Kate

Please, dog owners, don’t yell at me for posting this absurd dog accessory: Disco Dog is the world’s first smartphone controlled LED dog vest. Best part: If the dog walks too far away from you the ‘lost dog mode’ is activated.

Watch the Kickstarter Video to see all the DISCO modes you can choose.

Friend of the blog Deborah mentioned this to us, like, six months ago and then we never did it, and then friend of the blog Alex mentioned it to us like two weeks ago and reminded us that there was some “40’s by way of the 80’s realness” (just like that one part in Xanadu) so I was like “I’m on it.”

This is the first Holodeck episode, and what happens? THE HOLODECK TRIES TO KILL EVERYONE. Of course.

First off, though, the Captain is trying to learn how to perfectly pronounce this alien language because if he doesn’t, the aliens in question will be offended and kill everyone: 

Still easier to learn than Welsh

Deanna is helping coach him in a lovely season one Mardi Gras Beads Hair Accessory:

And of course, great cleavage #respect

Why is her MGBHA red and her vagina arrow green? Who can say. Maybe it’s Christmas. Picard is having a hell of a time with these pronunciations, so D is like “take a break, why don’t you - maybe try out that new holo-deck we’ve got?” So Picard kicks it over there and discovers:

Is that mop COVERED IN BLOOD?

A perfectly art-directed 1940s private detective hallway, complete with a woman in a period-appropriate housedress/apron and mysterious stain on the wall. 

Picard is playing the role of Dixon Hill, a detective character from a series of novels who has a sassy secretary:

Computer, increase sass by 25%

This dress, which I am sure would cost $200 at this one resale store I used to go to in Williamsburg, is PRETTY on point for a 1940’s secretary. Her hair might be a liiiiiittle on the poodle side - that’s the 80’s creeping in - but overall, it is a strong to very strong look. I will be wearing this to Swing Night at my local VFW. She also wears a coat:

Oh. My. Gawd.

One time I was shopping at this charity shop in London, and I was looking at a coat, and this very old woman came up to me and WRESTED THE COAT FROM MY HANDS and said to me in what I SWEAR was a central-casting “Old Crone Who Curses You” voice: “THAT’S MY COAT. YOU’RE NOT HAVING IT. I’M HAVING IT.” Stunned, I released it, and I’m pretty sure I escaped a curse that day. 

This is all to say: this coat makes me understand how that Old Crone felt. 

Secretary (who we shan’t see again) lets “Dix” know that he’s got a lady visitor - WITH GAMS:

Putting the “gam” in “Gamma Quadrant”

That shoe is perfect. No notes for you, shoe. Take the rest of the night off. 

The damsel in distress, as it were, tells Dix/Picard (Dicard? No.) that someone is trying to kill her!! 

Turban’ it

She is wearing a very on-trend (for both the 40’s and the 80’s) turban, paired with a suit that Agent Peggy Carter might wear on a day she was 90% sure she wouldn’t have to kick anyone in the face.  

I brought my pet fursnake

The silhouette is on point, though the shoulders could stand to be a teeeeeny bit bigger, both fashion-wise and for my personal preference. I like a REAL big shoulder, y'all. But the overall look? Great.

Getttttt ittttt

I mean. The top of the turban is covered in gold sequins. This. Bitch. Can. Accessorize.

Over-the-shoulder shade

So Picard goes back to the crew and is basically like OMG GUYS THE HOLODECK THO:

DANCE WITH ME IN THE MANNER OF MY PEOPLE

Here’s the thing, though: the holodeck is sooooooooy dangerous. How dangerous? YOU’RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT. Picard suits up to return:

Oh, I wasn’t dapper enough? PROBLEM SOLVED

It’s too bad captains of starships don’t wear hats, because THIS MAN CAN WEAR A HAT. Along for the ride is Data, who is starring as Nicely-Nicely in the Enterprise’s production of Guys and Dolls:

Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, you’re rockin’ the turbolift

I like a wide-ass pinstripe, and I think a double-breasted look is nice for Data. THE SLEEVE LENGTH, though. Again and forever. Where are his cuffs?! For those gentlemen reading who don’t already know this, this is how your suit sleeves should look:

It’s from a website called Suit Society so I feel pretty confident

I honestly can’t tell if those are a real man’s hands or a rubber mannequin. Anyway - cuffs and hems are an important part of fitting a suit, menswear-wearers, and they are relatively easy to adjust. Go do it. 

Picard is like “damn, Data”:

Is that - my Data?

This guy you don’t know is a 20th century historian, which is why he looks like such a fucking nerd. (jk jk jk I love bow ties.)

Next, Picard demonstrates that a popped collar is not the exclusive milieu of douches: 

A popped trench collar > a popped polo collar

Yessssss, you work that trench.

WHAT SEASON IS THIS

Back in the holodeck, these ladies are wearing coats and hats and NO COATS from basically every possible season. That said, we are supposed to be in San Francisco, and you never really know what you’ll be getting there. #microclimates

Dick Miller: The character actor you’re never sure is Dick Miller

You have 100% seen Dick Miller in something else (most probably The Terminator or Gremlins, but possibly Amazon Women on the Moon. I don’t know your life). But he is a consummate That Guy: even when it IS him, you’re not quite sure it’s him. I promise you: this is him. And doesn’t he look fetching in this newsboy cap? A little on the nose for the newspaper kiosk guy, but appropriate nonetheless. 

I’M A COP

This guy is so obviously a cop it’s not even funny. LOOK AT HIS COP FACE. He’s sporting a GREAT jacket and a VERY jaunty hat. And he’s here to arrest Picard/Dixon for the MURDER of the gal with the gams from before. AW JEEZ.

But wait…there are…MORE GAMS???

Captain, we’ve spotted additional gams, I repeat, additional gams

And who should these straight stocking seams belong to but:

Thank you, Gene Roddenberry, for your life’s work has been leading to this moment

Bev was MADE to wear that weird-ass hat. I don’t know if I would have put this redhead in such a baby pink - I’d rather see her in a deep emerald or maybe a teal - but she’s looking fly and rocking those pearls. The lipstick is a little bright, but that might be over-remastering. Bev’s not quite sure how this whole “1940s Dame” thing works, so she takes her cues from this cutie:

I have literally never seen this many shades of pink in the same place

Dress: raspberry sorbet. Gloves: deep grapefruit. Bag: cherry sunset. Hat: strawberry surprise. Girl is a veritable fruit salad of pinks. And then those green earrings?!? That is seriously bold. I love it.

I shall learn this woman’s ways, then when the time is right - I strike

Bev has, apparently, NEVER fluffed her hair, though I find that hard to believe. I’ve seen her hair. How could she NOT fluff it?

Bev then reacts perfectly to some BOZO hitting on her:

No no no no no no no

I’m pretty sure every woman can relate to this situation. 

Never

#misandristcrusher, anyone? To go with with #hungrypicard.

I’m pretty sure that purse is a weapon.

Anyway, Picard is in the interrogation room, being GRILLED by the po-po, and he tries a cigarette for the first time:

This is actually the only anti-smoking ad I need tbh

If Picard thinks it’s gross, IT’S GROSS. 

Picard manages to get out of the interrogation room and meets Bev, who now has SHADES and a VEIL because she’s THE BEST:

LOL like anyone has ever needed sunglasses in San Francisco #SFBurn #weirdweather #microclimates

Picard, Data, Crusher, and the history nerd all go back to Picard/Dixon’s office, only to find this guy waiting:

P-p-p-put ‘em up

I know, I know, he looks too meek to shoot anyone. And he’s wearing BROWN, which is NOT a power color unless you are Worf and you ARE brown, in which case it’s the most powerful color. But even though he looks like IRL Mr. Burns as a young man, he totally SHOOTS the nerd!!

I got strawberry sauce on me

Everyone is like WTF because the holodeck is not supposed to be able to REALLY SHOOT YOU which should honestly led to them SHUTTING IT OFF FOREVER. No amount of bug fixes or software updates or patches would entice me back to a COMPUTER THAT TRIED TO KILL ME. But we all know that doesn’t happen, because eventually Broccoli goes in there and pervs out.

The boss gangster shows up with another henchman. You can tell he’s the boss because he’s got a DIFFERENT HAT: 

He already looked like a bulldog, and then they put the bowler hat on and the transformation was complete

I’m really enjoying all the ties in this episode. The big boss has sort of a stripey fan print that really pops against his desert khaki suit:

I promise there’s hair under this hat. For real

And his henchman has a VERY cool sort of watercolor thing happening:

America HURRAH

Sometimes I feel bad for men because they have so little in the way of accessories. But then I remember patriarchy and I stop feeling bad.

We also get a better look at Picard and Data’s ties here:

Hat battle, you and me, right now. Too late, I already won

Picard has a VERY strong red with a touch of a stripe, very authoritative. Data is rocking a nice pattern that I think competes a little too much with the pinstripes, but points for trying. 

Oh, btw, this whole time, there’s been a non-holodeck plot that (of course) dovetails with the holodeck plot, and for some reason Wesley is the one who needs to solve it?? So we get this:

I’m a literal child and I’m going to fix this spaceship

He tinkers with some settings and:

Well, that can’t be right

THE HOLODECK IS NOT A GOOD PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY. STOP USING IT.

Eventually, Picard tricks the murderous gangsters into trying to go outside the holodeck (??) and once they do, they disappear (????) which leads me to ALL KINDS OF QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW THE HOLODECK WORKS:

Wh-wh-whooaaaaaaa

HOW DID THEY EVEN GET OUTSIDE OF IT? WHY WOULD THIS HAPPEN? WHY DO THEY DISAPPEAR LIKE THEY ARE IN ONE OF THOSE GLITTER SWIRLING THINGS FROM SPENCER GIFTS???

In the end, though, who cares. It’s the holodeck. It’s terrible and wonderful and it lets us see the whole crew in fun clothes. WHO CARES. It gave us this:

Topics: 

• Business

Neighborhoods: 

• Boston

splitsider:

"Great comedy is truly an altruistic act. As sentimental as it sounds, I credit Bamford with reinvigorating my will to live, banishing the shame associated with mental illness, and inspiring me to continue my quest for quality mental healthcare. A therapist shared with me recently that people come through her office all the time who say that catching the next episode of their favorite show is their sole motivation to stay alive. Entertainment is not a replacement for treatment, but creativity and its expression through different mediums can make a meaningful difference. Bamford’s positive contribution to humanity through comedy is not to be underestimated."

- The Altruism of Comedy

via

makingfunofthestarks:

What if right in the middle of the Oscars

they bolted the door

and the Rains of Castamere started playing

#leonardo dicaprio sends his regards

Neighborhoods: 

• Boston

Free tagging: 

• snow

Topics: 

• Weather

Recently I discovered that a commenter here, Lauren, used to work as a professional matchmaker, and you can’t reveal that kind of info to me without me insisting on knowing more. Luckily, she graciously agreed to be interviewed, and here’s our Q&A.

How did you end up in this job? And how long were you there?

I actually applied to this position as a little joke to myself. I had quit a job the week prior with nothing lined up, and in the midst of all my serious job applications, I saw this one. Figuring it would be fun or funny to be a matchmaker (and figuring that I needed to start receiving a paycheck ASAP), I applied and got called in later that day or the next day to interview. I was there for 8 months before I left to take a job that was more in line with my career goals.

Tell us a bit about how it worked.

Potential clients would schedule an appointment with one of our Directors, who would conduct an intake interview to find out more about the client, what s/he was looking for in a match, and then determine if we had the right database of members to suit that potential client’s needs. If so, the Director would offer a membership package which was a set number of months or a set number of dates, whichever happened last, for a set fee.

As a client, your experience was different depending on whether or you were a woman or a man (we served only heterosexual clients). If you were a man, you were assigned a Coordinator (me or two of my other colleagues) and that person was your main point of contact for the duration of your membership. As a woman, we all worked together on your profile. Our goal as Coordinators was to meet a quota that all members had to go out every three weeks. So, each week, we had a list of members who were due for a date and it was imperative that we set them up and send them out.

Each morning, the Directors would sit down with the Coordinators and we’d go over the list of clients who were due for dates and discuss who would be a good match for them. Once all the matches were made, the Coordinators would take any matches that impacted the men they were assigned to and begin calling each client to give them a brief rundown about who we’d planned for them to meet, and then to find a mutually agreeable time for the date to take place.

Each afternoon, we would call the restaurants where that night’s dates were scheduled to let the hosts know to expect our clients. We developed great relationships with a handful of restaurants around the city, so the hosts or bartenders would all be familiar with the process and help facilitate the introduction. After the date, each client was expected to call us back to let us know how it went, and we’d use that feedback in making their next match.

Of course, this didn’t always work well. Our client database was heavily skewed towards women, and people could be very specific in what they were looking for to the point where we just couldn’t help them based on our clientele. Sometimes our focus on meeting our weekly quota caused us to make matches that we knew wouldn’t be great (though, sometimes these bad matches ended up going well — we even had a couple get married, even though we dreaded matching them up originally!). We had favorites and we had people whose calls we’d ignore for as long as possible. For the most part, we really wanted to do our jobs well and make our clients happy, but a lot of the process is luck and numbers and unpredictable chemistry, which we had no control over.

Why were the male clients handled differently (assigned a single coordinator) than the female clients?

Stereotypically, men have a hard time discussing personal things like feelings on dating to a wide circle. Women, again stereotypically, don’t have difficulty with this. For that reason, the men were given a specific point of contact so they felt that they were only confiding in one person who was their “champion” of sorts, and with whom they could develop a strong client relationship.

We also had three or four times the number of women in the service than men, so it was easier to keep tabs on everyone if Coordinators were responsible for tracking their assigned male clients and whichever women they were matched up with that particular week.

Fascinating. What kind of training did you get? Or were basically just expected to use the same skills that you’d use to match up your own friends?

There was no training. One of the steps in the application process was to take a test that gave the business owner (my boss) a sense of your aptitude and abilities in customer service and ability to think both logically and creatively. This test wasn’t really a good measure for any of those things, but my boss weighed it heavily and I think he felt that if you had the aptitude for those things, then you could figure the job out. The training was mostly by doing, and by following the examples set by my coworkers.

Did you think that getting no training was weird? (I can totally imagine myself at 23 not questioning that at all, and thinking that of course I was equipped to be professionally matchmaking.)

I didn’t think it was weird, and not because I thought I was already well-equipped to be a matchmaker, but because I assumed it was the type of role that was best learned by doing. I also had just left a job that was a managerial role that included no training, so I sort of felt like it was par for the course.

Did you ever find yourself setting up a match less because you thought it was a great match and more just because you had to meet that’s week’s quota?

All the time. In fact, sometimes our boss encouraged this. He was a numbers guy, and I don’t think he decided to buy a matchmaking franchise because he’s a sucker for love. He saw the profit in the business and focused on that. There was a lot of pressure on the staff to meet our numbers, sometimes at the expense of our clients’ experiences.

We did try to exhaust all possible good matches before resorting to a quota-driven match. The staff was committed to creating great matches when possible, especially because the clients were people that we developed relationships with over the course of their membership. We didn’t want them to hate our service or hate our work (or hate us personally!). But sometimes, it was inevitable.

Do you remember if any of the “quota-driven” matches worked out?

Yes! One of my favorite stories is about a client (I’ll call her Beth) who was very difficult to match. She was an older client (in her 60s) who didn’t mind being matched with older men, so long as they “didn’t look old.” We went through all of our older men who didn’t look old and then ran out of people to pair her with. There was only one man left to match her with (I’ll call him Sam) and while he was a lovely person, he definitely looked his age or older.

Inevitably, Beth came up on our list of clients who had to be matched in order for us to hit our quota, and we all got very nervous about setting her up with Sam, but we did it because we had to. Fast forward eight months later when Beth and Sam got married!

Did you ever end up doing any “coaching” for the clients — like advising them to ease up on a certain behavior, or not be such a stickler about a particular requirement in potential dates?

There were a few times when we had to have these kinds of difficult conversations regarding behavior. I remember one client who had a reputation of being very “handsy” on his dates, so my coworker had to call him up and explain that this behavior wasn’t acceptable and was partly the reason he wasn’t getting second dates with his matches.

We constantly had to have conversations about criteria for matches. This was probably the most frustrating part of the job. Clients wanted matches who were fewer than X miles from downtown, or who only liked rock-climbing, or who were fifteen years younger than them. And then they would get angry with us that we didn’t have this mythical person in our pool of clients. We had to have a lot of conversations with clients that consisted of, “What you find attractive and what I find attractive may differ, so no, there’s no way that I can only set you up with ‘hot’ people.”

With the client who had to be told to stop being so handsy with his dates, was he receptive to hearing that? Did he get better after that?

He got pretty defensive, as you might imagine. After our conversation, his behavior never improved and we actually had to ban him from the service.

Did you start to feel personally invested in your clients’ lives? I can imagine it would be easy to fall into feeling responsible for whether a match did or didn’t work out, or starting to become worried that someone was having a string of bad dates.

Oh, absolutely. With some clients, the rapport we developed was such that we started to get to know them beyond their preference for dates, and so we’d be really invested in them because we knew them as people and not just clients. We all had favorite clients and pet projects, and were particularly invested in their success.

What surprised you the most from doing this work?

I was amazed at how much confidence the clients would put in a bunch of 23-year-old women to help them find love. Some of our clients were really high-profile people, and I almost felt like I was doing a disservice to them by being their matchmaker. What did I know at 23 that these people didn’t know at 45? (The answer: Nothing. I just had access to people that they didn’t yet know.)

Did you draw any conclusions about dating that you’ve carried with you since leaving the job?

One of the things we told our clients all the time, especially when we were matching them with someone who didn’t meet their on-paper criteria, was that dating was a numbers game and that chemistry doesn’t pay attention to whether your match likes rock climbing or not. We would tell them this so that they’d just agree to suck it up and accept the match and go on the date. It turns out this is true! You can want to meet someone two years older than you, with a Master’s degree, who’s never been married before and have no kids. But you can end up falling in love with a young divorcee who has a child from a previous marriage and never went to grad school. You just have to be open to everything.

Previous interviews:
interview with an incredibly diplomatic person
interview with a lab worker at the Arctic Circle
interview with a former receptionist at a legal brothel

interview with a former professional matchmaker was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

You guys—Season 7. What a romp. I’d like to say they were all like #fuckit because they knew it was their last season but the actors were all contracted for Season 8, so I guess they were more like #fuckit because they were boss popular. (No, seriously, this episode was the 9th most popular of Star Trek EVER to air, of all the series. It carried a 12.8 rating… in comparison, Empire, the top show last week, scored a 4.4 [also if I have totally misinterpreted how Nielsen Ratings work and someone wants to correct me, please do]).

This episode starts with Worf being really Worfy, coming back from a competition that he’s DOMINATED at (because #Worf), and he gives a personal log entry that sounds like a Hemingway parody.

Actual dialogue: “The conditions were difficult. Several contenders were maimed. But I was triumphant. I won Champion Standing.” He forgot to add “It was raining.”

When he gets back to the ship, he’s super out of it but at first I didn’t get that and started fantasizing that the episode had been directed by David Lynch.

Actual dialogue: “What’s the matter, Mr. Worf?” “It’s my birthday.”

My disappointment that it was not Lynchian notwithstanding, this episode was a favorite of mine from way back when, ostensibly for its stance on quantum physics but now having re-watched it, I know it’s for another reason. We’ll get to that later.

The birthday discussion is essentially Worf being like “I don’t want a surprise party,” and Rikes being like “I HATE surprise parties” (which, like, if my Lynch theory proved true, would have been very appropriate). So Worf just waltzes into his room…

Gotta make sure my lethal trophy is positioned just right. Actually, who am I kidding, what trophy worth winning isn’t lethal?

Heads up, there’s not a toooon of fashion up in here, but there is some exciting interior decorating decisions. Can we talk about that red accent light on the shield there? And what about that statue that looks like it’s the Treehouse from Adventure Time, but in gunmetal? It looks like some sort of really advanced and oversized sex toy. I’m just saying that neither of those decisions look like ones that Worf would make. Maybe a stereotypical gay Klingon. I mean, a stereotyped gay who happened to be a Klingon. Hold on a second. [Five minutes pass] Yep, I definitely just fell into a Klingon slash fic spiral. Yikes! NSFW but this one was WHAT. Where was I? Oh right. Worf, whoever decorated that apartment has a flair for the dramatic. 

Also, of course there’s a surprise party.

The expression on his face is priceless.

A few things to notice here, from left to right. 1) Bev is SO excited that her hair is literally rising up into a Mary Tyler Moore-style flip. 2) That ensign is earning an A++ for giving it her all and making that hat work, unlike the other extra who was forced to wear a hat, over in blue on the right. 3) Who decided that what they really needed for a Klingon birthday was gold party hats with furry fringes and an oversize balloon with stars on it? At least make sure the decorations are thematically appropriate. 4) Marina Sirtis might be just genuinely having a great time. Get it.

Mooooooom.

Okay but seriously whose idea was it to have oversize star shaped balloons? Unless that thing is really shaped like a Batleth and I just can’t see it from this angle. Also in case you don’t know they are singing “For he’s a jolly good fellow” in Klingon, even though there’s no real translation for “jolly.” #getit? #klingonsbeserious

That time when Worf punched Riker in the mouth.

Also, can we talk about that CAKE? I like that it’s all urban grunge to make it clear it’s rough and manly like Worf and also made out of chocolate like… wait a second.

It’s like being brought a delicious chocolate cake by the most beautiful golden retriever.

Another accent light? And more balloons? But that cake still looks real good.

They were out of wrapping paper so I took the backdrop from the guy who was here doing school pictures. Also I found a giant bow, because I thought you’d like it.

Notice that there’s some big up hair going on in the background. I can’t say for sure that we haven’t seen this style before, but I think we can agree that she’d be much more appreciative of this gift than Worf.

What is it?

An original abstract painting by a robot? It’s only 22 years early for being the hottest new hipster collectible. Or… 355 years too late, depending on how you feel about these sorts of things.

I’m pretty sure that if you were a Klingon and a bunch of people who you weren’t related to came over to your house, scared the shit out of you and then forcibly redecorated your apartment with overzealous artwork, you would murder them and then drink their blood.

Worf gets a present from his son, Alexander.

Both a memento and also useful for storing potpourri.

It’s a head cast which is weird until you remember that people on earth bronze their baby’s shoes. 

What follows is a delightful series of Picard facial expressions.

Mmmm…

Did you make this?

*Increase Picard Charm Setting to 100%*

*Increase Picard Charm Setting to 110%*

Additionally in this series, the two extras who are behind Picard. Ah, the classic timeless story of butch lesbian meets high fem girl, butch lesbian thinks she’s totally gonna score with high fem girl, high fem girl demurely but firmly explains that she’s “not into her that way,” butch lesbian finishes cake awkwardly while high fem girl takes a big sip of her cocktail.

Also you guys the BALLOONS. What was this party planning session like? “I think we should have some balloons.” “How many?” “Oh, like, thirty.” “What size?” “I mean, I guess really fucking big.” “Okay, color?” “Well, it’s for Worf, so… pink.”

And, of course, another accent light on the weapons. Maybe Worf is worried no one will notice the weapons on the wall if they’re not drenched in the red blood light of his enemies.

Okay, so Fast Forward to later when Worf gets dizzy and some weird shit starts happening so he goes to see Beverly and she’s like “when did it start” and he was like “when I returned victorious” and she was like, “Girl, you did not return victorious” and then they went to his quarters where Data’s hideous painting was in the background, but his first place trophy was gone.

Death blades on trophies are for closers, Worf.

This is what a ninth place trophy looks like. What kind of competition gives out ninth place trophies? YOU LOST, WORF.

Okay, so, and then, Cardassians for a second.

This is less a chestpiece and more a shoulders, nips and crotchpiece. I mean. I guess it works.

I mean, that’s it really.

This next bit is probably the most fashiony we get.

I asked for turn-down service on my BED not on my DRESS.

We’ve seen this dress before in Season 3, but where in that episode, where Troi was wearing the dress, here it’s more like the dress is wearing her. Don’t get me wrong: long sleeves and bare shoulders is still working for me, but the waistseam doesn’t need to be so obviouspants but whatever. 

The best thing about this outfit/hair combo is that it gives us a lot of good soap opera/romance novel screengrabs.

We have fun.

Worf’s painting also changes.

Is Worf a thirteen-year-old human boy from 1992? No? Then this is not appropriate.

It seems to me that this would be the equivalent of giving an oversize painting of a Zero bomber to a Japanese-American soldier who just finished fighting in Europe. #tacky Nice nebula though.

The anxious side-eye, weirdly, is for Worf, and not for the painting.

This is another one of those sudden changes that happen to Worf, and the first thing he notices is Deanna’s hair. Then her dress. I’m surprised he didn’t say “Your blush tones have shifted!”

And then suddenly Worf finds himself on a space bridge. I mean, spacier than the normal bridge.

You know what this bridge needs: a headlight right above the captain’s chair.

Shit is gettin’ cray but YOU AIN’T SEEN NOTHING YET. Worf is all discombobulated from this crazy shifts in time and space and so he relieves himself of duty and goes to his quarters and Deanna drops by to see how he’s doing.

Although in this dress it’s more like “How YOU doin’…”

This is a familiar piece from at least as far back as season 3, though I did some side-by-side comparisons, and either it’s a different dress or Marina had some work done. NO JUDGMENTS.

So Worf is like “I’m fine, go away” and she’s like, “What? No, come sit on the bed.” And then we’re treated to another fantastic series of screengrabs.

This is… odd…

You’re right, I have been a little stressed out.

Oh, you want to tell me a secret?

GAAAAHH!

He actually makes a pretty funny noise here. Worf is #crushingit with the facial expressions this episode. So, in this alternate reality, Troi is his wife, which would explain the gentle undulating curves of that hideous wall sculpture (note that the red accent lights do not change from reality to reality… some things are constant). 

Also Troi let Worf’s hair down but we can’t really see it until now.

ELGINIZED

I’m sure I must have seen his hair down before—at the very least, when I watched this episode the first time—but I was just stunned by its luxuriousness. I took way more screengrabs than necessary because LOOK AT HIS HAIR. 

This is not the hair of a warrior… this is the hair of a showpony. And I like it.

Okay, so meanwhile Geordi died, which means we have to conduct his autopsy in Sickbay in the midst of all his friends while his junk is only covered by—say it with me, folks—a sparkly loincloth.

LBR, though: the sparkly loincloth works better with Geordi’s skintone.

Also Worf is the first mate now because #quantumreality.

Not only does he look good in red, but it makes his light brown highlights pop.

I’m into these alternate-reality communicators. I didn’t even notice last time I saw this ep that the communicators have the same number of gold bars as their rank. Data, who is a Lt. Cmdr., and thus two solid gold pips and one hollow one, even has a silver bar for his half-pip. GOOD ATTENTION TO DETAIL, GUYS.

Wait a second, if Worf is the First Mate… who’s the captain?

I’m the captain now and to prove it I’ve brought my only possession into the Captain’s Ready Room: my bone. Oh, and this brass instrument I play. [plays rimshot on deceased Picard’s desk]

That’s all. Anything else weird in this reality?

In this reality there is even MORE accent lighting.

Wait a second, who is that up there?

I can’t believe I never made it off this fucking ship.

So, wait, Riker replaces Picard, Worf replaces Riker, and to replace Worf they get Wesley? Tasha Yar is spinning in her grave… which is in the future? So will have spun? Or… willan on-spinning? See this for help with time-travel tense. Anyway, I’m glad Wes got one of the classy back-zip uniforms and not one of the front-zips they usually make the extras wear. Though it’s clear that his hasn’t been through the plasma washing machine as many times as Data’s

Didn’t use Cheer™ with Colorsafe Technology.

Okay, so to cut to the chase there are a million different quantum realities and Worf is skipping through them. Then a Bajoran ship comes and fires on the Enterprise (though we don’t see the other ship at all, Riker’s just like “Oh crap, Bajorans”, which, come on guys) and then all of the alternate realities start crashing into each other.

I call it “Three Enterprise Moon.” Somebody get this on an oversize shirt, stat.

But there are way more than three.

More like NCC-1701-∞, AMIRITE? #nerdhumor

The only fix is for Worf to go back through the rift or whatevertheshit he came through, but he has a teary goodbye with Deanna who omg maybe he has #feelings for now! One last series:

It’s like some beautiful photo-negative sci-fi reinterpretation of The Bodyguard. If you’re not already singing “I Will Always Love You” in your brain then you are dead in your heart.

So this is almost it except it’s not… someone fires on Worf.

Riker as Lumbersexual. Not not into it.

They don’t want to go back to their reality because, well, look at it. So, I guess it’s more of a five-seconds-from-being-destroyed-and-the-universe-is-a-burning-hellscape-of-its-former-self-sexual. Still not not into it.

They’re not, like, a real threat though, and Worf does his thing and we get this shot which might be my favorite of the episode?

WORFS ON WORFS ON WORFS ON WORFS.

I’m only slightly disappointed that they didn’t throw in any Doctor Worfs or like, crazy outfit Worfs. I do, however, love Bored Worf all the way in the back. “UGH ARE WE THERE YET? THERE BEING MY APPROPRIATE QUANTUM REALITY. I’M SO BORRRRED.”

The kicker is that Worf gets back to his quarters “on his birthday” because #spacetime and there’s no surprise party, just Deanna.

I got you this gift and wrapped it as if you were the prettiest ballerina.

For someone who possesses a certain amount of telepathy, she really misjudged the sparkly Easter basket grass. On the other hand…

Maybe I am the prettiest ballerina. Maybe I am.

Well, at least we know who planned the surprise party.

(Oh and this begins the crazy-awesome Worf/Troi romance subplot, which is why I love this episode.)

betteroffdeader:

There are three kinds of people.

Friends of mine have created a new game called Bring Your Own Book, the game of borrowed phrases. They debuted the game at PAX South this past weekend and currently have a Kickstarter up (and they’ve already made the goal, yaaaay!). I was lucky enough to get to play the game in a beta version and it was really fun. Go have a look!

foreversean:

Here are all the food truck logos I made for the new Lucas Bros. Moving Co. episode!

Flashback Friday.

A website called Found in Mom’s Basement posted this vintage toilet paper ad that plays on the stereotype that Scottish people are cheap. From the post:

Although the stereotype of the cheap Scotsman isn’t as widely known in the U.S. today, going back a few decades it was an ethnic stereotype that was used freely, often making the Scots the butt of jokes.

The post has links to other examples, such as the Studebaker Scotsman, a low-cost, minimal-options car:

As a commenter to that post pointed out, Safeway’s store brand cigarettes, advertised as being inexpensive, was “Scotch Buy” (found at Cigarettespedia):

For a more recent example, we have McFrugal, a hardware site (now down):

A reader, Julia, noted that Scotch tape was named that because:

it originally had adhesive only on the edges of the tape.  [An early user] told a 3M salesman to go back to his “Scotch bosses” (presumably too cheap to put adhesive all over the tape) and make it stickier.

The Scots-are-cheap stereotype is a great example of how ethnic stereotypes can lose their power. Maybe I’m just oblivious, but until a few years ago, I’d never heard of the stereotype that Scots were cheap. Without that context, the associations the ads are attempting to make would be meaningless to me — I would have just thought it was odd that McFrugal had a guy with bagpipes, but not understood that it might have any meaning. When I asked students in my race class about this, only a couple had ever heard this stereotype.

Obviously, though, it used to be a very common, widely-recognized notion. Much like the Irish and other European ethnic groups, as Scots became part of the larger “White” racial category, ethnic distinctiveness and stereotypes have become less prominent.

Originally posted in 2009.

(View original at http://thesocietypages.org/socimages)

My 4 year old son is completely obsessed with pizza. So much, he wants his upcoming birthday party to be pizza themed, inspired by the Secret Pizza Party book. Being a good mom, I am doing pizza research and stumbled upon this pizza slice sleeping bag. Made me laugh.

husky mid-sneeze [x]

tehawesome:

Can’t stop won’t stop rewriting weather.com clickbait headlines

Janet got her nails done

timebombtown:

A Micro History of Teenage Bedrooms on Film

God I love this tumblr

by The Tournament of Books Staff

In early January, we’re going to release the short list and judges for The Morning News 2015 Tournament of Books.

But because our readers have requested us to do this, and because we enjoy doing this—telling you what books we loved in 2014—here is our long, long list: 62 books we believe represent some of the finest works of fiction published in English (mainly in America) this past year.

Come March, one of these books will win the Rooster.

Of course, plenty of fine-ass books aren’t on this list. There will be lots to argue about. We’re betting we missed out on at least two, if not two dozen—and what can we say except they simply didn’t move us enough, or the flight attendants we talked to, our mothers-in-law, the booksellers we trust, or the TMN readers we queried recently?

Anyone who’s followed the Tournament of Books these past 11 years has heard at least a dozen of our mea culpas, yowls about the idiocy of ranking fiction, complaints about the cronyism of prize committees, the silliness of giving out prizes for literature, the stupidity of comparing one work to another—and yet also the value for readers (if not writers) of doing those same exact things and discussing them at length, as our judges, commentators, and readers do each March. So we continue and try to be transparent about the process along the way.

Big thanks as always to our sponsor Field Notes, who create wonderful things for writing, and also our book sponsor, Powells.com. If you’re looking for something for writing or reading, seek them out.

Happy holidays, everyone. See you in early January when we release the final 16.

The Long, Long List for the 2015 Tournament of Books

• The Fever by Megan Abbott
• Panic in a Suitcase by Yelena Akhtiorskaya
• The Intimidator Still Lives in Our Hearts by Gary Amdahl
• Silence Once Begun by Jesse Ball
• Ruby by Cynthia Bond
• Women by Chloe Caldwell
• A Brave Man Seven Storeys Tall by Will Chancellor
• Wolf in White Van by John Darnielle
• All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr
• The End of Days by Jenny Erpenbeck
• The Book of Strange New Things by Michel Faber
• Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay by Elena Ferrante
• The Narrow Road to the Deep North by Richard Flanagan
• Let Me Be Frank With You by Richard Ford
• The Secret Place by Tana French
• American Innovations by Rivka Galchen
• Arctic Summer by Damon Galgut
• An Untamed State by Roxane Gay
• The Peripheral by William Gibson
• Friendship by Emily Gould
• Tigerman by Nick Harkaway
• The Book of Unknown Americans by Cristina Henríquez
• Wittgenstein Jr by Lars Iyer
• A Brief History of Seven Killings by Marlon James
• The Laughing Monsters by Denis Johnson
• The Ghost in the Electric Blue Suit by Graham Joyce
• Euphoria by Lily King
• Redeployment by Phil Klay
• My Struggle: Book Three by Karl Ove Knausgård
• Nobody Is Ever Missing by Catherine Lacey
• California by Edan Lepucki
• 10:04 by Ben Lerner
• People Park by Pasha Malla
• Bedrock Faith by Eric Charles May
• The Children Act by Ian McEwan
• Our Secret Life in the Movies by Michael McGriff and J.M. Tyree
• The Man with the Compound Eyes by Wu Ming-Yi
• The Bone Clocks by David Mitchell
• Florence Gordon by Brian Morton
• Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami
• Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng
• Dept. of Speculation by Jenny Offill
• Alphabet by Kathy Page
• Reunion by Hannah Pittard
• Afternoon Men by Anthony Powell
• Bellweather Rhapsody by Kate Racculia
• Lila by Marilynne Robinson
• Dan by Joanna Ruocco
• Lost for Words by Edward St. Aubyn
• Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel
• Adam by Ariel Schrag
• Dear Committee Members by Julie Schumacher
• Whiskey Tango Foxtrot by David Shafer
• Some Luck by Jane Smiley
• The Vacationers by Emma Straub
• Lena Finkle’s Magic Barrel by Anya Ulinich
• Area X: The Southern Reach Trilogy (Annihilation, Authority, and Acceptance) by Jeff VanderMeer
• The Free by Willy Vlautin
• The Paying Guests by Sarah Waters
• Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson
• All the Birds Singing by Evie Wyld
• The Wallcreeper by Nell Zink

Someone set a bunch of those videos where Star Trek is stabilized to “Turn Down For What” and here it is. (:48 is magical.)