Shared posts
31 Jan 14:07
LE RISPOSTE A TUTTE LE DOMANDE CHE NON CONTANO
by noreply@blogger.com (Smeriglia)
Si può morire mangiando mascarpone scaduto?
Sì, basta buttarsi dal decimo piano mangiando mascarpone scaduto.
Perché non tutte le scimmie sono uomini?
Alcune sono donne.
Qual è il significato del numero sette?
In certe culture è usato per indicare la metà di quattordici.
Sulle navi da crociera vendono le sigarette?
Certo, ma è molto più comodo comprarle sotto casa.
Come cucinare i campanelli?
Mescolare in una ciotola cento grammi di farina, sale, due tuorli d’uovo e mezzo bicchiere di latte. Amalgamare il tutto fino a ottenere una pastella fluida. Lavare i campanelli e asciugarli delicatamente facendo attenzione a non romperli. Montare a neve gli albumi, versarli nella ciotola e immergere i campanelli nella pastella. Scaldare l’olio e farli dorare: devono risultare molto croccanti. Quindi asciugare l’eccesso d’olio, aggiungere sale quanto basta e gettare tutto nell’immondizia.
Perché a Newton finiva sempre il cibo negli occhi?
Era prima che scoprisse la legge di gravità.
Come fa il computer a indovinare quello che penso?
Sì, basta buttarsi dal decimo piano mangiando mascarpone scaduto.
Perché non tutte le scimmie sono uomini?
Alcune sono donne.
Qual è il significato del numero sette?
In certe culture è usato per indicare la metà di quattordici.
Sulle navi da crociera vendono le sigarette?
Certo, ma è molto più comodo comprarle sotto casa.
Come cucinare i campanelli?
Mescolare in una ciotola cento grammi di farina, sale, due tuorli d’uovo e mezzo bicchiere di latte. Amalgamare il tutto fino a ottenere una pastella fluida. Lavare i campanelli e asciugarli delicatamente facendo attenzione a non romperli. Montare a neve gli albumi, versarli nella ciotola e immergere i campanelli nella pastella. Scaldare l’olio e farli dorare: devono risultare molto croccanti. Quindi asciugare l’eccesso d’olio, aggiungere sale quanto basta e gettare tutto nell’immondizia.
Perché a Newton finiva sempre il cibo negli occhi?
Era prima che scoprisse la legge di gravità.
Come fa il computer a indovinare quello che penso?
Perché è spento.
Dove si mandano i soggetti cinematografici?
Da me sono i cassonetti gialli.
Com’è nato il giornalismo?
È il mestiere più vecchio del mondo.
Quanti gradini ci sono per salire sul Monte Sinai?
Uno solo, detto “Monte Sinai”.
Come si riproducono le vongole?
Non lo so, ma ti prego non farlo.
Come fare per sembrare più vecchi?
Ci vuole pazienza.
Jacques Prévert era omosessuale?
Stava con un uomo, ma era convinto che fosse una donna.
Come si chiama la verdura che non si rade mai?
Peperone, per esempio.
Le scimmie hanno il pollice opponibile?
Ne hanno addirittura quattro.
Quali sigarette fanno più male?
Quelle verdi a forma di spirale.
Si può vivere felici senza Yahoo Answers?
Spero sia una domanda retorica.
Dove si mandano i soggetti cinematografici?
Da me sono i cassonetti gialli.
Com’è nato il giornalismo?
È il mestiere più vecchio del mondo.
Quanti gradini ci sono per salire sul Monte Sinai?
Uno solo, detto “Monte Sinai”.
Come si riproducono le vongole?
Non lo so, ma ti prego non farlo.
Come fare per sembrare più vecchi?
Ci vuole pazienza.
Jacques Prévert era omosessuale?
Stava con un uomo, ma era convinto che fosse una donna.
Come si chiama la verdura che non si rade mai?
Peperone, per esempio.
Le scimmie hanno il pollice opponibile?
Ne hanno addirittura quattro.
Quali sigarette fanno più male?
Quelle verdi a forma di spirale.
Si può vivere felici senza Yahoo Answers?
Spero sia una domanda retorica.
30 Jan 08:58
From the Northern to the Southern Cross
There is a road that connects the Northern to the Southern Cross but you have to be at the right place and time to see it. The road, as pictured above, is actually the central band of our Milky Way Galaxy; the right place, in this case, is dark Laguna Cejar in Salar de Atacama of Northern Chile; and the right time was in early October, just after sunset. Many sky wonders were captured then, including the bright Moon, inside the Milky Way arch; Venus, just above the Moon; Saturn and Mercury, just below the Moon; the Large and Small Magellanic Clouds satellite galaxies, on the far left; red airglow near the horizon on the image left; and the lights of small towns at several locations across the horizon. One might guess that composing this 30-image panorama would have been a serene experience, but for that one would have required earplugs to ignore the continued brays of wild donkeys.
Tomorrow's picture: big pinwheel
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From the Northern to the Southern Cross
Simonamy new desktop * _ *
From the Northern to the Southern Cross There is a road that connects the Northern to the Southern Cross but you have to be at the right place and time to see it. The road, as pictured above, is actually the central band of our Milky Way Galaxy; the right place, in this case, is dark Laguna Cejar in Salar de Atacama of Northern Chile; and the right time was in early October, just after sunset. Many sky wonders were captured then, including the bright Moon, inside the Milky Way arch; Venus, just above the Moon; Saturn and Mercury, just below the Moon; the Large and Small Magellanic Clouds satellite galaxies, on the far left; red airglow near the horizon on the image left; and the lights of small towns at several locations across the horizon. One might guess that composing this 30-image panorama would have been a serene experience, but for that one would have required earplugs to ignore the continued brays of wild donkeys.
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Tomorrow's picture: big pinwheel
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(MTU) &
Jerry Bonnell (UMCP)
NASA Official: Phillip Newman
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S.manailescu likes this
27 Jan 14:54
Nestled in a corner of my University's bookstore near the art supplies, I found this.
Simonawasn´t this the minbari salute?
unwesen likes this
22 Jan 15:20
Human spaceflight and operations image of the week: overjoyed ‘parents’ hear from Rosetta after more than two years of deep-space hibernation
First contact
Simonayeah!
Human spaceflight and operations image of the week: overjoyed ‘parents’ hear from Rosetta after more than two years of deep-space hibernation
unwesen likes this
22 Jan 11:00
Those Who Can’t Do
by Wes + Tony
Simonamuahahahha
Do you know my favorite sign around airport security? It’s the one that says something along the lines of “Making jokes about bombs will be taken seriously, and will come with severe criminal charges.” That’s right, there are places in the US where jokes are actually illegal.
Someday I’m going to come up with a few one-liners about bombs (“What’s the deal with atom bombs! They sure are a lot bigger than an atom!”)* and then ta-da! I’ll be jailed as a political prisoner. I’ll be a poster child for free speech, complete with a book tour, pundit talk show appearances, and a biopic starring Daniel Day-Lewis. I’ll be a HERO.
I just hope no Awkward Dads beat me to it by saying, “Har har! Did you find my C4 yet?” during a patdown.
-wes
*Hey, I didn’t say the joke would be good.
unwesen likes this
07 Jan 11:02
Let Them Eat Cake
by Wes + Tony
SimonaXD
number 3 is awesome!
Everyone loves a great dessert, so I’m going to share something with you. It’s an old recipe for my famous comfort cookies. Friends and family go wild for these things. It’s a secret recipe, which means you should keep it to yourself and not post it where anyone can find it, like a bathroom wall or the internet. Give it a shot!
World Famous Comfort Cookies
Ingredients:
- 2 Cups Flour
- 1 Package Chocolate Chip Cookies
- Pen and paper
1. Preheat your apartment to 350 degrees.
2. You now have 3-5 minutes to live. Resist the impossibly sweltering heat long enough to spread the flour over the kitchen table.
3. Look at the patterns created by your sweat falling into the flour. In your heat-induced hallucinations you may see either an angel or a devil, depending on how you’ve lived your life. No one has ever seen an angel.
4. In your final moments of lucidity, use the pen and paper to write a note to your loved ones.
5. Die.
There you go! No dessert is sweeter than the closure of heartfelt final words. When your loved ones find your body they can comfort themselves with the chocolate chip cookies (if they haven’t burned to a crisp).
-wes
01 Nov 12:45
Evolution Of Music: A Cappella Tour Through Ten Centuries of Music History
by Tomas
I think I just broke the replay button! Vocal sensations and winners of season 3 of NBC’s The Sing-Off, Pentatonix takes us on an incredible vocal tour through ten centuries of musical history. Below is the list of the songs they perform.
Website: ptxofficial twitter: @ptxofficial facebook: Pentatonix
11th century-
Salve Regina
1600s-
Canon in D – Pachelbel
1800s-
Symphony No. 5 – Beethoven
1910s-
Danny Boy – Frederic Weatherly
1920s-
Old Man River – Jerome Kern & Oscar Hammerstein II
1930s-
Minnie The Moocher – Cab Calloway
1940s-
Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy – The Andrew Sisters
1950s-
I Walk The Line – Johnny Cash
La Bamba – Ritchie Valens
1960s-
Stand By Me – Ben E King
Barbara Ann – Beach Boys
I Want To Hold Your Hand – The Beatles
Respect – Aretha Franklin
1970s-
ABC – Jackson 5
Bohemian Rhapsody – Queen
1980s-
Celebration – Kool & The Gang
Don’t Stop Believin’ – Journey
Thriller – Michael Jackson
1990s-
Can’t Touch This – MC Hammer
…Baby One More Time – Britney Spears
Say My Name – Destiny’s Child
I Want It That Way – The Backstreet Boys
2000s
Hey Ya! – Outkast
Drop it Like Its Hot – Snoop Dogg
Crazy – Gnarls Barkley
Hips Don’t Lie – Shakira
Single Ladies – Beyoncé
I Kissed A Girl – Katy Perry
Bad Romance – Lady Gaga
I Gotta Feelin – Black Eyed Peas
2010s-
Baby – Justin Bieber
We Found Love – Rihanna
Some Nights – Fun.
Somebody That I Used To Know – Gotye
Gangnam Style – Psy
Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepsen
Evolution Of Music: A Cappella Tour Through Ten Centuries of Music History originally appeared on Bored Panda on April 19, 2013.
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