IKEA Monkey

At first glance, the above photo appears to be nothing more than a typical office drone dressing up for his company’s mandatory Halloween party. The truth however, is much different… and much much more sad.

The masked half-shaven gentlemen is actually McDonald’s new Hamburglar… you read that correctly. Gone is the chubby, single-toothed burger thief of our youth. He’s been replaced with a square-jawed, trench-coated metrosexual, who looks as though he only eats burgers that are grass-fed organic.

The introduction of the new mascot comes as McDonald’s sales plummet nationwide. And, we all know what happens when McDonald’s introduces a new mascot to peddle its foodstuffs… it winds up scaring the shit out of everyone.

[via Mashable]

buy this print!

I guess we don't know if Valerian was a virgin or not, but if he was, I doubt the choice would precede his name if people prayed to him.

If you grew up Catholic like me you had a lot of those picture books full of saints. They were great because they were crazy and gory and exciting, and they could be inspiring too. And if you were a girl, you were probably given a lot of cards and books and whatnot about all the virgin martyrs. Saint Cecilia didn't get it as bad (virgin onslaught-wise) as .. oh, anyone from Saint Agnes, Lucy, Agatha, Maria Goretti (yikes)- but like all the virgin martyrs, this aspect of her life is presented with a certain... fervour. Gather round girls, let me tell you what a woman should be! And so when you start questioning what's going on in the Church's attitude towards ladies, these virgin martyrs are among the first to go.

I was reading a bit of feminist interpretations of these women's lives, and it was super interesting, to try and think of their stories in their own terms (as much as you can anyway), rather than a tool to tell me what I was and was not supposed to be. I'm no theologian, I just liked coming back to something that did have an impact on me, years ago. And so here's Saint Cecilia, because the image of her still touches my heart, I admit.

I like a good rant now and then, don't you?

While watching celebrities arrive at the Met Gala, did you find yourself asking, “Which of those dresses would look best on me?” It’s not uncommon to as those kinds of questions when seeing so many different styles of clothing at once, but forget about dresses you should wear. Have you ever wondered which dress you should be? I’ve created a quiz to help you figure that out.

Read more...

Orson Welles would have turned 100 years old today. While the talented actor/director/writer leaves behind a staggering body of work—including Citizen Kane, long regarded as the best film of all time—the YouTube generation may know him best for what happened when a couple of voiceover directors decided to challenge him while recording an ad for Findus frozen foods in 1970.

The tempestuous Welles is having none of it. You’d do yourself a favor to listen to the whole thing, but here are some choice excerpts.

After he was asked for one more take from the audio engineer:

Look, I’m not used to having more than one person in there. One more word out of you and you go! Is that clear? I take directions from one person, under protest … Who the hell are you, anyway?

After it was explained to him that the second take was requested because of a “slight gonk”:

What is a “gonk”? Do you mind telling me what that is?

After the director asks him to emphasize the “in” while saying “In July”:

Why? That doesn't make any sense. Sorry. There's no known way of saying an English sentence in which you begin a sentence with “in” and emphasize it. … That's just stupid. “In July?” I'd love to know how you emphasize “in” in ‘in July.” Impossible! Meaningless!

When the session moved from frozen peas to ads for fish fingers and beef burgers, the now-sheepish directors attempt to stammer out some instructions. Welles' reply:

You are such pests! ... In your depths of your ignorance, what is it you want?

Why would the legendary director agree to shill for a frozen food company in the first place? According to author Josh Karp, whose book Orson Welles’s Last Movie chronicles the director’s odyssey to make a “comeback” film in the 1970s, Welles acknowledged the ad spots were mercenary in nature: he could demand upwards of $15,000 a day for sessions, which he could use, in part, to fund his feature projects.

“Why he dressed down the man, I can't say for sure,” Karp says. “But I know that he was a perfectionist and didn't suffer fools, in some cases to the extreme. He used to take a great interest in the ads he made, even when they weren't of his creation.”

The Findus session was leaked decades ago, popping up on radio and in private collections before hitting YouTube. Voiceover actor Maurice LaMarche, who voiced the erudite Brain in Pinky and the Brain, based the character on Welles and would recite his rant whenever he got the chance.

Welles died in 1985 at the age of 70 from a heart attack, his last film unfinished. While some saw the pea endorsement as beneath his formidable talents, he was actually ahead of the curve: By the 1980s, many A-list stars were supplementing their income with advertising or voiceover work.

“He was a brilliant, funny guy,” Karp says. “There's a good chance he'd think the pea commercial was hilarious.” If not, he’d obviously have no problem saying as much.

It’s been three years since Lindsay Lohan, star of Just My Luck and Herbie: Fully Loaded, was ordered to serve 125 hours of community service. Since then, Lohan has served about 10 of those hours because she’s a busy career woman who has no time to give back to the community. So now she might be going to jail.

Read more...

Three types of tree pollen are bursting at the same time, causing a "triple whammy" for seasonal allergy sufferers.

Subway introduces guacamole to the national menu this month for a limited time and is featuring it in the new, limited-time Chicken Chipotle Melt with Guacamole.

The new guacamole features Haas avocados, jalapenos, onion, garlic, and a hint of salt and vinegar. It can be added to any sandwich for a suggested price of 75 cents for a 6-inch sub and $1.50 for a Footlong. Guacamole was previously available as an occasional regional offering.

The new Chicken Chipotle Melt with Guacamole sub features grilled chicken, guacamole, Monterey Cheddar cheese, Chipotle Southwest Sauce, and a choice of bread and veggies. The suggested retail price for the sandwich starts at $5 for a 6-inch sub and $8.25 for a Footlong.

The Simple $6 Menu continues on as Subway's current value play. It includes your choice from a selection of 6-inch subs plus chips and a drink for $6.

Nutritional Info - Subway Chicken Chipotle Melt with Guacamole sub (301g)
Calories - 530 (from Fat - 220)
Fat - 25g (Saturated Fat - 7g)
Sodium - 840mg
Carbs - 49g (Sugar - 7g)
Protein - 29g

[body_image width='1280' height='648' path='images/content-images/2015/05/02/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2015/05/02/' filename='the-10-conversations-graduating-college-students-are-about-to-never-have-again-522-body-image-1430527030.jpg' id='52010']Animal House screencap via Universal Pictures

College is a wonderful incubator of ideas. A 15-minute coffee break in the cafeteria can turn into an hour spent chatting about gender theory with that girl who never wears shoes. A quick trip to the dorm drug dealer can turn into a long, long discussion of the idea that—just think about it, man— we are all living inside a computer. The nation's universities are places of experimentation, where kids try on various adult skins to see which one fits. One week you're trying to get into scotch, the next you're attempting serious conversations about Kant and Foucault after half-listening to lectures about them.

As graduation season nears, many of these child/adult hybrids will be moving on from this comforting cocoon and entering the world of the workforce, where most conversations are about the weather, how you get to and from work, and how much you want to quit your job. So, class of 2015, stop for a second of reflection before you embark down the same road of toil your forefathers and foremothers trod down, and look back at the conversations that you only ever have when you have the naive confidence and enthusiasm of an undergrad.

The Argument Over Who Is More of an Alcoholic
"Did I get shitfaced every day since Minal's 'Why Is This in My Closet' Party? That was so long ago. I'm like officially an alcoholic."

"I'm drunk right now. And I haven't eaten anything this week except for Everclear and coconut yogurt. I'm way worse of an alcoholic."

"Yeah, but I woke up drunk from last night, then had a beer to get rid of my hangover. I just went to my professor's office hours, and I was drunk for the whole meeting."

"I was drunk for four of my finals."

Once you know someone who has done terrible shit while drinking and gone to rehab and made the AA-mandated apology rounds—or if you become that person yourself—jokes about alcoholism get a lot less funny. At a certain point, if someone says, "I'm an alcoholic," you get quiet instead of smirk-bragging about crushing a case of Busch.

That One About the Nature of Truth
"Um, actually, I don't think you can even make that assumption about Goddard's quote-unquote artistic intentions."

"Right? Like, what is art, even, until someone interprets it?"

"This couch could be art if I just said, 'Hey, this couch is art.'"

"As long as people believe you, that counts as art."

"As long as people believe in anything, it's true. Like, what is the world if not, like, a bunch of ideas people had that everyone goes along with?"

"If we all agree something is blue, it's blue, even if no one is seeing the same color."

"Totally. TOTALLY. Like, all words are just these empty signifiers, right? We just fill them in with whatever, our own bullshit."

This sort of thing is the undergrad-just-took-an-intro-to-philosophy-course-then-did-a-bong-hit version of that thing when three-year-olds ask "why" over and over again.

Bragging or Worrying About Your GPA
"I clearly did the research. I clearly put the works cited page in perfect MLA formatting, and she still gave me a fucking A minus!"

"Right, but she wrote on the front, 'unclear thesis.'"

"She clearly does not care about consistency in grading. In fact, she's probably sexist against men."

"Uh, OK. Well, I think you're gonna be fine. I'm getting a C minus in this class..."

"Yeah, well you don't know what it's like to have parents with high expectations."

Full-grown adults aren't dicks to each other about grades, because they have other things they can lord over one another, like marriages, children, jobs, and homes.

Your Close Readings of Hollywood Movies
"So, Rocky is obviously an anti-Nietzschian parable, with the strong man being overcome by the weak, but it gets really explicit in Rocky IV, with the blonde superman being knocked down by this avatar of conventional morality. It's total slave morality, this notion that the hero is this schmuck who is just this beaten-down nice guy. I mean, come on. Apollo Creed is so obviously the cooler one and the better fighter and just oozes charisma, why aren't we rooting for him? Doesn't he deserve to win? Why are our sympathies always attached to the so-called everyman?"

"OK."

"Also, Quentin Tarantino movies are racist."

Any Serious Conversation About Slavoj Žižek
"I like how Bernie Sanders sounds like a total Socialist."

"Bro, did you even read Žižek's The Sublime Object of Ideology?"

"Uh, most of it."

"Then you must know the fundamental theory error in Sanders's assumptions about Marxism."

"Maybe. But could you refresh my memory?"

"Žižek would say his brand of socialism doesn't explain why a commodity can affirm its social character, only the commodity-form of the product."

"Oh, totally."

Slavoj Žižek is a charming, goofy man, and probably the world's most famous Marxist intellectual—but unless you go on to a career in highbrow journals or academia, you'll probably never have to pretend you've read him again.

Related: Watch our own Alex Miller have a heart-to-heart with Žižek.

The Master Plan for Rebuilding Society
"I think I just figured out how to fix political corruption."

"Yeah?"

"Why is there a congress at all, or a president? We could vote with our phones, multiple times per day if there were direct democracy."

"Every decision would be in the hands of the people."

"No political offices to abuse, no officials to bribe. Government by the masses, for the masses."

"You'd still need some people in charge."

"How so?"

"To like, sign treaties, carry out orders. If people phone-voted to go to war, you'd have to have generals."

"One word, dude: robots."

The only place where this kind of conversation happens outside of college is Silicon Valley, where it happens every day.

The Fantasy About Never Needing to Make Money
"You know what? It may be 3 AM, and this vape made me higher than I've ever been in my life..."

"Me too."

"But this, right here? This is truer happiness than you can buy with a fucking American Express card."

"Money is a total trap. It's like Buddhism. A cycle of desire or whatever."

"All you need to do is start your own farm. Just on some abandoned land or whatever. Grow some carrots, lettuce, or just grow weed, barter for what you need. Hook a generator up to a bike..."

"Wait, what?"

"You can power things with your foot pedals. Just like Occupy Wall Street."

"I bet we could go to Detroit and set that up right now."

"Word."

Many people fantasize about building an autonomous growhouse-commune-farm in America's Rust Belt, but only a few have enough follow-through to make those plans come to fruition. Soon you'll be buying non-IKEA furniture and things for the kitchen, then eventually a car, and other tokens of responsibility. Pretty soon, you'll have a house, and probably kids and before you know it you feel completely justified complaining about how much it costs to build a deck.

How Society Disrespects the Young
"That cop only chased us out of that park because we're young, you know."

"Oh, I know. When our generation gets older, we're gonna end some of this discrimination."

"Yeah, it's bullshit that we have to buy a keg from a creepy guy in a parking lot instead of from a store, but we can legally go to war and kill people."

"You know what else is bullshit? We can't rent cars until we're 25."

"Also renting a car is like 50 bucks a day."

"That's bullshit."

In less than a decade, you will be physically uncomfortable when you realize that the bar you're in is mostly populated by kids in their early 20s on Tinder dates.

Reminiscing About Something and Slowly Realizing You Have Done Something Terrible
"Oh man, you were so wasted you went out in flip-flops when it was below zero!"

"I know man. And then we found that tarp, and that tent in the woods..."

"Yeah. That shit was filthy! And we lit it on fire!"

"Haha! That was probably someone's home!"

"Hah. Man. It was really cold that night."

"Yeah, dude."

The One About the President Being "Actually Worse than Hitler"
"Voting for Hillary? You would probably vote for a fascist like Obama too, right?"

"Obama is literally the only man who kept an out-and-out psychopath like Romney outside of the White House!"

"Whatever. Obama's a mass murderer. I read an article that said Obama deported more people, and arrested more journalists than any other president ever."

"He patched up the economy, didn't he?"

"They said the same thing about Hitler!"

You brain is sharpest when you're young and relatively unencumbered, but soon you'll have a job that wears you down to the point of dullness by the evenings. You'll also have seen enough politicians come and go not to get too excited over individual comings and goings. For most media consumers, the president just starts to feel like any other TV personality. Pretty soon, you can't seem to muster more emotion about him or her than you can about Mario Lopez.

Oh, and you'll start to really like Mario Lopez.

Follow Mike Pearl on Twitter.

The bizarre teeth of an ancient marine worm may hold the key to classifying enigmatic fossils. Penis worms, sometimes known by their less-titillating moniker of priapulid worms, lived during the Cambrian Period, a time starting around 1.9 million years ago when most animal groups appeared on Earth. 

New research on a penis worm published in Palaeontology argues that classifying small fossils of teeth and other hardened body parts may be instrumental in figuring out where soft-bodied animals like worms lived millions of years ago, even though their bodies have long since decayed in most places. And if this study is anything to go on, we want to know as much about penis worms as humanly possible. 

Ottoia, the most prevalent type of priapulid found in the dense fossil field of Canada’s Burgess Shale Formation, had particularly nasty teeth, shaped like bear claws, hooks, and spines, as the study from the University of Cambridge notes. These were not your average pearly whites. 

The penis worm could open up its mouth to reveal a set of teeth inside its throat like a cheese grater. Some were covered in tiny spines, while others were pronged like the footprint of a bird, and still others curved as sharply as a cat’s claw. The penis worm, a formidable predator that would devour anything in its path, could turn its throat inside out and drag itself around by these teeth. 

Only about a millimeter long, the fossils sometimes are mistaken for algae spores rather than animal teeth, and the researchers had to use microscopy to study the internal structure of the miniscule fossils. 

The type of tooth classification system the Cambridge researchers are developing allows scientists to better understand where species once roamed, even though there might not necessarily be a great fossil record. For instance, large Ottoia fossils (those that don’t require a microscope to see them) are only found in rare environments like the Burgess Shale, which was at the bottom of the ocean millions of years ago. But smaller tooth fossils indicate that they also lived in shallower waters. 

“Now that we understand the structure of these tiny fossils, we are much better placed to a wide suite of enigmatic fossils,” lead author Martin Smith of the University of Cambridge said in a press statement. “It’s entirely possible that unrecognized species await discovery in existing fossil collections, just because we haven’t been looking closely enough at their teeth, or in the right way.”

[h/t: ScienceDaily]

Banner image by Claire H. via Wikimedia Commons // CC BY-SA 2.0

High priest of the nutjob conspiracy theorists Alex Jones has utterly lost control of his congregation. He has tried to assure the Operation Jade Helm 15 truthers that a string of Walmart closings around the country have absolutely nothing to do with the TOTALLY REAL Jade Helm conspiracy, which is that a completely routine military exercise is actually a secret plot whereby President Obama may invade and conquer Texas, maybe as a way to give it to ISIS as a peace gift, or something, who can even know what Obama has up his sleeve? But the loons just won’t listen to Alex Jones, so Walmart has had to jump in and issue perhaps the most awesome press statement in the history of Walmart:

Read more on Walmart To Texas Wingnuts: We’re Not Building Secret Tunnels So China Can Come Kill You…

 She told ALT that the black and white of her gown — which she designed with H&M — is a salute to yin and yang: I feel like, it’s also conveniently the color palate she wears literally all the time, so…she might have just concocted that story on the way up the stairs. That being Read More ...

An investigator says star quarterback Tom Brady was "at least generally aware."

On Saturday evening just before 6 p.m., according to the NYPD, a 34-year-old woman was minding her own business in the Brooklyn Bridge/City Hall subway station when a man came up to her and tried to talk. When she ignored him, he spat at her; when she laughed at him after that, he “allegedly took out a sharp instrument, slashed the woman in the arm and then fled.”

Read more...

It’s hard to believe that in 2015, new writing by Mark Twain could suddenly appear. But it has. Bob Hirst and the people of the Mark Twain Project at UC Berkeley searched through old (very old — 150 years old) newspaper archives and found Twain’s articles for the Territorial Enterprise, a newspaper based in Virginia City, Nevada. A lot of the articles were destroyed in fires, but many of stories were reprinted in other papers, and the researchers were able to track those down. A little controversially, some of the work Hirst and the other researchers claim is Twain’s is without a byline, though the group are confident that the style and dates correlate to point at Twain as the only possible author.

The pieces were written in the offices of the San Francisco Dramatic Chronicle, and subsequently sent off for publication. Some highlights include Twain chastising the local police chief, saying he was like a “dog chasing its own tail to show off before his mistress.” Twain also confessed his penchant for falling asleep at the opera, saying that he could “close one eye in an opera and tell Traviata from Trovatore.”

Twain’s duties for the publication involved writing a 2,000 word piece a day. These pieces were supposed to straight journalistic reporting, but under the strain of providing one long piece each day, he pushed his artistic license to the fullest degree. In one article, he quotes word for word the conversation two men had whilst gripping onto a rope for dear life, 70 feet down a gold mine.

Bob Hirst told the SFGate how the unearthed articles shed a completely new light on the pre-Huckleberry and Sawyer Twain:

He was in the middle of an identity crisis…He had not embraced his talent. He was tormented by it.

In a candid letter to his brother, Twain’s full anguish is revealed:

If I do not get out of debt in three months — pistols or poison for one — exit me.

Expect to see the newly found articles in a bookstore near you sometime in 2016. And you can also tick off ‘What to get Dad for his birthday’ from your to do list while you’re at it.

I was a cakey mess yesterday.

Before going onstage at The Today Show I was painted up by a friendly makeup artist wielding a messy palette full of assorted bottles and tubes. Clear gels, paintbrushes, and foam triangles came at me in a blurry daze before I teetered back to the leather couch in a blurry haze.

When I looked in the mirror I noticed my shiny forehead, bumpy cheeks, and bright red zits had just … disappeared. Yes, I was in the clear — the proud new owner of a no-money-down-no-interest-New Face.

“I could get used to this,” I thought to myself as I blinked and curled my lips into a clown-faced grin. My mind flicked forward to scenes sitting cross-legged atop of mountain of pillows as someone gave me a silky smooth New Face while others tenderly clipped my nails, softly brushed my hair, and gently massaged my pointy hunchback.

Jokes aside, the gang at The Today Show was truly, truly wonderful — supportive, thoughtful, and obviously massive pros. Flash forward a few hours later and I was back in my cramped hotel bathroom wiping soggy tissues down my color-fading cheeks. Pimples came back, mustache hairs said hello, and the forehead bumps got bumpy again. But you know what? The massively refreshing feeling of cool air rushing back to my skin more than made up for looking ugly again.

Ladies, you know what I’m talking about.

AWESOME!

Join us on Facebook.

— Email message —

“Using a community pool of crafts from friends I perfected a poster for The Today Show. I woke up way before dawn cracked and hopped on the first train to the city with a friend. The conductor thought the sign was clever as she punched my ticket. We ventured to the studio and eagerly waited in line. Although the smell of free coffee was tempting I didn’t want to lose my spot in line. Security finally let us into the plaza where I pressed against the fence to ensure my sign was seen. We picked a perfect spot and were seen on camera as it panned by the crowd!” – Casey

Photos from: here and here

If there are two things we’ve discovered people really and truly go bonkers for, it’s writing competitions that reap rewards of property for the winner and goats performing jobs. Those two topics have come together in the story of an Alabama couple holding an essay-writing contest to decide who will win their fully functional, mortgage-free goat cheese farm — including its resident goat population of 85.

Here’s the deal: You write the winning essay, and the couple will hand over the farm, house all those goats and all the tools you need to run your own goat cheese business, reports WAAY-TV.

Why would they want to leave now, when their business is growing? Couldn’t making cheese be one of the ultimate ways to live your best life, hypothetically speaking?

The couple wants to move to Costa Rica to help missionaries start goat farms to help the needy there. They tried to sell the property they say is worth $350,000 but realized most people couldn’t afford that. So they changed gears.

They’d read about the Maine innkeeper giving away her establishment and decided to follow her lead: They cleared the plan with a lawyer first, and then announced that they’ll accept essays from people explaining why they want the farm, along with a $150 entry fee. If they get their goal of 2,500 they can cover the rest of the mortgage on the house and give the new owner $20,000 for start-up costs.

“Debt is one of the worst things you can have as a farmer,” he said.

“Not to say they won’t have struggles or stuff to figure out, but they are going to start with a product that has a following,” she added said. “They can pick it up and start running and I am so excited to see where they take it.”

Unversed in the art of making goat cheese? The couple says they’ll stick around to train anyone who wants to go for it and really succeed in the business.

Too Good to be true? Elkmont couple taking essays to give away goat cheese farm [WAAY-TV]

If you know anything about tortas or cemita sandwiches, it's that they're stacked tall with toppings that are are soft or extremely moist like avocado, shredded cheese, refried beans, or chipotle chilies. That means that the right structure is of utmost importance when designing a bun for them. Our cemita bun has a not-too-soft, not-too-dense, rich and tender egg-enriched crumb. Oh, and it's easy to make. Read More

Actress Ellen Albertini Dow, best known for her memorable version of "Rapper's Delight" in "The Wedding Singer,'' died at 101 years old on Monday.

Met Gala done right: here’s Rihanna in Chinese designer Guo Pei looking positively stunning, and not unlike Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

Read more...

Lake Michigan's salmon population continues to nosedive, as biologists scramble to find a replacement for the Chinook's salmon's main food source, the once-persecuted alewife. [ more › ]

“Where in the world is Napoleon’s penis?” seems like a trick question, along the same lines of “Who’s buried in Grant’s Tomb?” But it’s not a riddle. As far as we know, Napoleon’s penis is in New Jersey, while Napoleon himself rests in Paris.

Napoleon died on this day in 1821, likely of stomach cancer, and was originally buried on the island of his exile, St. Helena. At least, most of him was. During the autopsy, the doctor allegedly decided to take Napoleon’s penis, presumably as a bizarre souvenir. The doctor gave it to a priest for safekeeping, and the priest smuggled the part to Corsica. After that, Little Napoleon was passed down as sort of a perverse family heirloom for decades.

In 1924, an American rare books dealer bought the collectible, and allowed it to be displayed at New York’s Museum of French Art. One newspaper reviewed the exhibit and declared that it resembled “a shriveled eel.” Time said it was like a “maltreated strip of buckskin shoelace.” Charming.

The object passed hands a few more times throughout the decades, then was purchased for $3,000 in 1977 by John Lattimer, professor emeritus and former chairman of urology at the Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons. Lattimer was an interesting fellow himself, collecting morbid curiosities such as the blood-stained collar Lincoln was wearing the night he was shot at Ford’s Theater and the glass capsule that contained the cyanide Luftwaffe commander Hermann Göring took to commit suicide.

When Lattimer passed away in 2007, he left the organ to his daughter, Evan. “Dad believed that urology should be proper and decent and not a joke,” she has said, and has thus far followed her father’s example of not exhibiting the Little Corporal.

Of course, it may not even be Napoleon’s. The French Government has apparently never accepted it as such, but thanks to an X-ray taken by Dr. Lattimer, we do know this much: It’s definitely someone’s penis.

Americans might see their political system as rigged against them and in favor of big-money donors, special interests and incumbent members of Congress.

Take away my fancy olive oil, my spices, the peppers I've been air-drying in my fridge. Take my copper-lined sauciers and vintage cast iron. You can have it all, as long as I get to keep my chipotles in adobo. Read More

Kitchen Ghosts recently made a series of mesmerizing cinemagraphs, that take us through a few meal preparations.

Although the animated photographs are beautiful and could be hunger-inducing, cinemagraphs can often be a wee bit creepy. Judge for yourself while watching a semi-lifeless body endlessly pounding a chicken cutlet.

Check out more over at Kitchen Ghosts, and get hungry and/or creeped out… over and over again.

[link, via Colossal]