When filmmaker Rik Swartwelder decided he was going to make a movie that would resurrect the idea of chivalry in love, he knew he had some tough competition—namely the adaptation to the fastest selling paperback book of all time, Fifty Shades of Grey. But Swartwelder is up for the challenge, comparing his film to the David to Fifty Shades' Goliath.
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Read more of this story at Slashdot.
If you’re writing a novel, you should probably just stop. The perfect book has already been written, by the reclusive author Hunter Fox, “A Billionaire Dinosaur Forced Me Gay.” It should win the Nobel Prize.
At the very least, it usurps “The Horny Ghost of Osama Bin Laden” for the all-time best book title. But the book is more than just a great title. From its Amazon description:
“The year is 2014 and dinosaurs have gained control of the world economy due to exceptionally accurate stock predictions. After graduating from NYU with a business degree, John is hired to be the assistant for one of the largest trading firms on Wall Street. His boss, the CEO of the company is highly regarded as the best businessman of the century. Only difference is that he is a dinosaur!
This is a 3,500 word hardcore gay erotic novel. It includes- Rough sex, dubcon, oral, cream pies and more!”
It reads almost like a John Swartzwelder comedy novel, except with hardcore porn. Here’s a sample of the first page.
Hunter Fox is responsible for a whole series of “beasties-on-boys” romantic novels, exploring the depths of tentacle and android love. Here’s hoping these books catch on as the next “Fifty Shades of Grey.”
h/t Dangerous Minds
your worth is not dependent on how well you can contribute to capitalism. your worth is dependent on how much weight you can lift, you fucking nerd, you fucking beta
This week, the Adult Swim short film Too Many Cooks broke the internet, becoming a massively viral hit. It's a brilliant and truly original work of storytelling that has earned its creators well-deserved accolades. If you haven't seen Too Many Cooks, you should do so. It's definitely worth 11 minutes of your time.
Then you should watch this parody by Tough Pigs. There aren't too many Cooks, but too many Cookie Monsters. (There's no such thing as "too many cookies.")
-via That's Nerdalicious!
‘Poppy the Austere Hobbit Security Guard' fought bravely, dispatching (among others) a professional dinosaur, a Demented Pool Cue and a Ruinous Mother-In-Law before falling foul to a Deformed Bishop on level 6. Rest in piece Poppy, you faught well!
No this isn’t the start of a mental break down, it’s just a normal play through of the wonderfully bizarre ASCII-styled procedurally generated FPS Roguelike - Illuminascii.
Thanks to procedurally generated enemies, levels, weapons and characters, every play though of Illuminascii is as strange and surprising as the last. The ASCII visual style is fantastic, with nice little touches everywhere, such as kicking over trash cans and watching lots of ASCII characters (and the occasional cat) spill out. The enemies are a particular highlight, taking the form of large colorful letters with a randomly generated description above them - you’ll never forget the first time you round a corner and come face to face with a 6-foot tall glowing letter ‘J’ described as a ‘Moist Bearded Cat’.
To make it through each procedurally generated level of Illuminascii, you have to find 5 pieces of ‘evidence’ (hidden in drawers throughout the levels) then make it to the exit. As you progress, you fight enemies, collect loot, equip new weaponry and level up your character. In typical rouguelike fashion, you only get one life, but when you die you’re treated to a eulogy which is a nice little touch - allowing you to recap your ridiculous adventure.
We first covered Illuminascii way back in January, and it’s come a long way since then, with the latest build featuring better visuals and even more ASCII-randomness. The Greenlight campaign started in July, but unfortunately it’s still not Greenlit, so if you like the game please vote for it, at least ‘Poppy the Austere Hobbit Security Guard' won't of died in vain.
Three people—a man, his wife, and the man's mistress—went on trial in Brazil yesterday after they were arrested in 2012 for allegedly killing women and then baking them into pastries they would eat and sell to neighbors.
Mattalystgpoy
Photographer Klaus Pichler takes pictures of Australian Cosplayers in their homes against the backdrop of their everyday lives. He says that the unknown identities and mundane activities give this project a very mysterious vibe.
You can view more of his amazing projects HERE
The New England Patriots became the first NFL team to reach a million Twitter followers on Thursday, and they had a couple tricks up their Twitter sleeve to celebrate. It started off innocent enough:
Thank you #PatriotsNation for making @patriots the 1st @NFL team with 1 million Twitter followers! pic.twitter.com/JFVA2wTQ2i — New England Patriots (@Patriots) November 13, 2014
But before long the tweet that the Patriots’ million followers saw getting retweeted more than any other was this stinking shitstorm:
What in the living fuck? What in the living fuck is right. Apparently how this abomination transpired is that the Patriots, in anticipation of hitting 1 million followers, wrote a special code script so that any follower who retweeted the message would get a reply with their own personal handle lovingly embroidered on the back of a Patriots jersey.
What they vastly underestimated is internet trolls, whose ingenuity is truly unbounded when it comes to making you look like an asshole. According Daily Dot the offending Twitter handle was created just hours after the Patriots’ promotion began, and appears to have been created for the express purpose of baiting the team’s promotion into writing a horrible tweet that would get retweeted ad nauseam.
It worked, and the Patriots were forced to send an apology tweet. In the end they learned the hard lesson that any celebratory promotion launched in the name of good clean fun can be perverted, and probably will be.
We apologize for the regrettable tweet that went out from our account. Our filtering system failed & we will be more vigilant in the future.
— New England Patriots (@Patriots) November 14, 2014
MattalystHow interesting, I definitely peppered a couple folks with questions about the APA's policy after reading "Pay Any Price".
PETA was in town the other day, protesting the abuse of animals and handing out stickers. I gave one to my cat.
MattalystYeah so I would actually recommend NOT looking at the Wikipedia page for fisting at work.
What an incredibly bizarre subject for such a long piece.
Everything you need to know about the awesome that’s currently taking place amidst our solar system, along with a very detailed and visibly inviting infographic to view or download, courtesy of our spacecraft-loving friends at Nature.
It was supposed to be a forum where Twitter fans of the Dr. Oz Show could send in their most pressing questions for "America's doctor."
What is your biggest question for me? Reply with #OzsInbox and I'll answer my favorites on http://t.co/8kjmALRoAd.
— Dr. Mehmet Oz (@DrOz) November 11, 2014
But since Oz made his offer yesterday, the #OzsInbox hashtag has turned into a channel for rage and shame, where skeptics and disappointed viewers have been venting about Dr. Oz's psuedoscience trickery.
Here are some highlights:
#OzsInbox I just got my flu shot, when can I expect to develop autism?
— Ryen Smorczewski (@Smorz7IU) November 12, 2014
Can you go an entire show without saying the words "miracle," "toxin," and belly fat?" #OzsInbox
— Jennifer Gunter (@DrJenGunter) November 12, 2014
Can Twerking cure Pertussis? #OzsInbox
— Lipitor Charizard (@Spammyjazzhands) November 12, 2014
@DrOz Name specific toxins removed by a detox that is not removed by your liver/kidneys?What studies have you published on this?#OzsInbox
— Chris Scholtz (@ScholtzC) November 12, 2014
I accidentally dropped my sonic crystals in the dirt. Are they dishwasher safe? @droz #OzsInbox pic.twitter.com/3p0hDXQHFO
— Colby Vorland (@nutsci) November 12, 2014
You've told us to eat low-carb, low-fat, paleo, and vegan diets. I've been eating them all daily- why am I gaining so much weight? #OzsInbox
— Colby Vorland (@nutsci) November 12, 2014
@DrOz. Which disease kills more people? Ebola or Mercola? #OzsInbox
— Greg Hinson (@ackdoc) November 12, 2014
.@DrOz #OzsInbox Why have you not been censured or fired from @ColumbiaSurgery for conduct unbecoming a physician, scientist, and gentlemen?
— Sunil K Sahai MD (@DrSunilKSahai) November 12, 2014
@DrOz As a cardiothoracic surgeon should you dispense nutrition advice? It's like a neurologist giving out dermatology advice #OzsInbox
— mamakafrin (@haphazardhumor) November 12, 2014
.@DrOz "First do no harm". Does promoting quack cure-alls and diets, while trashing good medicine and technology do harm? #OzsInbox
— Kevin Folta (@kevinfolta) November 12, 2014
"@drflanders: To be hung in every doctor's office across the nation (pic) pic.twitter.com/5nnDtq8p2r" where can I get one? #OzsInbox
— Sunny Chan (@DrWaiSun) November 12, 2014
#OzsInbox I just read that my new detox regimen might be toxic. Can you recommend a detoxification to detoxify my toxins?
— Andrew Kniss (@WyoWeeds) November 12, 2014
Watch here to learn more about Dr. Oz's big weight-loss lies (and one truth).
