All too often lately, I see some article about some idiot starlet saying she’s totally like, not a feminist or anything. Yesterday it was Lana del Rey saying she thought feminism was “boring” and “just not an interesting concept.” A couple weeks ago it was Shailene Woodley saying she thinks feminism “discriminates” or something. Taylor Swift says she’s not a feminist. Kelis says she’s not a feminist. Lady Gaga says she’s not a feminist. Nearly all for the same vastly uninformed reason–that they “like men.”
Oy.
I suppose, as a feminist, I’m supposed to clutch my pearls and/or a pile of Kill Rock Stars records and go “What is the world coming to??? Where did we go wrong? Is feminism over forever?” or something. I’m not doing that. In fact, for what it’s worth, I could not possibly care less about what a bunch of dumb pop stars and starlets think about feminism–particularly when they clearly have no idea what feminism even is. It’s like asking me for my advice on how to fix some car thing or the best place to go camping.
I’m not annoyed by their answers, because I don’t really expect more of them. I’m far more annoyed by the fact that the question is being asked in the first place. Trust me, if a woman is a feminist, she will let you know. There will always and forever be women who are petrified that if they say they’re a feminist then men won’t like them, or that they’ll think they don’t shave their legs or are somehow just less pretty. They think feminism means “hating men” or burning bras, which, by the way, no one ever actually even did. I’m sorry, but I just don’t think you should ask people what they think about “feminism” when they’re obviously not clear on what it even is. All this ends up doing is making them look even more stupid, and I don’t happen to like seeing women look stupid. Even if it’s women I don’t happen to like much to begin with.
These idiotic statements don’t cause problems for these women’s careers, but I do think they can be damaging to young women who very much need strong female role models to look up to. I think it sucks that there aren’t a lot of them out there right now, because having had them growing up did me a lot of good. I want young women today to see smart women, strong women, take-no-prisoners women.
I consider myself lucky in that I came of age at the exact right time to be a feminist. In my middle school years I had Sassy Magazine, Riot Grrrl, Queen Latifah, Salt-n-Pepa, Ani DiFranco, Roseanne, Murphy Brown, Julia Sugarbaker–hell, even Jessie Spano, etc. At a time when “Woman of the ’90s” was a certain kind of code for “DON’T FUCK WITH ME, FELLAS!” Being a strong woman was a thing–it was a thing to be proud of, and it was a thing I took to heart. Although my mom was a feminist and it was something I was raised with anyway, I’m not going to deny that the culture I was surrounded by helped to cultivate that. It definitely wasn’t “cool” to be a delicate flower or a man-pleaser.
Times have changed, I guess. But they always do, and culture is a part of that. It’s such a strong part of it that at one point it was done deliberately. If you look at movies from the 1940s compared to movies from the 1950s, there’s an obvious difference in the way women are portrayed. During WWII, because so many men were off fighting, women needed to go to work and they needed to be pretty strong and badass. Films reflected that, and you had stars like Rosalind Russell, Joan Crawford and Katharine Hepburn rocking some serious shoulder pads and not taking any shit from anyone. When the men came back and they needed women to go back to being “more feminine” so they’d be good little wives and homemakers, you got Marilyn Monroe, Debbie Reynolds and Lana Turner. You got a lot of shows on television like “The Donna Reed Show” and “Leave it to Beaver,” and all of this was a conscientious effort on behalf of the entertainment industry to essentially tell women “Ok! You can go home now ladies!”
I don’t think that it’s the same kind of official, “We’re doing this for our country!” conscientious effort now. I think on some level, there are some women who just don’t want to feel like they have to be “strong women.” They want to feel like the fighting is over now, that we won the battles for them and they can just relax and enjoy it. They want the luxury of not having to be Murphy Brown or Kathleen Hanna. Unfortunately, in many ways, things are actually worse now for women than they were in the ’90s, and yeah, we’re gonna need some strong, bad ass bitches out there if we don’t want to keep losing all of our hard won rights.
I don’t know what reporters are trying to get at when they ask these women if they’re feminists or not. Is it to make them look stupid? Is it to make us look stupid? Is it just the new version of “Ok! You can go home now ladies?” All I can tell you is, if you want to know what a feminist is, you should probably just ask an actual feminist.