IKEA Monkey

You've probably imagined it hundreds of times: You step out of the limo and walk the red carpet in your finest duds as the cameras snap and flashes blind you — all while you're on the arm of the one and only George Clooney.Well dream no more, because it could happen.

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA—Having driven to Virginia Beach to visit his sister for a brief vacation, fast food consumer and Pennsylvania native Don Turnbee expressed his interest Friday in eating at Carl’s Jr., a fast food chain not readily available ...

Since taking the majority of the content and visuals of his short film “Howard Cantour” from cartoonist Daniel Clowes’s Justin M. Damiano, passing them off as his own, and being found out the moment the film was released on-line, Shia LaBeouf (former actor) has been not doing so well. Sources say that his brain seems bad and his friends and family or, at the very least, those whose livelihoods depend on his wellness, should maybe check on him. The drama of former actor and Twitter user Shia LaBeouf came to a head today when LaBeouf made the binding and permanent announcement that he has retired from all public life, calling his followers to #stopcreating. While it is unfortunate in some cases that pronouncements of retirement made on Twitter are now enforced by law, we must trust that it is for the best, and understand that LaBeouf must adhere to the rule. Shia LaBeouf, former actor, is now just a man. What will the man do now? Well, we don’t know, and we won’t know. That is the beauty of being merely a man. Maybe he will go grocery shopping? Maybe he will take a shower. Maybe he will mow the lawn. It will be a beautiful life, in its way, but certainly one of which we will have no knowledge. (Via Twitter.)

Back in October, Kim Kardashian got a whole bunch of attention for tweeting her ass in a swimsuit to Kanye West. So here she is milking that cow again and with an added shot of her tits because she’s grown as a person and a mother. It’s like watching a delicate flower beautifully blossom into one of those piranha plants from Mario Bros. that eats humanity’s soul then shits it out. (I should write poetry, I know. I get that a lot.)

 

Photos: Instagram / COLO/AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

You can’t always believe what you see. Especially when it comes to car advertisements. Those ads promising low financing and easy monthly payments are probably too good to be true.

Nine auto dealers agreed to settle charges of alleged deceptive advertising, the Federal Trade Commission announced in a conference call and press release Thursday. Action is currently being taken with a tenth dealership.

The nationwide sweep, Operation Steer Clear, found dealers made a variety of misrepresentations in advertisements, violating the FTC Act by falsely leading consumers to believe they could purchase or lease vehicles for much lower prices.

Orders from the settlement prohibit the dealerships from misrepresenting in any advertisement for the purchase, financing, or leasing of motor vehicles the cost of leasing a vehicle, the cost of purchasing a vehicle with financing, or any other material fact about the price, sale, financing, or leasing of a vehicle.

“Buying or leasing a car is a big deal, and car ads are an important source of information for serious shoppers,” said Jessica Rich, director of the FTC’s Bureau of Consumer Protection. “Dealers’ ads need to spell out costs and other important terms customers can count on. If they don’t, dealers can count on the FTC to take action.”

The FTC announced similar deceptive advertising charges against a Cleveland Ford dealership in September.

You can check out the FTC’s announcement for a list of businesses that are included in the settlements.

If you’re still thinking of purchasing a new car, the FTC has two handy guides: Are Cars Taking You for a Ride? and Buying and Owning a Car.

FTC Announces Sweep Against 10 Auto Dealers [FTC.gov]

Poet, music critic, essayist, playwright, and political activist Amiri Baraka, one of the most controversial figures in 20th-century American literature, has died at age 79.

Born in 1934 as Everett LeRoi Jones in Newark, New Jersey, Baraka attended Rutgers University, Howard University, and New York’s New School before joining the Air Force in 1954, where he received a dishonorable discharge amid accusations of being a communist. He then moved to Greenwich Village where he met several Beat Generation and New York School poets and cultivated his interest in jazz music.

In 1958, Baraka founded Totem Press and the literary magazine Yugen with his future wife, Hettie Cohen. Baraka worked as an editor and critic for Kulchur magazine from 1960 to 1965 and published a literary newsletter called The Floating Bear during that time. In 1963, he published his seminal Blues People: Negro Music In White America, and the ...

Late last week during NBC's New Year's Eve with Carson Daly broadcast, comedian and co-host Natasha Leggero made an off-the-cuff joke about a SpaghettiO's tweet that drew criticism for attempting to profit from the Pearl Harbor attack of 1941. "It sucks that the only survivors of Pearl Harbor are being mocked by the only food they can still chew," Leggero remarked, sending her co-hosts into fits of laughter.

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While everyone’s losing their shit over Edward Snowden and the NSA spying, what they should probably be concerned with is how easily 4chan can track a person down after being showed a pair of naked tits. Even ones like Jenna Jameson‘s, so clearly none of us are safe. The Daily Dot reports:

Jameson asked 4chan’s most notorious imageboard /b/, known for its raids, vote rigging, and justice seeking, to find the assistant who had accessed her social media accounts and deleted her photos.
Despite /b/’s penchant for believing everything they read, the community put the 39-year-old through her paces before they helped her.
/b/ asked her to do the popular “Tits or GTFO (“get the f**k out”)” and the “put shoe on head” memes in order to prove that she was indeed sincere. They also asked her to hold a dark colored shoe in her right hand. Jameson satisfied all requests.
With the verification out of the way, /b/ got down to business.
The quickly tracked down the ex-assistant’s address, last four digits of his social security number, and his credit score.

In related news, The Superficial would like to reiterate its continuing stance that 4chan is a national treasure, haz all the lulz, and its members are giant dicked in both their constitution and swagger. Please accept this offering of Lindsay Lohan’s naked breasts as a token of our appreciation and a distraction while we throw our laptops in a lake and move to Ecuador. CHEESE IT.

Click Here For (NSFW) Gallery

Photos: Imgur

Fashionista is worried about the whereabouts of Lena Dunham. Where is she? they wonder. All the other girls of Girls are in the magazines and she's nowhere to be found. Could this mean that Dunham will be on the cover of Vogue soon? Who cares – right now, it's all about Allison Williams.

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If you were wondering whether or not adorable wood faun Harry Styles would be appearing on the upcoming season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians now that he's busy keeping up with Kendall Jenner's wild heart, the answer is a resounding NO.

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Sorry, dear readers, but the crop circle discovered last week etched in a farmer's barley field in Chualar, California, was not created by aliens.

VIEW SLIDESHOW: 20 Quick and Easy One Pot Meals

Shredded Chicken, Chard and Chickpea Soup [Photograph: Yasmin Fahr]

Time, effort, and dishes? Making dinner on a weeknight can be a challenging prospect, especially for those hoping to steer clear of labor-intensive meals. But whether you're saving money or simply can't resist a home-cooked meal, we've dipped into our recipe archives for quick, simple, weeknight-friendly recipes that are easily prepared in just a single pot or skillet.

Catch recipes for cassoulet, lasagna, and more flavorful, speedy meals in the list below, or you can see them all in the slideshow »

Meat & Poultry

Skillet Lamb Chops with Harissa, Spinach and Chickpeas [Photograph: Yasmin Fahr]

• Shredded Chicken, Chard and Chickpea Soup
• Chicken and Rice with Broccoli
• Easy Skillet Cassoulet
• Easy Ratatouille with Chicken
• Skillet Lamb Chops with Harissa, Spinach and Chickpeas
• Easy Skillet Turkey Dinner
• Pan-Cooked Chicken Thighs with Butternut Squash
• 30-Minute White Bean Turkey Chili

Seafood

Mussels in Chorizo and Tomato Broth [Photograph: Ashley Fahr]

• Pan-Seared Fish with Shiitake Mushrooms
• Skillet Rice Noodles with Clams, Snow Peas, and Corn
• Mussels in Chorizo and Tomato Broth

Pasta, Grains and Vegetarian



Shakshuka [Photograph: Yasmin Fahr]

• Vegetarian Citrus Pasta With Swiss Chard
• Skillet Spaghetti alla Carbonara with Kale
• Skillet Orecchiette with Sausage and Broccoli Rabe
• Skillet Baked Ziti
• Stovetop Chicken Lasagna
• Couscous with Crispy Pancetta and Butternut Squash
• Eggplant and Tomato Sauce with Israeli Couscous
• Eggplant and Tomato Pasta
• Shakshuka

About the author: Ben Jay is an editorial intern at Serious Eats, photographer, carnivore, beer and whisky drinker, and music nerd. He's still not 100% sure why kale is so damn hip. You can follow him on Twitter and Instagram.

Threatening not just records but lives, a blast of arctic air packing the lowest temperatures in two decades descended on the Midwest on Monday and began a brutal plunge across most of the United States.

J Crew's spring 2014 wedding collection is available for pre-order, and it contains a BRIDAL JUMPSUIT. What do we think of the bridal jumpsuit concept? On one hand, it's a wonderful quasi-fuck-you to the wedding industrial complex because 1) it's not a lavish, massive princess dress, and 2) it costs $750, which is the Wedding Currency equivalent of three pennies and a shriveled up stick of gum. On the other hand, though, do you really want to have to struggle to go pee on your big day?

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You often worry family or friends might not approve of something, people are talking about you behind your back, or you might offend someone. If this sounds like you, it's time to break free and stop giving a f*ck.

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Oh dear. You know that time you flipped by A&E's mega-hit Duck Dynasty and thought, just for second, oh hey maybe I should check this out and the barely made it through 30 seconds before flipping back to Chopped? Yeah, you probably made the right call.

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Last year we kicked off 2013 by offering our selections to fight the hair of the dog. This year, it's our readers' turn. [ more › ]

If your ad implies your model suffers from internal trauma, you may have overdone it with Photoshop.

Ribcages, like thighs that reach your butt, are just another superfluous part of a person. I look forward to the day when human evolution takes us to the point where our women are eight-feet-tall bird people with joints that spin in every possible direction.

Thanks Beth for the great find. You can see the original on Amiclubwear.

The post AmiClubWear: Suck it up appeared first on PSD : Photoshop Disasters .

Despite a few new-restaurant jitters, this new burger bar is taking off in Logan Square. [ more › ]

Chicago, that cold and blustery city, somehow always manages to have the warmest, friendliest citizens around. and nowhere is that more evident than in our 2013 House Tours. These stellar spaces run the gamut from rustic to modern to bright but what they all have in common is how welcoming they feel. Check 'em out.

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Super sexy gourmand Nigella Lawson is entangled in a legal mess involving her ex-husband and two former longtime assistants who alleged in court proceedings this week that "Higella"—as her ex is now referring to her—used cocaine, pot, and prescription pills "daily" for last 10 years. Girl can party.

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A federal judge in Utah has struck down part of that state's law banning polygamy, after a lawsuit was brought by the stars of the television reality series "Sister Wives."

The Bounty Parenting Club has released its annual list of Most Extraordinary Baby Names, and it it is quite extraordinary indeed. Trends include: common nouns that are not human names, other nouns that have been misspelled, abstract concepts and companies.

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For someone so deadpan, it turns out Lizzy Caplan can contort her face into some fantastically goofy expressions. So you'll learn from the video above, in which the Masters of Sex star attempts to mimic common Internet rage faces, like the forever alone and "y u no" guys.

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You remember A.J. "Fucking Shit" Clemente who got fired for cursing on air on his first day on the job, but do you remember the news reporter who drew a penis on her map display? Or the anchor who pantomimed how a big vibrating toothbrush works? Oh yes, all of your favorites from 2013 are here for you to behold.

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