Cowboy Who?

In brief: Houston is experiencing its coldest night of the fall season so far, with temperatures dropping into the mid-30s in some inland locations. We’ll continue to see fall-like weather into Saturday before we warm up for a few days. If you’re wondering about the Thanksgiving forecast, it’s about as clear as plum pudding.

Plans for next year

As we continue our annual fundraiser (you can click here to find more information on how to donate, or buy merchandise), I wanted to talk a little bit about our plans for next year on Space City Weather. Here are some of our goals for 2025:

• Update our flood scale with the latest social science research
• Major overhaul of our iOS and Android apps to modernize their back end
• Big, public celebration of our 10th anniversary
• Additional partnerships with the community to support worthwhile projects

Thursday

Temperatures this morning range from the mid-30s in Montgomery County to the upper 50s on Galveston Island, which gives you some sense of the geographic diversity of the Houston region, and the challenge of forecasting weather across such a broad and diverse area. In any case, it’s the coldest night of the season so far, and you’ll probably want a sweater or jacket on the way out the door.

High temperatures today will reach about 70 degrees beneath sunny skies. Winds will be light from the north or northwest today. With dewpoints in the 20s this afternoon, the air will feel very, very dry for Houston. Temperatures tonight will be chilly again, but likely 1 to 3 degrees warmer than Wednesday night.

Friday

A day that will be a lot like Thursday, with ample sunshine and drier air. High temperatures will be a touch warmer, in the low 70s, with overnight lows dropping to around 50 degrees in Houston, with cooler temperatures for outlying areas.

Saturday and Sunday

As high pressure makes its way to the exits, we’ll see the onshore flow returning this weekend. Highs on Saturday will still hold in the mid-70s for most locations, with mostly sunny skies, and fairly low humidity. But overnight temperatures will only drop to about 60 degrees. The second half of the weekend will see the return of some clouds, a bit more humidity, and high temperatures in the lower 80s. The weekend looks rain-free, so any activities you have planned are good to go.

Next week

Trying to forecast the weather for next week really ruffles my feathers. That’s right, you’re going to get plenty of Thanksgiving puns right up to the holiday itself.

Monday looks warm, with highs in the mid-80s and a warm night. At that point a weak front may sag into the area—we’ll see if it has enough oomph to push all the way through—and this could knock temperatures back slightly on Tuesday.

A stronger front is probably coming later in the week, but whether that’s on Wednesday night, Thursday, or Thursday night is not something we can say for sure. And with the Thanksgiving holiday on Thursday, the timing really matters, especially since there is likely to be a little rain with the front. In any case, I’d expect daily highs to be around 80 degrees ahead of the front, and likely falling back to the 60s afterward. So yeah there’s a wide range of possibilities still on the table for Thanksgiving. Next weekend should be colder, however, with nights in the 40s or 50s.

A group of about a dozen neo-Nazis marched through Columbus, OH carrying Nazi flags and shouting expressions of white power, achieving their apparent goal of rattling not just people in Columbus, but a wider audience online. What do you think?

“I don’t think we should throw around the ‘Nazi’ label just based on which minorities someone wants to gas.”

Ian Aksoy, Basketball Texturer

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“Maybe all their other laundry and flags were dirty.”

Armando Berridge, Jury Duty Enthusiast

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“I’m going to need to see some high-profile media interviews with these men before I call them Nazis.”

Tessa Maureau, Systems Analyst

The post Neo-Nazis March In Ohio appeared first on The Onion.

Spirit Airlines filed for bankruptcy protection after mounting losses, unaffordable debt, increased competition for bargain-seeking airline passengers, and the inability to merge with other airlines left it little choice. What do you think?

“Looks like I’ll have to find another way to ruin all my trips home.”

Mario Pizano, Soil Enricher

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“I knew this flying machine fad would burn out eventually.”

Tanya Salinas, Unemployed

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“The pilot is still going to land this plane though, right?”

Victor Kruse, Chakra Aligner

The post Spirit Airlines Files For Bankruptcy appeared first on The Onion.

Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo star in Wicked, an adaptation of the Broadway musical with a massive marketing campaign. The Onion sat down with the actresses to discuss their love of theater, craft, and on-set friendships.

The Onion: In what ways does the film adaptation vary from the Broadway production?

Erivo: You can’t get on stage and touch the actors.

The Onion: Did the cast play any fun pranks on one another during filming? 

Grande: Bowen Yang brought a gun to set. 

The Onion: How does Wicked reflect your own lives?

Grande: I am 16 feet tall, just like on the movie screen.

Erivo: I have to clear everything I say with NBCUniversal.

The Onion: Ariana, we heard you first met Kristin Chenoweth backstage at Wicked when you were just 10 years old. What was that like?

Grande: I’ve never met Kristin Chenoweth in my life. I don’t know who that little girl was pretending to be me, but when I find out, I’m going to kill her.  

The Onion: What do you want people to take from this film? 

Erivo: I hope it draws attention to the very real history of sexist witch hunts and honors the tens of thousands of innocent women who were killed between the 15th and 18th centuries by having houses dropped on them.

The Onion: What do you think Wicked fans will find most surprising?

Grande: I made the choice to play Glinda as Cajun, and I think it really paid off.

The post The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Ariana Grande And Cynthia Erivo appeared first on The Onion.

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The post DNC Chair: It’s Not A Waste Of Money If It Makes You Happy appeared first on The Onion.

PALM BEACH, FL—Blushing, short of breath, and unable to look away from the image, the Trump boys told reporters Thursday that they got a weird feeling after their Uncle Elon showed them a picture of a busty anime cat girl. “Uncle Elon called us over to look at his phone, made us promise not to tell anybody, and then showed us his special pictures of the cat girl,” said Eric Trump, who confided that he and his brother felt like they were doing something really bad, but at the same time it felt really good. “I always thought girls like Tiffany were gross, but this was different. It was like a pretty girl who had cat ears, fur, a tail, and really big boobies—you could see the nipples and everything. I felt all warm down there and my stomach was full of buzzle bees [sic] and I didn’t like it. But when Uncle Elon said he needed to be alone and tried to take the picture away we got really upset and mad.” At press time, Eric and Donald Jr. were reportedly on the ground wrestling each other over who would get to be the cat girl’s boyfriend first.

The post Trump Boys Get Weird Feeling After Uncle Elon Shows Them Busty Anime Cat Girl appeared first on The Onion.

TORONTO – A friend you will literally never see again has proclaimed you should “do this again soon!” Carol Andrews, 29, made the bold statement after a thrice-cancelled brunch with your friend group from high school finally came to pass. “I forgot how funny my friends are!” said Andrews, who apparently hasn’t opened any of […]

The post “Let’s do this again soon!” says friend you will literally never see again appeared first on The Beaverton.

Last week, Niantic announced plans to create an AI model for navigating the physical world using scans collected from players of its mobile games, such as Pokémon Go, and from users of its Scaniverse app, reports 404 Media.

All AI models require training data. So far, companies have collected data from websites, YouTube videos, books, audio sources, and more, but this is perhaps the first we've heard of AI training data collected through a mobile gaming app.

"Over the past five years, Niantic has focused on building our Visual Positioning System (VPS), which uses a single image from a phone to determine its position and orientation using a 3D map built from people scanning interesting locations in our games and Scaniverse," Niantic wrote in a company blog post.

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WASHINGTON—After bending the rules with a celebratory serving in honor of his special day, White House officials confirmed Wednesday that President Joe Biden had been given human food as a birthday treat. “I know he’s not technically supposed to eat this kind of stuff, but we figure once in a while on a special occasion a ground beef patty on a sesame seed bun can’t be too bad for him,” said White House executive chef Eric Aikens, slyly explaining how his team decided to bypass the preplanned feeding schedule advised by the medical staff who oversee the president’s strict diet. “Whenever we give him a little taste of what’s on the table, he goes wild for it. Sometimes human food upsets his stomach, so we might pay for it later, but every birthday boy needs a treat. We’ll even put a little candle on top of the hamburger patty for him—who knows how many birthdays the little guy has left?” According to sources, the chef completed the president’s birthday plate by sneaking an antifungal pill beneath the pile of mashed potatoes.

The post Joe Biden Given Human Food As Birthday Treat appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Urging the public to remain skeptical until the object could be studied further, NASA officials confirmed during a press conference Wednesday that there was a potential link between extraterrestrials and the giant metal claw currently picking up the Earth. “We believe that the mechanical three-pronged hand recently spotted clasped around the Arctic may be controlled by intelligent beings via a sort of joystick,” said NASA administrator Bill Nelson, who urged more research to determine whether the enormous claw is alien-made or a natural phenomena. “Our radar has picked up signals that sound like, ‘Oh goddamn it, try again,’ but that could simply be cosmic noise. The planet has been dragged through the solar system several times recently, suggesting that whoever or whatever is doing this really wants Earth and has enough credits to keep trying until it succeeds.” At press time, the Earth was reportedly plummeting through space toward a large pile of other planets.

The post NASA: Potential Link Between Extraterrestrials, Giant Metal Claw Picking Up Earth appeared first on The Onion.

Guelph, ON – Have you ever wondered about the secret to a more successful life? It turns out it’s confidence, according to beautiful people born into generational wealth. Decades of psychological and sociological research have found a strong correlation between socioeconomic status, attractiveness, and measures of workplace success. However, if you ask hot, rich people, […]

The post “Confidence is the key to success” claim wealthy, attractive people appeared first on The Beaverton.

Damn right, we’re unionizing. Management wants ten shipwrecks a week. It’s ridiculous. Last year it was eight, who knows what it’ll be next year.

Oh, sure, being a siren seems glamorous. Lounge all day, enchant some sailors, punish mankind for mistaking the beautiful for the good. What most folks don’t understand is the amount of work needed to make that possible.

Life at sea is a two-way street. While we’re trying to catch men, men are trying to outsmart us. Just the other day, a ship came by with the captain hanging from the mast. You have to understand, a ship is huge for us. This isn’t some rinky-dink row boat; this is a full captain and crew situation. Management is desperate for these kinds of big-ticket crashes.

So we’re working our magic, and the captain’s going wild, but the ship doesn’t change course. He’s yelling and yelling, but the rowers don’t budge. Right as they’re about to leave our sight, we notice the whole crew has their ears plugged with beeswax. Beeswax! Now, you try and explain that to your boss. We’re still getting criticized for it.

Forming a union is about having a seat at the table. Right now, sirens don’t even get to choose where we work. I was in the Tyrrhenian Sea for a decade until corporate relocated me to the Caspian for a seasonal job. It’s unsustainable.

We all got into this business because we’re passionate. When a sailor is trapped by our tune, slamming his boat into our rocks, realizing the error of his ways just as he realizes it’s too late to alter his fate, it’s all worth it. That’s why we get up in the morning.

Unfortunately, corporate knows that too. But passion doesn’t pay the bills. Passion is no substitute for work-life balance.

Did you know we don’t even get to keep the cargo of ships we crash? Sirens stay up all night mapping trade routes and timing intercepts. All that effort just for management to take most of the cut. Who knows what they do with it.

And don’t even get me started on our instruments. The average person has no clue how expensive a lyre is, not to mention years of lessons. We have to front all those costs, of course. This is the definition of skilled labor, and they treat us like hobbyists.

Management will never understand what it’s like to work the rocks. They don’t know what it means to be a team, to have solidarity. Those corporate suits don’t know the thrill of standing side by side, combing our golden hair as a haggard sailor throws his life away. All they see are dollars and cents.

At the end of the day, we know how to do our job. We know what works and what it means to trap passersby with our lethal charm. It’s an honest profession, and a union will make sure this profession remains viable for generations to come.

OTTAWA – Pierre Poilievre continues to refute all Liberal Party attempts to tie him to President Donald Trump, insisting that if people pay close attention they’ll see he’s way more of a JD Vance type. “Canadians see right through the Liberals pathetic attempts to associate me with President Trump,” said Poilievre. “They know I’m nowhere […]

The post Poilievre denies he’d be a Canadian Trump: “I’ll be more like a Canadian JD Vance” appeared first on The Beaverton.

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Someone told me they could only do 2 weeks of SMBC in a single sitting before feeling sad and needing a walk.

Headlines

• Hurricane season is unofficially over, as no activity is seen over the next 10 days, taking us through to about December.
• 2024 will end up as a “hyperactive” season but barely.
• Meanwhile, the West is seeing a storm almost as strong as a major hurricane spinning offshore.
• Significant, damaging wind is possible in the Seattle area tonight.
• A prolonged atmospheric river in California and southern Oregon will produce over 10 inches of rain in spots, and a rare day 3 high risk (level 4/4) of flooding exists in northern California for Thursday.

2024 Atlantic hurricane season ends — we think

With the degeneration of Sara’s remnants yesterday, it would appear that we’re basically done with the 2024 Atlantic hurricane season.

Unfortunately, Tropical Storm Sara was deadly in Honduras while dumping upwards of 20″ or more of rainfall. As much as 1,000 mm (40 inches) was analyzed in northern, coastal Honduras. Though deadly, it appears that the number of fatalities will remain well under some other notable rainstorms of the past in Central America. Good warnings likely helped.

With that, the season seems to be over now, as we see nothing over the next 7 days, and the models are pretty quiet beyond that. So where will we finish? It appears 2024’s accumulated cyclone energy (ACE) will finish at the bottom of the list of hyperactive seasons. We had 18 storms, 11 hurricanes, and 5 major hurricanes. The 11 hurricanes tie for fifth most in a season.

Did the season live up to the preseason hype? Probably not. But with over $190 billion in unofficial damages, it ranks near the top of the list of worst seasons on record. So you can find a metric that says this year was as bad as feared or was a total bust. The world is your oyster. But for parts of the Caribbean, Florida, and Appalachia, this season will be for the history books. And that’s really all that matters.

We can take a more in depth look at the season later. I want to transition us into post-season mode now at The Eyewall. We’re still experimenting with what works because we want to continue to grow our audience, but we also want to stay in our lane to an extent. Ultimately though, weather is our lane. And we should be chiming in when significant weather is a big story. And today, it’s a big story on the West Coast.

Western U.S. and Canada drenched and pummeled

There are two major stories developing on the West Coast. The first is occurring as I type this. A massive storm is rapidly deepening off the Northwest coast.

Yes, this is a bomb cyclone. That term gets tossed around often, and some people consider it hype. But it’s a legitimate meteorological term with a very specific definition. The lowest pressure of the storm must drop at least 24 millibars in 24 hours or less to attain “bomb cyclone” classification. While it may seem like bomb cyclones are rare, they really aren’t, happening multiple times a year on average near North America. What makes this particular storm stand out is the amplitude and rate of deepening that it is undergoing. Basically, the storm has dropped over 25 millibars just this afternoon, achieving “bomb” status incredibly quickly.

There will be multiple impacts associated with this storm, including a major downslope wind event east of Seattle tonight, where gusts in excess of 50 to 60 mph could occur in some of the heavily populated suburbs near the Cascade foothills. This will be worse than a typical wind event for this region, likely causing some localized damage and numerous power outages.

In addition, strong winds will occur at the coast, though thankfully the worst winds will remain well offshore due to the storm not making landfall. Heavy mountain snow and lower elevation rain will occur as well, and blizzard warnings are posted for the Cascades.

Meanwhile, a long duration atmospheric river event is going to take aim at California and southern Oregon in the coming several days, dumping copious amounts of rain and mountain snow, and some rain-on-snow potentially as well.

This will peak as a category 5 atmospheric river, which means significant impacts are likely, and the NWS Weather Prediction Center already issued a high risk of flooding (level 4/4) for northern California on Thursday, which I believe is the first time this has occurred for a non-tropical storm.

High risks don’t seem to be as rare as they used to be, but obviously for a day 3, confidence has to be exceptionally high or the risk has to be exceptionally high. I think a confluence of factors is impacting that. In terms of rainfall over the next week, it’s going to get messy. Over 10 inches of rain should fall in some of the mountains in northern California. Snow will also occur, but as the atmosphere warms a bit, the snow levels will increase. So this could be a damaging event in addition to a possibly beneficial one. Extremes rule the day in California. More to come.

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes:

I’m 25 and working in a passion career. I love it! I’m not burned out, and I don’t want to work less. My manager gives us all flexibility and grace. And yet … it still bothers me when my parenting peers work a fraction of my hours for the same (or more) pay.

My unit consists of three coworkers—all parents—and me. My manager prides himself on being flexible around parenting, so the disparity in workload can be extreme. I work 9am-5pm. My coworkers work 10am-4pm. I am on call in the early morning and on weekends. My coworkers aren’t. I am expected to attend the events we (I) plan. One of my coworkers bails often with no repercussions. We share a job description, but my closest coworker makes $30,000 more than me because she advocated for a raise to pay for her child’s expenses. (My organization does not offer raises. My boss lobbied for my coworker anyway because of the kid thing.)

I hate that I feel this way, but I’m so demoralized. I feel especially for my closest coworker — she’s parenting alone and in debt. I adore her interpersonally, and I want her to get the support she needs. But I’m struggling to stem my own resentment.

In the past, you’ve focused your answers to childfree people on how to avoid picking up an excess amount of slack. I actually don’t have a problem with my workload, and I don’t want to work less. If I needed flexibility, I think my manager would grant it to me. I just want … company, I guess? For someone else to do the work with me? Our work is supposed to be collaborative, and it functions better that way. It feels silly to type, but I feel almost lonely. How can I reframe this situation for myself? Should I talk to my manager, and if yes, how? I really want to be reasonable and kind, and I worry that this emotion I’m having is neither.

It’s not silly to feel lonely when you are quite literally working alone a good chunk of the time.

And it’s absolutely unfair for someone to make $30,000 (!) more than you for the same work because she has a child and you don’t … and even more so if you’re doing more work than she is.

However, normally when people see parents treated differently than non-parents, the frustration is that non-parents aren’t offered the same flexibility for their own needs — they’re not permitted to come in late or leave early with the same frequency or ease, or it’s a much bigger battle for them to be able to miss an event.

In your case, it sounds like you could have similar flexibility if you wanted it, but you don’t want it.

So I think it would help to think about what would feel like a satisfying solution to you. Do you want your coworkers with kids to have less flexibility? (I’m guessing you don’t.) Do you want them to work more hours? (I suspect this may be yes.) Do you just want to feel like you’re not the only one who’s always there? (I suspect this is yes too.)

If any of this is genuinely causing work issues — like if you can’t ever come in late without specifically arranging coverage because someone needs to be on-site during business hours and everyone assumes that will always be you, or if you’re not able to get answers from colleagues when you need them, or if it’s just become a strain to be the only person reliably at events — those are things you can raise with your manager. If you don’t want to be on-call outside of work hours anymore, you can raise that to her, too. All of that would be reasonable and fair to bring up, and to ask to see change.

If it’s none of that and it’s just that it feels unfair but you don’t want to pull back on your side to better match everyone else’s level, then you should ask to be compensated for your higher level of contribution. At a minimum, you should point out that you’re the only person who’s on-call in early mornings and weekends and the only one reliably staffing events, and you should ask for a raise or a bonus that reflects that.

In other words, think about what can change on your side to make this more fair, rather than focusing on changing theirs. Since you don’t want more flexibility or less work, ask for more money instead. You’re earning that.

But that might or might not get at the crux of your loneliness, which is that you’re more focused on the team’s work than your coworkers are. If money wouldn’t fix your feelings about that part, it’s something that you can probably only change by going elsewhere.

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes:

What do you make of employers asking job applicants about their high school performance? Besides the fact that I barely remember SAT or other score results from high school or college, is this even a real way to see how someone would perform at work? It feels infantalizing and not the best way to get a sense of someone is “smart” or whatever they’re looking for. Is this a red flag?

For reference, this is a general administrative position, exact questions below:

How did you perform in mathematics in high school? (dropdown menu of choices)

How did you perform in your native language in high school? (dropdown menu of choices)

Please share your rationale or evidence for the high school performance selections above. Make reference to provincial, state, or nationwide scoring systems, rankings, or recognition awards, or to competitive or selective college entrance results such as SAT or ACT scores, JAMB, matriculation results, IB results, etc. We recognize every system is different but we will ask you to justify your selections above.

What was your bachelor’s university degree result, or expected result if you have not yet graduated? Please include the grading system to help us understand your result, e.g. “85 out of 100,” “2.1 (grading system: first class, 2:1, 2:2, third class),” or “GPA score of 3.8/4.0 (predicted).” We have hired outstanding individuals who did not attend or complete university. If this describes you, please continue with your application and enter “no degree.”

Universities around the world score degrees in different ways. Please indicate your result, or expected result if you are close to graduation, along with information about the grading system.

It’s a flag for something, all right.

It’s one thing to ask for GPA when candidates are right out of school and don’t have much of a work history to point to. In that case, it’s a rough — and extremely imperfect — stand-in for “smarts and accomplishments” for candidates who don’t have a track record at work. But (a) it stops being relevant as soon as people have a bit of work experience under their belts and you can look at actual accomplishments instead, and (b) even for candidates who are right out of school with little work experience (which will not be all of them), this is still an excessive focus on academics, particularly for an admin role.

GPA and other test scores are a horribly inaccurate gauge for how someone will do in a job. Lots of people with high test scores end up doing mediocre work, and lots of people with middling test scores end up excelling professionally. Raw “intelligence” or “knowledge” doesn’t always correlate with achievement … plus, it’s pretty well established that tests that purport to measure intelligence often correlate with demographic and socioeconomic background more than anything else.

And going all the way back to high school, not just college, amplifies how weird this is. Just as college tests stop being relevant once you’re in the work world, high school tests stop being relevant once you’re in college (or otherwise out of high school).

You almost have to wonder if this is an attempt to screen out older workers, or at least signal that that’s not who’s envisioned for this job.

Four individuals were arrested for allegedly attempting to defraud their insurance companies by claiming a bear had damaged their vehicles, when in fact it was a person in a bear costume attacking the cars. What do you think?

“That sure is an elaborate excuse to buy a bear costume.”

Joseph Milazzo, Elastic Stretcher

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“Should’ve gone with the gorilla costume.”

Ben Swan, Agricultural Clerk

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“Makes you wonder if all bears in your life are who they say they are.”

Daisy Oldershaw, Synopsis Condenser

The post Bear Costume Used In Elaborate Car Insurance Fraud Scheme appeared first on The Onion.

The post Cash-Strapped Subway Threatens To Reveal Identities Of Customers Who Eat Subway If They Don’t Pay appeared first on The Onion.

The bride and groom finally decided to settle down after mutually accepting that cousins weren’t completely off the table. 

The post James Nardone and Lisa Reynolds appeared first on The Onion.

OSHAWA, ON – Local indie band The Kneeling Neils have announced a new concert tour to recover the financial losses from their previous tour. The indie folk rock outfit shared the news after the final tally for their most recent tour left them in the red. “Seriously, Neil K. had to sell his blood after […]

The post Indie band goes on tour to recoup financial losses from last tour appeared first on The Beaverton.

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In The Matrix, people need a fake paradise, but most humans would do it for about 1 percent of that.