Snob

Photographer Anthony Stuart calls his blog Daddy’s Little Prop. That’s a great name for the blog of any father with a camera. His daughter was born in July and his wife is, you will agree, “a very good sport.” While she was pregnant--and after--they took a series of photos of the child being conceived and born.

Your sex ed classes are out of date! It’s all magic these days. You can see the rest of the series here.

-via My Modern Met

What will you be when you grow up? Mike’s VectorBelly webcomic is far too pessimistic. There are a dozen more employers at which you could be a wage slave. The upside: you’ll get two uniform shirts on your first day of employment (N.B. the cost will be deducted from your first paycheck).

And what’s the still-hidden answer #4? Dead.

Scientists have found gold in eucalyptus tree leaves. Well, they knew microscopic gold particles were in the tree leaves, but recent experiments prove that the gold came from the ground underneath instead of being blown in by the wind. Eucalyptus tree roots grow very deep, more than 130 feet in some cases, to access water. When they take up the water, gold particle leech up into the tree.

The researchers compared eucalyptus tree leaves at gold prospecting sites in Western Australia with leaves from trees 2,625 feet (800 meters) away. They also grew eucalyptus trees in greenhouses with potting soil dosed with gold particles, as well as in normal potting soil without gold.

What They Found

Leaves preferentially stored microscopic gold particles about eight micrometers wide on average. Study authors speculate the particles came from underground, seemingly taken up by the root system of the trees. About 20 leaves needed to be sampled to statistically reveal the presence of gold underneath the trees.

The leaves never contain a lot of gold, but the presence of any may indicate what spots contain gold underground, which is a lot easier than digging randomly to find it. Read more about eucalyptus gold at National Geographic News.-Thanks, Marilyn Terrell!

(Image credit: Bill Hatcher/National Geographic)

What's better, loaded nachos or grilled cheese sandwiches? It's a hard decision as each has its benefits, but now you don't have to decide thanks to the heavenly blend between the two dubbed the "Loaded Nacho Game Day Grilled Cheese" by its creator, BS In The Kitchen.

The magnificent taste sensation adds black beans, salsa, olives, cilantro, avocado, jalapeno, scrambled eggs, nacho Doritos, tomatoes, seasoned ground beef, green onions and sour cream to an already melty, gooey grilled cheese sandwich. The only thing that would make this sound even better (at least, to me) would be a little carne asada in place of the ground beef -just like what you find on the best nachos. 

(Photo: Penny Smith)

Although it doesn’t have the same effect as holding up the heart of one your enemies, this is still pretty badass. But dealing with hardship with good spirits has always been Penny Smith’s strength. She had cancer when she was 3 years old and developed heart problems in 1994. Last year, she had a heart transplant.

Here she is holding up her old heart while her new one keeps her alive. This photo was taken a few months after her transplant:

"That was in the hospital in the pathology lab," Smith said. "I was saying goodbye to my heart, actually, because I felt like it got me through half of my life and I needed to say goodbye to it. So I was saying goodbye, and getting to know my new heart.

"My doctors made me wait because they didn't think I was ready. I wanted to be able to hold it, and they didn't want me to drop it.

"I was happy to see it again-well, see it for the first time, I guess.

"My husband even got to hold it. It felt really weird for both of us, but it was amazing to get to hold something that was once in someone."

You may think you're tough, but are you "Holding your own heart in your hand" tough? pic.twitter.com/rgJYZKeZg4

— Robb Allen (@ItsRobbAllen) October 23, 2013

I found this story while searching for information about the above photo, which is also impressive to an almost Ron Swanson level.

Ed Mitchell has redesigned the 50 state flags (and Washington D.C.’s flag) with a design aesthetic that promotes the “United” part of our nation’s name.

Not too long ago I heard a radio piece about a city flag. Curiosity led me down the path to our state flags. I was immediately bothered by how discordant they are as a group, and I wasn’t surprised to learn they break just about every rule of flag design. (More on the official rules of flag design later.) When you look at them all together, there’s no indication they come from the same nation.

After removing items indicative of a divided nation (Civil War symbols, etc.) and using similar coloring throughout, Mitchell redesigned all 50 state flags following the 5 basic rules of flag design as dictated by the International Federation of Vexillological Association (FIAV):

To see the flags and the thought process behind each of their designs, head over to Accelerator.

h/t: ANIMAL

nude woman with light saber originally appeared on My[confined]Space NSFW on October 23, 2013.

To kick off the men's health awareness project Movember, Nick Offerman presents, How to Grow a Moustache and Great Moments in Moustache History.

MIT's Technology Review Charts the decline of Wikipedia.

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1a. Reasonable vacation/sick time (along with societal approval of said leave)

In Spain, full-time employees are guaranteed 22 paid vacation days, not including 14 public holidays. This is actually less than many other countries in the Eurozone (UK: 28, France: 25-35 Germany: 20-30) despite the reputation that Spaniards have a penchant for long vacations (the city of Madrid really is dead in August.)

The U.S. has no mandated annual leave days. None. 0. Zilch.

Generally, companies with more than 50 employees provide between 8 and 12 days of vacation a year, adding a day for each year worked. To say that this is inhumane isn’t even cutting it. However, the real problem I’ve found with vacation time in the U.S. is the stigma that surrounds using vacation time (i.e. you’re somehow not a hard worker or as competitive as your colleagues if you take it) or even the nature of the workplace that makes taking multiple days in a row nearly impossible without making life miserable for yourself upon your return. This has resulted in an increasing number of Americans not using the pathetic amount of annual leave they are allotted to start with.

1b. Maternity leave

This one gets a separate section, but falls under a similar idea as the first item. Only four countries in the world have no national law mandating paid time off for new parents. Four. The United States is one of them. The other three are Liberia, Papua New Guinea and Swaziland. The infant mortality rates in those countries are 7.1%, 4.08% and 5.8% respectively, to give you an idea of where women’s health stands in those countries.

Birth is the most natural process there is. The right to begin a family and have children is universal, and yet the United States has one of the worst maternity leave situations. In an age where most mothers both want to and often need to work, our system has not remotely caught up.

The increasing amount of women who are employed has transformed the home, the workplace and social dynamics in the last 50 years or so, and yet the only law on the book that mandates companies provide maternity leave (the Family and Medical Leave Act, 1993) is for companies with 50+ employees and you must have worked at least 12 months/1,250 hours in the previous year. This leave is not mandatory to be paid however and is only up to 3 months. No reputable daycare in the United States will accept a child over 5 months so parents must scrape together their already limited vacation/sick time (see above) or rely on relatives and friends, which not everyone has. Additionally, prenatal care in the U.S. is ranked among the worst in first-world countries and much of it is not covered by insurance plans or requires large copays, making the U.S. the most expensive place to have a baby.  

Alternatively, in Spain a mother is provided with prenatal care free of charge and is given 16 weeks of 100% paid leave, as well as up to a year of 31% paid leave. A mother can take up to 3 years of unpaid leave with a guarantee of her job when she returns. Imagine that… a mother who gets to be a mother to her own child! A father also gets 15 days of paternity leave with 15 additional days that can be borrowed from the mother’s leave. Since public education in Spain begins at age 3, a family is guaranteed childcare for their children until they are 18 and all children have access to quality, affordable preschool education.

2. The metric system and Celsius 

So there are 12 inches in a foot, 3 feet in a yard, 5,280 feet in a mile… I think… water freezes at 32°F and boils at 212°F. I’m an American and even I don’t fully get our system… I literally had to look some of that up. Of course I get it in theory and I still have to do the conversion in my head for Celsius. I can only gage meters off of how long a boy once told me it was to his house (200 meters takes about 5 minutes to walk if you stop to kiss along the way) but that’s only because I grew up in our system and have 25+ years of training in it, not because it’s actually logical.

The only other countries not using it being Burma and Liberia. A study in 1968 determined that the U.S. would eventually adapt to the rest of the world and hop on the metrification bandwagon. We are still waiting. Attempts in 1975 and again in 1981 failed due to “resistance, apathy, and sometimes ridicule.”

Sure, it would be hard. But the UK and all of their old commonwealths did it. Mexico did it.

Say it with me, America… 100 centimeters in a meter. 1,000 meters in a kilometer. Water freezes at 0°C and boils at 100°C. Perhaps if we got our heads out of our star-spangled asses and realize how easy this is, it wouldn’t be a subject of apparent “ridicule?” Alas, one can hope.

3. Bilingual public schools

In 2004, Spain began an initiative to introduce a bilingual curriculum to public schools across the nation. Now, there are over 400 bilingual primary schools in Madrid alone. Most are English/Spanish, but some focus on French, German or Italian. These schools are still working out the kinks, but their mission is clear: producing an educated, bilingual group of students who are equipped for a globalizing market and populace.

Despite an ever-increasing Latino population, the U.S. is hardly close to being bilingual or even speaking multiple languages at a proficient level. There is a joke (at our expense) that I heard abroad:

If you call a person who speaks 2 languages “bilingual” and a person who speaks 3 languages “trilingual,” what do you call a person who only speaks 1 language? An American.

Only about 10% of native-born Americans speak a language other than English, putting us at a huge disadvantage when it comes to issues of education, tourism, economics and national security.

4. Staying an individual after becoming married/having children

I understand that I could get a lot of flack for this, but it is my perception that a lot of Americans take on things like “wife,” “husband,” “mother,” and “father,” not just as additional roles, but almost as their entire identities when they get married and have children. It seems that as soon as many Americans become parents, they give up their social lives, their hobbies and a big part of their sense of social self. They turn inwards while making their children the only thing in their lives without looking elsewhere to gain sustenance and support. This means they often grow unhappy because they’ve forcibly forgotten their sexuality and their sociality, having sacrificed it for a dull, brown burlap suit fit for spit-up and crayon markings, but not for play time at a café. Spaniards, along with maintaining a better work/life balance in general, remain social even as they marry and have children and not just with other families from their children’s schools.

Though Spain is often known as historically being a more machismo culture, I actually found that women in Spain retained their sense of self more than Americans did as they aged. Part of this could be due to the cultural differences in taking or not taking a husband’s name after marriage. Women in Spain keep their names after marriage and children are given two last names: that of their father’s and their mother’s.

Like most American children, I grew up doodling “Allison insert-name-of-current-crush-here” on my notebooks. These days, I don’t recognize 1/4 my Facebook friends because they’ve gotten married and have a new last name. I just assumed that I would marry and change my name until I moved to Spain and realized it’s not universal to all cultures. While I understand the idea of having a family united under one name, the paternalistic nature of the wife and children adopting just the husband’s name doesn’t sit quite right with me. 

Writing Christmas cards to Spanish families can be exhausting (everyone has two last names and the parents each differ from the children in two of them), but this small price to pay seems worth it as it also seems to have cultural ramifications in terms of how one identifies after marriage and children. I’m not saying one ceases to be themselves after getting married if they take your husband’s name, and it’s certainly a personal choice, but before doing so “because that’s how it’s always been done” in the Anglo-Saxon world, take a moment to consider the historical implications. 

5. Sunday lunches and paseos with family/friends 

While sometimes it can be a bit much (children often live with their parents through their late-20s and beyond and even when they move out will live in the same neighborhood or even in the same building), Spaniards prioritize family time and spending quality time with family members.

One tradition I love is the Sunday lunch. Other than a Norman Rockwell painting, this seems to have largely disappeared from the American landscape. Spaniards still gather with their families or close friends on Sundays for a big spread that includes the aperitivo (tapas or the like before lunch, usually out at a local restaurant), the main meal (often paella or another large traditional dish) and the sobremesa, which is conversation and coffee with fruit and cheese afterwards. This is often followed by a paseo (stroll) around the neighborhood where they socialize with each other and other people from their neighborhood.

Most stores aren’t even open on Sundays in Spain. Sometimes this is inconvenient, but it means that family and friend time gets prioritized and it’s not so easy to make excuses for things you “need to do.” After all, we all need at least one day a week where we don’t feel like we “need” to do anything other than spend quality time with the ones we love.

Runners-up included: free appetizers with drinks, wine that isn’t marked up 700% in restaurants, reliable and on-time public transportation, putting the comma outside the parenthesis and pedestrian friendly streets.

Bonus: Jamón. Because it’s like Spanish crack.

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1. Banks and institutions that stay open for a reasonable portion of the day

Banks, but also any institution where people often need to go in-person should be open for more than 4 hours a day and ideally 5 days a week plus Saturdays for a limited schedule. I understand that this is expensive, but if my school requires me to be there from 9am-4:30pm every day and you want me to go make a change to my account any time between 10am and 2pm, get on it. Additionally, branches should be able to perform the same tasks regardless of the location. There were a number of times that I took off work to go to BBVA or Vodafone and I was told I had to perform certain transactions in the branch where I opened my account. Huh? If I work in Las Rozas, how can I be expected to make it to Calle Princesa in the 4 midday hours the branch is open? Or, now that I’m back in the States, I certainly can’t be expected to buy a plane ticket just to shut down my bank account. If you are a national or international company, things should be standardized. Standardized policy and regulation in general would be good, actually. Not “I didn’t have my café con leche yet today, so it’s not happening. #sorrynotsorry.”

2. TJMaxx/Marshall’s/Second hand shops

One day a colleague from Spain and I got to talking about the lack of second hand shops or places to donate old clothing in Spain. When I lived in Madrid, there were countless times that I passed trashcans on the street overflowing with clothing and it truly pained me. (Occasionally I damn near sorted through the stuff myself). There were so many people who could make use of those clothes, especially now with the crisis. Not even just limited to people of a lower-income- poor college students, hipsters and more love second hand clothing. My mom and her friends have the means to shop pretty much anywhere they want, but they really enjoy going to TJ’s and Marshall’s to find the best deals on brand names. 

The UK and Germany both have TKMaxx (the European version of TJ’s) and lots of great second hand stores so it would seem to be something in the culture. My Spanish colleagues tell me that it’s a matter of pride. I thought back to when I was leaving Spain and offered many of the things I couldn’t bring back to the U.S. to my boyfriend at the time. His grandfather reacted by asking if I thought they couldn’t afford to buy those things for him and that he couldn’t accept. I was shocked at this reaction and hadn’t even considered this possibility. To me, it’s completely logical to give your things that are in perfectly good condition to others if you can’t use them, but even offering seemed out of the question due to a certain kind of (in my opinion, misplaced) pride. (The idea that many Spaniards seem to need to consult 7 different members of their family before making any decision is a topic for another day.)

3. Over-the-counter medication

One thing I love in Spain is that pharmacies are small businesses that are rarely branches and usually owned by families for generations. (See America? With your big conglomerate CVSs and Walgreens, who are the socialists now?) However, in Spain you have to ask for almost any medication, regardless of if it requires a prescription, from the pharmacist. This isn’t that convenient, but sometimes the famous Spanish colas (long lines) make it frustrating and it also means you can only get medicine in a pharmacy, as opposed to the U.S. where you can find them in most supermarkets. I realize that this is probably done for safety measures. But when it comes to over-the-counter, low dosage medicines, I take a more libertarian approach that people should take responsibility and read the instructions.

It also means there’s a whole separate store for every-day items such as shampoo, body wash, etc. that can be found in pharmacies in the U.S., making it easier to do one-stop shopping. Also, no big containers of pills like they have in the U.S. Granted, I understand this is probably a lot safer. But I’ve gotten pretty angry at Spanish medicines and having to pop the low-dosage capsules out of those damn child- AND adult-proof packages when I have a migraine and just want a giant jar of Tylenol.

4. Spices

I enjoy Spanish food. I love that Spaniards eat and cook Spanish food and have a rich tradition of doing so. I understand as well as anyone that sometimes it’s all about the simple stuff (hello, macaroni and cheese is not exactly complicated yet it’s ever so comforting.) However, Spanish food can be fairly bland after a while. 

As an American, I grew up eating the traditional meat and potato dinners of my Irish and German-American roots, but living in such a culturally diverse country meant exposure to lots of different types of cuisines such as Indian, Mexican, Japanese, etc. Not only did we eat these foods in restaurants, we often cooked them at home and our pallets became more accustomed to different flavors like curry or soy sauce as a result. Like any good Spaniard, I enjoy a good tortilla española pretty much any time, but it means that most Spaniards are totally averse to anything with spice. When I go to an ethnic restaurant in Spain I usually have to send the food back to get it spicier, even though I always specify that I want it spicy. The chefs have just become so accustomed to catering to Spanish taste that they fear making something too spicy. Their version of “spicy” is what a Mexican restaurant in the States would call “mild.”

And I don’t just mean spicy spices. What about thyme? Oregano? Dill? The list goes on. A number of spices enrich the flavor of the already great dishes Spaniards prepare, though my suggestion to do so could be blasphemy. At the very least, adding something other than salt to dishes would help to accustom people to other flavors, making it easier to be a more adventurous eater and traveler.

5. Job opportunities before the age of 25

I love that waiters and shopkeepers and the like in Spain are paid a livable wage and don’t have to grovel for tips from (generally unworthy) customers. I also think it’s great that tertiary education is available to all regardless of finances and that students aren’t under pressure to have to work while they are studying.

However, I think the U.S. has it right in its encouragement of people from all walks of life in getting some sort of gainful employment from an early age. Not only does it encourage hard work, it means that teenagers aren’t sitting around outside of the mall doing things they probably shouldn’t (like starting to smoke at 14.)

When people get used to working to some extent from an earlier age, they develop an understanding of the value of a dollar (or a euro, as the case may be) earlier and are more prepared to live an adult life. Spain has a big problem with first-year employee training. A lot of time and resources are spent training new employees, not just in their jobs but in the general ways of the working world, which they are getting at 25, 26, 27, etc. years old though they could be getting it earlier in life, even if just from working a few hours a week over the summer or while studying. The way the society is set up now and how the culture encourages things means that even Spaniards who want to get a small job do not have the opportunity.

Runner-ups included: More films and TV shows in original version, obligatory evaluations for teachers, being PC, and Thanksgiving (Ok, I know Spain didn’t have Pilgrims landing on their shores who befriended the natives long enough to break bread before giving them diseases, but turkey and pumpkin pie is freaking delicious.)

Bonus: All things peanut butter. Because let’s be honest – sometimes Nutella just doesn’t cut it.

 

I can think of no better way to celebrate one of cinema’s greatest directors, Luis Buñuel, than to toast his life and art with an icy glass of his favorite martini, made (of course) according to his very own special recipe.

Buñuel was the director of such masterpieces as Un Chien Andalou, The Exterminating Angel, Belle de Jour, The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie and That Obscure Object of Desire. He was a master of cinema, who created a body of work that has rarely been equalled.

But I digress, for it’s not his films I want to tell you about. No. Rather I want to share with you Buñuel’s personal recipe for the perfect martini, which he described in his autobiography, My Last Breath.

Here is what the dear man wrote:

‘To provoke, or sustain, a reverie in a bar, you have to drink English gin, especially in the form of the dry martini. To be frank, given the primordial role in my life played by the dry martini, I think I really ought to give it at least a page. Like all cocktails, the martini, composed essentially of gin and a few drops of Noilly Prat, seems to have been an American invention. Connoisseurs who like their martinis very dry suggest simply allowing a ray of sunlight to shine through a bottle of Noilly Prat before it hits the bottle of gin. At a certain period in America it was said that the making of a dry martini should resemble the Immaculate Conception, for, as Saint Thomas Aquinas once noted, the generative power of the Holy Ghost pierced the Virgin’s hymen “like a ray of sunlight through a window-leaving it unbroken.”

‘Another crucial recommendation is that the ice be so cold and hard that it won’t melt, since nothing’s worse than a watery martini. For those who are still with me, let me give you my personal recipe, the fruit of long experimentation and guaranteed to produce perfect results. The day before your guests arrive, put all the ingredients-glasses, gin, and shaker-in the refrigerator. Use a thermometer to make sure the ice is about twenty degrees below zero (centigrade). Don’t take anything out until your friends arrive; then pour a few drops of Noilly Prat and half a demitasse spoon of Angostura bitters over the ice. Stir it, then pour it out, keeping only the ice, which retains a faint taste of both. Then pour straight gin over the ice, stir it again, and serve.

‘(During the 1940s, the director of the Museum of Modern Art in New York taught me a curious variation. Instead of Angostura, he used a dash of Pernod. Frankly, it seemed heretical to me, but apparently it was only a fad.)’

Buñuel’s love of martinis was no affectation, as he had to have his favorite cocktail every day, and famously remarked:

“If you were to ask me if I’d ever had the bad luck to miss my daily cocktail, I’d have to say that I doubt it; where certain things are concerned, I plan ahead.”

And yes, Buñuel was a proselytizer for martinis, even including a scene in his Oscar-winning film The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie in which the main characters spend time discussing and preparing this thirst-quenching cocktail.

But we can do better than that, for here is Buñuel himself, showing us exactly how to make the perfect martini.

¡Salud!

Lalo Trevino y Sus Vampiros
Se Caso Dracula
Cara - 126
Just in time for Halloween, the Jukeboxmafia Blog is back from the dead! Bringing you some spooky Tex-Mex insanity. This is what Halloween sounds like in my neighborhood!
MP3 File

La entrada GifXXX #008 aparece primero en POR NO BUSCAR PORNO |XXX|.

Dice el director de este videoclip, Skylar V Smith, que se trata de la tercera parte de una serie titulada The White Wall destinada a fabricar erotismo fresco y de calidad realizado con modelos amateur y fusionarlo con música de distintos artistas californianos. A nosotros la que más nos ha gustado es esta tercera entrega, al son de un tal FayRoy, por aquello de que con la multiplicidad de imagen y las tetas gordas nos hemos quedado hipnotizados, pero más abajo os dejo las otras dos con algo más de carne.

Veña, vai unha serie de pequenos posts desenfadados sobre cociña Mexicana. Non van ser cousas moi raras, porque moitos de estes platos podedelos probar nos restaurantes mexicanos que hai en Galicia. Outros non.

Caldo Tlalpeño

Caldo de Mole de Olla con Verduras

Consomé Azteca

Coma podedes ver, coma en case todos os restaurante mexicanos as sopas non veñen co picante, pero sempre hai unha salsa picante para aderezar a gusto do comensal.
Neste último caso tamen había uns chiles jalapeños en escabeche (podense comprar en España tamén).

E finalmente e moi importante: en Mexico a sopa tómase con zume de lima (limón) recén exprimido. En principio parece unha cousa rara, pero a combinación de picante, tomate e limón, non está mal de todo. (Bueno en realidad case todo se toma con zume de lima recén exprimido, vale para calqueira plato segundo eles)

En Agosto de 1978 se ponia a la venta el primer Lp de Devo pocos meses despues se editaba en España y coincidiendo con su salida al mercado la revista Vibraciones dedicaba no menos que 5 paginas su portada e incluso un poster a la banda de Akron. El Articulo viene firmado por Juan carlos Kreimer e intercala la biografia de la banda, notas propias y la entrevista que les hizo en el festival Knebworth en Julio de 78.
Sin duda un muy interesante articulo acompañado de buenas fotos.

Para definir o movemento involuntario e compulsivo do diafragma, que interrompe a respiración e produce un ruído, o castelán emprega hipo, voz que practicamente reproduce o ruído que facemos cando padecemos este molesto trastorno.

En galego debemos utilizar algunha das varias formas propias para referirnos a este problema. A máis recomendable, na miña opinión, é impo. Por que? Primeiro porque á hora de introducir un novo termo sempre resulta máis doado recordar formas semellantes ás que queremos substituír. E segundo porque as demais opcións están connotadas a outros significados.

É o caso de salouco e os seus sinónimos saluco e sotelo. Aínda que os dicionarios constatan que o seu significado principal responde a ese movemento do diafragma, na lingua común son palabras máis relacionadas co seu segundo significado: choro entrecortado, constantemente interrompido por ruídos da gorxa ou do nariz. “Souben que a vella Mariña morrera cando oín os saloucos da súa filla asolagaren o patio de luces”.

Aínda así, saluco e sotelo son palabras minoritarias que ben poderían xeneralizarse por esta vía. “Para que che pase o sotelo, coloca unha man plana sobre a cabeza e aguanta a respiración dez ou 15 segundos”.

Sotelo é unha palabra moi presente na nosa onomástica como apelido e –xa menos– na toponimia. Non ten nada a ver con estoutro sotelo. É unha deturpación do galego soutelo, bosque pequeno en orixe. Hoxe hai 34 núcleos de poboación co nome de Soutelo.

Soutelo, na lingua común, define hoxe un bosque de castiñeiros de pequeno tamaño. Andar ao soutelo é o costume de andar ao rebusco de castañas, logo da colleita. Era habitual entre a xente pobre peneirar os soutos procurando os froitos esquecidos nos ourizos.

Francisco Reyes dice que la Xunta «maltrata» a Santiago y que el PP «o xustifica» en vez de defender a la capital

LA HORA LOCA 16- ¡Los guettos culturales son fenomenales! (acabo de mirarlo y guetto no se escribe así)

Which (US) state matches your personality? A fun little quiz based on an exhaustive psychological study of American attitudes.

What’s in name? So here is an animated GIF map of girls’ baby name in American history, from 1960 to the present day, via info provided by the Social Security Administration. Sadly, the girl’s name that I would ever pick if I had a baby — “Illyana” — did not make the cut.

The gif was made for Jezebel by Deadspin editor Reuben Fischer-Baum; it shows the most popular name for each year, as well as the most popular name for every state, rendered in lovely pastel-ish shades that would be appropriate for decorating your spare nursery room, should you ever be inclined to stop being a millennial pointless skinny-jeans-hipster thingy, in favor of becoming a Mommy or Daddy thingy.

So only two names ever end up dominating the entire United States. Before viewing the map, can you guess what they are? Go ahead and view the map now:

 

…Yes, the proletarian “Lisa” dominated the U.S. in the Sixties, despite not being a very Sixties-ish name. And then “Jennifer” dominates the entire fucking 70s and 80s, which I can confirm is what happened, because we had about seventeen girls named Jennifer something or other in my homeroom in elementary school. We had two girls named Jennifer Brown, which meant we had to distinguish them by their middle names: “Is Jennifer Brown at home sick today?” “…Do you mean Jennifer A. Brown, or Jennifer S. Brown?” Which was annoying, to have to do that. And so, fuck you, vast, vile, bland tide of Jennifer, you sweeping red-colored tide that swept our nation for over a decade.

ANY-way. So kudos most go out to the random weird states of Idaho, New Mexico, and Wisconsin, who sometimes manage to buck national trends, and choose odd unlovely names like “Lori,” “Taylor,” “Alyssa,” and “Samantha.” Also, slightly lesser kudos go to the state of West Virginia, which keeps trying to make “Brittany” a name that is not just for white-trash motor-home bucktoothed girls anymore! But of course they fail, because, West Virginia.

By the way, if you want to be (ever-so-briefly) on the cutting edge, and pick an actual “trendy” girls’ name, The Huffington Post, as always, has some suggestions for you. The Huff Po suggests…

1. “Fierce” names — such as “Bear,” “Fox,” “Wolf,” and “Lynx.” Perfect if you want to name your kid after whatever animal is on your faux-vintage ironic T-shirt.
2. “Cowboy” names — and we quote, “Western-sounding names fit for a new generation of ‘lil cowboys: Boone and Bo, Wyatt and Wylie, Cole and Colt, Zane and Shane, and even Maverick.” …What the fuck, Huffington Post?
3. “Adjective” names — “Royal,” “Happy,” “Loving,” and “Sunny.” No goddamn comment.
4. …Also The Huffington Post keeps pushing “Arlo” as a name that is somehow okay and cool. …Nope.

In conclusion, please do not name your kids any of these fucking things. Name your kid “Mary” or something. It was acceptable in 1960, and still acceptable today. On an unrelated note, my research showed that my name, “Oliver,” will be a “trendy” boys’ name by the year 2020. And I am not looking forward to that. At all.

 

An interviewer once asked Malcolm X where he went to college. His answer was simple: “Books.” (In fact, he’d literally started with the dictionary).

Of course, this was the real alma mater of many of the most successful and important people in history. I’m not sure if its funny or sad how often their thoughts and personal paths to education differ from the conventional wisdom that is passed on to most young people.

“Get good grades.”
“Go to college.”
“Go to class.”
“Get an internship.”

I’ve been collecting thoughts on education and self-education for my commonplace book for a long time. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that you’ll never see smart people repeat those tropes. In fact, they almost always say the opposite. They don’t all explicitly tell you to drop out of traditional education but they are unanimous in their judgement: education is hard, it’s a lifelong job and the responsibility to do it rests solely on you.

Below is some of their wisdom. It’s helped me and kept me going, I hope it helps you too.

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I’m sure I’m missing a million other profound quotes but these are the ones that struck me during my education. Share yours below. I can’t wait to add them.

If you don’t collect your own — whether its in in a .txt file, notecards, a notebook, Dropbox, or whatever — I strongly urge you to start. Nothing will keep you on the path, keep you inspired and keep you thinking quite like your own commonplace book.

Remember: education is your job. No one else’s. Even if you’re in school, it’s on you to get the most of it.

So get to work.

After writing Giving My First Blowjob, I realized how often fellatio is a topic of conversation in my life (SHOCKING considering the number of times I’ve done it on camera). So I’m back to talk more about BLOWEYS! I hate to toot my own horn here, but I’ve never had a complaint and I’m confident in my D S’N skills.

Recently I found myself wondering “How do you do this wrong? How do girls/guys give BAD HEAD? What are they doing, reading too many bad tips in COSMO!?” so I decided to ask several of my male friends (straight, bi, gay, and a couple porn performers) “What are a few of your least favorite things that girls/guys do when giving you a blow job? What are some moves you love?”

My findings were interesting but not terribly shocking. I’m bearing in mind that not every girl is gonna have the same style and not every guy is gonna have the same preferences.  Nothing wrong with that, to each their own!  This list of the 10 worst things you can do during a blow job is based off of the most common responses from men, followed with my opinions, personal experience, and general advice on the subject. I also ran this by my friend Lexi Belle, winner of Best Oral Sex Scene at the 2013 AVN Awards for her scene in Massive Facials 4 (Elegant Angel Productions). This list has the stamp of approval from an award winning fellatio artist, so there’s that.

Oh, and yes, I used caps lock as often as I felt like in this one, too.

1. NOT ENOUGH SPIT

Hey, ladies? You know how friction can be uncomfortable when you’re not wet enough? Yeah, well same goes for a penis. Not every guy likes a super sloppy blow job, but TOO DRY = NO GOOD. I’m huge into spit fetish, so spit strings, repetitive spitting, and drool basically dripping down from my mouth down my tits to my pussy are some things I’m into, but some people think that’s excessive and gross, but oh well, it’s what I like.

Do what you like, just make sure there’s some oral lubrication going on. If you can deep throat, try inhaling through your nose and swallowing repetitively (like drinking a thick milkshake or whatever reminds you to swallow and open your throat – you’re going for that GUH GUH GUH sound) and if you choke or gag on it a bit, you should be able to get a LOT of spit going. Obviously, keeping hydrated and having water at the bedside is also key, but that should go without saying.

Side note: If you know you can’t deep throat without gagging uncontrollably and you’ve recently eaten or consumed alcohol or an energy drink, I would not advise trying to choke on that penis unless you both have a vomit fetish. I thought about making “DON’T VOMIT” it’s own point, but I think that’s sort of a given. If it does happen, not the end of the world, though probably a bit embarrassing. Any guy should be flattered you vomited from trying to get as much in as possible, though. That’s some dedication. And yes, I have. Twice. It’s not the coolest but you can totally recover from it.

Side note #2: Don’t worry about the weird noises kissing, gagging, and sucking make. Those sounds just add stimulation to the male’s mental state and boner. Slurp away.

2. NO EYE CONTACT

Eyes are so, so, important during oral. Smile with them confidently. I’m not saying you have to stare deep into his soul the entire time, but if you don’t look up at him once, he might think you’re ashamed or not having a good time. Let the excitement of servicing his glorious tool show in your eyes! This segues into my next point…

3. NO SENSE OF ENJOYMENT OR PRIDE

Come on, now. I know some of you aren’t huge fans of giving head (I can’t understand your perspective but I guess I can respect that everyone has different preferences) but at least try to look like you’re having a good time and not doing it out of obligation. I hope you ARE enjoying it, because I’d hate to hear anyone doing something they didn’t want to do just to impress a guy. In fact, never feel pressured to give a blow job, if you don’t want to and the guy whines about it, maybe you shouldn’t be blowing that whiney child in the first place.

It’s not exactly a huge turn on to suck a dick like it is the last thing you’d like to be doing at that moment. I’m heavily turned on by pleasing my partner, so GIVING is almost if not just as fun for me as receiving!  I receive pleasure from doing everything in my power to see that he is having a great time while I’m on my knees. I think of it like I’m telling that penis a really fucking awesome secret. Try to only think about the cock in your mouth and how it makes you and your partner feel, what turns you on and enjoy being perverts together in that moment. Don’t be afraid to express your enjoyment verbally, but your mouth should be busier sucking than speaking!

4. TOO MUCH TEETH

I’ve met guys who didn’t mind and are actually into a little bit of LIGHT teeth grazing on the shaft or even light nibbles on the balls… but again, NOT FOR EVERYONE. Most guys I’ve talked to about this subject have expressed a general fear and distaste for tooth to dick contact. Be careful, open up that jaw!  I think this problem happens most often if the giver is in a rush or can’t find a good rhythm.  Take a short break, breather, or sip of water if you really have to, but try not to treat the dick like a toothbrush.  You can and should treat it like lipstick though, sometimes it’s fun to just smother it all over the outside of your mouth before you swallow it like a creamsicle.  I like to push it into the inside of my cheek (like you’re putting your finger in your mouth sideways… not rocket science) and pushing it against the cheek wall (NOT BACK TEETH) and popping it out of my mouth before adding more spit, giving just enough time with my mouth off of the cock to add to the anticipation of it’s return.

5. NOT ENOUGH HANDS/IMPROPER HAND USAGE

Very rarely do I give a handy that doesn’t turn into a blowie. I usually incorporate hand job moves and mouth moves together, using the hands as an extension to the mouth. Don’t be afraid to grab firmly at the base and use some pressure. Don’t forget the SPIT factor. Rotating the hand and changing pressure, speed, and length of stroke is always good too. Mix it up, and read the responses! If you can wrap two hands around the penis, stacked, and still get your mouth on the head — move up and down rhythmically while twisting the hands in opposite directions, clockwise and counter-clockwise. Don’t hold it like you’re afraid of touching it and don’t suck it like your mouth is trying to run away. Make sure the grip is firm but don’t rip it off, and keep the spit going whether or not your mouth is on the head! For a good pornoxample of hand usage and pretty much every point covered here, check out Bonnie Rotten’s good ideas during her POV blow job in Facial Overload #3 (Evil Angel Productions). She nails the eye contact as well, for certain.

The hands rule doesn’t just apply to the genital area, while licking the shaft or jerking the cock with one hand, you could be caressing their stomach, chest, hip area, and inner thighs as well, increasing the overall area of sensation. If the guy is standing while I’m kneeling, I like to grab their legs for a some face-fucking then gasp for air, slow it back down for a bit, bringing my hands back up to the base and stroking again. There’s nothing wrong with touching yourself simeltaneously too, if you just cannot contain the enjoyment you’re receiving from giving pleasure!

6. DON’T FORGET THE BALLS

Again, all back to personal preference, and in some cases, pubic hair shaving preferences.  If there’s a forest down there, I don’t blame you if you’re not in a rush to shove the sack in your mouth… a little bit of ball hair won’t kill ya, though. If they’re clean and the dude LIKES ball play and you don’t mind going squirrel status on those nuts, you’re both in for a good time. Maybe you’ll even progress to the taint or anus with your tongue if that’s something you’re both comfortable with.  At the very least, touch the balls with your hands! I just covered it but for emphasis INCORPORATE YOUR HANDS, whether it’s a light tease or a firm grasp or tug, give them some attention! There are men who are very sensitive when it comes to their jizz holding manlyhood, so definitely communicate or pay attention to how they react. Proceed with caution. Don’t hurt their balls… unless they ask you to. Those guys exist, too.

7. NO INITIATING

Do you make the move on your own? Did you tell him you want to blow him? Did you unbutton his pants and rub it outside the underwear in anticipation? Does every blow job you give begin with a request for one? If you’re making out for like 45 minutes and he finally starts pushing your head down towards his crotch, you can probably reason he is passively asking for some licky-dicky. Don’t be scared to initiate! I don’t believe you should always have to, and I’m very appreciative of men who go down on me first, but it doesn’t have to go the same way every time! Sometimes you’re in the passenger seat on the way home from Vegas and you know you can help keep the driver alert and awake by offering a little lip service. Chances are, your good deeds will be rewarded. Initiating also shows confidence and lets the man know that you’re willing and comfortable with him.

8. DON’T RUSH IT

Don’t rush like you can’t wait for that to be “enough” for him. Don’t look over at the clock. Don’t think about the errands you have to run. Don’t ask him “Is that enough?” or “Is this good?” Be cognizant and move forward accordingly. Go with that blow flow and be present. Remember, foreplay is important! It’s like pre-heating an oven for a pizza. Everyone involved needs to get warmed up and the tease is hot! Unless it is a morning quickie beej before work, take your time and have fun with it before rushing into sex. Avoid deliberately sighing because you’re just over it and want him to hurry up and cum. He’ll sense your attitude and it definitely won’t help him get off any faster. Short breaks are even cool for people into kinky play – take it out and slap it on your tongue, touch elsewhere, work the balls (back to 5&6), a little tease & denial or hair pulling… whatever floats your boats and keeps the penis erect.

9. TOO REPETITIVE

If I come across a porn scene in which I see the girl bobbing up and down with a sad turtle mouth and no variation, I’m like, “NEXT!” Don’t be fucking BORING, for crying out loud. Like I said in #5, change up the hand use, or even put them behind your back for a minute and pretend you’re aggressively bobbing for apples. I like to challenge myself. How low can I get down on this thing? I don’t mind gagging or running short of oxygen at points, it just makes me wanna go harder. Move your lips. Makeout with it. Circle your tongue around the head. Lick from the base to the tip. Spit on it and grab it firmly and look him in the eye with dat hunger. Variation is good, but don’t jump and skip around too quickly – use moderation. For emphasis, PAY ATTENTION TO REACTIONS AND/OR COMMUNICATE. I know I’m listing all these pointers, but the biggest pointer is to NOT THINK ABOUT IT LIKE A TECHNICAL/MECHANICAL PROCESS, but rather a sensual experience. Don’t check off things in your head as you go, but if you know he has a favorite move, like the two hands or ball-sucking & licking, mix it in, go back to some strong sucking for a while, alternate again, move on. If you get bored in one position, change it. Ass up and on your knees if he’s laying down, kneeling if he’s standing, 69ing, laying down face-up when he’s standing if you can take a lot in your throat… there are so many options!

10. DON’T RUN AWAY WHEN HE’S GONNA BURST

This is a tricky one. If your partner/boyfriend/fuck buddy whatever is tested, and you want to swallow his juice, open that mouth up wide and look at him while he empties life source down your gullet. I KNOW NOT EVERYONE LIKES TO SWALLOW OR BE CAME ON. Cumed on. JIZZED UPON. Whatever. Not every guy can expect every girl to be down with that, either. Oh, and guys – informing us is nice. I like hearing when a guy is ready to cum, but sometimes I ask for it because I can tell he’s getting close because I know that facial expression all too well. Not everyone turns into a perky baby bird when that time *cums*… too much? Okay. Maybe you’re down for it to be on your face or tits but not in your mouth or not swallowed. That’s all fine and good! If you are strongly opposed to something, communication in advance isn’t the worst idea, yo. If a dude is about to blast on your face and you suddenly do a tuck and roll, you’re gonna fall off the bed, he’s gonna cum all over your pillow… you’re better off just taking it and asking for a clean towel or some baby wipes. Obviously I keep some sort of wiping material on the nightstand next to my hydration station.

BONUS: NOT GIVING HEAD AT ALL

Well, this seems like an obvious “Don’t” unless the guy simply does not deserve the pleasure at all. The other exception would be if you actually have TMJ. In that case, maybe just keep the penis away from your mouth and jerk him off with two hands and some coconut oil (the best lube in the whole world) or something.

Suck it up. SUCK IT. C’mon, just try it. You might be surprised. I’m about half-kidding with that peer pressure.

HAPPY SUCKING! 

Como moitas das palabras que empregamos, engadar ten un significado literal e outro figurado.

O primeiro remite á acción de poñerlle a comida ós peixes para que piquen no anzol durante a pesca.

Ex: Engada as bogas con crías de mexillón, xa verás como pican.

E o segundo refírese ó feito de seducir ou atraer a alguén con encantos ou feitizos.

Ex: A moza engadou o seu pretendente con fermosas palabras.

“E agora todos temos que quedar en silencio”.

O silencio era importante onte, nunha das salas do Museo Eugenio Granell de Compostela, porque o que se intentaba facer era, paradoxalmente, capturar son. Como se estivésemos xogando cunha gravadora (quen o non fixo a primeira vez que lle deixaron un aparato para gravar voz?) pero a unha escala moito maior que as dos xogos de infancia: o recipiente que ía capturar esa voz era un magnetófono inventado en 1939 en Galicia polos irmáns Portela Seijo. Un aparato ao que unha vez pretendeu a daquela xigante Philips e que permaneceu medio agochado na historia da innovación galega. Ata agora. O magnetófono dos irmáns Portela Seijo, Juan e José, acaba de ‘resaír’ á luz e permite recuperar a historia dos seus inventores.

Os irmáns naceran pola década dos Dez do século XX en Arzúa, aínda que acabaron en Santiago de Compostela cando morreu o seu pai e é aí onde acabarán establecendo o seu traballo innovador. “O magnetófono foi unha revolución no seu día, xa que non existía un xeito de reproducir sons con esta fiabilidade”, explicaba Xes Chapela, un dos responsables de Exploradores, un proxecto multidisciplinar, que combina arte sonora, divulgación e historia e que é o que está detrás da recuperación do magnetófono dos Portela Seijo. Os primeiros magnetófonos populares apareceron na década dos 30. O dos Portela Seijo diferenciábase en que empregaba fíos de aceiro de 0,1 milímetros como soporte para as gravacións de voz e (a perspectiva que da o paso do tempo permite afirmalo) que estaba moi adiantado nalgunhas funcionalidades á súa época. Como explicaba Toño Cabanelas, o outro responsable de Experiencias, era “ultramoderno” xa que permitía borrar e regravar sobre os fíos de aceiro xa empregados.

Por suposto, un dispositivo con esas características nos anos 40 era unha auténtica xoia. Podemos ler nun xornal da época (de onde sae a foto de José Portela Seijo que ilustra este artigo) que era un “invento de gran utilidade” e que agardaban unha “gran produción nunha industria que quizais teña a ubicación en Compostela”.

Semellante invento chamou a atención como diciamos de Philips, pero a patente non foi vendida. “Non quixeron vender a Philips porque querían fabricalo aquí”, contábanos Toño Cabanelas xusto despois da charla, “pero a cousa foi menos produtiva do esperado”. A pesar de que a idea era que o dispositivo fose barato, xa que José Portela Seijo “quería facer un produto para todo o mundo”, algo así non estaba ao alcance de todo o mundo (e máis se pensamos na Galicia da posguerra). “Chegaron a facer 20″, dinos Cabanelas. “Vendéronse, pero non sabemos se queda algún máis que este”.

O supervivente chegou ao presente grazas a Yago Portela, o fillo de Juan, quen o mantivo en perfectas condicións e que axudou a que todos coñecésemos un pouco máis a José Portela durante o evento. “O meu tío Pepe era un xenio”, dixo, “un sabio nas nubes, un profesor chiflado”, e lembrou como os seus alumnos fumaban os seus cigarros durante a clase xa que el os prendía e logo esquecía onde os deixara. “O seu problema eran os accidentes e a velocidade”, confesounos, apuntando que durante anos traballou para encontrar solucións aos accidentes (sobre todo despois de que un accidente de tren na Escravitude o deixara fortemente impresionado) de tren e de automóbil. “A súa obsesión era sempre inventar”, dixo Yago Portela, tanto é así que cando el era un neno o seu tío construíu unha televisión dende cero, incluso antes de que Televisión Española tivese sinal. Por cousa dos milagres das ondas, durante dez segundos o televisor de José Portela conseguiu captar unha retransmisión italiana do Giro.

Exploradores

A visita ao pasado non estaría completa se non se incorporasen os sons de 1940. Por unha marabillosa casualidade, a conservación do magnetófono estivo acompañada polos fíos de aceiro que lle servían de ‘memoria’. Os responsables de Experiencias empezaron xa a escoitalas, aínda que non puideron facelo aínda con todas. Chegar a poñer en marcha o aparello levou o seu tempo. “Nin sequera Yago sabía como funcionaba”, apunta Xes Chapela. “Non había instrucións de uso”. Por facer, cóntanos Toño Cabanelas, tiveron que atopar como volver a enchufar á corrente eléctrica o dispositivo (por suposto, os enchufes de 1940 non eran como os de 2013). Puideron comezar a escoitar, por tanto, os contidos recuperados hai dous días. Polo momento atoparon discursos e unhas badaladas (que todos os presentes onte puidemos tamén escoitar) que todo apunta son as da catedral de Compostela.

Exploradores, a acción artística na que se recuperou o aparato, non é só esta charla na Fundación Granell. Cabanelas e Chapela queren dixitalizar os contidos recuperados e subilos a internet. Pero non quedarán como elementos nun museo. Eles farán interpretacións sobre eses sons (vimos a primeira onte pola tarde) e invitarán a que calquera poda facer outro tanto. Os sons que os Portela Seijo captaron hai sete décadas viaxarán, do xeito máis literal, ata o futuro.