Darendukes

Even when considering Willie Smith Ward's nine previous convictions, this is excessive: On Wednesday, a jury in Waco, Texas sentenced Ward to 50 years in jail for stealing a $35 rack of ribs from a grocery store and then telling a store employee that he had a knife.

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Beyond being cute, this t-shirt also proves that pandas really can save the world. Or galaxy. Or a zoo near you.

Product Page ($24 via Shirtoid)

We first saw Boba Fett and Darth Vader motorcycle jackets at Star Wars Celebration last year, and now UD Replicas has the Boba Fett version available for preorder. It’ll make you look almost as tough as a Mandalorian. The jacket features removable body armor, a weathered design that mimics Boba Fett’s famous style and even an iPhone pocket. Full features include:

- Form molded leather armor chest, shoulder and back section.
- Detailed weathered paint chip designs on all leather armor sections.
- Classic Boba Fett Mandalorian symbols on front chest plate and left shoulder armor.
- Dual vertical front zippers create illusion of the separate vest over top of base jacket.
- IPhone pouch on left forearm sleeve.
- Hand applied blue wax weathering on base jacket.
- Light reflective center dimond.
- Strong edge seaming for all visible and hidden stitch work.
- Removable CE Approved Body Armor in forearms/elbow, shoulder and back spine
protector.
- Highly detailed, removable lightweight interior lining.
- Strong edge seaming for all visible and hidden stitch work.
- Made from Grade A Cow Hide.
- Quality high-end accessories.

You can preorder this incredible jacket now for delivery in August.

Product Page ($714.99)

Well over a year ago, we showed you the Prologue for the bizarre "Wastelander Panda" short from Epic Films; today, we're thrilled to present Episode One, in which Arcayus the Panda is caught and forced to fight for his life alongside a fellow anthropomorphic wanderer.

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About 15,000 years ago, an old female wooly mammoth plunged through the ice as she was being chased by predators. Her remains have now been uncovered by scientists working in Siberia. And remarkably, as they were digging it out, blood began to stream out. Which is weird given that it was 10° below freezing.

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Remember Evil Controllers' Kickstarter for a lithium-ion Xbox 360 controller? The controller is now a reality, packing a built-in battery that Evil Controllers claims can hold up to 60 hours of charge. They built a special unit just for us, featuring custom Joystiq iconography and colors, and we've been testing it out for a couple weeks now.

We can't verify the 60 hour claim, but we haven't had to recharge it once, and the battery indicator on the Xbox 360 dash has yet to drop by even one bar. Beyond that, the build quality is exceptional and the Evil D-pad is great for action games and shooters.

But enough chat! You read the headline and you want to win this bad boy. To enter, simply follow the directions below. We announced the giveaway during the live Super Joystiq Podcast last week. We broadcast new episodes every Thursday, and we have giveaways like this all the time. Be sure to follow us on Twitter so you know when to tune in!

Evil Controller giveaway:

• Subscribe to Joystiq's channel on YouTube. Send us a message on YouTube with your name and email. Be sure to include "Evil Controller" in the subject line. Spelling counts! Comments posted here do not qualify.
• Only one entry per person.
• This entry period ends at 12:00PM ET, Friday, May 31, 2013.
• At that time, we'll randomly select one (1) winner to receive an Evil Controller custom Joystiq Xbox 360 controller.
• For a list of complete rules for JoySwag, click here.

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What is Joyswag? Since we don't keep the games and merchandise we receive for review or promotional purposes, it becomes "Joyswag," which is passed along to our readers. Please note that Joyswag may be in "used" condition.

For more info on our policy, click here.

Joystiq tries a custom Xbox Evil Controller (and you can win it!) originally appeared on Joystiq on Wed, 29 May 2013 16:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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"What's initiative?" asks Brick, the hulking bruiser from the original Borderlands. He's seated with Mordecai, Lilith and Tina, all hunched over a table-top roleplaying game - not unlike Dungeons & Dragons - called Bunkers and Badasses.

As the tabletop game gets underway, players are thrust into "Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon's Keep," the latest DLC campaign for Borderlands 2.

Continue reading Borderlands 2: At the table with Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon's Keep

Borderlands 2: At the table with Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon's Keep originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 30 May 2013 13:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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As EA discontinues its Online Pass system for future games, existing passes are also getting the axe, making some content and even full games free, first on Xbox 360. Over the coming weeks, EA will get rid of Online Passes in its games, corporate communications rep John Reseburg tells Game Informer.

"As we discontinue Online Pass for our new EA titles, we are also in the process of eliminating it from all our existing EA titles as well," Reseburg says. "We heard the feedback from players and decided to do away with Online Pass altogether."

When the rollout is complete, EA Sports games will no longer prompt players to enter an Online Pass code, and other games will offer content for free, Reseburg says.

NeoGaf member MMaRsu compiled a list of Xbox 360 EA games that already offer free content once barred by the Online Pass, including a free copy of the original American McGee's Alice, Bad Company 2 VIP, Mass Effect 2: Cerberus Network, and more, listed in full below.

Continue reading EA eliminating Online Pass on existing games

EA eliminating Online Pass on existing games originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 30 May 2013 14:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Sir Patrick Stewart, guest of honor at this weekend's Comicpalooza in Houston, left attendees awestruck after responding with passion to one fan's gratitude for helping her deal with a history of domestic abuse.

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If Dr. Seuss made a children’s book about Cthulhu, it might look something like this. Unfortunately, there is no book – only this shirt. That’s okay though because this shirt just happens to be on sale for $12 today only. Grab it while you can!

Product Page ($12-$13)

Ten-digit dialing and a new area code are coming to Central Texas and both will soon kick in.

Because of growth, officials with the Public Utility Commission say, on June 1st , all calls will require dialing the area code plus the number.   The PUC’s Donna Nelson says by the end of the year numbers with a 512 area code will no longer be issued. 

Nelson says as of July 1st, telephone providers can begin issuing new numbers with the 737 area code. 

After far too many warnings, Superman decides to make the ultimate example out of a serial killer.

[Freddiew]

Microsoft has been granted a patent on what looks remarkably like taking the achievements system it uses for games and applying it to TV show and commercial watching. There’s no word yet on whether Microsoft plans to exploit the patent, but it’s certainly interesting timing given the Xbox One announcement.

The patent covers ” A method for awarding a user, comprising: receiving a user-viewing goal detailing a specific linear video content viewing behavior of the user; receiving one or more user-specific reports of all linear video content viewing behaviors of the user while using each of a plurality of different applications; and granting an award to the user if the user-specific reports collectively indicate the user-viewing goal is reached by the user. ”

In plain English, that means you get an award — most likely in virtual form — for watching stuff. The patent goes on to explain that specific behavior could include watching an episode of a show, watching an entire series, and watching one or more commercials that air during the episode.

Most strikingly, the patent also covers rewarding viewers if they perform a particular action during a show, with the example of holding up a specific object that can be recognized by a device’s “vision module.”

In return for this, you’ll get an award. Most of these will be virtual, with Microsoft giving the examples of increasing a “viewer score” or, bizarrely, giving a “new bicycle for an avatar of the viewer.” How this differs from giving the avatar a second-hand bicycle isn’t clear. The patent does also note that users could get a physical reward in some cases

Microsoft notes that the technology described in the patent would need several components to work, notably a way of receiving video from sources including cable TV, over-the-air broadcasts and the Internet, along with a microphone and a camera capable of detecting depth of movement. That sounds remarkably like the forthcoming XBox One.

As with all patents, there’s no guarantee anything will come of it. It seems hard to imagine many viewers will have much interest in watching a show just to get the “achievement”, while publicizing the reward program will simply draw more attention to the fact that Microsoft wants to know exactly what you’ve been watching on TV.

Who better than Neil Jordan (The Crying Game, Interview with a Vampire) to direct a mother-daughter vampire movie?

Byzantium stars Saoirse Ronan and Gemma Arterton and comes out June 28!

[Via The Mary Sue]

This video of a dachshund dentist and its big kitty client comes with absolutely no context, but one thing is abundantly clear: This is by far the cutest cleaning symbiosis in the Animal Kingdom (suck it, hippos and oxpeckers).

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When 24-year-old software developer Rob Reinhart stopped by Gawker's office last Wednesday afternoon he hadn't had a bite of solid food in four days, but was brimming with energy. Some of his pep was probably due to the fact that the previous day he launched a hugely successful crowd-funding campaign for Soylent, the liquid food replacement he invented and largely subsists on. It had received over $200,000 in a matter of hours. But the rest, he'd say, was science.

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Mass Effect is full of cool character designs, and Tali’s outfit is definitely one the most striking in the game. Cosplayer Ayimera sported a gorgeous re-creation:

This was definitely a collaboration costume. I purchased the visor from Taylor at Crabcat Industries and handed it off to Will at WM Armory to create the helmet. My friend, Meredith (who is also an amazing cosplayer), created Tali’s signature wrap/hood as a wedding present (best present ever), and Ammnra Creations did the omni-tool. I put it all together, created all the detail bits (belt, harness, boots, gloves, etc), installed a fan and tint in the helmet, and debuted the costume at Katsucon ’13!

Photographed by Mike Kowalek.

Check out more lovely photos after the break.

(via GxG)

Mens: Powder Blue Womens: Powder Blue

If you’re a fan of Archer, you’ll understand just how awesome and hilarious this shirt is. Naturally, you’ll also want to buy it because it is on sale for $11 today only.

Product Page ($11)

Artist Mike Wrobel has done his own take on the characters from Game of Thrones, giving them an 80′s & 90′s twist. From Dany with her ferrets, Drogon, Rhaegal and Viserion to a grunge Jon Snow.

Check out Jaime Lannister, Joffrey and Jon Snow after the break.

(via Laughing Squid)

Cosplaying as a character who is a ball of blue with wings requires real imagination, and this little girl has plenty. Madison Kimrey is eleven years old and she makes an adorable version of the little blue fairy, Navi, from The Legend of Zelda. She’s even got word bubbles to complete her look.

See another picture after the break…

Thanks for tip, Mary! Send your cosplay photos to tips@fashionablygeek.com.

How does Superman shave? Gillette has put the question to nerd icons like Bill Nye, Mayim Bialik, Kevin Smith, and The Mythbusters.

While I’m not the biggest fan of marketing tie ins, this is a pretty clever idea.

You can check out the videos after the break and then you can go vote for your fave answer on the Gillette YouTube channel.

(via The Nerdist)