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December 25th, 2015: That's it for 2015, everyone! For the rest of the year I will run some KLASSIC KOMICS, and then we'll be back for 2016 and what I can only describe as... funny jokes, featuring dinosaurs?? – Ryan | |||
Philip.paulsson
Shared posts
28 Dec 13:09
Convincing his classmates that his uncle worked at Nintendo and let him play Mario 4 but he can't say much because it's top secret but he will say that he played it for a bit and you get to play as Yoshi's sister, Yo-she
Philip.paulssonDumb, but I LOLed at "Convincing cats that buttholes were things to be proudly displayed at all times"
23 Dec 23:39
I Promise This Is The Worst Police Sketch You Will Ever See
by Tasneem Nashrulla
Philip.paulssonWow
Arrest this artist.
As promised, here is the worst police sketch in history. WARNING: It's traumatizingly bad.
The sketch is of 15-year-old DeAndre Charles who was arrested on Dec. 9 for the 2014 murder of a rabbi in Miami.
The Miami-Dade authorities were so proud of this magnificent piece of art that they even showcased it IN PUBLIC.
HOW?
23 Dec 15:06
60 Thoughts Every Knitter Has Around The Holidays
by Alanna Okun
Philip.paulsson@Robyn
Silent night, hole-y night.
Alanna Okun / BuzzFeed
1. Oh man, September already? Better get started on all those presents!
2. Even though it's still 80 degrees out.
3. And people are still running around in bathing suits.
4. And the thought of wool on my bare skin is enough to make me set fire to my yarn stash.
5. No, no, I have to start now.
6. Don't want a repeat of last year.
7. You know, when I tried to make socks for every member of my family, including that second cousin I never see who apparently joined a cult, and got halfway through one cuff the day after Thanksgiving before abandoning the whole thing in disgust?
8. Yeah, no.
Alanna Okun / BuzzFeed
9. But this year will be different.
10. I've already bought all (okay, most) of the yarn I need.
11. And picked out all (okay, most) of the patterns.
12. We're keeping it simple: hats!
13. Hats are so easy, I could make one for the dog!
14. And the mailman!
15. And the goldfish!
16. Okay, rein it in.
17. Cast it on.
18. How did you manage to tangle — it's fine. Just…just start again.
19. Ahh, much better.
20. Only one episode of some trashy TV show in and I've already knitted a few good inches!
21. Five episodes and halfway through!
22. Eight episodes and I forget what outside looks like!!
23. Okay, time for a break. No use wasting the nice weather while it's still here.
23 Dec 14:43
Startup medical testing company Theranos came under fire in October as the accuracy of its tests were called into question. The FDA has been investigating since then, and today more fuel was thrown on the fire by some former employees. According to T...
Former employee claims Theranos' FDA-approved test is faulty
by Nathan Ingraham
Philip.paulssonIt's too bad she doesn't date. She'd be the ideal partner. She works 7 days a week, is always at the office, and is worth $4.5 billion. With a 'b'.
Startup medical testing company Theranos came under fire in October as the accuracy of its tests were called into question. The FDA has been investigating since then, and today more fuel was thrown on the fire by some former employees. According to T...
Ben likes this
22 Dec 17:02
With a historic landing, SpaceX launches new age of spaceflight
by Eric Berger
Philip.paulssonAwesome.
Behold: The launch, and landing, of an orbital rocket. (credit: SpaceX)
SpaceX did it. On Monday night the first stage of its Falcon 9 rocket soared into space, separated from the second stage, and then made a guided flight back to a landing site in Florida. The historic flight marked the beginning of the orbital economy by promising a future of dramatically lower launch costs.
The company had twice tried to land on an autonomous drone ship. The first time the rocket hit too hard and exploded on impact. The second attempt again landed slightly too hard, breaking two of its legs and tipping over. The third attempt, at a newly designated landing site less than a mile from SpaceX's processing facilities in Florida, looked almost too easy on terra firma.
"I wasn't at all confident that we would succeed, but I'm really glad of it," Musk said in a teleconference Monday night, in response to a question from Ars. "It's been 13 years since SpaceX was started. We've had a lot of close calls. I think people here are overjoyed."
Read 11 remaining paragraphs | Comments
22 Dec 14:45
One of the biggest gripes about downloadable games (unless you're a developer) is that you can't typically resell them -- that title is yours forever, even if you'll never play it again. French consumer group UFC-Que Choisir is doing something about...
Lawsuit demands the right to resell Steam games
by Jon Fingas
Philip.paulssonI think this is a bad idea... it's gonna just make all the games more expensive.
One of the biggest gripes about downloadable games (unless you're a developer) is that you can't typically resell them -- that title is yours forever, even if you'll never play it again. French consumer group UFC-Que Choisir is doing something about...
21 Dec 15:55
Here's How The World Looked The Last Time The Fed Raised Interest Rates
by Matthew Zeitlin
Philip.paulssonFML
June 2006 was a magical time, when Adam Sandler ruled the silver screen, Shakira ruled the Billboard charts and mobile phones were still garbage.
Tim Sloan / AFP / Getty Images
There are Wall Street traders today who were mere tweens the last time this happened. And it was a terrible time to be a tween: the Nintendo Wii hadn't even been released yet.
The Wii launch date was announced in Japan a few months later.
Yoshikazu Tsuno / AFP / Getty Images
21 Dec 15:27
This Mom Shared Her Daughter's Adorable Reaction To Finding Out The Truth About Santa
by Ryan Broderick
Philip.paulssonLOL
#MiddleFingerEmoji
Last week, Nicki Adams, a mom from Maryland, shared this letter her daughter, Belle, wrote.
Adams wrote that Belle asked Adams and her husband about Santa and they decided to be honest. The only thing that made it worse was when they started laughing about the note she slid under the door afterward.
You have no idea what you just did. I really tried to believe. Everyone told me it's your parents. I can't believe you anymore. Is the Easter bunny real, how bout the tooth fairy, huh? You just ruined a 10 year old child's LIFE thanks.
Nothing will make me feel better. You lied to me about something I loved that BROKE my heart ?
#MiddleFingerEmoji
"This letter was a snapshot in time and we thought other families could relate to the dilemma," she said.
But at the same time, she said, a lot of people have had a pretty intense reaction to Belle's letter. "I think we can all remember writing notes to our parents or feeling that way as a child," she said.
19 Dec 02:30
19 Reasons Chickens Are Actually The Cutest
by Elaina Wahl
Philip.paulsson#12 is pretty neat.
Seriously. Chickens are cute.
Chickens give the best hugs.
You can meet a chicken and become friends right away.
They are the peacekeepers of the animal world.
And they are the best mothers, even if their children do look a little weird.
19 Dec 02:29
An Orchestra Played "The Nutcracker" While A Group Of Hip-Hop Dancers Slayed It
by Leticia Miranda
Philip.paulssonThey're annoyingly out of sync.
If you thought you couldn't be entertained by ballet music, think again.
The California Philharmonic revived The Nutcracker on Dec. 12 by putting a modern, hip-hop twist on the holiday ballet classic.
The orchestra's longtime maestro Victor Vener had been exploring new ways to perform The Nutcracker.
Back in July, he thought about bringing in hip-hop dancers to perform the Russian Trepak dance.
"Why don’t we put hip-hop dancers doing pinwheels and doing 21st century street dance instead of the Russians doing 19th century street dance?" he told BuzzFeed News.
The organization's executive director Brandon Dobbins immediately reached out to dancer Cyrus "Glitch" Spencer with Lythgoe Family Productions to collaborate on the performance.
Spencer jumped at the opportunity to choreograph the traditional ballet through animation hip-hop, a form of hip-hop that imitates the movements of cartoon characters.
Via youtube.com
Spencer then brought on Kevin “Konkrete” Davis and James “B-Dash” Derrick to perform.
Davis and Spencer also previously competed on separate seasons of So You Think You Can Dance?
The group chose four pieces from the ballet: "The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies," "The Spanish Dance," "The Chinese Dance," and "The Russian Trepak Dance."
Spencer stayed true to the playful nature of animation hip-hop, but also folded in elements of the traditional Nutcracker.
Kevin “Konkrete” Davis, Cyrus “Glitch” Spencer and James “B-Dash” Derrick.
Via youtube.com
The crowd of 1,900 at the Pasadena Civic Center seemed to love the performance, laughing and applauding for the dancers throughout. And who wouldn't? This performance was dope AF.
James “B-Dash” Derrick dancing to the Nutcracker's Trepak.
Via youtube.com
18 Dec 18:48
Way Too Many People Are In Favor Of Bombing The City From "Aladdin"
by Hayes Brown
Philip.paulssonLOL
Agrabah, city of mystery and enchantment, is apparently under threat of being flattened like a magic carpet.
Everyone who has ever watched Disney's Aladdin is familiar with the towering parapets and general splendor of the Sultan's palace, towering over the city-state of Agrabah.
Walt Disney Co.
Ruled by a kindly monarch, Agrabah is nobody's idea of a threat, unless we're counting that unfortunate 48 hours or so when Jafar was in command.
Walt Disney Co.
But Republican voters aren't so sure that Agrabah isn't an enemy of the United States, lying in wait for the moment to strike. At least, that's what we can discern from a new poll of GOP primary voters from Public Policy Polling.
Walt Disney Co.
The firm, which has become known for inserting insane questions into otherwise staid polls, asked voters if they would support or oppose bombing Agrabah. 30% of those asked said they'd totally be cool with (magic) carpet bombing the city-state.
18 Dec 13:22
News in Brief: Guy Wearing Chewbacca Costume Torn Between Seeing ‘Star Wars’ And ‘The Big Short’
Philip.paulssonHehe
BOSTON—Going back and forth between the two options as he approached the movie theater ticket counter, a man dressed in a full Chewbacca costume told reporters Thursday that he was torn between seeing Star Wars: The Force Awakens and the new financial film The Big Short. “I’ve been waiting for the new Star Wars movie to come out for a while, but then again, Brad Pitt’s supposed to be really good in this, and it could be cool to see [director] Adam McKay do a drama—jeez, I don’t know,” he said, adjusting his Wookiee mask and admitting that he just wasn’t sure whether he was more in the mood for an epic adventure film or an ensemble drama. “It’d be kind of interesting to hear the story behind the housing market collapse, but on the other hand, I’ve been camped out to ...
18 Dec 02:27
MystoganFT says FML
by MystoganFT
Philip.paulssonLOL
Today, some guy I don't know walked up to me and told me that he's determined to sleep with my girlfriend, then walked away while giving me the finger. I've never seen him before in my life. FML
17 Dec 20:48
Turing’s reviled Shkreli indicted for securities fraud over “Ponzi-like” scheme [Updated]
by Beth Mole
Philip.paulssonHA HA
/nelson voice
Martin Shkreli, chief executive officer of Turing Pharmaceuticals LLC, exits federal court in New York, US, on Thursday, December 17, 2015. Shkreli was arrested on alleged securities fraud related to Retrophin Inc., a biotech firm he founded in 2011. (credit: Louis Lanzano/Bloomberg via Getty Images)
In a seven-count indictment unsealed Thursday, Martin Shkreli, the embattled CEO and founder of Turing Pharmaceuticals, has been charged by the FBI with securities fraud, securities fraud conspiracy, and wire fraud conspiracy for allegedly orchestrating three interwoven schemes. In what the Department of Justice terms “Ponzi-like” schemes, Shkreli allegedly defrauded investors of two former hedge funds he managed and misappropriated $11 million in assets from the biopharmaceutical company he once headed, Retrophin, all in the course of about five years.
The charges carry a maximum sentence of 20 years, Robert Capers, United States Attorney for the Eastern District of New York, said in a press conference Thursday.
Also included in the indictment are charges against Evan Greebel, who served as outside counsel for Retrophin. Greebel, who allegedly helped Shkreli pull off the schemes, is charged with wire fraud conspiracy.
Read 11 remaining paragraphs | Comments
17 Dec 20:42
Jordan Jacobs: Brit reported missing in Thailand found 'wandering on beach' five days after mysterious disappearance
Philip.paulssonAmateur.
A British man declared missing in Thailand has been found safe and well five days after mysteriously telling his family he 'couldn't see them again' and a man 'wouldn't let him leave'.
Jordan Jacobs, 21, from Lyneham, Wiltshire, had last been seen on one of the Phi Phi Islands after accepting a free ride with a local man from mainland Thailand.
He called his family in distress on Saturday and reportedly told his family he loved them and he was 'sorry he couldn't see them one last time'.
But his distressed loved-ones received a Facebook message sent from his account this morning saying he is 'fine'.
Read more: Missing girls feared to be sleeping on buses after disappearing three days ago
His aunt Sian Ross said: "That (the call on Saturday) had been the last contact we’d had up until this morning, when he posted on Facebook saying he was fine."
Tourist police in Krabi with no longer missing Brit backpacker #JordanJacobs pic.twitter.com/26SBteMvXW
— Jerome Taylor (@JeromeTaylor) December 17, 2015
Thai Police and Wiltshire Police have both also confirmed Jordan has been found safe and well.
He is understood to have been found walking along a beach in southern Thailand as he tried to apply for a diving job.
He had been due to fly back to the UK from Bangkok today.
Local police and the UK Foreign Office were both probing the disappearance, which has attracted international headlines in the last 24 hours.
A Foreign Office spokeswoman confirmed: “Jordan Jacobs has been located by local authorities in Koh Phi Phi, Thailand, and is safe and well.
"Our embassy staff have spoken with him to check on his welfare and we will remain in contact with his family to provide any further assistance required.”
Sister Emily Jacobs had posted on Facebook yesterday: "It's been 4 days since someone last saw my little brother. Please keep sharing and posting, it is helping. We are being contacted hourly by people from around the world offering to help or with information. From the bottom of my heart, Thank you for all of your generosity.
"Any information no matter how small you think it is could be could be huge. Any sightings or potential sightings. Any contact. Anything.
"We want to have him home safe.
"Last known location was Saturday on koh phi phi Don at PP restaurant. He borrowed another travellers phone to call home. The owner of the restaurant has confirmed he was there.
"We know he left pak up hostel to head to koh phi phi Don leaving behind his other backpacker friends. He left with a local man that he met at the laundrette near to the hostel. The man offered to take him to the island for free. That evening (Thai local time) was when he called my parents. He was upset.
"My parents haven't spoken to him since.
"Please keep sharing. And thank you again for everything you've already done xxxx"
He had last been seen wearing no shoes asking a Cypriot tourist if he could borrow his phone outside a restaurant on Ko Phi Phi Don.
17 Dec 20:42
The 22 Most Painfully Awkward Things That Happened In 2015
by Dave Stopera
Philip.paulssonThat last gif tho
IT HURTS.
This handshake:
Via coub.com
This cop's big moment:
This epic DJ set:
The world's most awkward wave:
Via youtube.com
17 Dec 20:35
This 3-Minute Christmas Hallmark Movie Is Weirdly Heartwarming
by Loryn Brantz
Philip.paulssonThat's a helluva tramp stamp.
For when you want to feel warm and fuzzy, but only have 3 minutes.
It wouldn't be the holidays with out a marathon of delightfully predictable Hallmark Christmas movies playing on loop.
"Oh, I didn't love you, but now I do, Merry Christmas!"
ABC Family
But who has time to watch a whole movie of the same old thing again?
Good thing, real life couple - Ben Rosen and Charlotte Borgen decided to make a three-minute long version of these holiday classics for us to enjoy.
With their encyclopedic knowledge of Hallmark movies and great sense of humor they decided to create their own. Charlotte told BuzzFeed, "If I could get a tattoo anywhere on my body it would be the Wikipedia summary of Holiday in Handcuffs starring Melissa Joan Hart and Mario Lopez on my back."
Ben Rosen
17 Dec 19:26
1 Terrible Photoshop Of Regis Philbin In Princess Leia's Bikini
by Whitney Jefferson
Philip.paulssonWow, he got OLD.
It just may haunt your dreams.
This is Regis Philbin, television show host extraordinaire.
NBC / goodhousekeeping.com
And of course we're all familiar with Princess Leia's iconic bikini.
Lucas Films / giphy.com
Nightmare fuel.
Via stereogum.com
17 Dec 19:23
This Group Wants French Media To Start Calling This Man "Peh-Kah" Subban
by Lauren Strapagiel
Philip.paulssonLOL Damn French Canadians. Also, I've had brunch next to him.
Or just call him Denzel.
You think you know how to say this handsome man's name, right?
Harry How / Getty Images
P.K. Subban. Pee-Kay Soo-Ban. Easy.
Harry How / Getty Images
Right? Yes. Unless you're the The Association For The Support and Use of The French language. In which case, wrong.
CBC
The group, which you have probably never heard of and will likely never hear about again, sent a letter humbly requesting that French Broadcasters pronounce P.K. Subban's name in French.
Like, Peh-Kah. Not Pee-Kay.
And Soo-bauh. Not Soo-ban.
The letter was obtained by La Presse and also noted the typically Anglicized pronunciation of French players such as Vincent "Vinny" Lecavalier and Daniel "Danny" Briere.
17 Dec 19:23
How Well Do You Remember The Names Of The "Mario Kart 64" Tracks?
by Michelle Rennex
Philip.paulssonI am so ashamed. I only got 11/16. But at least I know that I'd beat you all at 16/16 of these tracks.
Keep your fuckin’ bananas to yourself.
17 Dec 19:12
How Well Do You Remember "A Christmas Story"?
by Taylor Owens
Philip.paulssonWow... only 9/10. And I watch it at least twice every christmas!
“Ohhhh, fuuuudge!”
17 Dec 19:08
We Know Your Favorite "Game Of Thrones" Moment Based On Your Opinions About "GoT"
by Vikky Mathieu
Philip.paulssonYou got: “I am the gift.”
We were waiting for this moment. Dany finally got to meet Tyrion. Needless to say, this alliance is full of promises.
We’re 100% sure that it’s not “For the watch.”