Matt.weiland

Buster: It’s so watery. And yet there’s a smack of ham to it.
Lindsay: It’s hot ham water.

S.O.B.s - 3x09

submission from @luisabaeta

Bryan Singer has been stuck at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters for a long time. Since 2000, Singer has directed four X-Men movies, and lately he’s discussed bringing back the original X-Men cast for one more movie and taking another crack at the Dark Phoenix Saga. The general impression given is that he plans to continue right on with the series after X-Men: Apocalypse. Or does he?

In a recent interview with the Los Angeles Times, the director was, well, singing a different tune. It seems the poor guy is actually downright desperate to get off the X-Men treadmill:

“The reality is, even though I’m very desperate to jump to something completely different, I’ve spent so many years in this universe and I love this cast and the characters so much, I just don’t see myself abandoning them forever. Perhaps as a consultant, as a producer, even as a director, I could see myself returning in the future. Just right now, once this one is done, I’d like to do something really different.”

The X-Men series has had mixed success without Singer behind the camera. Brett Ratner’s X-Men: The Last Stand was aggressively mediocre, but Matthew Vaughn’s X-Men: First Class was arguably the series’ best. Given the lukewarm critical response to X-Men: Apocalypse, it definitely seems like Singer could use a break to recharge his mutant batteries.

So, speculation time — if Singer does step away, who would you like to see take the reigns of the next X-Men movie?

(Via the Los Angeles Times)

In a new episode of the informative trivia series Today I Found Out, host Simon Whistler explains how the expression “red tape” came to describe the frustratingly slow and cluttered process of bureaucracy and how the term has been consistently employed throughout history.

Sometime during the early 16th century, in order to distinguish the most important documents that required immediate discussion at the highest levels of government (such as the Council of State), from those of less significance, Charles’ ministers began tying important papers together with red string or ribbon. Seeing the efficacy of such a system, the method was soon adopted across Europe, and in fact, England’s Henry VIII used red string, ribbon or cloth to secure the petitions he sent to Pope Clement VII requesting annulment of his marriage to Catherine of Aragon in 1527. Note that well before this time, tæppe had been an Old English word that meant “narrow strip of cloth used for typing, measuring, etc.” and its use dates back to at least the late 16th century. So, while it’s not clear that Henry’s court called it red tape, it is possible.

When we recently spoke to Veep creator Armando Iannucci about television’s greatest a-hole, Jonah Ryan, the former showrunner of HBO’s acclaimed comedy revealed that actor Timothy Simons has his own political ambitions. That was one of the aspects that made him so perfect for the character that was originally supposed to be a short, fat chain-smoker, and so it’s fitting that the show’s fifth season has Jonah running for Congress in his home state of New Hampshire. Of course, it’s even more fitting that Granite State voters also think that Jonah is a massive tool, so it’s just another reminder that Veep is wonderful and hilarious.

And because Veep’s creative minds love to keep piling on poor Jonah, they even gave him a real campaign website that is sure to confuse New Hampshire’s voters who do not have cable. At Jonah Ryan for Congress, you can check out all three of the character’s terrible campaign ads, as well as a gallery of the candidate on the campaign trail and photos from his childhood. There’s even this gem, which makes up for the lack of Simons in front of the portrait painted by his mother.

The real question is whether or not “Breakfast with Jonah” will really happen on December 18, because it’d be great to pour maple syrup on his head. Just a dream of mine, I suppose.

“Ruby was sanguine about the affair. It was a practice run. Everyone did it, whether anybody admitted it or not–almost all teenage love was a performance, with real emotions and real heartbreak. But it was a performance just the same. How else would you ever tell someone that you loved them and mean it, if you’d never said it before?”

–Emma Straub, Modern Lovers

Arrow recently wrapped up its fourth season, and it was a bit of a mess. Still, Arrow has always been a little silly; that’s part of the charm. This is a show that, over four season finales, has destroyed slums with an earthquake machine, had an army of Deathstrokes invade Starling City, sent nukes flying across the world and, most unbelievably, had its hero marry a lesbian ninja in a sham marriage. You’d think fans would roll with it by now, but the Arrow subreddit has apparently had enough.

How much did they hate the finale? We’ll let a screenshot explain:

Don’t adjust your screen! This is the ‘Arrow’ subreddit with just a few minor changes. 

The fans have, presumably temporarily, run into the arms of Matt Murdock, although if they’re complaining about a finale full of ridiculous magic and plot holes, that doesn’t seem the best option. We loved the second season, but come on, it ended with Elektra being sealed into what’s best described as an iron lung powered by blood.

It’s fair to say Arrow is struggling, creatively, and the season finale ended on an extremely odd note with the cast going their separate ways. It felt more like a series finale than a show that will be back next season. Part of the issue is the CW’s DC universe keeps expanding; 2014 saw the arrival of The Flash, Legends of Tomorrow debuted in early 2016, and next season Supergirl will swoop in to save the day. And if you pay attention, there’s a lot of overlap between the shows: they all share quite a few writers, directors, and behind-the-scenes staff, and the strain is beginning to show, in Arrow and elsewhere.

Still, we’re willing to give it another chance. Arrow has had no shortage of silly episodes over the last four years, and we’re confident the show can pull it out. If nothing else, the fourth season had Malcolm finally getting what he deserved. Maybe in the fifth season, Ollie and his buddy Hal can wander America in a truck?

(Via Dorkly)

Like flies to a turd, Teen Mom and Backdoor Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham is once again is attracting drama, this time over a reported sex tape with she allegedly filmed without her partner’s consent. Jonathan Lee Riches, a man claiming to be the real father of Abraham’s daughter Sophia, filed a request for a temporary restraining order back on March 14th of this year.

In the papers Riches claimed that during a tryst with Abraham at an Iowa Holiday Inn in 2012 (that part sounds right, anyway), he was filmed without his knowledge or consent, and that he’s now being blackmailed to the tune of $1,000 per month for her not to leak the tape.

Unfortunately for Riches, the rest of it sounds like the ramblings of an insane person who filed the documents by smearing his own sh*t on the wall.

“I was actually filmed without my consent by her and now Abraham is selling this illegal tape to the Adult Entertainment Industry for millions of dollars,” he claimed in the documents.

“I am the true father of her daughter Sophia and though I committed pedophile acts by getting Farrah Abraham pregnant when she was a teenager, I was only acting on the advice of my mentor Josh Duggar.”

I don’t know if it was the part about a Farrah Abraham sex tape selling for “millions of dollars” or the Duggars being dragged into it, but a judge dismissed the case shortly after on March 21st. For her part, Abraham says, “This makes no sense and is not true clearly. Everyone knows who Sophia’s dad is.”

Farrah Abraham’s relationship with “reality” may be cloudy at best, but it looks like she wins this round.

(Radar via BroBible)

One great thing about Star Wars: The Force Awakens is all of the opportunities it affords us to make jokes, particularly at the expense of the tantrum-throwing emo Kylo Ren. And the newest meme imagines Han Solo making dad jokes, to his son’s exasperation. Yes, these memes contain a depressing spoiler. No, you don’t still get to complain about spoilers for one of the highest-grossing movies of all time that’s also been out for months. Does anyone not know Kylo Ren is Ben Solo and kills his absentee father in a gut-punch of a scene at the end?

We should have seen this meme coming. Back when we wrote about Harrison Ford’s injury saving Star Wars: The Force Awakens, we posted this joke:

But there were a lot more Han Solo dad jokes to come, as if millions of voices cried out “Hi ‘being torn apart’, I’m dad” and were suddenly silenced. Now Imgur member I Like Beards has made a full set of Han Solo dad jokes, starting with one we’ve all heard before:

We also heard Kylo Ren is shredded, but Han Solo doesn’t agree.

And it just keeps getting sillier from there:

(Via Imgur and Geeks Are Sexy)

The New York Times Magazine has a story this week on the political operation behind Donald Trump’s rise to power. Of particular note is the introduction of Paul Manafort, a mean motherfucker who has whipped everyone into shape—including the rock star vaping congressman, Duncan Hunter :

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There are only two questions that I’m interested in seeing answered during this season of Game of Thrones: Is Ramsay Bolton going to get fucked all the way up? If he is, who is going to do it?

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The Mountain from Game of Thrones, otherwise known by his real name, Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson, as he for some reason likes to be called, is notorious for many things. The record-breaking Europe’s Strongest Man plays tug of war with tractors, carries around refrigerators the way you or I might carry bags of groceries, and can toss around a beer keg like it’s a dang hacky sack.

But did you know that Björnsson is also an animal lover? (And we’re not talking about his ability to eat whole entire chickens, plural, in one sitting.) Recently Björnsson adopted a teeny, tiny Pomeranian puppy, and it appears that the two have become instant friends. The 6-foot-7, nearly 400-pound strongman has been sharing pictures of his puppy named Asterix on Instagram, and it is basically the cutest thing ever.

Here are the two engaging in a bit of cardio together:

And of course, he posts plenty of cuddly selfies with his pup:

Asterix even helps out with the grocery shopping!

Gracious enough not to make his dog share the spotlight, Björnsson gave Asterix his own Instagram account, so you can follow his adventures.

(Via Buzzfeed)

Michael: You burn down the storage unit?
T-Bone: Oh, most definitely.

Top Banana - 1x02

Tobias: Quick question, though. Am I panicked about the fire, or am I being brave for everyone else?

Top Banana - 1x02

submission from Graham Richardson

If you need another reason to get excited about all the new attractions and entertainment coming to Hong Kong Disneyland this year, here’s one more: Marvel’s Iron Man Experience has officially begun ride tests.

Iron Man Experience is the all-new attraction we’ve been eagerly waiting for since it was first announced in 2013. Hong Kong Disneyland announced today that ride system tests by their expert team of Walt Disney Imagineers are a go as construction nears completion. Once it opens, it will officially be the first Marvel ride-through attraction at a Disney Park. The new ride will be opening in Stark Expo in Tomorrowland.

The story begins when Tony Stark (aka Iron Man) decides to bring the Stark Expo to the park. Guests can visit the Expo and explore the latest and greatest innovations from Stark Industries. They’ll go aboard an Iron Wing vehicle, the latest flying transport invented by Stark Industries, and journey through Hong Kong streets and the iconic city harbor as they battle against the evil forces of Hydra alongside Iron Man.

The new Marvel-themed area will also include a cool interactive “Become Iron Man” experience, exclusive themed merchandise and an immersive, story-driven character greeting with the man himself…Iron Man.

We’ve entered the White Supremacy Mad Libs portion of the election, which means you should expect sentences like “Donald Trump just disavowed his longtime butler because he said Obama should be hanged.”

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By Robert Niles: Pirates of the Caribbean might be Disney's most famous theme park franchise, thanks not just to iconic rides in parks around the world, but also to the billion-dollar-plus movie series, starring Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow.

Ditching the cliche, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it," Disney chose to develop an almost entirely new Pirates of the Caribbean ride for Shanghai Disneyland, creating an experience that does more to evoke the Pirates film series than the original 1967 Disneyland ride.

Here is the first decent-quality fan-recorded full ride video that we've seen for Shanghai's Pirates of the Caribbean: Battle of the Sunken Treasure.

The makes strong use of projection mapping and screens in addition to animatronics most associated with Disney's Pirates rides. To me, that skeleton-to-Captain-Jack effect promises to become one of the most talked-about moments in any theme park ride, anywhere

 Jonny Papelbon 
 faced seven batters for save, 
 gave up three runs, lost 

 walk off road losses might hurt, 
 but shitty humans hurt worse 

Nerds everywhere ought to be a bit sad that the Obama presidency is about to come to an end. Regardless of your political leanings, it’s clear the most powerful man in the world is one of us. He drops Batman references into his speeches, busts out the Vulcan Salute at every opportunity, and celebrated his final May the Fourth in office by having a full-on Star Wars dance party.

Of course, politics and building bridges is never far from the president’s mind. R2-D2 just so happens to be hanging out at the White House with Barack and Michelle on Star Wars Day (Because where else would he be?) and, naturally, “Uptown Funk” starts playing, leading to an outbreak of galactic boogie fever. So far, so expected, but then Obama turns and invites a group of stormtroopers to join the party, and just like that, animosity is cast aside and walls are broken down. Surely the Rebel-Empire peace summit/disco party will go down as one of Barack Obama’s greatest achievements.

Enjoy this kind of stuff while it lasts, because the president of the United States raising the roof with droids may be become a rare sight soon. I suppose we might see the occasional Darth Vader fist bump if Trump wins, but otherwise, the White House may never be this nerdy again.

(Via The White House on Facebook)

George, Sr.: Hold on. I don’t have time for your magic tricks.
G.O.B. :Illusions, Dad. You don’t have time for my illusions.  

Pilot - 1x01

Prepare to feel power drunk: At this year's Kentucky Derby, NBC Sports reporter Johnny Weir will don a brooch that gallops and lights up at your command. According to The Verge, the brooch will get hot to trot whenever people tweet the hashtag #WatchMeNeighNeigh, a campaign that is actually quite ... More »

It seems hard to believe Star Wars: Episode VIII is already halfway through shooting. The world hung on every minute scrap of information leaked from the Star Wars: The Force Awakens‘ set, but the production of Episode VIII has been much more low-key. Hell, you’d be forgiven if you didn’t even realize production of Lucasfilm’s next mega-project had started.

But yes, Star Wars: Episode VIII has been filming since February at Pinewood Studios in the UK, and based on the “no news is good news” principle, things must be going smoothly. Episode VIII director Rian Johnson shared a couple of new behind the scenes photos on his Tumblr to celebrate production hitting the halfway mark, and they’re definitely the most revealing things we’ve seen from the set to date.

Click for full-sized image

Man, that is some pretty retro design. It’s beyond my level of Star Wars expertise, but perhaps something could be gleaned from what’s on that monitor? It appears to perhaps show something targeting…something?

Click for full-sized image

Welp, the X-Wings won’t be left out of this one. Also, apparently everything in this movie is going to be very well-polished. The microfiber cloth budget must be astronomical.

Star Wars: Episode VIII filming should wrap sometime in late June, at which point Rian Johnson’s team will have over a year to tinker and work on effects before the movie’s Dec. 15, 2017 release date.

(Via Screen Rant and Rian Johnson on Tumblr)

A side effect of no one watching television at the same time anymore — no one even watches television on televisions these days, for that matter — is a decrease in viewing parties. The days when you’d invite your friends over and gather ’round the boob tube to watch the latest episode of Caroline in the City are long gone. Except for one water cooler show: Game of Thrones, which caused many a water cooler spit take with its final scene last night.

College students everywhere texted mom for the first time in months to make sure they hadn’t changed the HBO Go password, including UCLA’s Mark and Kate, who hosted a viewing party… attended by none other than Maisie Williams. Before the premiere, the sneaky Game of Thrones actress tweeted, “ANY @UCLA STUDENTS HAVING A VIEWING PARTY TONIGHT? TWEET A PICTURE OF YOUR PARTY USING #GameofThrones FOR A SURPRISE.”

Here’s what happened.

Earlier today I put this out to everyone on Twitter… I wanted to find some unsuspecting fans and surprise them with drinks and snacks before the premiere episode tonight… I found a couple, Mark and Kate, film students, who were throwing a party at their apartment, with a few friends. So at 8pm we left the hotel to go get snacks. (Via)

We saw (on Twitter) that Mark and Kate had already made Game of Thrones themed snacks, and decorated their apartment, but who doesn’t love extra popcorn and crisps?

SNACKS DONE. We were on our way to surprise our lovely fans!

We could hear the party inside so we had to be REALLY quiet!

Firstly, I met Mark. The buzzer was broken so Mark came down to let us in. After exhaling a “HOLY SH*T!”, we hugged it out and he helped us inside.

Mark and I devised a cunning plan. He would enter first declaring that they had won the GoT swag (this was a ploy we made up to throw people off the scent) and I would follow after hoping and praying that everyone would actually recognise me.

My favourite part is how excited they sound to win the swag, little did they know, I was just around the corner…

They had the coolest Game of Thrones decorations, but this was my favourite. My money’s on dead, it seems I’m outnumbered.

I went there to surprise them with snacks, but when I got there, I found myself trying one of every single snack they had made.

They were catching up on the last episode of Season 5 when I went in, and we all giggled nervously as we took pictures during the famous “shame” scene. I had the most amazing time, everyone was so welcoming and excited… Thanks to Mark, Kate and company for having us in your lovely flat. Enjoy the rest of Season 6.

P.S. Thanks for the dragon egg cookies, they were THA BOMB

The irony of Arya attending a viewing party was presumably lost on everyone.

Part of what made the recently-departed Prince so immensely popular was not just how great his music was, but also just how downright strange he was. Prince was so comfortable in his own peculiarities that he reveled in them and was able to create a larger-than-life persona for himself, offsetting his rather small stature. Stories like the ones told by Dave Chappelle and Kevin Smith have helped to define who Prince was to the public at large in part because he was such an enigmatic figure that we’d eat up anything we could get about him.

If anything, what Prince presented to the world was a unified front and if you wanted to define just who or what Prince was, look no further than his weird 90’s CD-ROM game, Prince Interactive. What lined bargain bins of Comp USA’s across the country in the 90’s (I had a copy from one of those for 99 cents, my mom bought it for me) is now a much-sought after collector’s item and Mashable got their hands on a copy. They even got the thing to work, which is a miracle for older games like that without patches galore.

Prince Interactive came out in 1994, during the height of Prince’s utter disdain with Warner Bros. and a string of releases that he wasn’t exactly proud of. Prince was looking to make his new band/entourage of the New Power Generation (NPG) a thing, just like the Revolution were a thing in the 80’s. A part of building that popularity and familiarity with the NPG was Prince Interactive. The game played and looked a lot like the super popular Myst did, but it took place in a digital Paisley Park and was coated in gold and purple.

What was truly interesting about the game was that it really didn’t have much of a point to it outside of it being about Prince. Rewards for continuing on in the game ranged from short clips of concert footage to interviews with people like George Clinton, Eric Clapton and Stevie Wonder where they just talked about how great Prince was. There were only nine rooms total in the game and the whole goal of the game was assembling Prince’s enigmatic symbol to unlock a final room. The thing is, the point of the game was really just talking about how great Prince was and further building up the image that he was just so different.

The game was uniquely Prince and really summed up the person, the myth and the legend. Sure, it wasn’t much of a game and couldn’t really compare to David Bowie’s appearance in Omikron, but what could? Omikron was also an actual game, while Prince Interactive was just a really weird CD-ROM press kit that people paid money for.

(Via Mashable / GiantBomb)

Here we have Labour MP Dennis Skinner addressing British prime minister David Cameron with a pithy schoolyard nickname related to Panama Papers revelations as their colleagues howl around them in a mixture of delight and disgust. It crescendoes in Skinner delivering a thunderous applause line and then being tossed out of Parliament by a guy who looks like this:

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Coming off her husband’s hard to watch exchange with Black Lives Matters protestors last week, you’d think Hillary Clinton would be extra sensitive to anything that could even potentially paint her as racist right now. Which makes her and Bill de Blasio’s ill-advised joke about “C.P. time” or “colored people time” at a dinner this week all the more bizarre.

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Mike Francesa has two sons: Jack and the dreaded Harrison. This is the story of how they manipulated him into ordering last night’s Wrestlemania on pay-per-view:

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Peter Dinklage is hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend, so be sure to tune in to see how he does. Gwen Stefani is the musical guest for the episode, which airs Saturday night at 11:30PM ET on NBC.

Teasing the upcoming appearance, SNL released these funny new promos with Dinklage and SNL star Cecily Strong.

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Game of Thrones is pitching into the effort to raise money for the International Rescue Committee, and has shared another funny video in the effort to encourage fans to donate to the cause. Fans who donate are also entered into a contest, with a possibility of winning a trip to LA and the Game of Thrones season 6 premiere event!

In this new video, Lena Headey, Sophie Turner, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and more stars of the show play a round of “Swords or Metal Band.” Check it out and see how you stacked up against the stars of GoT. 

The post Game of Thrones stars play “Sword or Band” and Dinklage hosts SNL this weekend! appeared first on Watchers on the Wall.