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Oh ... well ... hi there little partners! Well ... couple of technical problems down here but, well, that's ok. Because it's time for this week's exciting episode of Trail of the Royal Mounted! #CowboyWho

Texans from Waco to Harlingen are raising concerns over how much energy and water data centers are poised to use. Local officials, some enticed by a tax boon, say they have little power to stop the rush.

In case you haven’t heard the news, Alamo Drafthouse unexpectedly closed its remaining Houston location last week. The theater, which opened in 2018 in La Centerra, was our newest Alamo Drafthouse, but it certainly wasn’t our first. Alamo Drafthouse has a storied history with Houston. Years of plans to take over our market never materialized, and in the end, it seems that Houston may have been just a bit too much for the theater to ...

It’s Valentine’s Day on Saturday so let’s talk about workplace romance. Did you spot coworkers having a secret affair without realizing how obvious they were being? Did your boss date your dad and try to get you to go to couples therapy with them? Did you spend a ton of time mediating between two employees who hated each other and then they ended up dating? Was your coworker always making out with his girlfriend at work? Did your colleague leave a rambling, drunken message for his secret office girlfriend — but accidentally leave it on the boss’s voicemail instead?

Let’s discuss workplace romance gone both wrong and right.

Read a round-up of some of my favorite stories from this post.

The post let’s discuss workplace romance gone wrong … and right appeared first on Ask a Manager.

Over the years, we’ve had many letters about animals at work. Here are some of them.

my employee doesn’t think we’re doing enough about bears at work (and the update)

people only ask me about the ducks I work with (with a video in the update!)

the pumpkin-eating cat

my office got us turtles to take care of and bring home on weekends

my office is infested with wasps

our building is full of bats, sewer smells, moths, and more

an unexpected office bird

how much can I pet my cat on video calls? (and the update)

my colleague is allergic to me because of my cats

actual llamas

head of HR is waging a pressure campaign to make me adopt a puppy

my VP of HR says my service dog is too small (and the update)

I bring my dog to work — but an anonymous note asked me not to

my company wants to sponsor me for a service dog, but I’m not sure I should accept (and the update)

my boss’s dog rampages through our work gatherings

the secret goat, the geese vs the CEO, and other stories of animals at work

here are animals taking over home offices

here are your animal coworkers (and part 2)

the cats of AAM

And we’ve had so many letters involving dogs at work (not all included above) that I created a whole new tag just for them.

The post animals at work appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…

1. A medical tech repeatedly proselytized to me

An experience I had recently with a medical provider has me wondering if what I felt to be inappropriate and unprofessional is a behavior worth raising with my doctor, who owns the practice.

I live in area of the south where most people assume that everyone is Christian and believes in God — the kind of place where wishing someone “Happy Holidays” is likely to result in a tonally aggressive reply of “Merry Christmas.” Usually I let religious speak in various businesses just roll off me.

I recently underwent TMS treatment for chronic, major depression. As part of that, I received 36 treatments that required me to go to my psychiatrist’s office every weekday for five-minute sessions with one of the techs. Early in the treatment, the tech would reference God and how he helped her, and I just let it ride and wouldn’t engage. But by the final two weeks, she escalated to asking me about my own beliefs. I eventually told her I’m not religious. She spent the next few sessions telling me that if I would just let God into my life, that would make all the difference. I expressed discomfort with the topic (clearly and directly), but she persisted.

So my question is whether this is worth mentioning to the psychiatrist on my next visit. This is most definitely not a religiously-affiliated practice. Part of me feels terrible about the idea of getting her in trouble. I do believe she meant well. Plus, I have to go to the office every few months and will likely encounter her as she is in the front office when not administering treatments. So that could be awkward. But I’m also highly annoyed that I was repeatedly proselytized to while essentially a captive audience. What do you think? Would you want this behavior reported to you if it were your employee?

Without any doubt whatsoever, I would strongly want to know about it! In fact, I would be horrified if I found out this had been going on and no one had told me. Hopefully your doctor feels the same way.

The tech is representing the medical practice and the doctor; she’s not there to proselytize, and you’re not there to be proselytized to. It would be wildly inappropriate under any circumstances, but the fact that she persisted after you asked her to stop makes it even worse.

Tell your doctor what happened. Say it was frequent and persistent, and she didn’t stop after you asked her to, and say that you don’t come there to be proselytized at.

2. My boss thinks our obnoxious, racist coworker is funny

My workplace has become increasingly toxic due to poor management and enabling of inappropriate behavior. Our manager is a bully who operates by singling out team members while cultivating favorites and gossiping about colleagues. Her current favorite is Ryan, a 25-year-old man in his first professional role who has been with the team for two years. While Ryan is fundamentally a nice person, he lacks professional maturity. The rest of the team consists of women at least twice his age, some of whom actively encourage his behavior because they want to be in his good graces.

Because Ryan is protected by our manager, he faces no consequences for increasingly disruptive behavior:
* Constant crude humor (fart jokes throughout the day)
* Physical pranks (lowering colleagues’ chairs while they’re working)
* Graphic discussions of his sex life
* Showing explicit images to female colleagues
* Making racist and anti-immigrant comments

When I’ve tried to address this, some colleagues tell me I’m being “uptight” and that he “improves the vibe.” Our manager witnesses much of this behavior and either laughs along or gives him minimal warnings. I’m concerned that making a formal complaint will result in workplace retaliation, both from the manager and from colleagues who see Ryan as popular.

How can I professionally address his behavior without isolating myself or becoming a target?

How’s your HR? Ideally you’d report what’s happening to HR (meaning both Ryan and your manager) and specifically say that you’re concerned about retaliation from your manager and coworkers for reporting it, and ask them to take clear steps to ensure that doesn’t happen. Legally, they’re obligated to do that; permitting a manager to retaliate against an employee for making a good-faith report of harassment or discrimination is illegal — and employment lawyers will tell you that retaliation can be a lot easier to prove than harassment or discrimination is. But companies break the law in this area all the time, so you’d want to have some idea of how your company’s HR handles things.

If HR isn’t an option, the other option is to call it out in the moment and not be deterred by coworkers saying you’re too uptight. Sample language:
* “I don’t want to hear about your sex life. Please stop talking about it.”
* “Don’t use language like that around me.”
* “That’s an awful thing to say.”
* “You could hurt someone doing that, and you’re putting the company at legal risk.”
* “If you show me photos like that again, I’ll ask HR to tell you to stop.”
* “This is getting really boring.”

But there’s no way to push back on Ryan that guarantees you won’t become a target yourself, particularly with the sort of manager you described. Can you work on getting out of there?

For what it’s worth, I’m pretty skeptical that Ryan is a nice person.

Related:
how to deal with a racist coworker
is it worth going to HR about a bad manager?

3. When the reference-checker is an employee I fired

At a former job, two employees on my team were Philip and Elizabeth. Elizabeth’s work was okay, but she was a toxic personality and I ended up terminating her employment. (There is of course more to this story but it isn’t relevant to my question.) Philip and Elizabeth were peers and I believe got on fine. Philip was a great employee. He and I have since also both left for other companies.

Philip reached out asking me to be a reference for a new job, and I am very happy to do so. However I just heard from the recruiter with his potential new employer and the person they want to set me up to talk about Philip with is Elizabeth, who now works there. I fired her not quite two years ago, and I absolutely do not want to talk to her. Nor can I imagine she’d want to talk to me. And I don’t want to harm Philip’s chances. He knows I fired Elizabeth but not any specifics.

What do I do? I’m leaning toward telling the recruiter I’m happy to recommend Philip but Elizabeth and I have a negative history. But obviously this employer must like Elizabeth so I’m concerned anything I say will reflect badly on Philip. Tell Philip he should find another reference? Help!

I agree with your instincts! Tell the recruiter that you enthusiastically recommend Philip but that you have a complicated history with Elizabeth, having worked together in the past, and so you wonder if there’s someone else there who you could offer the reference to instead.

If the recruiter says Elizabeth is the only option — well, ideally you’d suck it up and do it … but if you think that’s likely to harm Philip’s chances, then at that point you should lay it out for him and ask how he’d like to handle it. Sample language for that: “I’m happy to give anyone who asks a glowing reference for you but, between the two of us, there’s some tension between Elizabeth and me, and I don’t want that to hurt your chances at this job. Would you like me to go ahead and talk to her, or would you rather give them someone else to speak to?”

4. Does “don’t take a counteroffer” apply when both offers are internal?

I really appreciated the post that gathered all of your advice on counter offers together in one place! I’ve been curious whether your advice changes when the second offer is an internal one?

How do you approach things when you’ve been holding out for and/or been promised a promotion or a new role
that’s taking forever to materialize — but accepting an interview (or getting an offer, keep your fingers crossed for me!) in another department gets your current leader to make the dangled promised position materialize? Do the same principles apply as when it’s two companies vying for you?

A lot of the same principles apply: you still want to ask yourself why it took you being ready to leave for your manager to get it together for you, and whether it’ll be a similar battle to get other things you’ve earned in the future. And the same caveats apply about making sure they’re really going to follow through on their promises, not resume dragging their feet once the immediate crisis of you leaving is averted. The piece that can be different is that your company is less likely to see you as “disloyal” (a ridiculous concept regardless) — but you should weight the other factors pretty heavily.

The post my boss thinks our obnoxious coworker is funny, medical tech proselytized to me, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

They do more before 9 in the morning than most monsters do all day.

Now I want her more than ever!

FORT MYERS, FL—Arriving in their nicest cleats, freshly oiled gloves, and carefully applied eye black in hopes of dazzling their coaches and peers, Major League Baseball pitchers and catchers reported to the annual Spring Training Dance Friday, marking the official return of baseball ahead of full-squad workouts later this month. Witnesses confirmed players filed into the gymnasium with a mix of nerves and excitement, sipping Gatorade from champagne flutes beneath a large, glittering baseball that rotated above the dance floor while DJ-commissioner Rob Manfred played classic stadium tunes like “DE-FENSE” and “Mexican Hat Dance” to set the mood. Several reports indicated that players initially mingled in familiar groups on opposite ends of the gym, with giggly pitchers exchanging bashful glances across the room at catchers, who responded by coyly flashing pitch signs and blushing beneath their masks. The vibe in the room eased, witnesses confirmed, when the lights dimmed and the ceremonial first dance began. Red Sox southpaw Garrett Crochet and Orioles catcher Adley Rutschman reportedly met in the middle of the room for a slow waltz set to “Take Me Out To The Ball Game,” prompting the rest of the players to join them. Umpires served as dutiful chaperones as players cut loose, with pitchers performing elaborate windups to the music and catchers maintaining their squatting posture while waddling around in slow, rhythmic steps. As the evening concluded, sources said, players gathered and waited with bated breath for the announcement of the Spring Training Dance MVP, the crown ultimately being awarded to Phillies catcher J.T. Realmuto. According to sources, the event then concluded with players sitting down and doing cooldown stretches before being ordered to return to their hotel rooms to ice, hydrate, and unwind from a magical night on the dance floor.

The post Pitchers And Catchers Report To Spring Training Dance appeared first on The Onion.

TrumpRx has officially launched. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the new government website. 

Q: What is TrumpRx?

A: A strange line item you’ll see pop up on your credit card bill 15 times in a row.

Q: What kinds of prescriptions can I get through TrumpRx?

A: TrumpRx offers low-cost access to medications manufactured by companies that have pledged not to hire any more Black people.

Q: What companies did not agree to participate?

A: Those now under investigation by the FDA.

Q: Who benefits from TrumpRx?

A: Conservative relatives grasping for talking points.

Q: Is this a new service?

A: No, it was renamed from Dwight D. Eisenhower’s Discount Pill Emporium.

Q: What standards do meds have to meet?

A: All pills must be FDA-approved and certified as 100% USDA Prime Beef.

The post What To Know About TrumpRx appeared first on The Onion.

LEAWOOD, KS—Struggling to contain his shock and amazement Friday when he recognized a familiar face on TV, Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce reportedly yelled to his fiancée, Taylor Swift, “Yo! Taylor! Have you seen this shit?” after happening upon a Lena Dunham sex scene for the first time. “You gotta see this. This is that girl you know! Right? I swear it looks exactly like her but with different hair,” the 11-time Pro Bowler said as he hurriedly rewound through a sex scene that had just occurred between Lena Dunham and Patrick Wilson in the HBO dramedy Girls, urging Swift to “come quick” to verify whether the nude woman on the screen was indeed her friend. “It’s Linda or whatever, isn’t it? I thought she looked super familiar, but I was like, ‘Nah, there’s no way that’s her.’ Damn, she’s crazy for this shit!” At press time, sources confirmed Kelce opted to change the channel only to later shout for Swift in disbelief yet again after making it halfway through a viewing of Tiny Furniture.

The post ‘Yo! Taylor! Have You Seen This Shit?’ Yells Travis Kelce, Watching Lena Dunham Sex Scenes For First Time appeared first on The Onion.

The bride (tacky) and groom (cheapskate) had a fucking cash bar at their reception.

The post Wendy Tomalin and Lee Epsley appeared first on The Onion.

The post Kid Rock Sells Entire Music Catalog For Extra-Large Bucket Of Cheese Balls appeared first on The Onion.

The post ‘I Don’t Know How And It’s Not My Event’: Simone Biles On Her Decision Not To Snowboard At The Winter Olympics appeared first on The Onion.

DETROIT, MI – Billionaire Matthew Moroun, whose family recently lobbied the Trump administration to publicly threaten the Gordie Howe International Bridge which competes with their interests, has praised the ease of use of President Trump’s new EZ-Bribe phone app. “Before when I wanted to bribe a public official it was a complicated matter of hiring […]

The post Billionaires who lobbied Trump to halt Canadian bridge praise EZ-Bribe App appeared first on The Beaverton.

OTTAWA – After a universally beloved first season of ground-breaking television, Heated Rivalry season two has been green-lit with a story following two new hockey players hiding their in-infidelity from everyone around them. “There’s this negative stigma around men like this,” explained showrunner Jacob Tierney. “Just because you don’t cheat on your spouse doesn’t mean […]

The post Heated Rivalry season two to follow hockey players who secretly don’t cheat on their wives appeared first on The Beaverton.

GTA 6



View Comic!

Mikey’s always there when Claire needs him. He’s a minuteman, in a constant state of alert.

Claire’s history as a firebug is well established in The Case Of The Simple Soul. Sonny works it out at the end of the story, and tells the other mystery boys (who don’t believe him). But I have always worked on the assumption that Lottie knows (because Sonny will have told her too, or told Mildred). I didn’t used to declare things as clearly as I do now; put it down to being pinned to the wall in the comments day-in-day-out. What we have gained in narrative clarity, I have lost in sanity.

The post Ronsonol appeared first on Bad Machinery.

The U.S. economy experienced almost zero job growth in 2025, with the Bureau of Labor Statistics data indicating that the U.S. economy added only 181,000 jobs compared to 1.46 million in 2024. What do you think?

The post U.S. Gains Almost No Jobs In 2025 appeared first on The Onion.

The post Pam Bondi Thought That Went Pretty Well appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Hailing the move as a more wholesome and patriotic substitute for the current U.S. territory, conservative advocacy group Turning Point USA announced Thursday that it was setting up an alternative Puerto Rico. “Finally, Americans will be able to enjoy a family-friendly tropical paradise that actually celebrates traditional values,” said Turning Point CEO Erika Kirk, adding that the island would be known as “Port Rick,” a mistranslation of “Puerto Rico” that nevertheless reflected the new territory’s English-only mandate. “Good people who love America will no longer have to be intimidated by arroz con gandules and can sink their teeth into the new national dish, hamburgers. Of course, we’ll also be overhauling the music within our alternative Puerto Rico, replacing reggaeton and other aggressive styles with familiar, straight-ahead country music and Christian rock. And going forward, we’ll even be revamping the geography itself, swapping out the titillating bioluminescent bays for far less provocative basins of colorless water.” Kirk added that unlike the original Puerto Rico, the alternative would promptly receive disaster relief from the Trump administration.

The post Turning Point USA Announces Alternative Puerto Rico appeared first on The Onion.

In brief: In today’s post we provide some timing details on what to expect with Saturday’s front, which should bring a line of storms along with it. We also outline what looks to be an exceptional second half of the holiday weekend.

Timing of storms on Saturday

If you’re trying to make plans for Valentine’s Day, I want to tell you what I think will happen that day in terms of weather (I can make no predictions on the love side of the equation!) This forecast is still a bit tentative, but our confidence is increasing. An upper-level system will approach Houston, eventually dragging a cold front into the area. In terms of timing, Saturday morning should see a few light, scattered showers. At some point during the afternoon, activity may become a little stronger and more widespread.

However it now appears likely that a robust line of showers and thunderstorms could move through during the evening hours. My best guess is that this line moves through the Houston region between 6 pm and midnight on Saturday, with the slight possibility of some severe thunderstorms. This line may drop 0.5 to 1.5 inches of rain, but again rain totals will vary. For now I don’t anticipate flooding concerns, but if we get some over-performing or slowing storms, there may be some briefly flooded streets. Matt and I will keep a close eye on this for you.

Thursday

A weak, and dying front has stalled over Houston, dropping most of the area into the upper 50s this morning. It will lift back north today, leaving us with a sunny day and highs in the upper 70s. Winds will be light, from the southeast. Lows tonight will drop to around 60 degrees. Fog will remain a possibility during the overnight hours through Saturday morning.

Friday

This will be a partly sunny and mild day, with high temperatures in the mid-70s. Lows on Friday night will be a few degrees warmer than Thursday night, likely in the low 60s.

Saturday

As noted above, we expect showers and thunderstorms to pass through the area on Saturday, likely during the evening hours. Highs during the daytime will reach the mid-70s, with overnight lows dropping into the upper 50s, as drier air from the front arrives after midnight.

Sunday

This will be a splendid day, with highs likely in the low 70s, sunny skies, and much drier air. Winds will be gusty from the north during the morning hours, but probably will moderate after that. Lows on Sunday night will drop into the low 50s in Houston, with cooler conditions further inland.

Monday

The President’s Day holiday looks splendid as well, with highs in the low- to mid-70s, dry air, sunshine, and light winds. Expect another night in the 50s.

Rest of next week

Most of the rest of next week looks mild, with highs near 80 degrees, lows near 60, and partly sunny skies. Some sort of front may arrive toward the end of next week, but the details are fuzzy.

I’m back, baby.

Rapper Nicki Minaj has aligned herself with MAGA, stating that she is President Trump’s “number one fan.” The Onion sat down with the artist to discuss music, politics, and the controversy she’s created.

The Onion : During President Trump’s first term, you criticized his administration’s policy of separating families at the border. What changed?

Minaj: My Trinidadian cousin kept threatening to move here with his huge gross balls.

What do you and Trump talk about?

The struggle of finding a good makeup artist after alienating the LGBTQ+ community.

Which of your songs are the president’s favorites?

He said he liked all of them, which is the most of anybody I’ve ever met.

Is this about getting pardons for your husband and brother?

That’s ridiculous. Trump would pardon two sex criminals whether I supported him or not.

Do you worry about alienating your fans?

What fans?

What makes you the Queen of Rap?

Like any monarch, I turn a blind eye to the pedophiles in my family.

How will politics change your music?

“Super Bass” is now about fishing.

The post The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Nicki Minaj appeared first on The Onion.

A study published in Science found that a bonobo named Kanzi could play along when researchers offered him invisible juice and grapes in a manner akin to a child’s make-believe tea party, concluding that the primate could imagine and track the nonexistent objects being manipulated. What do you think?

The post Study: Bonobos Capable Of Human-Like Pretend Play appeared first on The Onion.

SAN FRANCISCO—Heralding what it called a “bold new age” in warping the mind of the nation’s elderly leader, OpenAI introduced a new premium video generator Thursday marketed toward White House advisors manipulating President Donald Trump. “Our new Stephen video generator is an easy, user-friendly text-to-video model that can create clips up to two minutes long and will easily trick the commander-in-chief into believing Mexico has deployed nuclear weapons on the U.S. border,” said OpenAI CEO Sam Altman, who revealed that the cutting-edge software had been trained on footage of protests, riots, immigrant arrests, and media interviews with Democratic politicians. “Stephen can create complex, detailed scenes of tattooed Guatemalan gang members robbing a child’s lemonade stand that can easily fool President Trump. We’ve seen incredible interest from White House aides and senior officials, who would like to generate dozens of videos a day to convince President Trump to arrest critical journalists or carpet bomb Brazil. All aides have to do is upload photos of Elizabeth Warren or Hakeem Jeffries and then make them do or say whatever they want. We’ve also added much more control for users, allowing aides to easily customize videos to meet their specific propaganda needs: Get creative and show Christians being buried alive on the streets of Africa, or homeless encampments in the Statue of Liberty. Or just have some fun with it and make a video of China landing on the moon. With the kind of influence and productivity Stephen enables, you could go from an assistant to a senior White House advisor in months. Of course, OpenAI’s mission is for all humanity to benefit, so we’ve added a security layer that asks ‘Are you sure?’ before generating a video of a Haitian immigrant barbecuing a baby.” At press time, Vice President JD Vance had reportedly been arrested after a dozen different White House employees generated videos of him protesting ICE and burning an American flag.

The post OpenAI Introduces Premium Video Generator For White House Advisors Manipulating Trump appeared first on The Onion.

For people in relationships, February 14 is a day to celebrate love and romance with a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a thoughtfully written card. But for those in less clear-cut dynamics, Valentine’s Day creates a difficult quandary: How to acknowledge your insignificant other without jeopardizing the carefully crafted gray area of your situationship. They’re definitely not your Valentine, but they’re still… something. And surely that something deserves a card too?