NEW YORK—Calling the innovation a remarkable step forward in removing fallible judgment from the game, MLB executives announced Friday that they would be attempting to reduce human error with new electronic bat boys. “Until now, MLB has depended on the discernment of 13-year-olds to ferry gear to and from the batter’s box, and the reality is they are susceptible to mistakes,” said MLB commissioner Rob Manfred, noting that the robotic helpers could identify discarded equipment with 99.7% accuracy, and also came preprogrammed with a variety of encouraging phrases like “Good cut!” and “Wait for your pitch—you’ve got this!” to dole out to players during at-bats. “After testing the automatons in Triple-A, we’re ready to deploy them in the Show. Admittedly, there have been a few bugs, like an electronic bat boy’s hydraulic arm launching to retrieve a foul ball at 120 mph and striking a fan, or a couple of instances of bat boys bludgeoning players’ knees while attempting to hand them bats, but our engineers are confident these issues have been corrected. And given the efficiency with which these androids perform their duties, we expect they’ll be able to speed up games by an average of 30 minutes.” Manfred added that teams would still have human bat boys at games, but their role would largely be relegated to carrying off robots that froze up near home plate.
NEW YORK—Warning that curt greetings and aggressive demands could be a sign someone was a scammer, JPMorgan Chase officials reminded customers Friday to only share banking information with people who seemed nice. “Fraudsters can use your online passwords and PINs to drain your accounts before you even notice, so always take extra precautions to verify they have kind eyes, a welcoming laugh, and a pleasant demeanor,” said Chase chief information security officer Patrick Opet, advising anyone who had shared their information with someone who didn’t give them a good handshake or ask how their day was going to contact the bank immediately. “People can use this information not only to take your money, but also to steal your identity, so look for signs the person requesting the information has a heart of gold, or at least good vibes. And remember people can hide their identity when contacting you over the phone or email, so only respond to people whose promise that they are who they say they are sounds genuine. Don’t give them your account number if they fail to use terms like ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ If you are really unsure, use a third-party personality test to see whether this person is a caring and supportive friend before you share any banking info.” Opet added that if you have any suspicions that the person asking for your username and password is untrustworthy, they should at least seem desperate enough and have a good reason for lying to you.
WASHINGTON—In a dire health emergency that forced staffers to quickly mobilize to save the Cabinet member’s life, Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was reportedly rushed to the gym Friday after suffering a sudden heart attack. “Quick, get him on an elliptical, now! He’s fading!” said HHS staffer Kathy Guiles, attempting to hook the secretary up to an IV of pre-workout supplements, creatine, and raw milk to regulate his vital levels. “Is anyone around here a trainer by chance? We need a CrossFit instructor, stat! Okay, prop him up against the pec deck—he can offset the cardiac arrest by doing some weighted chest flies. Oh God, he’s flatlining! Cut his shirt off, somebody get him a spotter. If we don’t hurry, he could slip into a coma and lose all his muscle mass.” At press time, sources close to the situation assured the nation Kennedy was taking it easy after his health episode by just doing some jiujitsu in the sauna.
LOS ANGELES—Touting the success of his intensive anti-aging regimen Project Blueprint, tech multimillionaire Bryan Johnson announced Monday that he had split back into a sperm and an egg. “Thanks to my team of regenerative health physicians, I have effectively reversed the aging process and have never looked or felt more healthy and youthful,” said the single spermatozoon and ovum simultaneously from inside a petri dish, telling reporters that techniques such as light therapy, blood transfusions, and a strict diet of plant-based foods had allowed him to shed dozens of pounds as well as all his organs and external features. “Even a few months ago I was a tired, unattractive zygote burned out from mitotic division, but thanks to ever more experimental techniques I have been able to achieve the ideal physical form that humankind has searched for since time immemorial. I feel like I could swim a marathon right now!” Johnson added that he planned to extend his life cycle even further by injecting the sperm and egg into a prepubescent boy and girl for maximum effectiveness.
The $1.3 million project will slim an eight-block section of the street from four lanes to three and add bike lanes in an effort to make travel safer and smoother.
In April, one of the city’s three reservoirs received its first inflows in eight months. But narrowly avoiding an immediate disaster doesn’t mean that Corpus Christi has solved its water crisis.
After videos showing robots in and around the airline's planes, Southwest banned humanoid and animal-like devices, saying their batteries could be dangerous.
Based on permits filed this week, Mi Tienda may be headed for Sharpstown. Mi Tienda is a Hispanic-oriented grocery store chain run by HEB, with two current locations, both in the Houston area. The filings provide an address of 7140 Southwest Fwy, Houston, TX 77074, which does not correspond to any existing structure and is shown on Google Maps as the same parcel as PlazAmericas Mall, formerly known as Sharpstown Mall. While this vague address ...
DORF, an artist-run nonprofit arts advocacy program and exhibition space in Austin, has announced the inaugural residents of its Fishbowl artist residency program, so named for the space’s distinctive floor-to-ceiling windows.
For three residency periods each year, DORF will select two Austin-based artists and one visiting artist to occupy the space for one month. The residency transforms the venue’s gallery into a public-facing artist studio.
Each resident receives a $2,000 stipend. Also, a partnership with Carpenter Hotel, located one block from DORF, will provide complimentary living space, daily food and beverage stipends, and honoraria for public programming, including artist talks.
Andie Flores
Andie Flores, an Austin-based performance artist, will be in residence from Monday, June 1, through Saturday, June 27. Ms. Flores centers her racialized body in experimental comedic performances addressing issues including Latin American diasporic culture, drag culture, femininity, and citizenship. Her work has been presented at Fusebox Festival, MASS Gallery, and the Museum of Human Achievement in Austin, and at Presa House in San Antonio.
Sam Mayer
Sam Mayer, a Houston playwright, will be in residence from Monday, August 10, through Saturday, September 5. His 2022 work poolboy00 was presented at Co-Lab Projects in Austin, bringing an online persona into real life through karaoke, music, a swimming pool, and other elements, and his collaborative work with Ms. Flores, 3 Scenes from Queer Utopia, was included in the 2026 OUTsider Festival.
Members of the Kitchen Table artist’s collective in Houston
Kitchen Table, described on the DORF website as “an insurgent printshop and puppet interventionists collective at the intersection of art and liberation movements,” will be in residence from Tuesday, September 8, through Saturday, September 26. The collective of artist performers from Houston is led by Kill Joy, an Odessa-born artist selected as an American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) of Texas artist-in-residence in 2024.
In addition to daily visibility, the artists will offer open studio hours for public access each Saturday, from Noon to 5 p.m., during their residencies. According to the DORF website, the Fishbowl Residency encourages engagement with “themes of temporality, transparency, and exposure within a living, evolving environment where process becomes performance and the boundaries between private creation and public encounter begin to dissolve.”
Visit the DORF website to learn more about the inaugural residency program and the venue’s exhibitions and programming.
The newly minted and remarkable Ismaili Center in Houston is a big deal. It is in fact a huge and generous offering to the city, one that incorporates exquisite architectural design with forward-thinking programming. Great things are sure to emerge from the space along with the nascent landscaping that adorns the lavish outdoor grounds.
Ismaili Center Houston’s Garden of Light
The Aga Khan Foundation USA owns the 11-acre site situated in Montrose, alongside Allen Parkway. The Iranian-born British architect Farshid Moussavi is credited with the design of the Center, and her vision is remarkably realized. The massive structure is stunning. When viewed in the evening while driving down Montrose Boulevard it resembles a bejeweled fortress accented with Arabic motifs and abstract patterns found rampant in Islamic architecture. The form feels light and effortless, attributes sadly missing in Steven Holl’s Glassell addition to the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston. Where the latter serves as a venue for an important arts contribution to the city (but little else), the former astounds with its attention to detail and well conceived relationship to light as a driving motif. It is a joy to wander around the building as well as the surrounding landscaped grounds that will serve the public well long into the future.
Reza Filsoofi and Raheleh Filsoofi at the Ismaili Center Houston. Image courtesy of the Ismaili Center Houston
The recent performance, Listening: The Fourth String, an immersive installation by visual artist Raheleh Filsoofi and musician Reza Filsoofi, celebrated the space with a generous program of traditional Persian music, accompanied by several local musicians along with poetic recitations and good will that was relished by the standingroom-only audience. The artistic duo created a ShahTár, an experimental four-stringed instrument positioned onto a Kermani rug created by the artists and inspired by the legacy of the 18th-century Iranian Sufi musician, Moshtagh Ali Shah.
Piano strings were bowed taut across the rug with small bridges placed to create intonations, each about ten feet in length. Other sounds accompanied the ShahTár performed by seven local musicians, who took turns performing on their own instruments as well as joining in on the ShahTár. This provided for a natural integration of cultural influence through musical collaboration. Reza Filsoofi acted as MC and recited poetry while Raheleh sang and performed on the ShahTár. The couple’s presence exuded elegance as they were joined by the musicians that seemed equally to enjoy the experience. At the end of the performance, the audience was asked to join in and engage with the artists in sound making and informal show-and-tell.
Raheleh and Reza Filsoofi with Houston musicians Will Adams, Tom Carter, Parham Daighighi, Laura Dykes, Ruthie Langston, Gabriel Martinez, Firuz Shukrikhudoev, 2026. Photo: Ali Khoja, courtesy of Ismaili Center
Both of the presenters and the invited musicians were elegantly dressed in black, minimizing each individual’s presence, allowing for the overall concerted effort to ring out loudly. Raheleh and Reza remained in the center of the rug for most of the duration of the performance while the other performers were seated on the flanks, joining in succession for various duets and ensembles. There was an apt formality in the presentation, one that befitted the elegance of the origins of the works. Like the stunning contemporary architectural design of the Ismaili Center, the evening contained a maturity and poetic nuance found only in Persian culture.
People activating an installation by Raheleh Filsoofi at the Ismaili Center Houston. Image courtesy of the Ismaili Center Houston
Experiencing this performance in Houston, given the current political quagmire that is the U.S.-Iran conflict, one was given hope for a better future for Iran as well as relations between the two countries. As Reza recited various poems, which transitioned into the musical interludes, one couldn’t help but hope to hear more beatific creations taking the place of horrific headlines that dominate the news feeds today. Coupled with the astounding architecture of the Ismaili Center, one can become expectant that the better angels of our cultural natures combined can bring about a lasting respect for both nations.
Along these lines, it is to the credit of the artists that the overall tone of the performance was not one of antagonism or provocation. It certainly would have been understandable if it had, but the results would have been less impactful. Instead, the strategy was to simply present poetry and song in relation to the ShahTár in the context of local musicians. This melding of cultures was achieved via the grace of the artists, and their attitude toward the audience never veered towards the pedantic. This allowed for the concert to truly celebrate music and humanity, the strongest of all possible protests.
“This and That” is an occasional series of paired observations. See past “This and That” posts here.
Today: Giant shiny bunnies
Beth Nybeck, “Found You,” 2022, at Eastern Metro Market Park, Washington, D.C. Photo: Kelley Thomas Hunt Slonem, “Thunderbunny,” 2021, mosaic glass, at Justin Flippen Park in Wilton Manors, Florida. Photo: Daniel Sheron
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No matter how original, innovative or crazy your idea, someone else is also working on that idea. Furthermore, they are using notation very similar to yours. – Bruce J. MacLennan
In brief: While rain totals across the Houston area have been rather variable (ranging from less than an inch in some spots to over 8 inches in far southern Brazoria County), we expect everyone to participate in rain and storm chances this weekend, especially from Saturday night into Monday. Flash flooding remains a distinct possibility, and our Stage 2 flood alert will remain up through at least Monday.
Rainy pattern check-up
We’re a few days into this relatively significant change to a rainy pattern, and so far, so good for the most part. We’re going to maintain the Stage 2 flood alert through the holiday weekend. I think the rains we saw Wednesday down in Brazoria County (7 inches) exemplify what this setup is capable of.
Rainfall totals from various gauges across the region since Monday. (NOAA)
So far, the northern half of the area has seen a relatively pedestrian 1 to 2 inches (even less in spots), while the southern half has seen 1 to 4 inches on average, with pockets of 5 to 8 inches. We expect another 1 to 4 inches on average over the next week across the entire area. Isolated higher and a couple lower amounts are indeed possible.
For those concerned about the situation in Corpus Christi, Lake Texana has seen about 3 inches of rain, while Lake Corpus Christi has seen about 4 inches of rain so far. Areas upstream of those lakes have received anywhere from 2 to 4 inches as well. By no means does this “save” Corpus Christi from a very bad situation, but it obviously helps buy some time. And any help is great news down there right now.
Today through tomorrow afternoon
Right now, weather modeling is suspiciously calm today and much of Saturday across the area. Obviously, showers and thunderstorms are still possible. But I would suspect most places stay dry as the best “oomph” for storms remains south or offshore in the Gulf. We’ll probably see clouds and sun. Highs may nudge back up into the middle or even some upper-80s after a couple days of lower 80s. There will be plentiful humidity to go along with that.
Saturday night through Monday
If we’re going to get smacked by rainfall, Saturday evening through Memorial Day would be the timeframe I’d be watching closest. A rather vigorous disturbance in the middle and upper atmosphere is going to swing into the Houston area on Saturday evening. This should provide the trigger necessary to get storms off and running. It’s impossible to really say exactly how things are going to setup right now, but expect increasing thunderstorm chances after about 4 PM on Saturday into Saturday night across the Houston area.
Average rain totals over the next week will be about 2 to 4 inches more, but there will almost certainly be smaller pockets that could see substantially higher totals. (Pivotal Weather)
We’ll then need to watch for repeated development of storms and the risk for flash flooding, including in areas that have not seen much rain so far. With moisture in the atmosphere much higher than normal, any storms will be capable of dropping 2 to 4 inches of rain in an hour or so. Any “training” or repeating thunderstorms over the same area means those totals could add up quickly, hence the concern for some localized flooding and our Stage 2 flood alert. More to come on this throughout the weekend as we get more clarity on timing and locations impacted.
Next week
The area will remain under the influence of an unsettled weather pattern and above normal atmospheric moisture. I would expect this on again/off again type rain and storm stuff to continue through much of next week, though perhaps at a slightly slower pace. Either way, what we can say with fairly high confidence right now is that any sustained, strong early summer heat is not in the cards through at least early June.
1. Employee never paid me for baby clothes but now wants a reference
I left a job about 2.5 years ago on good terms. One of the people who worked for me (who was a great employee) reached out when I left and asked if I’d be hiring soon, which I wasn’t. I wanted to help her, and I did find a different job opening at another company and sent it to her. She applied and ultimately got the job.
Shortly after, she asked about baby items I was getting rid of. She asked if she could buy them from me (I had already given away a fair amount of maternity clothes and baby things for free) and I said I had several massive bins of clothes/shoes and that she could pick up the lot of clothing, pay me $1 per item, and return the bins and unwanted items. She picked them up and I never heard from her again. She never paid for anything, and I never received leftover clothing or my bins back. I realize the opportunity to ask was way back then, but truthfully I felt too petty to ask for an unknown amount of money or the storage bins (which I had to replace) but she also did not remotely hold up her end of the arrangement.
This week she contacted me asking if I’d be a reference. I said yes, then received a text from a third party with a link to a questionnaire. The instructions said this will take 30-40 mins to complete. Less than 24 hours later, she was reaching out asking when I’d have time to fill this out.
I am going to make good on my word and complete the questionnaire. This situation just rubs me the wrong way all around because it feels very one-sided. Would you say anything about this? Or is this just the risk you run when you try to do something nice within a workplace relationship?
There’s a pretty good chance that her absconding with your baby clothes and bins was just baby brain and she didn’t even realize she did it … but you are allowed to feel peeved by it!
That said, yeah, ideally you would have addressed it at the time by texting her when you hadn’t heard back within a couple of weeks to say, “Hey, just checking in — did you decide what you wanted and when is a good time to return the bins and anything you’re not taking?” I get why you didn’t, but if you’re going to be annoyed it’s nearly always better to just reach out and check.
I do think you’re right to complete the questionnaire because you said you would — and to continue being a reference for her if she was a great employee when you managed her. And because so much time has passed, I don’t think there’s a lot of point in raising the baby clothes now. If you have otherwise known her to be a responsible, conscientious person aside from this, you’re better off figuring that it slipped her mind at the time and she would have made it right if you’d contacted her. (And really, that is the grace we’d all want in her shoes if it was a genuine oversight.)
2. Should we be doing quarterly performance reviews?
My company recently moved from semi-annual to quarterly performance reviews, and I’m trying to figure out if my feelings about them are well-calibrated.
For context, I’ve spent most of my career at small companies without formal review processes. My current larger company is good at giving feedback so there’s nothing surprising in a review, and we have weekly 1:1s with managers to discuss goals and adjustments.
Many of my coworkers find self-reviews and peer feedback stressful enough that we have multiple long-running Slack channels dedicated to discussing them. I’m less stressed about the reviews themselves and more bothered that the whole process feels like a time sink box-checking exercise.
Our system has three ratings that essentially amount to: improvement needed by next quarter, doing fine, and doing excellent. I’m one of roughly 80–90% of the company who will land in the middle category. If someone needs to improve, they already know before the review. If someone is working toward a promotion, they have a general sense of what’s expected and can actually achieve one with a “doing fine” rating. The top rating is uncommon and not structurally achievable by everyone each quarter. Ratings do affect raises, so there’s real motivation behind them.
Given all that, is there a version of quarterly reviews that serves a genuine purpose? Or is what I’m describing closer to what you’d call work theater, a performance of performance management not the same outcome? And do you have general thoughts on what separates a well-designed review process from a performative one?
No, quarterly reviews in most cases are way too often! First, doing formal reviews well takes an enormous amount of time and energy (and if you’re not doing them well, there’s really no point to doing them that often). Second, that frequency just isn’t necessary if your managers are managing effectively; they should already be having ongoing conversations with people about how they’re doing, what’s going well, and anything that needs to change. If they’re not doing that, the solution is to better train those managers, not to implement quarterly bureaucratic time sucks.
I could see if it’s literally just a quick check-in with one of those three ratings and any accompanying discussion that needs to happen for a “needs” improvement” — that could be a way to ensure managers are staying on top of communicating about issues. But if it’s accompanied by the more detailed narrative that evaluations usually include, it’s just too much.
As for what makes a review process well-designed, I have some thoughts here:
3. Was I wrong to give input to my manager about our frustrating temp?
I am an individual contributor in a creative role at a small company. The work is challenging, but fulfilling.
Recently our team experienced an unexpected setback and needed temporary support so we brought on a temp. This has been challenging. On a practical level, their skills don’t translate well here; as a result, other team members often have to step in to fill gaps or rework deliverables. We are under a deadline and it doesn’t seem like I have a choice but to try to make this work, but it has added strain to an already high-pressure environment.
There are also interpersonal challenges. Their overall tone can come across as negative or tense, which affects team dynamics. In meetings, they sometimes talk over me and can become visibly frazzled under stress. They seem to think that managers provide me with more support and training than them, but in reality, I’ve just been doing this for years and can work independently.
The complicating factor is that we do, in fact, need to hire another full-time person. The temp has expressed strong interest in staying on permanently. From a distance, this might seem like an easy solution: they already know the company, and hiring them would be efficient. However, I have serious reservations about whether they are the right long-term fit for this specific team. My concern is not that they lack talent — they clearly have strengths — but that their strengths don’t align with the demands of this role, and that the interpersonal friction may continue over time.
I recently shared this feedback with my manager. I tried to focus on the work itself and the team’s needs, but I worry that my personal frustrations may be influencing my perspective more than I realize. Was it appropriate for me to voice concerns about hiring this person full-time? Did I just come across as not a team player? Am I overstepping by weighing in so strongly on what could be seen as a management decision? More broadly, how do I distinguish between legitimate concerns about team fit and performance versus personal irritation with a someone?
Yes, when your team is considering hiring a temp full-time and you’ve been working closely with that temp and have input that could be relevant, you absolutely should offer it. Your input presumably wasn’t “I don’t like Jane”; it was about real work issues, like the skills gap that causes other coworkers to have to step in to redo her work. In your manager’s shoes, I’d want to hear about the interpersonal issues too (I want a team that works well together and where people are collegial; someone who regularly talks over others, gets visibly frazzled under stress, or is inappropriately competitive with a peer can be coached, but I’d want to be aware that those are issues as I’m making a hiring decision and not find out about them later if someone could have filled me in earlier.)
To your question about how to distinguish between legitimate concerns and personal irritation, think of it terms of work impact. Skills or lack thereof: highly relevant. Work habits or approaches that make more work for others: highly relevant. Interpersonal habits that are generally recognized as rude (not listening when someone is talking, interrupting, letting stress affect the environment for everyone else): also relevant. Personal habits that are more like pet peeves (gum chewing, uptalk, taking about their social life an annoying amount): usually not relevant (although even there, sometimes it could be relevant — for example, someone who talks non-stop to the point that it’s disruptive to other people’s ability to focus).
4. Changing my name in my email after I get married
I’m probably overthinking this. I recently got married and I’m changing my last name. My company is going to assign me a new email address, and I’ll only have access to the old one for two weeks (too short, in my opinion, but I don’t make the rules). Would it be weird for me to put my maiden name in parentheses in the signature block of my new email for a while, like this:
Miranda (Stewpot) Warbleworth
We deal a lot with people who only know us through the computer, and I think it would be nice for them to see that it’s the same person. If this is okay, how long should I do it for?
Note, I’m positive my company will have no opinion on this. I just want to make sure I’m not overthinking or being too emotional. It never occurred to me that I’d be a little sad to change my name, but it’s bittersweet.
Yes, you should absolutely do that, and it’s very normal when you change your name. Not weird at all! (What is weird is that your company won’t set the old email to forward to your new one, but so be it.)
As for how long … I’d say at least six months. The exception to that would be if you’re generally only emailed by people on a short-term basis and then you’re never in contact again (for example, if you sell a product but then pass the client on to your tech support team for everything after that). If that’s the case, you could keep it there for whatever the typical lifecycle of the relationship is plus a couple of months.
So you spent the last two hours fighting for your life trying to merge into aggressive traffic, avoid potholes, find the one open space in the parking garage near the T stop, and stay on your feet in a crammed Green Line train with no handholds, and now you’re going to sit your sorry ass in a rigid wooden seat for nine innings on a forty-fucking-degree night and watch your beloved team ground out into a double play more times than is even statistically imaginable.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Fenway Park.
Home of your underachieving Boston Red Sox, the holy cathedral of baseball, the Dartmouth green jewel box of New England, this most magical place on Earth is rooted in suffering, which I have to assume is the basis for their latest culinary affair: the Lobstah Poutine.
Back in 1917, an explosion devastated the harbor of Halifax, Nova Scotia. The city of Boston shook its collective head, muttered “Are you kidding me, guy?” and quickly organized a relief ship to send aid, kicking off a century-long bromance that led our friendly French Canadian neighbors to the north to allow Boston to co-opt their regional delicacy. A traditional poutine consists of french fries and cheese curds drenched in hot gravy, but as one might expect from the city behind those horrible robot dogs in that Black Mirror episode, Fenway has applied forward thinking and innovation to create something completely unnerving.
While maintaining the integrity of the french-fry base, the cheese-curd experience has been replaced with lobster claws fresh from a plastic bag out of the mini fridge, and in a mind-blowing move of epicurean invention, the hot gravy has been swapped out for hot chowder. The rich mound is garnished with chopped scallions for an herby zip and bits of bacon because, I don’t know, they’re just adding things to add things?
The dish comes in a flimsy cardboard fishing boat that holds up impressively well for how heavy the Lobstah Poutine is. I’m talking heavy heavy, like as heavy as your heart feels every time you see that clip of Mookie Betts saying he wanted to stay in Boston his whole career. Credit where credit’s due, they aren’t scrimping with these hefty pieces of lobster claw, and honestly, they’d better not be at $39.00 plus tax, especially when you know that tax isn’t even going toward fixing the potholes that fucked up my car’s alignment on the way in here.
Given the poutine’s viscosity, I requested a fork from the vendor who served me. He responded, “The fuck you need a fork for? What are you, the Queen of England?” So I picked up a big chowdery lump of lobster with my fingers and took a bite. It tasted fresh, but was very cold. I took another bite. This one was piping hot. Every bite of Lobstah Poutine is a surprise. The biggest surprise of all was that, despite this being an establishment where young men traverse the stands selling clam chowder from a portable metal urn, our chefs chose to go with a potato chowder, presumably as a nod to everyone’s Irish uncle in Southie.
The Lobstah Poutine begs a few philosophical questions. Should food be soggy? Do flavors need to feel good inside my mouth? Why did I just give my hard-earned $39.00 to an organization that is intentionally tanking my team and exploiting America’s most beautiful tradition for their own avarice? It gives you something to noodle over while you’re stuck in traffic behind a Storrowed box truck.
It also begs the question “Who is this for?” and I think the answer to that one is obvious. This boatload of fridge leftovers is tailor-made for people who are gonna keep buying the jerseys of their favorite player, even though the very next day that player’s probably moving to LA, where they have parking lots and they pay their guys a billion dollars a year and the fans probably eat their french fries with a fucking fork, leaving us with a roster of random underdogs we’ve never heard of but are obligated to root for under the laws of genetic memory. Lobstah Poutine is for people who are built to suffer.
And that leaves us with one last important question about Fenway Park’s Lobstah Poutine—is it good? To that, I can answer with confidence:
Who the fuck cares? Since when does something have to be good for you to love it?
A study found that Japanese eels have two different types of sperm, shedding light on why fisheries encountered such low fertility rates during artificial insemination. What do you think?
“This explains a lot about my sexual experiences with eels.”
Dexter Marsh, Spelling Grader
“And let me guess, the eel claims neither kind requires a condom.”
Juliet Beil, Produce Lobbyist
“Yeah, good sperm and evil sperm, everyone has that.”
Police said the discovery is not all that uncommon. In April 2025, officials in nearby Jamaica Beach said packages containing drugs washed up on the west end of the island.
ALT
