Thompson Counseling Services

Shared posts

24 Feb 20:25

Stop Comparing Yourself To Others: What You Should Do Instead

by Jon
How am I doing in life? Am I living my best life? Am I making the best choices? Am I having the best experiences? It’s natural for all of us to ask ourselves those questions and it’s natural for us to look around at our peers and compare ourselves.

Comparing Yourself To Others Impacts Your Mental Health

We are all too familiar with the phenomenon of social media and its impact on our mindset to compare ourselves. Even if we see something we aren’t interested in we have still engaged in a comparison. What happens when we see something we want for ourselves that we haven’t yet attained or worry we won’t ever attain? Then what do we do? Anxiety will creep in and begin to trigger us with the nagging thoughts of doubt: “I saw my old college roommate just received a promotion – where’s my career going?” “My neighbors got a new car, should I be replacing mine?” “My ex just got engaged, I’m still single – what’s wrong with me?”

When we find ourselves questioning and comparing ourselves we can ask ourselves, “Wait, who should I be comparing myself to?” The answer is YOURSELF.

Use Yourself As A Benchmark For Growth

One of my favorite sayings is; “Me, compared to me, I’m doing pretty good.” This always reminds us how far we’ve come, what our own unique journey in life has been for us and what goals are most important to us at this time in our lives. This way, when we see something that someone else has attained or experienced, we can take it as a source of inspiration or as a source of confirming what’s important for us.

For example, a college roommate getting the promotion can be a source of inspiration; “Wow, good for them. They took the time to learn new skills and it paid off. I can do that too once I’m ready to dedicate the time.” Your neighbor getting a new car can reaffirm what’s important to you; “Wow, good for them, but I’m happy not having a car payment because I’m investing in other dreams right now.” Even with an ex getting engaged can help with seeing how far we’ve come in our own healing and emotional growth.

When you compare yourself to others you will always come up short and never be good enough because, well it’s simple math. There are millions of people and just as many areas to compare. When we stay focused on ourselves we have our own singular journey to help remind us how far we have come, the obstacles we have overcome, the joys, success along the way, and the goals that are important to us.

24 Feb 20:25

How Anxiety Therapy Helps Teens

by melissa

Anxiety therapy can be highly beneficial for teenagers who are struggling with anxiety. Here are some ways in which anxiety therapy can help teens:

  1. Understanding and Education: Anxiety therapy helps teens gain a better understanding of anxiety, its causes, and how it affects them. Therapists can educate them about the physiological and psychological aspects of anxiety, normalizing their experiences, and reducing the stigma associated with it.
  2. Identifying Triggers: Therapy provides a safe space for teenagers to explore and identify their specific triggers and stressors. Therapists can help them recognize the situations, thoughts, or emotions that contribute to their anxiety. This self-awareness is crucial for developing effective coping strategies.
  3. Developing Coping Skills: Anxiety therapy equips teens with a variety of coping skills and techniques to manage their anxiety. These may include deep breathing exercises, mindfulness techniques, relaxation techniques, cognitive restructuring (challenging negative thoughts), and problem-solving skills. By learning and practicing these strategies, teens can gain a sense of control over their anxiety.
  4. Setting Realistic Goals: Therapy helps teens set realistic and achievable goals for managing anxiety. The therapist can work with them to break down overwhelming tasks into smaller, manageable steps, empowering them to make progress and build self-confidence.
  5. Addressing Underlying Issues: Anxiety can sometimes be a symptom of underlying issues such as trauma, low self-esteem, perfectionism, or family problems. Therapy provides an opportunity to explore these underlying factors and address them effectively, which can lead to long-term improvement in anxiety symptoms.
  6. Building Support Networks: Anxiety therapy can assist teenagers in developing a support network of friends, family, or peer groups who understand and can provide support during difficult times. Therapists may also involve parents or caregivers in the therapy process, teaching them ways to support their teen’s anxiety management.
  7. Enhancing Communication Skills: Effective communication is vital for expressing feelings and concerns, seeking support, and setting boundaries. Anxiety therapy helps teenagers improve their communication skills, enabling them to articulate their needs and emotions more effectively.
  8. Managing Avoidance Behaviors: Anxiety can often lead to avoidance behaviors, where teens avoid certain situations or activities that trigger their anxiety. Therapy helps them
  9. Relapse Prevention: Anxiety therapy aims to equip teens with skills to prevent relapses and manage potential setbacks. Therapists work with them to create a relapse prevention plan, develop resilience, and recognize warning signs of increasing anxiety.
 

It’s important to note that anxiety therapy approaches may vary depending on the individual and the specific therapeutic approach used. A qualified mental health professional can assess a teenager’s needs and tailor the therapy accordingly to ensure the most effective outcomes.

 

24 Feb 20:25

How to Overcome Your Desire to Be Perfect While Surrounded by Social Media

by melissa

Comparison is human nature. It is a way to find commonalities among peers, to learn from one another, and to motivate progress and potential. In some ways, it can be a means to define yourself or gauge how you are doing. 

When it comes to social media, comparison can take a sideways turn and become a detrimental factor. Content is in your face 24/7 and paints a false narrative of reality. Comparison can drive this need to be perfect or create a feeling of failure.

In today’s society, being able to separate social media from a true reality is massively important. Here are ways to overcome a desire, or need, to be perfect where social media is a life constant.

No One is Perfect

There is no such thing as perfect. Period. 

The perfect picture, posting, video, content, and life do not exist. What you see online is not reality. The sooner you gain an understanding of that idea, the better off you’ll be. Whatever your engagement with social media is, the word perfect can be a dangerous thing.

Being able to let go of the idea that others are perfect and you need to reach some unrealistic benchmark will take you a long way. Even if there is a perfect moment, that is subjective, but also not possible one hundred percent of the time. 

Learn About Your Beliefs

Part of overcoming the need to be perfect is to understand why you have that desire in the first place. Figure out what drives your need for perfectionism and what triggers it. 

Oftentimes, the cause can go further back than you might think. You may have been conditioned from certain circumstances, which now can’t necessarily be changed. With some work though, you can learn to work through them and reduce the pull it has on you. 

Lower the Pressure on Yourself

As a rule, you will always be the toughest critic of yourself. No one will critique you quite like you do. Realizing there is no such thing as perfect will allow you to lower the pressure you place on yourself. Perfectionism is a fast lane to feeling inadequate.

Practice accepting yourself for who you are and what you bring to the table. Your life journey is your own. You don’t need to be a carbon copy of what you see online, nor do you have to be able to accomplish everything you see influencers do. Happiness isn’t found in perfectionism or someone else’s story. 

Surround Yourself with Imperfect People

Keep people in your circle who are real and own their imperfection. Engage with social media profiles and content that also share this principle. Your time is valuable, so use it to interact with people who add value to your life. 

Surrounding yourself with those who appear to be perfect or have no problems in life will only fuel the perfectionism fire. It sets unrealistic standards and will hold space in your brain, even if you’ve accepted perfect isn’t a thing. 

Focus on the Meaning

Who actually cares if you do something imperfectly? Odds are, most people aren’t going to notice at the end of the day. 

Place more focus on things that hold meaning to you and inspire you. Life is about trying, failing, and learning from mistakes. The journey is in the process, not so much the end result.

Seek Out Therapy

Perfectionism can lead to a hefty amount of anxiety if not controlled. With the constant of social media everywhere you turn, and at all hours of the day, it can be hard to control this desire or need.  Therapy is always an option to help you reach a deeper understanding of the why, but also how to manage through it. 

We’re here to help. Contact us to schedule a consultation today for anxiety therapy.

24 Feb 20:25

4 Common Signs of Seasonal Depression

by melissa

Unless you live in a few select places in the world, season changes are a part of life. You can’t stop them.

If the change in the weather gives you the blues, you’re not alone. Roughly five percent of adults suffer from seasonal depression, also known as seasonal affective disorder. 

Symptoms of seasonal depression may vary somewhat from those of your more typical depression. Here are four common signs to consider if you believe you are suffering from seasonal depression. 

Sleep Pattern Changes

The connection between depression and sleep is very strong. People who struggle with depression oftentimes experience trouble sleeping. On another hand, people who battle insomnia are also at a high risk for developing depression.

Typically with depression, you may notice sleep disturbances that coincide with your moods and depression cycle. Troubles in the sleep area tend to be a consistent factor as long as your depression is present.

With seasonal depression, however, sleep changes may look a little different. With the change in season, you may notice abrupt changes in your sleep schedule that remain until the next season change. 

With winter seasonal depression, you may find yourself craving sleep. If not sleep, then at least the comfort of your bed. Oversleeping, or hypersomnia, is a very common symptom.

If you suffer from a more summer specific seasonal depression, you may experience difficulty sleeping. Insomnia can be triggered by nothing other than the summertime setting in. No matter how tired you are, your bed and sleep are the last thing you feel like doing.  

Low Energy

When you battle seasonal depression, your day to day activities don’t just come to a screeching halt. Nothing about you, your life, or your schedule has changed, but yet you find it difficult to muster up any energy to do any of it. 

Whether it’s mundane tasks like getting dressed and making that morning coffee or actives that you generally enjoy like shopping or hitting the gym, every bit of it takes a lot of effort. When you do find yourself able to partake in the cumbersome tasks, you’re likely not in the best of moods while doing them either.

Appetite Changes

With either form of seasonal depression, you’re likely to experience a shift in your eating habits. Winter-specific seasonal depression can cause overeating with a special craving for carbohydrate rich foods. There’s not a lot of activity in the winter season like there would be in the spring or summer.

Sure, there are the holidays, but they are short lived and can also cause a roller coaster of a high that plummets to a low for the remainder of the season. Holidays can trigger overeating of heavier, comfort foods and desserts. The reduced activity during this time can also create an easy road to over-snacking. 

The summer specific seasonal depression on the other hand can cause a poor appetite. Your schedule is more likely to have on-the-go activities which can deter from food focus. Plus, the heat during the summer can have an effect on your appetite as well. Reduced cravings for food and poor food intake can lead to malnourishment and fuel the low energy component. 

Behavior Changes

The changing of the seasons can push your pendulum strongly to one end or the other. You may not have any other reason to explain it other than the weather outside. 

During the wintertime, you may notice more withdrawal from activities regardless of your love for them. The overwhelm of sadness can take its toll and cause you to want to hibernate. During the summertime, you might find yourself to be overly snappy and increasingly irritable. 

While there isn’t a way to prevent seasonal depression from developing, you can be proactive in combating your seasonal depression symptoms. Consult us today to discuss how depression therapy could benefit you.

24 Feb 20:25

What Can I Do to Help My Teen with Anxiety?

by melissa

Anxiety is a normal part of life. For teenagers, it can be an extremely difficult thing to deal with considering the amount of change that goes along with the adolescent years. 

Anxiety can be triggered by schoolwork, life stressors, or absolutely nothing at all. Your brain is complex and generally good at protecting you from many things that can be considered harmful. Unfortunately, it can be known to get it wrong. 

Everyone will experience some level of anxiety during their lifetime. One in five teens will navigate dealing with anxiety issues. Thankfully, anxiety is relatively easy to manage with coping strategies. The following are ways you can suggest to your teen for manage their anxiety.

Model Healthy Coping Skills

As mentioned, everyone will experience anxiety at times. Your teen likely looks up to you and observes how you navigate the world. It’s important to check in with your own habits and behaviors. Understanding your triggers and responses will allow you to have a better handle on the flags they may be giving off.

Listen and Reassure

Anxiety comes from a place of fear and perceived lack of control. Be mindful not to aggravate or fuel their anxiety by asking a lot of questions. You may not be able to get to the bottom of their mood. They need to share that with you on their own accord.

Listen when they need a helpful ear. Reassure them that you are there for support and guidance. 

Practicing Mindfulness

The goal of mindfulness is to bring an improved connection between mind and body. It teaches your brain to stay in the present moment rather than focusing on future fears or uncontrollable matters taking place. Anxiety stems from stress and worrying, so being able to remain in the present moment can go a long way.

Mindfulness can also improve focus and concentration, skills that are translatable to schoolwork. Maintaining, or even improving school performance, can reduce stress levels and in turn feelings of anxiety.

Aside from that, mindfulness has proven scientific benefits for the structure of the brain. Your teen may look to you for advice, encouragement, or guidance. The mind wanders easier than it focuses, after all. Research techniques or different apps so you can steer them in the right direction.

Daily Exercise

You won’t find a research study that doesn’t encourage exercise as a tool to combat mental health woes. Exercise has an abundance of positive effects for the mind and body. Exercise helps with the release of endorphins to give a natural mood boost.

The beauty of exercise is that it can be most anything that will get the heart rate elevated. What works for one person may not work for the next, so it’s important to find what works for you (or your teen in this instance). Whether it’s walking, yoga, swimming, or more vigorous activity…the possibilities are there! Offer to join your teen for an added accountability element.

Proper Nutrition

Your gut health can actually tie in to your mental health. The microbes in your GI tract send signals to the brain that ultimately control (or at least heavily influence) your mood and behavior. Think about the teenage diet. It usually consists of sugars, sodas, processed foods, and fast foods as major food groups.

Consuming too much processed food or too little of foods rich in nutritional content, your gut becomes unbalanced. As the parent, you can set healthy eating goals and meal routines to encourage a more balanced diet. Buy healthy snacks and ditch the processed, boxed goods when able. 

At the end of the day, unhealthy eating is going to happen. Reassure them that there is nothing wrong with this either. Don’t let that ever be an anxiety trigger.

Professional Treatment

When coping mechanisms fall short, there is always an option for professional services. If your teen is struggling, contact us to learn more about teen counseling.

24 Feb 20:24

Healing from Childhood Trauma? — Here Are Some Useful Strategies

by melissa

Any type of trauma can leave a lasting emotional wound. Unless those memories and emotions are fully processed as they are happening, which as a child is highly unlikely, they weave their way into your mind and your body. 

It becomes a part of your daily energy, operating in the subconscious or unconscious level. It will interfere on some level or to some degree until it is opened up and processed. 

Trauma related emotions like anger, shame, fear, and sadness are painful and those negative emotions are things people naturally want to ignore. Unfortunately, those suppressed emotions pack away and become a road block in future experiences. 

Being able to feel those feelings and process through them is the key to healing from whatever your childhood trauma is. Here are some helpful strategies to try on your journey.

Acknowledgement of the Trauma

Childhood trauma victims are more likely to spend effort and time dismissing their situation and pretending like it never happened. That option feels easier than accepting the truth.

The first step, however, in any healing process is to acknowledge and own what happened to you. Trying to avoid it or push those feelings away will only serve to harm you in the long run. Healing starts in acceptance of the event and understanding that you were not responsible for what happened to you.

Work with Your Feelings

Take back control! Reclaiming control of your feelings can break the cycle that happens and causes that victim feeling. When you’re able to work with your feelings, you will no longer be controlled by your past. 

One common way to manage your feelings is journaling about them. Sitting and spending time with your feelings can be helpful in processing them. Meditation is another method to focus on a single emotion and gain more awareness on how it intertwines with your life.

Find Support in Others

After a traumatic event, or when you become triggered as an aftereffect of a childhood trauma, it’s natural to pull away from people. Whether you feel alone or ashamed, don’t turn away from your support system. 

Part of your healing journey is to connect with others. This doesn’t mean you have to share your entire story or even talk about it at all. Just interacting with others can help you heal. Lean on your social circle, your family, and your friends. Find a support group who has an understanding of what you may be going through.

At the end of the day, use people and interactions to build you up and boost your mood. Isolating will only lead to depression and more negative outcomes.

Exercise 

Physical movement has been proven to help alleviate symptoms of mental health conditions. Exercise can provide a distraction when you need it, work out any anxious feelings you may be having, and keep your body in a healthy condition. There’s also the release of endorphins, or those feel good hormones, to help fight off negative energy. 

Whether you enjoy exercise or not, don’t shy away from some form of physical movement. Go for a run, take a walk around your neighborhood, swim, bike, practice yoga, roller skate…you have options to get your body moving. 

Practice Self-Care

Taking care of your health is important in being able to manage your stress and any negative emotions. Create daily routines for sleep and proper nutrition. Without rest and fuel, your mind and body will have a harder time processing through your trauma. 

Self-care is about taking action to do things that help your overall situation. Avoid recreational substances that can counteract your healing. Alcohol and drugs will inhibit your ability to process through your feelings. 

Seek Help

If you’re on a healing journey from your past trauma, finding the right help can also be key. Feel free to contact us to explore how trauma therapy can help you.