Shared posts

16 Jun 21:38

Exoplanet System

Sure, this exoplanet we discovered may seem hostile to life, but our calculations suggest it's actually in the accretion disc's habitable zone.
16 Jun 21:38

Worry Too Much

by Reza
16 Jun 21:38

Trump Condemns Vance Boelter’s Incomplete Hit List

by The Onion Staff
16 Jun 21:38

Trump Calls Shooting Victims To Rant About Tim Walz

by The Onion Staff

WASHINGTON—Reaching out to the surviving victims of Saturday’s shootings as they recovered from their numerous gunshot wounds, President Donald Trump reportedly called Minnesota state Sen. John Hoffman and his wife Yvette Hoffman on Monday to rant about Gov. Tim Walz. “Your governor was very unfair to me in the 2024 election—a real nasty piece of work, that Walz,” said Trump, raving over the phone to the hospitalized couple as he described how Minneapolis had turned into “a complete hellhole” under Walz’s leadership of the state. “Did you hear about his trips to China? Very suspicious, if you ask me. And he lied about his military service. So disgraceful! It really is a shame that he’s still in office. You both have my deepest condolences for all the suffering that moron has caused the great state of Minnesota.” According to reports, Trump assured the Hoffmans that he’d do everything in his power to make sure Walz was “next.”

The post Trump Calls Shooting Victims To Rant About Tim Walz appeared first on The Onion.

16 Jun 21:38

GOP Lawmakers Clarify Their Hate-Filled Rhetoric Only Meant To Stoke Fundraising

by The Onion Staff

WASHINGTON—Following the Minnesota attacks in which one Democratic state legislator was killed and another was shot nine times, Republican members of Congress issued a statement Monday clarifying that their hate-filled rhetoric was only meant to stoke fundraising. “While some argue that our inflammatory language was intended to dehumanize and fuel violence against our political rivals, we can assure you our only objective was to prompt others to open their pocketbooks and support our campaigns,” read a statement issued through the National Republican Congressional Committee that explained the repeated references to Democratic lawmakers being vermin who must be purged from America by any means necessary was merely a tool in the GOP’s fundraising playbook, not a green light to start shooting people. “It was never our purpose to inspire deadly attacks on our colleagues across the aisle when we called them Marxists attempting to destroy the American way of life and said they must be stopped at all costs. We just wanted voters to chip in $25 to help us meet our fundraising goals.” The statement concluded by asking for just $5 so that Republicans can take matters into their own hands to prevent a violent Democratic takeover of the country.

The post GOP Lawmakers Clarify Their Hate-Filled Rhetoric Only Meant To Stoke Fundraising appeared first on The Onion.

16 Jun 21:37

19.3 - My model needs work

(00:00:00) INTRO
(00:00:28) ACT 1
(00:02:42) ACT 2
(00:04:31) ACT 3
(00:07:15) THE SIGNAL
(00:10:14) ACT 4
(00:12:43) CREDITS

This week on Lost Terminal: Batteries fail, Seth performs, and Lyosha considers his options.
Lost Terminal will return next week!
🙏 CREDITS
  • Credits narrated by Lucy Stringer
    ❤️ Thank you so much to everyone who supports me, but especially my Patreon Producers:
  • Ada Phillips
  • Kit
  • Wynand Marais
  • Jade Felicity Bilkey
  • Stephen McCandless
  • Mike Schneider
16 Jun 21:36

South Padre Island officials worried about FEMA’s potential disaster spending cuts

by By Berenice Garcia
The Trump administration is proposing limits to the recreational facilities — including beaches — that are eligible for federal assistance.
16 Jun 21:36

At least six people are dead after flash floods hit West Virginia

Torrential rain caused flash floods in the US state of West Virgina that led to the deaths of at least six people, including a 3-year-old child.
16 Jun 21:36

Patton Oswalt (June 16, 2025)

by Michael Hagerty
On Monday's show: Ahead of his appearance at Comicpalooza this weekend, comedian and actor Patton Oswalt explains why he wanted to focus on the lesser villains of the superhero world for his own comic book series, "Minor Threats."
16 Jun 21:36

Juneteenth celebrations adapt after corporate sponsors pull support

by Nadia Lathan, The Associated Press
Canceled federal grants and businesses moving away from so-called brand activism have hit the bottom line of parades and other events heading into Thursday’s federal holiday, which celebrates the end of slavery in the United States.
16 Jun 21:35

update: I’m the weakest link on my team

by Ask a Manager

It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager and I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

Remember the letter-writer who worried they were the weakest link on their team? The first update was here, and here’s the latest.

I wrote to you last year about how unhappy I was to be the lowest performing person on my team. My job was killing my confidence and was making me miserable. I’m happy to report that things are very different now!

In December of 2024, I was notified that I was being laid off. I was given a month of employment to wrap up and a generous severance. It was honestly a blessing because it was like getting paid full-time to work on getting a better job. Before launching my job search in earnest, I spent a month improving my skills. I read books about best practices, worked on a side project, and even hired someone to mentor me. What a difference a little professional development made! I finally understood concepts that had always been fuzzy. I finally started to feel competent. In the new year, I took this confidence and started applying for jobs in my target area. I got some responses and was given technical assessments. Thanks in large part to the skilling-up I had done, I aced these, and was invited to move forward in the interview process for two roles. By January 16th, I had an offer! I took the job and even negotiated a higher salary.

In my new role, I was actually hired to be the resident expert in my background area. If you had told me that last October, I would have panicked and said that I couldn’t succeed in that. But here I am, doing fine! I’m not only following along successfully, I’m driving design and taking responsibility for a major piece of our project. My co-workers ask for my help with things they can’t solve and value my feedback on my their work.

I’ve tried to figure out what’s responsible for things going so differently. I think it helps that my new co-workers expect me to succeed. In my old role, no one had any confidence in me. But now people rely on my judgment and look to me as an example. That propels me to put forth the best work I can. I used to just try to get by, because that’s all I thought I was capable of. But now I always make sure I’m following best practices, because I’m setting the standard for the rest of my team.

It also helps that I’m now working in a new area that’s very well documented. There are whole books I can go to for guidance, whereas my old project was so proprietary that there was nowhere to go for help outside of my immediate coworkers. Whenever I’m figuring something out now, I can research it and make an informed decision. I’ve become much more skilled in the few months I’ve been working here because of all the reading I’ve done to support my work.

My job is not perfect, and I still have some of the same weaknesses I did in my old role. But overall it’s a world of difference. I feel like I’m a different person. If anyone reading this is unhappy in their job but afraid of looking for a new one, I hope you are lucky enough to be laid off like I was :)

The post update: I’m the weakest link on my team appeared first on Ask a Manager.

16 Jun 21:34

updates: my BFF has been my employee’s therapist for years, company wants us to pay for a work trip, and more

by Ask a Manager

It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager and I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

1. I just found out my BFF has been my employee’s therapist for years

The advice helped. When I wrote to you, I was in a really sad place where I had no idea what to do and felt trapped and alone. The situation was so messy and sad, but reading your feedback and the comments helped me realize the scope of the situation, and all the parties’ roles.

I told Bob what happened and that Lori had violated his privacy as a patient. I told him if he wanted to report Lori I would support him. He decided not to. At that point it had been over a year since he had been her patient, so I left that up to him. Some of the comments asked why I was upset with Bob. At this point I want to move on, but just to explain: Bob used what I said to intentionally point a negative light on me, for what reason I’ll never know. He did apologize and said he doesn’t remember the conversation with Lori, but the damage was done. I have distanced myself from him as much as I can, but we still have a professional relationship.

I acknowledge my role in this. I said a negative comment about my friend, that was wrong and I have certainly learned from my mistake. I have not spoken to Lori since it happened. Although Bob and I played a role in this situation, in my opinion the crux of the issue is her lack of respect for boundaries, both with patients and friends. I know there might be questions about how I handled this, and I get that! This situation is so so complicated, but I have tried my best to do the next right thing, and I really appreciate the feedback I got, it truly did help me get to a better place.

2. My boss said I couldn’t leave for lunch on a day we had an office party (#4 at the link)

I’ve now been at the company for six months and have a lot more context for general culture here, mainly that my boss tries to be flexible, but also doesn’t always verbalize what she thinks of as “small” issues. For example, I had a mandated week-long training in another city. The company paid for my hotel, training program, and a per diem allowance. The week took place over Martin Luther King Jr. Day, which is a company holiday. However, I worked on that day because training took place. When I got back, our department HR rep/administrative assistant had a whole conversation with my boss, advocating for me to have an “off-the-books” day off to compensate. She did agree, but was a little bit taken aback because “why would it matter.” However, she’s also very understanding about all employees sometimes needing to come in late in the morning (and just flexing the time later in the day or week) or whatnot.

I’ve also started using our informal check-ins to be more direct with her about expectations. For example, if she wants me to continue including her in email chains that aren’t relevant (I swear, people who need anything, no matter how small, cc her in everything) or if there’s information I can store a certain way so when she needs it for higher level stuff she can use it more easily. She was very taken aback by these questions, but seemed to really appreciate them as well!

All this to say that while we haven’t had another “office party” in the time I’ve been here, I feel like I’ve laid some effective groundwork so when I need to have that conversation with her, she’ll be more receptive to my approach and I’ll feel more confident in suggesting solutions. Being in this workplace and hearing about my spouse’s workplace (which has lovely people but the communication is terrible) has really made me appreciative of clear, direct communication. So great professional growth at the very least!

3. Company wants us to pay for a work trip (#3 at the link)

Thank you so much for your advice! Reading your response and the comments from the readers helped me realize how crazy and severely toxic that work environment was.

I stood my ground and did not go to the work trip along with other admins. I was heavily grilled as to why I didn’t attend and explained it was due to finances. I was told the company was generously paying for lunches and offering a partial work day (the remainder would be unpaid or had to use PTO) to head over to the destination (the executives attending refused WFH for admins, even though all of them were working from home or headed out the day prior) and that I was paid enough to budget correctly to attend work events. I was of course paid below industry standard, for what it’s worth.

Alison, this company was so cheap when the bathrooms in the building were out of order for all employees, they took us to a restaurant for a buffet style meal and told us how grateful we should be that they paid for a lunch at a place with working restrooms. The lunch was an hour and a half and the company was adamant about the whole time being unpaid for admins, so it was a longer workday for all of us who weren’t exempt to make up our hours for a mandatory lunch while driving down the street to a Starbucks to use the restroom for the rest of the workday.

Immediately afterwards, every minor issue was pointed out and I suddenly was written up for every issue that was never a problem the prior eight months I worked at the company (like taking a 32 minute unpaid lunch instead of clocking in at exactly 30 minutes). I was of course shortly terminated and a current employee told me they do that to everyone they decide to let go because they fight every single unemployment claim.

I’m so happy to say I completely got out of that industry and am working at a new workplace that is so much healthier! I work less hours with less stress and am being paid so much more. My previous workplace is still hemorrhaging employees, is nowhere near close to selling it to a buyer, and has effectively destroyed their corporate reputation within the industry.

4. Should I put Phi Beta Kappa on my resume? (#5 at the link)

Thank you again for your advice, 10 years after answering my question. I did include Phi Beta Kappa on my resumes, in the Professional Memberships section. I don’t know if it ever helped or hindered my job search, but I am now in a position that highly values professional credentials. All workers have them listed in bylines, email signatures and on name badges. I have my master’s degree listed there (but not Phi Beta Kappa!).

My question was published at a time when the commentariat was a little spicy, but I was able to take away that a lot of people didn’t know what Phi Beta Kappa was. It is an honor society for top achieving students in the liberal arts and sciences. Traditionally, many recipients have served in the federal administration, on the Supreme Court, or won a Nobel prize. It was a great honor for me as a first-generation college student. Growing up, I had no exposure to corporate or white collar professionals and as such I didn’t know if Phi Beta Kappa was a ticket into those kinds of jobs. Your answer really clarified my understanding. Thank you.

The post updates: my BFF has been my employee’s therapist for years, company wants us to pay for a work trip, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

16 Jun 21:14

update: my boss hasn’t talked to me since his drunken striptease

by Ask a Manager

It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager and I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

Remember the letter-writer whose boss hadn’t talked to her since his drunken striptease? Here’s the update.

The commentator who stated, “In vino veritas,” hit the mark.

Days after my question appeared online, I sat, scrolling through comments, crying into my wine. I intended to phone a friend. Instead, I drunk dialed my boss — on his work phone.

Will answered. Immediately recognizing that I was drunk, he said, “Hang on. I’ll call you right back on my personal phone.”

In the call that followed, he confessed to having a crush on me since his very first day as my supervisor. And he admitted that he wanted me to join him for a sexual liaison in the loft. I admitted that as much as I liked him, I didn’t like being pursued by someone who was married.

You read right — married. In my initial letter, I lied to protect him. The first lie was saying he was divorced. The second lie was claiming the tip happened in August. Really, it occurred in September.

Rather than agree to keeping everything professional and above board from then on, Will insisted that he and his wife had separated. Then he convinced me to engage in phone sex. After that he pursued me relentlessly. And I’ll admit, I liked the attention.

After swearing his divorce was final, Will planned a work-trip rendezvous for us in April 2024. Once he got what he wanted, he no longer had any use for me and did exactly what you said he’d do — lay the groundwork to fire me.

Will got a new supervisor in June 2024. She took an immediate dislike to me, often requiring me to work during approved leave, work 7 days per week, shorting my pay, etc. This culminated in me being required to work 27 consecutive days in January. At first, I thought he was going along with it because he was afraid that if I spoke up, he’d lose his job. That’d simply make him a coward, rather than malicious. Later, I learned I was wrong.

Other supervisors began talking. Before me, there was an employee who got involved with Will and ended up being transferred. I watched as Will started grooming another employee after he lost interest in me. Aside from the three of us, Will admitted to having an affair with another woman. And wouldn’t you know it — he and his wife are still together. Yeah, cheaters gonna cheat.

The constant stress resulted in a mental breakdown. I reported the hostile work environment to HR and the EEOC, then spent 3 months on FMLA. That ended up protecting my job long enough for the government to start offering voluntary separation incentive programs. I left my job with $25,000 in cash.

I am still emotionally broken and working through the betrayal trauma I suffered at Will’s hands. I have no idea what the future will hold. My EEOC complaint was accepted and is moving forward, so I hope there will be justice in the end.

The post update: my boss hasn’t talked to me since his drunken striptease appeared first on Ask a Manager.

16 Jun 21:09

update: my drunk coworkers are gossiping about me not drinking

by Ask a Manager

It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager and I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

Remember the letter-writer whose drunk coworkers were gossiping about her not drinking? Here’s the update.

Ultimately, nothing really happened, at least that I was aware of – and that was what I asked for. So for me, it was a positive outcome, even if it wasn’t a dramatic one.

First, to clarify, I was worried about how my boss would react to gossip, to hearing my news from someone else first. With how my coworkers were acting, I didn’t know what they would do or say, and it freaked me out! I spoke with that partner I trusted and they were really helpful in deciding how to navigate all the personalities in our office. They were also appropriately aghast at the whole story. In the end, they offered, among other options, to let our office manager know about it all if and when I gave the OK. I took them up on that offer. I was so anxious (and frankly, hormonal!) about the whole thing, I just wanted it off my mind.

We got test results back about a week later and hit that 12-week mark, with everything looking great for baby. So I let my boss know, and he was very positive and has been for the remainder of my pregnancy! Everyone in the office with children told me that they never felt like they couldn’t put their kids first, and the boss was always supportive of that. So I feel good on that front!

Sara and Rose both apologized…after seeing me in that trusted partner’s office. I think that in itself made them nervous enough to leave the issue alone. Even so, I used basically your script with them. It felt so satisfying, and it was enough closure to the issue for me – I didn’t need or want to know how the office would handle it after that. I kept more distance from them, which was easy to do – we were not particularly close to begin with and don’t work directly together.

I’m happy to report that I’m currently on parental leave, and welcomed a healthy, adorable (if I do say so myself) baby into the world very recently! My coworkers in general were all lovely and supportive throughout my pregnancy. The people I work with most directly were all wonderful! The coworkers who were in my corner have been hugely helpful in covering my work and making the transition easy for me, and I’m getting to enjoy those sweet newborn snuggles. They might just make up for the sleep deprivation!

Lastly, a credit to your commenters – in general, folks didn’t impose their opinions on how I approached my own health during pregnancy, which was much appreciated. I had done my homework and knew what I personally felt comfortable with. And as for law firms being dysfunctional…? 100%. While there are a lot of “big personalities” in my office, I really like the people I work with directly, I have a lot of flexibility, and I’m generally happy with where I’m at.

The post update: my drunk coworkers are gossiping about me not drinking appeared first on Ask a Manager.

16 Jun 18:28

What To Know About The Diddy Trial

by The Onion Staff

Music mogul Sean “Diddy” Combs is currently facing charges of racketeering, kidnapping, and coercing women into sexual activities in federal court. Here is everything you need to know about the trial.

Q: Who is Diddy?

A: Okay, we get it, you were born in 2002.

Q: Is the trial televised?

A: No, you’ll have to wait for Ryan Murphy to get around to it.

Q: Is it true that witnesses are suggesting Diddy could be bisexual?

A: Bisexuals have suffered enough, leave them out of this.

Q: Why’d Diddy blow up Kid Cudi’s car?

A: He is an introvert and direct confrontation makes him nervous.

Q: Is there any aspect of this trial that isn’t extremely disturbing?

A: The architecture of the courthouse itself seems innocuous enough.

The post What To Know About The Diddy Trial appeared first on The Onion.

16 Jun 18:27

Man Opens Up About Childhood Trauma Of Being Forced To Put On Jammies

by The Onion Staff
16 Jun 18:27

Meet the gay men supporting the Conservative Party: “We hate trans people more than we like having rights”

by Brigid Klyne-Simpson

CHILLIWACK, BC – Recently, organizers of the Fraser Valley Trans Pride Festival ran into opposition when a group proclaiming themselves ‘Homos for Common Sense’ protested outside of their organizing office in the city centre. “We need to stop this radical, destructive, communist transgender menace,” said Sid Phillips, the group’s leader. “I mean, this critical gender […]

The post Meet the gay men supporting the Conservative Party: “We hate trans people more than we like having rights” appeared first on The Beaverton.

16 Jun 18:27

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Soul

by Zach Weinersmith


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Tragedy is when the apes fight until everyone is dead. Comedy is when the apes fight until everyone is married.


Today's News:
16 Jun 18:26

Founder of 23andMe buys back company out of bankruptcy auction

by Sujeet Indap, Financial Times

Anne Wojcicki has been declared the winner of a bankruptcy auction for 23andMe, the genetics testing start-up she founded, prevailing over a rival bid from Regeneron Pharmaceuticals.

TTAM Research Institute, a non-profit public benefit company also founded by Wojcicki, won the auction with a $305 million bid for the 23andMe assets, which will not come with any company liabilities attached.

23andMe filed for bankruptcy in March after rejecting several go-private offers from Wojcicki in recent years. Regeneron was declared the winning bidder in May after the company accepted a $256 million bid in a previous auction.

Read full article

Comments

16 Jun 15:39

#Kento #Cye #RoninWarriors

16 Jun 15:39

On and off rain chances remain this week, helping to keep a lid on temperatures

by Eric Berger

In brief: After last week’s widespread showers and thunderstorms we expect more rain this week. But with the potential for flooding diminished, we are dropping our Stage 1 flood alert. Daily rain chances should also help keep highs in the vicinity of 90 degrees.

A week of rain, more to come

The region received a much needed dose of rainfall over the last week, with totals varying from 2 inches (generally in Katy and points west) up to nearly 10 inches (near Baytown). Most areas fell somewhere in between with a total of 4 to 6 inches. The rains were spread out enough that they did not cause too significant of flooding issues, which is not always easy to pull off in June, when rain can come down in bunches.

Rainfall totals across the last seven days. (Harris County FWS)

For the coming week we are going to see a ridge of high pressure attempt to build in from the south, but the Houston region should remain on its periphery. Generally, then, we can expect to see daily rain chances but probably not conditions as well organized as last week. So keep an umbrella handy, yes, but we are not too concerned about flash flooding. For this reason we are (finally) dropping our Stage 1 flood alert for the region.

Monday

Most locations, especially south and east of Highway 59/Interstate 69 will see some rain today. And we cannot rule out some stronger thunderstorms this afternoon which may drop up to about 1 inch. Skies will otherwise be partly sunny, with high temperatures in the upper 80s to lower 90s, and fairly light winds from the south. Low temperatures tonight will only drop into the upper 70s for most locations.

Tuesday and Wednesday

Rain chances are lower during the middle of the week, due to the aforementioned high pressure, perhaps around 30 percent daily. I expect both of these days will see high temperatures around 90 degrees, or a tick or two higher, to go along with partly to mostly sunny skies. There is a 100 percent chance of mosquitoes after the last week or so of rains. I’m afraid they’re going to be bad, y’all.

High temperatures should be steady for the coming week. (Weather Bell)

Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday

The end of the week is likely to see a pattern of partly sunny days and high temperatures in the low 90s. Highs will depend on whether it rains during the peak heating of the afternoon hours. And I do think it will rain. Each day will see around a 50 percent chance of showers and thunderstorms, with “storm-o-clock” coming during the afternoon across the Houston region. If you have outdoor plans this weekend, I’m not anticipating a total washout, but you’ll want to have a thunderstorm contingency.

Next week

At this point it looks like this slightly unsettled pattern will continue into at least the middle of next week, with daily shower chances helping to keep temperatures at a moderate level (for Houston) in late June.

16 Jun 15:36

Teacher Required To Provide Own Salary

by The Onion Staff

BALTIMORE—As public schools across the country increasingly face budget shortfalls, educators like Patricia Harper, a fifth-grade teacher in Baltimore, have reportedly found it more necessary than ever to provide their own salaries. “I’m committed to coming into this classroom every day and helping my students learn, but in order to do this, I’m now required to dip into my own pocket to cover my annual income,” said the 10-year veteran of Baltimore City Public Schools, a district with more than 5,000 teachers who together would need to come up with an estimated $340 million to meet their annual salary requirements. “While the PTA has held some fundraisers to pitch in, I unfortunately can’t make rent with the $23 they gave each teacher from the proceeds of bingo night. Still, I’m hopeful I can stretch the funds I have until the end of the school year, so long as the custodian doesn’t catch me sleeping under my desk or swiping pizza burgers from the cafeteria for dinner.” At press time, sources confirmed the elementary school where Harper worked had laid her off, dramatically improving her financial stability.

The post Teacher Required To Provide Own Salary appeared first on The Onion.

16 Jun 15:35

No One Sure Why Kristi Noem Wearing Firefighter Helmet, Night-Vision Goggles, High Heels, Wet Suit

by The Onion Staff

WASHINGTON—Racking their brains as they tried to determine the express purpose of the homeland security secretary’s outfit, sources confirmed Monday they were not sure why Kristi Noem was wearing a firefighter helmet, night-vision goggles, high heels, and a wet suit. “Huh, that’s odd, but there must be some kind of reason for it, right?” said one of the sources, who frowned as they took in the sight of the overdressed DHS chief adjusting the quiver of arrows she wore over her back. “We’re in a conference room, but maybe she’s going somewhere afterwards? But where exactly would that be? I don’t remember any of the previous homeland security secretaries wearing that, but maybe I just wasn’t paying attention?” At press time, Noem was reportedly putting on a ghillie suit. 

The post No One Sure Why Kristi Noem Wearing Firefighter Helmet, Night-Vision Goggles, High Heels, Wet Suit appeared first on The Onion.

16 Jun 15:35

SWAT Team Robot Successfully Dismantles Black Man

by The Onion Staff

LUBBOCK, TX—Saying the threat posed too great a risk to the life of its officers, the Lubbock Police Department confirmed Thursday its SWAT team had deployed a robot that succeeded in dismantling a potentially dangerous Black man.

A spokesperson for the department, which reportedly received dozens of calls from individuals claiming to have seen a Black man at a crowded downtown bus shelter, stated that a perimeter was established and the area was promptly evacuated. Law enforcement officials explained that in situations where a Black man is detected and cannot be destroyed by conventional police methods, the protocol is to send in a tactical robot. 

“We get plenty of false alarms and hoaxes, but if there’s a real chance we’re dealing with an actual Black man, we’ll always prioritize the safety of our personnel and call in the unmanned unit,” SWAT team commander Lt. Wyatt Hayes said of the robot that, with the aid of sensors mounted on its manipulator arm, could be operated at a distance of more than 1,000 feet from the Black man. “It’s our obligation to keep our officers out of harm’s way if we can, and we’re fortunate to have the technology that enables us to do that.”

“But what’s important right now is that residents remain calm,” Hayes added. “This is exactly the kind of threat police train for.”

As it advanced toward the target on its dual, tanklike treads, the robot assessed the scene with its camera and confirmed that an actual Black man was in fact present. According to police, the robot then began transmitting critical visual information to the specialist who would guide it throughout the delicate dismantling operation.

“You might think you’re well outside the radius where a Black man can do you any harm, but you don’t truly know what you’re up against until you’re in there,” said Sgt. Roland Meyer, visibly perspiring as he remotely extended the robot’s arm and carefully guided its gripper claw into position. “In this line of work, it’s impossible to be too cautious.” 

“But the public is counting on us to protect them from this kind of thing,” Meyer continued. “At the end of the day, we just want the people we serve to feel safe in this community.”

Officers eyed a nearby monitor anxiously as Meyer rotated the robot’s gripper and, once the appropriate angle had been achieved, began the dismantling procedure. After several tense minutes of precision maneuvers, the Black man was successfully neutralized and a relieved Meyer flashed a thumbs-up to a round of applause.

With no further risk from the Black man, police reopened the area to the public. While some locals returned and quickly resumed their day, others said they weren’t ready to go back yet.

“I’m grateful to the police, but it’s still unsettling to know there was a Black man in my very own neighborhood,” said Darlene Hoover, a resident of a nearby apartment building who told reporters she would probably stay with friends several miles away for the time being. “For all I know, there could be one in a restaurant or at the park or the supermarket. I just don’t know if I’ll ever feel comfortable here again.”

The dismantling follows an incident last month in which a Black man was spotted on a plane at Lubbock International Airport but was successfully detonated by police just before takeoff.

The post SWAT Team Robot Successfully Dismantles Black Man appeared first on The Onion.

16 Jun 15:35

Ah Fuck, They Painted The Brick

by The Onion Staff

Beautiful Georgian home in a perfect neighborhood, your literal dream home, except get this: They painted the fucking brick. What kind of moron would paint brick?

The post Ah Fuck, They Painted The Brick appeared first on The Onion.

16 Jun 15:34

Fake Flight Attendant Flew 120 Flights For Free

by The Onion Staff

A 35-year-old man who falsely claimed to be a flight attendant for six years to book over 120 free flights was convicted by a federal jury. What do you think?

“That’s nothing—I was pretending to be the judge.”

Ivan Nettles, Paint Stripper

“Fucker never brought me my Diet Coke, either.”

Andrew Maney, Leek Chopper

“I think at that point you are a flight attendant.”

Fiona Belchak, Subpoena Filer

The post Fake Flight Attendant Flew 120 Flights For Free appeared first on The Onion.

16 Jun 15:34

So… no plot for 30 minutes, then suddenly all hell breaks loose.

So… no plot for 30 minutes, then suddenly all hell breaks loose.

16 Jun 15:34

Trump’s FTC may impose merger condition that forbids advertising boycotts

by Jon Brodkin

The Federal Trade Commission is reportedly pitching a merger condition that would forbid advertising agencies from boycotting platforms based on political content, in a move that could benefit Elon Musk's X social network and President Trump's own Truth Social platform.

As the FTC reviews a proposed merger between Omnicom Group and Interpublic Group, two large ad agencies, The New York Times reported yesterday that a "proposed consent decree would prevent the merged company from boycotting platforms because of their political content by refusing to place their clients' advertisements on them, according to two people briefed on the matter."

This is one of several moves the FTC has reportedly made to discourage ad boycotts that have riled conservatives. The FTC currently has only Republican commissioners because President Trump fired both Democrats, who allege in a lawsuit that the firings were illegal. Trump also declared sweeping executive power over the FTC and other agencies that were created to operate independently from the White House.

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16 Jun 15:13

Pizza activity spikes just before reports of Israel attacking Iran

by Nathan Yau

The Pentagon Pizza Report tracks pizza place activity near the Pentagon. From the Guardian:

The timing of Israel’s plan to attack Iran was top-secret. But Washington pizza delivery trackers guessed something was up before the first bombs fell.

About an hour before Iranian state TV first reported loud explosions in Tehran, pizza orders around the Pentagon went through the roof, according to a viral X account claiming to offer “hot intel” on “late-night activity spikes” at the US military headquarters.

The Pizza Meter Theory has been around since the 1990s, which is something new I learned today.

The Pizza Meter, also known as the Pentagon Pizza Orders Theory, is a theory proposing that upticks in pizza orders received by restaurants near the Pentagon can predict international conflicts and times of crisis in the U.S. government. The concept originated in the early 1990s after a Domino’s Pizza franchise owner in Northern Virginia near the Pentagon named Frank Meeks, told newspapers that before major national security events, he saw a noticeable uptick in business.

I guess there is some truth to the theory.

It reminds me of the Waffle House Index and Canadian pee times during a hockey game. What other unexpected indicators are there for real-time events?

(via)

Tags: Pentagon Pizza Report, pizza, Pizza Meter Theory

16 Jun 12:44

Tropical disturbances likely to bring significant rain to Mexico and possibly far south Texas later this week

by Matt Lanza

In brief: A developing storm in the Eastern Pacific may combine with an unlikely to develop disturbance in the Bay of Campeche to deliver a significant rainfall to Mexico or parts of far South Texas later this week. Otherwise, the tropics appear quiet.

We do not expect any tropical development in the Atlantic this week. But there is still a disturbance to discuss in the Bay of Campeche later this week, as well as continued Pacific activity.

Bay of Campeche disturbance

While we do not expect any organized development in the Gulf or Caribbean this week, a disturbance we’ve been discussing for about 7 to 10 days now is going to arrive in the Bay of Campeche around midweek. Because of how close it is to the coast and the steering currents aloft, it should quickly move ashore before it has any time to develop.

The weather is busy along the coasts of Central America and Mexico, but there is no organization to any of these disturbances. (Weathernerds.org)

The overall upper pattern once it gets inland, however, will feature a slowing system, as well as assistance from what should become Tropical Storm or Hurricane Erick (currently Invest 94E) in the Pacific. With Erick coming ashore likely in Oaxaca or Guerrero, and the Bay of Campeche disturbance coming ashore between Tampico and Veracruz, we are likely to see a substantial amount of moisture plow into that part of Mexico.

4 to 8 inches of rain is expected over the next week in portions of the Mexican Gulf Coast, as well as in southern Mexico near Oaxaca. (StormVista)

Models are currently hinting that 4 to 8 inches (100-200 mm) could fall in eastern Mexico from this scenario (and in southern Mexico). It is possible that some of that moisture makes it as far north as the Rio Grande Valley, which could also lead to heavy rainfall in parts of South Texas. We’ll keep tabs on this through the week to see how the rainfall forecast evolves across Mexico and Texas.

Eastern Pacific

Invest 94E in the eastern Pacific, as noted above, is likely to become a tropical storm or (perhaps) hurricane named Erick this week. The ultimate destination is probably somewhere in Oaxaca or Guerrero in southern Mexico. Models have been somewhat polarizing on how strong this one gets, but in general,

Invest 94E in the Pacific is likely to come ashore somewhere between Oaxaca and Guerrero later this week, with a rather wide spread in potential track outcomes. (Tomer Burg)

Right now the disturbance sits off the Mexican coast, rather disorganized. But over the next 24 to 48 hours, we should see 94E slowly get together. From there it should track northwest toward the coast of southern Mexico, arriving by Thursday. There’s a pretty wide berth of options with this one as you can see above. While the track density seems to point it toward Playa Zipolite or Puerto Escondido, I would not focus too much on the direct track of this one, as the moisture from it is likely to cause widespread flooding issues in Mexico later this week.

Looking ahead

The somewhat favorable pattern that established over Central America and has helped fuel a lot of the Pacific activity this month looks to break down over the next week or two. We may start to see a few tropical waves emerge off Africa with a little more robustness before June is out, but I don’t currently believe the pattern looks especially favorable for any meaningful tropical development in the Atlantic over the next 2 weeks. We’ll see if that changes at all.