firehose

fuckyeahdementia:

i’d like to buy a fish please

miles-eggworth:

when you accidentally type tis instead of its

fileformat:

2014

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pamupamu:

Monsters,Inc.

Qkung as James P. Sullivan / Sulley
Pam as Mike Wazowski
Nene as Boo

We Scare Because We Care.

q0rt:

chead:

diabsoule:

caseyanthonyofficial:

justcallmebooo:

caseyanthonyofficial:

Yeah sure let me just track sand over my entire house I mean are you serious can you imagine the mess what a catastrophically bad idea

shut up.

Not until whoever invented this is in jail

why the fuck bother having a rolling chair

This is the worst

[twitches horribly] oh god, oh god make the nightmare stop

LOOK I MEAN THIS IS JUST CLEARLY A GOOD IDEA TAKEN WAY TOO FAR WHY IS THE DEKS INVOLVED WHY IS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING ***COMPUTER TOWER IN THE SAND*** IT DOESN”T NEED THAT IT TIDNT” ASK FOR THIS

1) make a little tray like, I dunno, THE SIZE OF YOUR FEET, YOUR FEET DON’T NEED THAT MUCH ROOM this is how we end up with Johnny Huge Ballz taking up 3 seats on the subway, reign it in buddy

2) Next to the little sand foot rest, put a little tray of water. Get one of those plastic boot trays, that should be plenty. AGAIN: RESIST OVERKILL FOR FUCK’S SAKE

3) Put a lil towel down next to THAT

So your game goes

- Squirm your toesies in the sand while your work, I dont blame you

- Lift your sandy feets out of the tray, tap them lightly, then set them in the tray of water, give em a swish

- Lift your clean wet feet, tamp them on the towel, ta-da, clean sand-free feet

Obviously this doesn’t work if you have free-roaming pets or children. Also, I personally would be more into just a little moss bed, which would make way less mess, but eh, whatever.

MY POINT IS YOU CAN LIVE SOME VARIATION OF THIS DREAM AND KEEP YOUR MICHEL GONDRY-ESQUE “WHIMSY” WHILE PARTICIPATING IN A SOCIETY THAT IS SYSTEMICALLY DESTROYING YOUR LIFE AND THE LIVES OF ALMOST EVERY OTHER LIVING CREATURE ON THIS PLANET WITHOUT GETTING SAND ALL OVER YOUR STUFF.

Also I don’t like that t-shirt at ALL.

Gore, Mutilation, Bestiality, or Necrophilia. Don’t post gore just to be shocking. Don’t showcase the mutilation or torture of human beings, animals, or their remains. Dick.

My favorite bit from the User Agreement/Community Standards. 

Chuck Palahniuk’s highly anticipated comic-book sequel to Fight Club has moved one step closer to reality, with a little help from Matt Fraction. “The graphic novel ‘script’ for the Fight Club sequel has gone off to the writer Matt Fraction and to an unnamed publisher for review,” the author revealed to his official fan site. [...]

Last year, the Super Bowl national anthem ran long. The popular Super Bowl prop odds favor another long rendition with Renee Fleming doing the honors.

In a surprise move by the NFL, a well known pop star was not chosen to sing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl this year. Instead, professional opera singer Renee Fleming will sing the National Anthem, setting the total sky high at two minutes and 25 seconds.

Four of the last six performances of the National Anthem at the Super Bowl went under two minutes, including Christina Aguilera's infamous performance in which she omitted an entire line of the song.

[ See Super Bowl national anthem prop results since Super Bowl 40 ]

Jennifer Hudson's performance at Super Bowl 43 took 2:10 to complete while Alicia Keys took 2:35 to get through the song last year in one of the most popular pregame Super Bowl betting odds.

What makes this year's total so interesting is the unknown factor of the singer. While most popular artists here have plenty of performances of the National Anthem on YouTube to research, Renee Fleming does not.

Needless to say, a professional opera singer has the voice and range to stretch the song out for as long as she chooses.

Will Fleming use the Super Bowl stage to show off her opera endurance or will she be instructed to sing the National Anthem in a timely fashion? Prop bettors with a hunch should bet on the Over or Under 2:25 accordingly.

Looking for more Super Bowl props and current lines on the Broncos vs Seahawks? Check out the SBNation odds section.

LOS ANGELES—Saying that he has always tried to balance his workload between projects that appeal to him as an actor and those with broader commercial appeal, film star Aaron Eckhart told Hollywood reporters today that he likes to alternate between m...

Vaccination rates are up and have been for awhile. The public is more convinced than ever of the importance of vaccines. So, why are we hearing so much about the anti-vaccine movement? A new study delves into why — and what we can do about it.

Read more...

Moscow-based artist Santani creates amazingly cute and realistic dolls like Inari Foxes, Sowls, and My Little Dragons. You can find more of the cute creations at Santani’s deviantART gallery, but you probably shouldn’t get them wet or feed them after midnight. According to Santani’s Workshop on VK, the dolls are only being sold at their showroom in Moscow.

via The Meta Picture, Neatorama

Link

Capt.Albatross writes "At Slate, Chris Kirk presents a map of schools in the USA that both receive public funding and teach creationism. It also shows public schools in those states where they are allowed to teach creationism (without necessarily implying that creationism is taught in all public schools of those states). There is a brief outline of the regulations in those states where this occurs, but the amounts involved are not discussed."

Read more of this story at Slashdot.

	Courtney shared this story from The ToastThe Toast:
	Once Darius mentioned that whenever someone said "touch base" he visualized two people touching the bases of their penises together, I started doing it, and now meetings are a lot funnier.

---

“Let’s make sure that our bases will touch. I will touch your base to my base.”

“Together, we will all circle back. The circle will be mandatory, and it will never end.”

“At the end of the day, it is night, and we are alone in the dark.”

“We have no skin in this game. All of our skin is elsewhere. There can be no skin in the Skinless Games under penalty of flaying.”

“You are the Thought Leader; you must lead our thoughts.”

“I will reach out to you. Let me reach out to you. You cannot keep me from reaching you. We will all reach out to you, and we will touch your base.”

“It is what it is. All things are as they are; nothing can change now. All things same, no things new.”

“We must do that going forward. We cannot look back. We cannot go back. We must go forward, all together; looking back will destroy us. Do not look behind you.”

“You must never go where the rubber meets the road. Your death crouches for you there, whispering your name through its jaws.”

“Soon the COB will come. The Close of Business will be here. We must prepare; we must prepare. There will be no business after the Closing.”

Read more Horrifying Business Cliches We’re All Tired and Terrified Of Hearing at The Toast.

Opera singer Amy Herbst is suing after surgery that took place while she was giving birth left her with chronic flatulence.

Economic Times

Gov't, Internet companies reach deal on disclosure Philly.com WASHINGTON (AP) - Technology companies and privacy advocates are praising a new government compromise that will allow the Internet's leading companies to disclose more information about how often they are ordered to turn over customer information ... US, tech companies reach deal on spying data - Justice DeptCNBC.com all 307 news articles »

Wall Street Journal

Apple posts record revenue in 1st quarter, but iPhone sales disappoint Los Angeles Times Apple Inc.'s experiment with rolling out two new iPhones at the same time backfired as weak demand for the cheaper version with a plastic case led the company to sell fewer smartphones than expected during the holiday quarter. Although Apple on Monday ... Shares in Apple's Japan suppliers stumble over iPhone salesReuters Cook admits Apple blew the call on the iPhone 5CComputerworld Sales of iPhones Set Record for Quarter: 51 MillionNew York Times ValueWalk -Sky News Australia -Wall Street Journal all 530 news articles »

I pride myself in the accuracy of my reporting. I can point to spot-on, anonymously-sourced stories about unreleased gaming hardware or, say, this one about the then-unannounced Titanfall. When I have to use anonymous stories for a story I think is unusually important—such as whether the then-upcoming Xbox One is going to require an Internet connection to start games—I'll do so with as much multiple sourcing and transparency about the sources' identities as possible. I'll check and double-check, as will all my reporters. You can assume our anonymous sources are good (you've even heard of some of them, I bet), and you can rest assured that a slip like Friday's is something I personally will do my best to ensure never happens again. I can't remember a similar situation with my work in the last decade and hope there will be another decade before it happens again. Everyone makes mistakes, but I don't have to be ok with that.

How can one characterize the post-PC age? This graph of the growth of iPad sales, created by mobile analyst Horace Dediu, compared to relatively stagnant growth in sales of Apple’s Macintosh personal computers, shows that when someone wants an internet-connected device that can perform everyday computing functions, increasingly that device is a tablet. Apple just released its earnings, and while the company missed expectations on iPhone sales, it sold more iPads than expected—26 million versus 24 million. Quartz’s Zach Seward has taken to grouping all of these devices—including the large phones that are a segment of the tablet market—under the term “glass-covered internet machines.”

At this point, it’s worth asking whether or not we’re living in a post-PC age, or whether “personal computer” simply means “tablet and anything else with a 7″ or “bigger screen, keyboard optional.”

Arisia is a convention with a harassment policy. So what happened when a woman quite reasonably felt she was harassed, and complained to convention about it? Why, it was handled quickly and efficiently, of course, because there was a process in place to handle it, and that process was followed.

Read about the event here.

Shira Lipkin has further thoughts here.

Good on Arisia for being a convention where someone who felt they were being harassed knew how, and felt comfortable with, reporting the event.