Univision 41 San Antonio, KWEX, celebrated its 70th anniversary on March 18, 2025, as the first Spanish-language television station in the United States. The event was attended by prominent figures who have shaped and continue to shape the network's history, as well as local leaders who recognized the positive impact the channel has had on the city's Hispanic community.KWEX was originally
In brief: We’re interrupting your Sunday with a short post to note the possibility of severe weather in the Houston metro this afternoon and early evening. Conditions aren’t ideal, but they could support strong thunderstorms.
Hi everyone. I hope you’re enjoying this humid Sunday in our fair city. We’re posting a quick update to note the possibility that some strong thunderstorms may develop this afternoon in association with a weak front approaching the region. Unfortunately we don’t have great data about the state of the atmosphere—a sounding over the city or just to our northwest would go along way—but there are some ingredients available for the development of storms.
The most likely timeframe will be from about noon to 8 pm CT. If the capping inversion in the atmosphere (preventing warm, humid air at the surface from rising) ends up breaking over the city, we could see a fairly wide outbreak of thunderstorms. There will be the usual threats in the form of hail, damaging winds, and possibly a tornado or two. I want to emphasize that conditions are not ideal for severe weather, but the potential is lurking in our atmosphere.
The bottom line is that if you’re going to be out and about this afternoon you will want to check the radar and be prepared for inclement weather. The likelihood of storms will diminish this evening, and then should fade entirely tonight in Houston. We’ll be back with a comprehensive update, as usual, on Monday morning.
Have you ever noticed that I've never done that whole influencer thing? That's all thanks to people like you! Viewer support through Patreon keeps this channel independent and possible. It's how I can express my true thoughts on what YouTube's business daddy (and Silicon Valley at large) are up to. If you'd like to join the amazing folks who fund my work, check out the link below. And thank you! https://www.patreon.com/technologyconnections
00:00 intro 01:05 Propane and propane accessories 04:14 Power 09:38 Watts vs. Watt-hours 16:37 How power figures can mislead you 21:49 An Energy-focused Mindset 28:25 When power matters: Speed 32:17 Power Limits 37:03 Demand charges 39:46 Energy efficiency 47:48 Conclusion
With an exhibition title that sounds like the name of a retro horror film, The Sun Rises at Midnight at Pablo Cardoza Gallery brings together multimedia works by Gabo Martinez and Manik Raj Nakra, artists who share unexpected overlaps between media and dimensions.
The show presents new directions from Martinez. While the artist still incorporates some patterned sgraffito carving into the surface of her terracotta vessels, her colors are decidedly more muted, and her designs are more contained. The clay surface is now left largely unadorned or is molded with soft spike forms that resemble horns or cactus thorns. Notably, Martinez’s works are now mostly unglazed, allowing us to appreciate the warm, earthy texture of her terracotta pieces without the glassified sheen that coated them in the past. Rather than reflecting light, these pieces seem to possess an inner luminosity of their own.
Gabo Martinez, “Fertility Goddess,” 2024
Gabo Martinez, “Fertility Goddess,” 2024
Martinez’s works are also more explicitly rooted in historical pottery traditions. When I interviewed the artist for Glasstire in 2019, she said that she was “deeply influenced by Indigenous Mexican and Native American art,” and those influences are at the forefront of a new group of ceramic figures. Fertility Goddess (2024) is painted with designs reminiscent of the pottery of the Chupícuaro, an ancient civilization from the artist’s native Guanajuato. Indeed, the words “Chupícuaro” and “Guanajuato” are written around the figure’s ankles, as if the piece is a sort of archaeological replica or a handmade souvenir. Nearby, Zoquitl Worker Effigy (2025) is a female figure-vessel clasping her hands beneath a prominent red heart. Zoquitl means ‘clay’ in Nahuatl, the language of the Aztecs that is still spoken widely today. Likewise, this piece seems to be a sort of self-portrait by an artist who is working in the vibrant spaces between the past and the present.
A woodblock print by Gabo Martinez
These sturdy, earthbound vessels are a strong counterpoint to Martinez’s breezy woodblock prints, which float well above eye level on the gallery walls. In these works, colorful flowers and star shapes repeat themselves over thin white mulberry paper. Some of the designs mirror the forms that are carved into the surfaces of the artist’s clay works, but here they are as light as air, and feel more overtly decorative. Careful carving has created both sets of images, but their substrates ultimately impart the works with their sense of gravity.
Nakra’s paintings feature animal claws and jaws poised before vast, acid-colored landscapes. Curiously, the artist’s tigers, leopards, alligators, and other predators are rendered in relatively flat and glossy oil paint, while his backgrounds are matte and mottled combinations of stained ceramic stucco. The upraised texture of what is theoretically distant space confounds a sense of pictorial dimension and imbues the works with a disconcerting sense of motionlessness. Nakra’s concern with three-dimensionality extends to his pieces’ painted edges, which sometimes also include title texts, as in the large-scale work The Slasher (2023).
A work by Manik Raj Nakra
Like Martinez, Nakra is interested in the deep past. Icarus and the Minotaur are the subjects of a pair of paintings here, evoking Greek mythology and — along with his repeated slasher film references in the show’s other pieces — an ambiguous sense of punishment and peril. But the artist’s narrative powers are most vividly alive on paper. His new artist book The Gloaming (2025) reprises his compelling “Kali Moths” (2022) and “Moonlight, Desire, A Jackal, Sea Serpents, and Me” (2023) series, each made of fascinating mixtures of handmade paper, woodcut prints, and drawings. With its punchy colors and open-ended imagery, Nakra’s new book is a compelling fusion of xerox punk zine aesthetics and South Asian woodblock printmaking (Nakra is a first-generation Indian American). The format feels especially fruitful for an artist who is so invested in the drama of a good story.
Despite the City of Austin’s initial decision to deaccession four public art pieces located in the Austin Convention Center, it is now working with the artists to find solutions to keep their works in the public art collection.
John Yancey, “Riffs & Rhythm,” 1996, broken ceramic tile mosaic
During a City Council meeting in February, the Council voted to deaccession Margo Sawyer’s Index for Contemplation (2002), a site-specific sculptural installation; Rolando Briseño’s Macro/Micro Culture (2002), an installation of giclee prints, which are permanently affixed to the walls; John Yancey’s Riffs & Rhythms (1996), a mosaic mural built into the structure of the wall; and Damion Priour’s Waller Creek Shelves (1996), a sculptural installation. In addition to deaccessioning the pieces, the City made it clear that artwork removal would be at the cost of the artists, and if they could not or chose not to remove the pieces, the works would be destroyed as part of the demolition and rebuilding of the Convention Center.
Margo Sawyer, “Index for Contemplation,” 2002, powder-coated steel & aluminum and yellow zinc-plated steel
Following an outcry from the arts community, in early March the Council passed a new resolution adjusting the City’s policies to better support artists in the future. Several community members showed up to the March 6 City Council meeting to voice concerns that the resolution did not directly address the current issues faced by the four artists whose work was recently deaccessioned.
“A third-party donor will support the de-installation of John Yancey’s piece, which will be securely stored until it can be re-installed in East Austin’s historic center of the African American Heritage Cultural District. It will remain in the City of Austin’s public art collection.
Damian Priour’s artwork will also remain in the City of Austin’s Art in Public Places collection. It is anticipated to be installed at the Austin Central Library.
Parts of Margo Sawyer’s piece will be re-incorporated into the redevelopment of the Austin Convention Center.
We are still working on solutions for the work of Rolando Briseño.”
Rolando Briseño, “Macro/Micro Culture,” 2002
Mr. Yancey told Glasstire, “There has been an incredible amount of support from so many people and I am hopeful for a successful deinstallation and positive result with Riffs and Rhythms having a new home in this important cultural district being built by the Pleasant Hill Collective.”
Damion Priour, “The Waller Creek Shelves,” 1996, limestone, glass, and found objects
In a March 19 memorandum addressed to the Mayor and City Council, Ms. Means noted that Phase 1 of the Airport-Based Public Art Plan, which had come under scrutiny by locals for not including Austin artists, has been paused “to ensure meaningful participation” from local artists. The memo also addressed public art in the Convention Center, noting its plans to relocate artworks where possible. It stated, “By preserving and reinstallation these artworks, ACME reaffirms its dedication to cultural continuity, public engagement, and sustainability of Austin’s artistic heritage.”
TORONTO – As Hudson’s Bay stores across Canada liquidate their inventory to pay off debt, customers currently lost inside these labyrinthian stores are being warned they must find their way out before the locations close for good. “There are only a few weeks left for Canadians to capitalize on our liquidation sale, and for those […]
OTTAWA – In light of concerns that social media sites would be used to spread deliberate disinformation in order to sway the outcome of Canada’s upcoming federal election, Chief Electoral Officer Stephane Perrault has assured the public that that won’t happen because the sites have assured him that that won’t happen. “I have reached out […]
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Leaders at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention ordered staff this week not to release their experts’ assessment that found the risk of catching measles is high in areas near outbreaks where vaccination rates are lagging, according to internal records reviewed by ProPublica.
In an aborted plan to roll out the news, the agency would have emphasized the importance of vaccinating people against the highly contagious and potentially deadly disease that has spread to 19 states, the records show.
A CDC spokesperson told ProPublica in a written statement that the agency decided against releasing the assessment “because it does not say anything that the public doesn’t already know.” She added that the CDC continues to recommend vaccines as “the best way to protect against measles.”
But what the nation’s top public health agency said next shows a shift in its long-standing messaging about vaccines, a sign that it may be falling in line under Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., a longtime critic of vaccines:
“The decision to vaccinate is a personal one,” the statement said, echoing a line from a column Kennedy wrote for the Fox News website. “People should consult with their healthcare provider to understand their options to get a vaccine and should be informed about the potential risks and benefits associated with vaccines.”
ProPublica shared the new CDC statement about personal choice and risk with Jennifer Nuzzo, director of the Pandemic Center at Brown University School of Public Health. To her, the shift in messaging, and the squelching of this routine announcement, is alarming.
“I’m a bit stunned by that language,” Nuzzo said. “No vaccine is without risk, but that makes it sound like it’s a very active coin toss of a decision. We’ve already had more cases of measles in 2025 than we had in 2024, and it’s spread to multiple states. It is not a coin toss at this point.”
For many years, the CDC hasn’t minced words on vaccines. It promoted them with confidence. One campaign was called “Get My Flu Shot.” The agency’s website told medical providers they play a critical role in helping parents choose vaccines for their children: “Instead of saying ‘What do you want to do about shots?,’ say ‘Your child needs three shots today.’”
Nuzzo wishes the CDC’s forecasters would put out more details of their data and evidence on the spread of measles, not less. “The growing scale and severity of this measles outbreak and the urgent need for more data to guide the response underscores why we need a fully staffed and functional CDC and more resources for state and local health departments,” she said.
Kennedy’s agency oversees the CDC and on Thursday announced it was poised to eliminate 2,400 jobs there.
When asked what role, if any, Kennedy played in the decision to not release the risk assessment, HHS’ communications director said the aborted announcement “was part of an ongoing process to improve communication processes — nothing more, nothing less.” The CDC, he reiterated, continues to recommend vaccination “as the best way to protect against measles.”
“Secretary Kennedy believes that the decision to vaccinate is a personal one and that people should consult with their healthcare provider to understand their options to get a vaccine,” Andrew G. Nixon said. “It is important that the American people have radical transparency and be informed to make personal healthcare decisions.”
Responding to questions about criticism of the decision among some CDC staff, Nixon wrote, “Some individuals at the CDC seem more interested in protecting their own status or agenda rather than aligning with this Administration and the true mission of public health.”
The CDC’s risk assessment was carried out by its Center for Forecasting and Outbreak Analytics, which relied, in part, on new disease data from the outbreak in Texas. The CDC created the center to address a major shortcoming laid bare during the COVID-19 pandemic. It functions like a National Weather Service for infectious diseases, harnessing data and expertise to predict the course of outbreaks like a meteorologist warns of storms.
Other risk assessments by the center have been posted by the CDC even though their conclusions might seem obvious.
In late February, for example, forecasters analyzing the spread of H5N1 bird flu said people who come “in contact with potentially infected animals or contaminated surfaces or fluids” faced a moderate to high risk of contracting the disease. The risk to the general U.S. population, they said, was low.
In the case of the measles assessment, modelers at the center determined the risk of the disease for the general public in the U.S. is low, but they found the risk is high in communities with low vaccination rates that are near outbreaks or share close social ties to those areas with outbreaks. The CDC had moderate confidence in the assessment, according to an internal Q&A that explained the findings. The agency, it said, lacks detailed data about the onset of the illness for all patients in West Texas and is still learning about the vaccination rates in affected communities as well as travel and social contact among those infected. (The H5N1 assessment was also made with moderate confidence.)
The internal plan to roll out the news of the forecast called for the expert physician who’s leading the CDC’s response to measles to be the chief spokesperson answering questions. “It is important to note that at local levels, vaccine coverage rates may vary considerably, and pockets of unvaccinated people can exist even in areas with high vaccination coverage overall,” the plan said. “The best way to protect against measles is to get the measles, mumps, and rubella (MMR) vaccine.”
This week, though, as the number of confirmed cases rose to 483, more than 30 agency staff were told in an email that after a discussion in the CDC director’s office, “leadership does not want to pursue putting this on the website.”
The cancellation was “not normal at all,” said a CDC staff member who spoke anonymously for fear of reprisal with layoffs looming. “I’ve never seen a rollout plan that was canceled at that far along in the process.”
Anxiety among CDC staff has been building over whether the agency will bend its public health messages to match those of Kennedy, a lawyer who founded an anti-vaccine group and referred clients to a law firm suing a vaccine manufacturer.
During Kennedy’s first week on the job, HHS halted the CDC campaign that encouraged people to get flu shots during a ferocious flu season. On the night that the Trump administration began firing probationary employees across the federal government, some key CDC flu webpages were taken down. Remnants of some of the campaign webpages were restored after NPR reported this.
But some at the agency felt like the new leadership had sent a message loud and clear: When next to nobody was paying attention, long-standing public health messages could be silenced.
On the day in February that the world learned that an unvaccinated child had died of measles in Texas, the first such death in the U.S. since 2015, the HHS secretary downplayed the seriousness of the outbreak. “We have measles outbreaks every year,” he said at a cabinet meeting with President Donald Trump.
In an interview on Fox News this month, Kennedy championed doctors in Texas who he said were treating measles with a steroid, an antibiotic and cod liver oil, a supplement that is high in vitamin A. “They’re seeing what they describe as almost miraculous and instantaneous recovery from that,” Kennedy said.
Texas health officials also said that the Trump administration’s decision to rescind $11 billion in pandemic-related grants across the country will hinder their ability to respond to the growing outbreak, according to The Texas Tribune.
Measles is among the most contagious diseases and can be dangerous. About 20% of unvaccinated people who get measles wind up in the hospital. And nearly 1 to 3 of every 1,000 children with measles will die from respiratory and neurologic complications. The virus can linger in the air for two hours after an infected person has left an area, and patients can spread measles before they even know they have it.
This week Amtrak said it was notifying customers that they may have been exposed to the disease this month when a passenger with measles rode one of its trains from New York City to Washington, D.C.
Social Security systems contain tens of millions of lines of code written in COBOL, an archaic programming language. Safely rewriting that code would take years—DOGE wants it done in months.
Software developer Xe Iaso reached a breaking point earlier this year when aggressive AI crawler traffic from Amazon overwhelmed their Git repository service, repeatedly causing instability and downtime. Despite configuring standard defensive measures—adjusting robots.txt, blocking known crawler user-agents, and filtering suspicious traffic—Iaso found that AI crawlers continued evading all attempts to stop them, spoofing user-agents and cycling through residential IP addresses as proxies.
Desperate for a solution, Iaso eventually resorted to moving their server behind a VPN and creating "Anubis," a custom-built proof-of-work challenge system that forces web browsers to solve computational puzzles before accessing the site. "It's futile to block AI crawler bots because they lie, change their user agent, use residential IP addresses as proxies, and more," Iaso wrote in a blog post titled "a desperate cry for help." "I don't want to have to close off my Gitea server to the public, but I will if I have to."
Iaso's story highlights a broader crisis rapidly spreading across the open source community, as what appear to be aggressive AI crawlers increasingly overload community-maintained infrastructure, causing what amounts to persistent distributed denial-of-service (DDoS) attacks on vital public resources. According to a comprehensive recent report from LibreNews, some open source projects now see as much as 97 percent of their traffic originating from AI companies' bots, dramatically increasing bandwidth costs, service instability, and burdening already stretched-thin maintainers.
Gov. Greg Abbott has until the end of the day Friday to call a special election for Texas’ 18th Congressional District to get the race on the ballot for the May 3 election. If he doesn’t, the seat could stay vacant for months.
Two contract workers died during the chemical leak southeast of Houston on Oct. 10, 2024. Another 13 contractors were taken to the hospital to be evaluated for hydrogen sulfide exposure.
The Galveston-Houston Immigrant Representation Project (GHIRP) is one of several nonprofits that filed a lawsuit against the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, its Office of Refugee Resettlement and the U.S. Department of the Interior. The federal contract that funds nonprofits like GHIRP is not being renewed.
Back in the early days of USB, Microsoft mouse devices often came with a USB plug at the end of the cable, but also came with a small green adapter to convert the USB type-A plug into a PS/2 plug. How did this adapter work?
USB and PS/2 are completely different protocols that are not compatible in any way. The adapter was purely mechanical (passive). It connected one set of pins to another, but it contained no circuitry. All of the smarts was in the mouse.
The mouse detected whether it received USB-like signals or PS/2-like signals on the pins and changed its behavior accordingly. The mouse did all the work.
It’s similar to the inexpensive electrical outlet adapters which convert between different national plug types. There are no smarts in the adapter. It just connects one set of plugs to another. The actual intelligence is in the appliance itself (or the power brick for the appliance).
So if you find one of these adapters in your junk drawer, be aware that it is not a universal mouse adapter. It is just a physical adapter; the actual conversion happens in the dual-bus mouse on the other end.
Bonus chatter: An Internet search shows that people still make these types of mouse adapters. I don’t know whether the ones you can buy today are smart adapters that translate between the PS/2 and USB signaling protocols, or whether they are purely mechanical adapters that rely on the mouse to do the work.
One “Grand Prize”: The Grand Prize winner, subject to verification, will receive a four-day, three-night trip (July 13, 2025, to July 16, 2025) for winner and one guest for the 2025 MLB® All-Star Game® presented by Mastercard currently scheduled to be played at Truist Park in Atlanta, GA, on July 15, 2025. Each Grand Prize includes round-trip, coach-class air travel for winner and one guest between a major airport nearest winner’s residence to Atlanta, TX; three nights’ hotel accommodations (one standard double-occupancy room) on July 13, 14, and 15, 2025, in Atlanta, GA, at a hotel determined by Sponsor in its sole discretion; two tickets for winner and one guest for the 2025 MLB® All-Star Game® presented by Mastercard (ARV: $5,000), plus a check for $2,142 for Grand Prize winner to use for taxes, meals or travel expenses in their sole discretion (ARV: $2,142) (collectively, the “Grand Prize”). ARV of entire Grand Prize: $7,142.
This is a lot of text, but one thing that stood out to me is that the airplane tickets are not to Atlanta, Georgia, which is where the event is taking place, but to Atlanta, Texas, a small town, population 5,765 according to the 2010 census.
Continuing the fine print…
Grand Prize does not include tickets to or for any other game, event or exhibition during the 2025 MLB® All-Star Week other than as specifically set forth herein. The exact seat locations for the game or any events and nature and duration provided by Prize Partners is determined by Sponsor and the applicable MLB Entities at their sole discretion and subject to availability. Sponsor and Prize Partners make no guarantee the check will cover all expenses incurred by winner. Ground transportation to/from airports and in Atlanta, GA, is not included. The winner (or their parent/legal guardian if a Minor) must claim the prize within two business days of being notified and return Prize Claim Documents within five business days of date documents are sent and will then be contacted by the Administrator with details to receive the prize. This Grand Prize is subject to Additional Prize Terms below.
The next part of the fine print also says that ground transportation between airports and Atlanta, Georgia is not included, so it’s on you to arrange the 10-hour drive between the two Atlantas. Maybe they expect you to hitchhike from Atlanta, Texas to Atlanta, Georgia. You’ll have to stay focused, because you have only two days to cover the distance. You’ll have to be even more focused coming back, because the All-Star Game takes place on the evening of the 15th, and your flight out of Texas is on the 16th. Depending on the precise timing of that return flight, driving may not be fast enough. You might have to take a flight to catch your flight.
Lats year’s All-Star Game was held in Texas, and this discrepancy may have been overlooked when T-Mobile adapted last year’s sweepstakes official rules to the 2025 edition.
The statement of the Grand Prize also says that the exact seat location, nature, and duration are subject to availability. This implies that they don’t actually possess the tickets yet. They’re going to try to obtain the tickets later, hoping they don’t get caught in a short squeeze, like the one that plagued the 2015 Super Bowl. And they might decide that there is no availability at all, so no tickets for you.
Baseball aficionados know that the week of the MLB All-Star Game is packed with events, the most popular of which is probably the Home Run Derby, for which T-Mobile is even the presenting sponsor! But nope, you don’t get tickets to any of those other things. Just the All-Star Game itself.
(The reason is that the All-Star Game is the part that has the best name recognition, even if it might not be the most exciting part.)
'Hello Houston' debuts on Monday, March 31, 2025, on Houston Public Media's News 88.7 KUHF weekdays from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., with the slogan, "Your connection to the heart of the Bayou City."The new radio show and podcast is hosted by former KPRC 2 chief meteorologist Frank Billingsley, Ernie Manouse, and Celeste Schurman, with former 97.9 The Box KBXX Madd Hatta Morning Show producer James
MADISON, WI—Amid his political action committee’s campaign to influence a closely contested Wisconsin Supreme Court election, Elon Musk told reporters Friday that he was amazed by how much cheaper bribing voters was in the Midwest. “I knew there was a lower cost of bribing out here, but I didn’t expect to find this many votes for essentially nothing,” said Musk, wondering aloud why anybody would continue to buy elections in coastal states given what they could get for $2 million in parts of Wisconsin, Indiana, and Illinois. “It’s amazing how far your money goes in subverting democracy in this part of the country. Don’t get me wrong, Wisconsin can’t really compare to the amenities that a city like New York offers with its easy access to Eric Adams, but out here, I can push through three times as many measures favorable to my businesses as I could back in California. Plus, I have all this money left over to spend on indulgences like spreading pro-Russia propaganda and bolstering far-right candidates in Germany.” At press time, Musk reportedly daydreamed about buying a large, low-cost plot of land in rural Wisconsin where he could someday build his own dream government.
A United Airlines flight headed to Shanghai from LAX last weekend had to turn around after two hours in the air when one of the pilots realized he had forgotten his passport. What do you think?
“What, he’s too good to suck and fuck his way through customs like the rest of us?”
Doug Mazeika, Systems Analyst
“Score! That’s two more free Black Adam viewings for the passengers.”
Amber Gosnell, Toad Hydrator
“Yet I’m the jerk for asking if we can turn back for my phone charger.”
VATICAN CITY—Saying the pontiff’s abrupt change in personality had put them all on edge, cardinals of the Roman Catholic Church confirmed Friday that they were weirded out by how religious the pope had become following his recent brush with death. “Ever since Pope Francis got out of the hospital, he’s been pretty much nonstop with all this Jesus stuff,” said Italian cardinal Camillo Ruini, adding that while Francis had always been pretty easygoing before his bout with bilateral pneumonia, a newfound preoccupation with everyone’s everlasting souls was making him very stressful to be around. “It’s always ‘God’ this, ‘the afterlife’ that. I get that almost dying is scary, but it’s a huge bummer to hear him raving about how he has a duty to the church like some kind of religious wack job. I mean, I even saw him praying the other day. I asked what he was doing, and he just said something about this being his ‘chosen path,’ whatever that means. Hopefully he’ll move on with his life and get back to normal soon, because I’m not sure I can stand another one of his big spiels about the devotion of Saint Joseph.” Cardinal Ruini went on to say it was especially disappointing because Pope Benedict XVI had actually really chilled out about religion after his health took a turn back in 2013.
A new Deloitte study found that about 50% of younger consumers prefer watching creator-driven content on social media over big-budget Hollywood entertainment, claiming they feel more connected to influencers than to actors. What do you think?
“In my day, young people had to suck it up and relate to Julia Roberts.”
Clint Martinez, Rug Designer
“A-list actors can be so cold and inaccessible with all their restraining orders.”
Donald Orelove, Unemployed
“I thought Marvel’s last unboxing video was pretty good.”
Crystal City, Virginia – Seeing an opportunity to capitalize on his company’s reputation as a bringer of chaos and death, Boeing CEO Kelly Ortberg has announced the signing of an agreement with the US Air Force to build the next generation of fighter planes. The announcement was made at the White House alongside representatives of […]
A small percentage of my friends, coworkers, and loved ones may soon join the ranks alongside other hot liquids I slurp for nourishment. But there’s also an equally probable chance that this won’t happen, which means you’re overreacting a bit.
People were once able to respectfully disagree, but civil discourse in America has been plagued with a bitter toxicity that has become increasingly difficult to ignore. The vitriol in your eyes when you see me is discouraging, Frank. You have crudely reduced me to “the man who will eat me,” which is unfair. When I see you, I see Frank from accounting, my best friend in the firm, a proud single father of two beautiful girls, and yes, someone who could potentially be made into soup.
Please do not resent me for casting my vote for the person who seemed to best represent my interests. I promise you that I’m acutely aware of the myriad issues America is facing, such as which bathrooms to use, the Little Mermaid’s skin tone, and what we are having for dinner. Both candidates offered compelling points on the economy, but I am not an economist. I’m also not Hollywood, Appalachia, or the Rust Belt. I’m just me, someone who was genuinely undecided until his tummy started to rumble after vaguely recollecting the one candidate’s platform included Operation: Everything Soup—a stance that would provide an unprecedented amount of soup-related dining options while also reducing our carbon footprint.
Calm down. If you actually researched the policy, you would know there’s a clearly defined pecking order. It goes criminals, illegal immigrants, protesters, and I forget the rest. You can check out the updated Food Chain on WhiteHouse.gov if you’re curious. Technically, everyone is on the menu, but I doubt people will be lining up to eat an accountant.
Besides, turning people into soup is just a pipe dream, which would never get support in the House or Senate. Do you really think Big Soup is going to let our government implement a state-of-the-art, sustainable, near-infinite supply of eco-friendly soup?
What’s that? Every branch of government is unified on this one? That’s… surprising.
Well, that just shows you that I voted for the right guy. You know how terribly inefficient our government is. How many decades have they been working on high-speed rails? Meanwhile, my guy’s been in office for a few months and was already able to turn every American into a viable food source. If any other president ended world hunger, you’d be demanding a damn Nobel Peace Prize. The smart thing is he’s being proactive by decidedly not ending world hunger. He’s going to put America first so other countries can’t mooch off us. I’m not trying to sound heartless, but we can’t be the world’s savior anymore. Unfortunately for everyone else, only America can eat itself.
The problem is you think this is all about you, but this is bigger than you, bigger than all of us. The Melting Pot began as an experiment and has since become a stew, a savory milestone that has other nations salivating. After everything America has done for us, we’ve been given a once-in-a-lifetime chance to sacrifice our lives to season the country we love. I mean, can you name anywhere else in the world that grants its citizens all the freedoms we take for granted?
Europe? That’s a continent, not a country. Besides, I don’t think the Second Amendment made it overseas, boss.
I know I’m not one of the at-risk people facing immediate liquefaction, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have an opinion. We’re finally in a position to balance the nation’s checkbook all while becoming innovators on the forgotten soup front, and the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and—
Wait, when were unpaid parking tickets added to Tier 1 of the eligibility matrix? That doesn’t even make sense.
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other than as specifically set forth herein. The exact seat locations for the game or any events and nature and duration provided by Prize Partners is determined by Sponsor and the applicable MLB Entities at their sole discretion and subject to availability. Sponsor and Prize Partners make no guarantee the check will cover all expenses incurred by winner. Ground transportation to/from airports and in Atlanta, GA, is not included. The winner (or their parent/legal guardian if a Minor) must claim the prize within two business days of being notified and return Prize Claim Documents within five business days of date documents are sent and will then be contacted by the Administrator with details to receive the prize. This Grand Prize is subject to Additional Prize Terms below.
