Tyler captured the flaming, exploding Bolt bus on the eastbound turnpike in West Newton. State Police report two lanes are shut - and that no one was injured.
Welcome to Dot reposts a query from the Lower Mills Nextdoor group:
Anyone know of a local ceramic shop or thrist store where I can find ceramic fairies?
I know it is a weird request, but I really need a few for the neighborhood kids.
The few I had in my front yard broke over the winter, and at least 3 little girls in the neighborhood feel a real loss because the fairies are missing. One 6 year old girl gave me some seeds to attract new fairies.
B.D. Colen posts 58 photos of people being completely alone despite being crammed into MBTA subway cars. Most seem sad, one does a good imitation of Uncle Fester from the Addams Family.
Here's the latest installment of Reggie Makes Music with special guest Paul F. Tompkins, who is more than game to freestyle with Watts about doing crime, doing time, stealing pennies at 7-Eleven, suicidal thoughts, and a bunch of other stuff. Catch all the rest on Comedy Bang! Bang! on IFC tomorrow night at 11:00pm.
If I ever get a lot of money and the technology for digitally inserting new actors into TNG sets becomes readily available, I’m going to make a Next Gen spinoff dating comedy spinoff called:
The first episode will be this one, because it’s so Carrie.
Who’s our SJP stand-in?
Could we get Meg Ryan? No? Okay, well, then this lady works fine.
The ep starts with her waggling some pretty bouncy eyebrows at this hot hunk of metal:
He’s such a Miranda.
I’ll be honest, watching the cold open to this episode I was worried it might be a uniforms-only situation. But then I saw this and I knew everything was going to be alllllll right.
Plus, we get some Ten-Forward people in the background action. I don’t really have time to go through everything here, but this seemed to work well on a previous post so let’s just do a nice quick sweep of the room.
And on the drink menu tonight: drinks the color of water that has been subjected to quite a lot of food coloring by seven-year-olds.
And I haven’t even gotten to our performers.
It’s the United Colors of Ohmigod.
Okay, well, the guy on the right clearly isn’t even trying… it’s like he found an overzealous Crown Royal drawstring bag and just sort of rolled into it, and then stapled some extra bulk carpet from the hallway of the MGM grand on his front. As for the basoonist… surely someone must have told her that the neck strap was going to do strange things to her bosoms.
Oh great and the clarinetist is wearing a poop-suit. Who is that?
Keik-uh-oh
Okay, well, I think all I REALLY need to say is why does brown velvet even exist. But more importantly, you can tell that Keiko is not really playing the clarinet because of her embouchure, or the shape of her mouth, which is not in clarinet mode but is, in fact, in dick-sucking mode. I SHOULD KNOW BECAUSE I’VE DONE BOTH THINGS. Anyway. Hopefully my family is missing this post.
After the concert, everyone chills for a bit in a classic Ten-Forward Gang Hang.
You guys there are still balls on the table.
Apparently it’s going to be one of those dick-and-balls kinds of posts, so, sorry about that. Keiko is sort of reverting into full Japanese Teenager and we can see that Miles is really getting lazy on his pointed burns. But all this coupley arm linkage is having a strange effect on this lady Data’s hangin’ with.
ISN’T THAT HILARIOUS
Data, I know you don’t have any feelings, but I feel you.
Well, I think we all know where this is heading.
Listen, boss, I know it looks like I’m not doing any work but it’s because I’m in loOoOoOoOoOove!
Like, Data, where are your command skills? Also, how is this the 24th century, but we don’t have technology to lift this thing (I think it’s a science torpedo) up so that Data doesn’t have to be on his knees?
Also, please cue the beginning of my anger towards this woman who, like, I guess they had to make dim enough to actually want to pursue a relationship with an emotionless android, but, like, is still technically smart enough to serve on the Enterprise.
Hair category is: Trilobyte
No, Data, we don’t understand what’s happening either.
I kissed a ’droid and I liked it…
I mean, really, this is where I probably hopped off the believability train, because there is absolutely no reaction to what kissing an android is like. I’m assuming his lips are cold, and clearly these guys aren’t using tongue, but he knows to close his eyes? Okay, Star Trek. Whatever you say.
So Data, not being a moron, goes to ask advice of the only person on the ship who I would ever take relationship advice from.
Oh good, we’re back to primary color experiments again.
I don’t want to get too far into the weeds over how it doesn’t REALLY make sense for Guinan to mix a drink when she could just ask the replicator to mix it for her (and what do these guys do with all the many, many empty fancy vessels this mixing requires? Are there any sinks on the enterprise?).
GUESS WHAT IT MADE GREEN
Okay, enough of this stuff. Let’s get to what we all came here for.
Guinan’s outfit inspired by the beheading of Grimace, complete with scar tissue accent and gore shoulder.
This is actually one of my favorite Guinan moments because she’s, like, so clearly out of her depths and a) she readily admits it but b) kind of likes it because she’s so rarely out of her depths. What she clearly wants to say is “a real, live human woman wants to be your girlfriend? And nobody thinks that’s weird?”
But mostly I just love this outfit so much that i want to look at it again.
It’s like the doctoral robes from Xanadu University
I just love that she is still clearly tickled pink at the concept of Data dating. Well, tickled purple anyway.
So in a strange but also kind of endearing sequence, Data asks EVERYONE IN THE CAST their advice. He starts at the bottom.
Data, you’re smarter than this
Fortunately, Geordi realized pretty quickly he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about, and that doesn’t even have anything to do with the fact that Data’s an android. The exchange kind of goes like this:
Well, that’s the second of Data’s “friends” who have told him, “I have no idea how to advise you.” Surely someone on this ship must be able to give him advice.
That’s a pretty judgy leg-cross there, Dee.
She’s sort of useless too. And not just because she has that weird almost-phallus very prominently displayed on a plinth, or because she’s sitting on a vagina chair. Who else is there to talk to?
Actual quote: “Klingons do not pursue relationships; they conquer what they desire.”
I don’t think any additional commentary is needed here. Worf tells Data to be nice to the girl because she’s under Worf’s command; how very older brother of him. What kind of military vessel is this?
I think Brent Spiner’s furrowed brow might need its own contract.
Okay, well, Data, you’ve been steadily working your way down the list of increasingly worse people to talk to about relationships with ladies. Who’s left?
YOU’VE GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.
Now, as much as I feel bad for Data that most of his sack-of-fluids friends are zero help, I was seriously disturbed by how gung-ho Riker was for Data to get laid. In a lot of ways, this show was perfectly pitched to families because even though Riker just uses words like “really special” he never actually says “bang that chick with your ’bot dong.” He does however turn up the dials on the Riker Skeeve Setting:
RIKER SKEEVE SETTING: 75%
RIKER SKEEVE SETTING: 100%
RIKER SKEEVE SETTING: 1000%
Data’s feelings on the matter:
It’s a good thing you don’t have feelings because otherwise you would be crawling our of your artificial derma right now.
In Data’s defense, he does try and court the advice of someone much more reliable, and stately.
So busted.
I don’t know what day at the Royal Shakespeare Company they covered “subtle horror” but clearly P-Stew was paying attention that day. Actual quote: “Yes, I’ve heard, Data… and I
would be delighted to offer you
any advice I have on understanding
women. As soon as I have some, I’ll let
you know.” CAPTAIN HUMILITY.
But I guess the average of all the advice he gets, between Geordi, Picard and Guinan’s “buh???”, Troi’s “be careful” and Riker’s “ooohhhh yeeeeeaaahhh” comes out to a net positive.
INITIATE FLOWER GIVING PROTOCOL
He totally busts in on his lady to bring her flowers. Part of the “joke” or whatever is that she’s a total slob, and Data’s not (though before they started dating they’d hang out and he’d clean her quarters? Which is a little weird?).
So… what do we do now?
A few things here. First of all, I get wanting to underscore the total slob note, but how did that sparkly drape get all the way up on the wall like that? That’s not a casual “tossed it somewhere after I used it” messiness. That’s a “I got drunk with a staple gun” messiness, which is VERY DIFFERENT.
As for her outfit, there was something that was a little strange about it to me that I couldn’t quite figure out for a second, and then it hit me: she’s basically dressed like it’s the 20th century. Caʒ top, long sweater, black leggings… maybe she just got back from her jazzercise class and was chillaxing.
Oh the sleeves are sheer… well that’s a little better
Still, though, girlfriend is relaxing at home. Good work.
I bring you flowers, now you give me that sweet, sweet loving.
If that’s not a quid pro quo facial expression I don’t know what is.
Anyway, the shit-spiral sort of starts here, with her bringing Data the most hideous thank-you-for-the-date-gift imaginable.
Da fuq?
In this scene where she has to tell him how to be a gentleman, i.e., put the gift in a prominent place, and when she says “don’t let me interrupt you” she really means “drop what you’re doing and pay attention to me.” If Data’s engaging in this relationship to learn about humans, he picked a pretty bad sample to draw from.
Somehow Data ends up with the impression that he’s doing everything wrong, so he writes a “romance subroutine” that’s clearly based off of sitcoms from the 50s.
For my money, the creepiest thing on Next Generation is when Data shows emotions.
He tries to casanova the pants off of his lady by making her a drink, which, again, just means asking the replicator for the drink and then carrying it over to her.
Hey girl.
Well, sorry, now I have to take a moment and do this:
I mean, I could really do this all day.
So then Data does what we all wish a man would do: clean up our floor mess while singing in Italian.
That’s right, data, I’d pick up that neon undergarment with just my fingertips too.
Also to note: flute on the couch, open books on the table next to inscrutable purple glass sculpture, bolt of poop-colored cloth on the chair.
If I had a nickel for every shiny cape I forgot to hang up after I used it
We can just assume that the production designers were like “Hey, costumes department, give us some cloth for strewing.”
Back bone?
There’s a moment here where Data stops singing, at first seemingly stunned by the sheer horror of the room he’s looking into (her bedroom? it’s unclear), but then he’s like “I can organize your closet for you” AND THE GIRL SAYS NO which is just not a thing. I mean, if she already had a system, maybe, sure, but like, this extremely sophisticated machine wants to help organize your life for you, girlfriend. Don’t look an e-horse in the mouth.
So the b-plot on this episode is that the Enterprise is passing through a nebula full of dark matter AND WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG WITH THAT, oh I know: little pieces of the ship keep disappearing for a second. At first the problems are just silly like this:
“Is this some sort of a prank?”
But then it gets more serious and this terrifying shit starts happening.
She may have been cut in half by the floor, but at least her hair looked right.
This makes my top 10 all time most gruesome moments in TNG that, like, stuck with me.
Long story short, the captain has to pilot the Enterprise out of the nebula which is at least the second time that he is like I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN STEER US OUT in this series (the other time he wrangles the helm from Wesley I think and steers them out of an asteroid? One of our readers will know which one this is).
The important thing is that they survive and then Data’s g-fry has to break up with him.
I matched my shirt to my pants to my boots
I’m not even sure that those aren’t footie-leggings. But of course the real highlight here is this:
I’m leaving you to join “Sweet Honey in the Rock”
Actually, upon closer inspection, it almost looks like it was inspired by the wallpaper in a middle-upscale Chinese restaurant, you know, one with cloth napkins and ceramic chopsticks. The camo green not-really-a-jumpsuit-but-it’s-all-the-same-color is, like, you know, awful, but I feel like that’s on brand for her.
Also, to notice, Data has tried to make his quarters “less Spartan” by hanging some tribal pattern cloths on the walls, which makes me think he doesn’t quite know what the word “Spartan” means.
Almost as if in apology, the final shot of the episode is this:
KITTY SOLVES ALL PROBLEMS
And what a fashionable kitty he is.
Anyway, before I sign off, if you want to hear more about disastrous dating situations, check out my podcast, Serial Dater! Okay, well, I imagine that most of our dedicated readership has already decided to engage or not (GET IT), but maybe you’re new to FIS and aren’t already tired of me plugging the shit out of it. You can get it in iTunes or on Stitcher! And if you have been listening to it, but haven’t left a rating, review, or liked us on Facebook, all of those things are magic! Thanks guys!
A baby Echidna is recovering at Australia’s Taronga Zoo after being seriously injured when its burrow was dug up by a bulldozer.
Photo Credit: Paul Fahy
Zoo keepers have taken on the role of surrogate mother to the baby Echidna, called a puggle, feeding it a special milk mixture from the palms of their hands.
The puggle was first brought to the zoo with a deep wound to the side of its body after its nursery burrow was accidentally dug up by a bulldozer in December.
Believed to have been just two months old when rescued, the Echidna required weeks of antibiotics, hand rearing and sleep in a temperature-controlled artificial burrow.
The puggle – which is still too young for keepers to determine its gender –has doubled in size since February. Dubbed ‘Newman’ after the Seinfeld character who shares its beady eyes, the puggle is finally feeding confidently.
Instead of having teats like other mammals, Echidnas have patches on their abdomen that excrete milk for their young to lap up. Newman now eats steadily for about 40 minutes at a time, stopping only to blow milk out its nose. As adults, Echidnas use their sticky tongues to slurp up ants and termites.
Echidnas belong to a group of egg-laying mammals called monotremes, which are found only in Australia and New Guinea. Their spiny coats are an effective defense against predators. If their spines aren’t enough to keep them safe, Echidnas use their powerful claws to dig themselves into the earth, disappearing like a sinking ship.
Jacques Cabaret, 79 Broadway in Bay Village, goes before the Boston Licensing Board on Wednesday for permission to stop serving food - the day after it has to answer charges of not using the food-serving license it has.
The cabaret currently has a liquor license that requires it to make food available to patrons. On Tuesday, Jacques has to explain to the board why BPD detectives caught it on March 2 not offering food to customers, indeed, not having a kitchen or food-preparation area at all.
WBZ warns allergy sufferers to brace for an intense spring pollen season because all the cold weather means plants will be bursting forth over a shorter period of time.
Zoo New England announced today that Christopher the Lion has died. He was 21.
Christopher, born in Florida, had lived at Franklin Park since 2001 - and exceeded the average lifespan of a lion in captivity by more than four years.
In a statement, Zoo New England President John Linehan said:
Vehicle light law - This is already a habit for me, since I *think* this is already a law in NYS where I learned to drive (at least the part about your lights having to be on while operating windshield wipers) but an FYI for MA drivers.
Another note: I could argue I REALLY learned to drive in Boston. That was an education.
focusing on whether or not "RoadRunner" was about to become the official state rock song, that we overlooked this new law - effective today - that quietly slipped through:
the comments are amazing. i have mortified myself several times in my illustrious career history, and it eases the painful memories *a bit* to read some of these.
There was a great (and sometimes hilarious) discussion on last week’s open thread about unprofessional things people had done in their pasts that at the time they didn’t realize were unprofessional.
I enjoyed some of the comments so much that I’m sharing them here.
Oh lord. During my first few months at my first job out of grad school, I created a folder on the shared drive that said “Do Not Open – Private,” and then each subsequent sub folder had a similar title (e.g. “why did you click on that?” and “I told you not to continue”). After about 15 layers of folders, there was a picture of Rick Astley (of rick roll fame) that said “Never gonna trust you again.”I still….do…not…have….any…idea…what I was thinking. It was an organization of about 150 people, and everyone had access to it. About a week after I posted it, my boss called me into his office and just started laughing hysterically. That was almost 10 years ago, and he still talks about why that made me the best hire ever. I cringe hard when I think of it.
I was never going to win any awards for professionalism, but I am truly grateful that I’ve worked at places that seem to enjoy my somewhat strange sense of humor (or at least tolerate it). Let’s see…I gave a presentation wearing a snuggie, I hung a portrait of Nicholas Cage next to all of the other former company presidents, wrote ridiculous fake memos…all within my interning time / first 2 years as a professional. It seems like such a crazy departure from the professional I’ve become that I can’t believe I was so oblivious to realities of a workplace.
One time I wore a legitimate bathing suit cover-up (it was really cute and if made with the right material, would have been an adorable dress) with a white slip underneath thinking that made it okay. It wasn’t until I went out after work and my friend kept asking if I was wearing a bathing suit cover-up that I realized I most definitely should not do that again.
At my first internship, I would leave about 5 minutes early. So if I was scheduled to work until 4pm, I’d usually wrap up all my work by 3:50 and be out the door at 3:55. Looking back I cringe and people probably thought I was an ass who should have stayed until 4pm. I was naive.
Back in my late teens/early 20s, I had a series of short stays at various retail jobs and repeatedly no-showed on my last scheduled day. I was all, “what are they going to do, fire me?” and didn’t even think about the bridge I just burnt.In this same period, I also no call/no showed two days in a row and was surprised when I called to check my shifts for the next week and found out I was fired.
What about the rest of you? Confess your sins of unprofessionalism here.
boring life question: does anyone work from home full time/most of the time? I do occasionally, like, 2 or 3 days in a month maybe, usually to schedule around dr. appts or to get some intense heads-down work done. But I'm curious what full-time WFH feels like ... I think I'd miss the random chit chat with coworkers and start talking to myself a lot (more).
Some managers worry that telecommuting employees will be distracted and less productive, and as a result are reluctant to approve work-from-home arrangements at all or will only approve them in unusual circumstances. After all, their worry goes, can people really be as productive when they don’t have the immediate accountability of coworkers seeing how they’re spending their day, and when their home is filled with distractions like TV, pets, and the chance to get caught up on the laundry?
But new research suggests that the opposite of this fear is true: that working from home can actually increase productivity.
I have zero time for Harry Potter stuff on Tumblr (or just my adult life in general unless I’m too hungover to change the channel) but this made me laugh.
So now Boston 2024 will push a statewide referendum, which might remind some of the effort a couple decades back to repeal rent control in Boston, Cambridge and Brookline via a statewide referendum.
Let me tell you a story about a dog named Chuck.
When he heard this news he took a huge shit right next to my bedroom door.
