As you know, I am very rarely a fan of remakes. I think if a movie is great, then you should just leave it alone. That being said, I think a remake of Grapes Of Wrath is a good thing and here is why. Is it a great movie? Yes. Do people watch it? Only when forced. I think that if you took the book and filmed it today that you could make it much better and much more relevant to younger people and maybe it would encourage them to read the book or another of his books. I think the way it is right now, people only watch it when they are forced to read the book and don't want to. Steven Spielberg is in talks to remake the movie, and if there is anyone who would do a respectful job of it, I would say he would.
let's spend all summer having refreshing things like this
Every summer, when it seems as though the heat and humidity can’t get any worse, I turn to my turn to my friend, the Arnold Palmer. You may know him as a half-and-half or a tea with lemonade. The one-two punch of caffeine and sugar with plenty of mouth-puckering lemon never fails to get me out of my heat-induced stupor.
Posting the recipe for the drink seemed a little to Captain Obvious (make some extra strong tea, add sugar, lemon juice and ice. If you’d like a Tipsy Palmer, otherwise known as a John Daly, add some bourbon or another liquor), but it recently occurred to me that it would make one heck of a sorbet.
This is my parents' house's identical twin, exactly one block away from where they live. It's so funny to see a house with the exact same bones as the one I grew up in, but remodeled and decorated so differently.
Located in Glendale's Pelanconi Estates neighborhood, this Spanish eclectic house was built in 1937. While the two-bedroom, one-and-a-half-bath home is not without objectionable elements (that blue awning, for instance, and some pretty unsightly linoleum), those minor quibbles are more than counterbalanced by its many charming vintage details, such as stepped-tray ceilings, oak floors, arched doorways and book niches, a wood-burning fireplace, a knotty-pine-paneled breakfast room, and original built-in vanity. Sited on a 7,850-square-foot lot, it's listed at $529,000.
· 910 GRAYNOLD Ave [Redfin]
Meet Sheldon, Point Defiance Zoo's baby Serval. In addition to little Sheldon, there are a few other young cats at the Zoo right now - Kali the Tiger cub and Tien the baby Clouded Leopard. Keepers get them together for playtime both behind the scenes and now at certain times within public view so guests can enjoy their antics. Sheldon can always be identified by his big ears. That size, along with the ability to rotate them independently, allows them to pinpoint small animals close by when hunting.
The Serval (Leptailurus serval) is a medium-sized cat found throughout sub-Saharan Africa, that lives mainly in thickly
covered areas close to water. This species is
unusual in that it loves to play in the water. They practice leaping in it as well, a hunting method they use to catch birds in flight, as well as to pounce on hares and mole rats, which round out their carnivorous diet.
Photo Credit: Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium
Although the Serval is not considered to be at great risk in the wild, they are being subjected to increasing loss of their wetland habitats which has led to population declines in certain areas. They are also extensively hunted for their fur.
Meet Zia Valentina, the newest addition to The Original Farmers Market, selling Sicilian-style granites for the last three weeks. Churning out of machines along Zia's rear stall wall, these icy beverages, sort like Italian ice meets a slurpee, come flavored with chocolate mint, vanilla yogurt, peach-mango, chocolate, strawberry and a non-dairy coffee option. In place of sugar, the granitas are sweetened with stevia, and management also sells a few baked goods like chocolate zucchini muffins, devoid of sugar, too. [EaterWire]
In preparation for the 4th of July—my favorite time of year—I’ve been experimenting with cooling drinks to help beat the heat. This Coconut Mango Cocktail is refreshing, simple and quick.
Coconut water is very hydrating, full of potassium, low in fat and calories. It’s been called “Mother Nature’s Sports Drink.” Mango is usually sweet and full of fiber, vitamin A, C and B6. Together, these two superfoods create the perfect summer drink. Enjoy!
Coconut Mango Cocktail by Laura Friendly Start to Finish: 5 minutes Serves: 1
ice
1-1/2 ounces vodka, optional
1/2 cup coconut water
splash of mango juice, more or less to taste
fresh mint leaves
Fill a glass with ice.
Add vodka, coconut water, mango juice and stir to combine.
All Images & Content are by Laura Friendly. This post is written and based on my personal experience and opinion on food. The information is not intended to replace professional medical counsel. Always seek the advice of your physician if you have a food allergy. And don’t forget to smile!
I KNEW IT. I knew you flat fluffy dicks were up to zero good. New research published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition suggests that refined carbohydrates (like white sugar, white flour, corn syrup, and your dirty mistress PANCAKES) trigger intense cravings in the brain not unlike those that drug addicts experience. Awesome. Great. Thanks again, food.
So, basically, you eat the delicious garbage-carbs, you get an awesome party spike (woooooooooooo!!!!! San Dimas High School football rulz!), and then a few hours later you crash into a ravenous pancake-shaped hunger-hole that shan't be sated by anything save MORE DOUGH. Or as I like to call it, Tuesday, amirite!!!??!!? #prettyhotandtempting #likepancakes
Ludwig and his colleagues gave 12 overweight and obese young men two drinks. One contained cornstarch, which has a low glycemic index, meaning it causes only a gradual rise in blood sugar. The other drink contained corn syrup, which has a high glycemic index. The researchers used artificial, zero-calorie sweeteners to make the two drinks taste identical.
The men who received the high-glycemic-index drink showed a dramatic spike in blood sugar after consuming the drink. Four hours later, their blood sugar levels crashed, and they reported being very hungry.
At the same time, brain scans of those who drank the corn syrup drink showed increased activation in the nucleus accumbens, a region of the brain that has been tied to reward and cravings in past research, compared with the men who drank the low-glycemic-index drink.
If this relatively small study can be replicated in larger populations, researchers hope that it can help people lose weight and avoid gaining weight and all of America's other thigh-related national pastimes. Cool, whatever, sounds good, go nuts.
I totally understand why it's important to have conventional wisdom backed up by science, but this "carbs are bad" thing doesn't exactly seem like news. For as long as I can remember people have been yelling about cutting carbs and eating six almonds and wearing anti-corn-syrup amulets. (BTW, please buy my new diet book: EAT SIX ALMONDS: THE EATING SIX ALMONDS STORY: A LIFE (OF CARRYING SIX ALMONDS AROUND IN A ZIPLOC BAGGY AND BEING SUPER THIN NOW).)
But whether or not you're surprised by the evils of refined carbohydrates, I think we can all agree that this data is sinister. Our system of food production perpetuates and profits from fomenting lifelong chemical addiction to processed sugars that they derive from heavily subsidized crops. It's fucking gross, but also a killer business plan—kudos, y'all. (Literally!!! #fat) We should all be paying attention to this shit.
Now, as a fat person who's incessantly confronted by strangers who presume they know exactly what I eat (they don't), I have a visceral, personal reaction to studies like this. Generally, I find them to be equal parts heartening and infantilizing. I certainly don't feel "addicted" to food—at least, not any more than any of us are "addicted" to a thing that we literally need to ingest every day to survive. On the one hand, anything that chips away at the "fat people are lazy sacks of shit who choose to be oppressed and therefore can't complain" paradigm is a boon for size acceptance and, hopefully, the quality of life of fat people. But on the other hand, addiction is deeply stigmatized in our culture (another problem that needs attention), and I don't appreciate having to choose between being either a whiny, bacon-slick glutton or a helpless, out-of-control cake junkie. Can't I just be a person? Please? Like, one time? ...No? Okay, then.
I guess here's where I come down: Scientific inquiry is important—the truth is the truth. But, for the sake of actual human lives, we have to be careful with how we spin that truth.
Adding to the list of local bakeries looking to get in on the cronuts game is Spudnuts Donuts in Canoga Park. So far Semi Sweet Bakery downtown is working on its version of a croissant donut hybrid dubbed the crullant, and Frances Bakery & Coffee in Little Tokyo is offering a creation made from croissant dough shaped into a donut. Now enter the doughssant (a similar such specimen — the dosant — is being sold at Sweet Bakery and Bar in Worcester, MA) from Spudnuts, for sale as of last weekend and currently only available on Saturdays and Sundays.
Apparently these things have been selling out in an hour and a half and management is going to start vending them on Fridays as well. Doughssants cost $3 and come in two varieties: custard cream filled croissant dough with a Nutella glaze or covered with powdered sugar.
·Cronut Knockoffs Finally Hit LA at Semi Sweet Bakery and Frances Bakery & Coffee [~ELA~]
I don't know how to break this to you gently, so I'm just going to come out and say it: there are taste receptors on every pair of testicles. To be more specific, there are taste receptors for the flavors of sweet and umami ("pleasant savory taste") sitting atop the undercarriage of the male anatomy. So don't even bother dropping a Sour Patch Kid down there, because it won't do anything.
Okay, actually, there are taste receptors in a lot of non-balls locations, none of which really seem to taste in the common understanding of what "tasting" constitutes. According to researchers, these receptors have been found in the stomach, intestines, pancreas, lungs, brain, and anus (cool!). However, no one really knows what they're there for. I, personally, can attest to this — no matter how rapidly I guzzle down my nachos, I've never once experienced "savory" in my pancreas. As researcher Bedrich Mosinger wrote in an email to Business Insider:
[The] function of taste receptors and signaling proteins outside of taste system is still unclear... [in some areas] they seem to be part of the chemical sensing of sugars or amino acids. For the most part, though, full function of these extra-orally located taste receptors is unknown.
Deep breaths, dear reader. I am not going to bring you here just to tell you about the fact that male gonads have taste receptors on them and then leave you to deal with the shock and bewilderment for the rest of your life. Research published on July 1 in the journal Proceedings Of The National Academy of Sciences sheds some light on the function of the testicular taste receptors: in studies conducted on mice, they've been found to play an important role in male fertility.
Researchers at the Monell Chemical Senses Center were originally attempting to develop mice without sweet and umami receptors for a taste-related study, but they quickly realized that mice lacking those receptors were unable to reproduce. After conducting further studies, they found that removing these receptors from the testes — or even blocking their function — rendered the mice infertile.
Understanding this reaction could allow scientists to better understand the interaction of certain drugs with human fertility; it could also lead to the development of a male birth control pill. If the technology falls into the wrong hands, though, it could maybe lead to the development of a dystopian hellscape in which every man is wedded to a pizza.
I hate listening to Boston accents, but I found this woman's impossible to understand. I didn't think she was supposed to be from America!
Ah, the dreaded Boston accent. There's the good.There's the bad.There's also the not-sure-if-that's-good-or-that's-just-how–Mark Wahlberg–actually-talks. Now with Showtime's newest drama, Ray Donovan, a new contender has stepped up to the (Bawston RedSawks) plate. Paula Malcomson, playing Donovan's wife, Abby, has immediately emerged as one of this year's worst, complaining about her husband's absence and tragically pronouncing "Jersey Shore" like an actual spring break reveller doing a drunken impression of Ben Affleck.
In comparison, box-office winnner The Heat features an entire family full of Boston natives — including Melissa McCarthy. They don't have fantastic Boston accents, but mixing up "narc" and "knock" does seems to be problem some Bostonians might have.
This ice cream is especially creamy thanks to the rice starch that infuses into the base. It's worth the effort to seek out canela, Mexican or "true" cinnamon, which has a gentler, fruitier flavor than more common cassia bark. Canela can be identified by its matte tan color, thin, papery bark, and citrusy aroma. More about it here.
About the author: Max Falkowitz is the editor of Serious Eats: New York. You can follow him on Twitter at @maxfalkowitz.
Special equipment: ice cream maker, cheese cloth (optional)
Ingredients
serves makes about 3 cups, active time 45 minutes, total time 3 hours, plus an overnight chill
1/2 cup roasted, unsalted almonds
1/2 cup long grain rice
1 3-inch long cinnamon stick (canela; see note above)
4 cups half and half
5 egg yolks
3/4 cup sugar
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
Procedures
In a heavy medium saucepan, toast almonds, rice, and cinnamon on high heat, tossing frequently, until almonds begin to smell aromatic, 2 to 3 minutes. Add half and half, stir to combine, and bring to a bare simmer. Remove from heat, cover, and let steep for two hours.
In a second saucepan, whisk together sugar and egg yolks until well combined and slightly thickened.
Using a fine mesh strainer or a couple layers of cheesecloth, strain dairy mixture into a large measuring cup or bowl. Press down firmly on rice with a wooden spoon to release as much dairy and rice starch as possible. Strained dairy should yield about 2 1/2 cups. Discard rice and almonds.
Transfer strained dairy to saucepan with egg yolks and sugar and whisk until very well combined. Put saucepan on medium heat and cook, stirring frequently, until a custard forms on the back of a spoon and a swiped finger leaves a clean line. Stir in vanilla, then salt to taste.
Pour custard through a fine mesh strainer into an airtight container and chill overnight. The next day, churn according to manufacturer's instructions. Transfer ice cream to container and chill in freezer for at least 3 to 4 hours before serving.
You can now get beers that taste like anything — ok, well, mainly bacon, but still, the craft beer market has recently exploded (all over your face in an array of tasty flavors), and Sweet Baby Jesus Chocolate Peanut Butter Porter combines chocolate and peanut butter with booze and is it legal to marry a beer now?
The flavor comes from Maryland-based DuClaw Brewing, and according to Uncrate, it “smells and tastes like a really great Reese Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup”. I know lots of people don't want their beer to taste like quinoa casserole, but not me. The weirder the better — give it here.
[It's rare we post food porn on his here site but in the case of Cronuts we've made an exception.]
OMG. Cronuts. In LA. Kind of. It was only a matter of time before LA bakers decided to take a stab at the cronut, a hybrid croissant meets donut, which has taken Manhattan by storm. Pastry chef Dominique Ansel kicks off the cronut craze at his namesake Soho bakery last month, and since then New Yorkers have flipped for his deep fried croissant dough in flavors like rose vanilla and lemon maple. And by the way, here's a little cronut 101 for those living under a rock.
Up above, pastry chef Sharlena Fong over at Semi Sweet Bakery downtown is working on her version of a cronut, which she has named the Crullant. It's baked as opposed to Ansel's fried version, and will come glazed without a filling. Fong says she has been perfecting her recipe for the past two weeks and she'll roll out the creation tomorrow.
Meanwhile, Frances Bakery & Coffee in Little Tokyo is today selling its version of the cronut, croissant dough shaped into a donut and flavored with chocolate, strawberry, lemon custard or cream. Know of any other cronut impostors? Let us know.
·All Cronut Coverage [~ELA~]
Two days after the Supreme Court stuck down DOMA, a Bulgarian immigrant married to an American man learned that he was approved for a permanent resident visa, a service he was barred from just 48 hours prior based on his sexual preference. DOMA banned the federal government from recognizing marriages of same-sex couples for all sorts of grossly unfair purposes, including immigration benefits — but now, Immigration and Citizenship Services is working speedily to ensure same-sex couples can get green cards, too.
Julian Marsh and Traian Popov of Fort Lauderdale, Florida are the first-ever same sex couple to have their marriage recognized by the USCIS. Here's Julian over at The DOMA Project:
“We have love, joy and happiness in our lives. Thanks to the Supreme Court and President Obama we have an approved green card petition and we get to stay in our home and our country. If DOMA had not been struck down we were faced with no alternative but to leave our home and the country that we love so much. We feel extremely grateful and fortunate to have been given the greatest gift possible as we celebrate gay pride around the country. Today we rejoice. Next week we get back to work to defeat all the barriers to full equality,” said Julian from his home in Florida.
Speaking of Florida: Marsh and Popov (who were legally married in New York) won't find much love coming from their state reps, post-DOMA or not. Marriage isn't recognized in Florida and probably won't be anytime soon; last month, rising star/known water bottle luvver Florida Senator Marco Rubio said he would walk away from any bill that includes LGBT rights.
But The DOMA project has filed nearly 100 green card petitions for same-sex couples affected by DOMA, and USCIS has announced that will soon issue guidance for all DOMA-impacted immigration cases — it kept all the applications for the last two years on file in anticipation of this court ruling and so immediately reserved all decisions automatically. What's that about government bureaucracy?
Mad Men's Pete Campbell has always been a great ranter: haughty, aggrieved apoplexy is the longest arrow in his quiver. But this season, faced with obstructions from Don, his mother, and Bob Benson, he really turned the dials up to eleven. Foiled IPO? He'll get so heated he falls down the stairs, literally stumbling over his livid words. Mom disappeared from a cruise ship? He'll ream out the "Panamanian criminals" and the "Spanish fly" that might've had any hand in it. Secretary not quite getting office politics? He'll make sure she feels like she's worth less than the notepad on which she scribbled his missed phone calls. (Though it is a sign of his patrician aspirations that he stops short of actually foaming at the mouth.) Watch this supercut of Pete Campbell's epic, head-shaking, face-reddening season-six rants. It'll make you want to suck on an empathetic lozenge for Vincent Kartheiser.
In an Op-Ed article on hookup culture in college, Bob Laird links binge drinking and casual sex to sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, confusion, low self-esteem, unhappiness, vomiting, ethical retardation, low grades and emotional inadequacy. “How nice of The Times to include this leftover piece from 1957 today,” snarked a reader in the online comments.
Fair enough, but Laird is more than out of touch. He also fundamentally misunderstands hookup culture, the relationships that form within it and the real source of the problems arising from some sexual relationships.
Laird makes the common mistake of assuming that casual sex is rampant on college campuses. It’s true that more than 90% of students say that their campus is characterized by a hookup culture. But in fact, no more than 20% of students hook up very often; one-third of them abstain from hooking up altogether, and the remainder are occasional participators.
If you do the math, this is what you get: The median number of college hookups for a graduating senior is seven. This includes instances in which there was intercourse, but also times when two people just made out with their clothes on. The typical student acquires only two new sexual partners during college. Half of all hookups are with someone the person has hooked up with before. A quarter of students will be virgins when they graduate.
In other words, there’s no bacchanalian orgy on college campuses, so we can stop wringing our hands about that.
Laird argues that students aren’t interested in and won’t form relationships if “they are simply focused on the next hookup.” Wrong. The majority of students — 70% of women and 73% of men –report that they’d like to have a committed relationship, and 95% of women and 77% of men prefer dating to hooking up. In fact, about three-quarters of students will enter a long-term monogamous relationship while in college.
And it’s by hooking up that many students form these monogamous relationships. Roughly, they go from a first hookup, to a “regular hookup,” to perhaps something that my students call “exclusive” — which means monogamous but not in a relationship — and then, finally, they have “the talk” and form a relationship. As they get more serious, they become more sexually involved (source):
Come to think of it, this is how most relationships are formed — through a period of increasing intimacy that, at some point, ends in a conversation about commitment. Those crazy kids.
So, students are forming relationships in hookup culture; they’re just doing it in ways that Laird probably doesn’t like or recognize.
Finally, Laird assumes that relationships are emotionally safer than casual sex, especially for women. Not necessarily. Hookup culture certainly exposes women to high rates of emotional trauma and physical assault, but relationships do not protect women from these things. Recall that relationships are the context for domestic violence, rape and spousal murder.
It’s not hooking up that makes women vulnerable, it’s patriarchy. Accordingly, studies of college students have found that, in many ways, hookups are safer than relationships. A bad hookup can be acutely bad; a bad relationship can mean entering a cycle of abuse that takes months to end, bringing with it wrecked friendships, depression, restraining orders, stalking, controlling behavior, physical and emotional abuse, jealousy and exhausting efforts to end or save the relationship.
Laird’s views seem to be driven by a hookup culture bogeyman. It might scare him at night, but it’s not real. Actual research on hookup culture tells a very different story, one that makes college life look much more mundane.
Last of the Mohicans screenwriter Christopher Crowe is adapting the 1992 film for a limited series on FX. The story originally comes from James Fenimore Cooper's 1826 novel. FX has a handful of historically tinted limited series in the works, including Conquistadors, Paul Giamatti's Mayflower, and a Vietnam project called They Marched into Sunlight. There's also the Fargo adaptation, which won't exactly be historical but will be super North Dakota-ish.
In recent years, we've seen ice cream sandwiches made with plenty more than just cookies. Whoopie pies, brioche, doughnuts—take your pick.
But most are lacking in what that classic ice cream sandwich delivers so well: elegance. Francois Payard Patisserie to the rescue with their macaron ice cream sandwiches. Payard has been doling out these little rectangles for three summers now, but from the looks of it they've gotten a makeover for summer 2013: instead of blocky layers of their housemade ice cream and sorbet, they're now swirled together to give the ice cream sandwich a prettier, marbled effect.
They come in four flavors for $5 a pop: raspberry-pistachio, coconut-mango, chocolate on chocolate with cocoa nibs, and the newest addition, strawberry cheesecake. In all four, the macaron shells lose some of their characteristic chewiness, but not all of it; they're deserving macarons all on their own, and stay that way when frozen.
The Raspberry-Pistachio is the real crown jewel of the bunch. The boldest element is the bright-tasting raspberry sorbet studded with real fruit bits, which is folded into their creamy pistachio ice cream and then sandwiched between the shells of a subtle pistachio macaron. The tartness of the sorbet pairs with the mild nuttiness of the pistachio ice cream to keep it from becoming too sweet.
The tropical and summery Coconut-Mango is also well done. It balances not-too-sweet coconut ice cream against tart, full-flavored mango sorbet, and is refreshing enough to keep this week's heat at bay. Our one complaint: the sorbet-ice cream distribution isn't always even, and ours was sorely lacking in mango.
A little less successful is the Chocolate on Chocolate, which is also refreshingly not-too-sweet but also a little dull on the palate. Cocoa nibs add to the strong roasted flavor of the sandwich, but the ice cream is so not-sweet, so roasty-toasty, that it won't satisfy everyone's chocolate fix.
Strawberry Cheesecake is also a little off-balance: the strawberry sorbet is as sweet as candy and the cream cheese ice cream is a little too salty to please. While it's a shame that the subtleness of the macaron's gets lost in the salt and sweet overload, the upside it that this is probably the best choice for the ice cream sandwich's original audience: kids.
About the author:Lauren McInnes is a wannabe food writer based in Brookyln. She suffers from an expensive prosciutto habit but possesses a innate gift for locating taco trucks. You can read about her brave forays into German cuisine at http://thedailyberlunch.blogspot.com/
by Tatiana Danger on LEG GODT, shared by Jessica Coen to Jezebel
Japanese artist Rie Hosokai, of Daisy Balloon, created this amazing piece of high Lego fashion for Tokyo's "Piece of Peace" charity exhibit at the Parco Museum. Structurally it's simply stunning (albeit a bit Disney Princessy). The construction, contour and shape are based on Hosokai's balloon dress. As an item of haute couture, it's not so utilitarian. But as an avant-garde work-of-Lego-art it's simply stunning.
Here's how Hosokai explains the meaning behind the piece:
There is fear in that we are all different from one another, but that is also the gateway to self-consciousness. Self-consciousness was once whole, but in the modern trend where all things whole get broken down, it too is about to get deconstructed. For that reason, people now seek to reconstruct their consciousness by extending it onto others. Through this process of extension, we have learned to unravel things down to their basic elements. We are succeeding at digging up new knowledge of what it is we all share. This knowledge that bonds different people together seems to appear suddenly, but in reality it is already coded into our planet, our universe. We construct things from the most basic building blocks. What are we to discover from this process? To find the answer, we must continue to turn our gaze toward those around us. - Text by Arata Sasaki [Daisy Balloon]
One of my favorite summer recipes is the S'meach (S'mores + Peach). By replacing the chocolate with fresh peaches rolled in brown sugar and cayenne pepper, you get a fresh, juicy, roasted peach flavor that when combined with a toasted marshmallow is just…wow.
It is so delicious, I thought why not share the love in cocktail form too? Muddled peaches with vanilla infused rum and smokey mescal mimics the peach/toasted marshmallow situation while the brown sugar and chocolate bitters take care of the rest.
The S'Meach
2 yellow peach slices 1 marshmallow 1 tsp brown sugar 3 dashes chocolate bitters (Available here: http://www.onlybitters.com/search.php?search_query=chocolate&x=0&y=0) 1 oz vanilla infused dark rum 1 oz mezcal ice
To make the vanilla infused dark rum, take one vanilla bean and split it down the center. Scrape out the seeds and put them in a 8 oz jar. Add the scraped bean pods and fill the jar up with dark rum, then close the lid. Let it infuse for at least a couple days, even a week.
Heavily toast the marshmallow on a short stick. In the bottom of a cocktail shaker, muddle together the peach slices, sugar, and bitters. Add the rum, mescal, and ice. Shake for 15-20 seconds, and strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with the toasted marshmallow.
When you go to the movies nowadays, is it hard to concentrate on what’s onscreen because people are texting or talking all around you, as if they were in their own living rooms? I hear you. I hear them, too.
As I write this, my latest terrible experience is still fresh. It happened Saturday night during the New York premiere of Mother of George at BAM Cinematek’s annual BamCinefest. You’d think the folks at one of the city’s premiere arthouses would pay attention to what’s happening inside their theaters, especially in the middle of their signature festival. You’d think.
It was like this. These two … persons, a man and a woman (God, I’m so angry I wanna just go LN26IRTUV3C55CUXWX11111!!!!!11#$%Y###%$#W ####SDGZ) who happened to be sitting behind me decided to keep up a running conversation during the film — a lyrical, meditative, exquisitely photographed portrait of the Brooklyn-based Nigerian community and what happens when a young wife is unable to conceive a child.
Maybe you can shut out the sound of two idiots yapping at a Roland Emmerich film, but much of Mother of George is wordless — or would have been if the Ugly Couple hadn’t filled the silences.
I decided, for the sake of inner peace, not to say anything, to try to focus on the screen: inhale count four … hold it count five … exhale count eight … but every so often I could hear people behind them say, “Stop talking!” The couple laughed and went right on. A half-hour went by. An hour. Periodic outbursts of “Shhhhh!” “Stop talking!” They were just low enough to keep the whole theater from turning on them, but just loud enough to keep everyone in their vicinity from becoming suitably entranced. It’s that ability to be hypnotized — to be drawn into the action onscreen — that’s destroyed by talking and/or the eye-stabbing flickers of smartphones.
I finally turned and gave the couple the evil eye, which they ignored.
And finally, finally I said, “SHUT UP!” So, for the record, did the guy next to me.
The woman said, “YOU shut up!”
What do you do in that situation? Make a scene? Go running to the manager? There was no manager or usher in or anywhere near the theater (which happened to be full and then some).
Finally, finally, finally I said, “That’s it!!!!!!” and threw a fit — just lost it. And I’m not proud of that. The person who makes a scene inevitably looks in the wrong, even if he or she is in the right. Because fits are never good. And I’m especially ineffectual. When I say, “Do you know who I am?” they generally say, “No — who are you?” and I say, “Uh. No one. Never mind.” Only in this case I found a BAM publicist, who looked appropriately stricken but had no idea what to do. Another publicist actually went over to the couple and asked them to stop, but the woman waved him off. She actually did that gesture with the hand that says, “Enough of you. Leave.” Then she went back to chattering.
The theater manager, when he eventually showed up, refused to do anything. “It’s too late in the film,” he said.
So I walked. Missed the end of this beautiful movie. But then, I’d missed a lot of it already.
As a critic, I’m lucky to see films at studio-hosted screenings, but even those aren’t safe anymore. Last year, I got stuck beside a guy taking notes with a flashlight, which would go on and off whenever he’d scribble something. When I asked him to please shut it off, he was indignant. “How do you expect me to see what I’m writing?” he hissed. Learn to write in the dark like the rest of us, schmuck, so other people aren’t distracted by your light going on and off when they’re trying to pay attention to the movie. Colleagues of mine have gotten in shouting matches with people who wouldn’t stop checking their texts.
I get many e-mails from people who say they don’t go to the cinema anymore. It’s not just the money, although the cost of tickets is crazy. They just can’t take their fellow audience members. They buy 65-inch monitors with 7.1 sound systems and wait for the Blu-ray — or take advantage of the increasing numbers of current movies available on demand.
In the end, shushing won’t do it: We have no choice but to depend on theater managers to police their screenings. But most of the time when you go to them (I’ve only done this three times — all recently — in a lifetime of moviegoing), they look terribly confused. They act as if they’ve never heard of such things. You can almost hear them thinking, “This isn’t my job.”
It should be their job.
The Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, Texas, has the right idea. Not only do they throw people out for texting and talking, but in 2011 they made an example of a texter who left them an indignant voice message by playing the whole thing before their movies. ( "… so excuse me for using my phone, in the USA, Magnited States of America, where you are free to text in a theater.") Alamo Drafthouse is coming to Manhattan and I can’t wait. They’re my heroes.
The larger question: Has our culture become so private that no one knows how to behave anymore in public? Is selfishness the rule rather than exception? Are people who say, “Shut up and turn off your phone” today’s version of “You kids get off my lawn”?
I’d love to hear from you readers about this. What do you do? Have you ever seen an audience turn on a talker/texter en masse? And I’d love to hear from theater managers and ushers: Do you think it’s your job to police screenings or is it every man/woman for him/herself?
You can comment below or send me an e-mail at filmcritic@nymag.com and I’ll post the most compelling stories in the next installment of this (I fear eternal) saga.
Just don’t f—ing e-mail me while you’re in a theater watching a movie.
Allow me to paint you a picture. Imagine you're asked to attend the wedding of a former colleague, and suppose you say yes. Instead of giving a more traditional wedding gift, you decide to go rogue by curating your own gift baskets filled with culinary delights like marshmallow fluff and Jolly Ranchers. You attach a note that reads, "Life is delicious...Enjoy." You are clever, and you enjoy the satisfaction of yet another wedding gift well done.
The day following the wedding, you awake early to wonder about which of your basket delicacies the newlyweds — two blushing brides — might delve into first. Are they playfully squirting Gushers at each other on their marital bed, or are they're wrapping each other's genitals in Fruit by the Foot? Maybe they are gouging each other's eyes out with the Ring Pops? You are happy in this moment.
Then, out of nowhere, your fun daydream is interrupted when you receive the following text from one of the brides:
Heyyy I just wanna say thanks for the gift but unfortunately I can't eat any of it lol I'm gluten intolerant. Do u maybe have a receipt
Record scratch. Wh-wh-whaaat.
This is basically what happened to one Canadian wedding attendee recently, and he documented the whole interaction in a local newspaper for posterity's sake. He writes, "As a gift, my Girlfriend and I gave [the couple] a wicker box with a hinged lid, filled with food items, most of them PC Black Label, including: tri-color pasta, salsas, Balsamic vinegar and Olive, Gourmet croutons, Panko Breading, Pesto, some baking ingredients, Biscuits from Godiva and a few 'Fun' items like Marshmallow Fluff, Sour Patch Kids and Butterscotch sauce."
Then he received the gluten text. He says he texted back to the newlyweds:
Ahh shit! Really!? We had a great time. Thank you again for allowing us to be a part of the celebration.
The man says he got to thinking, and that he realized that just a few short weeks earlier, he'd gifted the brides-to-be a certificate to the Italian restaurant he works at, and that the ladies had used the whole amount to gorge themselves on giant platters of full-gluten pasta. But whatever.
Below is the real and true text exchange between the newlyweds and the gift basket dude (well, at least according to the gift basket dude — but his version of events doesn't make him look great, so we're inclined to believe it's true). It is truly spectacular. (Sic throughout.)
NEWLYWEDS:
Hey it's [Bride 1's] wife Laura. I want to thank you for coming to the wedding Friday. I'm not sure if it's the first wedding you have been to, but for your next wedding... People give envelopes. I lost out on $200 covering you and your dates plate... And got fluffy whip and sour patch kids in return Just a heads up for the future :)
[Ed.: That smiley face should be read as "you son of a bitch."]
GIFT BASKET DUDE:
Hi, I want to tell you how incredibly insulted I am in both of the messages you have sent me over the last two days. [Bride 1], I am sorry that you have intolerance to Gluten, I am sure that makes life difficult at times. However, to ask for a receipt is unfathomable. In fact it was incredibly disrespectful. It was the rudest gesture I have encountered, or even heard of. That is until you, Laura, messaged me today.
Laura, the message you sent to me today was by far the most inconsiderate, immature, greedy, and asinine thing I have ever had the displeasure of seeing.
This is not even close to being the first wedding I have attended, and actually I have done a lot of research on wedding etiquette, a step in the process the two of you clearly skipped over (clearly displayed by Laura chewing gum, like a cow does hay, while walking down the aisle). Here is some help for you..just a heads up for the future.
The Bride's Etiquette Guide: Etiquette Made Easy, Second Edition. Here is the link.
Too bad you didn't read this, or any other etiquette guide prior to your "big day". In respect to this particular topic, I would turn your attention to pages 147-149. I am sure you will not bother to follow this link, so I will fill you in. Not only is it wrong to have an expectation of any sort of gift, it is the ultimate insult to your family and friends to mention a gift of monetary value at all, let alone be so boorish to message someone with your disappointment in said gift. Also, you should never host a party that you cannot afford, or expect your guests to pay for it. On that note, I seriously doubt that you had an expense of $100/plate. If you did, you were taken for a ride.
In retrospect, this is the exact style of behavior I should have expected from the two of you, when you used the gift card donated to your doe and doe for a personal date night, then had the gall to ask your server for the "friends and family discount".
I'm sure that one, or the two of you will mature, and grow into adults who will take a different, more respectful, LOVE based approach when you invite guests to your next wedding.
NEWLYWEDS:
Again... Out of 210 people at a wedding... The only I gift I got from all was yours... And fluffy whip and sour patch kids. Your Facebook message had nothing to do with the gift. Weddings are to make money for your future.. Not to pay for peoples meals. Do more research. People haven't gave gifts since like 50 years ago! You ate steak, chicken, booze, and a beautiful venue. To be exact the plates were $97 a person... But thanks again for the $30 gift basket my wife can't even eat. If anything you should be embarrassed for being so cheap and embarrassing yourself walking in with a gift basket probably re gifted cheap ass. Again.. Out of 210 people, you were the talk and laugh of the whole wedding!!!! Worst gift ever story Is being passed along to everyone!! How about you tell people what you gave as a 2 person gift to a wedding and see what normal functioning people say about it!! Do a survey with people u know... And tell me what 100% of them tell you!! Wake up dude
GIFT BASKET DUDE:
It's obvious you have the etiquette of a twig, I couldn't care less of what you think about the gift you received, "normal" people would welcome anything given, you wanna have a party, you pay for it, DON'T expect me to, I don't care what you or anybody thinks, you should just be happy your sham of a marriage is legal dude!
NEWLYWEDS:
Lol. Your an idiot. Go research more on life
You should have been cut from the list.. I knew we were gunna get a bag of peanuts.. I was right
GIFT BAG DUDE:
Never argue with an idiot. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. - George Carlon.
You just proved this to be true.
[Ed: Carlin rolls over in grave.]
NEWLYWEDS:
Thanks for the fluffy whip :). Have a good day
Well, at least it ended on a bright note??
And with that, I'm never going to a fucking wedding ever the fuck again.
The documentary Miss You Can Do It, which premiered on HBO last night, is a heartwarming look at the beauty pageant of the same name that celebrates little girls with special needs and challenges, founded by Abbey Curran, who has cerebral palsy and was the first woman with a disability to compete in the Miss USA Pageant.
While the film is, for the most part, very sweet and feel-good, there are some dark moments that are shared by the six different families it profiles. One family has two daughters with Down Syndrome. After their little girl Meg was born, they decided to adopt a child from the Ukraine with Down Syndrome, Alina, so that Meg could have a sister she could connect with. Basically, they're like the nicest, most giving people ever. But that didn't stop some evil people in their neighborhood from vandalizing their property, spray-painting "retoddsz" on their home and car. While the anecdote isn't pleasant, it really helped illustrate why the pageant is important, and that these kids need more opportunities to be applauded by an audience.
A Gates Foundation challenge to develop a “next generation condom” speaks to the low usage — only 5 percent of men worldwide — of a prophylactic that can curb H.I.V./AIDS.
Twinkies are set for an official comeback July 15. So junk food aficionados and loyal Twinkie fans can breathe a sigh of relief (and you can finally stop rationing your secret stash).
I've had a mild obsession with the "Bling Ring," a merry band of teenaged robbers, ever since I read Nancy Jo Sales's incredible profile about them back in 2010. (If you haven't seen the video of head Ringer, Alexis Neiers, scream-crying into the phone as she leaves Sales a hysterical voicemail, you should probably go do that right now.) When I heard Sofia Coppola was making a movie about these very privileged, very rich, very bored teenagers, I whooped with glee. How could you not love a story where one of the thieves, so confident she won’t get caught, sets aside enough time in the middle of a robbery to take a dump in Rachel Bilson's bathroom?
As excited as I am to watch Emma Watson vocal fry all over Hollywood while she rubs her face in Paris Hilton's throw pillows of narcissism, there’s something missing from Coppola's adaptation (other than Hagrid). One member of the Ring, Diana Tamayo, has been completely removed from the movie. Tamayo, an undocumented immigrant from Mexico, has been whitewashed.
There hasn't been much of an outcry about this particular whitewashing, and maybe that’s because no one wants to fight all that hard to ensure that The Bling Ring includes a negative representation of an undocumented immigrant. Immigrants are already unfairly linked to the rise in crime rates, not to mention wrongly accused of the actual destruction of the U.S. economy. This puts an unbelievable amount of pressure on immigrants in this country to comport with the "model minority" myth—especially since visa approval depends largely on personal behavior. This is a very fragile existence, one that is informed largely by portrayals of immigrants, and racial minorities as a whole, in popular culture.
But does it help to just pretend like Tamayo doesn't exist? Including her in the movie may have actually helped to chip away at this unfair standard of perfection to which we hold undocumented immigrants. Yes, immigrants make mistakes! They are regular, normal people who sometimes do things that are ill-advised. The Bling Ring could have gone a long way to upset some of the more unsavory characterizations of immigrants by depicting Tamayo as fully-fledged human being with a complicated identity—not just as embarrassing criminal caricature.
Besides, Tamayo is probably the most likable of any of the Bling Ring members. Tamayo attended the same high school in Agoura Hills (a wealthy area outside of Los Angeles) as the rest of the group, but unlike them, lived in a small apartment in Calabasas. She was elected class president and voted "Best Smile" in the yearbook. Despite this, Tamayo initially faced deportation after being charged with burglarizing Lindsay Lohan's mansion. She agreed to cooperate with law enforcement after, her lawyer said, they threatened her entire family with deportation as well. Tamayo ultimately pleaded no contest, was sentenced to 180 days in jail, and still lives in California.
And now she doesn't even get to go to any cool movie premiere parties! It doesn't benefit anyone to erase Latinos from history, even silly celebrity robbery history. Cutting Tamayo out of The Bling Ring was a mistake—a missed opportunity to show an undocumented immigrant as something more than a one-dimensional stereotype. Negative representations are bad, but no representation at all is definitely worse.
Meagan Hatcher-Mays is a recent graduate of Washington University Law School in Saint Louis. She does a significant amount of yelling on Twitter.
Everyone wants to date this A list celebrity. I would guess there are people all over the world desperate to date her, but very few get the chance. Those that do are generally disappointed. The sweetest person on the planet, but the most possessive person ever. If you thought The Goopster was a clinger, you have seen nothing like this. Texting and calling several hundred times a day to someone she is into. There is never a moment to breathe. The thing is that somehow she stopped maturing at about age 13 for some things. When she kisses there is never ever tongue involved because she thinks it is disgusting. if you end up having sex with her it is going to take a few months of dating and then when you do have sex she is going to leave everything on but the items necessary to have sex. She doesn't like it and only does it because she thinks it is expected. This of course is combined with the never ending texts and calls. Our celebrity is still very young. One of the top celebrities in the world. Most people can only put up with the texting and calling for a week before they have had enough and break up. Or so they think. It gets even worse after, but that is another item for another day.
As you know, I am very rarely a fan of remakes. I think if a movie is great, then you should just leave it alone. That being said, I think a remake of Grapes Of Wrath is a good thing and here is why. Is it a great movie? Yes. Do people watch it? Only when forced. I think that if you took the book and filmed it today that you could make it much better and much more relevant to younger people and maybe it would encourage them to read the book or another of his books. I think the way it is right now, people only watch it when they are forced to read the book and don't want to. Steven Spielberg is in talks to remake the movie, and if there is anyone who would do a respectful job of it, I would say he would.
