Snob

Del mosh pit, el pogo y todas las variantes parecidas ya hemos hablado en diversas ocasiones, pero nunca ha dejado de fascinarnos como danza caótica y violenta. Hay versiones en las que el objetivo es hacer daño, y otras en las que uno debe levantar al que se cae, pero la mayoría de veces es un movimiento orgánico y descontrolado sin estructuras ni normas donde uno entra con su lado más salvaje. Dan Witz ha pintado fantásticos cuadros que retratan ese fenómeno en conciertos de bandas como Agnostic Front o Byronesque.

Jezebel published a piece with the title “Nearly 1% Of Women Claim They Were Virgins When They Gave Birth,” and, because this is Jezebel we’re talking about here, they used this as an opportunity to shame and belittle the women who say that they became pregnant while still virgins. And just so we all understand what author Erin Gloria Ryan means by virgins, she writes that they are women who,

“… were unpenetrated by the peen of a man when they became pregnant.”

She further explains,

“This doesn’t include women who became pregnant via in vitro fertilization or artificial insemination; these are women who gave birth the old fashioned way and were like *shrug! SERIOUSLY GUYS I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED!”

Then (incorrectly) asserts,

“Getting pregnant without sex is virtually scientifically impossible, yet dozens of women in the study (who were teens when the research began) swear up and down that their babies happened sans man. This is the biological equivalent of claiming that your glass of drinking water spontaneously began boiling itself without the presence of heat. I mean, maybe it’s Unsolved Mysteries-possible, but it’s highly doubtful that 0.8% of all glasses of water boil themselves. Come on.”

Also, just so that we’re really super clear on how Jezebel views these women, the article was posted to their Facebook page with the following header:

Nearly 1% of women insist they were virgins when they gave birth, which means that nearly 1% of women are delusional.

Oh, Jezebel. Jezebel. I know all the cool kids have already said it, but damn. You sure do suck at feminism.

First of all, it is definitely scientifically possible to become pregnant without having penetrative vaginal sex. It’s unlikely to happen, but it’s possible – all you need is for a someone to ejaculate on or in close proximity to the vagina, or else have some other thing with sperm on it – a finger, say, or a sex toy – penetrate the vagina. Yes, these are unlikely ways in which to become pregnant, but they’re not within the same realm as water spontaneously boiling.

Second of all, can we not have this discussion without calling women stupid or crazy or just flat out accuse them of lying?

Third of all, can we please stop talking about virginity as if it is a real, measurablething?

Virginity is not a thing. Not really. It is a social construct meant to make people, especially women, feel badly about their sexuality and sexual experience. It is a way of policing other people’s bodies and passing judgment on how they use them. It is, at its very core, a way of controlling and subjugating women.

One problem with the idea of virginity is that there’s no hard and fast way of deciding who’s a virgin and who isn’t. Many people would define loss of virginity in a very heteronormative sense – a sexual act where the penis penetrates the vagina. But does that mean, then, that a queer woman who has only ever been with other women is a virgin? Is a gay man, who has only ever had anal sex, a virgin? Most people, when pressed, would agree that no, those folks aren’t really virgins, even if they’ve never had penis-in-vagina-style intercourse. The flip side of this is that many rape victims don’t feel as if they have lost their virginity even if they’ve had penetrative intercourse forced on them. They consider themselves to be virgins because they don’t consider what happened to them to be sex. So taking all of that into consideration, how do we then define virginity?

Some people have said that performing any sexual act constitutes losing one’s virginity, but that seems like much too broad of a definition. Kids start experimenting with sexual play and experimentation at a fairly young age, so does it then follow that anyone who’s kissed someone of the opposite sex or shown them their genitals has de facto lost their virginity? I’m not sure that this idea makes any more sense than saying that virginity can only be lost through one very specific sexual act.

Another problem is that there is literally no way of knowing if someone is a virgin or not. Oh, people will tell you that you can check if a woman’s hymen is broken, but that’s not a reliable indicator at all. A hymen can be broken without any kind of sexual intercourse, through sports or through some kind of injury. Not all women are born with hymens. Not all hymens tear during penetrative sex. And yet we’ve all been sold this idea of torn flesh and blood on sheets as some kind of definite rite of passage for women. This idea – that you can somehow tell if a woman has been sexually active – has contributed to the oppression and subjugation of women for pretty much all of recorded history. It’s given men a way to control women, to make them ashamed of their bodies their sexuality. It’s led to a double standard where it’s fine – even encouraged – for boys to gain sexual experience, but women who are sexually active before marriage or have sex with too many people are considered to be slutty or damaged goods.

Finally, why is virginity so damn important to us? We don’t have nouns for who or what we were before we hit any other life milestones – there’s no term to refer to a person before they can walk or talk or read and write – all of which I would argue are more important achievements than getting laid – and yet it’s the sex that we focus on. Why do we put so much more weight on this one small facet of human life than we do on any of the others? Why are we still making a big deal out of who is a virgin and who isn’t?

This is the discussion that we should be having – not about whether women are lying or delusional about their virginity, but about why we still use this damaging term. We need to talk about why the idea of virginity continues to hold such sway over our cultural consciousness, and why so-called feminist websites a perpetuating the thought that virginity is a tangible, definable thing. Most of all, we need to figure out a better way to talk to kids about their bodies and their sexuality, because the way that we’re doing it now clearly isn’t working.

Like this post? Check out Anne’s book here.

Jim Jarmusch. All photos courtesy of Sony Pictures

What kind of person offers fucking Jim Jarmusch a drag of her e-cigarette within five minutes of meeting him? Embarrassingly enough, me. Blame it on my fragile nerves. Jim is one of the most doggedly independent filmmakers in history. Through some alchemy of virtuoso talent, stubbornness, and total indifference toward commercial appeal, he’s managed to resist the overtures of big studios. Incredibly enough, all of his films have been produced by his own company—a move that has afforded him the gift/curse of total creative control. When asked to share his rules for filmmaking, he had this to say about people who finance and distribute films: “Don’t let the fuckers get ya.”

There’s also the fact that Jim is a rock-and-roll hepcat. Few else have ever had a more impressive cadre of friends and collaborators. Bill Murray, Tom Waits, Joe Strummer, Cate Blanchett, RZA, Iggy Pop, Steve Buscemi, and John Lurie (just to name but a few) have all slunk through his films during his three-decade career. So my knees trembled at the mere sight of his famous shock of white hair when he walked through the door of the B-Bar & Grill in Manhattan's East Village. And I proffered, as some kind of imbecilic offering, my cheap plastic pipe.

“Oh, no. I don’t dare. I quit smoking. If I took a few puffs I’d smoke a pack tomorrow. I’m bad,” he said, adding, “I’ve smoked so many cigarettes… I am a cigarette. You know? I quit, and now I’m done. But I love that e-cigarettes are vaporizers. I’ve got a vaporizer—a pipe.”

The mythical possibility of getting baked with Jim Jarmusch beckoned like a siren song. Thankfully, I resisted.

VICE: You just made Only Lovers Left Alive, a vampire movie that you’ve said is actually a “love story with vampires.” But still, why vampires? Surely you knew how loaded this genre is before jumping in.
Jim Jarmusch: I guess I keep my brain away from worrying about that kind of shit. I’m not ignorant of the glut of vampire stuff over the last years, but I don’t really care. This genre is classic for the history of cinema. And, you know, when I approach genres I really walk alongside them. I don’t engage in expectations. I’ve been trying to make Only Lovers for eight fucking years. So I’m just not concerned, I guess.

What took so long for the film to get made?
Financing was really rough. And the script was a bit more traditional at first. There was a lot more action. [Tom Hiddleston’s character, Adam] wasn’t a musician. There was a war with these corporate vampires. They fought with crossbows and dissolved into dust. The investors would say, “OK, put more of that stuff in.” And the more they would tell me that, the more I would take out. Just to be contrary.

Isn’t that exactly what happened when you showed your very first manuscript to Nicholas Ray? He told you there wasn’t enough action, but you decided to take even more out.
Yes, exactly. You know that story? That was the lesson he taught me. So I took more and more action out, which made them pull their money further away from me. But it led me to strip all of that away, so that it wasn’t a vampire movie, but a love story with vampires.  Luckily, we got to make it.

That is amazing. Going back to Only Lovers—it has a lot of music from your band Sqürl. How does your musical process compare with, like, when John Lurie composed the soundtrack for Permanent Vacation, or Neil Young for Dead Man?
It’s very intuitive and reactive. Jozsef van Wissem recorded all these little loop pieces, which was a good start because we would just add to that. Sometimes we’ll start with a certain element, then remove that element. So it’s like it found its own way.

Sqürl is such a funny name for a noise-rock band. Where did it come from?
It came from something I wrote for Cate Blanchett in Coffee and Cigarettes. Her cousin has a boyfriend in a noise band called Sqürl. Later, we just decided we would use that. I liked the umlaut as a reference to heavy metal. Band names are hard though. It seems like all the good ones are taken.

Well, now there are bands that have names you can’t even Google. They manipulate SEO mechanisms to stay hidden.
Well, witch house bands write their names in symbols! I kind of love that. That witch house shit, you can’t even pronounce it, so how do you find it? I love that they don’t care.

Exactly. You’ve cycled through quite a few different bands.
Yes, and I’ve had some references to bands in my films. In Night on Earth there’s a metal band referred to as Utensil, which I thought was good. [puts on stoner voice] “What’s your band’s name called?” “Uhhh, we’re called Utensil.”

You once said that you thought that the idea of music videos is fucked up. Do you still feel that way?
Music videos are kind of fucked up as an idea, but having lived with them for so long, I do appreciate them as a form. I love watching YouTube on my plasma TV. Even if it’s bad quality, I love it so much.

That’s such a weird image to me. You going on a YouTube binge.
But I do. I’m obsessed. It leads me to so many little threads. What I used to love about the radio is you don’t know what they’re going to play, so you can learn something new and unexpected. YouTube does the same thing. So I have to say, I’m a kind of a YouTube junkie.

What other modes of discovery do you have? Especially for non-Western music like Indonesian gamelan, which I know you used in Permanent Vacation.
I found out about Javanese music through Balinese music. I love them both. I guess I’ve had a lot of amazing friends who are into a lot of shit. My friend Joe Strummer would always say, [in a Cockney accent] "No input, no output, maaaan. We’ve got to go see this band. Because if we don’t, we’re not going to make anything ourselves." We would call it Strummer’s Law. Turning each other on to stuff has always been important to me. I know a little about a lot of things, and I don’t take that to be a negative. Life isn’t that long, and I don’t want to want to spend it learning about one thing. I’m a whore. No input, no output… baby.

And I’m sure you get a lot of “input” from all of the countries you’ve set your films in. Only Lovers was partly set in Tangier.
I love to travel. I love to get lost in a city and try to find my way back. I’ve seen so many amazing things just doing that. Just little details of life. Have you ever been to Morocco?

Nope.
Tangier’s a place where, unlike Marrakech, the old world and new world are not separated by a gulf as though looking at each other. It’s all mixed. Once I saw two girls standing by a cell-phone shop. They were attractive 20-something Moroccans with miniskirts and boots and whatever. And just beside them, at the end of the alley, I saw two men dressed in hooded, Medieval-looking things, slaughtering a goat with wooden mallets. Both these things were in the same tableau. Going simultaneously and not separated. So cool.

You couldn’t have set up the shot better, even if you’d tried.
Once in New York, in the middle of the night, I looked out of my window in the Lower East Side and I saw a guy walking across Prince Street leading a llama. Just walking by with a llama. This was maybe in 1982. You see a lot of weird shit in New York.

Film still from Only Lovers Left Alive.

Speaking of weird shit, did you go to the CBGB bathroom recreation at the Met?
No, I spent enough time in the real one.

Which bathroom was the most rancid?
CBGB’s. Max's Kansas City was a little better. And the Mud Club was just people doing drugs and having sex, by then. So that was different too. Then there was like, the Anvil. I never really checked out the New York hard-core gay scene. That wasn’t really my thing—but I was glad that it was there.

Does it bother you that the New York underground scene you were involved in has been totally fetishized?
I find it disturbing. But that’s the way it always is in history. They form these little groups after the fact. There was a brief moment in the early 80s where punk rock, graffiti artists, and hip-hop converged together. I loved hanging out at this bar that was in an alley behind the American Thread Building. It was fucking great because, you know, Bambaataa would show up and Jean-Michel [Basquiat] would be there. Arto Lindsay or Mick Jones or Futura 2000—we were all there together. That was fantastic. My point is, it’s always evolving into the next thing. That’s just the way it is. But if you want to freeze it anywhere, that kind of disturbs me.

Has your relationship with New York changed since those days? I mean, there are days when I love it. And then there are times—like on the way here when I was smushed against a stranger’s armpit—when I fucking hate it here.
In my years here, I’ve seen it being sold out, sold out, sold out. To real estate, to corporate stuff. I must say that I don’t like the noise of the city anymore. And I don’t like how a lot of young people are just into money and status. Going out becomes less interesting. But New York is about change and it’s about hustle. It’s about Money-Making Manhattan. I don’t have nostalgia, like, Oh, if only New York was like 1978. But I’m kind of sick of New York.

I was watching a documentary you’re in called Blank City that’s about that scene. John Lurie said something quite striking: “Basquiat was one of the first to make it about 'If you’re not making money, you’re not cool.' And I still hate him for that to this day.” Do you feel that way about certain people you came up with?
I certainly did not feel that way about Jean. I don’t remember him giving off that kind of feeling at all. Jean-Michel was always obsessed with work and his ideas. I’d visit him and there would always be paintings on the floor, music, and books of anatomy that he was referencing. Maybe that was something between [Lurie and Basquait]. I actually didn’t see that documentary at all. I don’t like seeing things I’m in. It makes me nervous.

Well, you don’t like seeing any of your old movies either, right?
I like seeing them once, with a paying audience that doesn’t know I’m there, after I’ve done the festival and premiere thing. And then I’m done. I don’t want to see it ever again. So far, I don’t look back.

Why not?
Two reasons. One, I give some years of my life to each film, and I can’t give anymore. At a certain point, you have to just walk away. I can’t change anything, I don’t learn anything from it, and I don’t enjoy it. So why should I watch it? The second reason is because the beauty of cinema is that you’re entering a world that’s going to take you along at its rhythm. Well, I could never ever do that with my own film. So the beauty that you’re making it for, you’re robbed of.

Once you’re done making a film, do you even think about it?
Not really. I remember the life experiences—what people said, or things we did on our days off. But the film I keep out of my head. I sort of erase it.

Film still from Only Lovers Left Alive.

Speaking of the experiences behind your films, in order to get Robert Mitchum to be in Dead Man, you brought a bunch of guns to his house and tried to get him to pick one out. Do you use small tricks like that to get all these amazing people to work with you?
No, I don’t really trick them. I’m pretty straightforward about it. I say, "I think you would make this character or do this thing in the film in some amazing way." At the end of Nicholas Ray’s life, I was his assistant and he told me some stories about how he was shooting Johnny Guitar, and in order to make Joan Crawford angry, he would do nasty things to her, like throw her wardrobe in the mud and drive over it in a car. I love Nick Ray, and really, whatever you need to do to get the frame is what you need to do. But I would never do that.

Why not?
Those kinds of negative relationships just seem to make the whole thing harder. Dennis Hopper once said in an interview, "It’s fucking hard to make a film, and it’s just as hard to make a bad film as it is to make a good film." And it is. It’s stressful and exhausting, and you put everything into it. I don’t want an adversarial relationship with people.

I don’t know if it has to be adversarial. Couldn’t it just be about understanding what makes someone tick and using that knowledge strategically?
I believe that as many filmmakers as there are, there are that many ways to make a film. People ask me how I work with actors. Well, which actor? I don’t work with Johnny Depp the same way I’m going to work with Forest Whitaker. I’m not going to work with Robert Mitchum the same way I work with Roberto Benigni. Having said that, I wouldn’t criticize Nick Ray or Alfred Hitchcock for doing the psychological manipulation they feel they have to do.

How do you feel about the state of underground cinema? The last time someone asked you this, you quoted John Waters, who said, "Underground film doesn’t exist. It’s just about the modes of distribution." Do you still feel that way?
A few years ago, I would say, "You’re not going to see my films or Wong Kar-wai’s films in the theaters." Now I have to take Wong Kar-wai out of there, because the biggest film market is China, and his films are huge there. But I do think that in the future, it’s only going to be these big money-making films in the theaters. As for the future of underground film, I don’t know what will happen. I’m discouraged and excited at the same time. I don't know what’s going to happen to me. I can’t afford to keep my office now. I’m not going to make any money off this film. To the contrary. So it’s kind of a drag, you know? It’s kind of a discouraging period right now. But something new will happen.

Looking back, do you have any regrets? Maybe in being so staunchly against the support of big studios?
No, I dont. In my procedure I have no regrets. My only regret is that I’m kind of a lazy workaholic. My natural inclination is to be lazy, because that’s when ideas come. So my regret is not producing more things. In the 70s, we all did numerous things. Like John Lurie made paintings and music. The drummer in our first band was James Nares, the fucking genius painter, filmmaker, and installation artist. There was a period that I made a lot of little collages, which I really loved doing. I didn’t make music for a long time, and I could’ve kept doing that. But regrets are bad because my personal philosophy is not looking back and feeling bad. 

What are you working on now?
Well, we’re working on the film about the Stooges. Not a traditional documentary, just an essay and portrait on them. I’m working on an opera with the composer Phil Kline about Nikola Tesla. I have another film script that I don’t want to talk about yet that may be my next feature film. For me, that’s a lot of stuff. Because I used to just do one film for two years and not do anything else. So that I kind of regret, not doing more stuff, especially music. But it is what it is; at least I’m doing it now again.

Back in '81 you said that your main aspiration is to be able to pay your rent and not have to worry about money. But that was a long time ago. What’s your main aspiration now?
My ambition is to keep making things, and to do it my own way. That’s my priority, I guess. To make music and movies that I believe in and keep doing it, and not be too concerned with how many people it reaches. Keep input and output. [chuckles]

What’s been the funniest criticism you’ve ever had?
My favorite? I’ll translate it from the French. It was from a right-wing newspaper in the South of France about my movie Down by Law, which said, “Jim Jarmusch is celebrated by the French intelligentsia in a way that’s reminiscent of deaf and dumb parents applauding their retarded child. He is 33 years old. This is the age that Christ was crucified on the cross. We can only hope for the same for the future of his film career.” Woah! I used to carry that one around in my wallet.

That was a zinger!
That was a multiple zinger. That was multiple punches to my head. I read the bad reviews of my stuff, always. I dont like reading the good ones. You don’t learn anything. I like the bad ones, because they’re different and interesting to me. But sometimes it’s a bit brutal.

Follow Michelle Lhooq on Twitter and go see Only Lovers Left Alive in a theater near you.

 

A culture war is raging in America, but not the one you see being waged on Fox News and MSNBC in prime time. That neverending conflict has an unintended casualty, a victim that neither side truly wants to champion. This much-maligned minority group needs our respect and our affection. Of course, I am talking about the infamous "Basic Bitch."

The Basic Bitch is denigrated in music videos and hip-hop lyrics. She's defamed on Twitter merely for requesting a simple kindness:

"A back rub sounds amazing right now." says every basic bitch who has a twitter

— Court Wanderscheid (@Shortneyy) April 10, 2014

Urban Dictionary, the final arbiter of cultural relevancy, defines the Basic Bitch in a variety of ways. The most accurate explanation is as follows:

1. Used to describe someone devoid of defining characteristics that might make a person interesting, extraordinary, or just simply worth devoting time or attention to.
2. Lacking intelligence and unable to socialize on even an elementary level.
3. Annoyingly frustrating because of the above.

What specifically makes one Basic? Not understanding irony or sarcasm, constantly needing to be cloying and sincere, enjoying xoJane articles, reading books about feng shui, checking horoscopes, French-tip fingernails, gladiator sandals, John Mayer, Glee reruns, and Michael Buble are all pretty Basic.

Only recently has being Basic become such a social faux pas that videos have to be made to shame them out of existence. It wasn't always a crime to like fast food and How I Met Your Mother. It's become a form of gag reflex to immediately trash those brave enough to be completely and hopelessly square, but American culture is littered with Basics. Carol Brady from The Brady Bunch was a massive Basic whose sole purpose on the show was to be a fucking nag. Dinah Shore found a way to make hosting a variety show Basic. If you can believe it, there was a time when Julia Roberts was the biggest movie star in the world, and she might as well have "Basic Bitch" tattooed on her forehead (backwards, so she can read it in the mirror, of course).

There's always been an American counterculture, but historically, it's existed in seedy bars, gutters, and alleyways—hidden from the sensitive eyes of the Basic Bitch. Weird movies like Eraserhead and Pink Flamingos had to be screened in dangerous neighborhoods, far from the mainstream society they openly mocked. New York City, America's center for art and culture, was abandoned by Basics in the 1960s, and they didn't come back until Giuliani started busting heads and cracking down.

Now America is drastically different. Everyone can feel safe within their own tiny subculture. The lunatic fringe and the rabble-rousers can organize online. Wearing glasses and being into weird shit is encouraged. Basics are relegated to the margins (a.k.a. the suburbs). Where exactly did it all take a sharp left turn? The 2003 MTV Video Music Awards, and one provocative kiss by a young girl from Louisiana named Britney Spears.

Photo via Wikipedia Creative Commons

Britney Spears is the Alpha and Omega of Basic Bitches. This may strike the casual observer as counterintuitive. After all, Britney is known for her predilection for lewd public behavior and equally voracious penchant for personal instability. Having a garden-variety mental illness is not enough to disqualify one from being Basic. In fact, Britney is the great martyr for the cause of Basic-dom.

In 1999, "...Baby One More Time" catapulted young Britney to the top of the pop charts all over the world. Her fame seemed instant. The American media machine shit her out fully formed. She was wholesome, blond, buxom (but not too buxom), and from the South. Her boyfriend was equally as Basic, and they swore they were as chaste as humanly possible at all times. Her singing voice was completely generic, yet also eerily distinctive. Who else could be so bland, so beige, so lacking in anything resembling musical texture? It's Britney, bitch.

Her contemporaries all tried to steal the crown, but to no avail. Christina Aguilera had a superior voice but a foreign-sounding name. Jessica Simpson looked like a high school quarterback's fuck-bucket just like Britney, but she was too curvy and too threateningly sensual. Fellow Britney-clone Willa Ford literally sang about how much of a slut she was.

Only Britney Spears could reign supreme, because all the things that made her rivals special she lacked in spades. She was so fucking dull that we couldn't take our eyes off her. It's like seeing a really shitty painting of a lake in a truck-stop diner. Your mind starts to fixate on how anyone could make something so aggressively average without it being on purpose.

You must remember that the rise of Britney Spears directly coincides with the last gasp of generic American mass culture. The internet had yet to carve us up into easily chewable demographic morsels. This was an era when Abercrombie & Fitch—the company that still goes out of its way to exclude weirdos, fatties, uggos, minorities, and mutants—was the epitome of cool. George W. Bush told the country that it was A-OK to be really corny and willfully fratty. "The President you most want to have a beer with" could only happen in a time ruled by Basics. 

It wasn't until the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards that the carefully constructed facade known as Basic Britney began to collapse. Brit's infamous kiss with Madonna was a loud, clanging hammer blow to her image as a boring person. Never again would being truly dull be seen as a virtue. The simple act of kissing another (more famous) woman on national TV swung the proverbial door open for the likes of Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj, and all of their respective imitators. 

From that kiss there was no turning back. Britney Spears married white-trash messiah Kevin Federline, starred in a comically terrible reality show about said union, shaved her head, released a weird yet beloved album, went crazy, and checked into a mental facility. Maybe the pressure of being so fucking Basic was a bigger burden than her milquetoast shoulders could carry? Perhaps Britney was never Basic in the first place and merely hid that deep down she was 100 percent ratchet? We'll never know, but from 2003 to 2007, Basic Britney was as hard to find as Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction.

When Britney finally came out of the hospital and got her shit together in 2008, the world had changed. Her throne wasn't even available to reclaim. Abercrombie & Fitch is now the punchline to more nostalgic jokes than even George W. Bush. Pop stars routinely commit sociopathic, bizarre acts with the explicit purpose of remaining relevant in a society that demands they keep the general public from getting bored. Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram are all a constant call to be as outrageous as possible. A black dude who smokes cigarettes is President of the United States. Shit is crazy.

And yet, the only way for Britney Spears to remain sane is to be Basic again. She provided a song for the fucking Smurfs 2 soundtrack. She talks about raising her kids and not wanting to be forced into taking advantage of her sex appeal. She's doing a residency in Las Vegas, the most Basic city of them all. It's a place where you can get away with wearing khaki shorts almost year-round and everyone seems like they're pasty enough to be from Iowa. If she didn't get back in the Basic box, she might be dead right now.

The insanity arms race typified by Lindsay Lohan's moronic reality show, Miley Cyrus's rubbing her coochie on everything, and Rihanna's flirting with the notion of reuniting with her abuser is the new normal. We can't return to the time when having absolutely nothing to offer society was a virtue.

Great Basics throughout history

Contrary to the way in which the world is moving, that's not a good thing. We need Basics. They're the ones that stay grounded, who do the important work we're all too crazy to focus on. Some of the most influental women of all time were unabashedly Basic.

Also, if no one is Basic, then what the fuck is the point of being weird? Nothing is shocking if no one is mediocre. The war to be the most fucked up is a losing battle, because the number of taboos we have left is getting smaller and smaller. It was cool when Britney Spears made out with Madonna because it flew in direct opposition to what we thought we knew about Britney. Miley Cyrus had to be a shitty teen star in order to make simulated public fucking a newsworthy event. Would anyone have wanted to see Amanda Bynes's tits if she weren't on Nickelodeon first?

Goddamnit, the world would be a sadder place without Basic Bitches. Instead of taking them to task for their interest in not being interesting, perhaps we should encourage them more. I say to all Basics, please continue pouring ranch dressing on all of your meals, thinking it's OK to wear flip-flops to places other than the beach, TiVo-ing American Idol, doing Borat impressions at parties, and not having a sense of humor. The rest of the world thanks you for your service.

Follow Dave Schilling on Twitter.

PBS Digital Studios produced another blank on blank installment, an animated YouTube series that digs up resonating interview recordings between icons and journalists. This one–an interview with Johnny Cash conducted by Rock’s Backpages music critic Barney Hoskyns on October 14th, 1996–gives you some kind of sense of Cash’s mindset after beating his painkiller addiction.

It’s not a full-fledged look back at his life, obviously (the clip isn’t even six minutes long), but it makes you wish that every interview had an accompanying cartoon. (Whoever did that Rick Moranis interview for Heeb last year totally deserves the treatment.) Forget work for a few minutes and enjoy this.

h/t Devour

by Bradford Evans

CBS announced today that Stephen Colbert, longtime host of The Colbert Report, will take over for David Letterman as host of the network's 11:35pm program Late Show in 2015. Letterman announced last week that he will be retiring sometime next year though a transition date has not yet been set. Colbert will become Late Show's second host; Letterman originated the series in 1993. Colbert has signed a five-year agreement to host the show for CBS. "I'm thrilled and grateful that CBS chose me," Colbert said in a statement. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go grind a gap in my front teeth."

Stephen Colbert's contract with Comedy Central runs out at the end of this year, so The Colbert Report will conclude its nine-year run in December, leaving him wide open to take over Late Show anytime in 2015.

Colbert drop his faux-conservative pundit persona to host CBS's flagship late night show as himself. His buddy Jon Stewart gave Colbert a ringing endorsement this week, saying "He's wonderful in Colbert Report, but he's got gears he hasn’t even shown people yet. He would be remarkable."

Reports about Stephen Colbert being CBS's top choice started coming in pretty much as soon as Letterman announced his retirement, and the network had met with Colbert about hosting the show prior to Letterman making his decision. Craig Ferguson, longtime host of The Late Late Show following Letterman, had a clause in his contract guaranteeing him first right of refusal to hosting Late Show after Letterman retires but CBS execs, who are said to have never seen Ferguson as the heir to Letterman's show, paid him a bunch of money instead.

As far as the late night domino effect that will come with the 2015 Letterman/Colbert transition, Colbert's 11:30 Comedy Central slot will be vacant with no apparent heir to that throne. Chris Hardwick's @midnight has been doing great in the ratings, but sliding that show up a half-hour is tricky simply because of its title. With his contract up at the end of the year, Craig Ferguson could also end up leaving The Late Late Show in the wake of not getting to host its lead-in. CBS has been reportedly in talks with E!'s Chelsea Handler about hosting The Late Late Show, indicating that they're at least considering a new host for Ferguson's spot as well. The network also approached The Daily Show's John Oliver last year about potentially taking over The Late Late Show or another late night slot, but he opted to go to HBO instead.

Here's CBS's statement:

The CBS Television Network today announced that Stephen Colbert, the host, writer and executive producer of the Emmy and Peabody Award-winning "The Colbert Report," will succeed David Letterman as the host of THE LATE SHOW, effective when Mr. Letterman retires from the broadcast. The five-year agreement between CBS and Colbert was announced by Leslie Moonves, President and CEO, CBS Corporation, and Nina Tassler, Chairman of CBS Entertainment.

Letterman, the legendary, critically acclaimed host of the CBS late night series for 21 years, announced his retirement on his April 3 broadcast. Colbert's premiere date as host of THE LATE SHOW will be announced after Mr. Letterman determines a timetable for his final broadcasts in 2015.

Specific creative elements, as well as the producers and location for the Colbert-hosted LATE SHOW, will be determined and announced at a later date.

Here's Comedy Central's statement:

Comedy Central is proud that the incredibly talented Stephen Colbert has been part of our family for nearly two decades. We look forward to the next eight months of the groundbreaking Colbert Report and wish Stephen the very best.

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(Image credit: Lalo Alcaraz)

In 2002, cartoonist Lalo Alcaraz drew a political cartoon about sports teams and fans who use disrespectful Native American names, mascots, and imagery. Ann Boobus remembered the cartoon when she saw this picture.

(Image credit: Peter Pattakos)

The resemblance is uncanny and uncomfortable. Last Friday, this picture was taken outside Progressive Field before the Cleveland Indians home opener. Protesters from the American Indian Movement were outside the arena to urge the team to remove Chief Wahoo as its mascot, and were confronted by a Cleveland fan in full dress. Twelve years is a long time for such an issue to still be unresolved, but the controversy has been going much longer. -via Metafilter

Lenny the cat has a story that most cats can’t match -he suffered a failed adoption because he farts too much. Lenny was found at a park in Rochester, New York, in February and taken in to Scottsville Veterinary Adoptions in Scottsville. He was adopted out, but was returned two days later. His Facebook update said,  

Hello! I was returned today because I fart too much. I am hoping I can find a person who can love me even with my stinky farts. I am a 19 month old neutered male and would love to be your smelly cuddle cat. I am very friendly and love to be petted and held. I even am wearing a tuxedo so I'll look snazzy if you come to see me.

The veterinary clinic could find no problem with Lenny, and did not notice him to be overly gassy. But the story has a happy ending: Lenny has since found a new home. -via Arbroath

(Image credit: Scottsville Veterinary Adoptions)

Ben Goldacre, The Guardian: "Today we found out that Tamiflu doesn't work so well after all. Roche, the drug company behind it, withheld vital information on its clinical trials for half a decade, but the Cochrane Collaboration, a global not-for-profit organisation of 14,000 academics, finally obtained all the information. Putting the evidence together, it has found that Tamiflu has little or no impact on complications of flu infection, such as pneumonia."

The Telegraph: 'The review, authored by Oxford University, claims that Roche, the drug's Swiss manufacturer, gave a "false impression" of its effectiveness and accuses the company of "sloppy science".'

BBC News: 'The UK has spent £473m on Tamiflu, which is stockpiled by governments globally to prepare for flu pandemics.'

Reuters: 'The United States has spent more than $1.3 billion buying a strategic reserve of antivirals including Tamiflu...'

The Guardian: 'He and the rest of the Cochrane team asked Roche for the full, unpublished trials data. Roche said they could have it if they signed a confidentiality agreement, but they refused. They updated their review in 2009, omitting data they could not be sure of and concluded that the drug may work no better than aspirin.'

Previously on MetaFilter (May 2011).

Paseniño paseniño foise coando o castelanismo estropear e os seus derivados, caso de estropicio, na lingua galega cotiá. Ás veces parece imposible que determinadas palabras consigan facerse un oco en campos semánticos nos que o noso idioma ten un cadal moi notorio e estendido entre os falantes. Pero ocorre e este é un caso paradigmático.

Porque en galego estropear ten varios sinónimos de moita potencia e tan correntes que ninguén pode frunxir a testa e protestar porque “os do galego andan sempre a “inventar” palabras”. Estropear é un italianismo no castelán cuxo significado máis estendido é o terceiro en orde de prioridade para a RAE: “botar a perder, malograr calquera asunto ou proxecto”. Para substituír esta forma podemos utilizar estragar, derramar, desbaratar, esmendrellar, escarallar, descompoñer, avariar… Na miña casa utilizamos a forma alagar tamén. En orixe, alagar úsase para definir o acto de cubrirse de auga algún obxecto mais en sentido figurado fai referencia ao estrago ou avaría dalgunha cousa. Nalgunhas zonas úsase como sinónimo de esboroar: “O temporal alagou varias casas na costa” mais na Maraña podemos escoitar cousas como “Teño que comprar outra televisión que esta está alagada”.

Estropear tamén fai referencia (este signficado está pouco vivo na lingua habitual) a facerlle dano a alguén. Úsase máis ben en sentido pasivo. “Estás bien estropeado, majo”. En galego podemos usar as formas escarallar, estragar, acabar… “Estás ben acabado, che”.

Para traducir a palabra estropicio a forma máis acaída é desfeita, estrago, desastre e unha palabra que me presta moito: zarracina. A orixe desta palabra hai que buscala na palabra sarraceno, unha das varias formas coas que se definiron historicamente os musulmáns. Non queda claro se a analoxía entre desfeita e mouros ten a ver coa ansia cristiá de fender muslimes ou o medo cristián a que viñesen os sarracenos e saqueasen todo ao seu paso. Tendo en conta que en Galicia houbo varios episodios de sacos a mans de turcos, denominados xenericamente como sarracenos en moitas ocasións, coido que a noción de desastre era por telo sufrido non por telo ocasionado.

The other day I was looking back at old cartoons and found this one from 2008. Spike Jonze, I was WAY ahead of you.

 

Croquis de mi habitación. Hay todavía más desastre que no está dibujado.

(Photo: William Warby)

Since 1933, the board game Monopoly has been the source of countless fights and arguments among friends and families. It's a great game. But most games need a bit of tweaking over time as players discover problems that reduce rather than exacerbate conflict. Accordingly, Hasbro, the company that owns Monopoly, has issued new rules. These rules are suggestions from players who have adapted the game to suit their own needs. Leanne Italie writes for the Associated Press:

The winning house rule for landing on Go means players get 400 Monopoly dollars instead of the official 200. As for Free Parking, official rules call for absolutely nothing to happen when a player lands there. Under the house rule, any taxes and fees collected are thrown into the middle for a lucky someone who lands on that corner square.

Rounding out the five winners are players must travel around the board one full time before they can begin buying properties, and collecting 500 bucks for rolling double ones.

What changes to the game would you make?

-via TYWKIWDBI

I know many people who have only been to two states—the one they were born in, and a lingering state of denial. I don’t understand people who don’t like to travel, but then again I don’t understand people in general.

Related Thought

Why I Want To Travel To All 50 States

Come a break from school, winter or summer, I strive to be somewhere else—somewhere new. New York is California is Nebraska is Colorado.

Ever since arriving on these shores aboard the good ship Mayflower, I’ve made it a point to see all 48 of the continental United States as well as the massive iceberg way up north and the tiny semitropical archipelago in the mid-Pacific.

These are my capsule reviews of the 50 states that compose our fragile union like so many incompatible spouses.

Alabama

George Wallace and Hank Williams are from here; despite that song they did, Lynyrd Skynyrd isn’t, and chances are that you aren’t, either.

Alaska

In late June, the sun feels so close it’s as if you can stand on your toes and kiss it.

Arizona

Most of this Southwestern dust pit is as serenely prickly as a giant saguaro, but Phoenix is the world’s largest and most unsightly parking lot.

Arkansas

The millions of roosters and hens routinely herded into slaughterhouses here were unable to tell the police about Governor Bill Clinton’s routine sexual harassment of the state’s female humans.

California

Too big to succeed, which is why it will eventually break into pieces and sink into the ocean.

Related Thought

Here Are Registration + Voting Instructions For All 50 States

The goal of this list is to create a resource -- particularly for young people -- who may have moved around a lot and so may not have ID that matches perfectly to their state or current residence.

Colorado

It must have been so much more scenic before people arrived.

Connecticut

Mystic is a pretty little port town, but there’s nothing mystical about the rest of the state.

Delaware

It’s a former colony that became the first state in the union and has done nothing since.

Florida

California, but with flying cockroaches.

Georgia

Home to Deliverance, Ludacris, boiled peanuts, and peach-colored sunsets, the people are so friendly I don’t want you to know that, or else you might move here.

Hawaii

A nice place to visit, but the natives are getting restless.

Idaho

There are a thousand natural hot mineral springs in which to boil your potatoes.

Illinois

Apart from the 24-hour Greek diners on every corner in Chicago, the state has all the personality of cardboard.

Indiana

As bleak, grey, and dreary as I imagine Poland to be, only with fewer Polish people.

Iowa

Surprisingly this has perennially been one of the most literate states in the nation; the people and the livestock are surprisingly friendly, too.

Kansas

When things suddenly got colorful, Dorothy told Toto she didn’t think they were in Kansas anymore.

Kentucky

A very laid-back and gentle place, probably because everyone’s on pills.

Louisiana

The only place on Earth where alligators speak French.

Maine

Monosyllabic.

Maryland

There are so many abandoned buildings in Baltimore, the state’s famous and delectable blue crabs have started to occupy them.

Massachusetts

A great place to party, unless you’re a woman and Ted Kennedy’s driving you home.

Michigan

So scary, even Ted Nugent left.

Minnesota

So cold, even the snowmen complain.

Mississippi

A humid haze of mint juleps and weeping willows and red clay and segregation.

Missouri

Middle Americans sandwiched between two urban war zones.

Montana

You notice how big the sky and mountains are because there’s nothing to see on the ground.

Nebraska

Flatter and uglier than a rusty razor blade.

Nevada

Prehistoric Flintstones desert scenery with a neon tumor called Vegas.

New Hampshire

I haven’t been to the old Hampshire, but I imagine it’s better.

New Jersey

An industrial-strength concentration camp for douchebags.

New Mexico

Multicolored rock formations and multicolored vomit from suspiciously prepared burritos.

New York

The only state whose residents don’t realize there are 49 other states.

North Carolina

Rolling hills and friendly hill folk—except for Asheville, where the hippie-hipsters walk around as if they have dreamcatchers lodged in their rectums.

North Dakota

A rectangle made of ice.

Ohio

The place you have to pass through when you’re heading from east to west.

Oklahoma

A state that knows it sucks yet is proud to admit it.

Oregon

A rugged coastline and pristine mountain interior make this a paradise for lesbian hikers.

Pennsylvania

Come for the hoagies and cheese steaks, then leave quietly in the morning.

Rhode Island

Not technically an island, so I call bullshit.

South Carolina

The unnecessary Carolina.

South Dakota

Refreshingly scenic, it’s the antidote to North Dakota.

Tennessee

The people are so fat, their muffin tops spill over into Georgia and Kentucky.

Texas

So awful, even its residents only give it one star.

Utah

The only place in the country where the scenery is so eyeball-poppingly gorgeous, I burst out laughing—on two different occasions, years apart.

Vermont

Maple syrup, covered bridges, artisanal ice cream, and white people who fled New York in fear but still manage to be “progressive.”

Virginia

Mountains on one side, beaches on the other, and not much in between at all.

Washington

The state that gave the world Jimi Hendrix, rumored to be the only black person ever to live there.

West Virginia

Coal miners and snake handlers and bootleggers and cockfights—in short, my favorite state of all.

Wisconsin

If you look closely behind the cows, you will find serial killers.

Wyoming

A place where a man and his horse can be friends without there being any danger that people will notice.

Un deputado popular fillo e neto de represaliados pola ditadura defende o bloqueo a unha iniciativa de AGE para outorgarlles a máxima distinción da Xunta aos dous obreiros do naval ferrolán asasinados pola policía franquista en 1972

1. Feel Confident. It may seem like a cliché to some, but feeling confident is the fastest way to unlock your inner sex god. There’s nothing sexy about someone who is sad and mopey, who complains all the time and seems like they’re never having fun. When you feel confident you perk up, you stand up taller, you’re assertive. Even in our most unconfident moments, there are all sorts of micro moments where we feel sexy. So when was the last time you felt super confident? Replay that moment in your head as much as you need.

2. Practice Yoga. Yoga makes you feel confident because it is about focusing on you. You build stamina, tone your muscles, become aware of your body. And you get to wear skin tight clothes that make your body look amazing. Downward facing dog, anyone?

3. Go For That Disheveled Look. I like a guy who always seems a little dirty. Not dirty dirty, more like rough. Maybe his hair is a little unkempt, and maybe he looks a little worn in. Think about how sexy bed/after sex hair can be! Now imagine if you channeled that raw sexual energy throughout your day. You’ll keep them coming back for more.

4. Wear A Leather Jacket. Everyone likes a bad girl or a bad boy from time to time. A nice leather jacket is the perfect way to pump up the volume on your sex appeal in a way that’s as effortless as it is seductive. No matter what you’re wearing, if you throw a leather jacket on top, chances are people will find you sexy.

5. Flirt! Nothing says “I feel sexy” like an unapologetic flirt. You shouldn’t flirt with every single person you meet — just that one person who really does it for you. When you flirt with someone you’re essentially broadcasting your availability and sex appeal. Flirting makes you feel and look confident and, again, what’s sexier than confidence? Undress hot people with your eyes or otherwise imagine all the sexy things you’d like to do with them. The sentiment will register across your whole body.

6. Make The First Move. The only thing that gets in the way of you having some sexy times with a person you really like is that both of you really want each other but neither of you has made a move. You’re both too scared, you both feel unsexy, you can’t tell if s/he is into you and — omg — what would happen if you got rejected? If you get rejected then you get rejected. But you’ll never know if you don’t try! Don’t be the person who talks about having a crush but is too afraid to make a move on them because you don’t feel sexy or think you’re not their type.

7. Smile More. A smile is worth a thousand words. When you smile your face opens up, and you’re better able to show that you’re a fun person who is probably even more fun in bed. Smile, and let your personality do the talking.

8. Ditch The Undergarments. There’s something immediately appealing when you’re the only one in on the fact that you’re not wearing any underwear. I sometimes don’t wear panties and am the only one who knows, and when I’ve been in relationships with guys in the past I’ve texted them, “Hey how are you? I’m not wearing any panties.” which always seems to make them sexy, and now we’re both in on the secret. It works the other way around, too. If I know my man isn’t wearing any underwear I will try to give him a public boner. Makes us both feel sexy and a little bit dirty.

9. Listen To Your Favorite Sex Songs. Personally my current favorite is Beyoncé’s “Drunk in Love.” The point of sex songs is that they elevate your senses and are the extra boost you need to make you feel sexy. Try listening to some of your favorite sex songs during the day, or right before a hot date, and see how they alter your mood.

10. Work A Smokey Eye — During The Day. Nothing says smoldering seductress like a smokey eye.

11. Most Importantly, Know You’re Sexy. You’re a sexy beast. Know it. Tell yourself every day.

El mejor comienzo de la historia del cine… con dos de los personajes más lerdos.

Pinche aquí para ver el vídeo

Marutaro is an absolutely awesome hedgehog who generously poses for pictures with illustrated masks that his human made for him.

Mr. Mark E. Smith

Radiohead Is for Boring Nerds

"I've watched a lot of terrible films over the years... And even by these standards, Driscoll's output is atrocious. But whereas directors like [German] Uwe Boll will happily revel in a 'worst film director ever' title, Richard has absolutely no sense of humour about it. He genuinely thinks he's creating art." --- This is the story of British actor/director Richard Driscoll, his 2012 film "Eldorado" and how it all landed him in jail.

"We all have our nostalgia. But, at least for me, my love of Henson's work goes beyond that. I don't think we love the Muppets simply because they came from our childhood. We love the Muppets because they gave us a worldview – a profoundly idealistic, yet profoundly realistic worldview – that many of us carry into our adulthoods. It is only rarely that we take the time to consider where we picked up such ideas."

By J. Wisniewski  Published: April 09th, 2014  When you hear the word "Renaissance," chances are it summons up a mental image of brilliant artists effortlessly crapping out masterpieces and inventions, like a never-ending TED Talk in pantaloons. But some of what you think you know is wrong, some

Segundo post de nuestra última adquisición como autor del blog, el gran Txipi.

Hola esta vez os dejo la coleccion "Natacha" en la que bajo un guion muy poco original nos encontramos con una coleccion en la que el caracter la personalidad, el estilo y sobre todo ese punto de sensualidad de nuestra protagonista la convierten en una coleccion diferente y divertida. Uno de mis personajes favoritos dentro del comic Francobelga... Disfrutarlo.

SINOPSIS
Natacha es una azafata de avión y contrariamente a otros personajes de la BD cuya profesión es sólo un pretexto a aventuras diversas, Natacha aparece bien en las páginas de sus aventuras en el ejercicio de su oficio. Trascurriendo casi siempre sus aventuras en viajes de aviones de línea. No obstante, en contadas ocasiones, los guionistas arrastran a nuestra heroína en aventuras diversas a lo largo y ancho del mundo. Feminista y soltera endurecida, es acompañada en sus aventuras por su colega de trabajo Walter, auxiliar en la misma compañía que ella: Bardaf. Walter está guionizado un poco a la imagen de su creador, un apasionado del Jazz, cuyos discos colecciona en vinilo, de la BD, de los viajes y de la fotografía. Ambos se hayan acompañados la mayoría de las ocasiones por el Comandante Turbo y su copiloto Legrain. Estos cuatro personajes son los únicos recurrentes en el conjunto de los álbumes y cohesionan los diferentes temas y los diferentes ambientes de los álbumes de la serie. Asegurando la coherencia del ambiente e impidiendo el despiste del lector.

GUION (Roland Goossens)
Gos, cuyo verdadero nombre es Roland Goossens, es un escritor e ilustrador de cómic belga, nacido el 1 de marzo de 1937 en Thy-le-Château.

En 1967 participó como guionista del último álbum de Spirou y Fantasio dirigida por André Franquin , Panade a Champignac. Cuando Franquin decidió abandonar la serie  Fantasio y Spirou, Gos junto con otros diseñadores trataron de retomar la serie pero en última instancia, no se reanudaria. En 1969, escribió el guión de Francis Walthéry una aventura Benedicto Brisefer (Circus Bodoni). También escribió las primeras historias de Natacha, junto con su gran amigo François Walthery. En 1970, volvió a dibujar Gil Jourdan, de Maurice Tillieux sigue velando por el escenario hasta su muerte en 1978.


ILUSTRACIONES (François Walthéry) François Walthéry es un dibujante y escritor belga de cómics nacido en Argenteau (región de Lieja, Bélgica ) el 17 de enero 1946. Su carrera como dibujante está ligada a la de Mittei y la de Peyo. De hecho, es Mittei que en 1961, le animó a  inscribirse en el Instituto Saint-Luc de Liège. En 1962, Mittei  le dio el dibujo de la serie Pipo, publicado en la revista junior. En 1963, su carrera se aceleró cuando es contratado, a los 17 años, como asistente en el estudio Peyo. Fue entonces cuando conoció a Derib , Bennet , Lucien De Gieter , Marc Wasterlain y muchos otros. Comenzó dibujando una parte de la decoración de la Schtroumpfonie, y mas tarde trabajo en la serie Jacky et Célestin desde 1963 a 1964 y, finalmente, en 1964 Benedicto Brisefer  en el que dibujó cuatro álbumes hasta 1972. En 1970, para Le Journal de Spirou creó junto con Gos y Delporte la serie que lo hizo famoso, Natasha .

Idioma: Español.
Editorial: Novaro, Dupuis, Marsu
Guion: Gos, Peyo, Maurice Tillieux, Raoul Cauvin, Marc Wasterlain
Dibujo: François Walthéry
Tradumaquetadores: Gerald Duck, elteclista, manoskelly, Kokor, Marimon, Leech3r, Jabato8, Berumen, Cantoseegla (CRG)
Archivos: 22
Formato: CBR.
Tamaño: 825.3 Mb



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• Natacha

Galicia terá un 'novo dicionário galego de língua portuguesa' antes do verán. O secretario xeral de Política Lingüística amosa a súa confianza coa entrada na Comunidade de Países de Língua Portuguesa (CPLP).

Amador Rei e Daniel Niebla morreron en 1972 tiroteados pola Policía logo dunha manifestación de obreiros de Bazán. O PPdeG xustifica que xa se lle concedeu a Castelao no 1984 en representación de "todos os exiliados, encarcerados ou represaliados".