At the beginning of this week, we took inspiration from reader Tom’s photo of a margarine tub, and asked our readers to send in your favorite funny store-brand product names. They could be fanciful or funny in their descriptive bluntness: they just had to be funny. You submitted plenty: let’s unload this grocery cart of amusement.
From Canada, Daniel sent along his favorite store-brand lemon-lime sodas: President’s Choice Spritz Up, and IGA’s Choose Up.
Hy-Top’s Panburger Partner is perfect, somehow inventing the perfect name for ground hamburger and pasta in a pan.
Spooki sent along Price Chopper’s Nutty Nuggets, which are store-brand Grape Nuts.
Michael found versions of Chex at Market Basket that are quite descriptive.
Another submission from up Ty north: this IGA version of Froot Loops is called “Fruity Hoops” in English and “Fruits Rigolos” (Funny Fruits) in French, leaving us to wonder what the French word for “Froot” is.
Another unhealthy cereal choice over at Aldi is Cocoa Peanut Butter Spheres, which is a classic right up there with Crispy Hexagons.
There’s something about creating generic alternatives for I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter that bring out the best and worst in marketers.
Melissa sent along two, Fareway’s “Could it be Butter?”
Making your product’s name a question invites people to say “no,” which may not be what they intended. Isn’t the point here to not be butter?
She also points out Hy-Vee’s version, Best Thing Since Butter, which is a spread that contains some dairy.
All of the good names must have been trademarked by the time Acme got in the game. Robin sent this picture along:
Oh man, if you want to cry and/or want to call your parents, watch Tokyo Story. I mean this in a good way.
Setsuko Hara, the luminous Japanese movie star of the 1940s and ’50s, has died. Best known today for the films she made with director Yasujirô Ozu, the prolific and popular Hara starred in more than 100 movies before unexpectedly retiring from acting and public life in the early ’60s. Refusing to grant interviews or make public appearances, she lived the rest of her life in de facto seclusion. Hara died of pneumonia on September 5, the news of her death only being made public today. She was 95.
Born Masae Aida in Yokohama, Hara entered the film world with the help of her brother-in-law, a contract director at the Nikkatsu studio. She made her screen debut at age 15, in 1935’s Don’t Hesistate, Young Folks. Her first big starring role came in the notorious German-Japanese co-production The Daughter Of The Samurai (1937), co-directed by Arnold Fanck, the mountaineering-obsessed ...
Christmas is only a month away, so don’t forget to stock up on this year’s hottest toy: it’s a squish balls that look vaguely like herpes sores named Bunchems, and their primary claim to fame is that they’ll get stuck in your kids’ hair forever.
The GOP front-runner reiterated past claims about his supposed vision Tuesday by talking about his alleged foresight regarding Osama bin Laden — and predicting "terrorism" in general.
I don't know if I "love" her, but her voice is absolutely incredible, the amount of control and precision while also having a richness and depth - its just beautiful. Her songs are sappy but she sings them so well.
In the lead-up to the release of 25, the new album from Adele, the news cycle was flooded with various “industry people” in a tizzy, falling over themselves to count Adele’s money with useless predictions of how many copies of her record she’d sell and what records she’d break.
Part of this is because she’s a commercial force, selling recordings at a clip entirely out of proportion to the rest of the industry — even outliers like Taylor Swift. Part of this is because since her tour for 21, she’s remained mostly out of the public eye. But very little of it appears to have anything to do with the actual music.
When we think of a pop star with her stature and sales power, it’s worth asking: Just what exactly do people love about Adele? Why do they run out and immediately buy whatever she makes? It’s not just because being sad is trending; 21 was heartbreaking, but 25 is more triumphant. And yes, it’s obviously first and foremost about the voice, which is stunning, and powerful, and singular. But it’s also her relatively unheralded skill as a pop songwriter that draws people to her.
Yes, she works with co-writers, but she’s not showing up at the end to change a lyric and take a share of the publishing. Often songs are built around riffs she writes on guitar (“Hometown,” “Someone Like You”), and she writes lyrics about the human experience that are ready-made for self-identification. These are simple concepts of doubt, longing, love, healing, and regret, but through her voice, it becomes transcendent. It’s so strong, so massive that it has gravitational pull. It’s not hard to make the song she wrote about her life be about yours.
Since 21, Adele has had surgery on her vocal cords after a hemorrhage that forced her to cancel tour dates, and in the aftermath, added four notes to the top of her range. She scrapped rushed recording sessions after some real talk from her manager and the producer Rick Rubin, who said he didn’t “believe” her. The finished product, which is very believably Adele, was put together by collaborators old (Paul Epworth, Ryan Tedder) and new (Bruno Mars, Tobias Jesso Jr, Max Martin).
“Send My Love (To Your New Lover),” her collaboration with Max Martin and his protege Shellback, is bouncier than anything she’s ever done, and lyrically, is almost Swift-ian with its “I’m fucking fine so fuck you” sentiment — unsurpring, perhaps, since it was “I Knew You Were Trouble” that led Adele down the path to seek out Martin. She channels Elton John on her favorite track on the new record, the Tobias Jesso Jr collabo “When We Were Young.” Brian Burton (Danger Mouse) sampled her voice to create eerie choral organ chords on “River Lea,” an ode to her youth. She scrapped initial plans to make a modern pop song with electronic sounds for her collaboration with The Smeezingtons, but ended up stripping everything down to sing the hell out of “All I Ask,” hitting notes higher than we’ve ever heard her sing. And on the Paul Epworth track “Sweetest Devotion,” the clean tones of the electric guitar almost sound out of place — in a way that’s refreshing rather than disconcerting.
But let’s get real. At the end of the day, it’s not just some new production technique, or the fact that she looks like an everywoman, or that she writes excellent pop songs, or that she’s relatable in a way that most pop stars are not that have rocketed her to superstardom. It’s the voice. Without it, none of the rest matters. You can’t escape it.
The BBC recently played a cute prank on a handful of Adele impersonators, where she wore prosthetics on her face to hide amongst them as a fellow impersonator. She plays along at the fake audition, acts nervous, and even talks shit about how long “she’s” taking with the new record. But once it’s her turn to sing, the jig is up within seconds, as the first woman notices it was her almost immediately: “As soon as she opened her mouth, you could just tell,” she said. “You can’t mimic like that.” And it’s true. Maybe the reason people are so entranced by Adele really is that simple. Her voice is just that incredible. As James Corden, the host of the 2011 Brit Awards, said of her performance at the ceremony:
“You can have all the dancers, pyrotechnics, laser shows you want, but if you sound like that, all you need is a piano. Incredible.”
For a holiday with a relatively fixed menu and, in most homes, an unrivaled predictability, Thanksgiving still manages to surprise us year after year. Whether it's a burnt turkey, one parent's dramatic antics, or an unforeseen tragedy, we've seen our share of Thanksgivings go horribly awry. Of course, that's not counting the triumphs—the rescued birds, the perfect expat's dinner, the communal moments you actually treasure, no matter how corny. In either case, the one thing Thanksgiving always is? Memorable. We asked the Serious Eats staff about the very best and worst Turkey Days they've experienced. Here's what they had to say.
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I made homemade sliders one time, with a steam griddle and the onions and everything. Alton Brown had a segment on how to make them and I just followed his instructions. They were a bit of work but came out great. /Cool story bro
White Castle's Original Slider features a steam-grilled 2x2-inch beef patty with a slice of pickle or two plus onions on a steamed bun.
I bought one for 71 cents and also picked up a Cheese Slider, which adds a piece of American cheese, for 89 cents.
They don't have these in California but I managed to try them on a trip out of state.
The onions definitely make the slider. The patties were steamed on top of the onions, which were cooked until tender and wonderfully caramelized. It provided a strong accent to the beef as well as some sweetness.
The beef was very thin but moist from the steaming with a slight bit of onion notes from the cooking process.
The pickle offered a cleansing bite that contrasted with the more savory aspects of the slider.
The slider was surprisingly very airy and soft, perhaps almost overly so. It's satisfying in its own way but definitely different from your standard burger bun.
The cheese on the Cheese Slider was mostly melted save for the edges and made for a proper gooey mess.
Overall, I enjoyed White Castle's Original Slider very much. The simplicity of it highlighted the essence of each component, which were each fairly well done. I'd definitely go with the cheese version over the original as the cheese complements everything nicely and provides an added textural element.
Nutritional Info - White Castle Original Slider (55g) Calories - 140 (from Fat - 60) Fat - 6g (Saturated Fat - 2.5g) Sodium - 360mg Carbs - 13g (Sugar - 1g) Protein - 7g
I could have named 3, 2 and 1 right now. All classics.
Prince Paul and De La Soul popularized the hip-hop skit, and Dr. Dre turned the concept cinematic, but the nine-man Wu-Tang Clan raised it to the level of esoteric art. Mixing stream-of-blunted-consciousness talk with pulp-fiction plot twists, copious gunshots, and equal parts skewed humor and authentic anger, Wu skits became etched into the pop-culture landscape right from the early-’90s jump-off.
More than a year ago, ABC ordered a female-led police procedural called Broad Squadthat has since entered a TV purgatory from which it may never escape. However, not to be deterred from the business of making rhyming ’70s cop dramas whose leads aren’t white males, its creators have now landed a series called Soul Patrol at CBS. If you haven’t already guessed, Variety reports the show “revolves around a unique, highly effective task force comprised entirely of African-American police officers” who are hired early in the ’70s to more adequately address crime in “previously neglected” parts of Boston.
Just like Broad Squad, the show is both inspired by true events and produced by Aaron Kaplan’s Kapital Entertainment and Alexandra Lydon. Niels Mueller will also produce and write the script. Presumably, any climactic scenes from the pilot for Broad Squad will be reworked to take place in ...
President Obama and French President Hollande gave a joint press conference at the White House today at noon to discuss the war against ISIS, but the real excitement began well before they arrived, when the camera made completely accidental love to CNN’s Jim Acosta for approximately 30 minutes.
The Centre for Students With Disabilities at the University of Ottawa has shut down a yoga class, designed to be inclusive towards people with disabilities, because “there are cultural issues of implication involved in the practice.”
Oh, this is for Erin, except Erin you are totally socially equipped. I hate equating "love of the darkness" with "socially ill-equipped". Some of us love the darkness, and we also just love to hang out!!
Somewhere in the tangles of your friend group or your family tree, there is a spooky person. As a teenager they liked — melodramatically loved, perhaps — Tim Burton; as an adult, their tastes hew to Nick Cave, the Criterion collection, and probably stuff with owls on it. It either strikes you as adorable or incredibly pretentious, depending on your mood, but it’s also surprisingly easy to shop for. Below, a helpful guide for gifts to suit your favorite melancholy, darkness-loving, and socially ill-equipped person.
Cool, cool, yeah tell me how Trump isn't race baiting this shit
At least five people were wounded in a shooting Monday night near a Black Lives Matter protest in Minneapolis. The suspects, described by witnesses as three masked white men, are still at large.
Popeyes' Banana Pudding Parfait features a bottom layer of crushed vanilla wafers, a middle layer of banana pudding, and a top layer of whipped cream topped with a Nilla (or Nilla-like) vanilla wafer and a sprinkle of crushed vanilla wafers.
I picked one up for $1.69.
The pudding delivered a strong banana flavor with a smooth consistency but was a tad too sweet.
There's a nice balance between the whipped cream, banana pudding, and crushed wafers.
The wafers offered an enjoyable vanilla flavor but were a bit on the soft side rather than crispy. It's understandable given that, like similar fast food products, these seem to be packaged rather than made at the restaurant.
Overall, Popeyes' Banana Pudding Parfait was pretty good. It hit the right notes between the banana and vanilla wafers although it could use some piece of banana and crunchy cookies.
Fourteen-year-old Lucas Etter is now the Roger Bannister of the Rubik’s cube. On Saturday, Etter became the first person to solve a Rubik’s cube in less than five seconds under sanctioned competitive conditions. That’s the kind of breakthrough that Bannister made in 1954 when he became the first person to run a mile in less than four minutes. Etter’s time was 4.90 seconds, 0.35 seconds better than the record-holder going into Saturday’s competition, Collin Burns.14 The chart above shows the progression of the official world record, according to the World Cube Association.
In these competitions, the colorful cubes are randomly scrambled according to a computer program, and a solver has 15 seconds to inspect a cube before racing to spin it back to its organized state. The first official record — 22.95 seconds — was set at the first world championship, held in 1982 in Hungary, home country of the cube’s inventor, Erno Rubik. But speed cubing went into hibernation for two decades, until the next world championship was held in 2003. From there, the record has fallen precipitously, thanks to innovations like the Fridrich method, the Petrus system and even “cube lube.”
If you’re curious what it looks like to solve a Rubik’s cube in less than five seconds, here’s video of Etter’s feat, which occurred at a tournament in Clarksville, Maryland.
Scott Adams—the man behind everyone’s favorite suicidal coffee mug adornment—has some thoughts he’d like to share with the world. No, this time it’s not about how much of a genius he is (not to brag). Nor is it about how rapes aren’t the rapist’s fault (they can’t help themselves! ). Instead, today, Scott Adams would like to take a moment to talk to you about ISIS and the root cause of its many evils—otherwise known as women.
Genetically engineered salmon recently received the stamp of approval from the Food and Drug Administration, but it might have a hard time reaching a lot of customers. Costco has joined the list of major food sellers who say they won’t offer the controversial product to customers.
“Although the FDA has approved the sale of GM [genetically modified] salmon, Costco has not sold and does not intend to sell GM salmon at this time,” a rep for the warehouse chain told the AP.
Nearly two years before AquAdvantage salmon — which is engineered to grow to market size faster than traditional farm-raised salmon — got the go-ahead from regulators, a number of retailers, including Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, and Aldi, were already saying they had no plans to sell the product. These retailers have since been joined by other, larger supermarkets, like Target and Kroger.
Because the FDA says that the AquAdvantage salmon is safe to consume and nutritionally the same as traditionally raised salmon, the product will not require any special labeling when it eventually hits store shelves.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt recently paid tribute to Janet Jackson on Lip Sync Battle and it may be the best performance the show has seen so far. Gordon-Levitt appeared on a holiday-themed episode with Seth Rogen and Anthony Mackie to promote their new film, The Night Before.
My mother recounts being beaten by nuns at the school she went to as a kid. Like not just a spanking, but hitting with rulers, books, kneeling on raw rice, etc. She once was locked into a closet, and the nun/teacher forgot she was in there. My mom was too afraid to say anything so she stayed locked in a closet for hours until she realized nobody was left in the classroom. she cried out until someone heard her. She was, IIRC, not even in the 5th grade yet.
Catholic priests have become synonymous with “abuse” in recent years, but they’ve never been the only people of the cloth guilty of inflicting physical and emotional pain on innocent victims. Seldom talked about are the rarely maligned women of the Church: sisters who intentionally abused fellow nuns behind convent walls. Nun abuse is that other dirty little secret of the Catholic Church—and it’s a secret that affected, and crushed, the spirits of scores of young women. My mother was one of them.
First lady only because we know who she is. Both are shitbags though.
It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:
Cry-Baby #1: Natasha West
Screencap via Google Maps
The incident: A woman was told she was violating the terms and conditions of Denny's all-you-can-eat pancakes offer.
The appropriate response: Nothing. You got caught.
The actual response: She allegedly tried to attack a waitress.
On November 6th, 27-year-old Natasha West was eating a $4 order of all-you-can-eat pancakes at a Denny's in Oak Lawn, Illinois.
A waitress allegedly noticed Natasha sharing her pancakes with the other people seated at her table, and told her that this was not permitted. This is why these type of promotions are called "all-you-can-eat" rather than "all-you-and-a-bunch-of-other-people-can-eat".
According to police, Natasha responded to this by swearing at the waitress and attempting to punch her. She and her friends then fled the restaurant without paying. Natasha reportedly kicked the door several times as she exited the building.
Natasha was caught and arrested shortly after. She was charged with assault and damage to property. One of her friends paid the Denny's bill.
The incident: A store, that has existed for longer than ISIS, has the word "Isis" in its name.
The appropriate response: Taking a photo for Instagram.
The actual response: Someone vandalized the store's sign.
Isis Books and Gifts is a New Age store in Denver, Colorado. Named after the Egyptian goddess Isis, the store has been in business for 35 years.
Last weekend, someone threw a brick through a portion of the store's sign. The owner of the store, Karen Charboneau-Harrison, thinks the act was motivated by the recent terrorist attacks in Paris.
"We're all very heartbroken so I don't know if somebody walking down the street just saw our name on the sign and kind of lost it for a moment and threw a rock through it," Karen said in an interview with Fox 31 Denver. "Or if it was an ignorant person who actually thought this was a bookstore for terrorists, I don't know."
This is not the first time the store has been vandalized since the rise of the Islamic State. In addition to having her sign smashed once before, Karen says people have also thrown paint across the front of the store, and smashed the door.
"It does get a bit tiresome," said Karen. "Plus expensive."
Who here is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this little poll down here:
Einstein Bros. introduces a new Red Velvet Bagel for this holiday season as well as new Nutcracker Bagel Topper.
The Nutcracker Bagel Topper is a French toast bagel topped with maple shmear, bacon, and walnuts.
Additionally, the bagel chain is offering a baker's dozen holiday-themed box that they're calling the "Box of Jolly." It includes three Red Velvet Bagels, three Gingerbread Bagels, three French Toast Bagels, two Plain Bagels, and two Cinnamon Raisin bagels, plus two tubs of schmear.
The price on the new Nutcracker Bagel Topper is $3.70 (may vary), while the Red Velvet Bagel with icing shmear goes for around $2.75. Both are available for a limited time through the holiday season.
She makes a really good point, that fundamentally, Islam has a lot more in common with conservative Christianity than the right wants you to think. If you just put it down on paper, it really should be the left that are pushing back against Muslims and the right should be supporting them. But I guess when your gods have different names, that trumps it all.
The puerile, nightmarish clown car of Republican presidential candidates has been choking on the sour, stale fumes of Islamophobia. Current frontrunner Donald Trump recently stated that he “wouldn’t be opposed ” to literally creating a registry of Muslims in America, presumably so he can have a list of people to, uh, treat nicely, or—yeah, let’s not even think about what Trump would do in collaboration with the NSA.
We’ve all been there… spotting a piece of produce that strongly resembles a friend or random cartoon character, only to dismiss it as unbuyable. But when 19-year-old Brazilian student, Roberta Bernardo, spots a root vegetable with a potential face, she seizes the opportunity. Roberta found a potato that, let’s face it, most of us would’ve walked past giggling. But […]
LOS ANGELES—Hollywood leading man Brad Pitt hissed and skittered away into the safety of the woods surrounding his house Friday after reading a screenplay from his agent and detecting the musk of fellow actor Chris Pine on its pages, numerous sources reported. Witnesses confirmed that upon receiving the 158-page draft of a Civil War drama during a meeting at his home, Pitt began furiously sniffing up and down the binding and back cover in search of any scent markings, eventually detecting Pine’s pheromones while flipping through the second scene. After his eyes widened and his ears pricked back, the 51-year-old actor reportedly bolted away from the script, exiting through a back door at full speed and disappearing into the underbrush. Those present said that after an exhaustive search, an assistant with a flashlight found the whimpering Golden Globe winner hiding under a neighbor’s porch, covered in dirt ...
White Castle's Original Slider features a steam-grilled 2x2-inch beef patty with a slice of pickle or two plus onions on a steamed bun.
They don't have these in California but I managed to try them on a trip out of state.
The pickle offered a cleansing bite that contrasted with the more savory aspects of the slider.
The cheese on the Cheese Slider was mostly melted save for the edges and made for a proper gooey mess.
Popeyes' Banana Pudding Parfait features a bottom layer of crushed vanilla wafers, a middle layer of banana pudding, and a top layer of whipped cream topped with a Nilla (or Nilla-like) vanilla wafer and a sprinkle of crushed vanilla wafers.
There's a nice balance between the whipped cream, banana pudding, and crushed wafers.
Overall, Popeyes' Banana Pudding Parfait was pretty good. It hit the right notes between the banana and vanilla wafers although it could use some piece of banana and crunchy cookies.
An accident with a candle started the fire that gutted a condo on the 50th floor of the John Hancock building on Sunday, authorities say. [ more › ]
Genetically engineered salmon recently received the stamp of approval from the Food and Drug Administration, but it might have a hard time reaching a lot of customers. Costco has joined the list of major food sellers who say they won’t offer the controversial product to customers.
Einstein Bros. introduces a new Red Velvet Bagel for this holiday season as well as new Nutcracker Bagel Topper.
The price on the new Nutcracker Bagel Topper is $3.70 (may vary), while the Red Velvet Bagel with icing shmear goes for around $2.75. Both are available for a limited time through the holiday season.
