Shared posts

27 Jun 19:18

Video: Dick Van Dyke Led A Sing-Along At Walt Disney's Childhood Home

by Stephen Gossett
IKEA Monkey

He's 90?!

Video: Dick Van Dyke Led A Sing-Along At Walt Disney's Childhood Home The 90-year-old actor is still impossibly charming. [ more › ]
27 Jun 17:42

The Trailer for Kate Mara's Sci-Fi Movie Morgan Looks Tight

by Clover Hope on The Muse, shared by Clover Hope to Jezebel
IKEA Monkey

OK, I'm into it

Scientists try and fail to contain a highly evolved test-tube creation in the trailer for the sci-flick Morgan.

Read more...

27 Jun 16:45

50 of Horror Cinema’s Most Fashionable Moments

by Alison Nastasi
IKEA Monkey

Goals

We have a new movie to add to the fashion-forward horror cinema canon. Nicolas Winding Refn’s The Neon Demon is now in theaters. Set in the fashion world, Refn’s film finds an aspiring model trying to make her way in beauty-obsessed Los Angeles where the women around her will do whatever it takes to get ahead. The film amassed a following well before its release, thanks to Refn’s stunning visuals and teasers of lead star Elle Fanning’s avant-garde costumes. She’s in good company in horror cinema, which may be one of the most underrated genres when it comes to best-dressed characters. With horror filmmakers constantly pushing limits, the genre has produced some fascinating fashions and iconic sartorial moments.

27 Jun 15:39

Dogs Want to Go Outside, They Just Don't Want to Be Outside

IKEA Monkey

Every day

dogs,inside,funny,outside,web comic

Submitted by: (via evandiaz)

Tagged: dogs , inside , funny , outside , web comic
27 Jun 14:57

Newswire: Nick Kroll and John Mulaney are putting too much tuna on Broadway

by Esther Zuckerman
IKEA Monkey

Amazing

Broadway’s Lyceum Theatre will soon reek of tuna. That’s because John Mulaney and Nick Kroll’s prankster alter egos George St. Geegland and Gil Faizon will set up shop there starting this fall for Oh, Hello on Broadway. This is a huge move for these Upper West Side denizens who have already had an acclaimed off-Broadway run in New York and a tour.

George and Gil made the announcement in a Facebook Live video last night, insisting repeatedly, “this is not a joke.” Kroll’s already told the New York Times that, for Broadway, George and Gil’s “main request is showgirls.” He added, “And we haven’t quite figured out how to tell them that the union has made it clear that they will not provide any showgirls for a George and Gil production.” But, showgirls or none, there will of course be tuna. “There are whole ...

27 Jun 14:37

Obama's approval rating up to 52%

IKEA Monkey

Wow its almost like people are realizing we've had it pretty good the past 8 years

President Barack Obama's approval rating remains on the upswing, with 52% now approving of his performance as president, up a statistically insignificant one point since last month, but now five points above the 47% who approved in January.
27 Jun 02:51

Beyoncé and Kendrick Lamar Open the 2016 BET Awards With 'Freedom'

by Rachel Vorona Cote
IKEA Monkey

Amazing performance

Beyoncé opened the 2016 BET Awards with a ferocious performance of “Freedom.”

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26 Jun 18:08

McConnell won't say if Trump is qualified

IKEA Monkey

Crazy, the American People voted twice for Obama, so does that mean McConnell thinks Obama is qualified? If so why's he been giving him such a godamn hard time?

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell wouldn't answer questions Sunday about whether Donald Trump is qualified for the presidency, saying he'll "leave that to the American people to decide."
26 Jun 15:38

Texas Woman Killed By Police After Fatally Shooting Her Two Daughters

by Lauren Evans
IKEA Monkey

"In March, Sheats posted the following message to her Facebook account, along with a video from 911Strong:

It would be horribly tragic if my ability to protect myself or my family were to be taken away, but that’s exactly what Democrats are determined to do by banning semi-automatic handguns."

Texas Woman Killed By Police After Fatally Shooting Her Two Daughters

Texas police fatally shot a 42-year-old mother after she refused to put down the gun she used to murder two of her own daughters in a Houston suburb.

Read more...

25 Jun 01:18

5 Awesome and Adorable Products You Can Get at CatCon

by Erin McCarthy
IKEA Monkey

My allergies would be out of control

This weekend, CatCon—the convention for people who love cats—returns to Los Angeles. Visitors will brush paws with Lil Bub, Pudge, and Nala cat, hear from cat behaviorists and other feline-related speakers, adopt kitties, and, of course, buy some really awesome cat stuff. Here are a few things you might want to pick up if you’re at CatCon this weekend (and where you can buy everything if you won’t be there).

24 Jun 22:52

Man Charged With Attempted Sexual Assault At Pizza Hut

by Stephen Gossett
IKEA Monkey

I'm at the pizza hut! I'm at the taco bell! I'm at the combination pizza hut and police station

Man Charged With Attempted Sexual Assault At Pizza Hut The attacker would not cooperate until police let him finish his beer. [ more › ]
24 Jun 20:37

All The Cool Adults Are Taking Classes

by Rachel Sugar on Adequate Man, shared by Puja Patel to Deadspin
IKEA Monkey

The best thing I've done all year is start taking my painting class. I love it.

Classes are the solution to most problems, existential and logistical. “But anything I need to learn, I can learn on the internet,” the less enlightened might argue. Yeah, yeah, it’s true, sort of—the internet is indeed a treasure trove of YouTube knowledge, MOOCs are the future, and soon we will all live in pods. The same mindset that leads people to the internet to learn a skill is the one that keeps us indoors, hibernating, and overly self-indulgent. Do not let technological convenience fully dictate your life, though! Take a class.

Read more...

24 Jun 19:00

Man guilty of sending nude photos of woman to Naperville employer

by Bill Bird
IKEA Monkey

Dudes are the worst

A man who sent naked photographs of a woman to her Naperville employer after she declined to date him has been sentenced to community service work and court supervision.

James J. Casey, 32, with addresses listed in the 700 block of Academy Street in Valparaiso, Ind., and the 2600 block of North...

24 Jun 18:52

Crete man gets 4 months in jail in 'revenge porn' case

by Dennis Sullivan
IKEA Monkey

Dudes are the worst part 2

A Crete man who identified a woman in a secretly recorded, sexually explicit video he uploaded to a pornographic website has been sentenced to 120 days in jail, authorities said.

Matthew R. Schwertfeger, who was sentenced Tuesday in Will County Circuit Court, was also ordered to serve 30 months...

24 Jun 17:36

Britain's Old People Have Just Screwed Their Grandkids

by Joel Golby
IKEA Monkey

*slow clap*

Nick Ansell / PA Wire/Press Association Images

Hey, grandma—what's up?

Oh yeah, thanks, I really would like a cup of tea that takes you 20 minutes of tinkering about in the kitchen to make because you insist on using a teapot every time—even though teapot tea tastes exactly the same if not worse than mug tea because you are using teabags not loose leaf; how are you a thousand years old and you don't even know this yet—but yes, thank you, grandma, I will have a small porcelain plate with three pink wafer biscuits on it, thank you.

Hey, so, grandma, just a quick one: what the fuck.

What the fuck, grandma.

Lean your wrinkly little face close to me and tell me what the fuck.

Yo, grandma, check it. Check this graph. Put on your reading glasses. Put on your additional reading glasses. Put on your third, industrial-strength pair of reading glasses. See this breakdown of Brexit voting by age:


Graph via WSJ

See you in there? You are that pink, blobby, soon-to-die bit by the bottom. Do you know how long it is going to take us to negotiate leaving the EU? The conservative estimate is two years—the exact same timeframe your doctor gave you the last time you had a check up. Tell me, grandma: why did you vote for a change you will never get a chance to see? Are you messing with me, grandma? Is this payback for a crime I do not remember committing? Is this because I shit on you that time? Grandma, I was eight months old. I shit a lot back then. I don't know why you think that, because you wiped my ass a few times when I was younger, I have to respect your bad opinions now.

A quick note about your doctor: your doctor is one of about ten percent of doctors who come from the EU. This is for a variety of reasons—we won't get into why you can't have a Nice British Doctor with Nice British Hands because of the whole Conservative government forcing the hand of the junior doctors upon which the service relies—but a lot of it is to do with the fact that to have an effective NHS, i.e. a health service with a diverse array of specialists and experts in different fields, you have to recruit from other countries. But now that's all gone fuck-a-doodle because the Brexit means it's going to be harder for the NHS to recruit doctors from Europe and harder for our doctors to go and work there, too. Let's not get onto the impending care crisis and how the six percent EU employment rate in an already stretched-to-breaking-point sector is going to be even more perilous once Brexit comes through. Yes, I know you don't trust Oana when she comes over twice a week because you "think she's going to steal your decorative plates," but she knows her way around a catheter tube.

Grandma, did you see that nice man Nigel who you like on the TV this morning? You like Nigel, don't you? He wears a tie. You know that bus he did that said the £350 million we supposedly pay to the EU a week will now be funneled directly into the NHS? Did you see him literally come out and say that was a lie, this morning? Hold on, I'll pull the video up on my phone. I know you don't understand phones. I know you don't understand "this Facebook." I know you don't understand things. Just watch the video where he admits literally hours after winning that the central tenet of his campaign was a lie.

You know how you say you can't get a doctor's appointment these days "because of immigrants?" You know how that is a lie, yeah? You know it's actually because public services are pushed to breaking point by a fundamental lack of funding and support, all backed by a government you just handed more power to? Also, you know how you wake up at 5 AM every day just so you can be the first person to call the doctor and ask for appointments? How you go to the doctor, like, ten, 15 times a week? You go to the doctor an obscene amount. And it doesn't even matter how often you go to the doctor, grandma. Unless he turns your body into a robot and your mind into a computer and powers you via solar, you are not going to be around to see these changes come into play.

Do you remember how you went to college for free? That was good, wasn't it? Do you remember when you bought your house in shillings, or whatever the fuck money was called back then? That was good, wasn't it? You got a pretty good pension, all in, didn't you, and retired on the dot at age 60, didn't you? That was good. No, you're right, though—it's millennials who are entitled.

I'm sorry, grandma, I'm just exceptionally mad and sad about the future. It's just: it's weird how you can barely make it to the grocery store across the road from here without six frantic phone calls to mom and a fucking £4 taxi and then another, additional, post-grocery store phone call to mom telling her how bad the grocery store was, but that you sure as shit found the chutzpah to shuffle down to the polling station yesterday to make sure you voted out of the EU, based on a vague prang of fear about losing our identity as a country.

Hey, grandma: weird that you are allowed to vote on a future you will never, ever see, but 16-year-olds aren't legally allowed to vote on the hell you are making them live through, and 18-to-24s are not actively targeted in voting campaigns, isn't it? It's almost like the only excuse you've had to leave the house in the last year-and-a-half is to go and carefully—with a pen you bought from home, because you're mad now—decide to fuck up the future for me and everyone I know.

Didn't know you hated disabled people, people of color, and women, grandma, but seeing as they are getting the sharp end of this Brexit fallout—and there is fallout, remember; the only things that are definitely happening as a result of Brexit are all bad and backed up by experts, and all the possible future good things are Nigel Farage and his ilk saying "maybe it'll be good now we don't have a European safety net? idk" and "immigration, which won't immediately go down in any discernible way, is still bad"—and that is thanks to you, grandma. This is all thanks to you.

I am leaving, now, grandma, but I just wanted to say this is war now. We are at war. Oh, you'd like to sit down on the bus? Well, I'd like to not live through another recession, so I guess it's tough shit for both of us. What—you wanted to go to the garden center with us on Sunday? Well, I quite wanted to go to Croatia this summer, but that's immediately costing me about 25 percent more thanks to your shonky voting. Oh, you'd like me to come visit you now and again? Dunno, grandma, a lot of my friends are now quite worried about their status in this country and whether they have to get visas now and I think I'd rather hang out with them. Nah, but at least you've got your national pride back, right? Sit here, grandma, with your doilies and your scones and your Keep Calm and Carry On tea towel, and your well dressing, and your framed photograph of the Queen, and your little Union Flag. You did it. You voted for this. Thanks a fucking bunch, grandma.

Follow Joel Golby on Twitter.

To see all our articles about the EU Referendum, check out Europe: The Final Countdown.

24 Jun 14:11

Lindsay Lohan's Tweets About Brexit Are Giving Me Life Right Now [Updated]

by JE Reich
IKEA Monkey

These are amazing

The multitudinous layers of the enigma that is Lindsay Lohan have continued to unfurl for us on the eve of the Brexit referendum—which is to say that who knew Cady Heron was hella into UK politics?

Read more...

23 Jun 21:04

A Reporter Who Spent Four Months Undercover as a Private Prison Guard Is Here to Answer Your Questions

by Andy Cush
IKEA Monkey

Click through and read the Mother Jones piece. Its very, very long. Took me an hour to read here. But wow, it is an incredible piece of journalism.

Today, Mother Jones published a 35,000-word account of one investigative reporter’s stint as a corrections officer at a for-profit prison in Louisiana. For the next hour or so, Shane Bauer will be in the comments, answering your questions about his reporting.

Read more...

23 Jun 18:51

A Reporter Who Spent Four Months Undercover as a Private Prison Guard Is Here to Answer Your Questions

by Andy Cush on Gawker, shared by Emma Carmichael to Jezebel
IKEA Monkey

This is some Nellie Blye shit

Today, Mother Jones published a 35,000-word account of one investigative reporter’s stint as a corrections officer at a for-profit prison in Louisiana. For the next hour or so, Shane Bauer will be in the comments, answering your questions about his reporting.

Read more...

22 Jun 21:55

Martha Stewart, Luckiest Woman on Earth, Had No Idea Who Jonathan Cheban Is

by Kara Brown
IKEA Monkey

1) I had no idea who he was either and 2) Martha, you are amazing.

Martha Stewart is one of my favorite human beings on this here planet Earth and it’s like she goes out of her way to confirm that my adoration is perfectly placed.

Read more...

22 Jun 19:55

Social Security to run dry by 2034

IKEA Monkey

Great! Since thats well before I retire can I stop contributing?

If lawmakers don't act, Social Security's trust fund will be tapped out in about 18 years.
22 Jun 18:10

Making Art Can Relieve Stress at Any Skill Level

by Michele Debczak
IKEA Monkey

I am living proof

You don't have be talented to reap the benefits.

22 Jun 17:57

Rauner Will Run For Reelection, Even Though He Is Reviled

by Mae Rice
IKEA Monkey

He's going to lose

Rauner Will Run For Reelection, Even Though He Is Reviled Good luck with your reelection bid, bud? [ more › ]
22 Jun 15:35

Paul Ryan Floats Idea of Suing the Man He Endorses for President  

by Hannah Gold
IKEA Monkey

What is even happening

Has Paul Ryan been brushing up on The Art of the Deal? Cause it seems like the House Speaker is copping a bit of Donald Trump’s signature litigious style.

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22 Jun 15:23

The Immigration Battle at the Heart of Brexit

by Krishnadev Calamur
IKEA Monkey

That is literally the same poster as the Nazi propaganda poster.

A former British minister’s apparent about-face on the U.K.’s continued membership in the European Union illustrates the central role immigration is playing both sides of the “Brexit” debate.  

Sayeeda Warsi said Monday she was now backing the “remain” campaign after, in her words, the “leave” campaign had abandoned its moderate message to become “small-minded, xenophobic and inward-looking.” Her remarks to The Guardian:

The vision that the Brexit campaign is presenting is not the vision that me and other Brexiters started off with a year ago. The ‘hello world’ approach to Brexit, which is open-minded, visionary, inclusive, has been lost. The moderate message has been lost. And instead we have reverted to a campaign that says: ‘The Turks are coming, the Syrians are coming, the refugees are coming, the Muslims are coming, the terrorists are coming’.

Indeed, Warsi’s remarks are an apparent reference to a poster released last week by Nigel Farage, the head of the U.K. Independence Party (UKIP), which favors the U.K. leaving the EU. Here’s that ad:

Stefan Wermuth / Reuters

The image on Farage’s poster was one of Syrian and other refugees and migrants walking through the heart of the European countryside to reach Germany, Sweden, and other western European nations, as Europe grapples with its most severe refugee crisis since World War II. Britain, like much of the rest of Europe, has been wary of letting in large numbers of these migrants and refugees. The U.K. retains substantial autonomy over how many immigrants it accepts from outside the EU. By contrast, though, under EU rules the U.K. cannot limit migration from within Europe, and has to extend to those migrants much of the same rights and privileges it gives its own citizens. It’s unclear if Brexit would actually reduce immigration to the U.K. About half of the migrants to Britain come from non-EU countries, and previous efforts to curb immigration have had limited success. Still, Farage’s poster struck a chord—or nerve—depending on your viewpoint.

It’s important to point out here that Farage’s ad was a UKIP poster—and not one issued by the official Vote Leave campaign, which is headed by Boris Johnson, the former London mayor who, like Warsi, is from the ruling Conservative Party. Indeed, many of those who support Brexit distanced themselves from the poster, while those who support Britain’s continued membership in the EU labeled it racist and, in an example of Godwin’s law as well as how far each side is willing to go to tarnish the other, highlighted some of the similarities it shared with World War II-era Nazi propaganda.   

But even those who support Britain’s continued membership in the EU, and indeed believe that it makes the U.K. stronger, have been skeptical about immigration. In February Prime Minister David Cameron, who is supporting the “remain” campaign, had secured a host of concessions from the EU on issues including benefits paid to EU migrants. And Jeremy Corbyn, the head of the Labour Party, who is also supporting the U.K.’s continued EU membership, said over the weekend: “I don’t think you can have [an upper limit to immigration] … while you have free movement of labor.” The comments were seized upon by his rivals in the debate. But those rivals have also been quick to distance themselves from Farage’s poster. Johnson criticized it, and said Britain’s exit would help “neutralize anti-immigrant feeling.” He added he was “passionately pro-immigration and pro-immigrants,” and went as far as to call for an amnesty for immigrants illegally in the U.K. for 12 or more years because it was “the humane thing to do.”

Farage has stood his ground, insisting the only reason he’s being criticized is because of the assassination last week of Jo Cox, the pro-remain Labour Party member of Parliament. And while Michael Gove, the justice secretary and leave campaigner, said Farage’s poster made him “shudder,” he has also previously warned of the consequences of Turkey’s accession to the EU, saying it would pose a security risk to Britain as part of his argument for why Britain should leave the bloc. (The prospect of Turkey joining the EU in the near- or medium-term is dim.)

Warsi, the former minister, told The Guardian she had hoped the debate over Brexit would become more measured following Cox’s assassination, but “when I turned on the television on Sunday morning and saw Nigel Farage defending the indefensible and Michael Gove continue to peddle lies about Turkey’s accession to the EU, that for me was a step too far.”

The referendum is on Thursday—and polls show a statistical dead heat.  

22 Jun 04:29

Honey Releases Amazon Price Protection to Find You a Better Deal

by Kristin Wong on Two Cents, shared by Andy Orin to Lifehacker

We’ve told you all about the couponing tool Honey, which automatically hunts for and applies coupon codes for your online purchases. The browser extension recently released a new feature that can help you find better prices on Amazon.

Read more...

21 Jun 20:57

Go Full MacGyver With This 5-Step Process For Getting Gum Off Your Jeans

by Chris Morran
IKEA Monkey

"Gum" was not the first word I saw when my eyes scanned the headline

So you’ve gone and sat in a wad of gum. Sucks, huh? Don’t despair. You might still be able to salvage your favorite pair of blue jeans with the help of some unexpected gum-removing tools that might already be sitting around your house.

A lot of people reach for ice cubes when trying to de-gum their denim, but the textile experts down the hall at Consumer Reports say that heat and a bit of chemistry are your best bet.

The Tools

Before you get to removing the Hubba Bubba from your derriere, you’ll need a few tools so you can go full MacGyver on the sticky stuff:
tools
• Hair Dryer
• Plastic Knife
• Polyethylene Plastic Bag (like Ziploc)
• Bengay

Step 1:

step1

Heating with the hair dryer will soften up the wad of gum and allow you to swoop in and remove much of the mess in…

Step 2:

step2

This should clear off much of the affected area, leaving only the most tenacious clingers. That’s where Bengay comes in.

Step 3:

step3

One of the active ingredients in Bengay is methyl salicylate (check to make sure first, as not all versions of the cream include this ingredient), which should dissolve the gum base, making it easier to pick off when you move to…

Step 4:

step4

Not only does the methyl salicylate in the Bengay dissolve the gum base, it makes the gum want to stick to the plastic in polyethylene plastic, like you’d find in a Ziploc sandwich bag. So slip your hand into one of those baggies and grab up what remains.

Now that your jeans are gum-free, it’s important to remember the final step, which will render all the other steps unnecessary…

Step 5:

step5

To see all the step in action, just watch the short video below:

21 Jun 14:55

Photos: Summer solstice full 'strawberry' moon

IKEA Monkey

It was glorious

The June full moon has traditionally been nicknamed the honey moon or the strawberry moon because of its large, reddish-amber appearance in the sky. On June 20-12, 2016, the month's full moon fell on the first day of summer -- the summer solstice -- for the first time since 1948, according to the...

21 Jun 14:29

Setting a Walmart Fireworks Display on Fire Is a Spectacularly Stupid Thing to Do

by Andrew Liszewski on Sploid, shared by Barry Petchesky to Deadspin
IKEA Monkey

No way man, that's 'Merica

Not treating fireworks—aka unlicensed explosives—with the respect they deserve is one of the most dangerous thing you can do. So after a couple of pranksters in Phoenix, Arizona, thought it would be funny to start a chain reaction on a shelf full of fireworks in a Walmart, humanity has reached a new low.

Read more...

20 Jun 22:03

Incredible breakdancing crew from Korea

by Jason Kottke
IKEA Monkey

Holy shit

Morning of Owl is a dance crew from Korea and they are from The Matrix, I think?

How did you do that? You moved like they do. I've never seen anyone move that fast.

Amazing athleticism and coordination. (via @aaroncoleman0)

Tags: dance   video
20 Jun 15:55

Much Atsume. Very Neko. Wow.

much atsume very neko wow

Submitted by: (via nu-nus)

Tagged: dogs , doge , Plush , neko atsume , shiba inu