Screenshot: vom Wilzenberg
The world wide web has given us things like instant messaging, tentacle porn, internet banking, cyber stalking, and cats—all of which have been written about a lot. Weirdly though, there's one thing that has been grossly overlooked: German cat breeder websites.
Most people think that it is companies like Apple who shape our understanding of design nowadays, yet there are thousands of dedicated housewives and other types of animal lovers out there tirelessly working to challenge our sense of aesthetics and redefine the notion of "beauty."
What follows is a symphony of forms and furs that can’t be matched.
Image via Fairy Cakes
FAIRY CAKES
What immediately strikes you here is the extraordinary composition of the image. A sleepy, somewhat sad looking fairy is emitting a ray of light that ends on a cat in a flower hat. The cat seems to be in a really good mood. She’s unpacking a present—but for who? Her contemplative gaze reaches out into the distance. She seems to be content, full of inner peace.
The cat with the pearl necklace also seems peaceful and well-balanced. 'Fairy Cakes' is a place full of foaming cupcakes and love.
Image via vom Jägerswald
VOM JAEGERSWALD
Spirits in the 'vom Jägerswald' [of the Hunter’s Wood] cattery are noticeably more inflamed. One cat all but accusingly looks directly into the camera, while the others' gazes are wildly scattered throughout the forest landscape.
A legless bust of a stag appears out of nowhere, somehow recalling images of Lars von Trier’s Antichrist. You almost don’t dare to take your eyes off this atmospheric backdrop. So many questions remain unanswered—I guess the only way to have them answered is a visit to the Birman cat breeder.
Image via von den Silberfeen
VON DEN SILBERFEEN
Glitter, fairies, clouds and pastel tones. The 'von den Silberfeen' [of the Silver Fairies] cattery abides by the unwritten laws of the cat breeder game and presents the fluffy offspring as what they are: babies that only deserve the best. The white cat on the left affects a somewhat psychotic look. But the same could be said of you when you open your eyes a little wider to look cute in selfies.
Image via von den Mooswiesen
VON DEN MOOSWIESEN
I'll be honest with you—this website is my absolute favorite and not just because of the minimalist design that eschews animation, moving text, and any presence of fairies. What I like the most about it is the super grouchy facial expression of this nasty puss that’s about to eat the tiny, absurdly spotted bunny in the left corner.
The only thing keeping me from setting the homepage of Mooswiesen [Mossy Meadows] as my desktop background is the fear of being locked up for being slightly cuckoo.
Image via Juraperlen
JURAPERLEN
Yoga for the eyes—everything on the screen symbolizes harmony. The abundance of crystal balls and delicate flower petals refers to the precious fragility of the British Shorthairs on sale.
These two kittens are as pure as the white roses surrounding them. They’re unbelievably plush and fucking happy about the pearl necklaces they’re wearing.
Image via from Gloryhill
FROM GLORYHILL
Whether you like these forever-shedding fur balls or not, there’s one thing you can’t deny about cats: Even when shit's running down their tails, they are able to maintain a certain sense of dignity.
'From Gloryhill' takes advantage of their grandeur, setting their British Longhairs in Greece—the birthplace of democracy. And pairs them with a very colorful bird.
Image via vom Halterner See
VOM HALTERNER SEE
While many cat breeders use delicate rosé and terra-cotta tones to communicate cuddliness, the 'vom Halterner See' [of the Halterner Lake] cattery works with the jovial hues of sun, sea and beach. You can almost hear the Caribbean music in the background, while the kitties in heart-shaped sunglasses stare directly into your soul, purring “Buy me!” An advertising concept so brilliant, I doubt Don Draper could have thought it up.
Image via vom Winde verweht
VOM WINDE VERWEHT
A lot of catteries employ slogans in an attempt to stand out from their competitors. Few do it with this kind of panache: 'Vom Winde verweht' [Gone with the Wind] orients itself with the 1930s Hollywood classic of the same name.
That’s why you feel emotionally involved immediately after noticing the little cat on the right pulling the drapes shut, to conceal the view of the plantation house. This deeply romantic motif is present throughout the website. The cursor, for instance, leaves behind a trail of sparks as you browse your way through a way of life that's now become extinct.
Image via vom Dellwiger Schloß
VOM DELWWIGER SLOSS
As other websites spend their efforts on making their animals look as innocent and lovable as possible, 'vom Dellwiger Schloß' [of the Dellwiger Palace] offers a much more realistic, unembellished look at what cats really are: fluffy egomaniacs that force you to surrender all of your love and couch space.
Image via of little Buddha
OF LITTLE BUDDHA
Cats are the Shaolin of the animal kingdom: fast, silent and… whatever, it somehow makes sense to bring up the obvious connection between cats and the monastic culture of the Far East. There’s a ton to discover on the homepage of the 'of little Buddha' cattery. Make sure you don’t miss the animated hummingbird!
Would I buy my cat here if I liked cats at all? Maybe.
Overshadowed by its popular brethren, 
After watching this masterpiece, you'll never look at the streets the same way again. Cheers, Jordan, this offering to the Skate Gods is an instant classic.
