(I am in my third year of high school. It is after school, and I go to see my math teacher. While I am there, my math teacher from a previous year comes in and starts a discussion about me.)
Previous Teacher: “This guy drove me nuts. He would always read in class, and never seemed to pay attention. Sometimes I would interrupt his reading to have him answer the question on the board.”
Current Teacher: “And he got it wrong?”
Previous Teacher: “No. He got it right EVERY TIME! It drove me nuts!”
(My girlfriend is a cashier, and I am a customer in her line. There’s a customer in front of me, giving her a hard time. He writes a check and hands it to her.)
Girlfriend: “I’m sorry, sir, but our system has declined your check.”
Customer: “What? I’m a millionaire! That’s not possible!”
Girlfriend: “Well, actually, I think it’s because the license and check are from different states. It’s to prevent identity theft.”
Customer: “Well, thank you for nothing, worthless b****! I know you did this on purpose!”
Girlfriend: “Sir, I can assure you I didn’t. Now. Do you have another form of payment?”
Customer: “No! You d*** b****! You’re just being totally worthless! Why don’t we take this out to the parking lot?”
Me: “Oh, can I film that?”
Girlfriend: *smiling* “Absolutely.”
Customer: “What the h*** are you talking about?”
Me: “Oh, didn’t you know? She’s a championship kickboxer. I just want to film her kicking your a**.”
(The customer huffs and stomps away.)
Girlfriend: “Aw, why did you scare him off? I was looking forward to that.”
From Deviantart user yamamoto114:
A comprehensive comparison between Xbox One and PlayStation 4 hardware. All facts are limited to what has officially been announced. Tech analysis comes from Anandtech.
More powerful chips and/or any features exclusive to a platform are colored blue. Any restrictions or features that were removed vs prior generations will be in red.
I’m going to be constantly updating this image as more facts roll in. If you guys can continue to point out errors and updates and other things like that, that’ll definitely help me keep this factsheet accurate. Thanks!
-Pre-Order the PS4 Here.
-Pre-Order the Xbox One Here.
[Source: yamamoto114 | Via Technabob]
(I’m in math class. The students are a bit rowdy and not focusing on the lesson as they should be.)
Teacher: “You guys need to pay attention to this stuff. One day, knowing Calculus could save your life.”
Student: “Really? Give one example of how Calculus could save our lives in the real world.”
Teacher: “Okay, how about this scenario? Say you are walking down the street one day, hand in hand with your significant other. Suddenly, a man jumps out from the shadows brandishing a knife. With a wild look in his eyes, he screams, ‘You better know what the second derivative of x^3 + 2x^2 + 4x + 8 is, or I’m going to poke you full of more holes than a spaghetti colander!’”
Student: “That’s ridiculous. Like that is ever going to happen in the real world.”
Teacher: “Son, let me assure you… if there are any jobs in the world likely to cause a psychotic break, high school math teacher is at the top of that list.”
(The students spent the rest of the day focused on their lessons.)