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I've heard men and women say things like, "You're not feminist enough if you do that" or "It's not feminist if you try to make yourself cute!" But when people say things like that, they are making women feel guilty for the choices they make, and that in itself is not helping a sister out.

What this video made me think was: Hey look, it's OK to hold strong feminist values and not take yourself too seriously, and it's OK to wear makeup and still be pissed at how society objectifies women. I hope you come away with the same thought.

Oh, and in case it wasn't blindingly obvious, this video is a parody.

The video maker herself, Taylor, says that the video is "supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek parody on some of society's crazy stereotypes of feminists....i'm just having fun poking at some misconceptions and tropes."

You can Like her on Facebook and enjoy her videos.

ORIGINAL: By the hilarious YouTube vlogger Tadelesmith.

I think a lot of people reference porn as if it is one large entity—but it’s not. Porn is an industry that comprises many different companies—small, large and everything and anything in between. Each company runs its operation differently and every female performer runs her career differently. There are a shitload of women in the porn industry on the production side that don’t fuck on camera, for instance editors, agents, and directors. And there are also thousands of women who have office jobs within the industry.

The adult industry is not for everyone. Working in any faction of entertainment is difficult, and I don’t think it’s a good place for the weak. I have seen and read every mean comment under the sun in response to photos or articles I appeared in; I am not blonde, I am not toothpick skinny, etc. Since my boobs are natural, they get bigger and smaller depending on my weight and some days they hang kinda funny; when they do, I am told.

I have been doing porn for 10 years now and I do have a lot of loyal fans, but as a result of my looks I make one quarter of the money that a blonde, tan girl with big fake boobs makes, even if she has one quarter of the following I do. This is just how it is and it takes a lot of strength to fight off your own jealousy in these situations. It took time, but I have learned to be strong and take a deep breath and be thankful for what I have. I think a lot of girls’ demise in this industry starts with jealousy that turns to anger, which will eventually lead someone down a destructive path. In porn, it’s more common for women to discriminate against other women, than for men to discriminate against women.

I haven’t worked for a company other than my own, Burning Angel, in many years so I might not even be the right person to answer this question, but—generally speaking—I don’t think women are treated poorly in the industry. I do think it’s pretty common (not just in porn, but in a lot of situations, as I am guilty of this myself) to agree to things that, in reality, you don’t want to do. Several years ago I was dating a total douchebag who proposed the idea of being in an open relationship. I consider myself open minded; so, I thought this could work, right? Then he said, “Look. I am going to fuck anyone I want at any time I want, but I only want you to fuck me. Cool?” In my head I was screaming, “No! What kinda bullshit is this!” But for some reason, “OK that’s fine I understand” came out of my mouth instead. What followed were some of the most miserable years of my life. Yes, I realize I have to take some responsibility for agreeing to partake in something I didn’t want to do at all. But it also begs the question, why do women do this? And, to tell you the truth, I am not sure. And while this is a whole other issue, I do feel like most of the horror stories you hear about in the porn industry and its treatment of women happen because women say yes to things they should probably refuse.

When you get booked for a scene, you have a choice to take the booking or not take the booking. No one puts a gun to your head and forces you to do the scene. For example, a lot of girls will say they want to do anal because they want the extra money or they think it will get them liked by a certain director. But when push comes to shove, if you don’t like having anal sex, you shouldn’t do it as a profession. If it hurts when you put a dildo in your ass, you shouldn’t agree to a 10-guy anal-gangbang. And this does happen. The result will usually be the girl having a horrible time and then years later crying about it in a public forum.

In the industry there are directors who shoot rough BDSM scenes, directors who are shooting for romance series, and everything in between. It’s important for women to research who they’re shooting for and to be sure that the movie she’s cast in is something she’s emotionally and mentally capable of doing. Unfortunately, the more scenes a woman turns down, and the more restrictions she enforces, could mean less money in her pocket. But then again, you can’t put a price on your sanity.

If a girl tells me she want to do anal, but then looks visibly uncomfortable when the scene starts, I will tell her to stop, that we don’t NEED the anal position in the scene, and that she can try it another day. During such moments, I’ve had girls literally say, “No, I can do it, I really need the extra money,” at which point I will tell the guy to get his dick out of her ass. I won’t allow it. I don’t ever want to be the cause of any kind of porno PTSD. Does every director have this mindset? Probably not. In fact I’d be lying if I said every director in the entire industry will put an end to a position if it looks painful. But then again, some of them do. A lot of people (myself included) would rather get no anal in a scene than one position of awkward, painful-looking anal—both for business and moral reasons.

In short, porn is really not for everyone. I have seen this industry chew girls up and spit them out. I have also seen girls triumph in this industry. For myself, porn turned me into a very confident and happy woman. Prior to doing porn, I was incredibly sexually awkward, and this same awkward and insecure girl existed outside the bedroom as well. Experimenting with my sexuality in a controlled environment really did help me; I learned how to give a good blow job on set, I learned how to have anal sex, I learned how to give a woman a really amazing orgasm and I got comfortable with shouting out obscene comments while getting fucked. I learned how to direct movies and I learned how to run a business. I never imagined this business would make me so happy!

When people come see me at a convention or recognize me on the street and say they have jerked off to me, I love it. I get really excited and it gives me a rush and it makes me want to do more. From working in this industry I have learned about myself and I have grown—from an awkward overly emotional young girl to a savvy and slutty businesswoman.

Porn has been extremely healthy for myself and my wellbeing. It sounds crazy but it’s true. Even my orthodox Jewish mother who is definitely NOT a fan of what I do has begrudgingly admitted that she has never seen me happier. I am 32-years-old and this is what I want to be when I grow up. My entire experience in this industry hasn’t been perfect. There have been ups and downs (literally and emotionally), but even on my worst days I never wish I chose a different profession. I truly do love my job.

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I know that sounds ridiculous. I picture a dapper Wall Street exec eyeing a disembodied lotus flower in Penn Station, lewdly whistling as it passes. But in all seriousness, if we expect to receive gratification as men, shouldn’t we bestow the same upon the objects of our affection? Of course we should – and I mean the whole of her, not strictly the “holiest of holies” (© Jules Winnfield). If gratification is what you seek, try paying it forward by doing the following:

1. Make a mental connection

A mutually satisfying sexual experience starts with what I fervently believe to be the single most important ingredient to achieving orgasm: a mental connection.

Before we get there though, let’s consider a much-maligned notion in today’s sext-ridden culture – intimacy: the physical closeness and shared sense of anticipation that are precursors to any sexual fulfillment. True intimacy is impossible to achieve between perfect strangers, and without having developed a mental connection with your partner, that’s exactly what you will be to one another – strangers. So take a genuine interest in her. How do you go about that? Frequent those places and partake in those activities that YOU find genuinely interesting! That way you have a built-in conversation starter, and conversing about things that interest her is the first step to forging that mental connection. Since you’re already doing something that interests you (and can presumably talk intelligently about it), you automatically appear more interesting to her, and thus the seeds of intimacy are sown.

2. Pay attention

When you converse, pay attention to her responses (especially the non-verbal cues). This is the time to surrender the ego. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care, so show her you do by listening – at least twice as much as you speak. Stephen Covey perhaps put it best: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

It has been hypothesized that women decide in the first 7 seconds of meeting whether they find you sexually desirable, and if the conversation persists beyond that initial meeting, it’s safe to assume her assessment of you was favorable. Therefore, it’s incumbent upon you not to fuck things up by talking too much! The quickest way to blend in with all the other assholes out there is to talk about yourself too often, so distinguish yourself by being an active listener. Steer the conversation down a lane she finds comfortable by asking open-ended questions that cause her to constantly expound upon whatever points she makes. Have no time limit with this – your patience will deliver in spades down the road.

3. Be vulnerable

Deliver on points 1 and 2, and she will be begging to know more about you.

When you do open your book to her, don’t be bashful about what you share. That intimacy you seek doesn’t materialize by you holding back: for every impulse you reserve, she reserves a piece of her heart (and ultimately the rest of her). Conversely, for every “secret” you share (and by secret I only mean those truths about yourself you previously were afraid someone would use against you), she shares something of value in-kind, to the point where you both laugh uproariously about common experiences, fears and hurts. This quid pro quo is absolutely essential to meaningful human interaction, and, when done right, sets the stage for an irresistible sexual connection.

4. Don’t be desperate

Though every genuine interaction you have (wherein you’re practicing points 1 thru 3) leads you towards that gratification I spoke of earlier, sex should be the furthest thing from your mind. After talking about yourself, the next-quickest way to “be that guy” is to initiate sex too quickly. Entirely too many horror stories abound of first dates ruined by the strong-armed approach to “dessert at my place.” The solution? Take it out of your mind completely. If you’re into visualization, model yourself after George Clooney when you’re in the early stages of dating: that smiling, self-deprecating, and completely present you that is perfectly blissful simply in her presence. I’m a firm believer in energy, and that which you emit while in George Clooney mode is attractor energy – while the energy you emit out of desperation is undeniably a repellant. If you do find the two of you back at your place after a beautiful evening together, resist the pressure to rush things to the next level: if she gets cold while you’re watching that movie, you can cuddle together under covers – but leave it there. If you demonstrate enough restraint to spend the night together without trying to sleep with her, she’ll trust you that much more the next time she’s in your bed.

5. Put her pleasure FIRST

By being diligent in the above, the chemistry between you two will naturally culminate in intercourse – and having practiced conscious awareness, you will know precisely the moment. Still, don’t rush in headlong: savor the entire experience (as you have every step of the way). Since you haven’t been desperate, her attraction for you is about ready to drive her insane. Delay the inevitable. When she moves to unbutton your dress shirt, draw her in for a prolonged, passionate kiss, picturing that mental connection now manifesting itself through all of your erogenous zones. Undress her slowly, taking inventory of every inch, and let her know how beautiful and irresistible you find her.

Even though she’s mentally comfortable enough to be intimate with you at this point, she likely still has some degree of body-consciousness being naked in front of you for the first time, so immediately put her at ease by complimenting the hell out of her – first with words, then with your fingers, lips and tongue. As it is with any artist, your use of the canvas is limited only by your imagination, but the point is still to listen and respond to what her body is telling you. She’s placing an enormous amount of confidence in you by surrendering her mind and body, so honor that by being a generous lover. Orgasm for men is primarily a function of time and repetition, so take for granted that you will achieve yours. Focus your whole being on pleasuring the entirety of her. Think of yourself as a matinee idol, and your life’s work is to bring the crowd to its feet at the end of your performance. That’s the best compliment you could pay to any woman (her vagina included), and the surest path to having that pleasure reciprocated.

Last weekend, Angela Merkel’s Christian-Democrats (CDU) waltzed into one of the most substantial victories the party has ever seen. But the German election wasn't just about Germany; the country's dominance over the Eurozone means that the result will have direct ramifications for how things continue to play out in southern Europe's austerity-hit countries.

Forbes named Merkel the most powerful woman in the world this year, and it's pretty evident why: It was "Mutti," as her supporters call her, who forged the new European consensus of austerity that other leaders—like Francois Hollande, for example—haven't been able to change. Standing beside her is Finance Minister Wolfgang Schauble, whose direct links with banking, industry, and the various European monetary institutions have, throughout the past five years, made him the highest authority on how to solve southern Europe's debt crisis.

And his solution has been pretty straightforward; the only thing Germany has been exporting more aggressively than heavy industrial products is the doctrine that everyone in their financial grip must also have an economy based on low wages and loads of exports.

However, from what we’re seeing, the medicine isn’t really working. Granted, it worked for Germany, but it’s now looking increasingly like a one-size-fits-all policy that doesn’t really fit anyone else. Greece’s economy has contracted by a quarter, and its debt is now at an all time high of 180 percent; Spain’s banks are a mess; Italy’s economy is sinking fast; and Portugal, touted as the "good student," saw its government taking further cuts in order to meet fiscal targets.

Many analysts, especially in the UK and US, believe that the Chancellor will ease her grip on Europe's southern countries in her next term. But that theory doesn’t really square with the fact that she still seems convinced of her policies. One day after her reelection, she said, "There is no need to change [Germany’s] European policy."

Greece, in particular, has been on the receiving end of Germany's pushed policies, being perhaps in the worst state of all of southern Europe's crisis-hit countries. But the application of those policies has seemed at best superficial and unhelpful, and at worst tragic. Merkel's desperation for a success story forced the Greek government into announcing a primary surplus that didn’t include crucial expenditure like pensions and social security, all while they prematurely declared that "Greece is turning a corner."

Merkel needed this good news to bolster her campaign effort, so Germany played along—even when allegations that the country will need an additional €77 billion in loans over the next five years started to hit the news. Funnily enough, it took all of one day after Merkel was reelected for Greece's troika of lenders to admit that they have "doubts about Greek projections for a primary surplus this year and next, and have begun the process of discussing the contents of the 2014 budget with Athens."

So are there signals that anything will change for Greece in Merkel's third term? I put that question to Nick Malkoutzis, deputy editor of the Greek daily Kathimerini, who told me, "Greece's political leaders generated a lot of expectation that their country would be better off after the German elections. But whatever hope the Greek public had dissipated during a campaign that saw German politicians revert to treating Greece as a stowaway within the Eurozone.

"Greeks were not convinced that the Social Democratic Party of Germany [SDP; the German opposition] would offer a different way out of the crisis, despite the party's criticism of Angela Merkel. Having heard Francois Hollande say similar things in the French presidential campaign last year and then fail to deliver, there weren't many Greeks willing to get their hopes up a second time."

He continued, somewhat pessimistically: "The best that Greece can hope for now is that, having won re-election, Merkel won't carry on delaying crucial decisions on whether Athens will be granted more loans and debt relief and how the EU banking union will proceed. The worst-case scenario is that the euroskeptics within her party feel strengthened after this result, and this makes her even more reluctant to deal decisively with key decisions that affect Greece and the eurozone as a whole."

Unfortunately, that worst-case scenario is likely to be the one we see played out. Thanks to her overwhelming victory, Merkel faces no real pressure inside Germany to change her policies, and Germans don’t want any surprises in the handling of the crisis. As she said herself in an interview with the Financial Times last year, "If Europe today accounts for just over seven percent of the world’s population, produces around 25 percent of global GDP and has to finance 50 percent of global social spending, then it’s obvious that it will have to work very hard to maintain its prosperity and way of life. All of us have to stop spending more than we earn every year."

So it looks like yet another round of austerity for southern Europe—something the Germans appear pretty relaxed about. The CDU has survived, despite its tough stance and the fact that every other European party that's adopted its policies has sunk. So why would they change their tune now?

It's unlikely that the Social Democrats or the Greens—Merkel's probable coalition partners—will risk their political reputation at home to stop austerity elsewhere. So it seems that the governments of southern Europe will have to continue pissing their people off by making cuts at the behest of Merkel, all while she basks in a 72 percent approval rating at home, away from the accusing finger of the once relatively well-paid Greek public sector worker.

The future of Europe is in Merkel's hands. En route to surpass Margaret Thatcher as the world's longest-surviving female leader, will her legacy be one of a united Europe, or of a desolate South with the European project laying in tatters? Her actions over the next few weeks will undoubtedly begin to provide some possible answers to that question.

Follow Yiannis on Twitter: @YiannisBab

More about austerity in Europe:

The Greeks Welcomes Angela Merkel

The IMF's Admission That Austerity Has Failed Is Going to Make the G8 Pretty Awkward

WATCH – Austerity's Drug of Choice

Descubrimos la existencia de este método en una gélida mañana de febrero, durante la Feira do Cocido de la localidad de Lalín. El frío cortaba los labios pero un valiente grupo de garotas brasileiras semidesnudas desfilaban por aquellas calles recubiertas de una pátina de hielo, y lo hacían con estoicismo y profesionalidad. La fotoperiodista de Magnum Cristina García Rodero ha inmortalizado alguna de las ediciones con fotos de paisanos erotizados interactuando con las morenas. Son imágenes tan tiernas como sátiras.

Como la carne llama a la carne, el día de la Feira do Cocido todo el paisanaje se guarda al mediodía, después de la exhibición carioca, en las casas de comidas de Lalín a dar cuenta ritual de un pantagruélico cocido. Fue ahí donde conocimos el método Pimpán³ (pronúnciese pimpán-pimpán-pimpán), que despues veríamos reconocido en numerosos restaurantes gallegos.

Lo recordamos este fin de semana, comiendo en Meiroi, una encantadora casa de comidas de Os Ancares, perdida en el fondo de un estrecho valle de Navia de Suarna, cuando reconocimos a unos aplicados practicantes del método.

El método Pimpán³ lo practican matrimonios maduros, de esos que ya tienen a los hijos emancipados, y que en los fines de semana aprovechan su nueva independencia para darse algunas alegrías gastronómicas. Para practicar el método Pimpán³ hay que comer en absoluto silencio, hasta el punto de que el único sonido que se escucha sobre la mesa es el chocar de los cubiertos contra la fuente de la comida al servir.

Son parejas campesinas que ya se tienen tanta confianza que no necesitan hablar para llenar espacios huecos en esa mesa, porque no los perciben así. Así que la parte clave del método es el silencio: ese silencio que a mí se haría intolerable durante una comida entera pero que en los practicantes del método es de lo más natural. Sólo se interrumpe, por cierto, en el momento del café y los licores, en los cuales la pareja intercambia unas cuantas frases: me imagino que son pareceres sobre el banquete y estimaciones más o menos ciertas de la cuenta.

Cocido gallego (Juantiagues / Flickr).

La otra característica del método Pimpán³ es la completa compenetración entre los dos comensales, su ritmo deglutorio y masticador, la precisión suiza en la transferencia de comida entre la fuente y el plato. De ahí viene el pimpán-pimpán, un toma y daca rápido “para ti y para mí”. Uno tras otra, alternándose disciplinadamente, atacan a la fuente de forma frontal y lateral, sin piedad ni asomo de duda. Y aquí no observamos la educación burguesa de uno servir a la otra, ni la sumisión doméstica de la otra sirviendo al uno. Para nada: en estas parejas, cada uno va a lo suyo, pero de forma coordinada.

Aunque hay otra forma de demostrarse cariño: el mayor ejemplo de coordinación está en que son tan conscientes de los gustos de los otros, que se sirven de la fuente dejándole al otro las piezas favoritas. Que si te gusta la costra del arroz, yo iré entrando hacia el centro. Que si te van los muslos de pollo, yo me decanto por las pechugas.

Lo último que define estos banquetes silenciosos es la ausencia de tregua. De forma rápida, el matrimonio aborda con profesionalidad una fuente de cocido de esa altura conocida como “poner los chorizos de pie”. Y mientras nosotros, aún pareja novata en el método, claudicamos cuando la bandeja todavía parece intocada, los pimpanistas avanzarán sin miedo hasta el final, dando cuenta de toda la bandeja de lacón, costillas, morros, orejas, cacheira, falda, chorizos, muslos de pollo, patatas, habas y grelos en poco tiempo más del que nosotros empleamos para abandonar el partido en el descanso.

El restaurante estará al final lleno de esas voces cargadas por el vino, las gotas servidas al café y los licores de la casa. Pero el matrimonio de pimpanistas, sin muestras de cariño aparente entre ellos, sin necesidad de mirarse pero juntos y amorosos hasta el final de sus días,  ya pensarán en el siguiente reto gastronómico, en la primavera que no tardará en llegar.

* Imagen de cabecera: Getty.

La entrada El método Pimpán³ aparece primero en Tinta de calamar.

A associaçom cultural a Gentalha do Pichel é um projeto autogerido, que se sustenta a partir do trabalho, activismo e achegas econónicas das pessoas associadas.

Os cursos, além de serem um espaço de convívio e aprendizagem, som umha ajuda económica para manter o centro social, por isto pedimos o teu compromisso à hora de fazer o pagamento no início de cada mês.

Sem matrícula. Desconto de 2€ no preço do curso para pessoas associadas, desempregadas (deve acreditar-se) ou que frequentem mais dum curso.

Com inscriçom prévia em gentalha [arroba] gentalha.org

Dúvidas e aclaraçons em gentalha [arroba] gentalha.org ou 636 838 273

CURSOS 2013/204

DE MANHÁ

Gaita

Quartas feiras de 11h a 12h. Apresentaçom 15 de Outubro. Começo 22 de Outubro.
Preço 20€.

No curso fará-se umha aproximaçom à técnica do instrumento e aprenderemos algumhas peças. O curso irá da iniciaçom ao aperfeiçoamento, trabalhando ouvido, afinaçom e linguagem musical, com as noçons básicas de teoria e leitura aplicadas à prática da música tradicional. O professor será David Canto Veiga, gaiteiro iniciado na música tradicional na comarca da Marinha, para depois receber formaçom em percussom e requinta e flautas travessas em aCentral Folque e no Conservatório. Tocou com ”Acibreira” ou ”Quarteto da Gentalha”, além de gravar no último disco de Os Cempés e colaborar no último disco de Kepa Junquera.

Técnica de tamboril tradicional

Quartas feiras de 12h a 13h. Apresentaçom 15 de Outubro. Começo 22 de Outubro.
Preço 16€.

No curso de percussom praticará-se a técnica de tamboril tradicional (agarre das baquetas, batido e redobre, acentuado, etc), para a sua aplicaçom nos ritmos empregados na música tradicional galega. Fará-se um achegamento que permita a interpretaçom dum repertório variado que permita ao alunado densenvolver-se no acompanhamento da melodia. O professor será David Canto Veiga.

Iniciaçom à dança tradicional

Quartas feiras de 12h a 13h.
Apresentaçom 15 de Outubro. Começo 22 de Outubro.
Preço 15€

Neste curso aprenderemos pontos de diferentes zonas da Galiza para podermos participar ativamente em festas e foliadas. Será com Fuensanta Nieto, vizinha de Compostela, que bailou em diferentes agrupaçons folclóricas da comarca.Também fijo algum trabalho de campo por diferentes lugares da Galiza para aprender, de primeira mao, as diferentes maneiras de bailar dos e das nossas velhas.

Canto e Pandeireta. Iniciaçom

Segundas feiras de 12h30 a 13h30. Apresentaçom 14 de Outubro. Começo 21 de outubro. Preço 16€

As aulas de pandeireta e canto virám da mao de Carme Iglesias, integrante das Pandereteiras Bouba, da Pontragha. As pessoas velhas da comarca, de quem aprendeu a música, estám presentes no seu modo de tocar e ensinar. De Tordoia portas para fora… Começa a rota da pandeireta!

Taichi

Terças e Quintas feiras de 09h30 a 10h30. Apresentaçom 15 de Outubro, começo 22 de Outubro. Preço 17€

Ao longo do curso achegaremo-nos de jeito introdutório à prática do taichi nos estilos Yang (académico) e Chen (tradicional), com traças de chikung. Tentaremos atender as dimensons terapêutica, ginástica, energética, artística e marcial do Taichi integrando-as numhas rotinas contínuas e dinámicas, personalizdas e acessíveis a qualquer praticante. Xavier Pinheiro, “Ghato”, leva 10 anos estudando artes marciais, os últimos seis focado no kungfu e no taichi-taikido.

À TARDE

Dança tradicional para quem nom sabe nada

Segundas Feiras de 20h a 21h. Apresentaçom 14 de Outubro. Começo 21 de Outubro.
Preço 15€.

Ensinada por Chus Caramés, que há décadas que anda no baile galego. Começa na sua terra natal para retomar na nossa comarca num grupo de baile da cidade, e continuar a dia de hoje reaprendendo em festas e foliadas. Além de bailadora e pandeireteira, é a organizadora dum evento muito importante para a musica tradicional do país, “os encontros de musica tradicional de Carvoeiro”.

Dança tradicional para quem sabe um chisco

Quartas feiras de 20h a 21h. Começo 6 de Novembro. Preço 15€

Se já foste um aninho a dança é mais ou menos lembras o básico, este é o teu curso! Aqui afiançarás o aprendido e darás umha volta para continuares a desfrutar das festas e foliadas. Quem te ajudará é umha rapariga que sabe disso. Carme Campo aprendeu os primeiros pontos no Porrinho, aperfeiçoou-nos num grupo de Compostela e agora mantém-se aprendendo no dia a dia, em seráns e festivais de música tradicional.

Dança tradicional para quem sabe um chisco mais

Segundas feiras de 21h a 22h.
Apresentaçom 14 de Outubro. Começo 21 de Outubro.
Preço 15€

Com Fuensanta Nieto aprenderemos alguns bailes de diferentes zonas para podermos continuar a participar ativamente em festas e foliadas, além de aperfeiçoar as técnicas do baile que já temos aprendidas doutros anos.

Pandeireta Iniciaçom e Aperfeiçoamento

Quartas-feiras. Iniciaçom de 19h a 20h. Aperfeiçoamento de 20h a 21h. Apresentaçom 16 de Outubro. Começo 23 de Outubro. Preço 14

Nas aulas aprenderemos a tocar os ritmos básicos da música tradicional galega, mas também faremos exercícios de técnica, de improvisaçom e de acompanhamento a outras músicas que costumamos ouvir. Aitana Eanes, a professora, está acompanhada pola música tradicional desde 1997. Começou sob a direcçom do mestre Lolete como gaiteira, passando depois por outras agrupaçons como Airinhos de Fene . Formou-se em diferentes cursos com Eliseo Parra, Aleix Tobias ou Luis Prego, e tem colaborado em vários trabalhos discográficos e espectáculos. Desde há dez anos imparte aulas regulares e cursos intensivos na Galiza, na Catalunha (Coetus, escola folque do Pirineu) e Portugal.

Gaita

Quartas feiras de 19h a 20h . Apresentaçom 15 de Outubro. Começo 22 de Outubro.
Preço 20€.

No curso fará-se umha aproximaçom à técnica do instrumento e aprenderemos algumhas peças. O curso irá da iniciaçom ao aperfeiçoamento, trabalhando ouvido, afinaçom e linguagem musical, com as noçons básicas de teoria e leitura aplicadas à prática da música tradicional. O professor será David Canto , gaiteiro iniciado na música tradicional na comarca da Marinha, para depois receber formaçom em percussom e requinta e flautas travessas em aCentral Folque e no Conservatório. Tocou com ”Acibreira” ou ”Quarteto da Gentalha”, além de gravar no último disco de Os Cempés e colaborar no último disco de Kepa Junquera.

Música para peto. Harmónica e mais uns instrumentos miúdos. Segundas feiras de 19h a 20h. Apresentaçom 14 de Outubro. Começo 4 de novembro. Preço 20€. Duraçom de Novembro a Abril.

Curso para todos os níveis sobre instrumentos que podem ser levados no peto, porque a música é o refúgio onde podermos agachar-nos contra o aborrecimento, a defesa da mediocridade. Curso para aprender/melhorar a tocar a harmónica em vários estilos (tradicional, folque, popular, blues…) e liçons para outros instrumentos: tarranholas, harpas de boca, assobios, culheres… O professor será Ariel Ninas (a.k.a. Mauro Sanín) músico polifacético associado à aCentral Folque, onde desenvolve a sua actividade profissional regular. Ainda que pouca gente o sabe, a harmónica é o seu primeiro instrumento, que toca desde os 14 anos e tivo em Marcos Coll (Reyes el K.O.) o seu professor. Como sanfonista, é membro da OMEGA (Orquestra de Música Espontánea da Galiza) e Ulobit (multimedia experimental).

 

Baixo eléctrico

Segundas feiras de 21h a 22h.Apresentaçom 14 de Outubro. Começo 21 de Outubro. Preço 20€

Para poder chegar a mais gente e também dar um ensino melhor, veremos dous níveis: um primeiro nível elementar, onde conheceremos a técnica básica para podermos fazer soar o baixo com um som bom e achegar-nos à interpretaçom de pequenos ritmos com o nosso instrumento, como também começar a conhecer as escalas e os acordes. Um segundo nível intermédio que pretende uns objectivos mais altos, melhorar a técnica das duas maos e o slap e popping , trabalhar as escalas e os acordes com diferentes padrons rítmicos, a criaçom de linhas de baixo e por último a prática de diferentes estilos musicais no baixo eléctrico. O professor será Alberte Rodríguez, picheleiro de sempre. Estudou contrabaixo no Conservatório Superior de Música da Corunha e na Escola de Altos Estudos Musicais da Galiza, como também baixo eléctrico em Estudio, escola de música e em Aula Combo. Completou sua formaçom com diferentes cursinhos e aulas magistrais (Wolfgang Harrer, Diego Zecharies, N.H. Orsted Pedersen, Ferrán Sala, Fernando Flores ). Tocou, gravou ou colaborou como baixista ou contrabaixista em muitos grupos, entre eles: Tonhito de Poi e Rasa Loba, Orquestra de Cámara Galega, Xoán Curiel, Sergio Tannus, Emilio Rúa, Orquestra Sinfónica de Melide, Roi Casal, Ophiusa, Bea Porrúa, Silvia Ferre, Embrace Me Ocean e Carmen Dor. Na actualidade dedica-se ao ensino e à interpretaçom através da participaçom em: PELdeNOZ, CabRaret, Dios ke te crew, Pé de Boi, Kana Kaiana e Super-Sandwich

 

Canto e Pandeireta.

Intermédio Segundas feiras de 21h a 22h. Aperfeiçoamento Segundas feiras de 20h a 21h. Apresentaçom 14 de Outubro. Começo 21 de outubro. Preço 16€

As aulas de pandeireta e canto virám da mao de Carme Iglesias, integrante das Pandeireteiras Bouba, da Pontragha. As pessoas velhas da comarca, de quem aprendeu a música, estám presentes no seu modo de tocar e ensinar. Desde Tordoia portas para fora… Começa a rota da pandeireta!

Guitarra.

Nivel I: Terças Feiras de de 19h a 20h . Nivel II de 20h a 21h. Preço: 25 euros. Apresentaçom 15 de Outubro.Começo 22 de Outubro

As aulas terám um máximo de três pessoas por hora. Som ideais quer para gente que começa do zero, quer para quem já tem um nível médio. Nelas, trabalharám-se teoria, harmonia e técnica de forma conjunta. A ideia é fazer aulas divertidas onde a criatividade e a improvisaçom tenham um papel importante. Tocarám-se temas de diversos estilos (blues, rock, country, reggae, funk ) e temas que proponha o próprio alunado, se a complexidade do tema o permite. O professor será Benjamín Vázquez, professor em educaçom musical e actual guitarrista de The Lákazans.

Coro para o grupo coral Gaita Armada

Quartas feiras de 21h15 a 22h30. Apresentaçom 16 de Outubro. Começo 23 de Outubro. Preço 15€

A música incide claramente nas emoçons, na educaçom e no pensamento-consciência das pessoas e dos povos, como em todas as artes. E como gozamos com ela! Bem diz o ditado “Quem canta os males espanta”.

Cantarmos juntas: expressar, criar laços, sentir… juntas. No curso trabalharemos estes conteúdos: Atitude psico-física. Respiraçom. Voz: emissom, entoaçom e expressividade. Escuita. Noçons básicas da linguagem musical. Criatividade: escolha de repertório, criaçom com recursos próprios e adquiridos.

Nom se requer experiência, só vontade. Todas temos umha voz maravilhosa por explorar. Vem cantar connosco!

Nuria Lestegás, música de formaçom clássica na especialidade de violino. Canta em coro e outras agrupaçons desde criança, começando na Escola de Música de Jove e mais adiante no Obradoiro Vocal “A Vila” de Ponte Areias; “Cantigas e Agarimos”, Coro da Escola Estudio e Orfeón “Terra A Nosa”, em Compostela.

Francês

Quartas feiras de 19h30 a 21h. Apresentaçom o 16 de Outubro.Começo o 23 de Outubro. Preço 15€. Duraçom de 3 meses.

Este curso, para alunado com pouca ou nengumha relaçom anterior com esta língua, tenciona criar falantes capazes de expressar desejos, manter pequenos debates e desenvolver-se com normalidade num entorno francofalante. Aprenderás como com umhas simples noçons bem interiorizadas poderás descobrir as diferentes culturas que englobam o mundo francófono. Impartido por Céline Nédélec, lingüista bretoa afincada na Galiza, conta com estudos universitários no ensino da língua francesa e com umha experiência como docente na comarca desde há seis anos. Atualmente investiga em como contar os contos.

Tea & Sympathy: Clube de conversa em inglês

Segundas feiras: Nível Intermédio I de 19h a 20h; Nível Intermédio II de 20h a 21h. Apresentaçom 14 de Outubro, começo o 21.

Quintas Feiras: Nível Aperfeiçoamento I de 19h a 20h; Nível Aperfeiçoamento II de 20h a 21h. Apresentaçom 17 de Outubro, começo o 24. Grupos de 6/7 pessoas max.

Preço 20€.

Queres melhorar e/ou praticar os teus conhecimentos de inglês num ambiente relaxado e informal?

Interessam-che temas relacionados com a cultura, o ambiente, o social etc…?
Entom este curso é para ti!

Nos cursos serve-se umha boa caneca de chá quentinho. Abster-se aquelas pessoas que preferirem um ‘relaxing café com leite’. ‘No tea, no life’

Curso impartido por Alfonso Barata, professor EFL ( English as a Foreign Language)

Português

Terças Feiras de 20h30 a 21h30. Apresentaçom 15 de Outubro. Começo 22 de Outubro.

Preço 14 euros Duraçom de 4 meses

Com cerca de 272,9 milhons de falantes, o português é a quinta língua mais falada no mundo. Neste curso vamos aprender aqueles conteúdos gramaticais, socioculturais e lexicais que nos ajudem a comunicar com oito países lusófonos, mas sempre tendo em conta que sermos galegas é uma entrada que favorece o acesso ao mundo em português.

Nascida em Padrom em 1982, Carmen Saborido, é licenciada em Filologia pela USC. Desde 2006 é professora no ensino secundário e EOIs. É tradutora e corretora linguística. Também dá aulas a adultos em diversas associações. Simultaneia estas atividades com o labor como professora on-line no curso Falarmos Brasil, como conferencista no ateliê divulgador OPS: O Português Simples, e como redatora do blogue de temas lusófonos Lusopatia.wordpress.com.

Língua catalá

Terças Feiras de 19h30 a 20h30.Apresentaçom 15 de Outubro. Começo 22 de Outubro. Preço 14 euros. Duraçom de 3 meses.

O curso de língua catalá está dirigido a pessoas que queiram adquirir as ferramentas lingüísticas básicas para entender textos escritos e orais em catalám, de jeito que desenvolvam as habilidades necessárias para passar da compreensom da língua ao seu uso activo. Na aula, além de aprender catalám, o alunado conhecerá parte da história e da cultura catalá. A professora do curso será Helena Capera Cullell, jornalista catalá afincada na Galiza  há seis anos. Trabalhou em distintos meios de imprensa escrita e rádio de Catalunha e tem especial interesse polas línguas e as suas falantes.

Árabe

Quintas feiras de 18h45 a 19h45. Apresentaçom 17 de Outubro. Começo 24 de Outubro. Preço 14 euros

A língua árabe é a mais falada entre as línguas semíticas com quase 422 milhons de falantes. Este curso centra-se na língua árabe clássica começando com o alfabeto, para continuar a aprender as normas gramáticas desde o início.

Nascida em Jerusalém em 1987, Samar Sabaté licenciada em Filologia e literatura inglesa com o subtítulo de literatura francesa na Universidade de Belém. Tem vários mestrados em filosofia, além de cursos de fotografia, jornalismo, avaliaçom compreensiva, ensino dinámico e focagens de aprendizagem e educaçom especial (nomeadamente em dificuldades de aprendizagem, cursados tanto na Universidade de Belém como na de Compostela). Também é co-tradutora do primeiro livro de Mahmud Darwish ao galego, “Carné de Identidade”, publicado com Barbantesa e tem experiência no ensino de línguas.

Pilates

Terças e Quintas feiras de 19h15 a 20h15. Apresentaçom 15 de Outubro. Começo 22 de Outubro. Preço 20€

O sentido destas aulas de pilates é o da prevençom da apariçom de dores no corpo, sobretodo nas costas e a coluna vertebral, o de aliviar dores corporais e o da progressiva desapariçom dos mesmos em pessoas que já sofrem esse tipo de dores através dumha série de exercícios controlados. A mente e a respiraçom som parte fundamental para a correta realizaçom dos mesmos, sendo muito importante a relaçom corpo-mente através dos princípios de controlo, precisom, fluência, concentraçom, e respiraçom. Em resumo, praticando Pilates o teu corpo sorri!

O professor será Leonardo, certificado polos e polas melhores profissionais do mundo, com ampla experiência em cursos, tanto a nível básico como para as pessoas mais exigentes, quem nom deixa de preparar-se e aprender dia a dia para proporcionar umha completa satisfaçom a todo o seu alunado….

Teatro

Terças feiras de 20h15 a 22h15 Apresentaçom 15 de outubro. Começo 22 de outubro. Preço por confirmar.

Neste obradoiro pretendemos investigar, através dos vários níveis de expressom que oferece o Teatro, o interior e o arredor de cada pessoa que conforme o grupo, assim como a interacçom do mesmo grupo, concluindo com umha representaçom cénica. Trabalharemos basicamente cinco vertentes: a expressom (oral e corporal), a imaginaçom e a criatividade, a comunicaçom, o autoconhecimento e a abordagem cultural. Salientar o carácter lúdico e de dinamizaçom social que implica a prática teatral. Zé Paredes, o professor, é actor e director de cena dedica-se à actividade profissional do teatro desde o ano 1996. Iniciou a sua formaçom no Porto, no Ballet-Teatro Escola Profissional. Em 2001 estabelece a sua relaçom com o teatro galego, através dumha co-produçom entre o Teatro do Noroeste, a Companhia de Teatro de Braga e o Centro Dramático Galego. Vive na Galiza desde 2002, tendo sido coordenador da Aula de Teatro da Universidade da Corunha e junto con Mónica Camaño cria o projecto Teatro Nu.

Fotografia I

Quintas feiras de 21h a 22h. Apresentaçom 17 de Outubro, começo o 24 de Outubro. Preço 17 euros. Duraçom de 3 meses (Após estes 3 meses começará com o mesmo horário o curso de Fotografia II). Número mínimo de participantes: 5 pessoas.

Mediante o curso pretende-se que o alunado tire o máximo proveito das suas cámaras, quer sejam compactas ou reflex, treinando o uso de todas as suas funçons assim como aprendendo os fundamentos básicos da fotografia, para desenvolver as suas potencialidades artísticas. Além disso, comentaremos os referentes históricos e artísticos necessários para compreender a importáncia histórica da fotografia na nossa sociedade. A professora será Rute André, apaixonada pola fotografia, que entende a arte como um exercício de lógica intelectual e análise, interessando-se pola funcionalidade e a racionalidade construtiva: a fotógrafa passa a ser umha engenheira visual ao serviço da sociedade.

PARA CRIANÇAS TEMOS…

Esgrima medieval para gente pequena (Artes Marciais Históricas Europeias, 10 – 15 anos).

Terças e Quintas feiras de 18h a 19h. Apresentaçom 15 de Outubro, começo 22 de Outubro. Preço 20€

Quem nom sonha ser uma valerosa guerreira, ou um cavaleiro em brilhante armadura? Se tu também viste os filmes e ficaste com vontade de ser umha das protagonistas, junta-te a nós e aprende a utilizar uma espada de verdade!
As Artes Marciais Históricas Europeias som as técnicas de luita com diversas espadas e outras armas, e sem elas, que se praticaram na Galiza e na Europa desde a Idade Média até o S.XIX. Neste curso aprenderemos como luitar coma uma guerreira do Senhor dos Anéis de forma real, divertida e sobretodo, segura. Utilizaremos simuladores de escuma para vos iniciar nesta atividade, e poderás ver e tocar as espadas autênticas que se utilizam quando tiveres um nível maior. Olha uma mostra: www.ir.gl/hema-crianzas .

As aulas estarám a cargo da Sala Compostelá de Esgrima Antiga, uma associaçom que há seis anos que ensina artes marciais históricas na nossa cidade. É umha das oito entidades federadas na Associaçom Galega de Esgrima Antiga. Vários dos seus membros publicam livros sobre esgrima histórica na editorial AGEA Editora, e pertencem à Historical European Martial Arts Coalition. Treina anualmente um grupo dumas 20 adultas, e está a espalhar a atividade às pessoas mais novas. Além de um entretimento e um bom exercício fisico, é uma forma de conhecer a nossa história e simultaneamente adquirir aptitudes adaptáveis também à defesa pessoal.
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OS CURSOS DA SEMENTE

DURAÇOM: trimestral com possibilidade de continuaçom

PREÇO DE CADA CURSO: 18€

MATRÍCULA: 15€

DESCONTOS:

Sócias da Semente ou da Gentalha do Pichel: 15€

Para mais dum curso: 15€

Irmás ou irmaos: 15€

INSCRIÇONS:

Por mail: info[arroba]sementecompostela[ponto]com

Por telefone (das 8h00 às 15h00): 881819637

DANÇA TRADICIONAL

terças de 17h00 a 18h00 ou de 18h00 a 19h00. Começo 15 de Outubro. Preço 18€

E ISTO É TEATRO? A diversidade da cena
sextas de 17h00 a 18h00 ou de 18h00 a 19h00. Começo 18 de Outubro. Preço 18€

Com Xiana Carracelas

Licenciada em História da Arte e titulada em Arte Dramática. Nestes anos tem desenvolvido a sua actividade tanto no plano actoral como na criaçom  de diferentes propostas cénicas multidisciplinares, com que participa em festivais nacionais e internacionais.

topless dog bite originally appeared on My[confined]Space NSFW on September 24, 2013.

Ganador de una buena colección de premios Eisner (mejor número en 2004, mejor serie y mejor publicación de humor en 2005, mejor autor de humor y mejor dibujante en 2008), es curioso como al principio me costó un poco entrar en el mundo de El Bruto de Eric Powell. Hoy me encanta, así que debo buscar respuesta a esa mala entrada por mi parte, y la encuentro en dos aspectos. El primero es que por leer en diagonal un texto que lo citaba, me enfrenté a los primeros números desde el punto de vista del fan de los zombis que soy. Es cierto que en El Bruto (The Goon en el original) hay muertos vivientes, que muerden y todo, pero no es un elemento crucial y, desde luego, su aportación a ese género concreto es más bien tangencial, a la par que original. El segundo problema que tuve de inicio procede, de hecho, de que la edición española a cargo de Norma (que lleva ya 10 entregas) empezara desde donde deben empezar las cosas, desde el principio. Y mira que lo avisaban por activa y por pasiva, que esos primeros números, autoeditados y primitivos antes de hallar cobijo en el sello Dark Horse, estaban muy lejos de lo que era en realidad la serie. Lo decían pero no me puse el chip. De todas formas, insistí, y menos mal.

Es posible que también haya sido una afortunada, e inconsciente, intuición, haber ido dejando que se acumularan unos cuantos números en la pila de tebeos por leer, esa pila que tan bien conocemos los aficionados a la lectura (y que tantas alegrías nos da de vez en cuando). La aparición el mes pasado de un nuevo número, el 10 ya, titulado El avaricioso castigo de la muerte, me llevó a decidir que tocaba ponerme al día y escribir sobre ello por aquí. Así que separé los cinco volúmenes españoles que tenía por leer: Chinatatown y el misterio del Sr. Mimbre, que supone un importante giro en cuestión de dramatismo dentro de una serie cargada de humor grueso en ocasiones salvaje; el gran arco argumental que componen Un lugar donde reina la pena y el dolor, Esos que están malditos y Calamitosa crisis de consciencia; y el mencionado último número aparecido, cuyo contenido principal es una miniserie de tres números de uno de los secundarios de El Bruto: Carroña. Leer tantas páginas seguidas incrementan notablemente el disfrute y permiten apreciar con mejor perspectiva la calidad de esta serie que Eric Powell ha ido construyendo poco a poco, dando coherencia a un muy original universo poblado de grandes secundarios. Si su humor directo, a menudo de asombrosa incorrección, se distingue en la lectura de un número suelto (cada volumen de Norma reúne unos 5 o 6, al igual que los TPB originales), el tono trágico que lo envuelve se percibe realmente con la lectura continua y seguida de varias entregas, como más mejor.

Me doy cuenta que estoy escribiendo mucho sin introducir demasiado qué es El Bruto a quienes lo desconozcan. Quizá he tardado porque resulta complicado, son muchos los condimentos. Dando un vistazo rápido, se muestra como un tebeo de tortazos en el que un tipo muy musculado, feo de narices, con boina y camiseta a rayas se enfrenta a puñetazos contra todo tipo de monstruos. Cuando uno se adentra en la lectura aprecia que siendo eso correcto, hay mucho más. Por ejemplo, un humor negro, escatológico, bestia, burro e incorrecto, cosas que son de agradecer. En las introducciones, que siguen el modelo de rincón del pelota ilustre (con firmas como David Fincher o Frank Darabont), etiquetan ese humor como propio de alguien nacido y criado en Tennessee, el humor bronco y palurdo de los rednecks del sur profundo de los EEUU. Eric Powell es de Tennessee, claro.

El humor no es lo único que da personalidad a este tebeo de tortazos y monstruos, también está el contexto: El Callejón solitario, un lugar entre lo suburbial y lo rural, rodeado de pantanos y ambientado como si la Gran Depresión se hubiera quedado allí anclada durante siglos. Un pueblo de mala muerte, olvidado, donde sólo caben tugurios de un barrio bajo portuario y donde conviven gánster, zombis, mujeres fatales, brujas gitanas, hombres lobos, cabareteras, trolls, bestias del pantano y niños huérfanos. Todos estos personajes configuran un gran plantel de secundarios y dotan a El Bruto de un excelente tono coral. Lo curioso es que esa amalgama acaba por funcionar perfectamente, y que con el largo recorrido se descubre que tortazos, monstruos y humor cafre enmascaran un tono trágico que lo envuelve todo de manera cada vez menos subterránea. El Callejón solitario es un lugar maldito habitado por el desamor, la infelicidad y el drama de las almas perdidas. Un lugar donde reina la pena y el dolor, como tan bien define el título de la séptima entrega.

En lo gráfico, esa amalgama también está presente, porque si de entrada se puede hablar de un brillante clasicismo realista, que bebe de Frank Frazetta o Bernie Wrightson, intoxicado por los autores más caricaturescos de la EC o incluso apuntes propios del dibujo animado que vienen muy bien para amortiguar la contundente violencia y el gore a lo grand guignol de algunos pasajes. El propio Bruto, el protagonista, es una mezcla de Popeye, el Hombre de Arena original del Spiderman de Ditko o del Ben Grimm de Kirby si no se hubiera convertido en La Cosa y en vez de irse a hacer de astronauta se hubiera quedado de matón en la calle Yancy (y la pandilla de niños huérfanos, que son de mis personajes preferidos, ayudan a esa analogía. Como ven, Eric Powell ha ido construyendo durante años un universo personal, muy original al mismo tiempo que lleno de todo tipo de referentes.

¿Y qué se puede decir de El avaricioso castigo de la muerte, última entrega publicada aquí? Pues que contiene dos números sueltos y un spin off de tres números protagonizado por Carroña, crucial secundario. Los dos números sueltos funcionan como entreacto tras la larga saga que los precede. El primero es una broma poco destacable alrededor del cumpleaños de El Bruto y el segundo es un efectivo episodio autoconclusivo, absolutamente visual y sin textos. En realidad, lo que merece la pena es la miniserie de Carroña, que me ha gustado mucho. El personaje es un ser maldito, con aspecto de predicador del Salvaje Oeste, condenado a una vida eterna llena de sinsabores, y la historia un muy cruel cuento para adultos que se mueve entre lo siniestro, lo gótico y el eurowestern fantasmagórico, y no es nada complaciente, cosa que aplaudo.

El artículo Un paseo por el Callejón Solitario, allí donde mora El Bruto. apareció primero en GenComics.

1. Take pictures

Whether it is on your iPhone or a Hasselblad, take pictures as much a possible. Once you train yourself to be looking for beautiful things to photograph, you will start to notice the beauty around you more and more. The pictures don’t have to be good, but if they are, hey congrats! Just take pictures and recognize how much beauty the world has to offer you. When you start to see with an eye that is searching for beautiful things, life becomes a hell of a lot of a nicer place to be.

2. Work out

It doesn’t matter if you bike to work in the morning, train for a marathon, or walk your dog for an hour, just work out. Exercise is proven to help your brain function. Working out releases endorphins like eating chocolate or taking ecstasy, except working out is a lot better for you all around. Duh. Being active will also help boost your self-esteem and what not. So stop staring at the Internet for 10 hours a day and go climb a rock wall or something.

3. Touch another human

The human touch is known to have healing powers of sorts.

Feeling depressed? Hug someone.

Even just a hand on your back can make you feel infinitely better almost immediately. Find someone. Anyone. Okay not anyone… that could be super creepy. A friend, roommate, significant other, family member, etc.

4. Listen to happy music

Okay, turn off your Taking Back Sunday and put on something upbeat. Seriously, enough emo music. Delete your “sad” playlist (I know you have one). Whether it is Britney Spears or Hall & Oats, happy and upbeat music will raise your spirits. It is pretty easy to listen to sad music and feel sorry for yourself, but that will make you sadder, so that is a pretty stupid thing to do. It is hard to listen to happy music and not start to feel a little bit better at least.

5. Do Something Spontaneous

Spontaneity is an awesome way to take a break from the mundane daily routine that young people often find themselves stuck in. For example, I love routines and schedules and organization, but if I never break out of the mold that I have created for myself, my brain starts to function on autopilot, which is a rather depressing way to live. Every once and a while I try and do something totally different. It could be surprising someone or it could be going on a random adventure. Either way, it is important to do every once in a while, to show yourself you still know how to have fun.

When Baz Luhrmann’s The Great Gatsby premiered earlier this year, it sparked anew the debate about it’s central female: Is Daisy the American Dream, a femme fatale, a silly little fool or a spoiled little rich girl in over her head? Although Luhrmann gave us all glam, the character is anything but — and one of the most widely hated in history.

In addition to Ms. Buchanan, who tops this list, here are 17 terrible and irritating characters from great books (so no Twilight, thanks). What makes them so annoying is that they’re so well-written that they get under your skin — and stay there.

1. Daisy Buchanan from The Great Gatsby

Is there a more insufferable character in literature? Baz Luhrmann may have made Daisy into a fashion icon, but Fitzgerald readers know that the only thing she’s fit to be a symbol of is selfishness and greed. No one in The Great Gatsby is a treasure (even Jay sucks, when you think about it), but the coked-out Daisy is on another level of shittiness. Daisy represents the garish shallowness of the Roaring Twenties with ease, and every single one of her lines is like nails on a chalkboard. Personally I was rooting for the Great Depression to come sooner.

2. Pearl from The Scarlet Letter

Kids in classic literature are usually annoying, and it’s much more difficult to think of a likable child than a brat, but Pearl takes the cake. Hawthorne means Pearl to be an embodiment of Hester’s punishment – to get under our skin as readers. The narrator describes Pearl as an “imp of evil, emblem and product of sin, she had no right among christened infants,” and even Hester can’t stand her. There’s a memorable scene where Ms. Prynne screams, “Child, what art thou?” and Pearl shoots the question right back at her. Pearl may be annoying, but for a three-year-old, she’s no dummy.

3. Raskolnikov from Crime and Punishment

Dostoyevsky has a knack for writing deplorable men (and the narrator of Notes From Underground is equally irritating), but the reason Raskolnikov makes the list is that he’s actively unbearable to spend time with. From his constant neurotic frittering to his monologues about being a superman, Raskolnikov really puts the anti- in anti-hero. In a lot of ways, he’s reminiscent of TV’s Walter White, another character who meets his downfall because he believes himself to be extraordinary, and Dexter Morgan, who were not even going to talk about. It’s ruined now.

4. Holden Caulfield from The Catcher in the Rye

I know that Holden has been branded as a hero for an entire generation of young hipsters who also think everything is “phony,” but as much as I found his angst to be relatable and real, I still wanted him to develop lockjaw. Holden constantly whines about everything like an eight-year-old locked in the car on a family vacation they don’t want to be on, and I was just glad I didn’t have to be trapped with the little fucker in real life. He might be one of the most compelling characters ever written, but you’d never want to hang out with him.

5. Edna Pontellier from The Awakening

Edna Pontellier is a feminist icon and a daring representation of women at a time when books were actually burned for having women that didn’t conform to society’s rules on motherhood and femininity. The book was incredibly controversial and widely censored when it came out, and it still divides us today. That’s because on top of being one of the most important characters in history, Edna is a dreadful human – which is kind of the point. She’s supposed to push our socio-cultural buttons. Many ding her for being a bad mother and an adulteress, but for me, it’s that she’s incredibly annoying about it. Throughout the book, I could practically see her breathing her insipid dialogue through her mouth, and when she drowns herself at the end, I frankly couldn’t be happier. Thank God for the undercurrent.

6. Patrick Bateman from American Psycho

Patrick Bateman is obviously the worst human being (after all, he kills people in his fantasies), but on top of being a self-involved psychopath, Bateman is surprisingly hollow. Bateman is a product of a system that allows the wealthy and powerful to cut up society, and he dispenses pop-culture-reference-laced privilege with a mixture of glee and apprehension, as if he would feel something if he could feel. You almost feel for him, but as he describes cutting up dead women with surgical precision, you feel like killing him even more.

7. Anna Karenina from Anna Karenina

Anna Karenina has the same problem that Edna Pontellier, Becky Sharp and Madame Bovary have: Their romantic travails are epically frustrating, and as much as you want them to be happy, you also can’t help but hate them. Anna pretty much takes the cake in this regard, one of the biggest hot messes in literature history. She’s a literal trainwreck, and you wish you could assign a Sassy Gay Friend to help her make better decisions. If only that were possible.

8. Professor Umbridge from Harry Potter

I know no other literary character that inspires utter revulsion from every single reader like Professor Umbridge. Stephen King once called her the greatest villain since Hannibal Lecter, and Umbridge is like Darth Vader with a 60’s haircut and the world’s most ruthless smile. Even saying her name gives me the chills. She’s somehow immensely insufferable and terrifying in equal measure, making condescension into a sport. Umbridge could also probably beat the shit out of you in a fist fight. She looks like she’s got a killer hook to go with that wand.

9. The Ewells from To Kill a Mockingbird

You could pick a least favorite Ewell — but Bob, Mayella and the whole clan are all equally horrible people. Harper Lee uses them to prove that people on the lowest rungs of society will always find others to pick on and demonize, and their class-constructed hate makes you cringe because of how positively banal it is. This is the way the world works, and as Mayella works to frame an innocent man, it reads like Lord of the Flies. This is what it means to survive in the South.

10. Dante from The Inferno

The Inferno is a great book, a terrifying (and literal) descent into hell, but part of the torture of the novel is the author himself, who wrote one of the bitchiest books in history. Dante used hell as an opportunity to condemn people he didn’t like, and his “damned souls” range from Attila the Hun to Tiresias, the blind prophet who appears in Sophocles’ Oedipus Rex. Dante Alligheri never met a random ass person he couldn’t hold a bizarre grudge against.

11. Lady Brett Ashley from The Sun Also Rises

Everyone in The Sun Also Rises sucks. Much like Jean-Paul Sartre’s The Age of Reason, the book is a constant contest to see who can one-up each other in the category of “Most Unlikeable,” but Lady Brett Ashley wins, only because she seems to find herself really charming. It’s a misapprehension everyone in the book seems to share, as the men around Ashley routinely fawn over her. Like Daisy Buchanan, no one can see the hollowness beneath the gorgeous façade, but if literature is anything like its author’s life, they were all probably too drunk to notice what a dick she really is.

12. Henry Miller in Every Single Book He Ever Wrote

Henry Miller’s leads are thinly veiled versions of himself – or rather, the man that Henry Miller would like to be in his wettest of dreams. Every woman Miller ever meets seems to think that he’s the greatest lover they’ve ever had – God’s gift to women. This “gift” is also a misogynistic unemployed narcissist with lice and a misanthropic streak, hardly the Mr. Darcy figure Miller wants to be. He may be aloof as he bounces between beds, affairs and apartments, but there’s nothing charming about it. He’s like the James Frey of sex, and you deeply just want someone to call Henry Miller on his bull. Baby, you aren’t the greatest. You’re full of shit.

13. Abigail from The Crucible

I realize that Arthur Miller’s The Crucible is a play, but Abigail is so beyond-the-call-of-duty horrible that I had to bend the rules to include her. Umbridge notwithstanding, it’s difficult to think of a character that I hate more than Abigail, a manipulative witch who leads to the downfall of all of those around her. The character is a brilliant actress, and during her soaring monologues, I can’t help but want to burn her at the stake. If you haven’t seen Winona Ryder’s interpretation of the character (in the Daniel Day-Lewis film version), Ryder will somehow make you hate her even more. Yes, it’s possible.

14. Huckleberry Finn from The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Although I know a lot of people who feel this way about Tom Sawyer, I can’t fucking stand Huck Finn as a character. While thinking that Mark Twain is the greatest satirist who ever lived, his most brilliant comic creation is an Ignatius J. Reilly type, someone you both laugh at and want to slap. Huck Finn is magnetic enough, despite the annoyance, to where you don’t wish him death ala Dolores Umbridge, but if that were my kid, I would have punished him forever and washed his mouth out with a bar of soap. Even great characters need to be spanked every once in a while.

15. Dominique Francon from The Fountainhead

As much as I cannot stand Objectivism, I honestly think that The Fountainhead is a great work of literature — with a gripping story and writing as sleek as its main character’s architecture. Rand had a gift when it came to melding thematics and prose, but the novel’s biggest mistep is her female lead, a howlingly obvious stand-in for the author. Rand describes Dominique as a cold, high-femme version of herself and when she invites Howard Roark to dominate her, the whole thing smacks of repressed sexual fantasy. It’s beyond awkward.

16. and 17. Lydia and Kitty from Pride and Prejudice

Jane Austen brilliantly writes a range of types of women in a way that few authors allow. Austen’s characters can be everything from buoyant to whimsical and willful, and you can’t help but identify with Elizabeth as she navigates the confines of gender and class in Victorian England. However, Austen also makes room for women who make you want to poison yourself, from the overbearing Mrs. Bennett (who at least wants the best for her children) to Kitty and Lydia, two of the most irritating narrative obstacles in history. You see that it’s not just class Elizabeth has to overcome. It’s her family, the most dreadful fate of all.

Readers, who are some literary characters you just can’t stand?

Due to things like people starting their own pickle companies and liberalism, being poor is pretty in right now. Rich kids, at odds with the current trend, have responded primarily in two ways–they’ve either upped their own trust in #trustfundlife, or they’ve used their considerable means to heavily invest in appearing to be poor.

(Some of course have simply opted to be well adjusted, non-douchey humans, but they’d probably make for a boring article you wouldn’t read. My bad, normal, well-adjusted rich kids.)

So with that in mind, consult the following methods hip and happening rich kids use to reach peak beggar status:

1. Become Documentarians

Documentaries are the ultimate middle finger to rich people–in addition to not making any money and being almost primarily about the evils of capitalism, they also have a tendency to have been created by the youngest sibling of a super wealthy family. Black Sheep Children are the best documentarians.

2. Get #Deep Into The Drug Trade

As the classic Cobra Starship lyric “I Make Them Good Girls Go Bad” informs us, extreme amounts of cash can lead a person to fiscally-endorsed self destruction.

Enter, drugs. Enter, being addicted to drugs, or dealing drugs–two things that will likely cause a rich homie to interact with a poor homie. In nice #synergy with number one, see this documentary:

3. Befriend The Poors

Chad Johnson once documented an experience he had with a homeless man. After the homeless man named “Pork Chop” asked Johnson for a beer, he decided to buy him a whole case of beer, cigarettes, and ended up spending the entire night with his new friend.

Johnson didn’t exactly pretend to be poor, but he set the stage for an eventual long game–if they were to stay friends, sometimes Johnson would have to go to Pork Chop’s house, and hang out with Pork Chop’s socio-ecomically challenged friends. Kind of like why Matt Damon never wanted Minnie Driver to go to his house in Good Will Hunting. True commitment means you’re gonna have to slum it up. If you’ve seen a romantic drama, you probably know this.

4. Wear Beanies

The millennial prophet Hoodie Allen once said “rich kids never pay for clothes, that’s freestyle.” In other news, beanies are the ultimate class-transcending clothing article.

5. …And On A General Level, Become Extremely Fashionable

Jacobim Mugatu’s “Derelict” campaign may have been quite the knee-slapper, but half the reason why it’s so funny is because cutting-edge fashion sometimes looks frighteningly like rags. True art, though.

6. Spend Months Backpacking In Foreign Countries

Backpacking is super #barebones and #minimalist. Very much like Jack Bauer at the beginning of half of the 24 seasons, backpacking is all about being as anonymous as possible, ensuring that people never find out your true identity.

Basically what I’m trying to say, is that the point of backpacking is to meet some dude in Budapest, be friends with him for two weeks, get drunk and tell him about your gamechanging business idea, then have him reveal to you he’s a secret millionaire. Happens all the time.

7. Create A Life Narrative That Leads People To Believe That At One Point, You Were Severely Disadvantaged

8. Constantly Talk About Growing Up With “Inner City” Kids, Or Talk At Length About The Terrible Areas Nearby

A fair chunk of American rich kids live in or near Los Angeles. Due to capitalism, Los Angeles is a lot like a third-world country–you’ll have really nice areas, and then a few blocks away you’ll have really terrible areas.

I didn’t grow up in Los Angeles, but I’m going to employ logic and prior knowledge of rich people to assume that there were countless cultural/social justice immersion programs that pitted kids who say “my father” with kids who weren’t fortunate enough to have one.

While these experiences have hopefully given rich kids a much greater understanding of his or her accidental fortune, they also aide in giving these types the opportunity to tell other rich kids about how “hard” they are relative to everyone else, now that they have a friend who once dealt heroin. Classic rich to poor bandwagoning–tragic perhaps, but not surprising. These are human beings we’re talking about.

9. Refer To Other People You Know As “Rich People”

This dissociates you from said rich people, tricking everyone into thinking that you are not one of them. Make sure to enunciate with extreme disgust.

10. Exhibit The Same Tendencies Exhibited By Simon The Script Doctor

This story appeared in the New Yorker earlier this year, and it’s a brilliant take on why wealth leads to inherent satisfaction. The writer, Simon Rich, exhibits the shortcomings of the current generation via a fictionalized version of himself. The Simon in the story is a script doctor from Brooklyn, and definitely seems like the type of dude who loves to act poor when it’s convenient. A nice reminder of the fact that if you prefer your struggle hashtagged, it’s no struggle at all.

Image: Dudarev Mikhail/Shutterstock

So, you're a vegan and you're mad that you can't drink Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Latte. Well, maybe you want to skip this post because your day ain't going to get much better. You see, almost *everything* in the world contains something made from animal parts and by-products.

Don't believe us? Here are 5 things in the world that you wouldn't believe are made from or contain animal by-products or use them in the manufacturing process:

1. Car Tires

Yes, tires are made of rubber, which are plant products but the wheel on the bus goes round and round with a little help from stearic acid.

Stearic acid is a fatty acid with many industrial applications - and when we say many, we mean a bajillion. This chemical compound is used as a surfactant and softening agent. It is found in soaps, cosmetics, detergents, lubricants, candles, food, and even fireworks. Car tires manufacturers use stearic acid as an additive to help "cure" the rubber in the tires and make them strong enough to hold their shape while under steady friction yet flexible enough to grip the road.

Oh, and that "stearic" in stearic acid is derived from the Greek word "stear" which means tallow, a rendered form of beef or mutton fat.

2. Drywall

Unless you live in a brick or mud house, then chances are, your wall is made of drywall or sheetrock. These are gypsum plaster sheets used to make interior walls and ceilings. Then, unless you live in an unfinished garage, chances are your walls are painted. Well, both drywall and paint contain animal by-products.

Drywall is made by creating a slurry of gypsum with additives such as starch, paper pulp and fatty acids like stearic acid (ta-da!) and oleic acid (also made from animal fat) as emulsifier and thickener.

3. Paint

Many brands of paint (even latex-based paint) contain a binder called casein, a protein found in cow milk. Never heard of casein? You may not know it, but you are familiar with casein: in its coagulated form, casein is called cheese.

4. Sugar

Good ol' white sugar isn't white to begin with. Rather, large sugar manufacturers use a filter made from bone char - basically charred ash of animal bones (mostly from cattle) - to decolorize sugar cane to the desired white form.

Well, how about if I just use brown sugar, you say. Turns out most brown sugar is just white sugar with molasses added as brown colorant.

5. Asphalt

Yes, that black stuff used to pave roads and parking lots contain glycerin, a release agent that prevents it from sticking to the containers, as well as other animal by-product based additives to help the ease of mixing and paving as well as control rutting and cracking.

Maybe it’s just me, but if I’m going to a zoo and safari park where I’m able to stand out in a field with lions and tigers, unseparated by cages, I’m probably not going to choose that day to dress in the pattern of those animals’ favorite prey, such as say, a zebra. Just seems like maybe kind of a bad idea.

But apparently that’s exactly what’s happening at Chessington World of Adventures in south London.

The Guardian reports that zookeepers noticed abnormal behaviors as soon as the park opened its new section that allows visitors to drive through a safari area and interact more closely with the animals. “Keepers reported that some animals had tried to communicate with visitors, while others had run away, fearing they were predators,” reports the Guardian.

“Animals are getting confused when they see what looks like zebras and giraffes driving across the terrain in a 7.5 tonne truck,” said spokeswoman Natalie Dilloway.

As a result they’ve banned all animal-print clothing, including leopard, tiger, cheetah and giraffe. (Yes, apparently someone was rocking giraffe print.) They’re even giving grey body suits to anyone who tries to break the “no animal print” dress code, or even anyone who is dressed too colorfully—apparently it drives gorillas crazy. “Giraffes have also been putting their heads right into the trucks, and one named Kismet has really taken to the sight of different animal prints,” said Becky Elkin.

The zookeepers also shared some helpful advice for the safari section: Don’t look weak. “Big cats will start getting interested if someone limps past their enclosure because they look weak.”

Got that, Londoners? When hitting up Chessington World of Adventures dress plainly and walk all macho, and you probably won’t get eaten by a tiger.

Image: Guardian

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