Eternals is getting mixed reviews, but I’m reasonably confident that comedian Kumail Nanjiani will be one of the movie’s biggest highlights as Kingo, the immortal superhero with the finger guns. Thanks to this new clip from the movie, in which Sersi, Ikaris, and Sprite visit the Bollywood star on the set of his newest…
OakfairyHeh, känns förbaskat bekant detta... ;)
I know it's hard to watch the way your toxic ex has rewritten history. The distorted way they talk about the time you spent together -- and what it all means now that it's over.
The post Your Toxic Ex’s Self-Deception appeared first on Poly Land.
Doctors in the UK say they’ve come across an unusual case of cancer recovery: A woman in her 80s whose lung cancer began to shrink without any conventional treatment, after she started taking daily doses of CBD/THC oil. Though it’s far from clear that the oil actually affected her tumor, the doctors argue that…
Contactless payment systems are quickly becoming an ordinary part of our daily lives. As of this week, you can even pay for subway fares with your face. Before you ask where you can sign up, this new facial recognition payment system has debuted in Russia, sparking concerns that it will be used by authorities as a…
An Australian judge may make an example of sloppy punctuation, to the tune of over $117,000 USD in legal fees. Australia: the stone-cold schoolmarm of nations, once dubbed by a reporter the “defamation capital of the world.”
När Facebooks tjänster var offline i drygt sex timmar häromdagen fick Telegram 70 miljoner nya användare, något som meddelats av utvecklarens vd Pavel Durov.
Telegram hade strax över 500 miljoner användare i början av året, så en utökning med 70 miljoner är betydande. I en undersökning på Swedroid i våras svarade bara tre procent att de främst skickar meddelanden med Telegram.
Populäraste sättet var Facebook Messenger, följt av SMS och WhatsApp. Meddelandetjänsten Signal, med fokus på integritet och säkerhet, fick även fler nya användare än normalt under Facebooks haveri.
Signal meddelade inte några siffror, men sa att ”miljoner nya människor” skaffade tjänsten.
While Game of Thrones’ sprawling cast of characters were all chiefly concerned with the events of the world that were playing out in real time, fans of George RR Martin’s books and the projects adapted from it have always understood that the actual story being told in A Song of Ice and Fire actually reaches much, much…
Last week, the Wall Street Journal published internal research from Facebook showing that the social media company knows precisely how toxic its own product is for the people who use it. But tonight, we learned how the Journal obtained those documents: A whistleblower named Frances Haugen, who spoke with CBS News’ 60…
In the wake of The Mandalordian’s Gina Carano being dismissed from the show after posting anti-Semitic memes, spreading election conspiracy theories, and mocking the usage of pronouns, Star Wars fans wasted no time speculating who might replace the actress if her character, Cara Dune, was going to return to the series…
Here’s an ominous sign of the times: Alongside other more mundane data like traffic, satellite, transit maps, and tree cover, fire will now be one of the top layers in Google Maps
An exhaustive analysis of the controversial Vinland Map has shown it to be a 20th-century forgery.
OnePlus har berättat att nästa års telefoner kommer köra ett nytt, förenat system – en sammanslagning av OxygenOS och ColorOS. Befintliga modeller kommer få det nya systemet i och med nästa års Androiduppdatering.
Huruvida spekulationen från i somras att OxygenOS kommer försvinna på sikt stämmer eller inte är dock något oklart i skrivande stund. Kanske kommer namnet ”OxygenOS” fortfarande användas för OnePlus-telefoner, eller så försvinner varumärket i och med det nya systemet.
OxygenOS och ColorOS har samma kodbas redan från och med Android 12. Nästa år kommer alltså systemen förenas ytterligare, för att som OnePlus beskriver saken, erbjuda det bästa av två världar.
Tillverkaren har samtidigt meddelat att de inte kommer släppa någon T-modell i år, något som ett rykte hävdade i juli.
By combining our software resources to focus on one unified and upgraded operating system for both OnePlus and OPPO devices globally, we will combine the strengths from both into one even more powerful OS: the fast and smooth, burdenless experience of OxygenOS, and the stability and rich features of ColorOS.
Enligt en undersökning av YouGov och AppsFlyer kollar en tredjedel av svenskarna telefonen minst 50 gånger om dagen. Detta ska vara ett mer frekvent användande än i något annat nordiskt land.
I åldersgruppen 18–29 angav över hälften att de kollar mobilen minst 50 gånger varje dag, medan en femtedel i samma åldersgrupp plockade upp telefonen minst 100 gånger om dagen.
Enligt undersökningen använder människor över 60 år smartphones i mindre utsträckning, då endast 6 % i den gruppen angav att de kollar mobilen minst 50 gånger om dagen. Uppgifterna baseras på intervjuer med 1011 vuxna svenskar i maj.
Hela rapporten går att ta del av här.
TRIGGER WARNING: ABUSE.
I saw this image a few days ago and WOW it hit me so hard. This is how my shitty, manipulative, narcissist parents talked to me for my entire childhood, whenever I told her I didn’t want to go on auditions, or he made me cry with his relentless bullying: you’re always twisting things, you’re so dramatic, stop feeling sorry for yourself, don’t be so sensitive. The piece of shit who was my father loved to frustrate me until I began to cry. Then he’d holler “Okay, cut!” like I was on the set, before he unloaded mocking laughter at me. He was such a fucking bully to me, and I never deserved it.
If you didn’t live with gaslighting (you are so lucky. I hope you appreciate how lucky you are), it may be tough to understand how crazy this sort of thing made me feel, and why, at 49 years old, I can still feel in my heart and my soul every single time they did this to me, like I’m a helpless child all over again.
It’s like they made a choice, at some point in my childhood, that I would not get the unconditional love they gave my brother and sister. Nothing I did was good enough for the man who was my father, and the only thing my mother cared about was how many auditions I booked. What did I care about? What did I like? How did I feel about … anything? It just didn’t matter, and it was probably stupid.
I didn’t understand it, and it hurt so much. And whenever I tried to talk to them about it (no child should have to figure out how to express to their parents that they feel unloved), the gaslighting would come out: you’re always twisting things, you’re so dramatic, stop feeling sorry for yourself, don’t be so sensitive.
I feel like it started around third or fourth grade, around the time I started working a lot in commercials and then movies (again: not my choice. It was never my choice). I wonder if he resented the time and attention my mother gave me? I wonder if she enjoyed making him … I don’t know, jealous of his own kid? Everything was a passive aggressive power struggle with them, so maybe. I do know that I never saw him treat another person with the cruelty and contempt he showed for me. It wasn’t until Stand By Me, though, that the man who was my father began physically abusing me, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me while he made this enraged growling sound I’ll never be able to unhear. When Star Trek happened, it got even worse. That was when he started screaming at me that I was a “dumb little fuck” in front of my friends. I was painfully aware of how much my dad didn’t like me, because he made no effort to hide it. I mean, anyone with a pulse could have seen it. And nobody stepped in to protect me. My mother just pretended none of it happened, going so far as to make me apologize to him after he jabbed me in the chest while he screamed at me about some fucking thing I didn’t even do, and I just exploded in grief and fear and yelled back at him.
After literally years — I’m talking decades — of trying to talk with them, trying to meet them somewhere in the middle of “that never happened” and “this absolutely happened and this is how it made me feel”, I made the incredibly difficult choice to end contact with my abusers a few years ago.
It sucks, and it hurts, all the time. But having no parents is better than having my parents. And that also sucks.
Over forty years after I became aware of it, it still hurts like it all just happened. I know how it feels to have a huge black hole in your heart where a parent’s love ought to be. I know what it’s like to have nobody to call when something cool happens, or when something awful happens and you need mom and dad to make it better. (I am so grateful for my Star Trek family. Without them, I very likely would have ended up a statistic.)
But I also know that I never did anything wrong. I know that it’s not my fault. I didn’t deserve it. I was ALWAYS enough. He hates me because he hates himself. I have to remind myself about that more often than anyone should have to, but I know what’s real, and I know that I’m not twisting things, being dramatic, feeling sorry for myself, or being too sensitive.
If you recognize any of this gaslighting from your own life, I want you to know that I see you. I believe you. I’m so sorry. I know how it feels. I know how it makes us feel crazy. I know how it makes us question our own lived experience, how it makes us doubt what we know to be true, because it happened to us.
I am here to tell you that you are enough. That WE are enough. It’s not us. It was never us. It was always them.
Until recently, Autumn Johnson thought that criticizing utilities that were putting more dirty energy on the grid was all in a day’s work. “As an environmentalist, it is my job to be calling attention to doubling down on fossil fuels when we’re in the midst of a climate crisis,” she said.
So I’m downstairs, making breakfast for me and the boys.
This is an elaborate and arcane process. It involves more wandering in and out of rooms than you might expect, and trying to remember what I meant to do there. Plus a fair amount of esoteric behavior like looking for a spoon that I’m sure I was just holding…. but it’s not here anymore. Was I holding it? Is this a Matrix thing? Was it some sort of fucking magical elf-spoon?
(It was not a magical elf-spoon. Alas.)
Some of the reason for this is because part of the breakfast I’m preparing is coffee (for me, not the boys). And that means I haven’t yet had my coffee. And that means that daddy needs his medicine. And by medicine I mean the literal drug that I literally take because I want all that ergogenic mojo all up in my headbrains and bodymeats. And by daddy I mean literally me. Because I am that.
(Who’s your parasocial daddy?)
I can’t blame it all on coffee though. Some of it is just me being groggy. And some of it is me thinking about everything at once, like I do. And part of it is probably some of the ADHD (though I still never know how much to point the finger at that, as I’m still knew to that diagnosis. And it seems unfair to lay *all* my disorganized bullshit at the feet of that particular acronym.)
Nevertheless, as I walk past the end-table, hunting elusive faerie cutlery, I see my little pill-box thing.
First I have to figure out what fucking day it is. And yeah. It’s Thursday. But if it’s Thursday, why are there still pills in the little Thursday pill home? But I’m pretty sure that I remember taking my meds this morning. That’s why the pill thing is here, right? Because I carried it downstairs when I was getting ready to take the pills….
But the pills are still in there.
So I look at this thing, and I say, “I don’t know if I took my meds already.”
I have to make something clear here, I’m not talking to myself. But at the same time, I’m not really asking my kids for advice on this, either. Because while I value their thoughts and feelings, they shouldn’t be making certain decisions. They’re 7 and 11 years old, respectively. They’re wise beyond their years and off-the-charts articulate, but *I’m* the one who needs to fucking figure out whether I’ve taken my meds.
But why am I saying this out loud then? I honestly don’t know. I do tend to process things out loud more often when the boys are around. Maybe that’s how we’re wired as primates, to talk around our children so we can model our decision making process.
Anyway, whatever the reason, I’m talking it through, saying, “Do I risk missing my meds entirely, or do I risk doubling up on my meds? If I double up, will that make me really scattered, or will I be Super Productive today…?”
Without missing a beat or breaking stride, Oot walks behind me and asks casually, “What’s the LD-50?”
I turn to look at him, not quite sure what I just heard. He’s doing something at the sink now. “Did you just ask me about the LD-50?” I ask.
He turns to look at me, nodding. He’s not above showboating. He likes being clever. And if there’s a pedantry gene, he has it (and he got it from me) but right now he’s not doing that. Or if he is doing it, he’s gone next level and has realized the value of the slow-play. Maybe he’s learning that less is more…
Either way, he’s just looking at me with vague curiosity in his big, serious eyes, as if he can’t understand why my tone would be incredulous. As if he doesn’t know why I would be impressed that he remembered the concept of LD-50. Something I didn’t learn about until my junior year of college. Something I’m pretty sure I only mentioned once to my boys a couple months ago, probably when I was dosing Cutie with antibiotics during a recent deeply shitty medial adventure.
“Yeah,” he says.
And I just start to laugh. I go over and hug him, laughing. And I keep laughing uncontrollably for at least a solid minute.
I know I’ve laughed in surprise before. (That’s one of the big theories about laughter, actually. Some folks believe true laughter, [Duchenne laughter] only erupts as a symptom. It’s the result of a sort cognitive fuse being blown when we experience something that goes contrary to our expectations. The cognitive and neurophysiological roots of laughter is one of the many odd rabbit holes of research I’ve gone down over the years, as I used to consider myself a bit of a humorist. But that, as they say, is a blog for a different day…)
Anyway. I’m laughing. And while part of this *is* surprise. It’s also just joy. I don’t remember laughing out of real joy before I became a dad. It’s been happening a fair amount this last year as these boys continue to startle me with their kindness and honesty. They startle me by actually remembering things I’ve told them. And not just remembering. They actually understand and internalize and make use of this stuff, too….
You might wonder why this surprises me. I mean, why on earth would I be dadding so hard if not to this exact purpose? Why would I be spending so much time and energy trying to teach them stuff, if not so they would learn it?
And… yeah. I mean. Of course. That’s the dream.
But if I’ve learned anything over the last decade, is that you can care a lot, and work really hard, and do your level best… and in the end all you get for your trouble is double therapy and trouble sleeping at night. So these days I fight to keep my expectations modest. It’s the whole Buddhist thing: Taṇhā leads to dukkha. Desire causes suffering. Hope is the highwire without which you need not fear a fall.
So I try not to hope too much for the boys. The world is hard enough, and life is heavy enough. They don’t need my expectations weighing them down. I just try to take them as they come and enjoy them for who they are.
But oh it’s hard. These boys, they’re pretty great.
It occurs to me that I sat down to tell a cute (if slightly braggy) story about my kids, and it’s turned into something else. I can’t be surprised at that, though. Most people think that writing is just expressing what you already think or feel. It’s transcription. It’s explanation. I used to think that, too, way back in the day. But not for decades. Now I know better. For me, writing is almost always a process of exploration and discovery. Not always, but often.
You want to know the *real* truth? I originally started to write this little story as a *tweet* and instead it turned into a thousand word maunder where the upshot is that I’m surprised my boys actually listen to me. In some ways that doesn’t seem like much. Hardly worth the work or words.
But on the other hand, what’s better than your kids listening to you and then turning around and reminding you of what you’ve shared? What more could I hope for?
And there we are gain. Back at hope. And hope, you see, is a hell of a drug, and while that doesn’t make hope bad, it does make it dangerous. Maybe it’s just that way for me though. Maybe I have hope sensitivity. Or whatever the hope-appropriate version of drug-intolerance is. Maybe it’s that when it comes to hope, the Effective Dose is way too close to the Lethal Dose for me.
But these boys. I tell you. They are such a wonder and a delight. And so, despite myself sometimes, I hope.
pat
Facebook planted its privacy flag on WhatsApp, the end-to-end encrypted messaging service which Facebook can’t spy on. In a 2018 Senate hearing, Mark Zuckerberg stated unequivocally that “we don’t see any of the content in WhatsApp, it’s fully encrypted.” Today, upon opening the app, a privacy policy and ToS update…
I ett led för att göra bland annat mobiltelefoner och surfplattor mer hållbara samt för minska mängden elektronikavfall arbetar EU-kommissionen för närvarande på ett förslag som kan leda till att högre krav kommer ställas på tillverkarna. I förslaget ingår bland annat ett krav om att tillhandahålla uppdateringar såväl som reservdelar i fem års tid.
Enligt en talesperson från Tysklands finansministerium (via Heise) finns ett önskemål om att ta det steget längre för specifikt surfplattor och telefoner. Tyskland vill se en utökning av förslaget med ytterligare två år för dessa enhetstyper, vilket innebär att tillverkare som Samsung, Xiaomi och Apple förväntas förse enheter med uppdateringar och reservdelar i totalt sju år.
Branschorganisationen DigitalEurope, som bland annat representerar Samsung, Apple och Huawei, tycker att förslaget är för långtgående. I stället föreslås en kompromiss med upp till två års funktionsuppdateringar samt tre års säkerhetsuppdateringar. Organisationen ogillar även kravet på reservdelar och föreslår att det begränsas till att omfatta endast displayer och batterier, eftersom komponenter som kameror, mikrofoner och högtalare påstås sällan gå sönder.
Bland telefontillverkarna finns det för närvarande stora skillnader kring hur många nya modeller som introduceras på årlig basis. Bland annat Xiaomi och Samsung presenterar årligen långt fler modeller än exempelvis Sony. Om varje modell ska underhållas under sju års tid kommer kostnaderna rimligtvis att stiga, vilket skulle kunna leda till att tiden mellan prodyktcykler ökar samt att produktportföljerna krymper. Prissättningen kan också komma att påverkas.
