Go Green Plumbing Ltd.

How Memes Can Save Plumbing

Hello and welcome!  Thank you for joining us today.  You’ve picked a great day to take a lick of this blogsicle because we are examining the conscious thoughts and feelings of memes and their affect on plumbing.  Sounds super deep, I know–and we might get there, but mainly, this blog is going to be:     F       U        N.

Here we go!

1.  Goal Setting

Remember three years ago when you said you would replace the toilet?  And then two years ago when said you were going to install new faucets?  And then yesterday when you remembered that you had forgotten to do those things?  Welp, get on it!  Srsly, this baby probably did all that in an hour and what did you do?  Eat pizza off your stomach because you were too tired to find a plate?  PS.  If you’re wondering what this baby looks like now, check ‘dis out!

Are memes allowed to grow up? Something just doesn’t seem okay about it. Once a meme goes platinum (10 Million shares), the person or animal should be frozen in time. Wait, nope, that’s even less okay. Nevermind. Plus, I made up that fact about platinum being 10 million shares. Moving on? YUP.

2. Gersberms!

This photo just shows true, honest excitement. It’s oozing with passion. When’s the last time you felt that way about your house? Not *that* way, get your mind out of the eavestrough. Anyways, bring that same passion into remodelling your bathroom, fixing up your kitchen, or just into routine seasonal check-ups for leaks and damage to your pipes.

3. Productivity

Have you noticed that a lot of memes revolve around productivity and a strong lack of motivation? What’s that all about, anyways? At least the person making the meme is motivated to make a meme. I bet their spirits get a boost when it goes viral. “Woah, millions of people feel the same procrastination that I do.” The moral of this meme is to know you’re not alone in your procrastination, but don’t let that be an excuse to continue letting it happen, let the unmotivation motivate you. Because that makes sense.

4. Need a Plumber?

And, lastly, a fresh one we cooked up just now. If you need a plumber, have any questions or just want to chat about freezing memes in time, be sure to call or text us at 289-244-9843, because at Go Green Plumbing, we are always happy to help.

Summer Plumbing Tips

It’s officially the first day of summer. And although we’ve had a few days where it’s felt like Niagara’s inside of a volcano, I’d say we’ve had a pretty fantastic spring. But all good things eventually come to an end, hence Judge Judy is still on the air, so let’s say goodbye to spring and welcome summer with open arms. And to help you out this summer, here’s a few common summer problems and some easy fixes.

1.  Clogs in Pipes

The kids will be home from school, Aunt Marge will be using your house as a hotel because she just *has* to see the Falls for the 18th time and for some reason everyone’s birthday party ends up at your house. Needless to say, your house gets a ton of traffic over the summer. Remind everyone that a toilet is for toilet paper and waste only to reduce clogs. As well, keep a plunger handy because, do kids always listen?

2. Water Leaks

I’ve said it here once, and I’ll say it a million times: look fo’ leaks! Leaks are the most common summertime problem due to pipes freezing over the winter, then cracking from the summer heat. Check your water heater for signs of rust, check pipes, faucets, check your whole house–you can never be too thorough. Unless your idea of thorough is taking an axe to the drywall to check each pipe like you checked your legs for ticks after that excursion to Ticksville, Ohio. Re-dry walling and painting is not exactly cost effective, but I think you know that already. But then why are you reading this? << And that? Just to see what I’m going to say next? Taco cat.

3. Sprinkler Problems

If you have a sprinkler system, a damaged head or line could spike your water bill to an unappreciated amount. As well, your lawn will not be receiving an even distribution of water, and it will start yelling, “THIS ISN’T FAIR!”, turn yellow and you’ll have to tell it to go to it’s room. But wait, the yard is it’s room, so that won’t be effective. Are children exactly like lawns? Disclaimer: don’t mow your kids if they need a haircut.

4. That Is One Big Pile Of…

…Hair. One big pile of hair. Many cats and dogs are shedding that winter coat right now, so if you can, avoid bathing them so their hair doesn’t clog up the drain in the tub. As well, brush your pet regularly to avoid this all together. And if you must bathe them because your royal dog expects it, spray that King down with a hose outside before taking it in for it’s regal sponge bath.

Pretend that this is a big pile of hair, not dino droppings.  Wait, don’t do that, somehow I think that’s worse.

5. Basement Floods

Lastly, floods in the basement. I’m not talking about that box of ’80s things you can’t let go of, I’m pointing at you Dave, with that box of 31 Glo Worms and a single Sony Walkman. Summertime can bring those heavy summer rainfalls and storms, causing damage to gutters and drain areas. Install a sump pump, always clean your gutters and drainage areas and consider calling a professional to take a look at the grading of your property. Of course, Tim down the street can take a look for you, but does that always work out?

If you need a plumber, have any questions or just want to chat about your Glo Worm collection (even if your name isn’t Dave), be sure to call or text us at 289-244-9843, because at Go Green Plumbing, we are always happy to help.

Recovering From Water Damage

I’m going to start a blog this time without talking about the weather.  Wait–I just said weather, did I ruin it already?   Introductions to blogs and small talk are basically the same thing–bring up something that’s relatable to rope someone in, then you have their attention and you can talk their ear off about anything you want for the next 10 minutes.  And they’ll stay, as long as their polite.  Did I just make you feel guilty about possibly clicking the ‘x’ or ‘back’ button?  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Moving on!  We talk a lot about preventative measures, dealing with problems before they happen.  But what about those struggling with the effects of an accident days, weeks, or even months later?  Stay tuned to this screen to follow our soggy footsteps to recovering from water damage.

1.  Stop The Rise

If you come home to a flood in it’s already up passed your ankles, it’s possible that it’s still slowly rising.  So your first step is to find your water shut-off valve and and turn it to stop the flow.  If you are unsure where it is, a good first guess would be in your basement, where the main supply comes into your house.  If your house doesn’t have a basement: start digging, make a basement and your water shut-off valve should appear right before your very eyes.  As long as you live on the rainbow planet known as Squishybunnysmilyville.  If you don’t, and I’m guessing this is true, get searching!  It might be located outside, under a water meter.  If it is, you need a special tool to turn the valve–so if this is your sitch, check if you have that tool and head to the hardware store if you don’t!

2. Protect From Shock

As long as you use a ground-type Pokémon like Onix or Diglett, electric attacks will not be effective.  Wait, this isn’t a Pokémon blog.  Scratch that.  If you have water damage, your number one concern needs to be electrical safety.  If there is just a tiny leak in one area, then shut off the electrical breakers that are connected to the outlets in that area.  If the flooding is more severe, then shut off all the breakers.

How I feel whenever I shut off a breaker.

3. Hold On To Your Butts

I mean, cover your assets.  Call your insurance company and give them the deets.  Be specific and as some plans will only cover burst pipe incidents and not flooding accidents.  Didn’t know this and you now you’re questioning what coverage you have?  Call your insurance company and find out!  There’s those preventative measures again. :P

4. Wring It Out!

Save what you can!  Just because you’ve been attacked by a crazy water monster, it doesn’t mean that everything is shot!  Try to dry out as much as you can to save it from suffering even more damage.  Anything sentimental such as photos still hold their value even if they have a few water stains on them.  Plus, photos can be scanned and digitally edited to look fresh and new!

If you need a plumber, have any questions or just want to chat about launching a spaceship and setting course to planet Squishybunnysmileyville, be sure to call or text us at 289-244-9843, because at Go Green Plumbing, we are always happy to help.

Why Does My Water Stink?

I’m so glad you decided to join us on this lovely day.  Today we are kicking off a brand new series featuring common plumbing questions.  You know those questions that just pop into your head when you’re munching down on your Cranberry Almond Crunch cereal that you tell yourself is an ‘adult’ cereal, even though it has more sugar than Frosted Flakes.  Don’t be upset with yourself though, it’s not your fault really.  You’re just a victim of clever branding and marketing.  Anyways, let’s talk about stanky water.

1.  Find The Source

First of all, you need to identify if this is a water issue at all, as it could be your drains.  Feeling thirsty yet?  Find yourself a nice glass, it could be your favourite glass if you so choose.  Fill it up with water from the faucet in question and go for a nice walk with it.  Smell it.  Not trying to be forceful here, but are you listening yet?  Or are you reading on to see if I’m just messing with you.  Welp, jokes aside, you need to smell it.  If it smells like rotten eggs, it means one of three things:

1) You need to replace the anode rod in your water heater.

2) Your water softener needs to be changed.

3) There may be a buildup of bacteria in your well or water distribution system.

If you’re curious, this smell is in fact a buildup of sulphur bacteria creating this taste and smell.  So, even if you enjoy a nice glass of watered down rotten eggs on the rocks, take care of it–it’s bacteria after all.  Nobody ever eats bacteria.

2. Check The Drain

Oh no.  Oh boy.  It’s you, isn’t it!  The one that’s been letting food carelessly go down the drain.  I’m here to tell you that unlike Volcano Bay’s Ohyah Drop Slide in Orlando, Florida, stuff gets stuck on the way down.  It doesn’t just have the ride of its lifetime, then end up in a splash pool of refreshing heaven, Ohno.  It gets stuck in your pipes, begins to decompose and stank up your house.  Call a plumber and have this dealt with at your leisure ASAP.

3. Check-ch-check-check-check-ch-check it out
What-wha-what-what-what’s it all about? 

Check out your sewer line.  Grab the shrink ray or hit up Leo, Raph, Mikey and Don and get them to check it out.  If your water seems to have lost its pressure, smells musty, or you’ve seen some crazy, unexpected spikes in your bill there may be an issue with your wastewater and its removal.  If you don’t have a shrink ray in your garage or the ninja turtles in your contact list, give us a call, we’d be happy to take a look at it.

4. Contact Your Local Water Testing Spider-Man Lab

This last baby is just if you are on a well system.  If the issue isn’t going away, google up some local water testers to come and check out your source.  They’ll take it from there and give you all the help you need.

If you need a plumber, have any questions or just want to chat about how to get the TMNT over to your house (partial spoiler: it involves a 24-slice, 2 ancient samurai swords and a half-wet rat), be sure to call or text us at 289-244-9843, because at Go Green Plumbing, we are always happy to help.

Is My Sewer Line Broken?

You probably don’t often dig up your entire backyard and check on your cute little sewer line down there.  Nor do you have a glass floor underneath your backyard astroturf that you peel up in order to complete daily inspections of your sewer line.  Alright, I guess I’m making some mighty assumptions.  So if either of those situations apply to you, please ignore this blog and go about your ‘normal’ life.  But first, maybe invite me over sometime and show me that glass floor.  We could talk about events, ticket prices.  I mean, the CN Tower makes a killing–you could at least make bring home some bacon.

1. I’m All About That Stank

If you notice a sewer odor in your basement or even in your backyard, there’s a good chance that there’s an issue with your sewer line. However, do not confuse this with a dried out drain in your basement, as this has the potential to create a stinky basement. Or, if you’re not a fan of the smell of fish, or stinky bassment. ;)

2. Your Drains Get Clogged Way Too Easily

A clog now and then is quite understandable, especially if you’re not a plate licker, or scraping your plates into the compost like a good boy or good girl. What we are talking about here is a redonkulous amount of clogs in multiple drains throughout your house. That’s the telltale sign that you may have an issue with your sewer line and you should front dat cash and get it checked out.

3. Mushy Yard Spots

I realize that multiple mushy yard spots is the goal of most homeowners. But for those who are annoyed by them, rest assured, it’s probably for a good reason.  It’s possible your sewer line in that area has cracked or split and the soggy zone you know and hate is a result of sewage over-saturating the earth.  So, in a nutshell, just know that I understand your hatred for squishy lawn spots.

4. Gurgling Toilet

Typically if your toilet sounds like it’s talking, it’s because it is.  And it’s usually saying, “Need a plumber?  Need a plumber!”  A gurgling sound indicates that air is in your sewer system, which means there is a possible crack, split or break in the pipe.  Wow, we really do live in a world where our toilets communicate to us.  This is the dream.  We’ve arrived.

This is extremely frightening.

If you need a plumber, have any questions or just want to chat about talking toilets and how the future has arrived, be sure to call or text us at 289-244-9843, because at Go Green Plumbing, we are always happy to help.

Am I Wasting Water?

If you stand far away from the device your reading this blog, squint your eyes and stare at the background of this week’s blog header, people will probably ask you a couple questions.  That’s okay, tell them you’re crazy.  But you’ll also notice a washing machine in the background.  This week’s blog is all about ‘dem washing machines and how you you can save water.  Let’s dive in!  ….not actually dive in like in this news article.

1. Don’t Use As Much Water

Such a brilliant idea isn’t it?  I know, I know, it sounds obvious, but if you’re doing just a small load, set the appropriate water amount.  As well, newer washing machines are increasingly more efficient.  Maybe it’s time you took the plunge?  …once again, not a plunge into your washing machine.  Just get rid of the old one, and purchase a new one!

How you get rid of the old one is your choice.

2. Don’t Overload Your Washing Machine

If you cram too much in there, the clothes won’t wash properly, and you may have to wash everything again.  You may think you’re saving water at first, but if you’re having to wash twice, you’re wasting water, brutha.  Batman, for instance, is waiting to wash his mask until the second load.  Do as Batman does.  Plus, too many clothes can damage the drum and decrease efficiency.  Be a superhero washing machine user.

These two know what they’re doing.

3. Use A Cat To Check For Leaks

Cats are great for jumping into your washing machine to have a look around.  If you don’t have a cat, you can do it yourself, but I’d consider getting one for this sole purpose.  Check for leaky internal hoses, worn out fittings and pumps that could be decreasing your washing machine’s efficiency.

 Round and round he goes.  When he’ll stop, no one knows.

4. Check Your Detergent

If you have a high efficiency washing machine, make sure you are buying laundry detergent with the HE label on it.  What’s the difference?  Apparently, these laundry detergents are low on the suds and high on the less water usage meter.  What are you waiting for?  Go get some today!

I just like this. It’s not that relevant.

If you need a plumber, have any questions or just want to chat about employing cats and how this can change the world, be sure to call or text us at 289-244-9843, because at Go Green Plumbing, we are always happy to help.

Why Does My Shower Scorch Me?

Do you ever fly out your shower because it turned your skin as red hot as a chewy red hot?  If this happens to you more than you would like to admit, jump on into this week’s blog post because we are about to change your life.  Well, our first tip might not help most of you, but you should get a chuckle out of it.  And, sometimes, all we need is a good heart chuckle.  So step right up because it’s laughin’ and learnin’ time here at Go Green Plumbing.

1. You Can’t Always Blame The Shower

You step into your shower, all ready for a soothing moment of blissful relaxation, then this happens:

Warning: some fireworks may be hot.

As the title suggests, you can’t always blame the shower.  You can, however, usually blame your roommates.  So make sure that you’re not just getting pranked every time your shower burns you.  That’s step one–continue on to find out other common causes of a scalding shower.

2. Did You Lose Your Cool?

Do a check around the house for cold water.  If every other faucet is shooting out hot, fiery water, then begins the hunt.  Unless you know where you shutoff valves are and thus ruined this fun little scavenger hunt I was about to send you on.  Either way, check to make sure a valve hasn’t been shut off accidentally (or perhaps prank-cidentally).  If that’s the case, then BAM! problem solved.  If not, it’s time to get friendly with your pressure balancing valves.

Rhum-boom-boom-boom
Ole-Ole-Ole-Ole
Ole-Ole-Ole-Ole
Feelin’ Hot Hot Hot!

3. Keep Your Balance

A cartridge in a pressure balancing valve is just like Superman, except its Kryptonite is corrosion and mineral buildup.  Also, it can’t fly, it can’t shoot lasers out of its eyes, nor does it have eyes, or a mouth, or a butt.  It does, however, have a diaphragm.  And Superman has a diaphragm, so there you go: the same.  Anyways, when a cartridge needs to be replaced, how do you know which one to buy?  Check out step 4 to find out!

Check out that sexy diaphragm.

4. You Can’t Just Blow Into It Like An NES/SNES Video Game Cartridge

I’ve tried.  Just blowing into shower cartridge won’t work magic like it did in the days of Super Mario Bros. 3.  You can dream though, and I will support your dreams with encouraging words and no money.  Remove the old cartridge and bring it along with you to purchase the exact replacement–then you won’t have to make 43 trips back and forth because you bought the wrong one 42 times.  Once you have the cartridge, check out this video for majestic instructional know-how on how to replace it yourself!

If you need a plumber, have any questions or just want to let us know about more similarities that Superman and a shower cartridge share, be sure to call or text us at 289-244-9843, because at Go Green Plumbing, we are always happy to help.

Why Is My Hot Water Cold?

Good morning! Oh, and in case I don’t see you, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight!  In fact, I never see you.  (Is that weird?)  Who are you?  What’s your favourite colour?  What do you do on a typical March 31st if it lands on a Sunday?  Okay, now that we’ve built a strong relationship, I’m gonna learn ya, and you’re going to believe whatever I say.  Disclaimer: I am trustworthy, my mom told me once in Grade 3, so you can’t argue that 24 karat magic gold statement.  Plus, we accept the reality we are presented with.  It’s as simple as that.  Speaking of accepting things: do you just put with your cold shower water because you’ve just gotten used to it over the years?  Is your hot water actually cold water?  Are your showers relaxing for 5 minutes, then the last final seconds you feel your Jake Gyllenhaal in the Day After Tomorrow running for your life to escape the freezing death chill?

If this is your shower experience, be prepared to have your world changed forever.

1. Check Your Water Heater

Perhaps your water heater size is more suited for a mouse.  Or a bunny.  Or an ant.  Or something else infinitesimally tiny.  If your shower runs out and your still as sudsy as a soap opera doused in classic shampoo, then mayhaps it is time to get a bigger water heater.  Some households just need it.  Take the plunge and get a larger water heater.  Your defrosted toes will thank you and you’ll no longer have to wait an hour after putting a load of laundry in.

Does your hot water last just enough for a bunny cleansing?

2. Cut The Chitchat + Check The Thermostat

Don’t be a brat bobcat in the middle of combat with a bureaucrat and an acrobat who housesat for your buddy’s muskrat named Tim.  Take a look at your thermostat on your water heater and ensure it hasn’t gotten bumped our turned down by a rascal roommate or family member.  PS. Do not turn it up higher than 120°F.  Chu don’t wanna burn yo’ bum!

Dad mode’s 6th sense

Your roommate who does this is definitely named Susan.

3. Is Your Water Heater Older Than Betty White?

Even if your water heater is older than Ariana Grande, that’s too dang old.  They’re not humans, so why would you compare them?  Oh, right.  I was the one comparing them.  You got me.  If your water heater is older than a fifth grader, then things can begin to break down: heating elements, gas valves, thermostats.  Have them serviced to see if it’s fixable before you just replace it.  Let’s create a fix-it world instead of a toss-it trash planet.

How do you pick just one Betty White gif?

You don’t.

You take them all.

Betty White gifs are like Lays chips. Betcha can’t eat share just one!

4. Clean That Dirty Thean / Cling That Dirty Thing / Clang That Darty Thang

Whatever way you want to say it, your water heater might just need to be cleaned.  Over time, sediment builds up in the tank and decreases deficiency.  If you don’t feel comfortable jumping to the task yourself, give us a call!

Our cleaning efficiency is about 10x this cat. And that’s saying something.

If you need a plumber, have any questions or just want to talk about muskrats named Tim, be sure to call or text us at 289-244-9843, because at Go Green Plumbing, we are always happy to help.

Can Bath Bombs Clog My Drain?

Firstly, I’ve missed you.  It’s been too long since my fingertips danced atop the plastic of these qwerty keys.  You’ve missed the exquisite word ballet of plumbing knowledge, too, haven’t you?  I don’t blame you as I’m sure you’ve learned more here amidst the glow of the Go Green Plumbing Blog than you ever did in all your years of school.  You’re welcome.  So–are you ready to learn about bath bombs or is your brain going to explode from all that previous plumbing knowledge?

Don’t you love the realism in commercials today?  My brain does this twice a day.  Usually it comes right back, but the odd time it lands on top of the fridge and taunts me.

1. These Bath Bombs Are Making Me Thirsty!

True fact: every bath bomb in the world is graced by the presence of Salt Bae himself.  He seasons each bomb with just the right amount of dat salt, it’s true!  The problem is, some of dat salt doesn’t dissolve.  It heads down your drain and grabs onto hair and everything else it can be friends with.  Then they all have a meeting together to discuss how to best clog your drain.  The hair can be a bit mouthy during said meeting.  Then they send in the plan for approval.  Then they apply for funding.  Then they bring in a focus group.  Then they tweak their plan.  The soap scum usually brings a unique perspective to said plan.  Then they submit for final approval.  And then, only then, do they clog your drain.  And they clog it well.  Actual truth: bath bombs are partially comprised of salt, that when undissolved, may clog your drain.  Why salt?  Welp, it gives it that trademark fizz that everyone loves so much.

Salt Bae looks kind of ‘different.’  ..maybe it’s just me.

2. Oil Clog Yo Drains

Next up on this science lesson is the fact that bath bombs are also comprised of oils.  And, as you know, oil isn’t allowed to travel down our drains.  This one time, I requested a passport, but it just ignored me, pretending it was an inanimate object that couldn’t speak.  Oil never try that again.   Anyways, just like the salt, dat oil clogs your drain as well.

Never let oil down your drain.  Even if it pretends to be Rowan Atkinson.  

3. Poop Bath Bombs

Bath bombs are sometimes filled with other poop stuff as well: flower petals, glitter, froot loops, gold, engagement rings.  If you can think it, it’s probably been made into a one-of-a-kind artisan bath bomb deep in the dark marketplace of Etsy.  So if the world of bath bombs is open to a world of ingredients, there has to be something we should do to protect our drains? Some sort of preventative measures?

Isn’t this the opposite of what you want floating in the bath with you?  At least this version dissolves.  Oh, but wait: then it’s e v e r y w h e r e.

4. Preventative Measures

Hey, you made it to the solutions section of the blog, welcome!  The number one priority in the universe of clog-free drains is ensuring that you have a tub stopper strainer.  Pop that bad boy in there and he’ll collect nearly everything you tell him before it takes a dirty dive into your drain.  Once a month clean out your drain because that bad boy strainer only catches nearly everything.  And finally, specific to bath bomb usage, place your bath bomb in a nylon stocking, then dunk it into your steamy oasis.  The stocking will act like a filter and a net, catching potential cloggers before they have a chance to wreak havoc on your drain.

The latest Jumanji flick reminded me of the greatness of Danny Devito.  Are these preventative measures genius?  Or is Danny DeVito genius?

5. Bath Bombs & Hot Tubs

Nope.

Just nope.

If you need a plumber, have any questions or just want to talk about Danny DeVito conducting business meetings in your drain in order to most efficiently clog it, be sure to call or text us at 289-244-9843, because at Go Green Plumbing, we are always happy to help.

The Impact of Hard Water on Your Home’s Plumbing System

Woah! Where did you come from? You’re beautiful. You’re like a freshly cleaned toilet, sparkling in an apocalyptic lavatory dumpster of smashed, soiled porcelain. Didn’t think you get such a compliment from a plumbing blog? Well, buckle in, because you’re about to go for a crazier ride than that time your grandpa accidentally attached his tow cable to your toilet and you smashed through the wall, hit the on-ramp at Lake Street, stopped at Starbucks for a cake pop + Grande Summer-Berry Lemonade Refresher (with light ice), caught a glimpse of a maple tree that looked quite dashing, only to stop dead in a Hacky Sack Rave featuring Post Malone, Stuart Skinner and your Grade 3 class that you miss oh so much (and everyone there has Post Malone’s face tattoos and Stuart Skinner’s moustache, obviously). To be fair, the toilet did look a lot like your grandpa’s tiny trailer and he was wearing drunk goggles instead of his everyday spectacles, plus he’s been eating his meds in his Froot Loops, and sometimes he pours in a 25 or 32 extras–so can you really blame him? We shouldn’t give him such a hard time anyways, because on top of this he’s been dealing with hard water in his house for as long as mullets have been around and glorifying our world.

At this point, we could naturally segue to talking about hard water or mullets–what do you choose? You choose mullets? Radical! But, you don’t get to decide things around here. So, hard water, here we go! Hard water is a common issue in many households, but its effects are often overlooked. Let’s take a moment to learn what it is, how it impacts your home and what you can do mitigate its effects and prolong the life of your plumbing system.

What is Hard Water?

Hard water is very similar to Hard Rock. If you were to take a Hard Rock band like AC/DC, and tell them, instead of playing Rock music turned up to 11, just play Water music and turn it up to 11, you would get Hard Water. Now you probably understand why many households deem this as an issue. Either that, or hard water contains high levels of dissolved minerals, primarily calcium and magnesium. That’s the boring answer, so it’s probably not true. But if it were true, then I’d have to tell you that those minerals accumulate in the water supply from natural sources such as limestone and chalk deposits. While hard water is not harmful to your health, it can cause a variety of problems in your home. Just like Nickelback, the leaders of the Hard Water music revolution. (Chad, get out my basement!)

Common Signs of Hard Water

Mineral Buildup on Fixtures: Do you cut your lips when use your faucet like a straw every night before bed? Those crusty mouth slicers are a clear sign of hard water. Wait–nobody uses their faucet like a straw? Alright, then neither do I. Can we still be friends?

Soap Scum: Looking for another reason to love hard water? When it hangs out with soap, they turn into those two people at your house, that NEVER.EVER.LEAVE. You can try everything, but they’re stuck there. Good luck. I mean, in both cases, intense scratching with the rough side of a sponge should work. In my experience, most people/soap scum don’t enjoy that.

Stiff Laundry: If your go-to texture for a sweater is cat tongue, then hard water is your best friend. And there’s no better feeling than getting out of the shower and drying your body with a towel made of bricks–that’s hard water at work!

Water Spots: I know you want to relive those glory days of high school–instead of embarrassing red spots on your face, hard water gives you embarrassing white spots on your glasses.

Reduced Water Flow: Showers are the best when they feel like you’re standing under a melting icicle, getting clean drop by drop. If you agree with this statement, your name is Har Dwotter. Stop reading my blog, Har.

Solutions for Dealing with Hard Water

1. Eviction Notice: You could write a beautiful letter, notifying Har Dwotter of eviction, then flush it down the toilet–because either a) that’s where Har Dwotter lives or b) it’s useless to try to communicate to water using letters–everyone knows morse code is the only way to go.
2. Water Softeners: Installing a water softener is one of the most effective ways to combat hard water. These systems work by replacing calcium and magnesium ions with sodium or potassium ions, effectively softening the water. It’s kind of like replacing all of your rock pillows in your house with actual pillows. Remind me next time we chat to ask why you’ve been using rock pillows.
3. Descaling Agents: In 1997, a masterpiece of film was released, known as Men In Black. Little did you know, it was based off of scale buildup due to hard water. The aliens are the mineral buildup, Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are the descaling agents, and New York City/planet earth are your appliances and fixtures. You caught me, I’m lying–but how neat would that be? I’ll tell you now, ‘a little bit neat.’
4. Vinegar Soaks: Everyone enjoys a good soak, even inanimate objects like showerheads named Timmeh and faucets named Lee Key (they’ve told me). Soaking them in vinegar can help dissolve mineral deposits and improve water flow.
5. Routine Maintenance: Regularly flushing your water heater and checking all over your house for signs of buildup can help maintain efficiency and prevent massive issues. Regularly flushing your toilet is a great idea, too. Otherwise, other stuff may build up–but we don’t need to get into that.

Later Y’all!

If you need a plumber, have any questions or just want to talk about zooming down the QEW on a toilet, be sure to call or text us at 289-244-9843, because at Go Green Plumbing, we are always happy to help.