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04 Sep 13:36

Ask a Slave: The Web Series | 'Meet Lizzie Mae' (ep. 1)

by Mark Anthony Neal
Ask a Slave: The Web Series

Ask A Slave is a comedy web series directed by Jordan Black based on the actress' time working as a living history character at the popular historic site, George Washington's Mount Vernon. All questions and interactions are based on true events.


Real Questions. Real Comedy.
Learn more @ www.AskASlave.com

Director: Jordan Black
Writer: Azie Mira Dungey
Director of Photography: Ryan Moulton
Editor: Ryan Moulton
Sound: Johnny Shyrock
Animator: Jamie Noguchi
Production Manager: Pamela J Peters

Lizzie Mae: Azie Mira Dungey
Featuring: Meegan Kellerher, Ray Baker, Colleen Dodson Baker, Johnny Shryock, Pamela J. Peters, Michael Rachlis, and Rosey Blair
03 Sep 19:30

You Can Eat Sweeter Chocolate, If You Want To

by Nicole Cliffe

small-milk-chocolate-bunnyHow did it come to this?

There’s nothing wrong with dark chocolate, let’s just get that out of the way. I have frequently eaten and enjoyed dark chocolate. What I object to, in part, is the moving of goalposts on what constitutes dark chocolate. Ten years ago, if you purchased chocolate containing 60% cocoa mass, it came with warning labels and was invariably and offensively named after an African nation or river. ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO CONSUME OUR AWASH VALLEY BAR, etc. 60% was out there.

And, at 60%, chocolate is pretty good. It’s, whatever, sort of red wine-y and interesting and it’s not sickeningly sweet. I like stuff dipped in it. Swirl it with some peanut butter, everyone’s happy.

But, somewhere along the line, they broke out the 85%, and it’s bullshit. It’s like the trend towards taking all the parts of the animal we’ve been discarding for centuries because they come in contact with fecal matter and taste bad, then presenting them on menus like it’s a brilliant innovation. How long have we been perfecting what we do with cacao? And now we’re supposed to go back to just grinding it between our molars?

I honestly feel that many of us are eating our chocolate 5-10% darker than we would prefer, because we think we should. There’s no shame in enjoying milk chocolate! (Now, Hershey’s is disgusting and tastes like the inside of a robber baron’s wallet, I’m not trying to defend Hershey’s.) If you try to buy ethically-sourced chocolate (because the chocolate industry sometimes makes the diamond industry look like the craft tent at a womyn’s music festival), you will find that your options often start at 72%, which, again, is better than 85% (which is bullshit), but still not as delicious as it would have been if it spent a little time in a vat with a sweetening agent.

White_chocolate_with_rose_petalsAnd what of white chocolate? IT’S NOT REALLY CHOCOLATE, someone pipes up fatuously. IT DOESN’T CONTAIN COCOA SOLIDS. Well, who gives a shit? It’s divine. We have made-up names for lots of things! Sweetbreads! It’s a fucking calf’s pancreas, but that doesn’t roll as trippingly off the tongue. Maybe you wouldn’t want to eat an entire brick of it, but, hey, if you eat a whole brick of 85% chocolate you will poop yourself to death and not sleep for two days.

Take a feral human who’s been raised in the woods by animals and has no conception of “fancy,” blindfold him (I mean, don’t do this) and offer him a bite of a white chocolate bunny and an 85% bar with salted almonds and see what he wants more of.

Just see.

No, here’s the thing. Sugar’s TERRIBLE for you. But if you’re eating chocolate, just buy what tastes good to you, and ideally is not harvested by actual slaves. If you look within yourself and you genuinely enjoy super-dark chocolate, go on, follow your bliss, weirdo.

PARADOX: Have you ever had 90% chocolate? It’s kind of good. It’s like it circles back around and you’re so amazed that it exists and hasn’t plunged the Earth into the sun that you can roll it around in your mouth and taste eternity.

The post You Can Eat Sweeter Chocolate, If You Want To appeared first on The Toast.

30 Aug 13:06

Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson – Say Say Say (US 12″ Promo)

by DjPaulT
Jdanehey

WHOA. I have never seen the cover art for this single before. Whoa.

BURNING THE GROUND EXCLUSIVE 1983

A. Front

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHAEL JACKSON!

“Say Say Say” is a pop single written and performed by Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson. The track was produced by George Martin for McCartney’s fifth solo album, Pipes of Peace (1983). The song was recorded during production of McCartney’s 1982 Tug of War album, about a year before the release of “The Girl Is Mine”, the pair’s first duet from Jackson’s album Thriller (1982). After its release in October 1983, “Say Say Say” became Jackson’s seventh top-ten hit inside a year. It was a number one hit in the United States, Canada, Norway, Sweden, and several other countries, reached number two in the United Kingdom, and peaked within the top ten in Australia, Austria, New Zealand, The Netherlands, Switzerland, and over 20 other nations.

Certified platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America, the song was promoted with a music video directed by Bob Giraldi. The video, filmed in Santa Ynez Valley, California, features cameo appearances by Linda McCartney, La Toya Jackson and Harry Dean Stanton. The short film centers around two con artists called “Mac and Jack” (played by McCartney and Jackson), and is credited for the introduction of dialogue and storyline to music videos.

SIDE A:
Say Say Say (Special Version) 5:40
Performed By - Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson

SIDE B:
Say Say Say (Instrumental) 7:00
Performed By - Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson

Ode To A Koala Bear 3:45
Performed By - Paul McCartney

VINYL GRADE:
Vinyl: Near Mint
Sleeve: Near Mint (promo stamp)

CHART HISTORY:

Year Single Chart Position
1983 Say Say Say U.S. Billboard Hot 100 #1
1983 Say Say Say U.S. Billboard Adult Contemporary #3
1983 Say Say Say U.S. Billboard Hot Dance/Club Play #2
1983 Say Say Say U.S. Billboard Hot Black Singles #2
1983 Say Say Say U.S. Billboard Mainstream Rock Tracks #24

 

RELEASE INFORMATION:
Label: Columbia ‎– 44-04169
Format: Vinyl, 12″, 33 ⅓ RPM, Promo
Country: US
Released: Oct 1983
Genre: Electronic
Style: Synth-pop, Pop/Rock
Credits: Producer – George Martin
Remix – John “Jellybean” Benitez (tracks: A, B1)

NOTES:
Demonstration Not For sale
Michael Jackson appears courtesy of Epic Records.
Special versions from the Columbia LP:
“PIPES OF PEACE”

Find The 12″ On DISCOGS

B. Back

EQUIPMENT USED:
Turntable: Pro-Ject Debut III
Cartridge: Ortofon Super
Stylus: Ortofon OM Stylus 30
Pro-Ject Acryl-It platter
Pro-Ject Speed Box S
Bellari VP130 Tube Phono Preamp
Soundcard: ESI Juli@
VPI HW 16.5 Record Cleaning Machine
Brother MFC-6490CW Professional Series Scanner

SOFTWARE USED:
Adobe Audition 3.0 (Recording)
Adobe Photoshop CS5
ClickRepair
dBpoweramp
Playlist Creator

RESTORATION NOTES:
All vinyl rips are recorded @ 32bit/float
Downsampled to 24bit/96kHz and16bit /44kHz using iZotope RX Advanced 2
FLAC (Level Eight)
MP3 (320kbps)
Artwork scanned at 600dpi

PW: burningtheground

You can help show your support for this blog by making a donation using PayPal. Thank you for your help.

29 Aug 17:53

And OUR Flag Was Still There

by Matthew Rettenmund
Jdanehey

Very interesting to hear from the guy who designed the flag. It used to have pink!

Gay-pride-flag
Gilbert Baker, the gay Betsy Ross, talks about the creation of the gay pride flag, and also about his thoughts on its use as a protest against Russia's anti-gay policies...
27 Aug 12:44

Watch Oprah Winfrey and Tina Turner Out-Weird Each Other

by Rich Juzwiak

Tina Turner is ripening into an excellent eccentric old lady.

Read more...

21 Aug 20:16

http://www.bookslut.com/blog/archives/2013_08.php#020252

by Jessa Crispin

thewife.jpgImage: "Portrait of the Wife of Juan Agustin Cean Bermudez" by Francisco de Goya y Lucientes

I have been trying to think of novels about marriages that do not make me want to flee to a cloister immediately. I have a Tumblr to run for Spolia's wife issue, after all. I kept thinking of really bad ones, like that Maugham book where the husband decides he is going to kill his wife, or himself, or both. Or that other one, where the wife's life is dramatically improved after her husband's death.

And do not talk to me about the dreaded Jane Austen.

While I was in Trieste, researching Nora Barnacle's time there, the other Nora, Ephron, died. And I remember reading accolade after accolade, of people calling her a genius and a tremendous writer and hilarious and she just really gets women, doesn't she? I thought that maybe I had misremembered her films, not having seen them since the age in which I was shaving my head and wearing men's clothes. I was a wee more cynical then. And it was really fucking hot in Trieste in July, and so over the course of a couple days, I watched a little marathon of Nora Ephron films. (Jesus, no, not the one about the Angel, I was not trying to push myself into suicide.)

But no, it wasn't genius. The films were all these hideous ideas about gender and dating and monogamy and how the whole point of marriage on some level is what a relief it is to be able to stop being an interesting human being, and I feel like all of this is exactly what we need to cleanse our romantic culture of. I guess pointing this out is too obvious? And the days after her death are not appropriate timing to talk about the toxins she's been putting into our brains all these years? Because we don't necessarily know what we want. We have needs that remain elusive and abstract, and we look to outside cues to tell us how to satisfy them, what fits in those gaps. And so I don't know, when a man marries a witty, working, intelligent, beautiful woman, and then she turns into a baby-brained, slovenly, mother (a la Heartburn), maybe she had a hand in the breakup. Maybe transforming yourself into someone your husband can't recognize is its own betrayal.

So I wrote an essay for Spolia about Nora Barnacle and literary wives from the perspective of the mistress, which I have been more than once, and put it in the Wife issue. But first I wanted to clear it with a friend, my dearest Honeybee, who is my first reader. And usually she reads what I send her immediately and has notes to give. But this time, I didn't hear back. For days. And I remembered this particular bit, and the corresponding fact that Honeybee is a married woman:

I have shared the biographers’ disdain for the wife. I have condemned the lot as treacly domestic, as made dull through overdoses of pregnancy hormones and dish soap. I have dismissed them as cozy as a cat sweater, as limiting and weighty.

And I have watched friends transform themselves into wives, start shutting down sections of their existence for the sake of the husband. I have seen them swap out their desires for their husbands’ desires. I have seen them relinquish jobs, names, motherlands and prospective motherhood, because the desires of the wife were not the desires of the couple. Even the word “couple” brings to mind two people, sewn together with twine, unable to move in any direction without dragging along the other. I have seen the worst of wifedom and on that basis I have condemned the entire pursuit.

Finally I wrote and asked if I had offended. "Oh, I forgot to check my email!" She wasn't offended. We all know wives like that. Who get married and then give up on being a person. She is not one of them, but if you poll them, I think you will find they are all great fans of Nora Ephron's work.

21 Aug 12:53

Limahl – The NeverEnding Story (US 12″)

by DjPaulT
Jdanehey

Were you needing the club mix of "The Neverending Story"? Here it is.

BURNING THE GROUND EXCLUSIVE 1984

A. Front

Re-Rip Newly Remastered!

Originally I posted this one on December 22, 2010. But for those who may have missed it or if you are a new reader just discovering BTG. I decided to give this one a new rip with my newer Ortofon Super 30 stylus. This 12″ is also being posted in 24 bit  flac for the very first time!

“The NeverEnding Story” (titled “The Never Ending Story (L’histoire sans fin)” in the French version) is the title song from the English version of the 1984 film The NeverEnding Story. The English version was performed by Limahl and Beth Anderson; the French version was performed by Limahl and Ann Calvert. It was a success in many countries, reaching No. 1 in Norway and Sweden, No. 2 in Austria, Germany and Italy, No. 4 in the UK and No. 6 in the US Billboard Adult Contemporary chart.

The song was composed by Giorgio Moroder with lyrics by Keith Forsey, although it (and other electronic pop elements of the soundtrack) is not present in the German version of the film, which features Klaus Doldinger’s score exclusively.

Beth Anderson recorded her lyrics in America separately from Limahl’s. Anderson does not appear in the music video; frequent Limahl backup singer Mandy Newton lip syncs Anderson’s lyrics.

As a reference to the film and its title, the song has no distinctive beginning, nor an end. While many songs fade out, NeverEnding Story not only fades out, but also fades in, thus making it “never ending”.

SIDE A:
The NeverEnding Story (Club Mix)  6:07

SIDE B:
The NeverEnding Story (Instrumental Version) 5:25

VINYL GRADE:
Vinyl: Near Mint
Cover: Near Mint

CHART HISTORY:

Year Single Chart Position
1985 The NeverEnding Story U.S. Billboard Hot 100 17
1985 The NeverEnding Story U.S. Billboard Hot Adult Contemporary Tracks 6
1985 The NeverEnding Story U.S. Billboard Hot Dance/Club play 10
1985 The NeverEnding Story U.S. Billboard Hot Dance Music/Maxi-Singles Sales 23

 

RELEASE INFORMATION:
Label: EMI America - V-7854-1
Format: Vinyl, 12″
Country: US
Released: 1984
Genre: Electronic
Style: Synth-pop
Credits: Mixed By – Rusty Garner
Producer – Giorgio Moroder
Written-By – G. Moroder* , K. Forsey*

NOTES:
“An Endless Music Mix”
Recorded In England

From The Motion Picture,
“THE NEVER ENDING STORY”

Album version can be heard on:
“DON’T SUPPOSE….,”

Find The 12″ On DISCOGS

B. Back

EQUIPMENT USED:
Turntable: Pro-Ject Debut III
Cartridge: Ortofon Super
Stylus: Ortofon OM Stylus 30
Pro-Ject Acryl-It platter
Pro-Ject Speed Box S
Bellari VP130 Tube Phono Preamp
Soundcard: ESI Juli@
VPI HW 16.5 Record Cleaning Machine
Brother MFC-6490CW Professional Series Scanner

SOFTWARE USED:
Adobe Audition 3.0 (Recording)
Adobe Photoshop CS5
ClickRepair
dBpoweramp
Playlist Creator

RESTORATION NOTES:
All vinyl rips are recorded @ 32bit/float
Downsampled to 24bit/96kHz and16bit /44kHz using iZotope RX Advanced 2
FLAC (Level Eight)
MP3 (320kbps)
Artwork scanned at 600dpi

PW: burningtheground

You can help show your support for this blog by making a donation using PayPal. Thank you for your help.

20 Aug 18:46

Taylor Made

by Matthew Rettenmund
Jdanehey

Oh, Vronsky. *sigh*

AARON-TAYLOR-JOHNSON-3
AARON-TAYLOR-JOHNSON-1
AARON-TAYLOR-JOHNSON-2
AARON-TAYLOR-JOHNSON-4

Aaron Taylor-Johnson of Kick-Ass 2 struts his stuff in some fine suits in GQ (September 2013). Pinned down by the mag for a Q&A, he is asked about filming a threesome with Blake Lively and Taylor Kitsch:

"If you agree to do a sex scene, you have to be willing to not be awkward about it. C'mon! I don't see that person. I don't think of me being me"

15 Aug 12:46

Most. Tiresome. Trope. Ever.

by Ben Yagoda

This appeared in the paper the other day:

VW037-e1376419628894

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then, a few days later, I came across this Web posting:

Screen Shot 2013-08-06 at 11.02.29 AM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(And by the way, the New York Post’s effort here does meet the standards of a good tabloid headline, though “And the Banned Played On” would sound exactly the same as the title of the 1895  song, and thus would be even better.)

More examples could be garnered, but you get the point. The formulation “Best. Noun. Ever.” is in the air.

Where did it come from, and is there any chance it will go away? Most discussions of this expression (which fits the definition of a snowclone) note the seminal influence of the Simpsons character Comic Book Guy. The amazing Web site TvTropes notes:

In the eleventh season’s “Saddlesore Galactica” [February 6, 2000], Comic Book Guy criticizes the episode, which recycles old plots and character traits. … As the episode proceeds, he wears a “Worst Episode Ever” shirt. When the credits end at the Gracie Films production logo, he says, “Worst. Episode. Ever.” Appropriately enough, the twelfth-season episode “Worst Episode Ever” centers around Bart and Milhouse taking over Comic Book Guy’s store after he suffers a cardiac episode (a heart attack). Which CBG refers to as, of course, “Worst episode ever.”

“Saddlesore Gallactica” seems to have had a huge impact on the screenwriter Steven Zaillian. At least according to this possibly sketchy site, in a “production draft” for the film Hannibal, dated February 9, 2000—just three days after the episode aired—Zaillian put the phrase in the mouth of his own comic-book-store proprietor. He also took the critical step of inserting a period after each word, presumably to simulate The Simpsons’s Comic Book Guy’s delivery.

CUSTOMER
	December you mean -

		PROPRIETOR
	No, not December.  November.  Volume
	Four, Number Four.  Worst.  Issue.  Ever.

Backing up a bit, there are a few separate things going on with “Superlative. Noun. Ever.”, which I will  henceforth abbreviate as S.N.E. The first is the pause for emphasis between words. This was surely a venerable device in oratory (in existence, at any rate, long before being immortalized by William Shatner’s Captain Kirk). A key development was mimicking such a cadence by means of punctuation. Andrew Smith, a Language Log commenter, unearthed an 1851 passage from The Southern Literary Messenger.

We once saw a beautiful hand writing so distinct that it could be read as easily as print which possessed the remarkable peculiarity of having a full stop after every word. We have often thought there was some analogy between it and Mr Randolph’s style of speaking as it presented itself to our observation in the Convention. He was not contented with making you understand the general meaning of a sentence, he made you remark every word that composed it with as much clearness as though he meant to speak that one word and no other.

S.N.E. also employs a particular meaning of the word ever. The relevant definition in the OED is:  ”Qualifying a superlative (usu. an adjective) = ever known, experienced, etc.; ‘on record’. orig. U.S.” The first citation, from O.Henry’s “The Coming-Out of Maggie” (1906), suggests the slightly juvenile, or at least youthful, feel of the usage: “Anna and Maggie worked side by side in the factory, and were the greatest chums ever.” Barbara Robinson used it in the title of her 1971 book The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, which was so successful that the theatrical version is still being performed by children’s troupes around the country. (My daughter Elizabeth Yagoda was in one not that many years ago.) [Update: A commenter points out that children's author Richard Scarry came before Robinson, with Best Nursery Rhymes Ever, in 1964, and several other titles in the same form.]

When did worst enter the picture? Possibly via the Alt.tv.simpsons usenet group, which is dedicated to discussing the show, and where “worst episode ever” (no periods) became a go-to catch phrase starting no later than 1993 (which means that the show’s writers fiendishly used Comic Book Guy to mock the show’s fans). In 1994, a Chicago Sun-Times writer gave us, ”Meet Ed Wood. But don’t knock him. Even if he is known as the worst film director. Ever.”

In 2004, VH1′s popular comedy show Best Week Ever cemented best-noun-ever in the pop-culture consciousness. The first use I’ve been able to find of the full S.N.E., periods included, is from Men’s Health later that some year: ”Biggest. Idiot. Ever.”

Then it was out there. In 2005, Entertainment Weekly had the headline, ”Strangest. Amazing Race. Team. Ever.” Then in 2006, a New York Times “Modern Love” essay by Francine Maroukian had this:

I proclaimed, “This is the best summer ever,” and he agreed. It’s silly, but sometimes coming out of a late-night movie, we would smile at each other and chant, “Best. Summer. Ever.”

That phrase was the metaphor for what was really happening between us.

A Chicago Sun-Times review the following year was already treating the expression as a borderline cliché: “It may not be the Best. CD. Ever. But it’s pretty damn good nonetheless.”

OK, that was six years ago. By now all rhetorical juice has been drained from this formulation’s self-conscious juvenile hyperbole. So Give. It. A. Rest.

 

13 Aug 18:58

Hedging His Bets by Mina Carter and Celia Kyle

Jdanehey

Further proof that Romance is the queen of having niche subgenres. Wow.

by Redheadedgirl

Grade: D-
Title: Hedging His Bets
Author: Kyle and Mina Carter
Publication Info: Summerhouse Publishing April 2013
ISBN: 9781301234332
Genre: Paranormal

Book Hedging His Bets - a hedgehog totally is on the cover I would like you to know that I hate each and every one of you.  And I really hate who ever it was that put this book in my path, because I KNOW it was RHG bait and you KNOW I can’t resist that so...

Oh my god, the pain.

He’s a fucking WERE HEDGEHOG.  LIKE.  AS IN.  A SMALL SOMEWHAT PRICKLY THING THAT WUFFLES AROUND IN HEDGES.

ONLY A WERE.

I can’t even.

As far as plots go....there really isn’t one.  Honey (yes, really) owns a bar, and has been in an antagonistic relationship with Blake, who is seriously over compensating for the fact that he’s a WERE-HEDGEHOG by being a bad-ass biker dude who wears leather and beats up any guy that looks at Honey at all.  He wants her, she secretly wants him (and fantasizing about him while masturbating, which he finds out because he followed her home one night and snuck into her house).

She also adopts hedgehogs.

Of course she does.

Anyway, Honey has an employee in the bar, Katie,  who is also a female were-hedgehog (and Honey knows that she is, so we are spared the whole “What do you mean there are were-things and YOU TURN INTO A FUCKING HEDGEHOG” conversation).   Blake convinces Katie to beat the shit out him in were-form so that Honey will take him in and take care of him so he can get into her house that way....

He doesn’t factor in that she’d take him to the vet, which results in getting his temperature taken rectally (which he totally deserved) and then she takes him home and arranges a date with the vet.  The vet then says to a buddy of his, while Blake is listening, that he’s going out with a fat chick who is obviously desperate for sex and will totally put out.  Blake pees on the vet and chews on his fingers, and the vet throws him against a wall.  (This kiboshes the date quite neatly.)  

Honey lets Blake sleep on her bed (as a hedgehog still).  But he turns back human in the middle of the night and they start making out.... until she wakes up and it’s all awkward.  She throws him out, and he promptly gets into a motorcycle accident and Honey... brings him back into her house to nurse him back to health.  But they still want to bang eachother, but neither of them know the other wants also wants the banging and Honey is all sneaking into the shower to jerk off....

And then they finally end up in bed and it’s perfect because you KNOW were-hedgehogs are able to BRING IT, and that’s basically the end of the book.

Here’s the thing: I think that the book knows how ridiculous it is.  It has a “I am not taking this seriously, so you shouldn’t, either” tone that yes, alpha were-hedgehogs are a silly concept.  


[Blake] grumbled low in his throat as she turned the car off and climbed out, being careful not to jostle him.  On a normal day, he’d gripe about that; just because he was a hedgie didn’t mean he was that delicate.  But after the experience with the vet tech from hell... Just let the bastard try and euthanize a werehedgehog. Blake would show him exactly what hell was.

That is the correct tone to take with this premise.  I was deeply concerned that this book thought it was the shit, and once I decided that it, like Hansel and Gretel: Witchhunters (IN 3D) knew what it was and made no apologies for it, my reading experience was improved.

But the thing about writing a book with a knowingly ridiculous premise is that you have to be a good writer to pull it off (Hansel and Gretel: Witchhunters (IN 3D!) was awesome at being the precise type of movie it was).  And they aren’t.  I did a dramatic reading for Alina, one of my podcast co-hosts, and she didn’t even make it through two paragraphs before she made me stop.  The writing is just awkward and clunky. 

Blake with his tight leathers that outlined everything he had to offer, from a large package to lots of long, lean muscle.  He even had the cliche bad boy tattoos on his biceps.  Tattoos she’d like to lick all over... when she wasn’t pissed at him starting fights, that is....

...All right, truth be told, she wouldn’t mind a roll in the hay if she could be sure it was no strings attatched.  Except she had a feeling that Blake wanted a little more than a straight-forward friendly fuck.  He was one of those, she internally shuddered, long-term kind of guys despite his outward short-term attitude.

It’s never clear why Honey has this problem with Blake.  She wants him, but she’s sure he doesn’t want her, except that she knows he does, but she only wants him for a FWB situation, except maybe not, and she thinks he goes for skinny blondes anyway, and not curvy chicks like her, so he's not really interested... none of this makes any sense.   You need to have consistency in character, even when the book is silly.  ESPECIALLY when the book is silly, or it can’t sustain itself.  

While it might have been fun to see Honey come to terms with the existence of were-hedgehogs, I can appreciate the decision to make it clear that she already knows about them, and has come to terms with that paradigm shift.  Now she only has to deal with the fact that Blake is one (although it wasn't clear to me if he knew that she knew that shifters are a thing.)  (Look, it's a very knowledgable cast, okay.)  

While I, as a woman who is not small, liked seeing a heroine who is pointedly not skinny, Honey's constant obsession with the size of her butt or how guys only go for skinny chicks was tiresome.  Yeah, okay, it's true a lot of us do that some of the time, but that doesn't mean I want to read about it.  

I do feel like the authors understand and love hedgehogs, which added a level of sincerity.  (I admit that my experiences with hedgehogs are holding one at a zoo one time and watching youtube videos of hedgies taking baths, which are amazing and adorable and worth every second.)  

 

 

On the whole, though, this book is utterly ridiculous and knows it, but not well-written enough to hold that up. If it had been trying to take itself seriously, we might be in the coveted F+ territory, but alas, we are not.  If it had been well-written enough to take the ridonkadonk to new levels of ridonk, I'd be all over it!  Mostly, I'm sad at missed opportunities.   As I wrote this review, I got more and more sad. 


This book is available from Goodreads | Amazon | BN | Kobo | iBooks | All Romance eBooks.

Categories: Reviews, Reviews by Author, Authors, L-P, Reviews by Grade, Grade D


12 Aug 12:57

Aretha, August 1968

by H.M.S.

45 years ago, Aretha Franklin was at the height of her success that had begun with her first Atlantic releases in 1967. And she wasn't alone in this because her sisters also shared the public attention.


From Billboard, August 10, 1968, p. 45

The August 8th, 1968, issue of DownBeat featured a lengthy piece on Lady Soul as well as an interview which to this day have remained two of the more interesting media items of the epoch regarding the career of Aretha Franklin. You can download the scan below.
DownBeat Magazine, August 8th, 1968

Download the PDF here.


12 Aug 12:53

Stunning Illustrations for Irish Myths and Legends

by Maria Popova

“I have wished to become a child again that I might find this book.”

Irish folklorist and dramatist Lady Augusta Gregory penned some of the most memorable and timeless retellings of tales from Irish mythology. Recently, the Folio Society — makers of such exquisitely crafted books as The Alice B. Toklas Cookbook illustrated by Natacha Ledwidge– resurrected Lady Gregory’s tales in a lavish slip-case edition of Irish Myths and Legends (public library) featuring stunning art by Brooklyn-based illustrator and cartoonist Jillian Tamaki.

In the preface, W. B. Yeats, with whom Lady Gregory’s co-founded the Irish Literary Theatre and the Abbey Theatre, writes of the stories’ mesmerism:

One must not expect in these stories the epic lineaments, the many incidents, woven into one great event of, let us say, the story of the War for the Brown Bull of Cuailgne, or that of the last gathering at Muirthemne… The men who imagined the Fianna had the imagination of children, and as soon as they had invented one wonder, heaped another on top of it. Children — or, at any rate, it is so I remember my own childhood — do not understand large design, and they delight in little shut-in places where they can play at houses more than in great expanses where a country-side takes, as it were, the impression of a thought. The wild creatures and the green things are more to them than to us, for they creep towards our light by little holes and crevices. When they imagine a country for themselves, it is always a country where one can wander without aim, and where one can never know from one place what another will be like, or know from the one day’s adventure what may meet one with to-morrow’s sun. I have wished to become a child again that I might find this book, that not only tells one of such a country, but is fuller than any other book that tells of heroic life, of the childhood that is in all folklore, dearer to me than all the books of the western world.

Tamaki’s drawings — reminiscent of Kay Nielsen’s Scandinavian fairy tale illustrations from the early 1900s and the late Yan Nascimbene’s art for Italo Calvino’s short stories — envelop these age-old tales in a new layer of enchantment:

Complement Irish Myths and Legends, which is exquisite in its entirety, with Alice and Martin Provensen’s stunning vintage illustrations for 12 classic fairy tales and Pixar’s Ancient Book of Myth and War. You can see more of Tamaki’s breathtaking work on her site.

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05 Aug 13:05

Sunday Video: Public Speaking with Kathleen Hanna

by Lena Singer

Kathleen Hanna is the lead singer of the Julie Ruin and has been in bands such as Bikini Kill and Le Tigre. She also gives lectures at colleges and other places on topics such as feminism, art, activism, and punk. It’s given her a TON of practice at being in front of crowds of complete strangers, and in this video she has some personally tested public-speaking tips—plus words of (life) encouragement, including these: “This could suck. But it doesn’t really have to do with you.”

05 Aug 12:58

Olivia Cruises: Raven-Symoné Comes Out

by Matthew Rettenmund

Raven_symone_umvd01
Raven-Symoné, the star of Disney Channel's That's So Raven and "Olivia" from The Cosby Show, has basically come out as gay in the form of a tweet celebrating the fact that the government has made it so she "can finally get married."

I've met and worked with Raven many times, back when I edited Popstar! Magazine. She was a character! Very warm in person, and sometimes complicated to interview. I think that's because she wasn't into lying, which was necessary when nosy editors were asking dating questions.

Her lesbianism will come as a shock to many, even though there have been hints. Back in the day, she roomed with Lindsay Lohan, except I think Lohan never actually moved in as expected. And as recently as May, rumors prompted her to tweet, "I'm living my PERSONAL life the way I'm happiest."

I'm proud of Raven for coming out. She's a talented comedian who probably still has a lot of dreams and goals still on her agenda. If nothing else, give this girl—who's got the gift of gab—a talk show. That seems to be in the gift bag for lesbians in Hollywood.

29 Jul 13:10

MEDIEVAL PET NAMES.

by languagehat
Jdanehey

I love this.

Medievalists.net has a nice post on what people in the Middle Ages called their pets:

In England we find dogs that were named Sturdy, Whitefoot, Hardy, Jakke, Bo and Terri. Anne Boleyn, one of the wives of King Henry VIII, had a dog named Purkoy, who got its name from the French ‘pourquoi’ because it was very inquisitive.

Geoffrey Chaucer’s The Nun’s Priest Tale has a line where they name three dogs: Colle, Talbot and Gerland. Meanwhile, in the early fifteenth-century, Edward, Duke of York, wrote The Master of Game, which explains how dogs are to be used in hunting and taken care of. He also included a list of 1100 names that he thought would be appropriate for hunting dogs. They include Troy, Nosewise, Amiable, Nameles, Clenche, Bragge, Ringwood and Holdfast. ...

In medieval England domestic cats were known as Gyb – the short form of of Gilbert – and that name was also popular for individual pet cats. ... Other names for cats included Mite, who prowled around Beaulieu Abbey in the 13th century, and Belaud, a grey cat belonging to Joachim du Bellay in the 16th century. Isabella d’Este also owned a cat named Martino. Old Irish legal texts refer to several individual cats and names them: Meone (little meow); Cruibne (little paws); Breone (little flame, perhaps an orange cat), and Glas nenta (nettle grey). An Irish poem from the ninth century describes how a monk owned a cat named Pangur Bán, which meant ‘fuller white’. The poem begins:

I and Pangur Bán, my cat
‘Tis a like task we are at;
Hunting mice is his delight
Hunting words I sit all night.

"Pangur Bán" is everybody's favorite Old Irish poem; you can see the original text with translation en face here, and hear it read (in Modern Irish pronunciation) here. But I object strongly to the alleged translation "fuller white"; as Hermocrates says here, "Pangur isn't an Irish word. It's actually the cat's name and could be of Welsh origin (pannwr)." Welsh pannwr means 'fuller,' but 1) there's no way of knowing if that's actually the source of the Irish name, and 2) even if it is (etymologically), there's no way of knowing if the cat's owner (the poet) knew that fact. The only honest way to translate the phrase is White Pangur. (Thanks, Rick!)
29 Jul 12:50

How We Got “Please” and “Thank You”

by Maria Popova

Why the line between politeness and bossiness is a linguistic mirage.

“A good thing to think about is what kind of face to make when you say please,” Ruth Krauss wrote in her magnificent final collaboration with Maurice Sendak. “That coat will be the last gift [your mother] gave you. You will regret the small thing you didn’t say for the rest of your life. Say thank you,” Cheryl Strayed counseled in her endlessly soul-stirring Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar. But how did these commonest of courtesies, “please” and “thank you,” actually originate? That’s precisely what anthropologist and activist David Graeber explores in one of the most absorbing semi-asides in his altogether illuminating Debt: The First 5,000 Years (public library):

Debt … is just an exchange that has not been brought to completion.

It follows that debt is strictly a creature of reciprocity and has little to do with other sorts of morality. . . . But isn”t that just the same old story, starting with the assumption that all human interactions must be, by definitions, forms of exchange, and then performing whatever mental somersaults are required to prove it?

No. All human interactions are not forms of exchange. Only some are. Exchange encourages a particular way of conceiving human relations. This is because exchange implies equality, but it also implies separation.

Graeber goes on to offer a counterexample via the history of two of our most common cultural habits of civility:

Consider the custom, in American society, of constantly saying “please” and “thank you.” To do so is often treated as basic morality: we are constantly chiding children for forgetting to do it, just as the moral guardians of our society — teachers and ministers, for instance — do to everybody else. We often assume that the habit is universal, but … it is not. Like so many of our everyday courtesies, it is a kind of democratization of what was once a habit of feudal deference: the insistence on treating absolutely everyone the way that one used only to have to treat a lord or similar hierarchical superior.

But not all such courtesies are meaningless echoes of bygone hierarchical structures:

Imagine we are on a crowded bus, looking for a seat. A fellow passenger moves her bag aside to clear one; we smile, or nod, or make some other little gesture of acknowledgment. Or perhaps we actually say “Thank you.” Such a gesture is simply a recognition of common humanity, we are acknowledging that the woman who had been blocking the seat is not a mere physical obstacle but a human being, and that we feel genuine gratitude toward someone we will likely never see again.

'Please' by Debbie Millman (1993)

Most fascinating of all, however, is the actual etymology of the two expressions:

The English “please” is short for “if you please,” “if it pleases you to do this” — it is the same in most European languages (French si il vous plait, Spanish por favor). Its literal meaning is “you are under no obligation to do this.” “Hand me the salt. Not that I am saying that you have to!” This is not true; there is a social obligation, and it would be almost impossible not to comply. But etiquette largely consists of the exchange of polite fictions (to use less polite language, lies). When you ask someone to pass the salt, you are also giving them an order; by attaching the word “please,” you are saying that it is not an order. But, in fact, it is.

In English, “thank you” derives from “think,” it originally meant, “I will remember what you did for me” — which is usually not true either — but in other languages (the Portuguese obrigado is a good example) the standard term follows the form of the English “much obliged” — it actually does means “I am in your debt.” The French merci is even more graphic: it derives from “mercy,” as in begging for mercy; by saying it you are symbolically placing yourself in your benefactor”s power — since a debtor is, after all, a criminal. Saying “you’re welcome,” or “it’s nothing” (French de rien, Spanish de nada) — the latter has at least the advantage of often being literally true — is a way of reassuring the one to whom one has passed the salt that you are not actually inscribing a debit in your imaginary moral account book. So is saying “my pleasure” — you are saying, “No, actually, it’s a credit, not a debit — you did me a favor because in asking me to pass the salt, you gave me the opportunity to do something I found rewarding in itself!” …

Noting that “tacit calculus of debt” is “not the quintessence of morality but the quintessence of middle-class morality,” Graeber points out that the history of these exchanges, whether meaningless or meaningful, is actually a surprisingly recent development:

The habit of always saying “please” and “thank you” first began to take hold during the commercial revolution of the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries — among those very middle classes who were largely responsible for it. It is the language of bureaus, shops, and offices, and over the course of the last five hundred years it has spread across the world along with them. It is also merely one token of a much larger philosophy, a set of assumptions of what humans are and what they owe one another, that have by now become so deeply ingrained that we cannot see them.

Complement with Lord Chesterfield on the art of pleasing and the art of finding happiness in everyday gratitude.

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Brain Pickings takes 450+ hours a month to curate and edit across the different platforms, and remains banner-free. If it brings you any joy and inspiration, please consider a modest donation – it lets me know I'm doing something right. Holstee

29 Jul 12:45

MADONNA's Dirty Thirties: Madonna's Debut Album Turns 30

by Matthew Rettenmund

Madonna-BoyCulture-1983-Corman1983 image by Richard Corman from Entertainment Weekly (August 2, 2013) overlaid with never-before-seen original contact sheet.

Other outlets ran their tributes to the album Madonna, which turns 30 years old today, earlier in the week. Mine is running on a weekend because even if most blogs shutter from late Friday to early Monday, this is the actual anniversary...Madonna-worship never sleeps.

Madonna-MaripolMadonna by her confidante/stylist Maripol.

I wish I could say I bought Madonna the day it was released, but I didn't. I had been turned on by Madonna's "Holiday" the moment I heard it, on a car radio while driving from a Dungeons & Dragons session (my teen years were like a combo of Square Pegs and The Weather Girls), and had loved each of her successively more successful singles ("Borderline," "Lucky Star"), but it wasn't until Like a Virgin came out that I realized I should go back and buy that first record. I rank it among my very best decisions, right up there with buying my tiny apartment in Chelsea for $95,000 (that's practically my yearly maintenance now!) in the '90s, launching a blog and deciding it would be a good idea to write an encyclopedia devoted to all things Madonna.

1983-coverI own the chain around her neck and some of the other jewelry from this shoot, which is...insane.

Madonna is one of the best albums ever made—get over it.

Madonna-Edo-BertoglioMadonna's debut was to be called Lucky Star and was shot by Edo Bertoglio, but it was rejected and reshot.

Even Rolling Stone, which should have scoffed at a release by a new disco dolly years after disco had become passé, gave it 3.5 stars, a rating I'm betting it would revise up if it could.

Madonna-Gary-HeeryOne of my first Madonna sketches. I got way better than this, I can assure you!

From the shimmering opening of "Lucky Star," like the maddening tickle of good aural sex, straight through the effortlessly anthemic "Everybody," the album gets nothing wrong—nothing. That's not something that can be said for almost any other album, let alone any other Madonna album. Its only non-singles, "I Know It," "Think of Me" and "Everybody"'s B-side  "Physical Attraction" are all as solid as the indelible singles that litter the record's 40 or so minutes.

The Madonna album's five singles, as performed in early track dates/TV gigs.

If Madonna were to add "I Know It" to her next world tour, is there any doubt the majority of the fans there would be able to sing it back to her should she thrust the mic in their direction?

Madonna-1983-ebay-2Contact sheet from Gary Heery's cover shoot.

We owe "Madonna" and Madonna to lots of people aside from Madonna, including Mark Kamins and Liz Rosenberg and Michael Rosenblatt and Reggie Lucas and Jellybean Benitez and Maripol and Gary Heery and, of course, Seymour Stein. Stein, who signed Madonna to Sire, remembers hearing her work and wanting her...bad!:

Madonna
The rest really is history—pop and the other kind. Madonna has absorbed and reflected our culture like no other artist. She isn't always wholly original, but is nonetheless a true original. Her point of view is hers and is unique and has withstood many a comer and always will.

Tumblr_mqh85mKKmG1qj28qwo4_r2_500

Thirty years later, Madonna fans can relax: Madonna is the pop queen of all she surveys. And a huge part of the reason, so often overlooked, is contained within her debut album Madonna: the music. Music makes the people come together, an older and wiser Madonna once schooled us, and Madonna makes—and has always made, since the very beginning—some of the best of it.

 

Madonna-first-promo-posterMadonna's first promo poster, for Madonna, shot by Steven Meisel.

Follow Boy Culture on Facebook, follow me personally on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, check out my YouTube videos and—if you like menz—have a peek at my Instagram.

21 Jul 21:37

http://www.bookslut.com/blog/archives/2013_07.php#020195

by Jessa Crispin

cecily brown high society.jpgImage: Cecily Brown, "High Society"

The last time I was in Budapest, it was because Dubravka Ugresic was attending a conference at the Central European University and she said I should come down. And if I have learned anything in this life, it is that 1) you always do what Dubravka Ugresic tells you to do, and 2) you take every travel invitation you possibly can, no matter how off-handedly it is presented to you.

I sat in on the keynote speech she gave, where she called for a new kind of literary genre, the stories of the wayward woman. The border-crossing woman. The woman adrift and the woman abroad. She echoed what I had recently read by Marina Warner, "we must develop a richer vocabulary for female activity than we use at present, with our restrictions of wife, mother, mistress, muse." And it also echoed what I had read by Vanessa Veselka, "The Lack of Female Road Narratives and Why It Matters."

And I sat there in the back, having been living out of a carry-on sized suitcase, wearing the same four outfits over and over and over and over again for the past year or so, and I started collating reading lists in my head. For this new wayward woman library I wanted to start. It's not that the books don't exist. They are not bursting in number, it's just that they are outshone by the wife/mother/muse stories. They are scattered, not neatly organized onto one shelf. In our bookstores, everything is tightly categorized and labeled. There is no "Etc" bookshelf.

Baba Yaga Laid an Egg by Dubravka Ugresic
Owl of Minerva by Mary Midgley
The Valleys of Assassins by Freya Stark

Although honestly, it's not just women who need this shelf. We need new male narratives, too. Transgressors. The male rebel tradition might be older, but it is just as restricted, I think. There are all of these boxes one must check to fit into that category. There must be, there are, other options out there.

King Kong Theory by Virginie Despentes
Death in Persia by Annemarie Schwarzenbach
I Await the Devil's Coming by Mary MacLane

Two conversations in the past week: When I explain or update a woman on what I am doing, that I have been on the road for a year, and sometimes I go months without having a face-to-face conversation with family or friends, that I spend most of my time in a language I don't read or write, that I can now mark the percentage of my life I spend in line at passport control, they react with the same thing: I can't imagine doing that. I would feel so lost.

I want to say (I sometimes say): Yes. And sometimes that lost feeling is wonderful. But yes. You also have to get used to a lot of crying.

Another conversation in the past week: "I didn't know I could do X, until I read this book. I didn't know it was allowed." Hence the need for the library.

The Cruel Way by Ella Maillart
The Strange Necessity by Margaret Anderson
Notes on Thought and Vision by HD

Sometimes I miss stupid things like my clothing hanging in my closet so much I can't breathe. But mostly I would not be doing anything else.

21 Jul 21:26

Tori's Sunken Treasure Chest

by Matthew Rettenmund
Tori-Spelling-breasts-plastic-surgery
I've long been fascinated with Tori Spelling's concave cleavage (Loni Anderson has or had it, too). Now, as National Enquirer (July 29, 2013) points out, she seems to have had it corrected. It's like mourning the death of a family member around my apartment.
19 Jul 16:07

What Reader Species Are You?

by Sadie Stein

I had, I admit, become a jaded infographic skeptic. No more! I said to myself. And then, one day, in the midst of a heat wave, you run across an infographic so intriguing, so well laid-out, so Linnaean, that you think: Yes. I am a human being and man is the only creature who refuses to be what he is, etc.

Reader-Species-Infographic1

(Click to view at original large size.)

Infographic by Laura E. Kelly.

 

19 Jul 15:39

The 'Clueless' Soundtrack Is 18, And My Friend Wrote This Great Retrospective On It

by D'luv
My pal Alex wrote an amazing look back at the Clueless soundtrack, which came out 18 years ago today. (Old enough to be a high school senior!) He even interviewed Jill Sobule ("Supermodel") and music supervisor Karyn Rachtman, who also did Reality Bites, Pulp Fiction, Romeo + Juliet, Boogie Nights, etc.

Check it out!
19 Jul 12:46

The Golden Age of Soviet Children’s Art

by Justin Alvarez

Inside the Rainbow: Russian Children’s Literature 1920–35: Beautiful Books, Terrible Times is a stunning compendium of illustrations from the twenties and thirties. As Philip Pullman writes in his introduction,

In the dark and dangerous world of revolutionary Petrograd, a group of Russian poets and artists, among the greatest of the century, came together to create a new kind of book for children about to enter a Brave New World.  These artists and writers dreamed of endless possibilities in a new world where children and grown-ups alike would be free from the bitterness of ignorance. For a time, when children’s publications still escaped the scourge of state censorship, their books became a last haven for learning, poetic irony, burlesque and laughter.

Inside-the-Rainbow-1Inside-the-Rainbow-1
Inside-the-Rainbow-2Inside-the-Rainbow-2
Inside-the-Rainbow-4Inside-the-Rainbow-4
Inside-the-Rainbow-5Inside-the-Rainbow-5
Inside-the-Rainbow-6Inside-the-Rainbow-6
Inside-the-Rainbow-8Inside-the-Rainbow-8
Inside-the-Rainbow-9Inside-the-Rainbow-9
Inside-the-Rainbow-10Inside-the-Rainbow-10
Inside-the-Rainbow-11Inside-the-Rainbow-11
Inside-the-Rainbow-12Inside-the-Rainbow-12
Inside-the-Rainbow-13Inside-the-Rainbow-13
Inside-the-Rainbow-14Inside-the-Rainbow-14

 

18 Jul 21:35

Screamin’ Jay Hawkins

by Brian Berger
Jdanehey

my hero

Screamin'+Jay+Hawkins+-+At+Home+With+-+CD+ALBUM-368135

Few entertainers achieved so much, so mysteriously as Jalacy J. “SCREAMIN’ JAY” HAWKINS (1929–2000). Born in Cleveland and raised by adoptive Blackfoot Indian parents, Hawkins attended the Ohio Conservatory of Music before joining the Army as teenager. By 1950, Hawkins was a professional-level pianist, saxophonist and vocalist and when an effusive, whisky-lubricated woman in a Nitro, West Virginia nightclub exhorted Hawkins to “scream, baby, scream,” a future star was born. A January 1953 recording with Tiny Grimes and his Rocking Highlanders — jazzbos getting raucous in Scottish kilts! — wasn’t his time, however, as Atlantic Records rejected the Hawkins-fronted “Screaming Blues.” More understanding was Hy Siegel’s New York-based Timely label, which releasing two Hawkins singles in 1954, including the boozy “Baptize Me In Wine” which Billboard amusingly adduced a “sacred” release. Three singles for Mercury/Wing followed, including the houdou-inspired “(She Put The) Wammee (On Me)” and in late 1955, Hawkins signed with Herb Slotkin’s Philadelphia-based Grand label. Though only one single resulted, Slotkin somehow became the co-writer of the A-side of Hawkins next release, recorded on September 12, 1956 and pressed onto shellac as Okeh 7072: “I Put A Spell On You” backed with “Little Demon.” Though scandal would soon find Hawkins, in November, Billboard had only optimism: “Whenever this disk has been delivered, it has sparked great interest. Its wild sounds have set off waves of enthusiasm that are getting wider and wider.”

BAPTIZE ME IN WINE

(SHE PUT THE) WHAMEE (ON ME)

I PUT A SPELL ON YOU

LITTLE DEMON

***

On his or her birthday, HiLobrow irregularly pays tribute to one of our high-, low-, no-, or hilobrow heroes. Also born this date: Thomas Kuhn, Hunter S. Thompson.

READ MORE about members of the Postmodernist Generation (1924-33).

18 Jul 18:25

Being a White Person Who Talks about Race

by Robin Varghese
6a00d83453bcda69e20192ac0f33bd970d-400wi

Justin Smith over at his website:

There is a deeply ingrained idea coming from what passes for the Left, and distracting the younger and more naive members of the Left, to their own detriment, according to which we can each only speak for our own group, and in relation to other groups the most we can hope to be is 'allies'.

A good example of this was in the reaction to the phrase that sprang up spontaneously as a call to rally against the verdict: I am Trayvon Martin. This was of course not new, but a recycling of a common reaction to galvanizing events, e.g., the banners around Paris that declared Nous sommes tous américains on September 12, 2001. (I say, with Whitman: I am everyone, I am each of you, at every moment.) By the next morning some bold white internauts had posted video clips of themselves declaring emphatically that they are not Trayvon Martin, that they could not possibly be Trayvon Martin, in view of the many privileges they have that keep them safe from Martin's fate. By nightfall of the same day white people were abuzz in social media about how other white people needed to stop trying to get attention by announcing how not-Trayvon Martin they were, that this was not about what they either were or were not. 

Clearly, the white kids just don't know what to do with themselves. 

A white South African friend of mine in social-media land, a journalist I admire very much who is also a former ANC activist, wrote recently about a limousine ride he took in New York with an unnamed American hip-hop star. The driver was a Palestinian socialist. All three got to talking about the fall of Apartheid, and apparently the American simply could not get it through his head that there were white, Jewish ANC members fighting against Apartheid right alongside Mandela. The Jewish South African and the Palestinian driver in turn were alarmed at the American rapper's black-and-white thinking (as it were): the ANC wasn't made up of black people plus their white 'allies'; it was made up of South Africans who hated Apartheid. Listen to the way Mandela talks about Joe Slovo, for example. Is there any hint that Mandela thinks the Lithuanian Jewish immigrant doesn't get, can't get, what's at stake in bringing down a racist totalitarian system? Of course not. That's not the way racism is defeated. And the distraction of identity politics, perpetuated by well-intentioned young people who take themselves to be on the Left, is, I'm sorry to say, helping to abet and sustain the racist system in the United States.

So what is my deal? Why did I decide to write about race?

17 Jul 19:22

Pardon the Egg Salad Stains, But I’m in Love: Billy Collins Reads His Poem “Marginalia”

by Maria Popova

“We have all seized the white perimeter as our own and reached for a pen if only to show we did not just laze in an armchair turning pages…”

“Full ownership of a book only comes when you have made it a part of yourself,” Mortimer Adler wrote in his timeless 1941 gem How to Read a Book, “and the best way to make yourself a part of it — which comes to the same thing — is by writing in it.” Medieval monks, on the other hand, used the margins of their manuscripts to issue entertaining complaints. The notes left in previously loved books give us a special glimpse into the secret lives of their former owners. Whatever their substance, marginalia — the notes we jot down as we wrestle with the text, caress the sentences, and see-saw with the author’s mind — are a critical part of the reading experience for those of us who live in books.

Beloved poet Billy Collins explores that intricate dance in his 2005 poem “Marginalia,” which appears in the altogether sublime anthology Sailing Alone Around the Room: New and Selected Poems (public library). In this exquisite reading by Collins himself, found on his spoken-word album The Best Cigarette, the words spring to dignity with unequaled grace:

MARGINALIA by BILLY COLLINS

Sometimes the notes are ferocious,
skirmishes against the author
raging along the borders of every page
in tiny black script.
If I could just get my hands on you,
Kierkegaard, or Conor Cruise O’Brien,
they seem to say,
I would bolt the door and beat some logic into your head.

Other comments are more offhand, dismissive –
“Nonsense.” “Please!” “HA!!” –
that kind of thing.
I remember once looking up from my reading,
my thumb as a bookmark,
trying to imagine what the person must look like
why wrote “Don’t be a ninny”
alongside a paragraph in The Life of Emily Dickinson.

Students are more modest
needing to leave only their splayed footprints
along the shore of the page.
One scrawls “Metaphor” next to a stanza of Eliot’s.
Another notes the presence of “Irony”
fifty times outside the paragraphs of A Modest Proposal.

Or they are fans who cheer from the empty bleachers,
Hands cupped around their mouths.
“Absolutely,” they shout
to Duns Scotus and James Baldwin.
“Yes.” “Bull’s-eye.” “My man!”
Check marks, asterisks, and exclamation points
rain down along the sidelines.

And if you have managed to graduate from college
without ever having written “Man vs. Nature”
in a margin, perhaps now
is the time to take one step forward.

We have all seized the white perimeter as our own
and reached for a pen if only to show
we did not just laze in an armchair turning pages;
we pressed a thought into the wayside,
planted an impression along the verge.

Even Irish monks in their cold scriptoria
jotted along the borders of the Gospels
brief asides about the pains of copying,
a bird singing near their window,
or the sunlight that illuminated their page –
anonymous men catching a ride into the future
on a vessel more lasting than themselves.

And you have not read Joshua Reynolds,
they say, until you have read him
enwreathed with Blake’s furious scribbling.

Yet the one I think of most often,
the one that dangles from me like a locket,
was written in the copy of Catcher in the Rye
I borrowed from the local library
one slow, hot summer.
I was just beginning high school then,
reading books on a davenport in my parents’ living room,
and I cannot tell you
how vastly my loneliness was deepened,
how poignant and amplified the world before me seemed,
when I found on one page

A few greasy looking smears
and next to them, written in soft pencil –
by a beautiful girl, I could tell,
whom I would never meet –
“Pardon the egg salad stains, but I’m in love.”

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Brain Pickings takes 450+ hours a month to curate and edit across the different platforms, and remains banner-free. If it brings you any joy and inspiration, please consider a modest donation – it lets me know I'm doing something right. Holstee

17 Jul 19:19

Cathedrals to Commerce

by guest

by Jennifer Westrick

 

The many photographs of the Newberry Library’s CB&Q collection include striking images of various train terminals along the route.    Larger cities often constructed ornate depots that more than adequately served the needs of their dual markets:  those who chose to travel by train, and the railroad companies moving freight.

Taken in the mid-1940’s by Esther Bubley and Lee Russell, the images of these large, ornate buildings capture the feeling of reverence that surrounds these depots.   Many of these building remind me of churches and cathedrals build in European cities.  In both cases, the cities spared no expense.   Built in growing Midwestern towns, the best craftsmen were employed, local artists were used, expensive materials were employed and architectural details were designed to dazzle the eye.

For example, St. Louis chose to use stained glass and gold leaf to decorate its Grand Hall, which had a 65-foot tall arched ceiling.  Kansas City’s Union Station included such features as a 95’ ceiling, three 3,500 lb chandeliers and a 6’ wide clock.  The Great Hall in Chicago’s Union Station featured 18 soaring Corinthian columns, pink marble floors, and a five story barrel vaulted atrium ceiling.    To complete the comparison, patrons sit patiently on wooden pews, wearing their finest traveling clothes and often a most patient expression.

These photographs and many more are featured in a digital collection entitled “Daily Life Along the Chicago Burlington and Quincy Railroad” which can be accessed from the Newberry Library’s main webpage.

Chicago Union Station, early morning

Chicago Union Station, early morning (photo credit: Esther Bubley). Record number: A-5-1 Photographs, Artwork and Audiovisual, Granger Country Photographs, #355.

 

St. Louis Union Station, night scene

St. Louis Union Station, night scene (photo credit: Esther Bubley). Record number: A-5-1 Photographs, Artwork and Audiovisual, Granger Country Photographs, #2214.

 

Kansas City Union Station (photo credit: Esther Bubley)

Kansas City Union Station (photo credit: Esther Bubley). Record number: A-5-1 Photographs, Artwork and Audiovisual, Granger Country Photographs, #2178.

 

 

St. Paul Burlington Station (phot credit: Russell Lee)

St. Paul Burlington Station (photo credit: Russell Lee). Record number: A-5-1 Photographs, Artwork and Audiovisual, Granger Country Photographs, #2155M3

 

16 Jul 18:35

A dog rests on a couch in a store in Texas, 1992.Photograph by...



A dog rests on a couch in a store in Texas, 1992.Photograph by Bruce Dale, National Geographic

15 Jul 12:50

Why Time Slows Down When We’re Afraid, Speeds Up as We Age, and Gets Warped on Vacation

by Maria Popova

“Time perception matters because it is the experience of time that roots us in our mental reality.”

Given my soft spot for famous diaries, it should come as no surprise that I keep one myself. Perhaps the greatest gift of the practice has been the daily habit of reading what I had written on that day a year earlier; not only is it a remarkable tool of introspection and self-awareness, but it also illustrates that our memory “is never a precise duplicate of the original [but] a continuing act of creation” and how flawed our perception of time is — almost everything that occurred a year ago appears as having taken place either significantly further in the past (“a different lifetime,” I’d often marvel at this time-illusion) or significantly more recently (“this feels like just last month!”). Rather than a personal deficiency of those of us befallen by this tendency, however, it turns out to be a defining feature of how the human mind works, the science of which is at first unsettling, then strangely comforting, and altogether intensely interesting.

That’s precisely what acclaimed BBC broadcaster and psychology writer Claudia Hammond explores in Time Warped: Unlocking the Mysteries of Time Perception (public library) — a fascinating foray into the idea that our experience of time is actively created by our own minds and how these sensations of what neuroscientists and psychologists call “mind time” are created. As disorienting as the concept might seem — after all, we’ve been nursed on the belief that time is one of those few utterly reliable and objective things in life — it is also strangely empowering to think that the very phenomenon depicted as the unforgiving dictator of life is something we might be able to shape and benefit from. Hammond writes:

We construct the experience of time in our minds, so it follows that we are able to change the elements we find troubling — whether it’s trying to stop the years racing past, or speeding up time when we’re stuck in a queue, trying to live more in the present, or working out how long ago we last saw our old friends. Time can be a friend, but it can also be an enemy. The trick is to harness it, whether at home, at work, or even in social policy, and to work in line with our conception of time. Time perception matters because it is the experience of time that roots us in our mental reality. Time is not only at the heart of the way we organize life, but the way we experience it.

Discus chronologicus, a depiction of time by German engraver Christoph Weigel, published in the early 1720s; from Cartographies of Time. (Click for details)

Among the most intriguing illustrations of “mind time” is the incredible elasticity of how we experience time. (“Where is it, this present?,” William James famously wondered. “It has melted in our grasp, fled ere we could touch it, gone in the instant of becoming.”) For instance, Hammond points out, we slow time down when gripped by mortal fear — the cliche about the slow-motion car crash is, in fact, a cognitive reality. This plays out even in situations that aren’t life-or-death per se but are still associated with strong feelings of fear. Hammond points to a study in which people with arachnophobia were asked to look at spiders — the very object of their intense fear — for 45 seconds and they overestimated the elapsed time. The same pattern was observed in novice skydivers, who estimated the duration of their peers’ falls as short, whereas their own, from the same altitude, were deemed longer.

Inversely, time seems to speed up as we get older — a phenomenon of which competing theories have attempted to make light. One, known as the “proportionality theory,” uses pure mathematics, holding that a year feels faster when you’re 40 than when you’re 8 because it only constitutes one fortieth of your life rather than a whole eighth. Among its famous proponents are Vladimir Nabokov and William James. But Hammond remains unconvinced:

The problem with the proportionality theory is that it fails to account for the way we experience time at any one moment. We don’t judge one day in the context of our whole lives. If we did, then for a 40-year-old every single day should flash by because it is less than one fourteen-thousandth of the life they’ve had so far. It should be fleeting and inconsequential, yet if you have nothing to do or an enforced wait at an airport for example, a day at 40 can still feel long and boring and surely longer than a fun day at the seaside packed with adventure for a child. … It ignores attention and emotion, which … can have a considerable impact on time perception.

Another theory suggests that perhaps it is the tempo of life in general that has accelerated, making things from the past appear as slower, including the passage of time itself.

But one definite change does take place with age: As we grow older, we tend to feel like the previous decade elapsed more rapidly, while the earlier decades of our lives seem to have lasted longer. Similarly, we tend to think of events that took place in the past 10 years as having happened more recently than they actually did. (Quick: What year did the devastating Japanese tsunami hit? When did we love Maurice Sendak?) Conversely, we perceive events that took place more than a decade ago as having happened even longer ago. (When did Princess Diana die? What year was the Chernobyl disaster?) This, Hammond points out, is known as “forward telescoping”:

It is as though time has been compressed and — as if looking through a telescope — things seem closer than they really are. The opposite is called backward or reverse telescoping, also known as time expansion. This is when you guess that events happened longer ago than they really did. This is rare for distant events, but not uncommon for recent weeks.

[…]

The most straightforward explanation for it is called the clarity of memory hypothesis, proposed by the psychologist Norman Bradburn in 1987. This is the simple idea that because we know that memories fade over time, we use the clarity of a memory as a guide to its recency. So if a memory seems unclear we assume it happened longer ago.

And yet the brain does keep track of time, even if inaccurately. Hammond explains the factors that come into play with our inner chronometry:

It is clear that however the brain counts time, it has a system that is very flexible. It takes account of [factors like] emotions, absorption, expectations, the demands of a task and even the temperature .The precise sense we are using also makes a difference; an auditory event appears longer than a visual one. Yet somehow the experience of time created by the mind feels very real, so real that we feel we know what to expect from it, and are perpetually surprised whenever it confuses us by warping.

In fact, memory — which is itself a treacherous act of constant transformation with each recollection — is intricately related to this warping process:

We know that time has an impact on memory, but it is also memory that creates and shapes our experience of time. Our perception of the past moulds our experience of time in the present to a greater degree than we might realize. It is memory that creates the peculiar, elastic properties of time. It not only gives us the ability to conjure up a past experience at will, but to reflect on those thoughts through autonoetic consciousness — the sense that we have of ourselves as existing across time — allowing us to re-experience a situation mentally and to step outside those memories to consider their accuracy.

But, curiously, we are most likely to vividly remember experiences we had between the ages of 15 and 25. What the social sciences might simply call “nostalgia” psychologists have termed the “reminiscence bump” and, Hammond argues, it could be the key to why we feel like time speeds up as we get older:

The reminiscence bump involves not only the recall of incidents; we even remember more scenes from the films we saw and the books we read in our late teens and early twenties. … The bump can be broken down even further — the big news events that we remember best tend to have happened earlier in the bump, while our most memorable personal experiences are in the second half.

[…]

The key to the reminiscence bump is novelty. The reason we remember our youth so well is that it is a period where we have more new experiences than in our thirties or forties. It’s a time for firsts — first sexual relationships, first jobs, first travel without parents, first experience of living away from home, the first time we get much real choice over the way we spend our days. Novelty has such a strong impact on memory that even within the bump we remember more from the start of each new experience.

Most fascinating of all, however, is the reason the “reminiscence bump” happens in the first place: Hammond argues that because memory and identity are so closely intertwined, it is in those formative years, when we’re constructing our identity and finding our place in the world, that our memory latches onto particularly vivid details in order to use them later in reinforcing that identity. Interestingly, Hammond points out, people who undergo a major transformation of identity later in life — say, changing careers or coming out — tend to experience a second identity bump, which helps them reconcile and consolidate their new identity.

So what makes us date events more accurately? Hammond sums up the research:

You are most likely to remember the timing of an event if it was distinctive, vivid, personally involving and is a tale you have recounted many times since.

But one of the most enchanting instances of time-warping is what Hammond calls the Holiday Paradox — “the contradictory feeling that a good holiday whizzes by, yet feels long when you look back.” (An “American translation” might term it the Vacation Paradox.) Her explanation of its underlying mechanisms is reminiscent of legendary psychologist Daniel Kahneman’s theory of the clash between the “experiencing self” and the “remembering self”. Hammond explains:

The Holiday Paradox is caused by the fact that we view time in our minds in two very different ways — prospectively and retrospectively. Usually these two perspectives match up, but it is in all the circumstances where we remark on the strangeness of time that they don’t.

[…]

We constantly use both prospective and retrospective estimation to gauge time’s passing. Usually they are in equilibrium, but notable experiences disturb that equilibrium, sometimes dramatically. This is also the reason we never get used to it, and never will. We will continue to perceive time in two ways and continue to be struck by its strangeness every time we go on holiday.

Like the “reminiscence bump,” the Holiday Paradox has to do with the quality and concentration of new experiences, especially in contrast to familiar daily routines. During ordinary life, time appears to pass at a normal pace, and we use markers like the start of the workday, weekends, and bedtime to assess the rhythm of things. But once we go on vacation, the stimulation of new sights, sounds, and experiences injects a disproportionate amount of novelty that causes these two types of time to misalign. The result is a warped perception of time.

Ultimately, this source of great mystery and frustration also holds the promise of great liberation and empowerment. Hammond concludes:

We will never have total control over this extraordinary dimension. Time will warp and confuse and baffle and entertain however much we learn about its capacities. But the more we learn, the more we can shape it to our will and destiny. We can slow it down or speed it up. We can hold on to the past more securely and predict the future more accurately. Mental time-travel is one of the greatest gifts of the mind. It makes us human, and it makes us special.

Time Warped, a fine addition to these essential reads on time, goes on to explore such philosophically intriguing and practically useful questions as how our internal clocks dictate our lives, what the optimal pace of productivity might be, and why inhabiting life with presence is the only real way to master time. Pair it with this remarkable visual history of humanity’s depictions of time.

Photographs: Public domain images unless otherwise noted

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Brain Pickings has a free weekly newsletter. It comes out on Sundays and offers the week’s best articles. Here’s what to expect. Like? Sign up.

Brain Pickings takes 450+ hours a month to curate and edit across the different platforms, and remains banner-free. If it brings you any joy and inspiration, please consider a modest donation – it lets me know I'm doing something right. Holstee

15 Jul 12:38

Trayvon Martin and the Irony of American Justice

by Ta-Nehisi Coates

A photograph that appeared in a chain e-mail about Trayvon Martin. In fact, the man in the photo is a 32-year-old rapper considerably larger than the slain 16-year-old.In trying to assess the killing of Trayvon Martin by George Zimmerman, two seemingly conflicting truths emerge for me. The first is that based on the case presented by the state, and based on Florida law, George Zimmerman should not have been convicted of second degree murder or manslaughter. The second is that the killing of Trayvon Martin is a profound injustice. In examining the first conclusion, I think it's important to take a very hard look at the qualifications allowed for aggressors by Florida's self-defense statute: Use of force by aggressor.--The justification described in the preceding sections of this chapter is not available to a person who: (1) Is attempting to commit, committing, or escaping after the commission of, a forcible felony; or. (2) Initially provokes the use of force against himself or herself, unless: (a) Such force is so great that the person reasonably believes that he or she is in imminent danger of death or great bodily harm and that he or she has exhausted every reasonable means to escape such danger other than the use of force which is likely to cause death or great bodily harm to the assailant; or (b) In good faith, the person withdraws from physical contact with the assailant and indicates clearly to the assailant that he or she desires to withdraw and terminate the use of force, but the assailant continues or resumes the use of force.I don't think the import of this is being appreciated. Effectively, I can bait you into a fight and if I start losing I can can legally kill you, provided I "believe" myself to be subject to "great bodily harm." It is then the state's job to prove -- beyond a reasonable doubt -- that I either did not actually fear for my life, or my fear was unreasonable. In the case of George Zimmerman, even if the state proved that he baited an encounter (and I am not sure they did) they still must prove that he had no reasonable justification to fear for his life. You see very similar language in the actual instructions given to the jury:In deciding whether George Zimmerman was justified in the use of deadly force, you must judge him by the circumstances by which he was surrounded at the time the force was used. The danger facing George Zimmerman need not have been actual; however, to justify the use of deadly force, the appearance of danger must have been so real that a reasonably cautious and prudent person under the same circumstances would have believed that the danger could be avoided only through the use of that force. Based upon appearances, George Zimmerman must have actually believed that the danger was real. If George Zimmerman was not engaged in an unlawful activity and was attacked in any place where he had a right to be, he had no duty to retreat and had the right to stand his ground and meet force with force, including deadly force if he reasonably believed that it was necessary to do so to prevent death or great bodily harm to himself or another or to prevent the commission of a forcible felony. There has been a lot of complaint that "stand your ground" has nothing to do with this case. That contention is contravened by the fact that it is cited in the instructions to the jury. Taken together, it is important to understand that it is not enough for the state to prove that George Zimmerman acted unwisely in following Martin. Under Florida law, George Zimmerman had no responsibility to -- at any point -- retreat. The state must prove that Zimmerman had no reasonable fear for his life. Moreover, it is not enough for the jury to find Zimmerman's story fishy. Again the jury instructions:George Zimmerman has entered a plea of not guilty. This means you must presume or believe George Zimmerman is innocent. The presumption stays with George Zimmerman as to each material allegation in the Information through each stage of the trial unless it has been overcome by the evidence to the exclusion of and beyond a reasonable doubt. To overcome George Zimmerman's presumption of innocence, the State has the burden of proving the crime with which George Zimmerman is charged was committed and George Zimmerman is the person who committed the crime. George Zimmerman is not required to present evidence or prove anything. Whenever the words "reasonable doubt" are used you must consider the following: A reasonable doubt is not a mere possible doubt, a speculative, imaginary or forced doubt. Such a doubt must not influence you to return a verdict of not guilty if you have an abiding conviction of guilt. On the other hand if, after carefully considering, comparing and weighing all the evidence, there is not an abiding conviction of guilt, or, if having a conviction, it is one which is not stable but one which wavers and vacillates, then the charge is not proved beyond every reasonable doubt and you must find George Zimmerman not guilty because the doubt is reasonable. It is to the evidence introduced in this trial, and to it alone, that you are to look for that proof. A reasonable doubt as to the guilt of George Zimmerman may arise from the evidence, conflict in the evidence, or the lack of evidence. If you have a reasonable doubt, you should find George Zimmerman not guilty. If you have no reasonable doubt, you should find George Zimmerman guilty.This was the job given to the state of Florida. I have seen nothing within the actual case presented by the prosecution that would allow for a stable and unvacillating belief that George Zimmerman was guilty.That conclusion should not offer you security or comfort. It should not leave you secure in the wisdom of our laws. On the contrary, it should greatly trouble you. But if you are simply focusing on what happened in the court-room, then you have been head-faked by history and bought into a idea of fairness which can not possibly exist.The injustice inherent in the killing of Trayvon Martin by George Zimmerman was not authored by a jury given a weak case. The jury's performance may be the least disturbing aspect of this entire affair. The injustice was authored by a country which has taken as its policy, for the lionshare of its history, to erect a pariah class. The killing of Trayvon Martin by George Zimmerman is not an error in programming. It is the correct result of forces we set in motion years ago and have done very little to arrest.One need only look the criminalization of Martin across the country. Perhaps you have been lucky enough to not receive the above "portrait" of Trayvon Martin and its accompanying text. The portrait is actually of a 32-year old man. Perhaps you were lucky enough to not see the Trayvon Martin imagery used for target practice (by law enforcement, no less.) Perhaps you did not see the iPhone games. Or maybe you missed the theory presently being floated by Zimmerman's family that Martin was a gun-runner and drug-dealer in training, that texts and tweets he sent mark him as a criminal in waiting. Or the theory floated that the mere donning of a hoodie marks you a thug, leaving one wondering why this guy is a criminal and this one is not.We have spent much of this year outlining the ways in which American policy has placed black people outside of the law. We are now being told that after having pursued such policies for 200 years, after codifying violence in slavery, after a people conceived in mass rape, after permitting the disenfranchisement of black people through violence, after Draft riots, after white-lines, white leagues, and red shirts, after terrorism, after standing aside for the better reduction of Rosewood and the improvement of Tulsa, after the coup d'etat in Wilmington, after Airport Homes and Cicero, after Ossian Sweet, after Arthur Lee McDuffie, after Anthony Baez, Amadou Diallo and Eleanor Bumpers, after Kathryn Johnston and the Danziger Bridge, that there are no ill effects, that we are pure, that we are just, that we are clean. Our sense of self is incredible. We believe ourselves to have inherited all of Jefferson's love of freedom, but none of his affection for white supremacy. You should not be troubled that George Zimmerman "got away" with the killing of Trayvon Martin, you should be troubled that you live in a country that ensures that Trayvon Martin will happen. Trayvon Martin is happening again in Florida. Right now: In November, black youth Jordan Davis, a 17-year-old Jacksonville resident, was the only person murdered after Michael Dunn, 46, allegedly shot into the SUV Davis was inside several times after an argument about the volume of music playing. According to Dunn's girlfriend, Rhonda Rouer, Dunn had three rum and cokes at a wedding reception. She felt secure enough for him to drive and thought that he was in a good mood. On the drive back to the hotel they were residing at, they made a pit stop at the convenience store where the murder occurred. At the Gate Station, Rouer said Dunn told her that he hated "thug music." Rouer then went inside the store to make purchases and heard several gunshots while she was still within the building. Upon returning and seeing Dunn put his gun back into the glove compartment, Rouer asked why he had shot at the car playing music and Dunn claimed that he feared for his life and that "they threatened to kill me." The couple drove back to their hotel, and claim they did not realize anyone had died until the story appeared on the news the next day.After killing Jordan Davis, Michael Dunn ordered a pizza.When you have a society that takes at its founding the hatred and degradation of a people, when that society inscribes that degradation in its most hallowed document, and continues to inscribe hatred in its laws and policies, it is fantastic to believe that its citizens will derive no ill messaging.It is painful to say this: Trayvon Martin is not a miscarriage of American justice, but American justice itself. This is not our system malfunctioning. It is our system working as intended. To expect our juries, our schools, our police to single-handedly correct for this, is to look at the final play in the final minute of the final quarter and wonder why we couldn't come back from twenty-four down. To paraphrase a great man: We are what our record says we are. How can we sensibly expect different?


    


11 Jul 03:44

Why Dudes Are Weird on Romance Covers

by SB Sarah

I think the title of this entry might be misleading. I don't actually know why dudes are weird. And I certainly don't have an explanation for the dude behavior on these covers, except to possibly suggest that Photoshop and poor image layer integration might possibly be involved. Or, it could be because dudes on romance covers are just weird. You decide. 

 Book Woman in a bathtub on a hillside with a shirtless cowboy hat wearing dude behind her like he's about to climb in the tub and push her out

 Look, bathtubs on the hillside only mean ONE THING. 

Cialis-  two people on a hillside in separate bathtubs. No I have no idea why.

Look. If that cowboy is trying to get into the tub and possibly push her out, then we know what that means. Not that there's anything wrong with pharmaceutical assistance - but she's hogging his pharma-bathtub, and that won't end well for either of them.

I think the bathtub on the hillside motif is probably not what romance heroes want to hang around with. I mean, they're the ones who are ready to go again two minutes after they shatter/explode/fall/devolve/disintigrate/swim upstream with the heroine.

The bathtub of love is better than what this hero is up to: 

 Book Dude in an open shirt and cowboy hat leaning up against barbed wire I shit you not

 

I grew up in a medium sized city, and know very little about ranch and farm life. But even I know that you do NOT lean up against barbed wire, with or without your shirt open. 

OUCH. Jeez, dude. 

Also: there is an outstanding accidental dong in that photograph: 

The muscle ridges of his abdomen totally look like a two foot dong coming out of his pants

 

See it? 

No? Here's a larger closeup: 

close up of dude's abdominal muscles and possible mega dong

 

It's extremely large and incredibly close, that dong. Why that guy would want to mistreat his back by leaning up against barbed wire is beyond me - unless he's trying to make it go down by inflicting pain upon himself. A cold bathtub on a hillside would probably be a less bloody alternative treatment for that condition. 

And then there's this guy, who isn't himself all that weird, except for his magical sunbeam dog: 

 Book Cowboy leaning up against a fence with a dog clearly photoshopped in next to him

 

Is he being hunted by Sunbeam Dog? Wait, is Sunbeam Dog a GHOST DOG? Maybe he's a CLOCKWORK SUNBEAM GHOST DOG! I'll have to ask Carrie S to read it and find out because CLOCKWORK DOG.

Either way, hunted or not, how can a rancher just ignore his dog like that? I mean, really. That dog is working so hard to avoid all the shadows cast by an alternate sun in that universe. Dude who looks a little like Woody Harrelson has all kinds of fence shadow action,but the CLOCKWORK SUNBEAM GHOST DOG is without shadow - and looking so hopefully at the oblivous rancher. Really, what is up with that guy? (We won't begin to discuss the creases on his jeans in the zipper-area. Too much, too much).

Got any additional examples of heroes being weird on book covers? I know you do - feel free to share! Just don't ignore your sunbeam ghost dog. He needs a drink!

Categories: Covers Gone Wild! (Non-Snoop Dogg Edition), General Bitching