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07 Nov 02:43

El cuñadismo y otras burbujas

by David Garcia

En este mundo que nos ha tocado vivir, la economía, la sociedad, la vida por tanto, es una sucesión de acontecimientos que ocurre entre burbuja y burbuja. Si usted sale a caminar por la calle, verá que la homogeneización, tanto estética como de contenido, es el vehículo en el que se imponen los gustos de masas. Una vez neutralizada la burbuja del vapeo, aún quedan algunas que deben pinchar para mantener al mundo en armonía.

mPwnMp

No sabe de qué diablos le estáis hablando

La burbuja de la corrupción

No. Ya está bien. No se puede gobernar, no se puede legislar, no se puede trabajar cuando todo el mundo te tiene tanta manía que te imputan por cualquier cosilla. Estamos en un escenario tan políticamente correcto que no se permiten cosas que se habían hecho así toda la vida sin que pasara nada, asuntos que contribuyen a lubricar la sólida máquina de la democracia.

¿Qué importancia pueden tener estas fruslerías si las comparamos con asuntos tan graves como el Propinagate o el robo del siglo? La degeneración social es tan grande que está mal visto cobrar pequeñas comisiones por el trabajo bien hecho, no explicar cuál es el origen de tu fortuna, organizar cursos para los desempleados, pagar a los albañiles con los ahorros de toda una vida o reunirte libremente con quien quieras para obtener lo mejor para los intereses propios.

Esta escalada de imputaciones solo está consiguiendo dos cosas: la primera es que los partidos extremistas y radicales, esos que constantemente enarbolan el disparate para hacer política con argumentos tan anticuados como la transparencia, la declaración del capital oculto o unos servicios públicos de calidad, estén cosechando esperanzas antes solo reservadas para políticos limpios, con pelo corto y corbata, como Dios manda. La segunda, que están avergonzando a una señora mayor, que reclutó a grandes gestores como Francisco Granados, Juan José Güemes, Alberto López Viejo o Francisco Acedo y que ahora es traicionada una y otra vez.

Esta moda de imputar sin ton ni son pasará y la sociedad se dará cuenta de que EL SISTEMA, así con mayúsculas, ha dejado de funcionar y servir a la gente de bien. Y solo por unos casos aislados.

El cuñadismo

Aquí tenemos que entonar un sincero y lamentado mea culpa. Desde Yorokobu hemos estado durante meses alimentando a ese gran monstruo que es el cuñao español como ente abstracto.

Tratamos de otorgarle identidad y forma a través de un manifiesto, creamos contenidos específicos para esa tipología hispánica e incluso le hicimos la lista de la compra. ¿Cómo nos hemos dado cuenta de que ya era suficiente? Cuando hemos leído la siguiente noticia: Los indígenas yanomami del Amazonas forman bandas de cuñados para hacer la guerra.

No nos queda más que entregar las armas, pedir perdón a las víctimas y solicitar a nuestros compañeros de gremio que se adhieran a este movimiento y dejen al cuñao morir. Ya se ha sufrido bastante. Aquí, no volverá a ocurrir.

Cuñao deluxe

La burbuja del derecho al olvido

El desarrollo tecnológico y la explosión de conocimiento que ha supuesto internet han llenado los servidores de todo el mundo de una ingente cantidad de datos que crece exponencialmente cada día.

Ahora ha comenzado el camino inverso, el proceso mediante el cual los usuarios pueden solicitar a Google la eliminación de ciertos datos de su buscador y que da lugar a un proceso mediante el cual internet cabrá, en no mucho tiempo, en un DVD.

Además, el derecho al olvido nos proporcionará en el futuro noticias tan chanantes como esta que se ha producido hoy mismo: ETA se borra de internet gracias al derecho al olvido de Google.

A ver, queridos. Ya existe el derecho al olvido sin necesidad de buscadores. Se llama resaca. Es mágico. Hace que olvides todas las cosas de las que te avergüenzas y con las que has abochornado al prójimo la noche anterior. No hagáis que internet sea una gran resaca mundial.

giphy

Las fragancias de pega

Si piensan que la corrupción es un cáncer social es porque aún no hemos hablado de las perfumerías con fragancias de imitación. ¿Recuerdan que hablamos, hace unos meses, de la invasión de fruterías mutantes? No, ya lo sé. Pero el caso es que esas fruterías, con coloridos carteles y sandías cortadas en cuartos, están dejando paso a perfumerías. Mal. Sí. Pero peor aún cuando se observa la sucesión de contenedores de perfume, todos clónicos, gemelos, solo diferenciados por un código numérico y con un precio exactamente igual.

Todos esos botes se disponen en locales asépticos con paredes de colores imposibles. Hay varios rasgos que diferencian a estos lugares.

  • Nunca hay nadie comprando.
  • La dependienta, normalmente de género femenino, dedica las tardes a consultar Facebook.
  • Hay un cartel que marca el precio refiriéndose al volumen despachado. Como es un número en una pared, no sabes si es mucho o poco. Así que para evitarte el lío, no entras.
  • Nunca hay una de estas tiendas aislada. Si has detectado una de ellas, habrá otra franquicia de una matriz de la competencia a escasos metros.

 La burbuja de los programas de cocina

Puedo asegurar que esto es algo que no me importaba. Hasta que el otro día fui a ponerle la cena a mi hija y me dijo que me metiese el huevo frito por donde me cupiese, que ella, si no venía esferificado, ni huevo ni hostias.

Yo antes tenía una casa hipotecada en la que había dos cazos, una sartén quemada, un escurridor de los chinos y un abrelatas de los que te rompe las uñas cada vez que abres la lata de fuagrás Pamplonica.

Ahora, la hipoteca la tengo sobre todos los utensilios de cocina que pueblan los armarios. He tenido que sacar a la niña a dormir al pasillo para meter los moldes de muffins, los sazonadores, las salseras, el oatmeal kit, el descorazonador de manzanas y el puto soplete de flambear.

Lo voy a expresar claramente: Alberto Chicote, me cago en toda tu estirpe. Carlos Top Chef, hidrógeno líquido, tus muertos.

Chicote

Majete

La burbuja de llamar burbujas a las modas

Porque amigos, sí, soy gilipollas.

 

The post El cuñadismo y otras burbujas appeared first on Yorokobu.

06 Nov 19:19

Scientist Now Know Why Humans Only Have One Penis

Anacondas don’t want none unless you have two penises hun.

Research published in this week's Nature solves the mystery of why snakes and lizards develop pairs of genitalia while the rest of us don't.

Research published in this week's Nature solves the mystery of why snakes and lizards develop pairs of genitalia while the rest of us don't.

Tess Thornton / tr.wikipedia.org / CC

Species lucky enough to have two penises do so because the genitals develop from cells located near the legs, or where the legs would have been.

Species lucky enough to have two penises do so because the genitals develop from cells located near the legs, or where the legs would have been.

Whereas species that only have one penis do so because the genitals develop from cells near the tail, or where the tail would have been.

So next time someone refers to their member as their third leg, please correct them — it is actually more like a tail.

Alex Popovkin / Flickr: plants_of_russian_in_brazil / CC

The genitalia of all species develop from something called the cloaca. The location of this cloaca is the key to whether an animal ends up with two sets of junk or not.

The genitalia of all species develop from something called the cloaca. The location of this cloaca is the key to whether an animal ends up with two sets of junk or not.

In most mammals the cloaca is only an embryonic structure (some types of cloaca are still present in marsupials and egg laying mammals known as monotremes). As the embryo develops, the cloaca splits into the anus and urethra (and in females the vagina). Birds, however, keep their cloaca intact, and use it for feces and urine excretion as well as reproduction. Nice huh?

Jared Yelton / en.wikipedia.org / CC


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06 Nov 18:51

Game of Thrones Showrunner Finally Discloses Bran’s Involvement in Season 5 - Stop Hodoring!

by Victoria McNally

Bran-Stark-bran-stark-29916703-717-485

Boy, I sure hope Bran isn’t your favorite character, because the lead-up to season 5 must be an emotional roller coaster for you. Is he in this season? Is he not in this season? Where the hell is Coldhands! Relax, sweet summer child—David Benioff has answers (and spoilers) for you. Except about Coldhands. Who knows where that dude is.

So now it’s time for the bad news: no Bran this season. Benioff addressed the rumors first started by Kristian Nairn (Hodor), and explained the showrunners’ decision in an interview with Entertainment Weekly yesterday:

“Ideally that wouldn’t have gotten out and it’s unfortunate it did,” Benioff said. “The fact is, even though we’re making changes to the books and adapting as necessary, we’re trying to keep the various storylines the same as the books and trying to keep them roughly [chronologically] parallel. And last year we caught up to the end of Bran’s storyline [in George R.R. Martin’s most recent A Song of Ice and Fire novel, A Dance with Dragons]. So if we pushed him forward this season, then he’s way ahead of where the other characters are.”

“It made sense to stop where we did,” Benioff said. “He’s now entering a training period which is going to take quite some time, much of which isn’t particularly cinematic. So rather than being stuck in a cave for a year, we figured it would be interesting to leave him out for a little bit, so when you see him again…” Benioff didn’t want to reveal much more beyond that.

Well, it makes sense when he puts it that way—especially when you take into account that actor Isaac Hampstead-Wright is deep in the throes of puberty and already looks way older than he did when the show first began. Having some time away will probably make that age difference all the more striking when we come back to Bran, particularly once he has all those fun warg powers. And hey, more room for Dorne now, right?

(via EW)

Previously in Game of Thrones

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06 Nov 18:44

Pussy Talk (1975) Claude Mulot

by noreply@blogger.com (David Arthur)
Pussy Talk (1975) 
aka Le Sexe qui Parle
Genre: Adult | Comedy | Fantasy
Country: France | Director: Claude Mulot (Frederic Lansac)
Language: English or French (2 separate audio tracks) | Subtitles: none
Aspect ratio: Widescreen 1.85:1 | Length: 88mn
Dvdrip Xvid Avi - 608x368 - 25fps - 1.72gb
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0190780/

One of the most famous and controversial French porno films ever made. This film from director Frederic Lansac tells the incredible story of a gorgeous young woman who discovers that her vagina has developed a life and a voice of its own. Unable to control her lower half, she finds herself forced to embark on a quest for the ultimate orgasm, and maybe, a cure for her strange problem.

Grand Prize winner at the first (and only) International Porn Film Festival in Paris, August 1975, it's a nostalgic reminder of what Euro porn could have been if it weren't for upcoming stringent government interference which effectively nipped the genre in the bud by placing tremendous taxes on production, distribution and display of graphic erotica, sentencing these (initially ambitious) movies to the ghetto of backstreet theaters and restricted budgets.
 Pussy Talk (1975)
or
06 Nov 18:41

I'll leave this here

by garciuh










joeldanielphillips10







New Guster Album Features Ferrofluidic Art







What Supposedly Scary Story Made You Laugh Instead?

dark fashion

Gareth Pugh - Fashion

Gareth Pugh - Fashion

Russian Criminal Tattoo Police Files2

Russian Criminal Tattoo Police Files9

Russian Criminal Tattoo Police Files22

Russian Criminal Tattoo Police Files21

What Is The Most Terrifying Problem We Face Today?







teopirisi-moneyless02

Anonymous sex...






Common Animals Morphed Into Terrifying New Species











_78796825_hltau_nrao



This Owl Is Flying Straight Into Your Face










Ewa Juszkiewicz - Painting

surreal Painting

Ewa Juszkiewicz - Painting







 (via TumbleOn)













The Earth And The Moon, In A Single Frame





Marc Sijan - Brief

Marc Sijan - Levitation

Marc Sijan - Man

Timothy Hyunsoo Lee- Mixed Media Painting

Follow This Lioness As She Hunts With A GoPro On Her Back



In the Future, Radiation Adds a Layer of Difficulty to Animal Dissection





Trans-man with ball implants











THE END




read more

06 Nov 18:30

The CRY! – Dangerous Game (2014)

by exy
Snob

Un dos discos do ano for sure!

The CRYTaking that retro power pop sound and style into the 21st Century The CRY! release their second album Dangerous Game and if that sound is what you’re craving then you need this album! They have the guitar licks and the harmonies a plenty and clearly know their way around a catchy hook or two.
Take the title track ‘Dangerous Game’ for a snotty trip. Some sumptuous guitar licks and backing vocal “whoo-hoos” Portland, Oregon has a band to be proud of and one that most definitely can compete with the Biters for that power pop crown, no question about it. The whole feel of this record is excellent and it has a timeless charm to it as well as familiarity. Ray Nelson has the perfect lead vocal sneer and trades licks with lead guitarist Brian Crace that sets up the sound. It’s happy go…

320 kbps | 66 MB  UL | MC ** FLAC

…lucky but with a spikey punk rock edge and they’ve just about got the mix off to a tee.

The lead single and opening track, ‘Discotheque’, tells you everything you need to know about this band. They clearly get “it” whatever “it” might be. From the cowbell to the hand claps and the uber cool guitar lick and honky tonk piano “it” is certainly in evidence. The first digital single off this record, ‘Seventeen’, belies their ages and sounds like the work of men twice their years who know a thing or two about bubblegum power pop, but it goes to show that you will be nothing short of impressed when you spin this platter.

06 Nov 18:26

Feijoo y Besteiro, más lejos que nunca

by M. Cheda
Snob

QUE LE META

El jefe de la oposición rechaza pactar contra la corrupción con el presidente de la Xunta, que anuncia para Galicia la ley de transparencia «máis esixente do Estado»

06 Nov 18:24

Feijóo di estar disposto a comparecer no Parlamento tras rexeitalo 43 veces en dous anos

by David Lombao

O presidente da Xunta non comparece dende o escándalo polas fotos co narcotraficante Marcial Dorado. O PP evitou que tivese que dar explicacións sobre a trama Zeta,  sobre "o suposto financiamento ilegal do PP" ou a respecto das caixas, o naval ou o paro, entre outros asuntos

06 Nov 18:24

A mafia dos licores que se movía con rifles de asalto

Cae unha rede de destilerías ilegais en Galicia e Portugal que tiña fusiles CETME e granadas, vehículos de luxo e movía centos de milleiros de euros.
06 Nov 18:23

Sábado, X Magusto Picheleiro!Castanhas e música durante todo o dia!!!

by Gentalha

Neste sábado, 8 de Novembro no C.S O Pichel, haverá festas desde a 13h30 ate que o corpo ature!!
O programa completinho é:
- 13h30 Sessom vermú com o DJ HADRIH
- 14h30 Jantar de petiscos outonais (caldo, guiso vegetal, guiso com carne, sobremesas…)

- 18h30 Magusto pequeninho da Semente Compostela com actividades para crianças
- 19h Obradoiro de Torta de Castanhas por Marie Lacassagne
- 20h30 Parolada com Xurxo Souto. “S.Martinho vs. Merlim” ou de como este tempo de castanhas e calacús guia-nos diretamente à Alta Idade Media e a luita entre a nova e a velha religiom, com Martinho de Dume como protagonista principal
- A partir das 21h30 MAGUSTO com música tradicional e ceia de petiscos de outuno.
- 22h30 CONCERTO: OS TRES TREBONS com Os Homes sem Medo
- 00h30 FOLIADA ABERTA, traz o teu instrumento e soma-te à festa!!!!

magusto

06 Nov 18:22

Feijóo reivindica ser "máis de Podemos que os de Podemos", que son "burguesía"

by David Lombao

O presidente reivindica que non é "casta" porque na súa familia non hai "profesores universitarios" nin vínculos coa "burguesía galega" e vincula a formación de Pablo iglesias con "réximes que producen moita dor, moita incerteza e moita pobreza". Audio no interior

06 Nov 17:33

Photo









06 Nov 17:26

Everything you think you know is wrong, in one chart

by Libby Nelson

We don't only have five senses. Napoleon wasn't actually short for an 18th-century Frenchman. Caffeine doesn't dehydrate you. Swimming after you eat won't cause cramps.

Basically, everything you think you know is wrong, as this fascinating graphic from Information is Beautiful shows. (Click through on the link for the full graphic, which has more than 50 debunked myths.)

Screen_Shot_2014-11-06_at_10.52.02_AM.0.png

You may even discover new myths you hadn't known about, like the widespread rumors that George Washington smoked pot.

06 Nov 17:25

Rescued baby sea otter learning to swim will melt the coldest of hearts

by Maggie Serota
Rescued baby sea otter learning to swim will melt the coldest of hearts

So far, this rescued see otter, tentatively named “Pup 681,” has the backstory to become the next great Disney hero. The orphaned female pup was rescued off of the beaches of beaches of central California when she was just about a week old, weighing in at about 2 pounds. She was then taken to Monterey Bay Aquarium for rehabilitation before ending up at Chicago’s Shedd Aquarium.

The team of conservation experts and veterinarians are now tasked with teaching the little pup basic survival skills, such as finding food, grooming, and as the video adorably demonstrates, learning how to swim. No word on if they are teaching the pup how to play any musical instruments.

“As an organization dedicated to marine mammal care and conservation, we were perfectly positioned to ensure that this little pup had a home, providing the long-term care needed to survive,” said Shedd’s vice president of animal collections, Tim Binder, via press release.

According to Mashable, “Pup 681″ is “part of a threatened Southern sea otter subspecies that generally dwells off the coast of central California.” However, the central California otter population is reportedly making gains of about 5% to 6% per year. Hopefully, the little pup can join the population when she’s ready.

In the meantime, it sounds like the little pup is in good hands. Although it’s probably low on Shedd’s priority list, the aquarium should definitely give the otter a better name. Like Daisy. She kind of looks like a Daisy.

BabyOtter Rescued baby sea otter learning to swim will melt the coldest of hearts

source: Mashable

06 Nov 17:03

Ticket to Cheat

by Etrigan
Ticket to Ride is a board game about trains. Specifically, it's about connecting cities by claiming sections of track via matching cards of the same color (or symbol, to give a little help to the color-blind). The game (published by Days of Wonder) is quite popular, having sold many hundreds of thousands of copies, and it's won a ton of awards, including the prestigious Spiel des Jahres (Game of the Year) and the first Diana Jones award given to a board game*. There was even a world championship held this year to celebrate the game's tenth anniversary, featuring 25,000 players who were whittled down to 28 national champions (well, two from "North America," that is, the U.S.) for the finals in Issy-les-Moulineaux, France. The finals were broadcast over the Internet on Tric Trac TV -- which is how the cheating in the final match was discovered.

The initially crowned champion Erwin Pauelsen of the Netherlands didn't use steroids or even computer assistance. He simply took two extra turns, and not only did his fatigued opponent miss them, but so did the referee. It was a Days of Wonder forum user who pointed out the error (a situation that also occurs in professional golf from time to time). When confronted by DOW, Pauelsen admitted to cheating and surrendered his title to Kenneth Heilfron of the U.S.

* -- Or the only one, if you consider Dominion, a card game, to not be a board game.
06 Nov 17:03

Only 1 College in the United States Offers a Bagpiping Major

by John Farrier


(Photo of a Chicago PD piper by Jamie McCaffrey)

If you want to gauge the sorry state of higher education in the United States, this statistic tells you everything you need to know: there is only 1 college in the entire country that offers bagpiping as an undergraduate major.

That college is Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh. The instrumental performance Bachelor of Fine Arts program includes a bagpiping option. Standing alone in the breach is one man: Professor Andrew Carlisle. He teaches the bagpiping classes as well as supervises the three or so students majoring in that noble instrument at Carnegie Mellon. Carlisle teaches them in a designated bagpipe room, which is soundproofed for reasons that I do not understand.

-via Marilyn Terrell, who enjoys depressing me.

06 Nov 17:01

I am not familiar with what a spirit animal is or does.

by almostmanda
How did the concept of the spiritual guide leap from Native American tradition to Internet irony? With the help of Tumblr, the Times, and Samuel L. Jackson. Your Spirit Animal: An Investigation
06 Nov 16:48

Animals Wearing Party Hats Having a Party

by Miss Cellania

Redditor Rcrowley32 said, “My daughter had a very specific birthday cake request 'animals wearing birthday hats, having a party'. I think I managed to pull it off.” The birthday girl also asked for strawberry cake with whipped cream frosting, so that’s exactly what she got. It’s a serious challenge to fulfill such specific requests, but mothers get a lot of satisfaction from accomplishing it. These are some real party animals!

05 Nov 23:56

EVERYTHING IS A KITTY

by The Whelk
05 Nov 23:53

Cuestionariou: O Hematocrítico

by Ricardo Mena
Snob

Isto -> DESASTRE.

O Botafumeiro rachando cos tópicos. Sempre se dixo que os galegos non sabíamos se íamos ou víñamos e que non éramos quen de decidirnos por unha cousa ou a outra. Para amosar que iso non é certo sometemos ó noso Cuestionariou ó gurú das redes sociais O Hematocrítico.

- Es máis de carne ou de peixe?
Doce doce carne

- Slip ou boxer?
Boxer

- Monarquía ou república? (ou outras opcións…)
The Purge

- A túa red social favorita?
Twitter

- Cal sería a túa cidade ideal para vivir (real ou de ficción?)
Nunca estiven, pero teño mitificado Toronto. É como unha urbe mitolóxica. Toronto. Toronto.

- Que libro ou cómic estás lendo agora mesmo?
Agora mesmo estou intentando mastigar o primeiro volume de tres dunha biografía dos Beatles de casi mil páxinas o tomo. Nin tan mal.

Teño “Marvel Unlimited” e doulle bastante. Ando moi metido na saga mutante actual. Todos os X. Men do Mundo.

- Cal é o teu libro ou cómic favorito de todos os tempos?
O meu libro preferido é “Groucho máis eu”. O meu cómic preferido é “The Ultimates” de Millar

- Que disco estás escoitando ultimamente?
Ultimamente escoito moito, outra vez, vai por fases, The Lonely Island.

- Cal é o teu disco favorito de todos os tempos?
O meu disco preferido de todos os tempos é calquera de Os Beatles e unha playlist que me mola de Kanye West

- A que persoa admiras?
A Stephen Colbert. Pareceme o mellor cómico que vin na miña vida.

- Fixeches algunha vez o Camiño de Santiago?
NON

- Deixarán os políticos algunha vez de tomarnos o pelo?
Claro. Nas guerras da gasolina de Mad Max que nos esperan.

05 Nov 23:14

I want to post something, I don't know what

by Parp
05 Nov 23:11

NOFX’s Fat Mike kicks a fan in the face

by Alex Moore
NOFX’s Fat Mike kicks a fan in the face

In case all the shitty music wasn’t a good enough reason to skip that next NOFX show, the veteran punk outfit was playing a show in Australia on Wednesday when singer/ bassist Fat Mike absolutely destroyed a fan who approached him on stage with an elbow and kick in the face.

Fat Mike has always been a notorious dick. But downing a fan with a straight-up assault is pretty next-level. Apparently he had been complaining of neck pain throughout the show. He later tweeted an apology at the fan, explaining that he overreacted when the fan put an arm around his shoulder.

The best part about the whole thing? The fan is totally cool with it. After receiving the tweet from Mike he responded, “No worries.”

@FatMike_of_NOFX No worries mike, i completely forgot you mentioned your neck hurting, I was way too drunk.

— Alex. (@alexanderpeterq) November 5, 2014

Yay punk!

05 Nov 22:46

REVOLVIENDO EN LOS ARCHIVOS : LA"MANO NEGRA" EN GALICIA 1995

by NONITO PEREIRA

05 Nov 22:43

Para non perderse: Así salpica a trama Zeta ao PP

by David Lombao, Miguel Pardo

A investigación da trama Zeta está salferida de mencións a dirixentes do PP galego, partido ao que, segundo a Policía, recibiu 17.000 euros procedentes da caixa 'B' das empresas de Crespo. Repasamos as indagacións, chamadas e comunicacións que salpican a Feijóo, Negreira, Mato, Romay Beccaría e Flores.

05 Nov 21:07

Don’t understand how exactly you’re related to that first cousin, thrice removed? Here’s a chart

by Brandon Ambrosino

In September, I talked with bestselling author AJ Jacobs about his plans to throw the world's first global family reunion. Sister Sledge was right, says Jacobs: we really are family.

Jacobs insists that everyone is cousins. He's not using the word the way we usually do, in the "first-cousin" sense (i.e. your cousin is the child of your aunt or uncle). Rather, what he means by "cousin" is a person who shares a common ancestor with you. Jacobs told me the farthest apart any of us are is 50th cousins.

One of his cousins he was most excited to find out about was Ellen DeGeneres. "She's my first-cousin-once-removed's-husband's-seventh-great-aunt's-eighth-great-niece. So there you go. Practically my sister."

But really, what is a once-removed or an eighth-great relative? How do you even track degrees of separation from a common ancestor? Can I maybe get a chart?

Actually, yes, reader, you can get a chart. Here you go.

Ancestor chart

(Flowing Data)

Here's how you use the chart, according to the website that designed it: "Figure out the common ancestor between two relatives. Then select the relationship of the first relative to the common ancestor in the top row. Move down to the row that corresponds to the relationship of the second person to the common ancestor. The result is the relationship of the second person to the first."

05 Nov 21:04

The insane, sexist history and feminist triumphs of Captain Marvel

by Alex Abad-Santos

In 1980, Carol Danvers was part of perhaps the most irresponsible story Marvel Comics has ever put to paper. The plot involved kidnapping, inter-dimensional roofies, and rape, and it ended with Danvers riding off into the sunset with her rapist as her Avengers teammates wiped away tears of joy.

Today, however, Carol Danvers is Captain Marvel, a feminist icon in her self-titled comic book. And in 2018, she is going to be Marvel's first female superhero since 2005 to have her own movie.

Danvers' rise through the Marvel-sphere is, in many ways, the story of women in comics in miniature. And it starts where those stories often started: with the woman as an admiring, leggy love interest.

The Girlfriend

Marvel Super-heroes no. 13 (Marvel)

Carol Danvers makes her first appearance in Marvel's Super-heroes no. 13, published in 1968. Written by Roy Thomas and drawn by Gene Conlan, Danvers is ostensibly a security officer at NASA's Cape Kennedy Space Center, but in actuality, she's primarily introduced as a "girl" who, to Captain Mar-Vell, a man who's actually a Kree alien, is as stunning as the heavily guarded aircraft.

"And, indeed, even the shock-resistant senses of Captain Mar-Vell are stunned by the awesome sight they behold," Thomas writes, comparing Danvers to a vehicle. It's a fossilized example of the comic book industry's archaic view of women, a view that was too often applied to Danvers.

Black Widow's first appearance (Marvel)

Danvers wasn't the only superheroine marginalized in her first appearance. Jean Grey, an original X-Man, was introduced five years earlier in 1963 as Marvel Girl. Susan Storm, a member of the Fantastic Four, was introduced in 1961 as the Invisible Girl. And Black Widow, the only female Avenger to make it to the big screen so far, was just a "gorgeous new menace" in a dress (no costume) in her debut in 1964.

Comics have long been a mirror of American society. The ways women were introduced on the pages reflect how women were seen at the time. Grey and Storm were considered the weakest components of their teams and were bailed out often by their husbands and boyfriends. Black Widow, meanwhile, was a Russian femme fatale and thorn in Iron Man's side. Women were either there to play damsel in distress or to lure men into sexual temptation.

Danvers's primary role, despite being a NASA security chief and former Air Force officer, was to be a love interest. She was a supporting character, a trope really, who had a thing for Captain Mar-Vell but was harsher to his alter ego, Dr. Walter Lawson — a little bit like Superman's Lois Lane:

(Marvel)

Extraordinary things were being done on the pages of Marvel comic books during the 1960s. Men built suits that could fly like planes. Some tapped into the mysteries of the universe with magic. One scaled buildings like a spider. Those things just weren't being done by women. Despite all this imagination and a realm of infinite possibilities, comic book writers, when it came to women, were still constrained by the shackles of real life and the social attitudes of the time.

Carol Danvers was used as a love interest for a long while — not unlike other female characters at the time. And though she's playing a stagnant role, it's an important one. It sets up the rest of her journey throughout the years.

2. A PSA for women's liberation

Ms. Marvel no. 1 (Marvel)

In 1970, Captain Mar-Vell's solo book was canceled, spelling a brief hiatus for Danvers. But the comic book industry was changing without her. The twin effects of the Civil Rights and women's liberation movements began making their mark in the minds of comic book writers and artists during the mid '60s. The comics and storylines created in this period — lasting into much of the '70s — were inclusive and empowering but often skewed toward heavy-handed prescriptivism. Sean Howe, author of Marvel Comics: the Untold Story explains:

The low-selling Captain America became Captain America and the Falcon, and the new African-American costar began warily dating, and debating, a shrill black militant named Leila. The Avengers tackled women's lib, the Sub-Mariner addressed ecological concerns, and the Incredible Hulk, Thor, and the Inhumans visited the ghetto. Where was the fun in that?

Carol Danvers was not exempt from this. She re-emerged in Ms. Marvel no. 1 in 1977, sporting the ability to fly, enhanced strength, a pre-cognitive "seventh sense," and a short, feathered bob. In that first comic book, writer Gerry Conway offers constant reminders that this woman is tough as nails:

Ms. Marvel no. 1 (Marvel)

Yet Ms. Marvel wasn't exactly breaking molds. Her powers fell into traditional superhero lore, and were similar to those initially borne by Superman. Ms. Marvel wasn't so much presenting an alternative to the patriarchy as she was embodying its ideals.

That may have had something to do with who was writing her. Conway isn't always great at expressing what he thinks about female characters. In 2013, when speaking at a Television Critics Association press tour panel, he said that "comics follow society. They don't lead society."

His work on Ms. Marvel and his treatment of Carol Danvers reflected that. The biggest conceit in the first issues of Ms. Marvel was that Danvers had no idea she was Ms. Marvel. Danvers would get a headache, then come to without any knowledge of the heroic stunts she just performed.

In short, Danvers was a bystander in her own comic.

But even though Conway had a tendency to be ham-fisted with Danvers, he did touch on aspects of Danvers's life as a career-oriented woman. She was frequently pitted against her boss, Jonah Jameson, who wanted to fill his women's magazine with empty-calorie fluff that he believed women "wanted":

Ms. Marvel no. 1 (Marvel)

In that first issue of Ms. Marvel, Conway broached the topics of equal pay, women in journalism, the topics women cover in journalism, "having it all," and balancing a love life with a career, all issues that remain topics of discussion 37 years on.

Though Danvers delivered strong, positive messages about how American society should treat women, the spirit of the character was missing. At times it felt as though she was a vessel for a public service announcement, rather than a unique character with the agency or autonomy that male superheroes routinely possessed. And the moments where she did something that truly defined her character were scant.

How men write women, and the rape of Ms. Marvel

Avenger no. 200 (Marvel)

In the years that followed, thanks to a push from legendary comics writer Chris Claremont, Danvers became a respectable and important character.

Under Claremont, Danvers's origin story was fleshed out — she was in an explosion that gave her Kree abilities — and she began appearing with teams like the Defenders and Avengers and heroes like Spider-Man. Claremont connected her previously disjointed two lives. Danvers held her own. She was confident. She was written as an actual person.

Her peers started becoming powerful and respected as well. Grey went from Marvel Girl to the Phoenix, one of the most powerful entities in the Marvel Universe. Storm was on her path to becoming the Invisible Woman (who would go on to arguably be the most powerful member of the Fantastic Four). And Black Widow finally had a costume and widow-like weaponry.

These breakthroughs would prove short-lived.

In 1980's Avengers no. 200, Danvers finds out she's seven months pregnant with a baby, despite not being pregnant the day before. Strange, father-less pregnancies aren't exactly anything to get up in arms over (see: the Bible). But as James Shooter, Marvel's editor-in-chief and lead writer on Avengers no. 200, would reveal, a villain named Marcus Immortus kidnapped Danvers against her will. Then, with the aid of machines, he more or less roofied her, impregnated her with a version of himself, and had her memory wiped:

(Marvel)

Carol Strickland, a comics historian who wrote the brilliant essay,"The Rape of Ms. Marvel", points out that George Pérez's art just adds to the fecklessness of this issue.

"The artwork goes to great lengths — two close-up panels — to show Ms. Marvel's ecstasy during the pseudo-mating," Strickland wrote. "Another lesson to be learned from comics. It's okay to rape. Women enjoy rape."

Danvers's tale of cosmic kidnapping and rape gets worse. When she finds out the details of Marcus's plan, Danvers is angry. And she's frustrated that the other Avengers  — many of whom are really happy this baby is being born — cannot grasp the concept that she's been, in her own words, "used":

(Marvel)

As Strickland points out, this flash of anger is well-done. It's how you responsibly handle a scene like this in comic books, how you indicate that a character has been abused and violated against her will. However, later in the book, all this this anger is taken away from Danvers. She feels a soft-spot for Marcus and returns with him to his dimension:

(Marvel)

This sudden change in Danvers's demeanor doesn't strike Earth's mightiest heroes as weird, even though they've heard her tale of brainwashing and rape. Her sudden shift in personality, even after acknowledging that some of it might be due to Marcus's inter-dimensional roofie machines, doesn't elicit any response from her friends or any attempt to talk her out of accompanying Marcus home. Instead, they let their compatriot walk into the sunset, and hope everything works out for the best:

(Marvel)

This is perhaps the darkest moment in Danvers's history, even though the writing doesn't mean it to be. Danvers's fellow Avengers aren't written to be callous. The issue wasn't as scrutinized at the time as it is now — Strickland writes that she received negative feedback and was attacked after writing her essay in January of 1980.

The handling of Danvers's rape is a symptom of a male-dominated industry. There were no checks and balances, no other voices at Marvel. It was only a matter of time before that kind of story would be published, let alone published in a milestone issue of a comic. Claremont, who was responsible for writing Danvers and letting her flourish, was aghast.

"If that had been the point David [Michelinie; one of the writers of the book] was trying to make, that these other Avengers are callous boors, okay then, I may disagree with the point, but if he followed through on it, it would have made sense," Claremont wrote in The X-Men Companion II. "But it seemed to me, looking at the story, looking at the following story, that he was going for: 'This is how you respond to a pregnancy.'"

The power of Chris Claremont and the rise of Binary

Uncanny X-Men #164 (Marvel)

Up until the mid '80s, the conversation surrounding Danvers's character had been more about what happened to her than about what she did on paper. She had too often been a character who was acted upon, rather than a character who acted.This changed with Chris Claremont's second run on the character.

Claremont, a graduate of Bard College, studied political theory and acting in school before interning at Marvel. His interest in political theory was evident when he began writing at the company full time. The clearest example is Claremont's crystallization of Magneto's motivations, showing how his religion and his background as a Holocaust survivor shaped his world view. These elements became fundamental to the character and were always alluded to, if not outright depicted, in the X-Men films.

Claremont was interested in scooping out the guts and marrow of each of his characters to make sense of them. He was paired with the editor Louise "Weezy" Simonson, who created the villain known as Apocalypse. Simonson was one of the few women working in comics at the time and remains a friend of Claremont's to this day. Dave Cockrum, Marvel's ringer at imagining new characters like Storm and Nightcrawler, costumes, and translating the spirit of science-fiction to comics was Claremont's trusted artist.

The three combined to make Uncanny X-Men legendary. And they also combined to give Danvers a new start. Claremont, disgusted with the way Ms. Marvel was treated, wrote a scathing scene in Avengers Annual no. 10 in which Danvers rips into the Avengers for not being there for her and sending her off into another dimension with her rapist:

(Marvel)

Claremont continued Carol's journey in Uncanny X-Men no. 164, where he amplified her powers and gave her a new identity as the cosmic entity Binary. As Binary, Danvers could rip through space at light speed and tap into cosmic energies. Along with these powers, Claremont and his team gave Danvers a dream and the power to realize that dream:

Uncanny X-Men no.164 (Marvel)

The X-Men wanted Carol to join the team. But she had other plans.

"Returning with you means rejecting my heart's desire, but fulfilling that desire means leaving everyone, everything I love. Earth was Carol Danvers' home ... but I fear it has no place for Binary," she tells the X-Men, rejecting their offer of membership and simultaneously raising the stakes about important the dream of exploration is to her.

(Marvel)

Danvers would eventually return to Earth under the alias Warbird, a shell of her cosmic self. The bright presence of Binary was dimmed figuratively, and literally, as Danvers's uniform was swapped for a black leotard. Experiencing burnout and depression from her powers and not being able to continue with her dream, Danvers, under the writing of Kurt Busiek, battled alcoholism, ultimately ending with her suspension from the team.

Though this was another nadir for Danvers, it was handled differently. We see her act out, lash out, and really express how she misses the power she had. It's dark, but it defines her.

Becoming Captain Marvel

Captain Marvel #1 (Marvel)

In 2005, Marvel introduced its House of M/ Decimation crossover event. In that series, the Scarlet Witch warps reality, creating a new world based on the hopes and desires of the world's most powerful heroes. In this alternate reality, Danvers is the most famous hero in the world and operates under the title Captain Marvelthe name of her first comic book love interest.

It's one of the more revealing peeks at Danvers's unbridled ambition.

Though that world is a brittle fantasy, Captain Marvel becomes a reality for Danvers in 2012, under the wing of writer Kelly Sue DeConnick. In the first arc of Captain Marvel, DeConnick brings clarity to the character's messy plots and complicated history and focuses each issue on different aspects of Danvers's time in the Air Force, her dreams of exploring space, and what the title Captain Marvel means to her.

In the final chapter of the arc, Captain Marvel no. 6, Carol is traveling through time and is presented with the option to alter the Marvel timestream and live her life as a civilian, or sit passively and watch an explosion give her the powers she never asked for. It's a poetic move by DeConnick, and it gives Danvers agency, freeing her from a Forrest Gump-ish history where things would merely happen to her as an innocent bystander. DeConnick finally gives Danvers a choice:

Captain Marvel no. 6 (Marvel)

DeConnick's Danvers isn't perfect. She's controlling, stubborn, and cocky. She's also selfless, hilarious, and loyal. It would be tempting, considering Danvers's history, to set her up as an avenging angel. But DeConnick is patient and makes her Danvers struggle for each victory. Watching Danvers trade in her leotard for her space captain uniform, and set the pages of artist Dexter Soy's shadowy, stylish world on fire is a fun ride.

Captain Marvel vol.8 no.1 (Marvel)

In the second volume of Captain Marvel, DeConnick spells out what Claremont hinted at. Claremont crystallized Danvers's dreams of exploration. But DeConnick underlines them — and makes clear all Danvers must leave behind: her romantic interest, the people she loves, and her cat. Carol Danvers follows her dream again (and takes the cat).

Danvers doesn't go to space just because she wants to save the world. It's more than that. It's some mix of selfishness, ambition, ego, desire and selflessness. There is no guilt on Danvers's or DeConnick's part for choosing this path.

Danvers has amassed a fandom largely made up of women known as the Carol Corps. Fans, some of whom are decked out in home-stitched versions of Danvers's space captain uniform, will wait over two hours to see DeConnick speak, and when she does speak — usually words of encouragement to fans to keep their chins up — the entire room goes quiet.

"I'm always surprised at how the book comes up as being a paradigm-changer," DeConnick told me in September. "I don't think of it as that different. I just ... write the person."

DeConnick's approach to Danvers sounds simple enough. But consider for a moment the way Danvers has been presented to us throughout the years. In the '60s, she was compared to a spacecraft; the '70s were insistent on letting us know that she was a woman — and political symbol. The '80s had sent her away for her own good; the '90s saw her fall from grace. We've been waiting a long time to see this woman, this hero, as a person

Throughout DeConnick's run, Captain Marvel has been underscored by the tagline: "Higher, Further, Faster, More." It started as a declaration of Danvers's lust for life and her passion to push herself beyond her limits. With a movie lined up and DeConnick building a world of wonder for Danvers, "higher, further, faster, more" is now an expectation — and a promise of what's to come.

05 Nov 21:03

Conservative disgust > liberal disgust

by ChuckRamone
"The researchers found that conservatives tend to react more strongly to disgusting images having increased activity in regions of their brain that are involved in processing disgust and regulating emotion. The liberals, on the other hand, had increased activity in different brain regions." Study
05 Nov 20:42

Woman confesses her hatred of big penises

by Brian Abrams
Woman confesses her hatred of big penises

Attention, members of #TeamLilDick: This woman is on your side.

In a revealing confessional video diary, a loquacious woman named Monique gives several reasons for her proclivity toward members of a reasonable size — no big dicks for her! “I like to have sex and walk away from the shit,” Monique says at one point in the video. “I don’t need to be thinking about this big dick still stuck in my backbone — I ain’t got time for that.”

There are several pieces of sage dropped in the video below that explain her case for enjoying a “lil dick” versus one that would immediately kill her buzz and “sober [her] up” right when she walks out of the club.

Things we can learn from Monique, I guess.

h/t reddit

05 Nov 20:28

Watch a half-minute of Joni ‘Hog Castrator’ Ernst’s unhinged victory laugh

by Joe Veix
Watch a half-minute of Joni ‘Hog Castrator’ Ernst’s unhinged victory laugh

Joni Ernst, whose mock-folksy charm and promises to castrate everyone in Congress or something stupid like that, propelled her to victory in the Iowa midterm elections on Tuesday night.

Ernst celebrated her victory with a long acceptance speech that can best be summed up by cutting out all of the empty patriotic language, and leaving in just the unhinged laughter. We’re all doomed.

h/t NowThis

05 Nov 20:26

Remember, remember the fifth of November: A guide to Guy Fawkes Night

by Joseph Stromberg

This evening, millions of people in Great Britain (and some people elsewhere) will celebrate Guy Fawkes Night by setting off fireworks and building bonfires. Many will light effigies of Fawkes — a 17th century revolutionary — on fire.

If you're an American, this quirky, slightly violent British custom may seem pretty strange to you — not least because we don't (yet) have any holidays that make it socially acceptable to burn effigies.

Here's a guide to clear up the confusion.

What's the history of Guy Fawkes Night?

The holiday goes way back to the early 17th century, when Catholics were severely persecuted in Britain. As part a larger rift between the Catholic church and British royalty, King James I ordered all Catholic priests to leave the country in 1604, and continued the practice of fining people who didn't attend Protestant church services.

In response, a small group of Catholic dissidents plotted to kill King James, blow up the House of Lords with gunpowder, and spark a rebellion.

To that end, they stockpiled 36 barrels of gunpowder in a cellar below Parliament, in London. The plan was to light the gunpowder on November 5, 1605, when the king would be in attendance at an opening session of Parliament.

But on October 26, an anonymous letter was sent to a member of Parliament who'd been sympathetic to Catholics — the writer (who's still unknown) didn't want him to get blown up too. The member alerted the king, and authorities searched the areas near Parliament, eventually discovering a dissident named Guy Fawkes guarding the gunpowder late in the evening on November 4. Fawkes and several other co-conspirators were brought to the king, tortured, sentenced to death, then hanged, drawn, and quartered.

fawkes

An engraving showing Fawkes and other dissidents being hanged, drawn, and quartered. (National Portrait Gallery, London)

Although Fawkes wasn't the leader of the plan (that was another dissident Robert Catesby), he became the most notorious revolutionary, and the event as a whole became known as the Gunpowder Plot.

Okay, so how did this become a holiday?

In the following years, the anniversary of this plot being foiled became a celebratory state holiday, a little like our Independence Day. Initially, it was called Gunpowder Treason Day.

Over time, it became a rather festive event, with bonfires and public drinking. At times, due to various political events, it also took on a more distinctly anti-Catholic sentiment, with effigies of the Pope and other Catholic symbols getting burned. In 1677, an elaborate Pope effigy was burned with live cats in its stomach, so their cries would symbolize the sound of the devil whispering in the Pope's ear.

fawkes 2

An etching shows festivities at Windsor Castle in 1776. (Paul Sandby)

Eventually, it became more common to burn an effigy of Fawkes, rather than the Pope, and the anti-Catholic vibe was toned down a bit and replaced by nationalist sentiments. It also became common for children to collect firewood and build their own effigies, then go door to door asking neighbors for money in exchange, as part of a custom a bit like trick-or-treating.

Bonfire ceremonies often opened with a rhyming verse, which begins with a line you're probably familiar with: "Remember, remember! The fifth of November, The Gunpowder treason and plot."

What do people do now for Guy Fawkes Night?

fawkes 3

(Sam Roberts)

The holiday has declined in importance in Britain in recent years (and there certainly aren't people lighting up cat-filled Pope effigies). But lots of people and communities still have bonfire celebrations, light fireworks, and sometimes burn Fawkes effigies. It's now known as Guy Fawkes Night, or sometimes Bonfire Night.

The holiday is also celebrated in some other British Commonwealth countries, such as New Zealand, and was actually celebrated in the United States prior to the American Revolution.

Isn't Guy Fawkes a symbol for modern protestors?

Yes. Among other groups, members of Anonymous often wear stylized masks designed to look like Guy Fawkes when they appear in public, and the mask has ultimately become a symbol for Anonymous itself.

anonymous masks

(Vincent Diamante)

Masks were often put on effigies before burning. And, in the 1980s comic strip V for Vendetta, the protagonist — a vigilante fighting a future totalitarian government — wore a Fawkes mask similar to the ones frequently sold in those days. The 2006 movie adaptation of the comic raised the profile of the mask, and cemented it as a symbol of opposition to authority.

In the years since, all sorts of groups — including Anonymous, but also protestors in BahrainTurkey, and Brazil — have adopted it.