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31 Dec 03:36

Cold to end 2025, warm to begin 2026. Also, our first look at Houston Marathon weather

by Eric Berger

In brief: Houston is quite chilly this morning, and we’re dropping down another notch tonight. But following this we’ll be solidly on a warming trend heading into the new year. This weekend looks quite pleasant. Also, we take a peek at what weather might be like for the Houston Marathon.

Freeze line

Temperatures are comfortably above freezing this morning across the Houston metro area, but what about tonight? We are going to see ideal conditions for heat to radiate back into space this evening, including clear skies and light winds. This will bring a light freeze into the Houston region. My sense is that urbanized parts of Houston and coastal areas will remain just above 32 degrees, but that inland areas and outlying suburbs, such as Katy, probably will briefly freeze tonight. Essentially, if you experienced freezing conditions back on Dec. 15, there is a decent chance you will again tonight. These temperatures are not cold enough to affect pipes or anything like that, but do take care of sensitive plants and pets.

Low temperature forecast for Wednesday morning. (Weather Bell)

Tuesday

We are going to see solid sunshine today (and most of the week). This will allow highs to warm into the 50s today, with light northerly winds, before our chilly night tonight.

New Year’s Eve

After a cold start, expect highs in the mid-60s on Wednesday with sunny skies. Light winds will turn west, and then southwest over the course of the day and evening. We have no weather concerns for the New Year’s Eve holiday aside from chilly temperatures during the evening, likely dropping into the 40s by the time we ring in the new year.

New Year’s Day

With a southerly flow in place we’ll see a warmer day to start 2026, with highs in the lower 70s. As moisture levels creep up, we may see a few more clouds in the sky, although I expect plenty of sunshine. Lows on Thursday night will be warmer, perhaps dropping only into the lower 60s.

Temperature forecast for midnight, as the clock strikes 2026. (Weather Bell)

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday

Friday looks downright warm with highs in the lower 80s and sunshine. The weekend should be a bit cooler (although there is still some uncertainty here) as a modest front pushes down from the northwest. For now let’s go with highs in the 70s and lows in the 50s, with mostly sunny skies. Really, it looks to be like ideal weather for most outdoor activities.

Next week and the Houston Marathon

The first half of next week looks to be rather warm for January, with highs likely in the vicinity of the upper 70s and nights perhaps in the upper 50s. If you’ve been wondering about rain chances, those start to pick up around Wednesday or Thursday. That’s not to say rain is likely, but it does appear to be possible.

If you’re planning to run the Houston Half or Full Marathon, then you’re keenly interested in conditions for Sunday, January 11. I just completed my final long run early on Monday, so my body is (mostly) ready. What about the weather? I’m afraid the forecast is still pretty uncertain at this point. It’s possible that a weak-ish front arrives by Wednesday or Thursday of next week (bringing some rain), but depending on the timing of this front I think we might see a warming trend by Friday or Saturday. In that case we need another front to bring temperatures down for Sunday. This appears to be possible, although not certain.

My best guess is for low temperatures in the 50s on Sunday morning, with highs rising to the 60s. In terms of wind and rain, that is going to be depend heavily on whether we get that second front to drop temperatures for the marathon. In summary: there’s just not much clarity yet on running conditions. When there is, I will definitely let you know.

31 Dec 03:35

To Cirrhosis With Love

by The Onion Staff

The post To Cirrhosis With Love appeared first on The Onion.

31 Dec 02:28

Canada names Mark Carney ‘2025 Man Of The Year Unless Anyone Better Comes Along’

by Ian MacIntyre

“I know we’ve had many pictures of Mark Carney on our website… but I’m not entirely sure I could pick him out of a lineup.” Hit the bricks, you stupid year! Ian and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, and in the guest chair for the first time, Luke Gordon Field) discuss the top 5 stories of […]

The post Canada names Mark Carney ‘2025 Man Of The Year Unless Anyone Better Comes Along’ appeared first on The Beaverton.

30 Dec 14:52

update: my boss and I share an office with a volatile jerk

by Ask a Manager

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

Remember the letter-writer whose boss (Ned) and she shared an office with a volatile jerk (Peter)? Here’s the update.

After my letter was published, I spoke to Ned and told him I would not be assisting Peter further, which he fully supported. I started referring Peter to his adult children for assistance, which left him huffy but he stopped bothering me. He also began spending more and more time away from the office and out of state, “working” on their joint venture.

As for Peter and Ned, their business relationship has ended and their personal relationship is slowly untangling. It was an explosive conclusion that ended in a company bankruptcy, home foreclosure, and other items that left Ned’s finances in ruin. Unfortunately everything was in his name for various (in my opinion bogus) reasons that left Peter getting off practically scot-free. People in the comments wanted to know if they were romantically involved and that was not the case. They owned a duplex, and when funds for their business venture became tight they decided to share one half and rent out the other.

After the home foreclosure, Peter has left the office and in fact left the state entirely! It has been about eight months since he made that permanent transition. Their project failed (though Peter is convinced he can revive it, Ned has stepped away 100%). Ned now lives on his own in a quiet apartment that he is very happy to have to himself. We are back to focusing on his business, and the office is a different place. We are both happy and relaxed and have a great working relationship. Ned does not talk about his personal life with me much but I have noticed friends and family rally around him now that Peter is gone and he seems so happy and full of life, including taking some time of work. Prior to this, I could count the days he took off on one hand over five years, but now he is taking some much needed time for himself.

As for me, I am taking on more complex and varied tasks and thriving. Don’t worry, Ned is compensating me fairly for the increased work and responsibilities and has expressed a desire to make sure I have contact with others in our field, as he is getting older and wants to make sure I have adequate contacts and transferable skills for the future.

Peter is still moving files and equipment out of the office and will be here for one week in January, but the limited contact and the fact that he is failing has really cowed him and given me the ability to tolerate him in small doses, knowing he is going to be out of my life permanently very soon.

Thank you and all the commenters for your advice. I know a lot of it was to leave, but I am happy I stuck it out.

The post update: my boss and I share an office with a volatile jerk appeared first on Ask a Manager.

30 Dec 14:38

Uh… huh… yeah, I think I would.

Uh… huh… yeah, I think I would.

30 Dec 14:38

Oh, Dr. Forrester…

Oh, Dr. Forrester…

30 Dec 14:37

Images Of National Parks Replaced With Trump’s Face On Annual Passes

by The Onion Staff

The Interior Department announced plans to replace a picturesque image of Glacier National Park on the 2026 “America the Beautiful” pass with President Trump’s face, prompting a lawsuit from an environmental group. What do you think?

“At least we know the national parks will be around for one more year.”

Patrick Tirel, Systems Analyst

“What’s nature without Donald Trump glaring at you?”

Curtis Hoy, Maritime Reporter

“Have you seen his centerfold in the IRS Tax Guide?”

Sue Gettys, Ant Researcher

The post Images Of National Parks Replaced With Trump’s Face On Annual Passes appeared first on The Onion.

30 Dec 14:36

Usha Vance Forces Smile After Unwrapping Another Bible For Christmas

by The Onion Staff

WASHINGTON—In response to her husband Vice President JD Vance beaming with excitement as she opened his Christmas gift to her, second lady Usha Vance reportedly forced a smile Thursday after unwrapping another Bible. “Oh, wow, another King James Bible, you shouldn’t have,” said Vance, placing the Christian religious text on a large stack of Old and New Testament translations her significant other had given her over the years. “I have some Vedas I’ve been meaning to read first, but I can’t wait to get to all of these Bibles soon. Oh, and it comes with a rosary. Yay.” At press time, Vance expressed some relief that it was another Bible and not “another fucking copy of Hillbilly Elegy.”



The post Usha Vance Forces Smile After Unwrapping Another Bible For Christmas appeared first on The Onion.

30 Dec 14:35

Tech Billionaires Threaten To Flee California Over Proposed Vest Tax 

by The Onion Staff

SAN FRANCISCO—Citing a right to keep their torsos sheathed in windproof synthetic fabrics, tech billionaires were reportedly threatening to flee California on Monday over a proposed statewide vest tax. “If the legislature passes this measure, you can bet that countless entrepreneurs and venture capitalists are going to pack their bags and move their gilet collections to Texas,” said tax advisor Aaron Faucher, who confirmed that several of his clients, including Larry Page and Peter Thiel, had already begun transferring garment bags to states more friendly to billionaire wardrobes. “Will they be sweatier wearing their insulated vests down in the Austin heat? Yes. But they earned that $300 Arc’teryx vest, and they’re not going to let some radical socialist take it away from them. The sweat stains will be worth it.” Faucher went on to say that billionaires’ vests had created thousands of dry-cleaning jobs in California.

The post Tech Billionaires Threaten To Flee California Over Proposed Vest Tax  appeared first on The Onion.

30 Dec 14:35

Health Speculations Swirl As Trump Seen With Damage Numbers Above Head

by The Onion Staff

WASHINGTON—Amid ongoing concerns over the aging president’s medical status, health speculations reportedly swirled Monday after President Donald Trump was seen with damage numbers above his head. “Recent photos of Trump appear to show him sustaining a series of double- and triple-digit damage values during a press event, fueling rumors that his hit-point pool may be rapidly dwindling,” said medical analyst Rebecca Benson, adding that several smaller numbers in purple, red, and light blue indicated that Trump had taken recurring damage from untreated poison, fire, and frost status effects. “These damage numbers contradict official White House claims that Trump has been running a completely hitless second term, and several larger numbers with exclamation points after them seem to confirm suspicions that Trump is suffering from critical damage multipliers. In a man of his age, even low-grade chip damage can be run ending, let alone the base 9999 damage value if Trump’s hidden ‘stroke’ status bar fills completely. Skilled doctors have struggled to outheal that kind of burst damage even in a tankier president like Gerald Ford.” At press time, Trump had taken to social media to deny that the damage numbers were his and claim that the Last Chance perk seen in one of the photos had actually been activated by an aide standing behind him.

The post Health Speculations Swirl As Trump Seen With Damage Numbers Above Head appeared first on The Onion.

30 Dec 14:34

Disney Licenses Characters For Use On OpenAI Video Generator

by The Onion Staff

Disney announced it will license over 200 Disney, Marvel, Pixar, and Star Wars characters for use on OpenAI’s Sora video-generating platform, with the deal also including a $1 billion investment in the AI company. What do you think?

“Now I’ll never know whether I’m talking to the real Scrooge McDuck or not.”

Orlando Cromer, Figurine Displayer

“This is gonna put so many talking cars out of work.”

Loretta Berkowitz, Unemployed

“It’s crazy to pay $1 billion when the Times Square Mickey Mouse will do absolutely anything you want for $5.”

Zain Fredrickson, Professional Panelist

The post Disney Licenses Characters For Use On OpenAI Video Generator appeared first on The Onion.

30 Dec 14:33

Back to reality for a couple days, but 2026 is likely to begin on a warm note too

by Matt Lanza

In brief: Houston is back to more classic December fare today, with low clouds, a gusty wind, and temps in the 40s. We’ll have a couple chilly nights tonight and tomorrow night before we make yet another run toward 80 by Friday. New Year’s plans look delightful, with no weather concerns at all right now.

Whew! It feels quite different outside this morning. Here’s a map of our 24-hour temperature changes.

Temperatures are currently 15-25 degrees colder than Sunday morning across the area. (Pivotal Weather)

This is our first morning in the 40s since December 20th. In that stretch, we’ve had 8 days in the 80s and 1 day near 80 (79° on Christmas Eve). Only 2012 and 2021 saw more 80-degree December days. We also set or tied 6 record highs in that stretch, hitting 84° on Sunday, our 2nd warmest December day on record. But that’s done for now. And so we discuss cool temperatures.

Today and Tuesday

That wind is going to remain with us most of this morning. By afternoon, it will begin to wind down, though it’ll remain a bit breezy. Gusts have been north of 50 mph at Hooks Airport in Tomball and in Galveston, 48 mph at Hobby, and 40 mph at Bush. Temperatures won’t go very far today. If the low clouds can clear out this afternoon, we’ll attempt to get into the low-50s as the models suggest. If the low clouds stay put, I may be apt to undercut model guidance and say we limp into the upper-40s at best.

Tonight will be cold, and there is a chance that a few spots get down around the freezing mark. It will probably just be the Conroes and isolated pockets in the Brazos Valleys of the world that get there thanks to a continued breeze and continued clouds. But either way, expect 30s away from the coast, a few low 30s north and west and 40 to low 40s at the coast. Tomorrow night will be a bit colder.

Tuesday looks splendid with sunshine developing. We should easily push into the 50s with lighter winds. Thanks to those clear skies and lighter winds, Tuesday night should be a bit colder than tonight.

Wednesday morning forecast low temperatures. (Pivotal Weather)

Expect more 30s area-wide and a chance of a light freeze creeping closer than Conroe, perhaps in some of the more wooded areas in Montgomery, Liberty, and northern Harris Counties or isolated rural pockets of Fort Bend and Wharton Counties.

New Year’s Eve & New Year’s Day

We start to turn the corner Wednesday back upward into the 60s. Thursday may even push close to or past 70 degrees. For most NYE festivities on Wednesday, it looks great: Sunny and pleasant for the kiddos celebrating Noon Years and clear skies, light winds, and evening temps in the 50s, dropping into the 40s around or after Midnight. Enjoy!

Friday into the weekend

Temperatures should peak on Friday, as we’ll make yet another run toward 80 degrees. It’s probably notable that most of the area has not seen any appreciable rainfall since the beginning of December, which likely isn’t hurting these temps at all.

Friday looks toasty. Again. (Pivotal Weather)

Whatever the case, the forecast trends a bit less confident beyond Friday, with some models indicating a bit of a small cool down, while others say Friday won’t be our last attempt to hit 80 degrees. Stay tuned.

30 Dec 14:33

#Kento #Cye #Rowen #RoninWarriors

30 Dec 14:32

High Altitude Cooking Instructions

1,300,000-1,400,000 ft: Ask a crew member to show you how to use the ISS food warmer.
30 Dec 14:32

Platonic Advertising

by Corey Mohler
PERSON: " "

PERSON: "What is it Plato?"

PERSON: "Purchase these superior quality olives at a discount price!"

PERSON: "Plato, come on, leave us alone, we are just trying to do some advertising work here..."

PERSON: "The people don't want your beautiful lies! they want the truth about olives, the people yearn for philosophy olives!"

PERSON: "Get your olives! Get your olives! They are imperfect manifestations of the ideal olive, which exists purely in the realm of ideas!"

PERSON: "Right, wisdom and virtue, yeah..."

PERSON: "To create an ideal society based on wisdom and virtue?"

PERSON: "There is only one solution."
30 Dec 14:31

DNA Test

by Alvaro Montoro

comic strip with two panels showing two characters. The first one says 'I took one of those DNA tests that tells you about your ancestry.' The other character replies 'Oh, really? How did it go?' The first one answers 'I am 50% CSS, 40% HTML, and 8% JavaScript...' and whispers '...and 2% tailwind...'

29 Dec 10:16

Boy, that… wasn’t close.

Boy, that… wasn’t close.

29 Dec 10:15

Researchers discover rare breed of Canadian tuxedo cat

by Alix Markman

GUELPH, ON – The scientific community celebrated a groundbreaking discovery this week, with researchers uncovering the existence of a Canadian tuxedo cat. The feline in question, whom researchers have officially dubbed Sample 501 and unofficially named Levi, has a coat made of head-to-tail blue denim. Neurological testing did not reflect any connection to the single […]

The post Researchers discover rare breed of Canadian tuxedo cat appeared first on The Beaverton.

29 Dec 10:15

Slinky tired of bending over backwards for your entertainment

by Taryn Parrish

CHICAGO, IL – Last Friday, after being pushed down an escalator and forced to perform for hours on end, Slinky reached its breaking point. “I’m tired of bending over backwards for you people!” it shouted. “And I’m tired of bending over forwards too!” The beloved spring toy, a staple in the industry since 1945, has […]

The post Slinky tired of bending over backwards for your entertainment appeared first on The Beaverton.

29 Dec 10:14

Awkward Zombie - Warm Wishes

by tech@thehiveworks.com

New comic!

Today's News:

I for one can't wait to meet the god of boots.

29 Dec 10:11

Part 3.20

Part 3.20
28 Dec 16:24

#Ryo #RoninWarriors

28 Dec 16:24

Dancing? Don't that strike you as a bit strange...

Dancing? Don't that strike you as a bit strange? #CowboyWho

28 Dec 16:23

'Having Kids Vs Child Free: What's the Right Choice?' | Post Mortem Stream

by Philosophy Tube

Talking about the latest episode of the show, how it was made and what the feedback was!
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/PhilosophyTube
Nebula: https://go.nebula.tv/philosophytube

There Are Many Different Kinds of Love, Brethren Arise, Candlepower, Cylinder Five, God Be With You Till We Meet Again, I Am Running Down the…, I Dont See the Branches I See the Leaves, I Want to Fall in Love on Snapchat, Out of the Skies Under the Earth, Take off and Shoot A Zero, The House Glows with Almost No Help, There Are Many Different Kinds of Love, all by Chris Zabriskie are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/...)
Source: http://chriszabriskie.com/vendaface/
Artist: http://chriszabriskie.com/
27 Dec 21:50

Sounds like an awful wild goose chase. But I'm ...

Sounds like an awful wild goose chase. But I'm going to do it! #CowboyWho

27 Dec 21:49

mst3kgifs:Oh geez, I need a database.





mst3kgifs:

Oh geez, I need a database.

27 Dec 21:48

mst3kgifs: Sadly, Santa’s sleigh broke up on reentry.



mst3kgifs:

Sadly, Santa’s sleigh broke up on reentry.

27 Dec 21:48

mst3kgifs:♪ So let’s have peace on Earth and cut out all the...





mst3kgifs:

 So let’s have peace on Earth and cut out all the bull 
♪ Let’s have a holiday season that’s multicultural 

27 Dec 21:47

Well, it is his job.

mst3kgifs:

Well, it is his job.

27 Dec 21:47

mst3kgifs:I’ve been stealing your plasma at night so I didn’t...





mst3kgifs:

I’ve been stealing your plasma at night so I didn’t have to spend any of my own money.