Bill Hanstock

(From shell_maree on Twitter w/ permission)

This is perfect.

Who sips, who imbibes, who tells your story? For Alexander Hamilton, the answer will once again be Lin-Manuel Miranda, who is heading to Drunk History to retell the story of the Hamilton-Burr duel, with alcohol this time. Entertainment Weekly has the first look from Miranda's episode, which will star Alia ... More »

Boy, the Penis family is going to have a lot to talk about on their group text this morning! After what one can only assume is months of work deciphering which celebrity name can spell something dirty, Jimmy Kimmel finally broke it to Star Trek Beyond’s Chris Pine that if ... More »

With Andrew Lloyd Webber’s deathless crowd-pleaser returning to Broadway, seven former cast members recall the strange experience of learning to play a singing, dancing feline. Bryan Batt Munkustrap, national tour and Broadway (1991–92) “I think partly because I’m a big guy, I got cast as a leading-man cat. I didn’t lock ... More »

We've come in on almost a year without any new episodes of Rick and Morty, so let this sate you. At San Diego Comic-Con, Rick and Morty's Justin Roiland re-created an actual pretrial exchange between a defendant and a judge that recently went viral for being completely bizarre. The real exchange was between the ... More »

In between fixing bars, yelling at people, inspecting deep fryers, hugging people, crying, and fixing more bars, Bar Rescue's Jon Taffer may soon also host a talk show. Variety reports that Spike TV has green-lit a pilot for an untitled late-night talk show starring and produced by Taffer. That's in addition to ... More »

Marni Nixon, who made a career out of "ghosting," or dubbing over the vocals of numerous stars in classic Hollywood films, has died at 86. Nixon provided a precisely articulated soprano for the likes of Audrey Hepburn (in My Fair Lady), Deborah Kerr (in The King and I), Natalie Wood ... More »

Mixed martial arts can be difficult to watch at times. It’s a combat sport, so occasionally, there are disturbing moments, from fighters suffering prolonged knockouts, to damaged limbs, whether from submissions or freak accidents. However, while upsetting visuals are more common, the sounds that accompany them are often far more terrifying. Let’s take a listen to some of the most brutal sounds in mixed martial arts that didn’t come out of Michael Schiavello’s mouth.

A brief note about the “selection process” for this: I didn’t want to have a lot of similar entries, like “loud body kicks” or “heavy ground and pound that gets picked up by the microphones.” I could have made a list of just Edson Barboza and Cro Cop kicking dudes, but I thought it would be better to have a nice selection of impacts and reactions.

Misha Cirkunov vs. Alex Nicholson

In terms of brutal and disgusting, knowing that this crackling is the result of Nicholson’s jaw getting broken is pretty gross.

Marco Polo Reyes vs. Cristian Soto

The Ultimate Fighter gets the benefit of limited crowd noise to really let strikes stand out. However, these two guys on the second season of TUF Latin America traded huge shots that all got picked up by the microphones.

Dong Hyun Kim vs. John Hathaway

I try not to pat myself on the back too much (except for when I totally nail a prediction), but I don’t know what else I can say about this spinning back elbow KO than when I originally covered it with “Big Dong to Face Causes Extreme Reaction.”

Yahir Reyes vs. Estevan Payan

Oof, that’s a solid thump to the brainbox. Gotta love centrifugal force and all it has contributed to fight science.

Lyoto Machida vs. C.B. Dollaway

Loud, snappy body kicks are great. Clarence Byron “Fart Face” Dollaway being in pain is also great. Clarence Byron “Fart Face” Dollaway being in pain due to a loud, snappy body kick is the greatest great thing.

Pablo Garza vs. Fredson Paixao

While not the worst sounding knee to the head, this is pretty loud. Luckily Fredson Paixao’s skull held together, unlike a fighter further down the list.

Thiago Santos vs. Steve Bosse

Take that, Hockey Man! Return to the wilds of Canada, strap your knife-boots back on your feet and go back to skating around like a chump.

Kyle Noke vs. Peter Sobotta

Kyle Noke hates your guts and is more than willing to kick your guts to death. The slight delay between the crack of the kick and the pained groan makes me appreciate every day my tummy remains unkicked.

Fedor Emelianenko vs. Brett Rogers

There’s a reason this knockout got photoshopped to have Fedor knocking Brett’s head from his shoulders and into the crowd. Big, loud, thudding punch to the face and blammo!

Matt Riddle vs. Dan Simmler

Oh man, this is uncomfortable to listen to. Riddle obliterates Simmler and then poor Dan spends a long time moaning in pain as his brain tries to piece things back together.

Mirko Filipovic vs. Igor Vovchanchyn

Of course the master of headkicks has to make the list. This Cemetery to tiny punch, man, Igor is pretty impressive.

Uriah Hall vs. Adam Cella

“Sorry, Adam” really covers it better than I can. The general quiet of a bout on TUF makes the sounds of strikes pop a lot better than a regular show.

Veronica Macedo vs. Chrissy Audin

Holy sh*t, that is the loudest kick in the world. Not even the most shameful of wrestlers would slap their thighs hard enough to make a kick this loud. Well done, Veronica.

Alexander Shlemenko vs. Bubba McDaniel

This isn’t an impact noise, but a post-attack noise. I think it is technically a death rattle.

Michael Page vs. Evangelista Santos

Oh no, oh my goodness. That dull, wet thud is horrific. We all know that Page literally broke Cyborg’s skull with this knee, so I don’t want to celebrate this, exactly. This is just recognition that this sound is the most disgusting noise ever heard in a MMA cage.

So, what did we leave out? Sound off in the comments below!

Last week, Uproxx got invited to the red carpet for the ESPY Awards. We knew that we would have to come armed with some really important questions, so we asked athletes and celebrities all sorts of stuff, including what movies always make them cry and what the best Pokémon is. (None of them said Psyduck, but they were probably very focused on the ESPYs, so that’s understandable.)

The celebrities interviewed in this video:

Jay Bilas of ESPN
Alyssa Seely, triathlete
Mark Henry, WWE Superstar
Big E, WWE Superstar
Kofi Kingston, WWE Superstar
Xavier Woods, WWE Superstar
Hannibal Buress, comedian
Maryse Ouellet, WWE Superstar
The Miz, WWE Superstar
Chris Harris Jr., Super Bowl champion cornerback for the Denver Broncos
Chris Mosier, triathlete and transgender advocate
Michael Thomas, safety for the Miami Dolphins
Ryan Harris, Super Bowl champion and tackle for the Pittsburgh Steelers
Rey Mysterio, Lucha Underground wrestler
Daniel Steres, midfielder for the Los Angeles Galaxy

Thanks to everyone who took the time to talk to us. Let us know YOUR cake or pie preference in the comments below!

Donald Trump is already a WWE Hall of Famer and he’s clotheslined Vince McMahon at a WrestleMania, so this isn’t much of a leap. It even happened on a Monday night.

Trump’s entrance at yesterday’s Republican National Convention in Cleveland was the stuff of WWE legend, so much so that it reminded any wrestling fans and/or probably McMahon family members watching of The Undertaker’s entrance at WrestleMania XXIX. The Dead Man was set to face CM Punk and entered through a foggy field of desperate hell zombies. Something something, the Republican National Convention.

Here are the two entrances mashed up, because the Internet. We think it works so much better. We just also really wish Herman Cain was his running mate, and that he’d walked on stage through hellfire and brimstone.

National treasure Kate McKinnon stopped by Seth Meyers's show Tuesday to talk about the rigors of the Ghostbusters press tour, where she puts both the "junk" and the "et" in "junket." As McKinnon explained, the weeks of exciting international travel haven't been too bad, because she's got hobbies. Hobbies like ... More »

I got a beer and food tasting at Petco Park yesterday. Holy moly, it was fantastic.

Anna Kendrick may be in six movies this year, but she’s ready to add a Marvel franchise as well: The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl. Always willing to display her acting range, Kendrick said in an interview with Net-a-Porter, "My brother sent me a Squirrel Girl comic because he thinks I should ... More »

Click to enlarge

Each year on this date I try to find and present a photo or illustration that captures America in a nutshell (here are the ones from 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, and 2008). This year’s entry — part of a series of vintage hot dog ads recently sent my way by our Collector’s Corner columnist, Brinke Guthrie — is an instant classic. How did this product fail to catch on?

Anyway: Everyone have a great holiday. The Tugboat Captain and I will be fishing on a party boat (we’ll do our best to catch a red snapper, a whitefish, and a bluegill, or instead maybe a starfish and a striped bass), but the comments are open, so feel free to chat amongst yourselves.

Three quick if/then thoughts:

• If you have a few minutes, I heartily recommend that you read the Declaration of Independence (here’s typeset version, in case you can’t decipher Jefferson’s handwriting), whose ratification is what we’re celebrating today.

• If you happen to see Jason Pierre-Paul, please keep him away from the matches.

• And if you’re spending the day in the company of a Britisher, kindly pass along my annual Independence Day rallying cry: In your face, Redcoats!

More than any other actress of her generation, Renée Zellweger's face has been used as shorthand for her career. In an industry where every female star's face is fodder for public comment, Zellweger has undergone the worst of it — ever since she gained weight for Bridget Jones's Diary (and ... More »

In response to their latest reader-submitted question, CSBG answers "Is Cyclops a sociopath?"

Back in early '70s, master of slapstick Jerry Lewis made a movie about the Holocaust. That movie, called The Day the Clown Cried, has become one of the world's great lost films, as Lewis tried to bury it after the blend of outrageous comedy and horrific subject matter went over ... More »

Crack your withered knuckles, stretch your curdled hands, and prepare to snap hard, because West Side Story may be getting a remake. The wayside news comes courtesy of none other than Steven Spielberg, who has been hoping to adapt the musical for "decades," according to The Hollywood Reporter. After finally ... More »

There really are no words to describe the above video. What it seems to display is German national soccer manager, Jochim Löw, the man who led Germany to the 2014 World Cup, putting his hand down his pants during a Euro 2016 match against Ukraine on two separate occasions. Once down the front, and once down the back.

That’s bad enough, but to make it roughly 10,000 times worse, Low went ahead and just sniffed his hand afterwards both times. Despite his horrible attempt at subtlety, there is absolutely no doubt what was going on.

May I remind you that Euro 2016 is an internationally televised tournament with millions of people watching, and somehow Löw thought he could get away with this. Depending on how germaphobic you are, this is either the most hilarious or most disgusting thing you will see all day. It’s probably both, honestly.

Somehow, this isn’t even the first time that Löw has been caught doing this on camera.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, JOACHIM LÖW. And to think he is probably shaking all of his players’ and the opposing manager’s hand after the game with that same filthy mitt.

I hereby demand that this man be banned from managing any sporting event ever again. Or at least forced to wear gloves at all times. My god. But German footballer Lukas Podolski tried to put it all into perspective for all of us:

I guess you should never throw stones if you’re living in glass crotch-and-butt-sniffing houses.

it’s on my diploma and everything. my towels are monogrammed I-F-K

Bisping wants Hendo. Hendo wants Bisping. Hendo once unleashed such a powerful right hand to Bisping’s chin, the punch was dubbed the H-Bomb and MMA would never be the same. On that fateful night at UFC 100, history was made all over the place. Brock Lesnar destroyed Frank Mir and demanded a Coors Light. GSP was on his way to cementing his place as the best welterweight in history. And Dan Henderson sent Michael Bisping’s consciousness into an orbit that would take NASA years of penny-pinching if they wanted the budget to recover it.

That punch, the H-Bomb, went on to create an endless amount of memes and has no doubt haunted Bisping for a half-decade. It’s genuinely one of the greatest moments in the history of MMA, and now Bisping wants revenge. What’s better — he wants to get revenge and have the middleweight title on the line while doing it.

Speaking to FOX Sports, Bisping laid it all on the line.

I’ll just go out on a limb and say this right now and people can talk (expletive) all they want, but the fight that I want because he’s almost retired — I want Dan Henderson. I owe Dan Henderson one. Everybody knows that. Everybody knows why.

Yes, we all know why.

“He’s still knocking people out, he’s still looking good, but he’s going to retire soon,” Bisping said. “So I would love to get revenge on him before he retires. That is the only reason for wanting him next because soon he’ll be retired and then after that he can stop using that logo of me unconscious with him floating above me. I know people are going to criticize me and say that’s a cop out but for personal reasons, that one has haunted me for a long, long time.

“Then once I dispatch of the old man and I send him packing, then I can take care of “Jacare” and your Weidman’s and your Rockhold’s. They’ll still be there. They ain’t going nowhere. But Dan Henderson is on borrowed time as we speak.”

What’s interesting about the situation is that Henderson is no longer under contract with the UFC. Hendo said his incredible knockout of Hector Lombard at UFC 199 could’ve signaled the end of his fighting career. But for a shot at the UFC title, the only major title the dual-weight Pride and light heavyweight Strikeforce champion doesn’t have*, would be too much for the 45-year-old to pass up.

*  – Hendo won the UFC 17 tournament back in 1998 like a boss.

(Via FOX Sports)

Even if you don’t watch Shark Tank, chances are you’ve heard about the transformative powers of the Squatty Potty and unrivaled cleaning abilities of the Scrub Daddy. But hidden between the show’s more well-known hits are dozens of equally clever-slash-absurd inventions that get less hype. Presented here, many of them are ... More »

Want to know the secret to the perfect stress-free summer? It's letting go of your inhibitions to focus on having fun. Forget what other people think, forget who might be watching you and just jump right into the nearest gummy-bear-shaped pool float.

READ MORE »

Welcome to Douche of the Week, where tortured Bachelorette viewers Anna Silman and Allie Jones take turns awarding male contestants on the show the honor of ... Douche of the Week.  We started out this season with the intention of naming one Bachelorette contestant the Douche of the Week. We expected their infractions to ... More »

The Disney Wonder cruise ship will be remodeled this fall, adding a Marvel Super Hero Academy kids area, complete with Spider-Man.

“that’s one amazing bed! i’ll see myself out”

...and she's no Humphrey Lyttelton, I can tell you that.