IKEA Monkey
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Yahoo CEO to Have Twins, Vows 'Limited Time Away'
IKEA MonkeyGood for her. I look forward to the onslaught of articles offering opinions on whether or not she's mothering and businessing right/wrong.
I Said 'Yes' to Everything for a Week and Ended Up in the Hospital
IKEA MonkeyThat escalated quickly
The author in great pain. Photo by Dominik Pichler
I love saying no to things. It's what I do. A friend asked me recently, "Hey Michael, I'm hosting a spontaneous, crazy night of board games at my place with some friends later. Do you wanna come?" I felt like hissing at her. Genital herpes sounded more appealing than a "spontaneous, crazy night of board games."
"You're always so negative," she fumed. "Give it a chance."
Honestly, I don't think very highly of folks who consider a round of board games entertaining. But on some level, she had a point. Maybe I do need to be more positive? Maybe I ought to try new things? So, in the spirit of adventure, I decided that I'd spend a week saying "Yes" to every question I was asked.
Photo by Dominik Pichler
Day 1
From the get-go, it was difficult to find things to say "Yes" to. Probably because I didn't really leave my apartment. Luckily, Facebook was full of glorious clickbait for me to agree to. Yes internet, I would like to know what Kendall Jenner's worst outfit looks like but unfortunately it's not really the point of this project.
Related: My Attempt to Become a Better Person Through CrossFit
Things escalated rather quickly when I visited a restaurant with my friends. "Would you like another glass of wine, sir?" Yep. "Coffee?" Sure. "Would you like to try our creme brûlée?" Of course.
"Wow Michael, you aren't holding back tonight," me friend said. As delicious as the experience was, wine and desserts weren't going to broaden my horizons either. I needed to put more effort into gathering new experiences.
It didn't take long before opportunity came knocking. As soon as I arrived home, an email rattled in from a radio station that had seen my YouTube channel and wanted me to do a one-hour impromptu live show. As a person who gets anxious easily, the idea of live radio scared the life out of me. What if I snort while laughing and the entire country hears it? What if I have a panic attack and pass out? Lying through my teeth, I replied, "Sure, I'd love to."
Photo by Alexander Wagner
Day 2
On the way to the radio station, I felt as if I was going on a Tinder date: Excited, more than a little skeptical, and full of possible excuses to escape if necessary.
After arriving and greeting the staff, I was politely handed a glass of water—which I then proceeded to spill absolutely everywhere. Thankfully, the liquid narrowly avoided the control board. I wouldn't call myself a body language specialist, but it was pretty obvious that at that point a fair few people wanted to kill me.
Aside from that little cock-up, the performance went surprisingly smoothly. I dropped a few wisecracks and juggled calls from enthusiastic listeners. "Haha Tamara, you're really one of a kind!" Though, to be fair, she wasn't.
It was actually a great success.
Watch our documentary, 'Searching for Spitman':
Day 3
The next day, while swanning through the streets, still high from my not entirely shit radio debut, I got stopped by one of those charity clipboard ladies. "Do you have a moment to talk about the rainforest?" FFS.
"Yes, I have plenty of time," I told her. She began reciting her script and I nodded along like some robot programmed to mimic humans. I actually found the whole thing pretty interesting. "So, would you like to adopt a tree?" my new friend asked. Luckily, just then, a text ticked in from my mate. "Do you want to work out together tomorrow?"
My friend—who is ludicrously athletic and gets up at 7 AM to do CrossFit at least three times a week—had been asking me to come check it out for months. As little tears of laziness trickled down my face, I told him I'd love to.
Ready for CrossFit. Photo by Dominik Pichler
Day 4
I'm not athletic at all. Like, at all. If I bought something in Sports Direct, my bank would probably call me to ask if my card had been stolen.
"You know what? I'm not feeling that good! Maybe it's that creme brûlée from a few days ago," I lied. My friend quickly realized that I was dreading the exercise and began trying to placate me. "Don't worry, it's really chill. It's usually just four of us with the trainer and if someone starts burning out, the others will cheer them on."
How did he expect me to relax when he was describing my worst nightmare?
Day 5
I got to the gym at 8 AM. Apparently that was the late lesson. Worryingly, the first thing the trainer said was, "You came on a bad day."
"Yeah. No shit. Any day that starts with CrossFit is a bad day."
"Today, instead of doing all sorts of stuff, we're all just going to do 1,000 kettle bell swings." Oh God.
"You think you can manage?"
"Yes." Again, I was lying.
After just 100 swings, I started sweating profusely. The friction of the iron handles made everyone's hands bleed. By the end of it, my fingers looked as if I'd been high-fiving a blender.
"How many swings have you done, Michael?" the trainer asked me after 30 minutes.
"600," I groaned.
"OK, that's enough. You're already sweating more than you should be." He didn't have to tell me twice.
CrossFit session. Photo by Dominik Pichler
Day 6
After the training session, I was in so much pain that I could barely stand up. Even the clipboard lady who'd harassed me a few days ago looked at me with pity as I limped past her. She could definitely tell that it took me three minutes to clamber into my boxers that morning.
I stumbled into a restaurant bathroom. A short trip that felt like the final hundred feet of a marathon. As soon as I began to piss, I noticed that my urine was a very strange color. I immediately hobbled towards my doctor to find out if I was falling apart.
"You have rhabdomyolysis," she explained. "That means your muscle tissue is breaking down. What did you do to yourself?"
"I did a trial CrossFit session."
She must have been in pain holding the tears of laughter back. I checked into the hospital immediately and was told I'd need to stay there overnight so I could get injections to counteract my heightened "CK count."
"Yes," I replied enthusiastically. That time I actually meant it.
As I lay alone in that hospital room, unable to sleep because of the dripping of my IV, I wondered if this was the "new experience" I'd been looking for. Sure, I wanted to get out of my comfort zone, but I thought that meant eating curiously moldy cheeses or trying Zumba.
Photo by author
Day 7
The following morning, I was told that my blood levels were improving and I was safe to go home. Because of yesterday's turbulence, I had completely forgot to check my messages. Aside from the usual spam, I had a text from my board game obsessed friend. This time she wanted to know if I'd be interested in checking out a ukulele concert. I couldn't help but wonder why I associated with this woman.
Instead of immediately agreeing, I took a moment to reflect on my week. I remembered my intimate conversation with the rainforest lady, the hellish kettle bell swings and, last but not least, my catastrophic hospital stay.
As I typed "no," I felt as if I could breathe again. I pressed send with a satisfied smile and limped out of there, leaving my positive outlook by the hospital bed.
Cops: Job applicant sent naked selfies to HR manager
IKEA Monkeywas that bad, should I not have done that?
Elders Threaten Gang Rape of Two Indian Women as Punishment
IKEA MonkeyWhat the actual fuck

On July 30, 23-year old Meenakshi Kumari and her 15-year-old sister were sentenced to be gang-raped by a group of village elders in the Baghpat district. The sisters weren’t convicted of any crimes, rather their sentence was punishment for their brother’s elopement. Vice reports:
Selling Shame: 40 Outrageous Vintage Ads Any Woman Would Find Offensive
IKEA MonkeyThese are incredible
One vintage ad warns women, “Don’t let them call you SKINNY!” while another promises that smoking cigarettes will keep one slender. If the task of morphing their bodies into the current desirable shape isn’t enough of a burden, women are also reminded that they stink.
In these vintage ads, a woman may be emitting a foul odor from any body part—her armpits, her mouth, her hair, her hands, her lady parts—but she never knows it until her husband is walking out the door, suitcase in hand. And what about her skin? According to such ads, she might drive that man away with her so-called coarse pores, old mouth, tan lines, zits, wrinkles, middle-age skin, hairy legs or lip, visible veins, or horror of all horrors, dishpan hands.
The Do I Offend? blog chronicles such vintage body-shaming advertisements geared toward women, and the baffling shifts from one feminine ideal to the next. Cynthia Petrovic, a Southern California artist known as RedTango who designs and sells a retro-themed gift line, got hooked on these advertisements when she was in college. Now, she has a garage full of antique and vintage magazines, which she’s been slowly pilfering for the most sexist (and funniest) ads targeting women.
For the past couple years, she’s been uploading these ads to Do I Offend?, where she adds a snarky headline and sorts them into categories like “A Weighty Matter,” “Toilet Torment,” and “No Boob Left Behind.” We talked to Petrovic about her collection and what she’s learned about how the ad men on Madison Avenue have gotten rich selling women shame.
Collectors Weekly: How did you first get interested in these ads?
Above: An example from a series of 1930s Waldorf ads about bad toilet paper ruining family life. Click image to see the larger version. Top: Without the right deodorant, this Odo-ro-no ad admonishes, one’s physical appeal is rendered worthless.
Petrovic: When I was in college, I came across a 1930s romance magazine called “True Story” in an antiques store in Orange, California. Flipping through the pages, I found an ad for Waldorf toilet paper, which was a little comic strip. A man has become so cranky toward his wife that their marriage is on the rocks. As it turns out, cheap toilet paper is the thing that’s driving him crazy because it has bits of splinters in it. The couple holds the tissue up to the light, and they see little pieces of wood in it. Waldorf advertised repeatedly in these magazines. In some of the ads, the wife was cranky, and then it was their little girl. Eventually, the whole family was affected by this scourge. I found it so funny.
After that, I got addicted to finding these old romance magazines from the ’30s and ’40s—“True Romance,” “True Story,” and “True Secrets”—as well as the homemaking magazines like “Woman’s Home Companion” and “Ladies’ Home Journal.” But the romance magazines were where I found the ads that really take the cake. They’re the most entertaining, and just shameless. The most common premise is that a woman does not want to offend a man. These ads speculate about whether your husband is going to walk out on you because you’re not using a feminine hygiene product or your scalp smells when you’re dancing or you have undie odor.

In the 1930s, dancing was an important social activity, and shampoo companies wanted women to worry about yet another way they could smell bad.
It’s a laugh to look at how ridiculous these ads are, but the appeal goes beyond the humor. I also have an interest in sociology and psychology, particularly the way we advertise to women and how women are treated by the media in general. I think we, as a society, are extremely cruel to women. I look at these old ads and feel as though nothing has changed. Which is sad because my mom used to go to the women’s lib rallies back in the ’70s, and 40 years later, we’re worse off. We don’t have the same little comic strips making fun of women, but there is still intense pressure for women to fit in, not to offend people, not to be ostracized. In the old ads, you can offend people in myriad ways, with runs in your stockings, by your hair smelling, with bad breath, with your underarm odor. But today, every inch of a woman’s body is scrutinized, especially when it comes to weight.
Collectors Weekly: What prompted you to start a blog about these ads?
Petrovic: I ended up with piles of these vintage magazines stacked up in cupboards in the garage. At one point, I looked at the piles and thought, “If people out there are going to find this interesting and funny, why not share it?” I wanted to do something with it. If it’s going to take up that much space in my life, I should make it useful. What you see on the website now doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what I’ve got to upload. And that’s a year and a half’s worth of me getting on the computer several times a week to scan and upload the ads to the site.
Collectors Weekly: When did this sort of advertisement begin?

Ads in 19th century magazines sold devices to reshape one’s face.
Petrovic: The mass media that breeds insecurity in our culture started in the late 1800s with the spread of magazines. I’ve got ads going back to the 1890s, which offer a lot of contraptions to change your face. The Victorians were really into things that you strap on your face to lift your chin and reform your nose. Every age has its neurotic beauty fixations. They also wanted tight, little waists and the big butts formed by corsets, as well as long, beautiful hair.
In the late 19th century, magazines took over the advice and care of your family. As magazines were available to more and more people, you could read about what to buy, how to take care of your kids, what you should look like, and what you should be thinking and doing. People turned to the magazines to get information and form opinions about themselves. Suddenly strangers were telling people what they should look like, buy, and think. Today, that’s exploded with the Internet.
I noticed a fever pitch building up during the 1930s. By the late ’30s, the advertisers were on a roll. You open up any of these magazines now, and you burst out laughing. But during World War II, I would say about 80 percent of those ads that manipulate you, the ones that say you stink or you’re not socially acceptable on some level, vanished.
Collectors Weekly: On your home page, you talk about how these ads induce shame, guilt, and paranoia.

Lysol disinfectant, which was sold as a douche in the ’30s, produced endless ads showing a man leaving his wife over unspeakable “feminine hygiene” problems.
Petrovic: Yeah, because when you feel good about yourself, you don’t buy stuff. Paranoia, fear, inadequacy—that all sells products. It’s also a part of the ad’s job to create and continually foster an environment where you’re perpetually terrified into purchasing things that don’t work.
Collectors Weekly: According to vintage ads, what are some of the consequences of not using these products?
Petrovic: One is, of course, you’ll be lonely and you won’t have any dates. That’s the worst. The second is that your female friends will talk about you behind your back because you stink. In the 1930s, ads would have a little photo of the bridge game, and the women are whispering, “Oh God, I wish she used deodorant.” The third is that you will not get jobs. You’ll be passed over for promotions because the boss really thinks that you smell, but he’s not going to say anything. A lot of these ads were done during the Depression so you had women desperately trying to get work. Somebody finally tips them off that they need to take a bath because they stink. I’m not saying that this is all ridiculous. There might be some truth to it, but it’s magnified to the point where a woman is taught to blame herself for everything.
Collectors Weekly: Maybe these companies were also acting out of desperation, thanks to the Depression.

When women got thin due to hunger during the Depression, the slender, straight flapper silhouette went out of style. Ironized yeast products promised “skinny” women “weight,” by which they meant larger hips and breasts.
Petrovic: Maybe it was desperate. The economy is tied intrinsically to sexuality, and I like exploring exactly how that works. When there’s less food, heavier people are considered attractive. When you’ve got a lot of food, skinnier people are more attractive. Products that help you put on weight became trendy during the Depression. If you look a little more filled out, you don’t look like you’re deprived.
I am trying to scan and put the body-image variables on the site. Some ads say “Oh, she’s a beanpole. Look at her! She’s too skinny.” In the comics, the guys are like, “Forget it. I don’t even notice her.” Now she’s put on some weight? Oh, yeah, all the men are flocking around. And then there are ads telling you that you need to get rid of the weight because you’ve got to be thin. You can’t keep up. What is it today? What am I supposed to look like now? People don’t have the capability to constantly morph into something new – oh, that’s not in style? Okay, let me flatten my boobs or let me pump my boobs up. Let me get rid of my butt. Now, I’m going to inflate my butt.
Collectors Weekly: I’ve noticed the weight you supposedly gain from products like Wate-On never goes to an undesirable place, like the belly.

Strangely enough, this 19th century device promised to shrink the bust. Perhaps some breasts were considered too disproportionately large for the Victorians’ hourglass ideal?
Petrovic: It always goes right to the chest and the butt, because ads are fantasy. What will happen when your purchase this product and slather it on? Men are lied to as well, especially with beer. That’s the big thing: If you drink this kind of beer, the women are going to come flocking. The fantasy of advertising is not entirely geared toward women, but largely it is.
Collectors Weekly: I noticed that in a lot of these ads, the women also had to impress their husbands' friends or their husbands' bosses.
Petrovic: That theme comes up a lot in the food section of my website, “Hell’s Kitchen.” That’s also about saving money. You’ve got to be very budget-oriented, but still prepare a classy dinner so that your husband feels as though this is a meal “fit for a king.” Even on your tight budget, you are expected to put on a nice meal for when the boss comes over because your husband will get the promotion if your corned beef is perfect and money-saving.

“Husbands admire wives who keep their stockings perfect.” In the 1930s, advertisers wanted women to worry about their “S.A.” or “Stocking Appeal.”
She had to keep her personal appearance up, too. Oh, my God, the horrors! The woman’s stocking runs when the couple is in the middle of a party, and you won’t believe the sneering looks from the husband. It’s as if she’s lying in the gutter. A run in the stocking is something you can’t help sometimes, and people’s disgusted expressions in the ad are completely disproportionate. “Ew, you’ve lost stocking appeal!” The advertisers would come up with these insulting little catchphrases, like “S.A.,” or “stocking appeal.”
Keep in mind, during the Depression women didn’t have a lot of extra money to spend on another pair of stockings. Oh, my gosh, it’s torn! What are you going to do? You probably can’t go to Rite-Aid, because there were no Rite-Aids open at 9 or 10 p.m. back then. You’re stuck at the party with a ripped stocking, and it’ll probably end your marriage.
Collectors Weekly: In addition to stocking tears, it surprised me what a big deal “dishpan hands” were back then.

In 1930s ads, “dishpan hands” threatened marriages.
Petrovic: It’s something nobody ever talks about these days, dishpan hands. I remember back in the early ’70s, an ad for Palmolive showed a woman dipping her hands in the dish water because their soap was supposed to be a beauty treatment at the same time. Besides things like Palmolive, we also have dishwashers now, so advertisers had to try some other way of marketing that product, like focusing on convenience. Back in the 1930s, a wife’s hands spent a lot of time in hot water, but she had to stay beautiful.
Also, big pores were really terrible for some reason. Anxieties go in and out of style, and people were hooked on having attractive pores for a while. We’ve always got to find something new to worry about. Today, the focus is your stomach, which has to be punched back into shape. We come up with new terms to make fun of body parts, like “cankles” and “bingo wingos,” and then we start using them. “I can’t go out in my swimsuit because I’ve got bingo wingos.” We accept it and adopt it as reality.
Collectors Weekly: It’s amazing how many different ways you can smell bad.

In this ad, pretty Joan has no idea why she’s so unpopular. At night, her undergarments gossip about her careless washing habits and the odor they’ve been emitting.
Petrovic: Yeah, the advertisers got really creative with that in the 1930s. As a bonus, they’ve also instructed you on how to do the “armhole test” so that you can smell your own funk and determine whether you’re acceptable or not for a night out. Maybe people just didn’t wash as much—which brings me to my favorite ad.
This one is the prize, the reason why I collect these, a crowning achievement. Whoever thought it up in the ad department needs an award. A woman is in bed asleep, and her underthings are hanging on a chair nearby—slip, girdle, bra. And they’re whispering about her. They’re saying, “She would’ve been more popular if she had washed us” with the soap the ad is shilling. Literally, her underwear is gossiping about her. You can’t get more demented than that.
Collectors Weekly: I love how the woman is always wondering whether her husband thinks she smells bad. Why doesn’t she just ask him?
Petrovic: I thought about that, too. It seems like a lot of the marital dilemmas in these ads could be solved if the couple just talked. But it’s got to get to the point where he literally puts his hat on, picks up the suitcase, and rushes out the door in disgust. There are ads that illustrate that very plainly: He’s going to rush out the door while she’s sitting there crying into her handkerchief. Somebody else has to come and clue her in, or maybe she goes to the doctor. I don’t know whether people didn’t communicate and talk the same way they might now, or whether the ads would’ve made somebody laugh back then. I’d like to know.
Collectors Weekly: For example, would a woman’s date ever be so offended if her skirt is gaping at the button?
“She’s a girl in a million! Pretty and smart. Dances divinely. Can even cook. But she’s ruining her chances by having ‘gap-osis.’” That is, gaps where her skirt buttons. Click image to see larger version.
Petrovic: No, a guy would be amused at that. He probably wouldn’t say anything because he would enjoy peeking at her underwear. He definitely wouldn’t be choking on a sandwich in disgust. Men are never as critical of a woman’s body as women are, whether they’re talking about themselves or others.
Collectors Weekly: What are some of the most dangerous products were targeted toward women?
Petrovic: A big product that was advertised for women’s personal hygiene starting in the 1920s was Lysol. In those ads, they didn’t say you can use it as a douche and to clean your floor. Now, we’re just cleaning floors with it. Can you imagine the injury that was done? Some of these products were toxic. From the 1930s to the 1960s, the makers of Kotex sold something called Quest deodorant powder to sprinkle on your menstrual pads, and that chemical gave women cervical cancer. Still, today, how careful are we with the beauty products we sell people? Many cosmetics even now contain known carcinogens.
Collectors Weekly: How else were women shamed about menstruation?
Petrovic: Many 1930s ads actually treat the period with a kind of maturity that flies in the face of the rest of the ads. They’re telling menstruating women, “Go ahead, enjoy your life.” They’re showing women on horseback or doing other stuff that you probably wouldn’t do: wearing white pants, playing tennis, going out to dinner, going to the theater. Early Midol ads say, “You’re going to have a great time, and the pain won’t bother you. Don’t let your period get in the way.” That’s a very modern idea. This is 80 years ago, and they’re telling women, “Get out and live your life.” I like that. That’s different from the rest of the ads that say, “You’re no good. You’ve got to fix yourself.”
Collectors Weekly: How did ads insulting women evolve in the mid-20th century?

According to Tangee in the 1930s, a woman’s lips could be too red, smeary, glaring, and painted for a man to kiss.
Petrovic: Like I said, there were periods of time where the woman-shaming ads seemed to recess into the background. During wars, maybe you knuckle down a little bit, but then when the war is over, it bursts back out again. These ads resurfaced after World War II, but from what I can tell, they matured a little bit. During the late ’40s and early ’50s, the ads targeting women just didn’t reach the same peaks of insanity they did before the war, but you would still have ads for Kotex and the practical stuff that you need. In the ’50s and ’60s, you started to see ads for breast enlargement. Then during the ’70s, we underwent a big social revolution where women stood up, and said, “We’re not going to be treated as objects anymore.” But even then, the shaming ads didn’t completely disappear. In that decade, you still had companies using those tactics to sell deodorants and breast-enhancement products.
Collectors Weekly: That early ’70s ad boasting about all the attractive women who weren’t good enough to become flight attendants is amazing.
Petrovic: That was right when the women’s lib movement was going strong, and women were saying, “We’re not going to be playing traditional female roles anymore, we’re going to get out into the world, really get out in the workforce, and make our stand.” Still, these ads popped up. Through all of that turmoil and social change that was going on back then, there was still this ad that says, “We only pick the prettiest women to be flight attendants.” It just never dies.
Collectors Weekly: How does this sort of shaming manifest today?
The qualifications for Eastern Airlines stewardesses in the 1970s: “Sure, we want her to be pretty … That’s why we look at her face, her make-up, her complexion, her figure, her weight, her legs, her grooming, her nails, and her hair. But we don’t stop there.” Click image to see larger version.
Petrovic: Nothing’s really changed. Ads and the media still insist that you have to be physically perfect and socially acceptable to avoid embarrassment. Seriously, look at the world today. Women are more objectified than ever. It’s changed form. I don’t think you’re going to see the same kinds of magazine ads we had back in the 1930s, but back then, people didn’t have the Internet and the tremendous mass media the way we do now. What we see now are women-against-women cat fights and women being taught to hate their bodies in a different way through snide remarks in television shows, reality shows celebrating bad behavior, and trash tabloid websites. It’s a different kind of assault, not just through products but also through images and memes constantly reminding women that there are other women that look better than they do.
In our gossip-obsessed culture, everybody is expected to be 20 years old forever and sexually available. Even when you’re pregnant, you’ve got to be hot. What makes me sick is that there’s no moment of a woman’s life from birth to death where she’s not supposed to be “on” sexually, starting with Bratz dolls and padded bras for girls to stories of women in their 60s and 70s getting breast implants. Everything is about being skinny now, because only the rich can afford to buy organic groceries at Whole Foods and do the crazy detox diets. Most overweight people are poor, because they can only afford fattening fast food. But all the ads on Facebook and all the lead stories on the covers so-called health magazines are about losing belly fat, which links them to the shaming magazine ads of the past. What’s particularly brutal about the way the media beats up on women today is that it’s not just in magazines, it’s everywhere you look.
More Ads That Find Fault With Women



























How Chicago girl got to sing for Pope Francis
IKEA MonkeySING FOR ME, MY ANGEL OF MUSIC
Oliver Sacks’ Final Essays Demystified Dying
IKEA MonkeyI have been reading and studying more about death, being open to the concept and reality of it. I feel that a more positive approach - practical, humane, and peaceful - can help demystify death and encourage its acceptance as the natural end of our lives, and allow us to accept and live richly through the denouement of the time that we are all (mostly) allowed.

Americans’ relationship to death has often struck me as being an extension of our puritan attitudes about sex — both are objects of lurid fascination and prudish avoidance. We sentimentalize mortality with tearful, unrealistic deathbed scenes — or dramatic mid-fight demises — in pop culture. Memorial tribute songs, the schmaltzier the better, rocket up the charts. Certain persistent and vocal activist groups tend towards publicly agonizing about the fate of “innocent” human embryos or animals — yet many Americans could care less about the deaths of oppressed people at the hands of the state, or from neglect.
Talking about death in a pragmatic manner, for some reason, is always treated as inciting fear; the mere mention of end-of-life care in healthcare reform debates instigated the noxious “death panel” scare. Our pathology is particularly strong around cancer. We talk about cancer like it’s some sort of tussle or fight, or a video game that we can beat. As painful as this sort of talk can be for those whose cancer is terminal, it also makes little sense for those who achieve remission. The reality is, cancer can never be fully defeated, nor can mortality. Our lives all end. Death is always waiting down the road.
Oliver Sacks, the popular scientific writer who made his name writing “case studies” of people with strange brain conditions that altered their consciousness, passed away this weekend. But we knew he was going to die, because he was remarkably forthright about the end of his life in a series of essays for the New York Times (“My Own Life,” “My Periodic Table,” and “Sabbath“) that repeatedly, bluntly, and honestly referred to his impending death — not only its inevitability, but also the way it increasingly affected his consciousness as he grew sicker and could no longer deny the reality.
For one doctor, writing in the Guardian, this progressive admission wasn’t just touching; it was important. Australian oncologist Ranjana Srivastava felt it had ramifications for her work, and her field. “Now he reminds us with all the poise and dignity we have come to expect of him that there is value in embracing our mortality, that there is an art to dying,” she wrote last month, after reading one of Sacks’ columns.
Srivastava is referring in part to the issue that Atul Gawande also explored in his 2014 book Being Mortal. “Our reluctance to honestly examine the experience of aging and dying has increased the harm we inflict on people and denied them the basic comforts they most need,” Gawande wrote. “Lacking a coherent view of how people might live successfully all the way to their very end, we have allowed our fates to be controlled by the imperatives of medicine, technology, and strangers.” Rather than the kind of palliative care that would allow the dying to sum up their lives and say goodbye, Gawande chronicles how we often opt for invasive treatment that could prolong life, but so often doesn’t.
Americans’ fascination with Brittany Maynard, the young woman who chose to die on her own terms when she was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, shows that on some level we understand this problem and are seeking examples of dignity in death. And the oncologist Srivastava writes that she thinks that Sacks’ work can actually help both doctors and patients make more honest choices, and have better discussions about those choices:
This recognition allows patients to halt toxic treatment, opt for effective palliation and articulate their goals for the end of life.It permits their oncologist to open up new conversations that don’t include the latest million-dollar blockbuster therapy with a bleak survival curve but do mention the therapeutic benefit of teaming up with hospice workers to write letters, preserve photos and record memories. I would say that this candid admission from a patient is the difference between bemoaning death as a medical failure and viewing life as a welcome gift.
One of the most striking things about Sacks’ pieces is that they are so little occupied with his medical situation, and place much more emphasis on his human one. A few sentences here and there about his various treatments lead him to his most pressing concern: how to find meaning, connection, and some fun in his last months (a trip to visit lemurs, for instance). “Weak, short of breath, my once-firm muscles melted away by cancer, I find my thoughts, increasingly, not on the supernatural or spiritual, but on what is meant by living a good and worthwhile life — achieving a sense of peace within oneself,” he wrote in “Sabbath,” his final essay which reflects on his Orthodox Jewish upbringing, the pain of being rejected by his family for his sexuality, and the joy of a late-life relationship after a period of “monkish” living.
But he also addresses, again and again, the finality of what’s coming. “I have been increasingly conscious, for the last 10 years or so, of deaths among my contemporaries. My generation is on the way out, and each death I have felt as an abruption, a tearing away of part of myself,” he writes in “My Own Life.” “There will be no one like us when we are gone, but then there is no one like anyone else, ever. When people die, they cannot be replaced. They leave holes that cannot be filled, for it is the fate — the genetic and neural fate — of every human being to be a unique individual, to find his own path, to live his own life, to die his own death.”
What Travel Destinations Weren't What You Expected?
IKEA MonkeyI was less than thrilled with Prague.
Some Jerk Secretly Airbnb'd His Roommate's Wicker Park Condo
IKEA MonkeyIts horrifying but also kind of funny
Yes, it sounds like exactly the kind of sitcom-plot scam that could only end in disaster. [ more › ]Watch This Wiener Dog Escape His People and Run Forever and Ever and Ever
Cry-Baby of the Week: A Woman Faked Being Kidnapped to Get Out of Going to Work
IKEA MonkeySecond guy. Who hasn't told a lie about not wanting to go to work? This kid is gonna be insufferable.
It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:
Cry-Baby #1: Beverly Brooks
Screencap via Google Maps
The incident: A woman didn't want to go to work.
The appropriate response: Finding another job or complaining about your current job until you retire or die (whichever comes first).
The actual response: She pretended she'd been kidnapped.
According to a report on Panama City's News Herald, Beverly Brooks (pictured above) failed to return from a break at her job as a nurse assistant in an area hospital early in the morning last Monday.
A concerned coworker reportedly called Beverly to ask where she was and if she needed a ride back to work. According to police, Beverly told the coworker that she was not returning to work as she was being held against her will by her boyfriend. As she said this, the coworker could allegedly hear the boyfriend in the background telling the woman she was not allowed out of his car.
The coworker called 9-1-1. This led to a reported six separate law enforcements taking part in a search for Beverly that lasted several hours.
She was eventually found in a car with her boyfriend. According to police, Beverly admitted that she had made up the kidnapping as she didn't want to return to work.
She and her boyfriend were both arrested on charges of false reports of commission of crime. So, presumably, she should get a few more days off work, at least.
Cry-Baby #2: Some students at Duke University
Images via Amazon and Google Maps
The incident: Some students at a university were asked to read the graphic novel Fun Home as part of a summer reading program.
The appropriate response: Reading it. Or Wikipedia'ing what it's about then pretending you read it.
The actual response: Several students refused to read the book, claiming the sex depicted in the book violated their religious beliefs.
As part of their annual summer reading program, Duke University in Durham, North Carolina provided incoming freshmen with a list of recommended books. One of the books on the list was Fun Home, an autobiographical graphic novel by Alison Bechdel which focuses on the author coming to terms with her homosexuality, as well her relationship with her father, who was a closeted homosexual.
According to a report on the Duke Chronicle, an incoming freshman named Brian Grasso made a post on the school's Class of 2019 Facebook page explaining why he was not willing to read the book. "I feel as if I would have to compromise my personal Christian moral beliefs to read it," Brian wrote.
The Chronicle reports that another student "could not bring herself to view the images depicting nudity," and another told the publication that he would not read it due to its "pornographic nature."
Brian, the student who made the Facebook post, also wrote an op-ed for the Washington Post earlier this week where he went into more depth about his decision not to read the book.
"After researching the book's content and reading a portion of it, I chose to opt out of the assignment," Brian wrote. "My choice had nothing to do with the ideas presented. I'm not opposed to reading memoirs written by LGBTQ individuals or stories containing suicide. I'm not even opposed to reading Freud, Marx, or Darwin. I know that I'll have to grapple with ideas I don't agree with, even ideas that I find immoral."
He added that he would not be reading the book because the Bible forbids people from looking at pornographic images. "My beliefs extend to pop culture and even Renaissance art depicting sex," he wrote.
Brian also believes that his professors have a duty to warn him when he might possibly be exposed to a boob: "And I believe professors should warn me about such material, not because I might consider them offensive or discomforting, but because I consider it immoral."
Who here is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll down here, please:
Winner: It's a draw!!!
Follow Jamie Lee Curtis Taete on Twitter.
Sorry, Corpse Flower Fans—The Chicago Botanic Garden's Stinky 'Spike' Won't Bloom
IKEA Monkey:(
Rare corpse flower refuses to bloom
IKEA Monkey:(
KY Clerk Refusing to Issue Gay Marriage Licenses Will Take Case to Supreme Court
IKEA MonkeyIts your fucking job, you 4-times-married hypocrite

Kim Davis, the Kentucky County Court clerk who has persistently refused to issue gay marriage licenses, has asked the Supreme Court to hear her case. Davis, an Apostolic Christian, has refused to issue the licenses for religious reasons, claiming that to do so would undermine her First Amendment freedoms.
Carl's Jr. / Hardee's Unveil New French Toast Breakfast Sandwich
IKEA MonkeyHey, we helped make this product! Not as cool as a monster truck rally commercial but I did SOMETHING.
The sweet and savory combination features a folded egg, American cheese, a choice of sausage, ham, or bacon, and maple syrup sauce, sandwiched between two sliced of Cinnamon Swirl French Toast.
The sister chains have teamed up with undefeated UFC Women's champion, Ronda Rousey, to promote the new sandwich in a TV spot that will premiere nationally on August 31, 2015.
Pricing on the Cinnamon Swirl French Toast Breakfast Sandwich starts at $2.99 for just the sandwich and at $4.69 for a combo meal that also includes hash browns and a drink (prices may vary).
Some of you might remember when the sandwich was spotted in test last year here in Southern California.
Nutritional Info - Carl's Jr. Cinnamon Swirl French Toast Breakfast Sandwich with Sausage (191g)
Calories - 580 (from Fat - 310)
Fat - 34g (Saturated Fat - 15g)
Sodium - 1110mg
Carbs - 50g (Sugar - 17g)
Protein - 20g
Nutritional Info - Hardee's Cinnamon Swirl French Toast Breakfast Sandwich with Sausage (182g)
Calories - 560 (from Fat - 270)
Fat - 31g (Saturated Fat - 12g)
Sodium - 1140mg
Carbs - 50g (Sugar - 16g)
Protein - 21g
Soothe Yourself With "Drunk Tank" Pink
IKEA MonkeyFascinating
The next time you need a time out, try thinking pink.
Holy Shit, Usain Bolt
IKEA MonkeyIf that guy hurt him, I'd be suing so hard

Over the last couple of years, there’s been no reason to think Usain Bolt could be as dominant in Rio as he was in Beijing or London. He’ll turn 30 during those games, for one. For another, he sat out many of the big races since 2013, and lost a lot of time to nagging hamstring troubles last year. Then he went and won the 100m at Worlds on Sunday. This morning, he did this. Usain Bolt is most definitely back .
http://deadspin.com/usain-bolt-is-...
Sweet Dad Chief Keef Named His Baby 'Sno FilmOn Dot Com' After His Record Label <3
IKEA MonkeySorry what?
America Has Lost The War Against Guns
IKEA Monkey"That’s because guns are tools conceived, built, and used for the primary purpose of killing living things very quickly and with very little effort. They are perfect, and whether men and women and children and babies use them correctly or incorrectly, people get maimed or killed. For this reason, it should be illegal, as it is in most of the world, for most citizens to own guns."

Yesterday morning in Roanoke, Va., a man named Vester Lee Flanagan walked up to newscaster Alison Parker and cameraman Adam Ward as they were filming a segment for local TV station WDBJ, and, using a handgun, shot them to death. (He also critically wounded Vicki Gardner, the woman Parker and Ward were interviewing; after fleeing the scene, he shot and killed himself.) We know this, because we saw this. The murders were captured by Ward’s own camera; Flanagan also recorded the murders from his perspective.http://gawker.com/everything-we-...
Drone pilot spots man sunbathing atop 200-foot-tall wind turbine
IKEA MonkeyNope
Kevin Miller was flying his camera-equipped drone around a wind turbine in Rhode Island and spotted a man sunbathing on top. The sunbather waved to the drone then probably wished the drone would buzz off.

New York Bagel Places Put Way Too Much Cream Cheese on Their Bagels
IKEA MonkeyIts true
There’s nothing quite like a good New York bagel with cream cheese. First, you bite through the crisp outer crust; then you move on to the chewy, bubbly crumb; and finally, of course, everything is overpowered by an enormous mouthful of cold white goop.
This Is One Place You Don't Want to Have a Birthday Party
IKEA MonkeyDEAL WITH IT, TAJIKISTAN, I"M PARTYING TODAY WOOOO
Viral Miscarriage Vlogger Sam Rader Kicked Out of Conference After Threatening Violence
IKEA MonkeyThis guy is unraveling

According to reports from other vloggers who attended the conference, the viral Christian vlogger Sam Rader was ejected from the Vlogger Fair conference in Seattle yesterday for “threatening violence” against one or more people. This incident allegedly occurred just one day after Sam admitted to using a paid account on the cheating website Ashley Madison.http://gawker.com/viral-christia...
Liv-the-Border-Collie-Mix
IKEA Monkeylittle French Alp doggie
Review: Jack in the Box - Portabello Mushroom Buttery Jack
IKEA MonkeyJ in the B was always a solid fast food stop back in CA. After their brush with e coli they had to step up their game or be crushed, and they really did. Everything I've ever gotten there was good quality and tasted good, for fast food. Curly fries forever.
It goes for $4.99 in my area but I received this courtesy of Jack in the Box.
I've had pretty good experiences with the Buttery Jack line so far and the Portabello Mushroom version was no exception.
The onions were caramelized for a nice sweetness but retained a good amount of watery crispness.
The beef was thick and moist with an enjoyable seasoned flavor that was further complemented by a lot of melted butter... maybe too much butter (Le gasp! I know. I can't believe I said that either). My bottom bun was actually soaked with it. So yeah, it was very buttery.
I didn't really notice the peppery quality of the mayo over all the butter.
Overall, Jack in the Box's Portabello Mushroom Buttery Jack was really good all around if a bit overly rich due to the butter (not really complaining). Both the mushrooms and Swiss cheese are front and center. Compared to Carl's Jr.'s recently-introduced Mushroom & Swiss All-Natural Burger, I have to tip my hat to Jack's version, which is smaller but comes with a much thicker, meatier patty and better quality mushrooms and Swiss.
Nutritional Info - Jack in the Box Portobello Mushroom Buttery Jack (275g)
Calories - 807 (Calories from Fat - 462)
Fat - 51g (Saturated Fat - 23g)
Sodium - 1081mg
Carbs - 51g (Sugar - 12g)
Protein - 38g
News in Brief: Oh God, Invitation To Lunch Somehow Trickled Down To Office Weirdos
IKEA MonkeyExhibit 3
MEDFORD, OR—Recoiling at the sight of the two coworkers waiting for them in the lobby, employees from local company Core Analysts stated Monday that their invitation to head out and grab lunch had somehow trickled down to the office weirdos. “Crap, how did Joel [Seltz] and Matt [Heiser] hear about this?” said office manager Evan Coss, mentally recalibrating his expectations for a pleasant midday meal at Buffalo Wild Wings with friends to now include a series of labored asides in which he would make cursory attempts to engage his two bland, awkward colleagues over mozzarella sticks. “I sure as hell didn’t tell them about this—they must have heard Craig say we were meeting in the lobby at noon. Well, lunch is ruined. I wonder if I should just call it a bust, claim I have some work that needs to get out, and head back upstairs.” At ...
Critic Says New River North Restaurant Represents 'Everything Wrong With Humanity'
IKEA MonkeyThis is, without question, the greatest restaurant review I have ever read.
It's in River North, it's overpriced, and it serves seafood. Can you guess which restaurant it is? [ more › ]







