell test. If it’s unopened, you’re good to go doe six months, but it will start to degrade once it’s exposed to air or heat. Read the bottle to see if refrigeration is recommended.

Rice

White rice in an airtight container can last practically forever. Just don’t store it in a container where bugs can get it.

Brown rice doesn’t last as long because of oils that can get nasty over time. Expect a shelf life of six months, or a year if frozen.

Salsa

An unopened jar is good for a year — but really, who waits that long to eat salsa?

After you open the jar, you can refrigerate it for two weeks. And to avoid unwanted growths, spoon out your salsa rather into a bowl instead of dipping your chips — and fingers and god knows what else — into the jar.

Soda

Expiration dates on soda are something that never seemed to make sense, but beverages — adult and otherwise — can lose something over time.

Check here for a handy list.

Soy sauce

Keep it in a cool dark place, but once it’s opened, stick it in the fridge.

You can keep this for several years, but the color may darken and the taste may change after a year.

Spices

To test if your spices are still virile, use your nose. If the smell is dull or not at all vibrant, it’s time for a new bottle.

To prolong the life of dried spices, keep them at room temperature and away from the oven or other sources of heat. That means you shouldn’t store them in the cabinet above your stove or even in a spice rack next to your stove.

Sugar

Granulated sugar stays good pretty much forever if you keep it in an airtight container, but brown sugar is a different story.

It will harden when it dries out and is exposed to air for prolonged periods, so zip it up in a plastic bag and freeze it. When you defrost it, it will be soft again. Brown sugar is usually good for six months.

Vinegar

If you have an unopened container, it can last forever. The clock ticks down six months for opened packages.

Worchester sauce

Twelve years. Really, that’s what they say. Twelve years.

The flavor is actually supposed to get better with age. Keep it in a dark and cool place.

You can learn more about the shelf life of food here but keep in mind the authors of that site are less concerned with keeping your pantry in order and think more about preparing for a catastrophe like a zombie apocalypse or some other emergency that requires survival skills.

Have a topic you’d like to see covered in How To Not Suck? Or maybe you’re an expert who would like to share your insight with Consumerist readers? Send us a note at notsuck@consumerist.com.

You can read Karin Price Mueller’s stories for The Star-Ledger at NJ.com, follow her on Facebook, and on Twitter @kpmueller.

PREVIOUSLY ON HOW TO NOT SUCK:
How Long Should I Hold On To My Old Bills & Other Documents?
10 Tips For Getting Rid Of The Junk In Your Life
How To Not Suck At Picking A Father’s Day Gift
How To Not Suck At Booking A Vacation Rental
How To Not Suck At Making The Transition From School To The Real World
How To Not Suck At Spring Cleaning
16 Ways To Not Suck At Making Mother’s Day Special
10 Ways To Not Suck At Spending Your Tax Refund
15 Things Everyone Needs To Know About Disability Insurance
15 Things People Of All Ages Need To Know About Long-Term Care Insurance
15 Things You Need To Know About Life Insurance
15 Things Everyone (Including Renters) Should Know About Homeowner’s Insurance
15 Things You Need To Know About Buying Auto Insurance
How To Not Suck… At Going To Small Claims Court
How To Not Suck… At Buying In Bulk
How To Not Suck At Planning Your Wedding, Part 5: Spending Your Wedding Cash
How To Not Suck At Planning Your Wedding, Part 4: The Honeymoon
How To Not Suck At Planning Your Wedding, Part 3: The Costly Little Extras
How To Not Suck At Planning Your Wedding, Part 2: The Stuff People Pay Too Much For
How To Not Suck At Planning Your Wedding, Part 1: The Most Expensive Steps
How To Not Suck… At Teaching Your Kids About Money
How To Not Suck… At Valentine’s Day Gifts
How To Not Suck… At Merging Your Money When You Marry
How To Not Suck… At Borrowing For College
How To Not Suck… At Saving For College
How To Not Suck… At Pre-Paying For Your Funeral
How To Not Suck… At Making Financial New Year’s Resolutions
How To Not Suck… At Last-Minute Christmas Gifting
How To Not Suck… At Saving For The Holidays
How To Not Suck… At Charitable Giving
How To Not Suck… At Disputing Credit Report Errors
How To Not Suck… At Lowering Your Utility Bills
How To Not Suck… At Home Inspections
How To Not Suck… At Understanding Credit Card Rewards
How To Not Suck… At Getting Ready For Tax Season
How To Not Suck… At Picking A Retirement Plan
How To Not Suck… At Deciding When To DIY
How To Not Suck… At Getting Out Of Debt
How To Not Suck… At First Year College Budgets

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A sea turtle that was rehabilitated in Maryland after being found stunned by the cold in New Jersey has been returned to its natural habitat.

Coyote spotted in Buckhall Inside NoVA A Buckhall resident recently reported seeing a coyote in the area, prompting a safety reminder from the the Prince William Health District. All residents are reminded not to feed or approach wildlife, health officials said. Coyotes can be found ... and more »

Prince William County community calendar, July 24 to 30, 2014 Washington Post Manassas farmers market, 7:30 a.m.-1 p.m. Thursdays and 5-8 p.m. Tuesdays, Loy E. Harris Pavilion, 9201 Center St., and 7:30 a.m.-1 p.m. Saturdays, Parking Lot B, West Street (next to the train station visitors center). 703-361-6599 or www ... and more »

It was lunchtime when a tracked launcher with four SA-11 surface-to-air missiles rolled into town and parked on Karapetyan Street. Fifteen hundred miles (2,400 kilometers) to the west, passengers were checking in for Malaysia Airlines Flight 17.

Officials at some Denver homeless shelters say the legalization of marijuana has contributed to an increase in the number of younger people living on the city's streets.

FedEx Corp., the latest company accused in a federal probe involving illegal online pharmacies, says it will fight the charges that it knowingly shipped drugs to people who lack valid prescriptions.

Pot may be legal in some states -- but the neighbors don't have to like it.

A coyote was reportedly seen by a resident in the Buckhall area of Prince William County, according to a release from the Prince William Health District.

Since 2012, Youth for Tomorrow has housed about 200 children who entered the country illegally.

It's called the kissing bug disease and while it sounds cute, it can be deadly.

Whether pet owners buy their dog from a breeder or a shelter matters less than choosing the right pet for your family and lifestyle, according to Dr. Katy Nelson.