Enure01

Air vs. Water

Nutella is great and all, but sometimes it would be nice to be able to get drunk on your breakfast toast. That's why spreadable beer is so important. The delicious concoction combines Napoleone chocolate spread with delicious, delicious beer in both light and dark varieties.

Link Via The Consumerist

Illinois –  Cochinita Pibil Torta from Xoco – Wood-roasted suckling pig with achiote, black beans, pickled onion, habanero

Massachusetts – Chipotle Pastrami from Sam LaGrassa – Rumanian Pastrami with chipotle honey mustard, swiss cheese and cole slaw grilled on an Italian sesame roll

New Jersey – Famous In-Between Triple Decker from Harold’s - Choice of corned beef, pastrami, brisket or combination in between three potato pancakes, served with a side of applesauce

New York – Super Heebster from Russ and Daughters Whitefish & baked salmon salad with horseradish dill cream cheese and wasabi flying fish roe on a bagel

Pennsylvania – Roast Pork from Tommy DiNiC’s – Thinly sliced pork, broccoli rabe and extra-sharp provolone on a roll with a splash of gravy

Best Sandwiches Of Every State – Full List

So here’s the supposed Best Sandwiches from every state in the Barstool Network (plus New Jersey.) Pretty weird fucking sandwiches if you ask me. First of all, I’m utterly shocked NYC isn’t one of those giant Pastrami sandwiches from some Jewish deli like Katz or something. I thought for sure one of those stupid sandwiches would have been New York’s number 1. But, a sandwich named the “Super Heebster” is probably a pretty accurate portrayal of New York sandwiches too. See, because there are a lot of Jews. That sandwich sounds fucking disgusting. Fish and cream cheese and shit? No fucking thanks. Personally, my favorite sandwich is a chicken cutlet sandwich. I don’t really have a specific deli or specific cutlet sandwich since most of the Manhattan delis are like Katz or Sables and they just love the Jew sandwiches. I don’t really have a go-to Italian deli in Manhattan. So Generically speaking, chicken cutlet is my shit. On a roll with mozz, hot peppers, balsamic. On a roll with melted muenster cheese and mayo. On a roll with american cheese, bacon, lettuce tomato and mayo. Any of those variations is my favorite sandwich ever. If I have to pick a specific sandwich from a specific deli, I suppose I’d go with Defontes. Italian Stallion – prosciutto, fresh mozz, fried eggplant, roasted peppers. Or the Hot Roast Beef - roast beef, fresh mozzarella, fried eggplant, natural jus

As for the others – I know Philly loves the roast pork sandwich. And I’m sure its delicious. I’m not a big broccoli rabe fan but I can most certainly get down with some thinly sliced pork practically melting on the sandwich and some sharp provolone. But lets not try to reinvent the wheel here. Lets not try to boil the ocean. The best sandwich that represents Pennsylvania is the Cheesesteak. Don’t get cute with it. We can debate which cheesesteak from which place is the best until the cows come home – but in its most basic form the Cheesesteak needs to represent Pennsylvania.

Massachusetts’ sandwich is a goddam disaster. Pastrami and cole slaw? With honey mustard? Goodness gracious get the fuck out of here. I don’t know what else Massachusetts does well as far as sandwiches go, but there has to be something better than that.

Illinois I can get down with. Kinda like a pulled pork sandwich with some habanero? I got not beef with that.

And the reason I included New Jersey is because A) That 3 foot tall sandwich is fucking retarded and B) The best sandwich on the planet earth is in New Jersey. At Fiore’s in Hoboken. The best mozzarella cheese you will ever eat. Go on Saturdays and get the roast beef/mozzarella special with the gravy au jus on a long ass fresh, soft hero. Its the best sandwich you’ll ever eat. Its not cheap and the line on the weekend goes out the door, but its worth every minute and every penny. The mozzarella is so legit I used to just get an entire sandwich of mozzarella and hot peppers. Just hands down the best sandwich I’ve ever eaten.

(Photo: Canada Tourism)

This requires a bit of explanation.

There's a bar in Dawson City, Yukon, Canada that has--or had--a preserved human toe. Since 1973, for a fee, drinkers could sip their whiskey with the toe inside. Because Canada.

Then, last week, one bar-goer swallowed the toe:

Terry Lee, the bar’s “Toe Captain,” said that on Saturday night, an American patron, who had drunk the cocktail before, decided to ingest it this time.

Mr. Lee said the customer was a card-carrying member of the Sourtoe Cocktail Club, a distinction given to each person who tries the drink. To gain full membership, people agree to abide by the club rules, including a $500 fine if the toe is ingested. He said the patron drank the cocktail, swallowed the toe, put the money on the table and left. “He just wanted bragging rights, that’s what he wanted,” Mr. Lee said, adding the patron deliberately swallowed the toe.

To be fair, he abided by the rules. Anyway, there's no need to worry because the bar has a large supply of severed human toes. Terry Lee, the owner, explained:

He said the bar receives toes through donations: either people who have lost toes in accidents or through illness, or have stipulated in their wills that they want a toe or toes donated to the bar.

Link -via Nag on the Lake

Simple.  Short.  To the point.  Chick got trucksticked by a dumpster.  End of blog.

NY Post – Early Saturday morning, hordes of 20-somethings began lining up for one of New York’s most coveted culinary creations. They passed the three-plus-hour wait with smartphones in one hand and iced coffees in the other. Some napped, curled on the ground, while others stood with friends, foggily recalling the previous night’s adventures. The foodie throngs weren’t hungrily waiting for a Cronut on Spring Street. They were lined up on the Williamsburg waterfront, ravenous for New York’s newest culinary craze: the Ramen Burger. A Japanese-American mash-up, the fad food of the millisecond features a hamburger patty sandwiched between two discs of compressed ramen noodles in lieu of a traditional bun. To date, it’s only been available on three occasions — the past few Saturdays at Brooklyn’s Smorgasburg food market — and each time, it’s sold out in just a few hours.  It’s definitely crazy!” says Keizo Shimamoto, 35, the creator of the Ramen Burger and a former computer programmer who quit his day job in 2009 to devote himself to ramen and blog about it at GoRamen.com. “I didn’t expect it to be this popular.” By the time Smorgasburg opened at 11 a.m. last Saturday, more than 100 people stood waiting, some having lined up as early as 7:45 a.m. Shimamoto sold out of the 300 burgers he had on hand in a matter of hours, leaving dozens waiting on line to go without. To make sure she wasn’t one of those left hungry, Danielle Cheng, a 21-year-old student from Staten Island, spent last Friday night at a friend’s apartment in Manhattan to cut down on her morning travel time. “I don’t really have high expectations,” she admits, “but this is kind of like the new Cronut, and I want to experience it first.”

THE BUN

Two discs of compressed noodles from Sun Noodle, a New Jersey company that supplies many of the city’s top ramen joints, surround the patty. Shimamoto parboils the noodles al dente, then uses a secret “proprietary process” to form them into a patty. At Smorgasburg, the noodle “buns” are cooked on a griddle with a squirt of sesame oil. The final texture is chewy, not crunchy.

SECRET SAUCE

After being griddled, the beef is lacquered with a shoyu ramen sauce. While chef Keizo Shimamoto won’t reveal exactly what’s in it, he says it’s soy sauce-based and cooked down “for hours.” Shoyu ramen broth also traditionally contains garlic, ginger, scallions and dashi fish stock.

ARUGULA

Shimamoto says he picked the fancy greens because he wanted to contrast an “American gourmet ingredient” against the Asian elements.

SCALLIONS

A sprinkle adds a nice crunch and a welcome counter-bite to the greasy burger and salty sauce.

THE BEEF

A smaller-than-expected (just ¼ pound), 100 percent chuck beef patty is sourced from Burger Maker in Carlstadt, NJ. It’s 25 percent fat, making for a very juicy — and messy — burger that’s barely contained by its paper wrapper. No wonder it comes with a generous side of napkins.

So lets get this straight. You want a shitty quarter pound burger in between some poor people noodles? And you’re willing to wait 3 hours on line at 7 in the morning for it? Fucking New York foodies. The absolute worst. I mean everyone in this world knows I’m not the type to make my own food and serve myself and shit. I pay other people to do that and have Mexicans on motorized bikes bring it to me. But if 300 people wanna line up outside my apartment and pay me 8 bucks a piece for a shitty burger and some Cup O’ Noodles, consider me in fucking business bro. I can cook these things just as good as the next idiot and make like 7 dollars profit every burger.

And this guy can give me a break with the “proprietary process” to turn the noodles into buns. There is a 500% chance this thing falls apart the second you take a bite. I thought the Cronut craze was stupid but this takes it to another level. Straight up poor people food and people are traveling everywhere and sleeping outside for it and shit. Hipster Foodies might be the most dramatic assholes on the planet.

PS – The fact that nobody out there has jumped on my Waffalo idea and turned that into a new hysteria-filled crazy is insane. Yea, that one place in Jersey made it, but I hear they already stopped serving it. If some food truck or food festival introduced the Waffalo it would be the same sort of dramatics as with the cronut and ramen burger.

Sayings 2.1

Listen I’d be lyin if I said I havent gotten in road rage battles on the turnpike that could have resulted in this same situation. The Turnpike is where I’ve done some of my greatest battles on the road. And trying to maneuver through the toll booth traffic can be the most competitive, heated part of it all. There’s always one asshole bobbing and weaving in and out thinking if they get one car ahead that it makes a difference. Fuck those people. So then I start being a dickhead back. Boxing them out and trying to stop them from cutting in. Only difference is its usually 2 guys driving and one of us realizes when we need to bail out before we’re sandwiched in the fucking toll booth.

The State Trooper. The backwoods hick with the dirt bike in the back bed. The women drivers. Its Jersey and women, all in one shot.

Liquid Lapdance undergarments are "special pants" — "the best strip club invention since the pole" — that make lap dances feel "exactly like sex" for men. The founders are so confident that dudes will be satisfied with/in their product that they offer refunds to those who don't orgasm in their Liquid Lapdance lap dance pants.

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An unnamed fisherman in Gippsland, Victoria, Australia, caught a really big shark. In order to have a trophy photo that would stand out from the others, he gutted the shark and crawled inside for the photo you see here. A friend put the picture on the wall of the Metung Hotel. John Burns talked about it on his 3AW radio show.

"This fellow has decided as a jape to climb inside the shark with a knife, put his hand through the gills of the shark and pretended to stab it between the eyes," Mr Burns said on 3AW this morning, before telling listeners about the reaction of an American couple who saw the picture at the Metung Hotel.

"An American couple have turned up at the Metung Hotel to see this photo and their immediate response from the wife was 'Did he survive!?'."

The fisherman was standing right behind her at the time. Presumably, his answer was "yes".

Link -via Boing Boing

And the answer is Kate Dobrenko. A-MAZING. I feel like we are on an absolute roll discovering chicks who are too hot to be real life. This video of Kate is electric. Sure the video is NSFW but I don’t give a fuck. If your boss gets mad at you for busting a nut in the middle of your cube watching this video then your boss is a gayball plain and simple.  I mean she’s only  the sexiest chick I’ve ever seen in my life since yesterday.   Holy shit god is great.

Vid Is NSFW BUT SO AMERICA IT HURTS

Kate Dobrenko by Said Energizer from said_energizer on Vimeo.

I have absolutely no idea what’s going on in this video. All I know is that a bunch of people are beating the shit out of each other and it’s awesome. I mean what more could you ask for in a fight? Chicks going at it, flying karate kicks, old ladies getting punched in the face, a dog running around regulating shit, dudes bleeding all over themselves. Oh and an absolutely killer Eye Of The Tiger soundtrack with hilarious fake punch noises and Street Fighter sounds. Seriously, whoever was doing the audio on this thing deserves an Oscar or whatever the random Youtube equivalent of an Oscar is. Just A+ work top to bottom.

Yes, this is just a dumb commercial for DirecTV and NFL Sunday Ticket. But it also features Eli Manning crooning, "It's like I spilled milk all over your blouse by accident (or on purpose)/It's like the milk is like football, and the blouse is your phone." The Mannings just do not give a fuck, and we respect that.

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Here's how Redskins quarterback Kirk Cousins and tackle Tom Compton decided to celebrate their team's first touchdown of the preseason. Hurray for football and friendship!

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The Serengeti Lion and the Robot

This skit features Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso, an American football coach hired to manage Tottenham Hotspur in England. Look at all the differences! It's a dumb premise, but the jokes are legitimately funny. Who knew so many football clubs were just like the Dallas Cowboys?

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Americans who want to entertain the risk of possibly getting gored by a bull won't have to travel all the way to Pamplona, Spain anymore. They can now brush with death in their own country!

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