500daysoffuckyou:

EXCUSE ME BUT IT’S 2012 AND THERE’S STILL NOT AN OPTION TO HIGHLIGHT TEXT THAT’S IN ALL CAPS AND CHANGE IT TO LOWERCASE OR VICE VERSA AND IM SORRY BUT THAT’S BULLSHIT

Wear clothes that actually fit your body and make you feel good. Don’t buy the t-shirt you feel sort of fat in because guess what? You will always feel sort of fat in it! Furthermore, don’t buy an item of clothing that’s too tight as motivation to lose weight. You won’t do it and the item of clothing will just sit there, taunting you and your body.

Spend less time hate-reading things on the Internet and more time reading things that will enrich your brain. Reread your favorite novel or essay and try to glean something new from it. Read something that will motivate you to create something, that will motivate you to be somewhere different than where you are. When in doubt, just listen to a particularly inspiring podcast of This American Life. That usually gets the job done.

Surround yourself with people who make you want to be a better person. More kind, more considerate, more productive. We are a reflection of our surroundings, which means that if you’re hanging out with gross people, you’re going to be a little bit gross. Spend time with people who excite you, who possess qualities you would like to have. Walk away from a hangout session feeling invigorated, not dejected.

Take yourself out on dates. Go to the movies by yourself at 3 o’clock in the afternoon and try not to feel so small. Eat lunch outside and bring a book so you’re not just staring into space. It might be scary at first but you’ll settle into it. It’ll feel good. After it’s over, give yourself a kiss on the cheek and text yourself in the next 24 hours saying, “I HAD SUCH A GREAT TIME! LET’S DO IT AGAIN?” Respond immediately with “YES.” Phew. Pressure is off. You are into you!

Let go of the ex who treated you badly. Let go of all the terrible things that have ever happened to you and replace it with this optimism, this certainty that everything will be okay and that you’ll eventually become the person you were meant to be. Some days, it will feel like you’re so far away from accomplishing your goals and that’s okay. Goals are meant to feel far away. That’s why we work towards them! To get some perspective, just think of where you were two years ago and I guarantee that you’ll see that progress has been made.

Avoid the following things: Going to parties with people who are more successful than you, eating over the sink at 4 a.m., talking to your parents about money, talking to ANYONE about money, getting lunch with an old best friend you have nothing in common with anymore, kissing someone who makes you feel nothing, kissing someone who makes you feel too much, not kissing anyone at all for a prolonged period of time, not leaving your apartment for an entire weekend, engaging in behavior you know will make you feel ashamed. Easy as pie, right?

Right.

Pay attention. Be self-aware. Try your best to understand those around you. Through understanding others, you’ll gain a better understanding about yourself.

Change is gradual. Change doesn’t happen with a new pair of jeans or moving to a different city. It comes from within. Our generation has no real markers for where we should be. We get there when we get there. The answers are less obvious and clear. All you can really hope for is that you survive with your self-respect intact. In the meantime, just enjoy the ride.

And if you feel nauseous at any time, feel free to throw up.

You should follow Thought Catalog on Twitter here.

This post is part of an ongoing series on Thought Catalog in partnership with smartwater. smartwater, live a life well hydrated. Click here to learn more.

via http://thisisnthappiness.com/

Have you ever noticed how well bikinis match up to the covers of some of the greatest works of literature? Oh, you haven’t? That’s because it’s a freaking weird thing to notice. That said, I can’t believe how well these bikinis match up with the covers of these famous books.

A new site, Matchbook.Nu, pairs well-loved tomes with itsy-bitsy bikinis. They work so well, it’s sort of mind-blowing.

Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse Five

Kudeta / Slaughterhouse Five

This bikini believes life is fruitless and free will is illogical. More like Poolhouse Dive…ing into the water. Kilgore…something about trout being in rivers? Okay. It’s not my best work.

Sloane Crosley’s I Was Told There’d Be Cake

Marc By Marc Jacobs / I Was Told There’d Be Cake

Well, little fashionista. I was told there’d be floaties and pool noodles but we can’t always get what we want.

Yann Martel’s Life of Pi

Europann / Life of Pi

One more and then you just have to go to the site and see them all. This one’s a dude’s suit. I almost don’t believe the designer wasn’t purposefully inspired by the cover. It’s an exact match.

Sometimes these viral Tumblrs are obvious and boring, but I love this one. It’s so brilliant and weird. I want more.

You should follow Thought Catalog on Twitter here.

image – Matchbook.Nu

via http://society6.com/agrimony/How-much-do-I-love-you_Print

via http://www.tumblr.com/dashboard

БГ собрал дайджест самых ярких твиттер-сообщений из зала суда над Pussy Riot за сегодняшний день

Ну, где раннерс хай, там и раннерс лоу, так ведь? Я адски работала весь день (ну, вру. драматизирую. не адски, а просто долго, сидя и не выспалась.) и оставшиеся свободные полчаса до похода в детсад решила использовать максимально продуктивно - а это плохой знак, потому что я всегда начинаю метаться туда-сюда - а, чо, воркаут, или бежать, или йога, или всё-таки бежать - просчитывать результаты и вложенные усилия, и пока раздумываю, проебываю всё время. В этот раз я решила бежать, и, как показала практика, напрасно.



Нет, ну то, что мне не хотелось - это ладно. Мне очень редко хочется выходить на пробежку. То, что адский ветер дул сразу во ВСЕ стороны, и сильно - это тоже ладно. Ну, дополнительная резистанс, круто. Но мне было тяжело. Как же мне было тяжело. Я едва не падала, проделав чуть больше половины из отмеренных 28 минут, что с дыханием было - вообще страшно сказать, ну, в общем, всё шло явно через жопу, но я уже вошла в терминатор-мод (когда мне тяжело бежать, я представляю себя Т1000, который догоняет Шварца и Джона Коннора бегом, а они от него на грузовике съебывают. он еще руки держит не в кулаках, а прямо. я так делаю, когда никто не видит, может, это какой-то секрет), и думала - похуй веники, добегу.

И тут меня останавливает молодой мужчина с годовалым ребенком на плече и что-то говорит. Я по большой глупости останавливаюсь, вынимаю наушники - а? чо? А он радостно спрашивает: где здесь магазин велосипедов?

Из всех прохожих. Меня. Бегущего человека в наушниках.
Остановить и спросить про велосипеды.
Сука.
Проклятые велосипедисты.
Ни о ком, кроме себя, не думают.
Проклятый ПМС.

Но всё верно, karma is a bitch. Так я получила по шапке за то, что гоню на велосипедистов (за их блядскую наглость на тротуарах, кстати, а не от сварливости).

В общем, как можно неопределеннее махнула рукой - магазин был совсем рядом, за углом, выдохнула - ТАМ! и убежала. Но конечно, не тут-то было - я и так разогналась с большим трудом, и повторить этот подвиг не удалось. Я впервые, так сказать, сошла с дистанции, остановилась раньше положенного, и это было так обидно, вам просто не передать, что я села на скамейку прямо там, где стояла, в центре, и плакала, громко, прям в голос, согнувшись пополам, будто на моих глазах топят самых хорошеньких котят в мире.
Проклятый ПМС.

Надо сказать, что если бегущий человек в центре Лиепаи вызывает свою долю косых взглядов, то плакать можно, сколько угодно и как угодно, никто даже не заметит. Жаль, такая драма пропала зазря.


Ну, потом меня спас прекрасный чудесный любимый микс от Николаса Джара - 
http://mixing.dj/2012/livesets/nicolas-jaar-essential-mix-sat-05-19-2012-talion/

если кто не слышал, там в первом треке Анджело Бадаламенти рассказывает, как они с Линчем сочиняли музыку для Твин Писка. очень красиво. (на этом месте я чуть не расплакалась еще раз, но это было в очереди "максимы", а там такие рожи стоят после Лиго, что какие уж тут слезы).

У вас бывают дни, когда вы так вот останавливаетесь - и дальше не можете? Я говорю не о тупо лени - я очень очень очень хотела закончить пробежку, но из-за злости и бессилия не смогла. Или это злоебучие велосипедные боги меня наказали. Скажите, завтра ведь будет всё хорошо, да? Я побегу, как новенькая?

Только что я прочитала статью про runner's low (чорт, кажется, я нарушаю целибат - но это же не фейсбук, райт?), и там говорится, что в этих случаях помогает просто выйти и без цели бежать сколько бежится. I think that's exactly what I'm gonna be doing now. Я проверю эту теорию - раз, меня штырит от кофе с молоком - два, и, может, немного реабилитируюсь в собственных глазах - три. А поможет мне в этом пиздатый парень Format B со своим техно-миксом.
http://mixing.dj/2012/livesets/format-b-mayday-special-set-27-04-2011/

P.S. Да, я могу объяснить свою неприязнь к велосипедистам. Я им просто завидую. Потому что сама я не могу сесть на велосипед при всем желании - мне ОЧЕНЬ, ОЧЕНЬ страшно. Лет шесть назад один парень пригласил меня на свидание, ну и решил блеснуть оригинальностью - взял два велосипеда и повез меня на бикерниекскую трассу. Я и тогда очень плохо каталась, но, конечно, сделала вид, что я невъебенно смелая, и поехала. Виляя вправо-влево. Но тут дорога пошла на спуск, я испугалась, и попыталась на ходу соскочить.
Ну и чо, соскочила.
Прямо этим самым об раму.
Со всей дури.
Да-да, вы правильно поняли. ПИЗДОЙ.
До крови.

Ну, конечно, конфуз жуткий, потому что и не посмотреть, что там; и больно, и страшно, и вообще на свидании с разбитой пиздой тусить не комильфо. чувак, естественно, тоже запарился, потому что меня жалко, но делать что-то надо, а идти я не могу, то есть, к машине сначала надо нести либо меня, либо велосипеды. Ну, он рассудил, и решил, что если я немножко полежу на обочинке, то меня никто не украдет, а вот велосипеды спиздят непременно, и повез сначала их. Я пережила звездные полчаса своей жизни  - прохожие оказались отзывчивы и любопытны, хотя, лежа на траве с пятном на штанах, я бы обошлась без излишнего внимания. Наконец, вернулся чувак, отнес меня в машину, отвез домой, ну и всё такое.
Кстати, как вы думаете, что он у меня спросил перед сном?

Альфред, если ты когда-нибудь это прочитаешь, знай, что я тебя не простила, и не прощу никогда!

И с тех пор я боюсь садиться на велосипеды. Даже без рамы.

peryr:

belugaqueen:

this is the stupidest thing i have ever seen holy shit why would anyone even think this was funny

THERE AREN’T EVEN ENOUGH PENNIES FOR THAT TO BE FUN

i’m not nearly as offended at the blatant slut-shaming as i am at the fact that someone has french tip acrylic nails in 2012

abstractthoughts:

My girlfriend recently got a cornea transplant. Here is a high res image of the stitches in her eye

Inspiration: Fabergé Eggs, Mary Katrantzou AW11, Max Mara gold-encrusted sweater on Vogue UK August 2012

What you’ll need
Base colour, glitter colour in similar hue or gold, glitter dust (Mine is from BarryM), base & top varnish  (I’m using Essie First Base base coat & Essie Good to go top-coat), a pencil with an eraser butt, a pin, Gold/Silver nail-art pen (I’m using Topshop nail art pen). Secure the pin into the eraser, it should go relatively deep into the butt!

File and buff nails to egg-shape or simply neaten to a unified length

Apply base coat

Apply base colour, then apply a coat of glitter polish of a similar hue for a jewel effect.

Using the nail art pen, make fine criss-crossing lines

I’ll be honest, this ‘inspiration’ does not stem from some encyclopaedic knowledge of art history, or anything remotely similar… in fact I had to google it at first and on spelling it ‘faberze’ Dr Google gave me all sorts of buying choices for Febreeze. Yes I’m shallow like that, and guess what hubby, we’ll never ever run out of air-refresheners, your clever wife just bought fifteen boxes online! And while I’m confessing and all, over the weekend I watched Ocean’s Twelve where George Clooney, Brad Pitt et al try to steal a Fabergé egg – and you guessed it – that’s where this idea comes from. I’m so deep it hurts sometimes.

A few tips:

• If the nail pen is difficult to control when doing your right hand (or left, if you’re right handed) (screw you if you’re ambidextrous, you superior person), try pushing out a dollop onto a scrap paper, then paint the lines on by ‘leading’ a bit of polish using the tip of the pen. You can also advertise for a flatmate for this nail-do then evict her/him out once you’re done.
• For the criss-crossing pattern, start from the inner corner of the nail and draw to the opposite mid-point, that should set a good angle for the rest of the lines. (Or else you’ll end up doing something like my left hand ring finger)
• If you have flower/star-shaped glitter try making bigger criss-cross pattern, and then add the glitter into the diamond a la Mary Katrantzou AW11

“If you get embarrassed every time you drop a pad or tampon—and it will happen—or every time a dude looks through your bag for a pen and finds one of these items instead, he gets to pretend that he is ignorant and that you are yucky for one more day. And that’s a day none of us can afford. Sooner or later, he’s going to be 53, and in Congress, and saying that he just doesn’t understand why people NEED birth control, all because no one had the decency to sit him down and tell him to stop pretending he doesn’t know about vaginas.”

- Rookie Mag (via hurrl-scout)

suicideblonde:

Scarlett Johansson photographed by Mario Testino

Lana Del Rey for an unknown photoshoot #1, 2009.

via http://eatsleepdraw.com/post/11298388486/oliverandlyvia-tumblr-com

Lists like these are hardly new. But really, I’ll take any excuse to turn my day job into Googling pictures of hot cartoons.

Yep. Hot cartoons. Don’t deny you have some long-held nostalgia crushes on these inked fellows. Long before any of us knew what sex was, we felt stirrings in the loins for the drawn boys we saw on our TV and movie screens.

There are some obvious choices missing from this list, namely because I tried to focus on pure hotness and disregard any sort of personality exceptions (I see you, Beast, but you’re only hot for like 2 seconds at the end so…) Let’s be shallow. Lord knows, if Jessica Rabbit can exist then dudes are fair game too.

Kocoum from Pocahontas

Pocahontas / Amazon

He’s got paw-print tats on his boobs like the rapper Eve and he’s not the movie’s strapping leading man, but who cares? Have you seen Kocoum? What the hell was Pocahontas complaining about? Boy is built. His chest is the size of the willow tree’s entire trunk. Okay, so he’s a serious bummer and he accidentally strikes Pocahontas while trying to attack John Smith, but going by looks alone? I will paint with all the colors of the wind — with my tongue on his ab muscles.

Simba

The Lion King / Amazon

I blame this on young Simba being voiced by 90s sexpot Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Sure, he’s a lion (and the internet is already too creepy) but he’s a good soul who bravely weathers family tragedy, grows up and becomes king. What’s not to find hot?

Trent Lane

Daria / Amazon.com

Daria, girl. No one blames you for figuring out you had human emotions by falling for one Mr. Trent Lane. He’s dark, he’s aloof, he plays in a band. He’s pretty much the archetype for swooning hearts everywhere. Oh, Trent. So inaccessible. So dark. So…guitar-playing. Break my heart, Trent Lane. Break all our hearts.

Prince Eric

The Little Mermaid / Amazon

Prince Eric has all my weaknesses — dark eyebrows and a big, white smile. He’s the most traditionally handsome of the Disney princes and so maybe that makes him easy to overlook or boring. But he’s also the kindest and the happiest. Look at him playing with that big shaggy dog and try not to fall in love. (His arms while rowing that “Kiss The Girl” boat don’t hurt either.)

Fry

Futurama / Amazon

The hero of Futurama is a slacker hottie. Sure he’s just a pizza guy with an immature sense of humor, but he’s also caring and kindhearted and can rise to the challenge when necessary. He’s got a sort of Xander-from-Buffy-class-clown charm. Plus, he’s a skinny ginger, one of my many niche types. The James Dean red jacket doesn’t hurt either. Love it.

Dean from The Iron Giant

The Iron Giant / Amazon

Beatnik hippie artist voiced by Harry Connick Jr.? Hell yes. Dean wears flow-y yin-yang robes and sports a soul patch. He likes strong coffee and has an even stronger jawline. I don’t care if he’s a cartoon. Dude is straight-up handsome.

Bruce Wayne from Batman: The Animated Series

Batman: The Animated Series / Amazon

It’s natural to find the brooding caped crusader hot in any form, so his cartoon counterpart isn’t a big leap. Though for me, The Joker always stole the show in Batman: The Animated Series, which I rediscovered in high school while babysitting for two rambunctious little boys, Bruce Wayne has the chiseled jawline and dark features to win over many a villainous (and non-villainous) female.

Li Shang from Mulan

Mulan / Amazon

Let’s get down to business….in my pants. Byeeeee.

Michelangelo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

TMNT / Amazon

Granted all the Ninja Turtles pretty much look alike aside from their colorful bandanas, but Michelangelo always struck me as waaaay cooler than the other turtles. He’s probably down to chill, smoke some turtle weed and munch on a whole pizza. I bet he’d loooove watching Planet Earth and cuddling around the bong. Sweet.

Gambit

X-Men: The Animated Series / Amazon

Never has a Cajun accent been so sexy. Gambit’s a real piece of work personality-wise, but in the looks department — daaaaamn. I have to think Gambit’s rogueish charms and hair and face and body were all part of a ploy to make kids find cartoons attractive. It’s messed up how hot he was. On the real.

Dimitri from Anastasia

Anastasia / Amazon

Okay, so Dimitri kind of sucks. He’s got a smart mouth and he’s a liar and a con artist. But, but, but…look at him! He’s unnaturally handsome. (Probably because he’s not real, Gaby.) He’s got perfect features and he’s voiced by John Cusack. This whole film is basically an affront to historical accuracy but I can get behind it as long as it resulted in Dimitri’s existence.

Max from A Goofy Movie

A Goofy Movie / Amazon

Did it take anyone else way too long to fully accept that Max isn’t human? In the past, Goofy has skated the line between dog and human, but Max just always felt like a real teenage boy. (He probably reminds you of your high school boyfriend, right?) His earnest longing for hottie Roxanne in A Goofy Movie makes him vulnerable and likable, but it’s his spiked hair, love of music and baggy red hoodie that makes him an ultimate nostalgia crush. So what if Max isn’t human? He’s hot.

Tulio and Miguel from The Road to El Dorado

The Road To El Dorado / Amazon

Tulio and Miguel have become somewhat unintentional gay icons due to the ambiguous and close relationship they share throughout their journey in The Road to El Dorado. (I can’t believe this is a sentence I just typed.) If you can get in between that little yin-yang aesthetic they have going on, more power to ya. They are drawn gorgeously. (Am I officially a creep yet?)

David from Lilo and Stitch

Lilo and Stitch / Amazon

What. A. Hunk. Sometimes you just need a sweet, understanding surfer boy. Get out of my dreams and onto my waves?

Aladdin

Aladdin / Amazon

Every single person I mentioned this list to enthusiastically shouted “ALADDIN!” Damn, Disney. Did you mean to create the ultimate cartoon heartthrob? He’s a rogue, a rebel, a thief, a con artist and best friends with a monkey. His tousled hair is charming. Those pantaloons are yummy. And his devotion to Jasmine and to seeing the world is admirable. Aladdin is the ultimate animated hottie.

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image – Daria / Amazon

fyqsoftfemme:

fucking purrfection

deadsymmetry:

Ossip